Executive and real self

Prepared By Manu Melwin JoyResearch Scholar

School of Management StudiesCUSAT, Kerala, India.Phone – 9744551114

Mail – manu_melwinjoy@yahoo.com

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Introduction• For simplicity, we usually

assume that a person can be in only one ego state at a time.

• In reality, it is possible for someone to behave in a way that fits one ego state, while he experiences himself as being in a different ego state.

Example• Imagine that I am at work,

discussing a planned assignment with a colleague.

• For the first few minutes of the discussion, I have my attention fully on the task in hand.

• If you were watching my behavioral signals, you would make a secure judgment that I am in Adult.

• My own internal experience also is that I am in Adult – responding to the here and now, exchanging and assessing information.

Example• But as the talk goes longer and

longer, I begin to feel bored. • I say to myself in my head “ I

wish I were out of here. It is such a nice day outside – I did rather be taking a walk in the fresh air. But I don’t suppose I can…”.

• Now I am experiencing my child.

• I am replaying times from my school days when I had sat indoors in class, feeling bored with the lesson and wishing I could go out and play.

Example• Bored though I feel, I keep on

with the job in hand.• As you observe my behavior,

you see me continuing to exchange information.

• Thus outwardly, I am still behaving in Adult. But my behavior no longer fits with the ego state I am experiencing.

• To describe this situation, Berne suggested a distinction between the executive and real self.

Real and executive

• When an ego state is dictating a person’s behavior, that ego state is said to have executive power.

• When a person experiences himself to be in a particular ego state, we say he is experiencing that ego state as his real self.

Real and executive• Most often, the ego state with

executive power will also be experienced as the real self.

• In the example, initially I had executive power in Adult and simultaneously experienced Adult as my real self.

• But then, as I began to feel bored, I shifted my experience of real self into my Child ego state.

• Nevertheless, I continued to act in a way that was consistent with Adult.

• Thus I kept executive power in the latter ego state.

Real and executive• Suppose my work colleague

had kept up the discussion for even longer, I might the have yawned and lost track of what he said.

• As he waited for me to reply to one of his points, I might have blushed and said “Oh, Sorry, I am afraid, I wasn’t with you”.

• Now I would have executive power in Child while also experiencing Child as real self.

Activity• Make up at least three

more examples which illustrate someone having executive power in one ego state while experiencing a different ego state as her real self.

• Do you recall any examples of this from your own experience in the past week?

Thank YouThank You

Other TA topics available on slideshare1. Strokes - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/strokes-24081607.

2. Games People Play - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/psychological-games-people-play.

3. Structural Analysis - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/the-ego-state-model.4. What is TA? - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/what-ta-is5. Cycles of Development -

http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/cycles-of-developement-pamela-levin-transactional-analysis.

6. Stages of Cure - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/stages-of-cure.7. Transactions - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/transactions-33677298.8. Time Structuring - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/time-structuring.9. Life Position - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/life-position.10. Autonomy - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/autonomy-33690557. 11. Structural Pathology - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/structural-pathology.12. Game Analysis - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/game-analysis-33725636.13. Integrated Adult - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/integrated-adult.14. Stroke Economy - http://www.slideshare.net/manumjoy/stroke-economy-33826702.