Compassionate Communication

(Non-Violent Communication)

To Start with…….

• It is not only a model of communication but it is related to your inner growth.

• It deals with:Change of mental concepts.The words you choose to express yourself.• It brings a paradigm shift.

SituationWrite down one situation in which someone said or did

it which you found disturbing, upsetting or irritating:

Name Situation (In minimum words)

What violence is?

The other feels attacked.Example:You are insensitive.

This is judgment and blame.

This is violence.

When you are attackingListener has two options:

I (Accept the blame)

II (Counter-Attack)

Yes, I am insensitive.I am bad.

Who is insensitive.Me? And what about

you? You are so bad….

• Do not close the door by hurting.

• Build a Bridge so that someone can walk on it.

One should not feel attacked

• Judging You are wrong.•Labelling You are lazy.•Threat/Deserving You deserve this behaviour.•Exaggerating (Never / Always) You never care for me.

AVOID (Jackal Elements)

Activity: Monologue

• Imagine a person from your life. • Use all Jackal elements against him while

walking.

You are a good Jackal

If in other person, you manage to create either:• FEAR• GUILT• SHAME

This is violence.

Learn to express yourself correctly.

STEP-IOBSERVE• Say observation not your evaluation.

The room is a mess.

You are irresponsible.

Learn to Talk Differently

STEP-IIFEELING

• After observing a certain thing or behavior, how you are feeling.

• Your situation Do observation & feeling part.

The ISLAND

FEELING

1. W I – Fine

2. M I – Bored

3. M II – Satisfied

4. W II – Disappointed

5. M III - Thrilled

Pleasant / Unpleasant

+

-

+

-

+

NEED

Rest / Relaxation

Excitement / Entertainment

Culture

Lots of culture

Nature / Adventure

Island is Innocent

There were 3 friends. Two went for a party. Third missed it…..

Why do we feel differently ?

What is the cause of our feeling ?

STEP-IIINEED

• If your needs are met, you feel happy.

• If your needs are not met, you feel unhappy.

• Your needs are based on many factors, your upbringing etc. We all have different needs.

How to lead a life which is fulfilling:

• Try to fulfill your needs.

• Take responsibility. Your unfulfilled needs are causing your unhappiness.

• Other is not responsible for your unhappiness.

• Other is innocent.

Other is a Trigger but not a Cause

• I feel so because you are like that.

I feel so because of my own need.

• If you change, I will be better.

I will be better, if my need will be satisfied.

Formula for Happiness

If needs are met ----- Happy If needs are not met ---- Unhappy

Next Level !

Drop your needs.

STRATEGY

Make strategies to fulfill your needs.

Reading a newspaper ---- Strategy

Getting information / knowledge ---- Need

Elements of NVC

• OBSERVATION

• FEELING

• NEED

• …………..???

REQUEST

REQUEST….

• Please be more understanding.

• Please be more loving.

• Please be more responsible.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO FORMULATE CORRECT REQUEST.

THANK YOU

EMAIL-ID

dr.nidhirastogi@rediffmail.com