Parent & Family Magazine Volume 1/ Issue 2

The TCU Parent and Family Magazine is a publication from Student Development Services

in the Division of Student Affairs at Texas Christian University.

2901 Stadium Drive Brown-Lupton University Union

Suite 2003 Fort Worth, TX 76129

www.parents.tcu.eduparents@tcu.edu

817-257-7855

TCU MissionTo educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and

responsible citizens in the global community.

TCU VisionTo be a world-class, values-centered

university.

Connect with TCU news, social media, photos, and more at www.newsevents.tcu.edu

In this issue:

Kay’s ColumnA message from the Director of Parent & Family Programs

Harry Parker, Diane Hawley take top awards at Convocation

Find Your Fit Parent Connect: The Partnership with Career Services

Leadership Application Workshops Give Students Insight into the Selection Process

TCU Initiates R U OK? Campaign

Avoiding the Stress of Finals

Your Student, Transitioning Through CollegeStudent Development in the first, middle and final year at TCU, helpful information about your student in each year of college

Horned Frog Holidays

Re-entry: My Student is Home for the Holidays

A Reflection from Reverend Angela Kaufman, Minister to the University

Parent & Family Magazine

Greetings and Welcome!

I invite you to delve into the pages of this inaugural issue of the TCU Parent Magazine! I hope

you will enjoy reading it as much as we have enjoyed making it happen. There are informational articles, as well as the fun and entertaining. The pictures add great color too. After you have read the magazine, please send an e-mail to parents@tcu.edu and tell me what you think. I especially want to know what ideas you have for future publications. The spring 2014 magazines will arrive in your e-mail in February and April. I want to invite you to read every article in its entirety. Here, I want to alert you to news and information not covered inside.

The Thanksgiving holiday officially begins on Tuesday, November 26 at 10 p.m.

For some students, due to distance, work, money or other reasons, they may not be going home for the Thanksgiving holiday. If your student will be coming home, you might ask your son/daughter if he/she wants to bring a friend or two. However, if your student is remaining on campus, most students who are here seem to find each other. Some groups cook together, others go out to eat. I have never met a student who did not eat on Thanksgiving Day!

For the Thanksgiving holiday only, if your student needs transportation to the airport, the Student Government Association (SGA) will be providing rides to and from D/FW Airport, but NOT Love Field. The schedule is located on our website at www.parents.tcu.edu. If this schedule does not meet your student’s needs, he/she may call Super Shuttle directly and make private arrangements at the student’s own expense.

Academic advising began on October 29, 2013 for the 2014 spring semester. Following advising, students will have scheduled enrollment times. The first day is November 11. This information is listed on the student center link at my.tcu.edu. If a student has a “hold” on his/her account for any reason (financial, academic, behavior, etc.) he/she will not be able to register until it is removed.

Final examinations for the fall semester will be held December 9-13. The exam schedule is located here: www.reg.tcu.edu/cal_exam_fall.asp. Final examinations for evening classes are given during the regular class time. If your student is graduating in December, you can access all the important information at www.commencement.tcu.edu.

In addition, and even more exciting, we are using our Facebook page, TCU Parent and Family Programs, much more to give timely reminders about upcoming events. It is fun. You can comment. You can share the information. One of the articles inside these pages even invites you to post on our Facebook page. We will be checking every day for the new ideas

you have included there.While many of you are already on Facebook, some of you have chosen not to be. Even if you do not want to join Facebook, you can still view the TCU Parent and Family Programs page without “joining or logging-in.” www.facebook.com/tcuparentfamilyprograms. When you are invited to join, just click “close.” You can still read the information.

In this season of gratitude, on behalf of all my colleagues, I want to thank you for sharing your sons and daughters with us at TCU. We remain grateful for the fabulous young men and women who come to us each year. The caliber of student who arrives on campus each fall has everything to do with the family of origin – you. Your love, wisdom, and guidance have shaped women and men of whom I know you are already very proud. Together we - you, your student, and the University - continue to challenge, support, and develop these learners into the responsible, ethical citizens and leaders that they desire to be. It is our privilege to be a part of your family’s journey.

Have a great November. Don’t forget to cheer.

Go Frogs!

Kay Higgins, Ph.D.Associate Dean of Student Development ServicesDirector of Parent & Family Programs

Find Your Fit by: Brett Phillips, M.A., Director of Student Organizations

Trying to find your place at college can be challenging. Luckily, there are many opportunities for students to connect with organizations, leaders and professional staff to explore interests and passions on TCU’s campus. There are more than 230 organizations on campus and new groups forming each semester.

TCU Student Organizations is creating ways to help students feel at home through the Find Your Fit Initiative, new this fall. The purpose of Find Your Fit is to connect students into activities, programs and organizations that help them find a place to belong. As a new student, there are exceptional programs like Orientation, Frog Camp, Connections, Frogs First and others that allow students to build relationships and understand more about the TCU family. Find Your Fit is based on student development theory that stresses the importance of involvement in co-curricular activities when students come to college. Astin’s (1985) involvement theory explains students increase their learning and development when they become active in the collegiate experience. Upcraft (1995) expanded on this theory when he stated “the greater the quantity and quality of involvement, the more likely the student will succeed in college” (p.18).

If you start to feel as though your student is getting “too involved” – they might be determining the appropriate place to belong. Many students join as many as five organizations in their first semester, and as the year progresses they begin to see where their priorities, values and interests connect. If your student is having a hard time getting plugged into campus, encourage him/her to do the following:

•Check out www.studentorganizations.tcu.edu - and search the 230+ organizations. There are descriptions, keywords and other factors that allow students to see what organizations might be a good place to get connected.

•Join the Find Your Fit group in OrgSync. New students at TCU are a part of the group already. They just need to make sure they confirm the request to join. Have a returning student who wants to get involved? Make sure they create an OrgSync profile, search Find Your Fit and click JOIN. Updates about activities, events and groups will help your student get the most out of his/her TCU experience.

•Connect with professional staff in TCU Student Organizations – we are here to help your student explore the best options for your son’s/daughter’s involvement. The TCU Student Organizations staff is all about connections and resources and we understand the process is easier to do with someone else. Feel free to contact Brett Phillips at Brett.Phillips@tcu.edu or Vanessa Norris at v.a.norris@tcu.edu - we are here to listen, guide and explore!

Find Your Fit is about helping to make the most of your TCU student’s experiences. Find Your Fit makes sure that your student finds belonging, then everything else positive comes after that. Resources:Astin, A.W. (1985). Achieving educational excellence: A critical assessment of priorities and practice in higher education. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Upcraft, M. Lee. (1995). Insights from theory: Understanding first-year student development. First-Year Academic Advising: Patterns in the Present, Pathways to the Future, 18, 15-24.Columbia , SC: University of South Carolina, The National Resource Center for The First-Year Experience and Students in Transition.

Harry Parker, Diane Hawley take top awards at ConvocationTwo TCU alumni who are now on the faculty were the winners of the two prestigious awards presented at Fall Convocation recently. Chancellor Victor J. Boschini presented the Chancellor’s Award for Distinguished Achievement as a Creative Teacher and Scholar to Harry Parker (chair of the Dept. of Theatre) and the Wassenich Award for Mentoring in the TCU Community to Diane Hawley (Harris College of Nursing).

Parker earned master’s and Ph.D. degrees from the University of Kansas. He served on the faculty of Westmar College in Iowa, and spent 11 years as the director of Theatre at Emporia State University in Kansas. He returned to TCU as department chair in 2003. In Fort Worth, he has directed professionally for Amphibian Stage Productions, Jubilee Theatre and the Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra, as well as having directed nine shows for Circle Theatre.

He also serves as the managing director of Trinity Shakespeare Festival which takes place each June on campus and hosts a weekly radio show, Curtain Up, on 88.7 KTCU-FM, which features tunes from musical theatre.

As associate professor of Professional Practice in Harris College, Diane Ackall Hawley notes that she understands the value of mentoring because of her own experience of having a few great mentors in her life, beginning with her own mother and her academic career. She went from TCU to Texas Woman’s University for a master’s degree and New Mexico State University for her Ph.D. degree and joined the TCU faculty in 1998.

Students who wrote letters of support for her Wassenich nomination never failed to mention her unique involvement in their lives.

reprinted from www.tcuthisweek.tcu.edu

Parent Connect: The Partnership with Career Servicesby: John Thompson, MBA, Executive Director, Career Services

In its annual report, NACE (National Association of Colleges and Employers) lists the eight leading alternatives students use to obtain jobs. Every year, the leading source of jobs is parents and family. The leading source of information about how to get a job and develop a career strategy is through the career centers provided by universities. While career centers are not placement offices, they do provide opportunities for job recruiting through career fairs and on-campus interviews. Career centers are the classic example of “teach a student how to search and apply for a job and they have a career strategy for life.”

At TCU, we recognize the unique partnership opportunities with parents that will lead their student to his/her first job on the career path. We want to make a connection with parents that enable both the parents and the career center to provide the student with the maximum possibility of job success. To this end, we want

to engage parents in making their student aware of the services and programs offered free to all students. This includes resume creation, mock interviews, assessments for personality and aptitudes, internships, networking events, on-campus interviewing opportunities and a variety of workshops. Parents have been instrumental in reminding their students of these opportunities, particularly about attending specific events as they are scheduled.

TCU’s Career Services provides programs for students to access 24/7. Starting with the website www.careers.tcu.edu, there are links to hundreds of programs and job boards for specific career areas. There is a website for developing a resume and actually for conducting a real interview with avatars asking questions in a recorded session for playback. We provide a large web program for international opportunities. Additionally, there are career advisors assigned to each college so that students within a particular college will have a personal contact with whom to discuss career issues that are unique to their major. Here is how Career Services will partner with you to provide your student with the best possible help in developing his/her career plan.

Career Services:

•will provide individual assistance to your student.

•wants to begin working with your student when he/she is a first year student.

•will provide a job board for posting resumes and allows employers to list opportunities for students to review.

•will provide resources for locating employers in the top 30 markets in the United States.

•will provide reference resources for specific career areas as well as information for making the transition into the workplace.

The most important thing parents can encourage students to do is to obtain internships. NACE statistics showed that 85% of all students who got jobs upon graduation had internships and that 45% of all the students who got jobs did so with the company with which they interned. Having had an internship is often the difference in a student getting a job over another applicant.

We look forward to working with you and your student during his/her time at TCU. Please contact John Thompson, Executive Director, at 817-257-7523 or j.thompson@tcu.edu, with your questions or concerns.

Leadership Application Workshops Give Students Insight into the Selection Processby: Trung Nguyen, M.A., Assistant Director, Student Development Services

Every year there are hundreds of students who want to participate in leadership roles on the TCU campus. Since these positions are limited in number and the applicant pools are large, the process for selection becomes very competitive. This year, Student Development Services and Career Services partnered to provide a series of workshops designed to help students stand out during the application process.

The Leadership Application Workshop Series included three parts. Part one focused on learning how to create and format a collegiate resume. Career Advisors presented to 65 students and showed them how to highlight their high school experience and connect it to the leadership roles for which they were applying in their first year. A student leader panel followed the discussion where five upper-class students from Connections, Chancellor’s Leadership Program, Frog Camp, and Orientation shared with the audience their experience going through the application process. The student panel also shared what they look for when interviewing applicants for positions within their organizations. Students were encouraged to ask their own questions to gain additional insight into the selection processes.

Part two provided students with an opportunity to have their resumes reviewed by Career Services. Students were encouraged to take their resumes to career advisors, seated outside of Market Square, who worked with the students to strengthen their resumes. Advisors made suggestions on formatting, word choice, and layout of the student resume. Approximately 40 students took advantage of this service during the two days it was offered.

Lastly, part three was a mock interview. Students scheduled a time when they were able to participate in a mock interview. With five students in each small group, each took turns answering real interview questions from staff

members from Student Development Services and Career Services. As the students answered questions, they were able to get constructive feedback from the staff members. The other four students were also encouraged to provide feedback. Each student participating in the process had the opportunity to answer questions, receive feedback, and give suggestions to their peers. The goal was to help students begin to differentiate between a strong and weak response to an interview question.

Based on participation in the workshops, students gained experience on

how to formulate a collegiate resume and learned valuable interview strategies. With this knowledge in hand, we hope students will be better equipped to articulate and present their strengths throughout any interview process. Based on the number of students who participated in the workshop series, the candidate pools for our student leadership roles will be one of the strongest in recent years. Students who missed out on the workshops can visit Career Services or stop by Student Development Services to receive information and support throughout the selection processes.

For students who missed the workshop, the series will be offered again in early spring.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students and over 1,100 students die in the U.S. by suicide, every year. Of these, less than 10% have sought counseling. We are proud to announce that last spring the University was awarded a $243,982 federal grant by the U.S. Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration to support and extend the TCU Counseling Center’s university-wide suicide prevention efforts.

Funding from the grant allowed the Counseling Center to hire a full-time Suicide Prevention Outreach Coordinator. In May, Cortney Gumbleton, a TCU alumna, assumed the position. Immediately, she began working collaboratively with campus partners to coordinate programming intended to educate and spread awareness on the importance of mental health, and how to identify and support a friend in distress. The grant also provides funding for the “R U OK?” social media and marketing campaign, including a website offering resources for students, veterans, parents, and faculty on how to determine if a student may be in trouble. Please feel free to visit www.ruok.tcu.edu to learn suicide facts and myths, and familiarize yourself

with the warning signs a student may exhibit.

As a parent of a college student, you know how exciting and challenging the experience can be. While students work to do well academically, make lifelong friendships, learn to be financially responsible, think to make safe choices, and plan for life after college, it is also important for parents to think about their student’s emotional health.

In a recent survey, half of all college students reported being so stressed that they could not complete their academic work at some point during the last semester. Data demonstrates to us that emotional problems are a strong impediment to academic success. If left unaddressed, these problems can have serious, lasting consequences—one in 10 college students say they have seriously considered suicide within the last year.

College students, just like many other people, often refuse to get the help they so desperately need because they consider “getting

help” as a sign of weakness. Parental attitudes regarding a student “seeking help” often play a large role in whether or not he/she will actually do so. Studies show more frequent parental contact with a son/daughter, positively correlates with a student’s willingness to talk about alcohol and drugs, eating disorders, and suicide. Parents have the power to reiterate messages of health and wellness to their students.

It is easy for all TCU students to get professional help. The Counseling Center has a counselor-on-call during regular business hours Monday through Friday. Walk-in crisis appointments are available or students may call 817-257-7863 to schedule an appointment. In the event of an after-hours emergency, a counselor can be reached by calling the TCU Campus Police at 817-257-7777.

There is also a free and confidential national hotline, where anyone may talk to a trained crisis counselor, 24/7. The number to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 800-273-TALK (8255).

Please familiarize yourself with risk factors, protective actions, and the warning signs associated with suicide. Encourage your son/daughter to do the same. It is important that all of us are diligent in learning to talk with or approach someone about whom we are concerned and know the resources to further refer that person to professional services.

For more information on the R U OK initiative at TCU, go to www.ruok.tcu.edu.

TCU Initiates R U OK? Campaignby: Cortney Gumbleton, M.A., Suicide Prevention Outreach Coordinator

The week of final examinations is the most stressful time of the year for college students. With the holidays around the corner and their GPAs hanging in the balance, the mere mention of the word “finals” can be enough to send them into a tailspin. As a parent, you know that your student is stressed and exhausted. You want to help.

You may be far away but not so far that you cannot support your student. There are several ways in which you might assist him/her during finals week.

Encouragement: Students respond to parental encouragement. Parents can let their students know that they know their students are under stress. Remind them that they will get through this challenging time. Feel free to say, “I’m proud of you!”

Send Bits of Love: A card that arrives in her mailbox, a funny comic strip, an e-card, a care package from home, can brighten a day. A little bit of love goes a long way.

Help Your Student Stay Focused: Try not to bother your son/daughter with issues from home during this time. If there is anything going on at home that can wait until after exams, try to wait. Your student needs to be able to stay focused on schoolwork right now.

Give a suggestion or two, and then step back. Your student may appear not to be listening, but don’t worry. Your words are out there for the taking. Here are some useful tips to share:

•Sleep – Sleep is highly underrated. Some people can function well on three hours of sleep, but most people cannot. Even during finals week, no student should try to pull all-nighters. If a student needs to sleep 10 hours a night, just do it!

•Take Short Study Breaks – Studying non-stop is actually not helpful. After a long period of studying, concentration will be broken, and the material will not be retained well. Study for 30 minutes and break for five or study for 50 minutes and break for 10. Walk around, get the blood flowing!

•Choose Study Environments Carefully – Do not just start studying anywhere. A student room probably is not ideal. Find a quiet, orderly place. A peaceful environment can help concentration.

•Prioritize – Students should plan the week, plan the day, and plan what to study. If a student just starts studying without a plan, it is easy to overlook important areas and over-study unimportant subjects. Attend the “Preparing for Finals” Academic Success Workshop (Monday, November 18 or Tuesday, November 19 at 4 p.m., in Palko 226) and/or meet with an academic skills coach in the Center for Academic Services, Sadler 1010.

•Get Help – Many students are afraid to ask for help. This is a big mistake. If a student does not understand what to do or study, he/she should ask someone. In most cases, classmates and/or professors will be glad to help. Also, students should take advantage of resources like the Writing Center and Math Clinic.

•Use Study Groups – The best way for students to use study groups is for review. They should learn the material and then review it by explaining the subject to the study group.

Following these suggestions should help your son/daughter wrap up fall semester with a win!

Avoiding the Stress of FinalsCenter for Academic Services

Center for Academic Services Sadler Hall, Room 1010 and 1022 TCU Box 297710 Fort Worth, TX 76129 (817) 257-7486 Advising (817) 257-6567 Disabilities (817) 257-5358 FAX Academic_Services@tcu.edu

Your Student, Transitioning Through CollegeStudent Development in the first, middle and final year at TCUClass of 2017 The First Year

November means that your student is almost finished with his or her first semester at TCU! It’s an exciting time on campus with much going on. With thanks to the National Resource Center on the First Year Experience, here are some things we know your student may be experiencing and thinking right now:

•There is a whole lot going on. November is the final push to finals. Academically, this means tests, projects, and other assignments are picking up as faculty work to close out the semester. Outside of class, organizational responsibilities pick up as students plan for next semester, and many leadership roles begin their application processes.

•Maybe you can not go home again. Thanksgiving is the first time many students have been home since leaving in August. While home, there’s a lot to try to do – catch up with high school friends, spend time with family, and still keep up with what is going on at TCU. Expect them to try to reconcile where they have been with where they are now. For some students, this means a new bout of homesickness as they realize that things will not be the same as they were. Others cannot wait to get back to the busyness and independence of life at TCU. Regardless, the Thanksgiving break is a great time to make sure your student is catching up on rest, reconnecting with important relationships (with both family and friends), and sharing with

you many of the great things he/she is learning in college.

•This might be easier someplace else. During November, students at colleges across the country start thinking they can solve many of their problems by transferring. We always encourage students to give things a try for the full academic year – many things look different in the spring semester.

•I’ve got this. For other students, November is the time when college starts to really come together. They feel confident in their place on campus, relationships begin to deepen, and TCU feels like home. Expect lots of great stories about new friends and new experiences.

With all that in mind, we want to give you some important resources for this month:

•While your student has probably gone through some exciting changes this semester, trust your judgment if something does not seem right. You know your student best, so give us a call if you notice troubling changes in behavior or habits. If you have concerns, you may contact the Office of Campus Life at 817-257-7926.

•Several great leadership positions (including Frog Camp facilitators, Orientation Leaders and Resident Assistants) begin recruiting in November. Visit www.sds.tcu.edu for more information on timelines and application processes.

•Finally, TCU’s Student Government Association sponsors a free shuttle to and from DFW around Thanksgiving. Visit www.sga.tcu.edu for more information.

Class of 2016 & 2015The Sophomore & Junior Year Experience

A great deal of attention is given to students in their first year of college, and for many good reasons. The adjustment to a new environment and college life can be quite challenging. But what about the second and third years of college? We sometimes refer to these as the “wandering years” of college.

The newness and excitement of the first year gives way to the realities of majors, responsibilities, and, yes, the looming prospect of future employment in the “real world.”

In the middle years of college, students are engaged in a process of exploration—specifically, moving from random exploration to a more narrow and focused exploration of options and opportunities (Schaller, 2005). Ideally, their attention is increasingly drawn to a smaller number of commitments that are congruent with who they understand themselves to be. Among the many developmental tasks in the middle years is certainly the following:

•deepening relationships with selected peers, staff, and faculty who accompany them on their journey;

•discovering and naming what’s important to them and how that fits into an emerging identity;

•wrestling with questions of purpose, passion, major, and career;

•developing personal competence, a sense of autonomy, and becoming at home in the world.

Trung Nguyen, M.A., Assistant Director, Student Development Services

Daniel Terry, Ed.D., Director of the Sophomore & Junior Year Experience, Student Development Services

As always, we are here to help your student successfully

navigate their college career. Students can find us in suite 2003, on the second floor of the Brown-Lupton University

Union or by calling 817-257-7855.

In an attempt to help second-year students reflect on these areas of growth and effectively move through them, Student Development Services has created Sophomore Getaway. Sophomore Getaway is a retreat experience in the Texas Hill Country designed to help second-year students explore issues of purpose, identity, and life direction with peers and faculty/staff guides over a two-and-a-half day period. Personal reflection, small-group experiences, and large group teaching sessions form the backbone of this informal, yet intentional experience. Below are relevant details about this great opportunity for your second-year student:

Sophomore Getaway •Dates: January 9-11, 2014•Location: The Retreat @ Balcones Springs in Marble Falls, TX

•Cost: $200•Info & sign up: www.sds.tcu.edu

Third-year students ought to become other-focused. As students move toward graduation, it’s important that they begin to ask themselves, “Given who I am and what I do well, how can I positively impact the world?” A specific opportunity offered through Student Development Services is the opportunity to receive a Frogs Give Back grant. Within this program, students create and implement a service project intended to serve an identified community in the Fort Worth area with a specific need. Grants of up to $350 are available and are intended to serve as “seed money” for chosen projects. Encourage your student to apply during the month of November! Additional information and an application can be found here: www.sds.tcu.edu.

The middle years of college represent an opportunity for students to cultivate their identity and begin making significant decisions and commitments congruent with that identity. Encourage your student to take responsibility for their learning, reflect on their experiences, and seek out meaningful relationships and experiences on campus that can guide them along the way.

Class of 2014Wrapping Up & Moving On: Transitions in theSenior Year

The senior year completes a significant leg of life’s journey while also taking first steps on the next. It is a time of letting go that can be both joyous and sad, and a time of new beginnings that can be both exhilarating and frightening. Research shows that seniors’ concerns go beyond employment and graduate school issues and include change/loss and support (Pistilli, Taub, & Bennett, 2003), and social skills and friendships (Maurer, J. F., 1982). Developmental models also suggest this is a phase of life in which our students are more clearly defining and stabilizing their identities as adults (Super, 1969) and exploring and realizing their capacity for intimacy (Erikson, 1968). Although the specifics vary from one senior to another, all face these developmental challenges:

•coping with personal adjustments in shifting from college to post-college life

•achieving meaningful closure to college experiences

•celebrating accomplishments and recognizing successes

•committing to roles as ethical leaders and responsible citizens

The typical college experience automatically guides students through some of these challenges, yet much remains for each student’s own discovery, attention, and effort. TCU Senior Transitions provides guidance, resources, and programming that help seniors recognize, understand, and successfully respond to their developmental challenges and opportunities. Among their most important developmental demands, seniors commonly need to learn and refine the skills of independent living, including acquiring health care, building community and support networks, and financial management.

They must also cope with relationship changes, and adapting to new environments and schedules.

In assisting our students, Senior Transitions partners with a variety of entities on campus, including Career Services, Alumni Relations, the Student Government Association, and many others. Our combined efforts to assist seniors are presented under the label of “Senior [dis]Orientation,” a name that represents a bookend counterpart to the orientation of new students. It thus reflects the theme of preparing for and starting a new journey, while also addressing the feelings of uncertainty frequently arising among seniors.

You, the parents and other family members of seniors, are among our most important partnerships in this work. You can make a significant impact simply by welcoming discussion on the developmental challenges they are facing and helping them recognize the resources offered at TCU. A useful checklist for this purpose is available here: www.sds.tcu.edu/mustdo4asp.asp.

Important events to put on every senior’s calendar include these:

•Senior Ring Ceremony during Family Weekend

•Homecoming, which is a great time to meet or reconnect with alumni

•Career & Internship Expos in the fall and spring

•Career Conference in January•Senior Toast & Fiesta in December or May for either fall or spring graduates

Finally, as noted before, the needs of each student can be different in significant ways. The staff of Senior Transitions therefore welcomes the opportunity to meet with students on an individual basis to clarify and address their unique needs.Students can find us in suite 2003, on the second floor of the Brown-Lupton University Union or by calling 817-257-7855.

Chuck Dunning, M.A., Direc-tor of the Senior Experience, Student Development Services

hundreds of needy children in the local community. Students, faculty, and staff voluntarily “adopt” these children and help fulfill their holiday wishes of clothing, toys, and basic necessities. Watching the TCU community embrace these children and bring their gifts to the Tree Lighting ceremony is a powerful reminder of the selflessness and kindness of the members of the TCU family. The gift drive is the embodiment of the TCU mission statement.

And it would not be the holiday season at TCU without Late Night Breakfast. During final exam week, TCU faculty and staff gather together to serve a night-time breakfast to students in the Brown-Lupton University Union. The event is a great way for students to unwind from the pressure of academics, see their friends one last time before Winter Break, and celebrate the impending holiday season. It is a tradition that TCU students of all ages – freshmen through seniors – anticipate all fall.

These are just a few of our favorite ways that the TCU family celebrates the holiday season. What are some of the traditions that make the holidays special in your household? Tell us about your family’s traditions on the TCU Parent & Family Programs Facebook page at www.facebook.com/TCUParentFamilyPrograms.

Every family has their own special holiday traditions. And the TCU Horned Frog family is no different. With 40 percent of TCU students coming from outside of Texas, creating a holiday atmosphere on campus is an important part of making TCU feel like home to our student population. From decorations to annual events, there is no shortage of holiday spirit at the close of the fall semester.

Holidays at TCU, as this celebratory time is called, starts Thanksgiving week. As students depart for Thanksgiving break, the university Christmas tree makes its way to campus. The tree, which stands from 40 to 45 feet tall, is harvested in Michigan in the early fall. It spends several weeks in one of the Great Lakes before traveling to its new home in Fort Worth. A few days before Thanksgiving, the tree is hoisted in place in the Campus Commons using a giant crane

and adorned in purple and white. When the students return from Thanksgiving break, they eagerly flock to the Commons for their

first glimpse of one of the largest live Christmas trees in the DFW Metroplex.

As has become tradition, the TCU Christmas Tree is not lit until the Tree Lighting ceremony. This ceremony takes place the first Tuesday or Wednesday after Thanksgiving and draws over 5,000 TCU students, alumni, and community members.

With over 20,000 lights and hundreds of ornaments, the tree is the site of many roommate photos and has even played host to a few marriage proposals over the years. In addition to witnessing the lighting of the tree, the ceremony is also a time to celebrate together as a Horned Frog family while singing carols, drinking hot cocoa, and taking plenty of photos with Santa and his reindeer.

Another important TCU Holiday tradition is the annual Order of Omega Toy Drive. The drive, which benefits Child Protective Services of Fort Worth, supplies toys for

Horned Frog Holidaysby: Brad Thompson, B.S., Assistant Director of Student Activities & Kim Turner, M.A., Director of Student Activities

I hope that the Thanksgiving holidays and Winter Break will be a joyful time for you and your family. Hopefully you will be able to spend time with your student, listening to stories from campus and/or watching as a pack of high school buddies run in and then run out taking your student with them. Perhaps, you may find yourself yelling, as they run out the door, “But, I wanted to spend some time . . .” Bummer! I hate it when that happens!

With careful planning, both holiday breaks should afford you some special time together. Especially if your student is a first year or a transfer student living away from home for the first time, the holidays can prove to be a somewhat challenging time for both parents and students. You are both very excited to see one another, spending time doing the things that you remember “make you a family.” Each party (parents and student) comes to this homecoming experience with some similar but often times, very different expectations.

You remember how things were the day your son/daughter left for college. You know your student’s schedule, favorite foods, etc. You know how your family system has worked for all these years. In a sense, you are planning to take up where you left off.

Your student remembers how things have been all semester. He/she has some new friends, new food interests, and new kinds of music perhaps. Your student has not been signing in and out at night; not accountable to anyone at bedtime. Maybe his/her dishes are under the bed or the laundry piled high in the corner. “I have my own life now.”

Your student is thinking, “My room, my stuff, my life.” You are thinking, “You know to take your clothes to the laundry room and your dirty dishes to the sink in the kitchen!” You are thinking, “Home by midnight.” Your student is thinking, “See my old friends again – don’t know when I’ll be back!” And the conflict begins.

Before you get embedded in a fight that causes each of you to wish the other wasn’t there, sit down, and have a conversation. (Thanksgiving could be a good time to discuss planning for the month-long break that starts in December.) Tell your student that you want the holidays to be wonderful. Tell him/her that you would like to discuss the expectations of each other so that the holidays will be more enjoyable for everyone. Discuss issues that may arise BEFORE they become a problem!

Some helpful suggestions:

•Identify together what issues might become “trigger points” for conflict within your family.

•You, as parents, and your son/daughter should make separate lists about what each is expecting on these issues and any others that may come to mind.

•Share respective lists with one another.

•On issues where the expectation is very great, discuss calmly what might be a reasonable compromise. (Ex. You want your student home by midnight every night. Your student wants to come home if and when he/she gets ready. Compromise: Because the family goes to bed at 11 p.m., the student agrees to give you a “courtesy call” by 10:50 pm to confirm his/her plans and report an expected time of arrival. Some parents may want to be wakened when their student returns at 2 a.m., others will opt not to be disturbed.)

•If unanticipated conflicts arise, ask to talk calmly instead of screaming out the differences.

•If you want to spend individual time with your student, don’t assume it is going to happen. Ask your student to get his/her social calendar out so that the two of you can schedule some intentional together-time.

•If there are some “command family appearances,” tell your student at the very beginning of the visit (or earlier), “I know you are not here for long and you have lots of people to see and things you want to do. Let me tell you the times that are already scheduled so that you will be able to plan all the things you want to do while you are home.”

•Parents and students need to remember that this time won’t come again. Each should think about the time they have together as the making of a memory. It will help each be more patient and tolerant of the other, as well as give fuel to the heart in the future when separations are more frequent than the times together.

These are just a few suggestions to better insure the happiest of holidays. The Thanksgiving and winter holidays are a much-anticipated time for all concerned. I promise you, your student is as thrilled to be home for the holidays as you are to have him/her there. Don’t let a few differences in expectations destroy a fabulous reunion.

If you have other suggestions for a tranquil homecoming, please e-mail me at parents@tcu.edu. I will share them with parents in future writings.

Re-entry: My Student is Home for the Holidaysby: Kay Higgins, Ph.D., Associate Dean of Student Development Services, Director of Parent & Family Programs

With careful planning, both holiday breaks

should afford you some special time together.

Identify together what issues might become

“trigger points”for conflict within

your family.

As I enter my 10th year as University Chaplain, the reasons that I love this campus and this community are too many to name. That said, I also have an additional affinity for this place because it, just like for your students, is also my alma mater. Of the many memories from my college days, I particularly remember the process of packing up at the end of each break with excitement (and sometimes also with uncertainty) to come back to school. As I think back to those times, I visibly remember my dad packing up a toolbox to put in the trunk of my car just in case I had a problem. (Admittedly, this was in the day before cell phones and maybe even AAA.). It's become a frequent memory and metaphor these days as I talk with students, not only about how to handle the practical matters of life (laundry, checkbooks, etc.), but more importantly as we talk about how they’ll nurture their faith, develop spirituality healthy lives, and articulate what they believe.

Everyone needs and, in fact, has a toolbox they turn to throughout life as they develop lives of meaning, purpose and value. The question is, what’s in it? Here’s some of what is in ours here at TCU as we support students in their spiritual journeys:

Opportunities to Connect - With 25 student religious organizations and campus ministries, ranging from the Catholic Community and Muslim Student Association, to Young Life and the Disciples on Campus – there are numerous opportunities on campus for worship, study, community and growth, as well as countless opportunities in the surrounding community.

Opportunities for Support – Life is full of ups and downs, easy days and hard ones, mountaintops and valleys, and so all our chaplains and campus ministers provide a welcoming place for pastoral care and spiritual support for all students in times of transition, reflection, celebration, grief or loss.

Opportunities to Learn & Serve – College, of course, is about learning both in and out of the classroom. In RSL, programs like This I Believe, Better Together, and FaithActs help students learn more deeply about their own faith, beliefs and values as well as how to live, learn and serve alongside others.

This I Believe, modeled after the national program that began in the 1950s, helps students reflect upon, articulate and share their beliefs through power of storytelling. Better Together, part of the national Interfaith Youth Core, brings together students across traditions to share beliefs, dialogue and serve their community through work with the Tarrant Literacy Collation. FaithActs, provides resources, programs and support for students who want to act on their faith through service, advocacy, social action or other work in their communities.

A Reflection from Reverend Angela Kaufman, Minister to the UniversityAngela Kaufman, M.Div., Minister to the University

That’s part of what’s in our toolbox, but like all important projects, we don’t take this task on alone. Parents, students and community partners also bring valuable toolboxes to the table that equip students to develop rich religious and spiritual lives. When

our toolbox is closed, although it truly never is, we hope that students will be constructing lives that:

•Articulate thoughtfully what they believe and why (beliefs)

•Find supportive communities to nurture and practice those beliefs (community)

•Discern how their beliefs are calling them to engage with their communities (service)

•Live a life where their internal beliefs and values match up to their external actions (congruence)

•Engage in healthy, civil conversations with others who may believe differently (dialogue)

•Understand how their beliefs and communities can provide support during life’s transitions (resilience)

It’s a hefty project, but an important one, and we’re honored and glad to be joining our TCU families in the journey.

Everyone needs and, in fact, has a toolbox they turn

to throughout life as they develop lives of meaning,

purpose and value. The question is, what’s in it?

...we talk about how they’ll nurture their

faith, develop spirituality healthy lives, and articu-late what they believe.

TCU’s Office of Religious and Spiritual Life (RSL) supports students’ pursuit of spiritual growth, faith development and religious practice while fostering a campus atmosphere in which all members of the TCU community may fully express their beliefs, values and traditions.

Visit www.faith.tcu.edu for more information.

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www.tcu.edu

Our Mission: To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and

responsible citizens in the global community.