The Compassionate Friends

By: Hope Bartlow

Sharon Hollis

Helen Nichols

Self-Help Support Group for Families After a Child Dies

Agenda

Hope Philosophy of the self-help support system.Target population(s) served.The functions of the self-help support system.

SharonHow the system interfaces with other programs or agencies.The role (if any) of human services workers at the support system.How and by whom the services of the support system are evaluated.

HelenRecent outcomes of the support system's services.How the services of the support service could be improved

Philosophy and Target Group• The mission of The Compassionate Friends is to

assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age and to provide information to help others be supportive

Functions of The Compassionate

Friends• The Compassionate Friends was established in 1969 based upon seven principles. The principles are reviewed and minor wording changes have been made from time to time, but they continue to stand the test of time.

• These seven principles represent the functions of this support group

The Seven Principles:• TCF offers friendship, understanding, and hope to

bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents. • TCF believes that bereaved parents, siblings, and

grandparents can help each other toward a positive resolution of grief.

• TCF reaches out across society's barriers to all bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents.

• TCF understands that every members has individual needs and rights.

• TCF reaches out to the bereaved primarily through our community of local chapters.

• TCF chapters belong to their members. • TCF chapters are coordinated nationally to extend help to

each other, and to bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents everywhere.

Interface with Other Programs and Agencies

AARP - American Association of Retired People Grief and Loss program

ACCESS - Aircraft Casualty Emotional Support Service

AFSP - American Foundation for Suicide prevention

Alive Alone BabySteps BPUSA - Bereaved Parents of the USA Center for Loss in Multiple BirthsComfort Zone CampGood Grief ResourcesgriefHaven GriefNet/KIDSAIDGROWW - Grief Recovery OnlineHospice Foundation of AmericaMADD - Mothers Against Drunk Drivers

National SIDS Resource Center NFDA – National Funeral Director’s

AssociationNILMDTS - Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

FoundationPOMC - Parents Of Murdered ChildrenSHARE Pregnancy and Infant Loss

SupportSIDS Network - Sudden Infant Death

Syndrome Network SOS  - Survivors of Suicide SUDC - Sudden Unexplained Death In

Childhood TAPS - Tragedy Assistance Program for

Survivors TLC - National Institute for Trauma and

Loss in Children Twinless Twins

*see handout of organization details

TCF’s website provides links to the following national nonprofit organizations with missions similar to TCF:

Role of HS Workers at TCF: Referral Only

TCF recommends a combination of counseling and support groups for healing.

• Counseling can normalize the intense feelings of guilt (real or imagined), depression, loneliness, anger, desperation, and suicidal feelings.

• TCF, as a peer-to-peer support organization, creates a safe environment for expressing grief, offering friendship, understanding, and hope.~ Bereaved family find comfort in talking to others who

have shared the same experience.

~ Bereaved parents, grandparents, or siblings lead the groups.

~ Meetings are restricted to those who have suffered the loss of a child. However, regional and national conferences are open to all.

How TCF Services are Evaluated• Seal of Excellence by Independent Charities of

America (ICA) • Better Business Bureau’s Wise Giving Alliance's

Standards for Charity Accountability (see handout of 20 BBB Governance and Oversight criteria)

• TCF’s national organization has a small office staff of 6 full-time and 3 part-time persons coordinating support and reporting services

Recent Outcomes of this Support System

• Annual National Conference~ “It was very powerful to be in a place where

so many people understood what you’re going through”

• Facebook group~ Regular communication from National

Headquarters~ Give and take interaction with other

bereaved parents from all over USA.

• Newspaper attention~ ‘I learned that I was not alone’

Compassionate Friends offers help for overcoming grief

Recent Outcomes of this Support System

• Local Support Groups~ “ are a haven for members to talk about their

children who have died, emotions they are going through, thoughtless comments made to them and their feelings of sadness, guilt or anger."

~ “The father of a student who died in the 2008 shootings at Northern Illinois University will lead a new support group for parents who have lost children.”

• Worldwide Candle Lighting December 13, 2009~ Local Chapters gather to light candles for 1 hour at

7:00 pm~ A wave of candle lighting is carried across the world

through many times zones~ Twenty-four countries reported candle lighting

services in 2008

Ways to improve this group• While the Bay Area has 3 local groups, 625 groups

nationwide is not sufficient to meet the need• Greater interaction and education to the human

services professionals on counseling strategies• No negative outcomes were found regarding this

group in my internet search

Questions?

ReferencesBetter Business Bureau (2009). BBB Standards for

Trust. Retrieved August 18, 2009, from http://www.bbb.org/us/bbb-standards-for-trust/

Independent Charities of America (2009). The Home of America’s Best Charities. Retrieved August 18, 2009, from http://www.independentcharities.org

The Compassionate Friends (2009). Grief support after the death of a child. Retrieved August 19, 2009, from http://www.compassionatefriends.org/