RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions © NLRC1 RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING...

RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICTCreating “Win-Win” Solutions

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Course Objectives

• Understand the nature of conflict• Review two types of conflict• Learn a three-step resolution process• Apply the four paths to self-awareness• Identify the five conflict styles and when

to use them

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“A good manager doesn’t try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting

the energies of his people.”

– Robert Townsend

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• Exists at home, work, society, etc.

• Cannot be avoided• Produces anxiety, anger,

frustration• Natural part of life• Seek• Accept• Avoid

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The Nature of Conflict


Types of Conflict

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Types of Conflict

Man Against Self

• Internal conflict• Moral dilemmas• Fear/ anxiety• Mixed feelings• Dual nature

• Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

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Types of Conflict

Man Against Man

• External conflict• Very difficult

• Personality issues• “I win, you lose”

• Disputes• Resentment• Frustration• Revenge

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Resolution Process

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Three Step Process

1. Get all the facts out in the open.2. Do everything you can to understand

each other’s point of view.3. Find a solution that benefits both parties.

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“Rarely is Win/Win easily achieved in any circumstance. When you’re dealing with a person who is coming from a paradigm of Win/Lose, you stay longer in the communication process. You listen more. You express yourself with greater courage. You keep hammering it out until the other person begins to realize that you genuinely want the resolution to be a real win for both of you.”

Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People


One hot Saturday a young couple found themselves facing a major interpersonal difference. The husband had his heart set on watching playoff games on television all day long. The wife was under pressure to finish a research paper she was writing for a college class, and she needed the internet to complete it. They had a small house with only one air-conditioned room, and it was extremely hot and humid that particular day. The television and the computer were in the same room, the only air conditioned area of the apartment.

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Activity


Four Paths to Self-Awareness

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Self Awareness


Self Awareness

Intrapersonal Awareness: Take an inventory of who you are as a person. What are your strengths, weaknesses, personality traits? How do you deal with conflict? Are you aggressive, passive or passive aggressive? What are the differences? Are you timid, shy or intimidating? Your personality and behaviors impact the manner in which you deal with conflict and how others act and react to you.

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Clues About Ourselves: Are you approachable? Do people want to speak with you or do you sense they are avoiding you? When you ask others to do something, are they hesitant, eager or rebellious? How others behave indicates something about you. Every encounter, whether positive or negative, is an opportunity for you to learn something about you. Take advantage of each learning opportunity.

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Self Awareness

Self Awareness


Seek Feedback and Practice Self-Disclosure: Often others see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Seek the opinion of someone who will give you honest feedback, positive and negative, on who you are as a person and what you can improve about yourself. Practice self-disclosure. Be open about weaknesses and strengths to a trusted friend and to yourself. This process will help you as you seek personal growth and professional development.

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Self Awareness


Formal and informal behavior appraisal: Give yourself regular checkups on personal behavior patterns. When certain elements exist, how do you behave? Do you react emotionally, or do you tend to think before you act—considering how your actions impact your environment, including colleagues and employees you supervise. Take time for formal behavior appraisals designed to help you improve. The objective is to monitor and align your thoughts and behaviors to a higher standard that is exemplary and admirable. Whether you are a manager, elected official or employee, your behavior needs to transcend the ordinary.

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Self Awareness


5 Conflict Styles Matrix

Compromise

AccommodateAvoid

Dictate Collaborate

Low

High

High

EMPATHYConcern for Others

ADVO

CACY

Conc

ern

for S

elf

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When to Use the Five Styles Dictate

On the few very important issues In emergencies, for quick, decisive action To protect yourself from those who take advantage of nice guys

Avoid When an issue is trivial or unimportant When it is out of your influence and control When relationship damage will outweigh benefits of resolution

Accommodate When preserving the relationship is most important When you are wrong, or others’ ideas are better When you have already lost the battle

Compromise When you need to temporarily settle complex issues To find a workable solution under time pressure To break power struggles and take positive small steps forward

Collaborate When you need to learn and understand others When you want to integrate the synergy of different viewpoints When you need to find a win-win solution on important issues

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Summary• Conflict is a natural part of life• Two types of conflict include man vs. self and

man vs. man• We can resolve conflict using a three-step

process• Four paths to self-awareness can help us

resolve conflict• Different conflict styles require approaches

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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions © NLRC1 RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING...

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