Synthesis Weekly Dec. 2-8, 2013

SATURDAY 12/7, 9PM TRACORUM

FRIDAY 12/6, 9PM THE FAMILY PRACTICE Rock n Soul Funk Dance Party

Featuring Wake Of The Dead and Exquisite Corps

POOL LEAGUE 8-BALL 3 player teams. Sign TOURNAMENT up with bartender. Sign-up 6PM Starts at 7PM Starts at 7PM

JAZZ 8PM

LIVE MUSIC 8PM

9-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up at NOON Starts at 1 PM

TWEED LIFE Hey, what's up with all those people on bikes wearing crazy old-timey outfits? Lemmie 'splain you a thing : that was the Tweed Ride, and it is both the past and the future. It is the folding of time in upon itself. It is what you and everyone else should be doing twice a year, at the very least.

PAGE 8 IMMACULATE INFECTION

PAGE 5 EDIBLE BITS

PAGE 6 SEXYTIMES

PAGE 7 LIKE, LITERALLY

PAGE 16

CROSS EYED AND PAINFUL

UN DEADHEADS What says, "Christmas is coming!" better than zombies? Nothing, that's what! It's coming with a sluggish Intrepid everything-reporter JD

DiGiovanni puts his body on the line so you don't have to; enduring the rigors of three of Chico's CrossFit Boxes in the ultimate test of physical punishment vs. reward. I will continue eating this piece of pie while I read it.

PAGE 20

gait and cold dead eyes. Get some tidings of hunger for brains with Joey Moshiri's This is Thriller, and The Undead Beauties of Chico calendar.

PAGE 10 SPORTS BALL

PAGE 17

OLD CROCK

PAGE 18 HOWL

PAGE 19 KOZMIC DEBRIS

PAGE 22 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR AMY OLSON [email protected]

THE LIFE OF PIE

I've been eating so much pie I'm turning into one. In many ways it's the perfect food-equivalent of fall : flaky as the autumn leaves, sweet with fruits of the harvest, spiced like the slight smoky musk in the air, and assembled with the unceremonious blorp of the pile of garbage I feel like after stuffing my piggy face.

In other news, I've recently started a half-assed routine of taking my exercise at the gymnasium. I got a membership at In Motion, bought a collection of skin tight lycra blends and boob-torturing sports bras, a pair of really fast looking reflective sneakers, and a fancypants bicep phone holder. I feel pretty proactive toward my health after throwing all that money at it, so I'm going to reward myself with MOAR PIE!!!!

Really though, the gym is going to take some getting used to. For one thing it's enormous, which can be a little intimidating for me (that's what she said). There's also overcoming the social anxiety of being the noob in a place packed with what I can only assume are professional weight lifters and treadmill runners. My greatest fear is sidling up next to one of them all suave-like, and somehow pulling the lever that causes the machine to transform into a rampaging robot that tears everyone limb from limb. It's the second most common cause of injury in gyms, behind tripping over your own feet and knocking over every machine in the place like a set of giant dominoes.

So far the worst thing to happen has just been accidental eye contact. I like to stare at people, which usually isn't a problem because everybody but me tends to mind their own business, but once in a while there's that super awkward moment of eye-lock. I never know what to do when that happens. Part of me is like, "what kind of an asshole perv stares at people while they're working out rhythmically in slinky painted-on outfits?", and then I'm like, "Oh yeah - that's what I'm doing." The unwritten rule (up until now, since I'm writing it down) seems to be looking away with quiet acknowledgement that we are both dirt bags.

DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8, 2013 3

CROWDSOURCED Questions from our Life in Chico Facebook page.

Have you been Downtown since the Jesus Center clients have been cleaning it up?

Lori Ide I noticed sever.al people in neon vests around second an d third just this morning. It looks so mud1 bette r. Thank you Jesus Center Clients for the job you do. Like · Reply· ii:'.J 6 · 2 hou rs ago

Bobby Dean Jones Yes ·downtown bus iness a rea looks amazing unfortunately tile problem has been pushed into the neiglnborhoods of ·downtown . Begging , loile ring, trash is now in ou r front yard s and local shopping areas. Like· Reply· ii:'.J 4 · 3 hours ago via mobile

Apri l Hlad ik win at?! Amazin g response . I am blown.

Like · Reply· ii:'.J 1 · 2 hours ago

Bria n Buckley Yes , R-Town has been a great suc·cess . They have cleaned up the messes le ft by t rans ients & uncaring citizen litterers alike. As well as the awesome results fro m having t he uni fo rmed secu rity patrolman . Ctiirn di1dn't ge t li ke this overn ight, and it will take ded ication for a while to dean it back up. But these programs .are de fin itely a big start!... however, we need to HIRE MORE POLICE OFFICERS in or·der to sustain a dean , functional community! Like · Reply· ii:'.J 2 · about an hour ago via mobile

Cocy Gard ner Mello Y·es! I was just at Fleet Feet and thought to myself how great the sidewalks looked. So glad you brought it up. Like · Reply· about an hour ago via mobile · Edited

Miggy Fu ana They are .awesome!!

Like · Reply· 2 hours ago via. mobile

Josie C Harrison Yes great job!

Like · Reply· ii:'.J 1 · 2 hours ago via mobile

Javier G Yes, I could feel and see the d iffe rence on Christmas Preview night. Very happy with the ·changes. Like· Re ply · ii:'.J 1 · 3 hours ago via mobile

FA CEBOOK.COM/ CHICOCA

4 DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8, 2013

NOW HEAR THIS Synthesis Weekly Playlist

AMY MICHAEL JACKSON - "THRILLER"

DAIN THE SIX PARTS SEVEN - "THE WANT AND THE WAITING"

TARA BEYONCE & JAY-Z - "UPGRADE U"

KATYA RONALD JENKEES - "CLOTTER"

COLIN THE BARR BROTHERS - "BEGGAR IN THE MORNING"

MIKE MICHAEL JACKSON - "SMOOTH CRIMINAL''

ANDREA TWIN SHADOW - "FIVE SECONDS"

BETH ANY KENDRICK LAMAR - "Hiii POWER"

VALER IE AMY MACDONALD -"THIS IS THE LIFE"

TANNER AESOP ROCK - "ONE OF FOUR"

SYfo!t~2~s!~~ DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett

[email protected]

MANAGING EDITOR Amy Olson

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ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Amy Olson

[email protected] [email protected]

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh

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DESIGNERS Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez

[email protected]

DELIVERIES Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property

of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the

written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte,

Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessa rily the same opinions as Apartment 8

Productions and the Synthesis.

For 19 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for

entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Erica Koenig, Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Dan O'Brien, Jackie

Reardon, Negin Riazi, JD DiGiovani, Jayme Washburn

PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid

Vincent Latham

NERD Dain Sandoval

[email protected]

ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter

OWNER Bill Fishkin

[email protected]

The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California,

95928. Email letters@synthesis. net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number.

We may also edit your submission for content and space.

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SYN TH ES I SWEE KLY.COM

IMMACULATE INFECTION BY BOB HOWARD - [email protected]

THE DOG DAYS OF FALL

I'm still not used to this. I've been working, but I don't presently have a job - no nine to five, no set in cement regular grind. As a result I lose track of what day it is, and with the sun rising late and setting early, I often have no idea what time it is either. I might go to bed at 8pm one night, and 1:40am the next. It's discomfiting for me, as someone who has been steadily scheduled for as long as I can remember.

Part of me really, really likes this; another part of me is riddled with anxiety, but maybe I can learn how to deal with that. Money is tight, but money has always been tight.

One aspect of not having an office to work out of anymore is that I've become more or less disconnected from the harrying, and sometimes dizzying world of social media. As a result I am not up to date on current events, viral videos, cat pictures, or miracle cancer cures. Strangely my life doesn' t feel that empty - I guess ignorance is bliss.

Fall Comes to the Double Happiness

Out in the garden the kale, mustard, chard, lettuce, and peas are thriving and producing. I'm growing a variety of winter

radish that produces a dark brown, almost black root about the size of a softball. I've harvested a few prematurely, for the purpose of thinning the bed, and they are spicy and delicious.

I planted a heap of garlic, and it all looks good, but that won't be harvested until mid-summer. I've seen no sign of life from the carrot and parsnip seeds I sowed. With the temperature dropping like it is I might have better luck getting those started in the greenhouse and then transplanting them into the vegetable bed.

Easy-E, the tractor, is down a wheel, but the wheel is in the garage, the tire fully inflated. It loses air, but the folks down at the tire store tested it and couldn't find any leaks. I suppose it could be the valve stem. When I get a chance I'm going to mount the wheel, then jump start the tractor and move it to wherever she's going to sit for the winter. That sounds simple on paper, but it's a temperamental old piece of machinery, and there's no guarantee it will go as smoothly as all that.

Dreams of a Lap Dog

I thought we were finally going to have a smaller dog when I first met Archie, but it turns out I was wrong. The little dude has grown into a relatively large beast. He's still skinny, but he is tall enough to get up onto the counter and his feet still look way over-sized compared to his body, so he may yet have some growing to do.

I love the dogs, but I have to admit, in a smaller house, with everyone cooped up as the weather gets colder, three big dogs makes for a dense household.

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EDIBLE BITS BY JACKIE REARDON - [email protected]

TURKEY MANIA

You did it!

You survived the influx of family, the ridiculous quantity of food that you somehow managed to shove down your gullet, the mass amounts of alcohol (or lack thereof) and the droning of crazy Uncle Max as he told you that one story he tells every. Single. Thanksgiving. So, first of all let me say, "Congratulations!" and next, "Let's talk turkey."

I am fully aware that you, along with a vast chunk of the American population, now have six pounds of turkey just sitting in your fridge, taking up precious real estate. What the heck do you do with all that tasty poultry? The first thing I will suggest is to freeze about half of it. Wrap it nice and snug in some plastic wrap or tin foil and then pop it into a freezer-safe Ziploc bag. Don't forget to label it so it doesn't get lost in the crowded depths of your freezer! Now, you have the base for a large handful of meals next month when you aren't quite as sick of the sight of that delectable bird.

You can basically use those turkey leftovers in any dish where you would use chicken, which is easy enough to figure out, but if your brain is absolutely fried from all the imbibing and socializing you did last week, allow me to throw out a handful of novel turkey-focused meal ideas for you. Some of the following ideas will come together in no time and some will require a little more effort on your part, but they are all excellent ways to eat, and not waste, all those precious leftovers.

-Cobb Salad -Noodle Soup -Turkey and Rice Soup -Quesadillas with Brie and Cranberry Sauce - Shepard's Pie with Mashed Potato Topping -Banh Mi -Reuben Sandwich -Turkey, Kale, Shallot and Parmesan Pasta -Sandwiches with Curried Mayo and a little Cranberry Sauce -Enchiladas - Pot Pie -Tacos with Black Beans and Guacamole -Hash with Brussel Sprouts, Yukon Gold or Sweet Potatoes, then topped with a fried egg -Chili -Breakfast Sandwiches with Egg and Cheese -Frittata with Kale, Sharp Cheddar or Gruyere and Onion -Waldorf Salad

As always, hopping on the interwebs is a simple enough way to find recipes for these meals, but please, do feel free to drop me a line @ [email protected] if you want me to do the work for you and shoot you a recipe.

Next week, we can talk about trying to get back on track with our eating (until the next big food holiday later this month. Mmm ... succulent prime rib roast!), and I will share with you some of my favorite lighter recipes that I like to put in the menu rotation immediately before and after these holiday binges.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

SEXYTIMES BY BALLS MCPHEARSON - [email protected]

SEXYTIMES: TWEED EDITION Today I will not be talking about sex, or having sex, or what happens when this leaks, or that burns, or what to do when a 'friend' gets whateverthefuck stuck in a body cavity. Nope. Well, sort of nope.

I took part in last Sunday's Tweed Ride and it was nothing short of amazing. For a few hours there were hundreds of fine humans of all ages looking proper as hell and behaving in a civil and genteel manner. I noticed the most change of character in the men. Perhaps it is because women are more used to dressing up and wearing finer things than are most men. That's a damn shame. Clothes CAN in fact "make the man" and it was visible during the Tweed Ride. Men took pride in looking sharp and I'd wager that many others also admired these fella's newfound looks. So it is really to the men I direct my message this week.

As the Holidays are in full swing, you will no doubt be visiting and mingling with family and friends. It is a time of seeing and being seen. If you look and act like your usual slovenly self, don't be surprised if all you get for Christmas is a hangover and 15 pounds heavier. Take this

time between now and the new year to really pour on the charm!

Don't think of it as a New Year's resolution, think of it as a fun game to close out the year. What's the worst than can happen? You might actually land yourself some hot lovin' plus you'll feel really good about yourself!

Simple adjustments - like losing the shorts and T-shirts for some pants that fit and a collared shirt - are all it really takes. From thrift shops to bespoke tailored items, no matter your budget you can find a way to dial in your wardrobe. As I said, make a game out of it -

You'll feel good, you'll look good.

You'll feel good for looking good and that confidence shines in a big way.

Step it up guys. Trust me.

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM NOV EMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8, 2013 7

The Tweed Ride: hipster nonsense, or the best thing that ever happened in the history of ever? I feel like I should run some kind of disclaimer here - I love this kind of thing in my very bones. I can't possibly give credence to a negative view of something so delightful. If you were hoping for someone to finally come out and say what you've been thinking - that curly mustaches and old timey outfits are stupid - I have to apologize that your life is so sad.

If, however, you're like me; if you feel nostalgia for an era that came and went long before the days when our grandparents were twinkles in our great grandparents' eyes, if you love the rich woolen texture of tweed, and the warmth of comradery between people sharing a moment of whimsy and a nip from their hip flask, the Chico Tweed Ride is fan-damn-tastic.

For the uninitiated, it's a pretty simple set-up. People wear tweed, and they ride. If they're really into it, they wear tweed that reflects the era of early cycling - loosely spanning from the turn of the century through the 1920s - and


ride vintage bicycles. OK, technically speaking, cycling was a thing well before 1900. The first bicycles originated as early as 1817, going through many iterations and waves of popularity. However, the fashionable wearing of tweed while riding bicycles is a strictly Edwardian invention. Vay, learning!

The origins of this event - the local version of which just celebrated its second year - stretch all the way across space and time to Jolly Old England in the 1990s. As a card carrying Anglophile (with extra tweed-cred as the daughter of a British immigrant), I feel comfortable nominating myself as the spokesperson for all things Limey. You see, in England there's this thing called a cycling club. People tour the verdant countryside in packs, terrorizing sheep and bullying the Welsh.

There was a certain such cycling club, organized by a fellow named Jack Thurston, who decided the vintage tweed look would strike deeper fear into the hearts of the livestock. They were so powerful and successful that they were able

to cleverly erase all record of their doings from the first page of Google results. For some reason or another the club disbanded (or became so nefarious that anyone who sees them is killed before they can talk).

The banner of tweed-riding was taken up again in 2009 when an online cycling forum called London Fixed Gear and Single Speed (LFGSS), organized a parade-like run through London. The event exploded in popularity, and had to be limited to 500 registered users to keep it under control.

It's easy to see why this particular fashion holds so much appeal. It harkens back to a day when leisure time itself was relatively new, and a thing to be relished; a time when the simple things in life were pretty much the only things, and breezing along through the open air on a clever piece of kit was enough to spread a grin across anyone's face.

Appreciation itself is the single most valuable ingredient in happiness, and it's lovely to be reminded of the accessibility of that.

Besides that, it just looks cool. Trim suits, plus-fours and

SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y. COM

knickerbockers, smart ties and caps and waistcoats ... lt's sort of ridiculous how lame t-shirts and saggy-ass pants are in comparison.

Enthusiasts in cities all over the world have glommed onto the idea, including here in our little burg. Enter Craig Almaguer, Dax Downey, and George Knox. In 2012 they founded the Chico Tweed Ride. Despite last year's damp weather, the event was immensely successful. So much so, they were able to play off the idea this past Spring with a Seersucker Ride, and recruit hundreds of people to the worthy causes of dressing jauntily and fixing up old bikes. It's been a boon to local businesses, and I daresay the local culture.

Let me tell you what it was like taking part in the glory that was Tweed Ride 2013. Starting off from home in our decidedly fabulous outfits, we wound through the familiar streets past the familiar faces of our neighbors. The first noticeable difference between this day and any other, was that every one of those faces beamed back at us with great big smiles and the occasional wave. I can't overstate how nice that is, and how connected it makes you feel to your community.

As we neared downtown, we encountered many other riders trickling in from the various side streets (and, as we would later learn, travelling from places as far away as Ashland, OR, and East Biggs). By the 11am startup time, the crowd of cyclists in the central plaza had swelled to several hundred.

I feel I should mention that this event isn't run by a bunch of costume-snobs. There was a wide spectrum of tweedy attire - everything from ladies in actual Edwardian costumes with the big puffy sleeves, to a guy who threw on a tweed jacket with board shorts (coughBrianFoxcough) -but there were also plenty of folks who just came as they were. This is about fun, so ifthe next ride rolls around and you still haven't put together a fancy outfit, don't think for a second that you shouldn't go lest people look down on you. It might not be quite as full of an experience, but

you'll still have a good time and be a part of something memorable.

Anyway, back to the ride. After a bit of milling about, snapping pictures and chatting, the founders gave a nice little speech thanking the people who helped make it happen (in particular, Jake Early for designing the posters, and Steve O'Bryan of Pullins Cyclery who built a great coffee-service bike for the event, with coffee provided by The Naked Lounge). Strangers became friends, photographers became models, dogs and cats were living together ... mass hysteria.

From there we were off - a tremendous horde of twill, check, and herringbone - laughing our way through downtown, ducking under the bridge at Annie's Glen, and emerging into the gorgeous Autumn landscape of Bidwell Park. I love that place; sometimes I forget how much. It's


like stepping into an Alphonse Mucha painting, with the oddly harmonious new growth and decaying old, winding together with graceful vining curves, the enormous staid oaks and sycamores looming overhead, quietly waiting for our eyes to drink it all in.

The ride "ended" at Five Mile, where people threw down picnic blankets, listened to old timey music on portable players, and generally basked in the splendid afternoon. While that was the official finishing point, most of the participants of the ride actually continued on to Sierra Nevada Taproom (where I had a delicious batch of fish & chips with a good dark stout), followed by an evening downtown enjoying Christmas Preview.

In conclusion: bikes+ tweed+ Chico= happiness. Do this next time; it's wonderful.


THE THRILL OF UNDEAD BEAUTIES BY AMY OLSON First of all, can we talk about the elephant in the room? Why is it called 1078 Gallery when the address is 820 Broadway? It hasn' t been at 1078 Humboldt in nearly 30 years, and 820 Broadway would be a fine name. Their schtick could be that all start times were at 8:20, and people could be like, "I'm performing on Broadway at 8:20," and no one would ever have to ask where that was.

But maybe you don't think that is the elephant in the room. Maybe you're wondering more why we're talking about two separate but equally undead artistic projects right at the opening of the Holiday season? Well. .. Because shut up, that 's why.

This Is Thriller

Local Director and Playwright Joey Moshiri had a vision. A weird and wonderful vision that I can only imagine was the product of some kind of caffeine fueled Walking Dead marathon while listening to his '80s pop station on Pandora.

This is so so so much more than a cover performance of Michael Jackson's Thriller. This is an original theatrical extravaganza, a musical monstrosity ... or maybe a monstrosical musity. No, musical monstrosity. Anyway, there are monsters, and music. Specifically : moonwalking zombies, and an 11 piece band made up of members of Bogg, Pageant Dads, Clouds On Strings, and Aubrey Debauchery and the Broken Bones (hey waaiiit a minute, those are all the same people).


Combined with the talents of the Everybody In Outer Space burlesque troupe and a bevy of writers and artists, they've formed The Uncle Dad 's Art Collective, and they will be rocking our worlds from now until forever (at the very least, during the period of Dec. 5th -7th). There will be dancers, and visual artistry, and Paul McCartney (not the real one).

The story chronicles the relationship of Billie Jean (played by Aubrey Debauchery), and Michael Jackson (not the real one, David Kamrar), as they "struggle with their inner, and outer, demons."

I assume one of their struggles is about her always wearing jeans, because those super high waisted things in the '80s were a bitch to get on and off. You had to lay down on your bed and suck in your stomach while you wrestled with the zipper, and god forbid you'd pegged your cuffs. I always imagined that's why she was not his lover; her identity was too wrapped up in the jeans to see that they were getting in the way of any real human connection.

Anyway, the whole thing is interspersed with choreography by Eva Blanshei set to the music of Thriller (obviously), so it will automatically be awesome.

I'm also told that the fabulous Ann Fox will be doing some crazy zombie makeup. Segue!

The Undead Beauties Of Chico

Ann Fox is no stranger to zombie makeup. For the past year she's partnered with photographer Amy Brown to create a masterpiece of dystopic pin-ups to fuel your sexy nightmares.

Using nothing but their wits and their notable skills, they've transformed 13 local vixens (including themselves) into rotting, flesh-hungry sex pots for your twisted viewing pleasure. Featured models, in no particular order, are Amy Brown, Ann Fox, Samantha Francis, Stephanie Ditty, Aubrey Debauchery, Suzanne Papini, Sheri Bagley, Jasmine Ingersoll, Naomi Noga mi, Samantha Deshler, Jenney Herbold, Ze Treasure Troll, and Kayla Cheyenne Varicelli.

Notable in all this is the fact that these are not only gorgeous women, these are women of varied ages, sizes, ethnicities, and artistic body modifications. To me, that is icing on the cake. Nothing is sexier than a woman with confident individuality, flaunting proudly the things about her that are rare. Sure, I admire conventional beauty too, but when you see a string of models side by side and they're all 6 feet tall with little-bitty noses and medium length wavy hair, my mind goes fuzzy and I appreciate nothing. However, if you put a quirky little tattooed rockabilly chick, and a voluptuous redhead with great big doe eyes next to one of those pixie-faced amazons, I'll notice them all and see the ways they're beautiful.

Among the many great things about this Calendar is the fact that there's no big month text scrawled across any of

the fabulous pictures; they're all primed for framing once the year is over. And let's face it, the only real reason to own a physical calendar anymore is if the pictures are good enough to enjoy as prints later on.

So yeah, I'm a total fan-girl of both of these projects. I admire people who have weird ideas, and the tenacity to not only put them into action, but stick with them through all the unexpected challenges. And I especially admire them when those things turn out to be really cool.

A limited run of calendars are available for the low low price of $15. Just email Ann Fox, [email protected], and she'll set you up.

This Is Thriller runs December 5th, 6th and 7th at 1078 Gallery. Tickets are $13 at the door or $10 in advance. Doors open at 7:30pm, show at 8pm

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14

21+/ 930PM·UOAM/229 BROADWAY CHICO, CA/WWW,FACEBOOK.COM/LASALLESBAR

THIS WEEK ONLY HOLY CRAP THERE'S A LOT GOING ON 2 MONDAY Cafe Flo: Wordplay Poetry Night. 7-9pm

Enloe Hospital: Tree Lighting Cer

emony, featuring holiday music and refreshments. 5:15-6pm

3 TUESDAY BMU: Innovation Awards and Business

Expo. 4:30pm

4 WEDNESDAY Cafe Flo: Raquel's CD Release Party.

7-9pm

Enloe Conference Center: Evening

Of Remembrance. Sharing of photos,

poems and memories of loved ones who passed this year. 7-8pm

Sierra Nevada Big Room: Diego's

Umbrella. $15. 7:30pm

5 THURSDAY 1078 Gallery: This Is Thriller- A Hal

loween Tribute to Michael Jackson. All

ages. $10 advance, $12 at the door.

Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm

Cafe Coda: Moon honey, Bunnymilk,

Jessee W Johnson, Cooper Grosscup.

8pm

Chico Women's Club: The Rugged & Raw Tour, with performances by RA the

Rugged Man and Potluck, with special

guests Whitney Peyton and Black Pegasus, Angels Cut, and Resonators.

All ages. Advance tickets available at Blaze n J's. 6pm

Laxson Auditorium: An Irish Christmas:

Celebrate The Holidays! $37 /premium,

$32/gen, $30/senior, $22/student/ child. 7:30pm

PV High Center For The Arts: Inspire

School of Arts and Sciences presents Irving Berlin 's White Christmas. $8/

kids 12 & under, $10/students with ASB

card, $12/students & alumni, $16/gen, $20/special. 7pm

6 FRIDAY 1078 Gallery: This Is Thriller: A Chico Tribute to Michael Jackson's Classic

Album. All ages. $10 in advance, $12 at

the door. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm

Avenue 9 Gallery: Art opening and

reception : Lenn Goldmann: New

California Abstracts. Music by Charlie Robinson, Lew Langworthy Jazz. 5-8pm

Bidwell Ma ... ,_ .. • ····-·; Center: Spirit Of Christmas Past. 6-8:30pm all three floors of the Mansion will be open

for viewing and will be decorated in

Victorian Holiday style. Wine tasting (provided by New Clairvaux Vineyards)

and savory appetizers served in the

Bidwell Mansion Visitor Center Theater. Tickets will be available starting on Nov.

23. Three time slots will be available

for viewing the Mansion. The cost is $25.00 per person, which gets you a

membership with the BMA.

Blue Room Theatre: The Blue Room Youth Company presents Winter

Revue, a night of caroling and cheer.

$5/kids, students & seniors, $7 /adults. 7pm

Cafe Coda: The Rugs, Biv and the

Mneumonics, Nubble, Karoline Farris.

8pm

Cafe Flo: Lorna & Brad, Zack & Austin .

Chico Women's Club: Sorin CD

Release Party. Lifeforms, Strange Habits, Aberrance, fire dancing by

The Chico Fire Tribe, and piano by

Cooper Grosscup. $8. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm

Downtown City Plaza: Community Tree

Lighting. Live performances by The Yule Logs, Children's Choir Of Chico, and

Sounds OfThe Valley. 5:30-7pm

Harlen Adams Theatre: Glorious Sounds Of the Season! Holiday Organ

music played by Dave Roth, along with

Chico State's Brass Choir. $20/advance, $22/at the door. 7:30pm

Lost On Main: The Family Practice,

Wake of the Dead, Exquisite Corps. 21+. $5. 9pm


School of Arts and Sciences presents Irving Berlin's White Christmas. $8/

kids 12 & under, $10/students with ASB

card, $12/students & alumni, $16/gen, $20/special. 7pm

Silver Dollar Fairgrounds: Christmas

Faire

The Tackle Box: Country Music from

Aces Up. $5

7 SATURDAY 1078 Gallery: This Is Thriller: A Chico

Tribute to Michael Jackson's Classic

Album . All ages. $10 in advance, $12

at the door. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm

Blue Room Theatre: The Blue Room

Youth Company presents Winter

Monstro's: Bobby Joe Ebola and the

Children MacNuggets, Badger, Sever

ance Package. All ages. $5. 8pm


School of Arts and Sciences presents

Irving Berlin's White Christmas. $8/

kids 12 & under, $10/students with

ASB card, $12/students & alumni,

$16/gen, $20/special. 7pm

Silver Dollar Fairgrounds: Christmas

Faire

The Tackle Box: Rock from looking 4

Eleven.

8 SUNDAY Blue Room Theatre: The Blue Room

Youth Company presents Winter

Revue, a night of caroling and cheer.

$5/kids, students & seniors, $7/

Revue, a night of caroling and cheer. adults. 2pm

$5/kids, students & seniors, $7 /adults.

7pm

Cafe Coda: Nude and True CD release,

Brave Season, Featherweight, Frontier.

All ages. $5. 8pm

Cafe Flo: Pull-String, David Dvorin and

Matej, Chamber Gypsy Jazz. 7-lOpm

Chico Theater Company: Opening

night of A Christmas Story. $20/adults,

$12/kids 12 & under.

Harlen Adams Theatre: Glorious

Sounds Of the Season! Holiday Organ

music played by Dave Roth, along

with Chico State's Brass Choir. $20/

advance, $22/at the door. 7:30pm

Holt Hall: Wreath Making with Native

Plants workshop. $35-$45. 1-4pm

Lost On Main: Chico Holidaze Ho

Down with southern rock and soul

from San Francisco's Tracorum. DJ

Fresh Cut bumps between sets. $5.

9pm

Bidwell Mansion: Holiday Open

House. Hourly tours of the tradition

ally decorated Victorian mansion by

costumed volunteers, from Noon-

4pm. Get free tickets at the visitors

center.

Chappelle de L'Artiste: (Paradise)

Carlos Reyes. $50, available at Lyon

Books. 6pm

Harlen Adams Theatre: Glorious

Sounds Of the Season! Holiday Organ

music played by Dave Roth, along

with Chico State 's Brass Choir. $20/

advance, $22/at the door. 2pm


School of Arts and Sciences presents

Irving Berlin 's White Christmas . $8/

kids 12 & under, $10/students with

ASB card, $12/students & alumni,

$16/gen, $20/special. 2pm

DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8, 2013 SYNTHES I SWEE KL Y. COM

ONGOING EVENTS 2 MONDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke ! 9pm

Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the

Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm

Chico Women's Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm

DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams,

signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until lOpm

Maltese: Open Mic Night. Comedy.

Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call at

4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

4WEDNESDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Mic. All ages. 7pm

The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts and

Bear Bucks. Post time lOpm. Mug Club

4-lOpm

Cafe Flo: Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm

Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm.

Signups start at 6pm

Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8pm-midnight

Janet Turner Print Museum: Women

themed Print Works and Shojo Manga. llam-4pm

LaSalle's: Thirsty Thursdays, featuring

Mack Morris

Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8pm-12am .

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close.

Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian Panama's: Eclectic Nights. Buck night and

DJ Eclectic spinning favorites of today and yesterday on the patio. 9pm

7-11:30pm Dance. 5:30-7pm

University Art Gallery: Paintings of Erika

Navarrete. All ages. Free. llam-4pm

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the

Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm

3 TUESDAY Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwriter

Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm

Chico Women's Club: Yoga. 9-lOam. Afro

Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo.

5:50-7pm. Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10.

7:30-8:30pm

Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke.

21+

DownLo: Game night. All ages until

lOpm

Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi

and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm

Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-lOpm


themed Print Works and Shojo Manga.

llam-4pm

LaSalle's: '90s night. 21 +

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close

Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pmlam

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm

University Art Gallery: Paintings of Erika Navarrete. All ages. Free. llam-4pm


DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups

6pm Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy.

Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff 9pm-lam

Howse. 9pm. $1. University Art Gallery: Paintings of Erika

The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm



llam-4pm

Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am



VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance

with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover.

Woodstock's: Open Mic Night

Maltese: American Horror Story viewing 6 FR I DA y party. 9pm

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Acoustic The Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, Music Singer Songwriter Showcase. classes 7-9pm 7:30pm



VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana. 7-9pm

Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy

Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table.

Starts at 8pm

STHURSDAY The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm

Cafe Flo: Happy Hour with Loki and

the Entertainment. 5:30-7pm. Blues Unplugged with Mark "Porkchop" Holder.

7-lOpm

DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every

Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until lOpm


The Beach: Play and Destroy DJ Contest. 9:30pm

The Bear: DJ Dancing No Cover. 9pm

Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music showcase. 7-lOpm

Chico Yoga Center: Friday Night Dance

Jam with Mark Johnson. $10. 7-8:30pm

Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays.

Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm

DownLo: Y, off pool. All ages until lOpm

Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour. 4-7pm


Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pmmidnight.


themed Print Works and Shojo Manga. llam-4pm


Maltese: LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm

Peeking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3.

9:30pm



7 SATURDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting

Circle. 2-4pm

Avenue 9 Gallery: Lenn Goldmann: New California Abstracts. 12-Spm

The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm

Cal Skate: Adults only skate night. $6.

18+.9-llpm

Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Danc

ing. 10pm-1:30am

DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups

noon, starts at lpm.


Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and

80s music. The Molly Gunn's Revival!

8pm-midnight



llam-4pm

LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm

Maltese: Live Music. 9pm

University Art Gallery: Paintings of Erika



1 SUNDAY DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until lOpm

LaSalle's: Karaoke . 9pm

Maltese: Walking Dead Viewing Party. 9pm

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm

IT'S A BOUNTIFUL FALL HARVEST AT

SICILIAN CAFEI

1020 MAIN STREET CHICO L••?) 530.3~5.2233 CG •• ~

DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8, 201 3 15

ON THE TOWN PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

16 DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8 , 201 3

LIKE, LITERALLY BY JAYME WASHBURN - [email protected]

HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE Einstein said that his advances in science were in part due to never losing a sense of childlike wonder about the world. Every few years I'm inspired by a similar awareness and pick up a book on dark matter, string theory or quantum mechanics, hoping to gain a better understanding of the universe. Some authors are better than others at explaining complex theories; often I am more confused than when I started. I was happy to hear last week that Wu-tang Clan's GZA is releasing an album called Dark Matter, an ode to physics inspired by considerable research on the field of cosmology. I have a feeling he'll be better suited than most experts at explaining the mysteries of the universe.

One physicist that seems to have few problems clearly explaining cosmology is Stephen Hawking. Hawking has made complex theories accessible to millions with his bestseller A Brief History of the Universe. In his recent autobiography My Brief History he shares the details surrounding his life and professional successes, along with intimate stories and photos rarely seen from his life. The photo of him on the cover of the book was shocking the first time I saw it; he stands tall with his arms outstretched, hamming it up with a wild bunch of students at Oxford. The photo is jarring since it's hard to imagine him as anyone other than the ill looking man in a wheelchair, modulating in his electronic robot voice.

My Brief History is more than just personal stories. Hawking reveals the thoughts behind some of his greatest ideas, and also shares his early interest in science, and his years at Oxford when his health began to suffer. He acknowledges that the diagnosis of ALS in his twenties and the threat of an early death pushed him to succeed professionally. He also writes candidly about his family and two marriages, one of which gained a fair amount of notoriety and media attention. Overall, Hawking sounds like a satisfied and grateful man, more so, since he has always lived with the assumption that his life would be cut short.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I was hoping he would open up about his second marriage and the allegations of spousal abuse and neglect that surfaced in the last decade. I was also curious how a completely paralyzed man, with only the aid of an electronic voice could pursue an extramarital affair and take up with his nurse, saying "they had a passionate and tempestuous relationship". He stays classy and doesn't divulge much, not surprising since he publicly denied the allegations and the investigation on his ex-wife was dropped. I respect the man who keeps his private life mostly private, bringing focus instead to his professional life and the reasons he persistently explored and questioned the nature of the universe.

Hawking doesn't appear to be any closer to answering any of the really big questions, though I'm not completely sure I'm ready for a unified theory on everything. A little mystery never hurt anyone. It keeps the dreamers dreaming, scientists employed, and gives us something to ponder when we gaze around the world with wonder. In an age of over-sharing and too much information, isn't there something comforting in not knowing everything?

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

SPORTSBALL BY DAN O'BRIEN - AMALGAMCONSULTING@GMAILCOM

A TALE OF TWO DIVISIONS

I love basketball. I get crazy about March Madness, but the NBA is where the action is. Period. College basketball can get wild, but it does not have the ability to cre-ate the kind of storylines that inevitably emerge over an 82-game season - or form rivalries between players and teams that consume a generation (think of the Knicks and Reggie Miller).

That being said, there is something rotten in Denmark; the Eastern Conference was supposed to be much improved this year. Pundits and media analysts were talking about the decline of the Spurs, Thunder, and other perennial West contenders. I realize we have but a small sample size this early in the season, but right now the records are embarrassingly lopsided. Three teams in the Eastern Conference are over . 500 (Indiana, Miami, and Atlanta) and two teams sit at .500 (Charlotte and Chicago) as of the writing of this article. Compare that to only two teams not being above .500 in the West.

What is going on?

There are a lot of things in play. The Pacers and Miami simply got better in the offseason. They shored up limitations and deficits in their rotations - and the Heat still have LBJ on the roster. Atlanta wasn't splashy, but they off- loaded Josh Smith and grabbed Paul Millsap. It is the two teams from New York that are the most puzzling.

The Knicks have started a downward trend from which many naysayers and easily shaken fans do not think they can return. Brooklyn proved you can' t buy chemistry among players, or turn back the clock on aging superstars, no matter how much money you throw at it.

Is a Miami three-peat a foregone conclusion? Maybe it is after all.

Let's shift to the NFL. Someone I know, who shall remain nameless, bet me that the Steelers would win their division. At the time, I laughed and took them up on such a ridiculous notion. Through the first few weeks, it seemed like Pittsburgh was doomed to obscurity. However, as we approach the playoffs, the winds are changing: the Steelers might sneak in as a wild card .

My Patriots revealed a deficit in the Broncos: Peyton Manning. You heard me right. Denver will thrive or die based on how well Manning plays. We know that the eldest Manning does not play well in inclement weather and freezing temperatures. His increasing immobility in the pocket should be a red flag for Denver fans as we stumble into the postseason.

My prediction for a Super Bowl right now: Seattle Sea hawks vs. New England Patriots.

And you know who I am picking.


PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID ON THE TOWN

DECE MBER 2 - DECEMBER 8, 2013 17

ON THE TOWN PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

18 DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8 , 2013

OLD CROCK BY JAIME O'NEI LL - [email protected]

WORLD'S SEXIEST MAN: I LOSE AGAIN

This year, People Magazine chose a guy named Adam Levine as its "Sexiest Man Alive." Frankly, I had barely heard of the guy, and when I saw his picture, I didn't think he was a bit sexy. And that's not sour grapes, either, because I've been nudged out of that competition for years. Last year, I lost to Channing Tatum, and in earlier years I've lost out to pretty boys like Matt Damon and George Clooney (a couple of times). I took those losses pretty well, but now I am forced to conclude that when it comes to the Sexiest Man Alive competition, the fix is in. Year in and year out, the winner is never a plumber or a carpenter, let alone a retired teacher or a freelance writer.

The guys who keep winning this "sexiest man" competition clearly know some pretty influential people. I, unfortunately, have no such contacts and am forced to compete on merit. We all know how well that works out in a world where it's not what you know (or even how sexy you might be) but who you know.

Then there's the question of age discrimination. The contest is clearly jiggered to favor younger men. In a contest based on such shallow values, my added years - which should be an asset - are held against me. I'm not given credit for my significant additional experience as a sexy male, a guy who's had more time to learn his way around a boudoir.

There's also the name recognition factor,

an obvious advantage to these actor types. And I'm sure guys like Clooney had a great many letters of recommendation. I, on the other hand, was limited to my wife's rather tepid note of support. Meanwhile, Clooney, a bachelor, was busy as a bee out there in the world of single women, a full-time lobbyist in pursuit of the coveted title he ultimately took home twice. Obviously, his efforts paid off, but how sexy is it, really, for a man to be so ruthlessly competitive in such an intimate realm of human activity? And how needy must a man be to work so unrelentingly in a shallow quest for such a distinction? Is such neediness sexy? Not in my book.

Then, too, all these Hollywood types who so predictably get chosen as "sexiest man" obviously have lots of time and money to spend on personal trainers, and photographers who can make 'em look better than they probably are.

But Adam Levine and those other movie pretty boys can have their damn titles. I'll content myself with knowing that when it comes to being the world's sexiest man, there are some things that can't be measured by magazine editors.

So, this year I'm not going to even bother entering again. What's the use? A movie star is going to win. Check the Vegas odds. I just can't compete in a game as wired as this one. Most likely, neither can you, no matter how studly you think you are.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

HOWL HOWLMOVESMOUNTAINSTUMBLR.COM

SUBTERRANEAN LIBRARY

My steps echoed through the hall; footfalls striking against paving stones. My hand trailed against the wall to my right; I felt the deep grooves, and the roughness of stone. I smiled.

I'd been exploring these underground ruins

for about three weeks, now. I'd come to love the feel of the stone, and its sense of stories untold, like the faintest smell of something just barely remembered.

Miles upon miles had been traversed, and I was still discovering new places within. The immensity of this structure, and my infinitesimal smallness within it, no longer frightened me. Rather, I was consumed with the need to know why? Who built this place, and what for? For this ruin was very much alive, in a way impossible to rationalize. Let me explain:

I could think a specific thought (emotional ones were best, like 'the ocean', for example) and the ruins would shift around me. Huge blocks of ancient stone would shift, rotating, sinking beneath other stones that were simultaneously arising from the depths. The very structure and shape of entire rooms would change, as my mood changed. Indeed, the place seemed to listen to me in this way, and respond to my thought.

There used to be only empty rooms, vast stone hallways, immensely tall ceilings above, and nothing to fill them, nothing to draw the attention. But in the last few days, I'd begun to learn to read what was engraved in the stones. I was coming to find that I was surrounded not only by an ancient maze of ruins, but also by a veritable treasure-trove of histories, and philosophies, and memories!

Months went by ... and then, years. Reading the lore of the stones sustained me, and drove me forward. I learned of civilizations past, and of civilizations yet-to-be. I read of civilizations parallel to ours, similar, but formed out of very different dimensions. I absorbed the memories of entire lives; individuals I now knew intimately, but would never see. Histories of entire solar systems were played out before me.

I would walk without aim for hours, entranced by the effect of my footfalls on the texture of the floor, entranced by how the corridors shifted with my turns in direction. As the connection between my mind and the library deepened, it became increasingly unclear where I ended, and where it began. These ruins had become my home, yes, but they had also become my very body. I was no longer just a man. I now knew myself to be a vast repository of timeless, living information.


PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY ON THE TOWN


The light was fading from the high warehouse windows on the south end of Chico and I was fighting to breathe. Circa 1990s metal blared from speakers as I dropped down to the floor again and again, both trying to keep count of how many burpees I'd done, and not think about the SO or so more I'd have to do before it'd be over.

Bending over, giving my burning legs a break, I watched a man heft an Olympic bar loaded with thick plates up over his head and land in a squat. He pressed back out of the squat, barbell still overhead, and dropped it with a muted clank on the rubberized floor and let out a gasp of relief. A perfect snatch. Whitney Wolff, owner and trainer at Chico Crossfit, clapped supportively; saying to everyone and no one, "Keep it up!" I set up at my own bar, trying not to look at the flitting red numbers of the digital clock on the wall, and wondering why the hell I was doing this to myself.

Prior to this past summer I'd never had much of an opinion about Crossfit, but I wasn't totally ignorant of it. I knew that like most diets (and pop-stars) it had its set of devotees as well as its detractors; I just couldn't really count myself in either camp. When it comes down to it, there are really only so many things you can worry about in life. As far as I was concerned, the manner in which other people lift heavy things in a room wasn't one of them. That all changed with a T-shirt.

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More specifically, my friend and co-worker's T-shirt, that had the phrase, "Get Shaped or Get Broken" spelled out across the back just above the name of some Southern Californian Crossfit gym. Suddenly, I had a not so flattering opinion. Were those really the only two options? People who say that kind of thing with a straight face generally place way too much of their self worth on how fit they are, and as a result are unpleasant to be around. By extension, my assumption was that Crossfit was just as obnoxious.

Greg Glassman, who founded the regimen around 2000, certainly seems to be. In 2005 he told a Times reporter, "If you find the notion of falling off the rings and breaking your neck so foreign to you, then we don't want you in our ranks."

That being said, I couldn't deny that the workout seemed effective. Crossfit is designed to build a general fitness so that its practitioners are good in all categories but great in none. What that looks like when put into practice is a workout of varied exercises - running, lifting, etc. -performed against the clock. Search Crossfit on line and you'll see a bunch of attractive people with barely any body fat straining to get through daunting workouts. The benefits are clear, though they don't come without risk.

Run-of-the-mill sports injuries and the rare but notable case of rhabdomyolysis, a potentially fatal failing of the

kidneys brought on by extreme muscle damage, are potential side-effects. As far as I was concerned, the stories of Glassman's philosophy and the possible injuries drowned out any perceived benefit. Still, Crossfit is one of the most popular workouts in the nation with something around four thousand locations, and I wanted to find out why.

Luckily for me, Chico has three "boxes": North Rim, In Motion Crossfit, and Chico Crossfit. Like every box bearing the name 'Crossfit', each had to apply for the ability to use the name and pay the headquarters $3,000 annually as an affiliation fee, which along with the use of the name allows members access to a discussion board where Crossfitters can post times and compare with others all across the globe.

$1,000 is the price-tag for the weekend long course required to get a 'level-1' certification - something that's mandatory for anyone who wants to work as a Crossfit instructor. The moves performed in a Crossfit class can be complex, and when performed incorrectly they can be very dangerous. A lot of critique of the program stems from concern that one weekend isn't long enough to train someone to teach these moves.

I was concerned that would be the case up until Ryan Hignell, founder and owner of North Rim Crossfit, told me he had been involved in the sport for roughly 5 years. It

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shows, too. Ryan, like every Crossfit instructor I worked with, is as fit as he is competent. As first suggested to me by his tiny pug puppy, Rogue, who was playing around near the front desk, he's far from being a trainer that reflects Glassman's militaristic vibe. That isn't to suggest the class was easy though.

Our workout of the day at North Rim - termed WODs by Crossfitters - was a 400 meter run, 50 double unders (jumprope), and 25 thrusters (a kind of weighted squat), all to be completed three times each as quickly as you could. The way North Rim sets things up, the class starts with a warm-up, then a 'strength' which is just another term for a more static weighted exercise, and then the WOD - which tops off the class and lasts anywhere between 3 and 15 minutes, and always ends up with people panting on the floor.

There is an odd unity that comes with the

discomfort, and it's infectious.

That's where I ended up at the end of my first WOD at North Rim. Covered in sweat, I halfheartedly joined Travis (a local firefighter) in cheering on a college-aged woman finishing out her last set of thrusters. I came to realize that that support is one of the really unique parts about Crossfit. Even though you want to give in and just lie down on the floor and not move for a while, it's hard to allow yourself to do it. It's not just the fact that the coaches and your peers are cheering you on, and it's not simply because you're afraid of humiliation; the aspect that drives you to do a stupid amount of pull-ups is the fact that everyone else is in on it too.

There is an odd unity that comes with the discomfort, and it's infectious. At the end of my second workout at North Rim I got fist-bumps, high-fives, and thumbs up from just about everyone. It sounds a little cheesy, but getting that kind of support feels really good, and helped me understand why so many people like Crossfit.

Besides feeling welcome, when you end up going to one these gyms regularly enough to form friendships with people there - or sign up with a friend at the get-go - it gets a lot harder to blow off your workout. While we were setting up our barbells with weights at Crossfit Chico, one of the guys off to the side got pulled into it despite not planning to, after hearing a chorus along the lines of, "C'mon! Don't put too much weight on, just work on your form." One regular at North Rim told me that the texts he gets from his friends the morning of a workout are what motivates him to go, even when he doesn't initially feel like it.

The supportive community around Crossfit didn't totally drown out the risks though. After a class at North Rim, one that involved me getting a lot of pointers on my dead-lift, an instructor spelled it out. He said that everyone tries their best to make sure that injuries don't come from poor form, but when it came down to it, "If you get hurt Crossfitting it's because you were Crossfitting." Crossfit, by it's own definition, is the sport of fitness - and if you take that use of the term 'sport' seriously, the instructor's comment makes a bit more sense. Injuries are a part of all sports; people try to avoid them, but if they happen they happen. That logic doesn't make watching someone fall over trying to do a heavily weighted snatch any less scary, however.

An ex Judo competitor who got hooked on Crossfit after going to a class at Level 10 in Oroville, Grant Connor eventually got a job at In Motion as a trainer and switched up the way they ran their Crossfit program. Now, in order to take a regular Crossfit class, you need to go through the month-long 'on-ramp' course. The focus of the course is to develop form, stamina, and strength to a point where anyone who joined can jump in on a regular class knowing the correct form for the workouts as well as having the strength and stamina to finish them. It's a smart move on the part of In Motion and Crossfit Chico, which has a similar program. Give people the option to ease into the sport, instead of jumping straight into the full thing.

That's not to say that the WODs at the ramp up program aren't intense. They're as hard as you let them be. Crossfit - as Ryan Hignell will point out - is scalable. What that means is that you can have an Olympic athlete doing the same workout as your dad or sister. You just throw on a different amount of weight or go through it faster. North Rim's approach to introducing someone to Crossfit is more akin to this. The instructors


modify a workout with weight or reps, give pointers on form, and in general make sure you don't kill yourself.

Variations in approach don't stop there, though. Both Ryan and Grant mentioned to me that their programs were more in line with what they saw as Traditional Crossfit, which is to say the regular weightlifting movements. Whitney Wolff, however, dismisses the idea of sticking to a set group of movements; saying that Crossfit is about the unexpected, so there is no reason not to get weird with the workouts. That accounts for the tractor tires, sandbags, and the rock-climbing wall that Chico Crossfit added as a surprise component for their latest competition. Along with that, Wolff encourages everyone who comes to the gym to participate in competitions - moms and college students alike.

After finishing my last set of burpees in Wolff's building, I walked through the large facility and out the open garage door on wobbly legs to get some fresh air. Two dogs on leashes didn't even raise their heads as I walked in circles, hands folded on top of my head under the fading light. None of what I had read before going to all of these boxes was false, but it certainly did look different put into the broader context of what Crossfit has to offer. Standing there, still sweating, I wished I could say for certain that Crossfit was either perfect or awful and just leave it at that. But the fact of the matter is that for some people it's all they ever wanted, for others it's far from it, and for the rest of us it's a take it or leave it affair.

One thing that I feel I can say with some definitiveness is that Chico's three boxes are staffed and run by people who are passionate about what they do, and very good at what they're passionate about. If you're looking to work off the Thanksgiving Turkey and get a head-start on your New-Year's resolution, you're in the right town to find out if Crossfit is the way you want to do it.


H ARIES The new moon in your ninth house sets the stage

for adventure and exotic experiences. Curiosity regarding

religion and philosophy is more likely to come about during this

period. Drunkeness, gluttony and gambling are the down side

to this moon. Helping others, learning valuable lessons, and

exploring new and unusual areas is the upside. You may

feel naturally lucky during this period. Mars moves into your

seventh house and will be there for several months. Don't expect

everyone to be happy with you. It will be hard for you not to tell

other people what to do.

LIBRA Don't sit on the sidelines being

indecisive. Make up your mind and follow through with great

passion. Mars enters Libra Saturday afternoon and will be

there for several months. It is time to get strong and to act

out independently. The new moon Monday is about having

a better relationship with your friends, siblings and peers. Enjoy

working with your hands more. Do things to promote a more

sustainable lifestyle. Tune in to the needs of your household

and to the elders in your family.

TAURUS Hold on and get hurt. Let go and let the chips fall where they may.

You are hungry for some late fall cuddling. You are dependent

more on other peoples decisions at this point. The good news is

that there are people willing to help you. Confrontations with

authority a re more likely to come about. You desire relationship

yet you can seem too needy to others. Work on being better

organized, get stronger through exercise and a good diet. Make

more of an effort to help others. The new moon requires that you

listen to your intuition and that you let go of expected outcomes.

SCORPIO Things have been way too serious for way too long now. Your values are being put to the test. It's been

a time of maturation and a time

of getting rid of unnecessary things. The new moon could

help you make money, put a new song on your lips, or even a smile

on your face. Discipline is an important step towards reaching

your goal. Mars moves into your twelfth house giving you more

energy for prayer and helping those that are isolated. Sunday

looks like a good day to regroup with your creative self.

GEMINI See the other side of yourself. I've heard it said that Gemini is a

combination of athletic prowess and intellectual curiosity. Be

more in your body and less into your head this week. Romance,

partnership, and contracts are emphasized by the new moon in

your seventh house. Mars moves into your house of creativity, love

affairs, and children on Saturday. Pay special attention to your

male children. Be more involved with artistic activity. Mercury in

your seventh house encourages you to make positive alliances.

SAGITTARIUS This week starts out powerfully

with the new moon in Sagittarius. You are ready to

take on new challenges. You are conscious of what you

need to do by Wednesday evening when mercury moves

into Sagittarius. Mars moves into your eleventh house this

weekend promoting dynamic friendships and a will to prepare

for the future. Honor your parents beliefs even if their way is not your style. The weekend

looks good for short trips and communicating with siblings

and friends. Your influence is strong. Have faith that you will

manifest what you need.

s CANCER The new moon is about getting healthy and staying that way. You

are what you eat. The closer to a natural diet you have the better off you' ll be. Sugar and wheat

can kill your immune system

during the cold season. Eat nothing sweeter than an orange

and include more vegetables and pasture raised animal products

in your diet. Help others as this is shown to improve the immune

system also. Sunday looks good for travel, study, and engaging in

riskier activities. You make your own good luck by being giving

without expecting anything in return.

CAPRICORN Part of being a good leader is

to be able to soften yourself to the needs ofothers. This is a period where it's best for you

to lay low and to work on your

spiritual life. The new moon highlights dreams, the pleasures

of the bed, and clandestine relationships. Pay off old debts,

forgive those that have wronged you, and help those that seem

isolated and without help. Venus in your first house helps you look

beautiful and gives you patience during difficult times. Get

enough sleep. The moon will be in Capricorn on Wednesday and

Thursday. Use these days to get what you need.

DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8, 2013 BY KOZ MCKEV LEO This is usually one of your favorite times of the year. Being

generous and giving is part of your nature. Making children

happy is one of your favorite things to do. The new moon

gives you an opportunity to be more playful, to enjoy love

more and to find a place for your creative talents to shine.

Mars moving into your third house implies you'll be dealing

with transportation issues. You tend to move around

from one place to another. The weekend will give you

more opportunities to express your love. Don't neglect your

spiritual life. You are getting strong messages that you must

act upon.

AQUARIUS This is an extremely social time of year for you. The new moon

will reveal to you who your real friends are. Sometimes it's more

who you know rather than what you know. You'll have to face

some karma due to who you've loved and what you've created.

The moon will be in Aquarius Friday and Saturday giving you

a chance to throw a party or to attend a desirable social

gathering. You may embark upon a long but dangerous journey beginning this weekend. Sunday

will help you put your values in perspective.

VIRGO Having a good memory is an asset to anyone claiming to

be intelligent. Your key phrase is, "I analyze." One that does

not learn from the past is condemned to repeat it in the

future. Most problems you face, your parents or grandparents

had to face in another form. Be grateful for the good things

your family has done for you. You hope to improve your self

image this week. The new moon is mostly about family

and where you live. In order to move forward successfully you

need to have a firm foundation. Wednesday and Thursday are

your best days for getting in

PISCES This is your time to shine. Let

your talents and skills be known. Responsibility looks good on

you this week. The new moon Monday may lead to a new job

or a new occupation. Be ready to be in the public eye more

often. Your libido revs up as mars enters your eighth house. Practice

patience. You cannot speed up or slow down the ways of the world.

Sunday the moon moves into Pisces. See this as an opportunity

to prepare for your game plan. Helpful female friends are around

you to help you prepare for the future. Accept the help that is

given to you.

Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 17 BCTV, 1s heard on 90/FM KZFR Ch!C:o, and also available by appOJntment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozm!C:kev@sunsetnet

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GREAT AUTUMN READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey

A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group.

In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe.

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DECEMBER 2 - DECEMBER 8, 201 3 SYNTHESIS WEEKLY. COM

Synthesis Weekly Dec. 2-8, 2013

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Transcript of Synthesis Weekly Dec. 2-8, 2013