It’s News

It’s Quick It’s

Dick

Quick Dick News#6

© Dick Sharp

The Elvis Hospice in Memphisallows patients to die

on the toilet.

© Dick Sharp

If Joan Rivers had her plastic surgery removed

she would look like a set of golf clubs

with a wig on top.

© Dick Sharp

The Shanghai Enquirer reports thatthe octuplet couple, Su Lee and Ming Ho,are getting divorced and splitting custody

of Jo Shu, Moo Goo, Sun Ryp, Duk Bil,Z Bra, Pak Man, Wig Owt and Bet Boop.

© Dick Sharp

The National Enquirer reports thatonce his presidency is over

Barack Obama wants to havea sex change operation and

open a dance club in San Franciscocalled Superfly.

© Dick Sharp

Newborn babies in Georgia hospitals

are given toy guns to suck on filled with

Momma’s Second Amendment Milk.

© Dick Sharp

The Gay Canadian Hockey LeagueAllows fighting but it has to be open-fisted.

No punching. All slapping.Players can also kick but they

must take off their skates first.

© Dick Sharp

Betty White is pregnant.

Due to her advanced age

she will give birth to a 5th grader.

© Dick Sharp

The Catholic Math confuses me.Jesus was born in December.

Four months later he’s 33 years old.

If every four months = 33 yearsI’m as old as Noah!

© Dick Sharp

A Jack-in-the-Box in the Ukraine

is called a Vlad-in-the-Box

© Dick Sharp

The Mime Channel has been on TV for a year and no one’s watching. Not with programming like

“The Mime Evening News”(close captioned for the hearing impaired),

the daytime shows “The Mime and the Restless”and “Southern Mime Cooking,”

classic films “Bridge Over the River Mime” and“Beneath the Planet of the Mimes.”

And on weekends it’s the 26 teams of MLMB –Major League Mime Baseball.

© Dick Sharp

During public appearances with redneck audiences,

Hillary Clinton is wearing a seed cap on her head,

steel-toed boots on her feet,

chewin’ Redman and letting her titties

show a little bit through her overalls.

© Dick Sharp

A Tennessee hillbilly is makin’ moonshineout of Elvis sweat that’s flowin’ from a creek

from underneath Graceland.

There’s two flavors: Elvis Lite,when the king was young and handsome,

and aHunga Hunga when the king was a fat ass.

© Dick Sharp

San Francisco police have a gay canine unit.

The German Shepard’s have pink fur,

wear leather collars and bark with a lisp.

© Dick Sharp

Once Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus,realized the family he married into was well connected,

he got lazy, drank a lot, got a wine belly,watched reruns of All in the Hebrew Family

And Jerusalem Junction.

© Dick Sharp