Post on 31-Dec-2015
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Compassionate Communication
(Non-Violent Communication)
To Start with…….
• It is not only a model of communication but it is related to your inner growth.
• It deals with:Change of mental concepts.The words you choose to express yourself.• It brings a paradigm shift.
SituationWrite down one situation in which someone said or did
it which you found disturbing, upsetting or irritating:
Name Situation (In minimum words)
What violence is?
The other feels attacked.Example:You are insensitive.
This is judgment and blame.
This is violence.
When you are attackingListener has two options:
I (Accept the blame)
II (Counter-Attack)
Yes, I am insensitive.I am bad.
Who is insensitive.Me? And what about
you? You are so bad….
• Do not close the door by hurting.
• Build a Bridge so that someone can walk on it.
One should not feel attacked
• Judging You are wrong.•Labelling You are lazy.•Threat/Deserving You deserve this behaviour.•Exaggerating (Never / Always) You never care for me.
AVOID (Jackal Elements)
Activity: Monologue
• Imagine a person from your life. • Use all Jackal elements against him while
walking.
You are a good Jackal
If in other person, you manage to create either:• FEAR• GUILT• SHAME
This is violence.
Learn to express yourself correctly.
STEP-IOBSERVE• Say observation not your evaluation.
The room is a mess.
You are irresponsible.
Learn to Talk Differently
STEP-IIFEELING
• After observing a certain thing or behavior, how you are feeling.
• Your situation Do observation & feeling part.
The ISLAND
FEELING
1. W I – Fine
2. M I – Bored
3. M II – Satisfied
4. W II – Disappointed
5. M III - Thrilled
Pleasant / Unpleasant
+
-
+
-
+
NEED
Rest / Relaxation
Excitement / Entertainment
Culture
Lots of culture
Nature / Adventure
Island is Innocent
There were 3 friends. Two went for a party. Third missed it…..
Why do we feel differently ?
What is the cause of our feeling ?
STEP-IIINEED
• If your needs are met, you feel happy.
• If your needs are not met, you feel unhappy.
• Your needs are based on many factors, your upbringing etc. We all have different needs.
How to lead a life which is fulfilling:
• Try to fulfill your needs.
• Take responsibility. Your unfulfilled needs are causing your unhappiness.
• Other is not responsible for your unhappiness.
• Other is innocent.
Other is a Trigger but not a Cause
• I feel so because you are like that.
I feel so because of my own need.
• If you change, I will be better.
I will be better, if my need will be satisfied.
Formula for Happiness
If needs are met ----- Happy If needs are not met ---- Unhappy
Next Level !
Drop your needs.
STRATEGY
Make strategies to fulfill your needs.
Reading a newspaper ---- Strategy
Getting information / knowledge ---- Need
Elements of NVC
• OBSERVATION
• FEELING
• NEED
• …………..???
REQUEST
REQUEST….
• Please be more understanding.
• Please be more loving.
• Please be more responsible.
IT IS IMPORTANT TO FORMULATE CORRECT REQUEST.