Quick Dick News #6 - if The Onion had a drive-thru window, this is what it would serve
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Transcript of Quick Dick News #6 - if The Onion had a drive-thru window, this is what it would serve
It’s News
It’s Quick It’s
Dick
Quick Dick News#6
© Dick Sharp
The Elvis Hospice in Memphisallows patients to die
on the toilet.
© Dick Sharp
If Joan Rivers had her plastic surgery removed
she would look like a set of golf clubs
with a wig on top.
© Dick Sharp
The Shanghai Enquirer reports thatthe octuplet couple, Su Lee and Ming Ho,are getting divorced and splitting custody
of Jo Shu, Moo Goo, Sun Ryp, Duk Bil,Z Bra, Pak Man, Wig Owt and Bet Boop.
© Dick Sharp
The National Enquirer reports thatonce his presidency is over
Barack Obama wants to havea sex change operation and
open a dance club in San Franciscocalled Superfly.
© Dick Sharp
Newborn babies in Georgia hospitals
are given toy guns to suck on filled with
Momma’s Second Amendment Milk.
© Dick Sharp
The Gay Canadian Hockey LeagueAllows fighting but it has to be open-fisted.
No punching. All slapping.Players can also kick but they
must take off their skates first.
© Dick Sharp
Betty White is pregnant.
Due to her advanced age
she will give birth to a 5th grader.
© Dick Sharp
The Catholic Math confuses me.Jesus was born in December.
Four months later he’s 33 years old.
If every four months = 33 yearsI’m as old as Noah!
© Dick Sharp
A Jack-in-the-Box in the Ukraine
is called a Vlad-in-the-Box
© Dick Sharp
The Mime Channel has been on TV for a year and no one’s watching. Not with programming like
“The Mime Evening News”(close captioned for the hearing impaired),
the daytime shows “The Mime and the Restless”and “Southern Mime Cooking,”
classic films “Bridge Over the River Mime” and“Beneath the Planet of the Mimes.”
And on weekends it’s the 26 teams of MLMB –Major League Mime Baseball.
© Dick Sharp
During public appearances with redneck audiences,
Hillary Clinton is wearing a seed cap on her head,
steel-toed boots on her feet,
chewin’ Redman and letting her titties
show a little bit through her overalls.
© Dick Sharp
A Tennessee hillbilly is makin’ moonshineout of Elvis sweat that’s flowin’ from a creek
from underneath Graceland.
There’s two flavors: Elvis Lite,when the king was young and handsome,
and aHunga Hunga when the king was a fat ass.
© Dick Sharp
San Francisco police have a gay canine unit.
The German Shepard’s have pink fur,
wear leather collars and bark with a lisp.
© Dick Sharp
Once Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus,realized the family he married into was well connected,
he got lazy, drank a lot, got a wine belly,watched reruns of All in the Hebrew Family
And Jerusalem Junction.
© Dick Sharp