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Be Calm. Be Kind. Be Safe. – Dr. Bonnie Henry

Practicing and Promoting Self-Compass ion

Samantha J ohnson, Counsellor, Okanagan College

Sarah Lefebure, Counsellor, Okanagan College

Territorial AcknowledgementWe gratefully acknowledge and honour the territory and the lands on

which we are gathered:

In Vancouver, the traditional lands of the Squamish, Ts leil-Waututh and Musqueam Nations .

In Victoria , the Lekwungen people (Songhees and Esquimalt Nations), and WSÁNEĆ (Saanich).

And other numerous nations across British Columbia - type yours in the chat!

Agenda• Welcome

• Breathing exercise

• Check-in

• Self-compass ion: what it is & why it matters

• Self-compass ion during COVID-19

• Exercise 1

• The 3 parts of self-compass ion

• Exercise 2

• Check-out

Checking in

What is self-compass ion?• “…is s imply compass ion directed inward”

(Germer & Neff, 2013)• It is showing warmth, care and concern to

ourselves in a way we would to others .• It requires us to honor and accept our

humanness ; we all have flaws , we all s truggle, we all have challenges and difficulties .

• It is the exact oppos ite of self-criticism• It is a more balanced perspective

Why self-compass ion? • At the heart of many problems is a lack of self-acceptance• It doesn’t help to tell someone to accept themselves , they have to feel it• The need for tools you ALWAYS have with you• Research has shown:

• People who are self-compass ionate are less likely to be critical of themselves and less likely to be anxious or depressed, leading to greater life satis faction (Neff et al. 2007; Germer & Neff, 2013)

• Self-compass ion is not jus t an experience of the mind, it is also an experience of the body (Arch et al., 2014)

• Self-compass ion has a pos itive impact on s tudent populations ; including more intrins ic motivation, les s focus on avoiding negative performance evaluations (Long & Neff, 2018) and improvement in s tudent res ilience and well-being (Smeets , Neff, Alberts & Peters , 2014).

Self-compass ion during COVID-19

May 2020

• COVID-19 has shaken our world as we know it, bringing uncertainty and many challenging feelings.

• The Mental Health Commission of Canada suggests self-compassion is an important new skill to learn during the pandemic

• Self-compassion is NOT self-pity• Self-compassion is NOT self-indulgence• Self-compassion DOES allow a broader more connected perspective

Exercise 1: How would you treat a friend?

(Source: http://self-compassion.org/exercise-1-treat-friend/)

Looking at the 3 parts of self -compassion

Step 1: Mindfulness• Awareness of what we are experiencing HERE and NOW

• Involves :• turning toward our experience • not judging it• acknowledging feelings , not turning away/trying to suppress

them (Neff, 2003b)

• Often we push painful feelings away or jus t try to fix them without even recognizing that we are feeling something painful or uncomfortable (Germer & Neff, 2013)

Being mindful of your experience is like taking your “emotional pulse”• Good practice to do a few times a day/as needed

• With gentle curios ity assess what is true for you right now• phys ical sensations • emotions or feelings• anything else you notice in yourself

• No name or explanation required for what you’re feeling. J us t make space to acknowledge that you’re feeling it. • You could say “this is suffering” or “this is s tress ,” etc.

Step 2: Common humanity

• Many of us tend to feel isolated when we’re suffering or facing failure

• We can help ourselves to maintain connection by:• Recognizing that the human condition is imperfect• Knowing we’re not alone in our suffering

• Is there someone who comes to mind when you hear this?• Remind yourself: your suffering is not unlike the suffering of this person• This can help reduce feelings of isolation/self-judgment

Step 3: Kindness to self

• A s tance of warmth and unders tanding toward ourselves – especially when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate

• Being a friend to ourselves

• What can you do for yourself, in this moment, that would be kind or nurturing?

Exercise 2: Self-compass ion practice

1. This is a moment of suffering. (Mindfulness )

2. Suffering is a part of life (Common humanity)

3. May I be kind to myself (Kindness to self)

Source: http://self-compass ion.org/category/exercises /#exercises

Checking out

Resources for learning more

Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion website: links to research, exercises, and meditationshttp://self-compassion.org/

Dr. Kristin Neff’s TED Talk: The Three Components of Self-Compassionhttp://ed.ted.com/on/zhq011AI

Self-Compassion Scale (SCS) – assess how self-compassionate you arehttps://self-compassion.org/test-how-self-compassionate-you-are/

ReferencesArch, J. J, Brown, K. W., Dean, D. J., Landy, L. N., Brown K. D., & Laudenslager, M. L. (2014). Self-compassion training modulates alpha-

amylase, heart rate variability and subjective responses to social evaluative threat in women. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 42, 49-58.

Germer, C. K. & Neff, K. D. (2013). Self-Compass ion in Clinical Practice. Journal of Clinical Psychology: IN SESSION, 69(8), 856-867.

Long, P., & Neff, K. D. (2018). Self-compass ion is as soiciated with reduced self-presentation concerns and increased s tudent communication behavior. Learning and Individual differences , 67, 223-231.

Mason, M. F., Norton, M. I., Van Horn, J . D., Wegner, D. M., Grafton, S. T., & Macrae, C. N. (2007). Wandering minds : The default and s timulus independent thought. Science, 315, 393–395.

Neff, K. D. (2003a). Development and validation of a scale to measure self-compass ion. Self and Identity, 2, 223–250.

Neff, K. D. (2003b). Self-compass ion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2, 85–102.

Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K. & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-compass ion and its PDF to adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 139-154.

Smeets , E., Neff, K., Alberts , H., & Peters , M. (2014). Meeting suffering with kindness : Effects of a brief self-compass ion intervention for female college s tudents . Journal of clinical psychology, 70(9), 794-807.

Support is availableFor students:• Your college or university Counselling Services• Here2Talk 24/7 mental health support via app, phone and web

For employees :• Look into your Employee and Family Ass is tance Program

For all:• Wellness Together Canada: Mental Health and Subs tance Use Support

https ://ca.portal.gs /

Thank you!