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Issue 25 / Friday / One Dinar Universe Guide
The Disappearanceof Women
The Whale Has Resurfaced
5 Questions with Akram Bodraz
As’ad Bedir Reveals Pattern 365.
Looters Crack the Green Dome OpenRevealing Buried Treasures
By Saleh Serbah, Algiers
The logs floated closer -almost colliding at times- and musicians clumsily prepared as the 50-foot bullet-shaped whale blasted into the sky, blocking the sun's rays for a minute or so, before taking in enough air to dive into the water again.The wait has paid off for the King and his flock, who had gazed upon the horizon for hours, hoping for the annual resurfacing of Al-Khidr's whale.What started out as a small annual gathering of Al-Khidr followers turned into a national holiday, celebrated with the blessing (and attendance) of the king. Page 04 , 05
By Asalah Anas, Baghdad
Retired looting expert Barhoum Badr is excavating the site in hopes of �nding any leftovers from the the looting incident, which occurred yesterday. He also revealed to The Broadcast that the One Thief Gang approached him earlier for assistance in looting the Dome, to which he flat out refused, “It is true that I was once a looter, but as you grow and see the world, your views on life change”, he explained. Page 02 , 03
Page 08Page 07Page 10
Nayzakstud.io
Issue 25 / Friday Current Affairs
Long-Forgotten Treasures BurriedBeneath the Green Dome
The One Thief Gang
By Asalah Anas, Baghdad
Barhoum and his team located a golden gate just in the middle of the cracked dome, of course by the time they arrived, the gate was already open and the treasures were already stolen. "I was surprised the gate was not broken", said Barhoum, "Whoever that One Thief Gang guy is, he knows his onions".Since we all woke up yesterday to the surprise that the green dome was not, in fact, a dome at all, Barhoum has taken the initiative to investigate the incident."There must have been tons of treasures here, these are the largest halls I've ever seen", Barhoum contemplated. It is also worth mentioning that the color of the dome turned from green to blue after the incident, which rendered its name, the Green Dome, meaningless; since it is now neither green nor a dome.
The One Thief gang, which are allegedly responsible, ware unheard of until Barhoum undisclosed their name and other information, which are now available to the public exclusively on The Broadcast.
Little is known about the man behind it all, and how the people, places in his life and his mental state has influenced his decision to oddly name himself the ‘One Thief Gang’. “He only spoke to me once, but that’s all I needed to tell he could have been the greatest man ever lived, if only that was what he wanted”, Barhoum explained.
Moreover, when we asked him why he refused the One Thief gang offer, “It is true that I was once a looter, but as you grow and see the world, your views on life change”, he replied, “besides it would no longer be a One Man gang if I was to join”.
02
Issue 25 / FridayCurrent Affairs
Origin ofThe Dome
The origin of the dome was always a
controversial subject among historians, some
believed it was built by Adad-nirari III during the
Neo-Assyrian dynasty, while others claim that it was surely built far back
into history by the Neanderthals, and Adad-nirari III just
reconstructed it after it was almost worn out by
the toll of time
03
Safwan District
The OneThief Gang
UlbaIsland
* reconstructed isometric shot of the location.
TigrisRiver
The Lakeof FourThe Dome
Issue 25 / Friday 04Current Affairs
THE WHALE HAS BLESSED US!
A CALL TO RENEW OUR FAITH
Issue 25 / Friday
By Saleh Serbah, Algiers
This season the watching crowd has doubled in size, with royal promises of a generous reward to the one who spots the whale first, "Most of these people are in it for the money", said an old man with a disgusted look on his face.The tradition was kept alive by a small group of Al-Khidr followers, but the popularity of the event has increased exponentially since the women disappearance incident, some claim that the women are held captive
there, "I swear I saw my wife and a bunch of other women half naked bathing around the fountain the whale made!", said the layman with a confused mix of excitement and broken grief upon his face.
"I have not missed a single whale watching day since I got circumcised 83 years ago", said another -very- old man sitting in the front row, even though everyone knows he has been naturally blind from birth.
The National Whale Watching Service has also issued updated guidelines this year, since the last year accident, when a very enthusiastic whale-watcher decided to tie himself to a swarm of crows, thinking they would lift him up in the sky for a better view, and ended up being pecked to death.
05 Current Affairs
The King, Accompanied By His Flock, Witnessed the Whale Resurfacing Yesterday
Issue 25 / Friday
By Hamza Serhan, Algiers
Olympics' marathon 4th place finisher Masoud Obied announced that he has cancelled his plans to compete in next year's Madani International Marathon.After months upon months of rumors, this news might finally end all the speculations about whether Obied's life has truly gone downhill or uphill since he started using Oxyana.He was diagnosed with lung cancer earlier this week, but he refuses any sort of treatment, and he still finds a way to get his dose of Oxyana to the ICU."I started enjoying going outdoors ever-since I started using it", Obied commented, "I don't care if it is ruining me from the inside, as long as it's making everything else look beautiful".
[Source: realworld]
Iraqi officials said a series of bombings targeting football fans has struck cafes in and around Baghdad, killing 16 and wounding dozens.On Thursday evening, an explosion near a cafe killed four people and wounded 14. Two blasts in the town of Jbela, south of the capital, wounded three.Elsewhere in Baghdad, separate attacks killed a barber and wounded nine other people.
06
Algerian Runner Masoud Obied Withdraws From Madani Due to Lung Tumors
Bombings target cafes filled with football fans, kills 17
The World Championship Starts Tomorrow, 235 Iraqi Dancers Compete in Jubi Dancing
Sports
JUBILONG
The Championship For Long-Jubi Dance
Issue 25 / Friday
Baghdad Based professional swimmer, father and an ex-husband, Akram Bodraz recently had signed a new contract with
Rainbowbow, a drugs and nutrition supplement manufacturer.
Q. How are you these days, Akram? How long have you been in Baghdad?A. Yeah, just got here yesterday.
Q. Do you have an apartment here or do you stay in a hotel?A.Rainbowbow actually bought me a villa in Baghdad suburbs, I
am here to check it out.
Q. How much time do you plan to spend here?A. I do not know, once I'm done with my business I might
stay for a while, I got an invitation from Barhoum the other day.
Q. If you weren't a swimmer what other profession would you choose?A. A backscratcher, yeah definitely, back-scratching is awesome.
Q. Any places you haven’t been that you’d still like to go? A. Yeah, I heard the Green Dome was cracked just this morning [yesterday morning by the time this is published], I got a call from Barhoum and he told me he'll let me in if I pay... erm, if I pay him a visit.
07
Akram Bodraz: Back-Scratching is Awesome!5 Questions with Akram Bodraz
Sports
Polykethe award winningalt-soccer game
now available on yourax video machinetm tm
Issue 25 / Friday
According to those who had wives once, almost fifteen years ago -in the 10th of March, was the first day they woke up to find themselves alone (with their children, the male ones). The mysterious case of the disappearance of women still, of course, stirs public outcries for help from residents.Renowned Businessman and visionary entrepreneur, Gabeer Haseeb, told us that the contractor manufacturing the new plastic housewife models has promised to increase the production rate, hoping to match supply to the increasing demand.The demand has apparently skyrocketed after the puritans finally made it public on national TVs, that they lost all hope of ever finding a real woman anytime soon."we are doing our best to make the most realistic plastic women ever", said Gabeer, "given the little actual data we have about them, that is".Fifteen years were more than enough to erase almost all of what we know about women, that we had outside of the data that some managed to write down, before the passage of time took its toll on their memories.Back then, when there were women, they were not allowed to appear or even being talked about in public, but now that they're plastic, we find ourselves talking about them all the time; maybe that is one advantage we should embrace.
By Gawad Habeeb
The 21-year-old famous logician Ashraf Baker was found dead today in a trailer park in an apparent suicide; authorities found toxic substances inside his car, the police reported. Officers set up a cordon sealing off the street while firefighters tried to deal with the chemicals, "If you enter an area and it smells like rotten eggs, you better get the hell out as fast as you can", said the patriotic firefighter before entering the restricted area.
08
The Remembrance of Women DisappearanceThe unexplained disappearance of females has left the younger generation devastated
Logician Ashraf Baker Commits Suicide in an Automobile
Miscellaneous
By / Bader Baher
This might be the only surviving photograph of a human female
Issue 25 / Friday
According to those who had wives once, almost fifteen years ago -in the 10th of March, was the first day they woke up to find themselves alone (with their children, the male ones). The mysterious case of the disappearance of women still, of course, stirs public outcries for help from residents.Renowned Businessman and visionary entrepreneur, Gabeer Haseeb, told us that the contractor manufacturing the new plastic housewife models has promised to increase the production rate, hoping to match supply to the increasing demand.The demand has apparently skyrocketed after the puritans finally made it public on national TVs, that they lost all hope of ever finding a real woman anytime soon."we are doing our best to make the most realistic plastic women ever", said Gabeer, "given the little actual data we have about them, that is".Fifteen years were more than enough to erase almost all of what we know about women, that we had outside of the data that some managed to write down, before the passage of time took its toll on their memories.Back then, when there were women, they were not allowed to appear or even being talked about in public, but now that they're plastic, we find ourselves talking about them all the time; maybe that is one advantage we should embrace.
10Art and Literature
Asaad Bedir’s “Pattern 365”Exhibition Is Coming to Algiers!
After years of public anticipation, Asaadfinally unveils hislatest tea bag design
Book Review: Beer in the Video Club
By Barah Rafeeq, AlgiersThe state-of-the-art exhibition, costing 4.2 million dinars and over a year to construct, is finally upon us.“This here is the future of tea bags”, said Mootaz Shamandar, 34, one of Asaad’s fans and the man who oversaw the development of the exhibtion. “Asaad was strongly inspired by his cildhood and his mother’s attitude towards tea shopping”.This exhibtion will be the measure of the growing public interest in the aesthetics of tea bags; the way it looks, and the tactile shivers it sends down the spine.
Your Only Hope for Happinessc e r t i f i e d d r u g
OXYANA
By Bakeer Qassi
Fareed Wali’s first and only published novel “Beer in the Video club”, was just re-issued in a new edition featuring cover art by Masood Al-Ashash.If you’re not familiar with the title or the author’s backstory, I highly recommend you fix this immediately, you’ll be in for one wild ride.Fareed Wali’s excellent novel was first published by Audrey Bosch almost five decades ago, It garnered a lot of attention at the time.Unforunately, not so long after that, the author got too drunk and committed suicide, leaving behind only a tragic drunken-written suicide note.
بــيرة فىنـــــــــادىالفـــيديو
فــــريدوالـــي
Issue 25 / Friday11 Art and Literature
Cairo SymphonyOrchestra in Algiers
Best sellers this month
The widely-known Cairo Symphony Orchestra vists the city next week, or that is what they promised, we can only hope they make it this time.Hosny Shabana, the orchestra’s principal trumpeter, was their last excuse for not performing last week; they told us he broke his calcaneus bone while taking a shower in the airport hotel, “this time it is a valid excuse, we promise”, said the orchestra director.The orchestra, given they were honest, will perform Azhad’s Requiem for the audience. Needless to say no one will dare to buy the tickets until they see, with their own eyes, the orchestra warming up on stage .
1. The Robe by Eyad Douglas - February 8
2. Point of No Returnby Marciel Imam - March 7
3. Bird In the Sky by Van dyck Mason - April 4
LIFEOF WHALE
DIRECTED BYAZIZ LAKHDAR
WRITTEN BYRAOUF BADRA
PRODUCED BYMAGED BOSABOUN
EDITEDD BYZAHRAA ALBADI
POST-PRODUCTIONBAHY STUDIOS
PRODUCTION DESIGNMAKHLOUFA BAGANI
CASTMAYSOUM
SET DESIGNMAGDOUMA
The widely-known Cairo Symphony Orchestra vists the city next week, or that is what they promised, we can only hope they make it this time.Hosny Shabana, the orchestra’s principal trumpeter, was their last excuse for not performing last week; they told us he broke his calcaneus bone while taking a shower in the airport hotel, “this time it is a valid excuse, we promise”, said the orchestra director.The orchestra, given they were honest, will perform Azhad’s Requiem for the audience. Needless to say no one will dare to buy the tickets until they see, with their own eyes, the orchestra warming up on stage .
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