Synthesis Weekly – January 5, 2015

JANUARY 5 2015 — FREE

views of the lost

OUTDOOR CARDIOMACHINES

Ellipticals, Steppers, Recumbent Bikes, Stationary Bikes, Cardio Walkers, etc.

OUTDOOR WEIGHT MACHINES

Chest Press, Lat Pull, Squats, Leg Press, Arms, Abs, Hammer Strength, etc.

PARKOUR ANDPARCOURSE STATIONS

13 Stations, Vaulting Walls, Warped Wall, Balance Posts, Rings, Running Track, etc.

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FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 3

This Week... Columns

by Bob [email protected]

Immaculate Infection

by Eli [email protected]

Productivity Wasted

by Logan Kruidenierlogankruidenier.tumblr.com

Supertime!

by Anthony Peyton PorterFrom The Edge

by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

January Art Report

by AnonymousUnsolicited Advice

By Sean GallowayGrave Concerns

by Koz [email protected]

Kozmik Debris

PAGES 7-11PAGE 4

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by Amy [email protected]

Letter From the Editor

Kyle Forrest Burns

by Zooey [email protected]

Letters to Desmond

Publisher/Managing Editor

Amy [email protected]

Creative DirectorTanner Ulsh

[email protected]

Entertainment EditorArielle Mullen

[email protected]/submit-your-

event/

Associate EditorEmiliano [email protected]

DesignersLiz Watters, Mike [email protected]

DeliveriesJennifer Foti

Contributing WritersZooey Mae, Bob Howard, Howl, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Eli Schwartz,

Mona Treme, Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff, Jon Williams, Sean Galloway

Alex O’Brien

PhotographyJessica Sid

Vincent Latham

NerdDain Sandoval

[email protected]

AccountingBen Kirby

Director of Operations Karen Potter

Owner Bill Fishkin

[email protected]

The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8

Productions and the Synthesis.The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email [email protected]. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your

submission for content and space.

For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions,

and change.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928

[email protected]

Volume 21 Issue 19January 5, 2015

4 SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015

by Amy [email protected]

Letter From the Editor

Dust and Cobwebs – Part TwoThe first day was the hardest. My dad and I stood in the living room, seeing it all with new eyes. It was incredible how we had ever ignored this mess. The volume of chaos loomed in every direction, tangles of sentiment and necessities and utter nonsense, unfathomable for the blurred boundaries... I couldn’t fix on where to start, how to make sense of it. How had it come to this? How could it be changeable when it had been here for so long? Where would I put things when the space was so full?

I love my dad, completely and sincerely and all my life, but the truth is I’ve always had a hard time connecting with him. Funny, that: loving someone so much in the mist of unspoken subtleties and small talk, never quite being comfortable enough to let the important words flow; being afraid of the emotions that might bubble up or of disrupting their place on the pedestal you’ve put them on, feeling so disconnected and helpless to change it. The tangle of sentiment and necessities and nonsense. But time is slipping away so quickly, I see that now.

We started small. I straightened bookshelves and boxed up her sewing. We talked about Mom and cried and apologized for crying. We walked through the house and surveyed the work that lay ahead, wondered how she could’ve seen this as not enough, and made plans to sort for donations and yard sales and garbage and recycling and keepsakes and records… We talked about how difficult it had been to sort the estates of his mom and eldest brother who he had lost over the two years before my mom died. He told me he

wants to prepare for his own death to spare us that. We looked at each other, and I nodded, choked on the bitter truth of it but felt grateful for his generosity. Death is cruel and we must welcome it, offer it a clean home and tea and a part in our conversations.

It was an increment of progress, a barely noticeable change that only underlined how immense this effort was going to be. But still, it was like peeking through a hole in a wall to a secret garden; there was anguish in glimpsing an as yet unreachable world, but the hope on the other side was enough to make going on feel vital.

The next time I came over we hung the pictures that had been stacked on the table and leaned against the hallway walls: Mom holding her first grandchild, Dad’s parents during the war, a portrait of my grandma... He had rearranged the living room a bit and decorated for Christmas; her chair finally shifted from the position it had held for so many years. We talked about happy times and holidays, and cried with a little less shame. I pulled open the blinds for the first time in ages and cleared some cobwebs from the window. The sun felt good in the room. We were moving forward, however gently.

PET OF THE WEEK

ElsaMy name is Elsa! If you are looking for a running partner or for an incredibly loyal dog, that’s me! I have no problem sitting on your lap - I guess I forget I’m not a small dog!

Now Hear This

Tanner

Haley

Becca

Becca

Al

Alie

Joey Bada$$ - “Curry Chicken

Lily Allen - “Who’d Have Known”

KBEZ Chicago - “Serial”

Schoolboy Q - “Man of the Year”

Wiz Kahlifa - “On My Level”

Bon Iver - “Skinny Love”

SYNTHESIS WEEKLY PLAYLIST

2580 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org

Joey Bada$$

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY On The Town


When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window. When God Closes a Window, He Opens a Beer. This is “God Time.” God’s Pups are Yappin’.

“So. You guys wanna hang out?”

No, I didn’t want to hang out. I wanted to be in a bed, in a Home, because I felt like I was 150 fucking years old, standing in the concrete yard of a disheveled student co-op in Santa Barbara, face to face with this large child in a denim jacket with no shirt underneath. I could see his eyes were starting to go wide, too, with glassy, dark, dinner plate pupils that heralded the arrival of the ecstasy in his bloodstream. Denim Jacket was going to have a great night.

This show was going to suck dick.

We had been on tour for the past week in Southern California, driving to and fro, to points far disparate, due to my perennially poor planning of every tour I’ve ever booked, and my white-hot burning love of sitting in traffic for as much of my life as possible. The drive from ten miles north of the Mexican border to Santa Barbara had been a breeze though, and by the time we arrived at what I quickly assessed was not a show, but a loose collection of about 50 extremely fucked up 20-year-olds, who had all—every single one of them—just ingested copious amounts MDMA, I was in high spirits. “Here’s something you may not know about me,” I gritted at my tour-mate, “I love driving in horrific, soul-rending traffic, and I love college parties where everyone is on drugs, because the music I play is known primarily for its Party Spirit.” Or, I would have said that to her, but her entire head and torso had suddenly been engulfed under the dress of a partier who had made the quick decision that my tour partner and she should share an intimate moment in the close confines of her blouse. She frantically emerged milliseconds later, wild-eyed, breathlessly excusing herself from the saucer-eyed girl. “I have my own clothes, thank you though!” she fumbled awkwardly, as she backed away.

This show was going to suck a Grocery Outlet bag full of cut-rate dicks well past their expiration date.

“Do you want me to, uh, introduce you when

By Sean GallowayGrave Concerns

you go on?” Denim Jacket sauntered up and breathed in my ear.

“Yeah, sure man. That sounds great.”

“Ok, cool. Who are you again?”

“Uh.”

“Actually, I have to tell you something, man.”

“Please do.”

“I am way too high to introduce you.”

“Great.”

By the time we played, the ecstasy was in full and perfect effect. The entire party swayed to every note as One, like a stand of willows billowing in the summer wind—that is to say, a stand of semi-college-aged willows billowing in the candy-sweet euphoric wind of shitty amphetamines. They were Feeling us So Hard. This show was actually not going to suck the aforementioned dicks, it seemed, and had in fact turned into a beautiful, drug-addled Love Fest, with us as its Guests of Honor. I’ve never been hugged that many times after a show in my life, or told how incredible and life-changing my music is. They loved us, you guys. Well, they loved everything, and we happened to be inside the Love Blast Radius. So anyway, I guess the moral here is that you never know how a show is going to go until you play, so suck it up and play your songs, sweetheart. The moral here is also that if everyone at your show is on ecstasy, they’ll probably be pretty into whatever you do. Like, REALLY into it.

So, you guys want to hang out?

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHYOn The Town


by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

No Resolution

The alone, the once-loved, the tired of it all. This one’s for you.

The ones who didn’t make champagne toasts. The ones who didn’t make resolutions, because “What’s the point? Already broken so many before.” You.

The ones who heard muted bass throbs, and sing-song laughter, and three two one through stucco walls. The ones who put their ears to the wall. The ones who didn’t. This one goes out to you.

The terminally ill, the mentally diseased, the unlucky. You.

The ones who thought if they could just turn their pain into art, then, maybe, maybe, it could be worth it. And the ones who realized there’s already a big sea of ignored art out there. That pain alone doesn’t make great art. The ungifted. The lazy. The undisciplined. The mediocre. The pretty good. Yeah, you.

The ones who thought if maybe, maybe, they could just change the world. The ones who finally know they never will.

The ones who realized only kindness matters. And knew that they were cruel.

The ones who see no way out.

The ones who know they deserve it. And the ones who do.

The gamblers, the addicts, the self-destroying. The ones who hate their bodies. The ugly souls. The soulless. The dreamless. The shattered. The imprisoned.

The ones in the drive-through, the ones in the express checkout line with Ben & Jerry’s.

The abandoned children. The abandoned mothers. And the men that left.

The ones who read, online, that a slug loaded into a small-gage shotgun was the most effective way. The ones who couldn’t do that to their mother.

Even you. Can I talk to you?

And if I could, what should I say? That it gets better? When that’s only partially true?

Or should I sit without speaking, by your side? So that you know you’re not alone?

But company only makes you feel lonelier, doesn’t it? That’s why you’re alone. To not feel that way. So I’ll leave you alone.

Still, this one’s for you.

sculpting in time


In this age of mass production and strip malls, the stark realism of Kyle Burns’ photography is a breath of fresh air. A heady current of melancholy and wistfulness runs through each image, with the embrace of decay and the promise of the passing of time. Originally from Magalia, California, Burns spent time in Fort Bragg following high school, which clearly helped to develop his strong aesthetic. Shooting primarily on film is something he believes has helped instill a greater sense of value in every frame captured. “If you’re paying to develop every frame, you really have to think whether you want to take each picture.” Burns’ work is slated to be featured in Visionarios Magazine, and can be seen at kyleforrestburns.com. For questions or commissions, Burns can be reached at

[email protected]

rock house jam

fault line

pulga haunt

blue fox drizzle


maize maze



butte creek pasture

the silverware has been compromised

cast out discourteously

sloughing

perplexed captain’s throne

the barn by the sea the wizard’s cabin graceless pygmy life in desiccation

Food &DrinkMONDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY


3 4 4 w e s t 8 t h S t | c h i c o , c a | 5 3 0 - 3 4 3 - 2 7 9 0

P L A Y T H E B L U E S O N T H U R S D A Y A T 5 P M

J A N U A R Y 1 0 T H - 1 2 T H

FOOTBALLDIVISION PLAYOFFS

WATCH THE GAMES HERE

WATCH THE SHARKS

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Wednesday 9pmDANCE NIGHTDJ SPENNY & JEFF HOWSE

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shirts 2 for $20 while supplies lastP L E A S E D R I N K R E S P O N S I B L Y (530) 343-7718 337 Main St

EAT. DRINK. PLAY.Find Out How you Can Play Pool

for Only $1/Day!

319 Main Street (530) 892-2473

LESSONS, LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS!

GREAT FOOD!

LIVE MUSIC!

Closed. We need to drink, too!

Closed Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm$3 Sierra & Domestic Pints 6PM - close$1 Off Pitchers$5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day

Daily Happy Hourfrom 4-7pmPBR $2.25 Everyday!

Open Mic Comedy Night Every Other Week! Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers$1.00 off PBR & Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

$6.99 Pulled pork sand w/ fries or saladWings 5 for $3 from halftime 'til they're gone!MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSEBEER $3.50/4.50/5.50/6.50FREE Pool after 10PM

Closed Go DownLo BEAR-E-OKEBURGER MADNESS!Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm.

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM

Happy Hour 11-6pmselect bottles & drafts $3

CLOSED 2 FOR 1 BURGERS ALL DAY !!MINORS WELCOME!

CLOSED Closed

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3

Closed $2.50 TUESDAY: Tacos, Corn Dogs, Fries or Tots, Chips & Salsa and Motzerells sticks only $2.50 ALL Day!Homemade Soup Daily$3 Sierra and Dom Pints$ 3.50 KamisALL DAY!

Daily Happy Hourfrom 4-7PMPBR $2.25 Everyday!

Two Dollar Tuesdays! $2 PBRs $2 Tacos! Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F$1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers$1.00 off PBR and Olympia CansPool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Chicken Strip Sand only $6.99 before 6 PMTWO BUCK TUESDAY 6-11pm$2 Rolling Rock, Olympia & Single Wells $2.50 PBR, Coors and Double wells

Closed Go DownLo BEAR WEAR!1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear.MUG CLUB 4-10PM


$2.50 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts$2 Kamis -any flavorAll Day

$3.50 Tea of the DayBartender SpecialsHappy Hour 4-8pm

Happy Hour 4 - 7pm

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!

Progressive Night:

8 - 10pm $1 Dom, Wells & Sierra Nevada Pale Ale10pm - Close:Up $0.25 per hour til closing

Closed

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3Live music 8-10

Closed WING WEDNESDAY!$2 for 3 Wings w/ drink purchase8pm-Close $4.50 Shooter of the Day$5.50 DBL Bacardi Cocktails $5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day

Daily Happy Hourfrom 4-7pm

Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Chicken Waffle Wed.! 8 ball Tourney 6pm sign-upHappy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Reuben Sand w/ fries or salad $6.99

8pm-Close Pitcher Specials $6.50/$9.50/$13FREE Pool after 10PM

WACKY WEDNESDAYS (8pm - close )DJ Party 4 different DJ’s$1 wells$2 calls$2 domestic bottles $6 pitchers of well drinks

Go DownLo TRIKE RACES!Post time @ 10pm.Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks.MUG CLUB 4-10PM


All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3 All Day

$3.50 Skyyy Vodka Cocktails$3.50 Tea of the DayBartender SpecialsHappy Hour 4-8pm

1/2 OFFEVERYTHING!!!

4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells$5 DBL CaptainBuck Night 8-Close$1 wells, SN Pale Ale, Rolling Rock, Dom Draft$3 Black Butte$4 Vodka Redbull

Closed

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Wander Food Truck on the Patio6pm

Closed Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm$3 Sierra & Domestic Pints $3.50 Soccer moms$6 Dbl Roaring VodkaHomemade Soup Daily$5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day


Open Thanksgiving Evening

Special Holiday Food & Drink Menu

Baby Back Ribs $11.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.99

6pm-Close $4.50 Grad teas$3.50 All beer pintsFREE Pool after 10PMCoors Light Promo6-8PM

Happy Hour 4 - 8pm Ladies Night!8pm - CLOSE$5 Pabst pitchers $2 shot board$4 Moscow Mules $3 Jamo and GingerBuck Hour 10:30 - 11:30

Early Bird Special9-10PM1/2 off wells

1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM

BURGER MADNESS!Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm.

MUG CLUB from4-10PM

Happy Hour 11-6pm$3 select bottles & drafts

$2.50 16oz WellsAll Day

9pm - Close$2 12oz Teas$3 20oz Teas$2 Well, Dom Bottles & bartender Specials$5 Vodka Red Bull

Happy Hour 4 -7pm

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!!

4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells$5 DBL Captain8pm - Close$4 151 Party punch 22oz.8 - 9pm $1 Pale Ale & Dom.Draft Up $0.25/ hr until close

Closed

Join us for Beers on our Patio Bar!Happy Hour from 4-6.

Open 9PMBartender Specials$3 14oz. Slushies$4 20oz. Slushies

Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm$3 Sierra & Dom PintsWeekend Blast Off!!8-close $6 Dom Draft & Jack or Jack Honey Shot

Homemade Soup Daily

Daily Happy Hourfrom 4-7PM

HAPPY HOUR 4-7PMBeer WeekGuinness cocktail specialsBeer coozie giveaway at back bar

Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @11am All ages untill 10pm

10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread $8.998pm-Close $4 Jäger $5.50 DBL Vodka Red Bull$2.50 Kamikaze shotsFREE Pool after 10PM

Happy Hour 4 - 8pm

FIREBALL FRIDAYS!!!8pm - Close$3 Fireball Shots$4 Big Teas$3 Coronas

Early Bird Special9-10pm1/2 off wells

LIVE MUSIC1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM


Select Pints $3 $3.50 Tea of the DayBartender SpecialsHappy Hour 4-8pm

Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5

Power Hour 8 - 9pm1/2 Off Liquor & Drafts(excludes pitchers)9PM - Close$3 Domestic Drafts$9.75 Pitchers$5 Dbl Sugar Island RumNO COVER

Open at 9pm

BOTTLE SERVICENow Available! Call for reservation 898-9898Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.

We open at 12:00pm.

Tacotruck.biz and Beers on the Patio!

Open 9pmBartender Specials$3 14oz. Slushies$4 20oz. Slushies

Open at 11am$4.50 Bloody Mary$5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody MarysNoon - 6PM$1 OFF SN & Dom Pitcher$5.50 DBL Bacardi Cocktails

Daily Happy Hourfrom 4-7pmFull Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.25 Everyday!


Baby Back Ribs w/Salad, Fries & garlic bread $11.998pm-Close$4 Single/$6 DoubleJack or Captain$3 Sierra Nevada PintsFREE Pool after 10pm

Opening at 8pm for80's NIGHT!!8 pm - CLOSE$4 Sauza Margaritas$3 Kamis$3 Shocktop & VIP pint


LIVE MUSIC1/2 OFF COVER before 10pm


$4 Sex On The Beach$4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP$1 Jello Shots7-10pm $3 Fireball


Hot "Dawgs" ALL DAY! Mon. - Sat. 4pm - 6pm$1 Dom. draft, $2 SN Draft and WellsPower Hour 8 - 9pm$3 Domestic Drafts$9.75 PitchersPatron Incendio Promo 10pm NO COVER

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!Call for New Yar’s Eve Reservations 898-9898

Open at 9pmLarge selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.

WE OPEN AT 12:00PMMIMOSAS WITH FRESH SQUEEZED OJ FOR $5 UNTIL 5PM.

CLOSED 10am -2pm$5 Bottles of Champagne with entree$4.50 Bloody Mary$5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys


Free Pool with Purchase!1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers$1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans

$5.49 Grad/Garden/ Turkey Burger w/fries or salad Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $5 Top, $6 Goose Mimosas $2/flute, $5/pint$6 CHEAP Beer PitchersFREE Pool after 10pm

KARAOKE "INDUSTRY NIGHT" 8 PM - CLOSEHALF OFF ALMOST EVERYTHING!(Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors)Specials All Day!

Go DownLo BURGER MADNESS!Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm.

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1am

$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka

Champagne Brunch11am - 2pm$4 Champagne with entree

Champagne Brunchand SPORTS!

CLOSED CLOSED


191 E. 2ND ST • 898-0630

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

no cover friday & sat9 - c l o s e s u g a r i s l a n d r u m $ 5 d b l .

NEW THIS WEEK...TUESDAY$1 WELLS, DRAFTS, DOM. & SIERRA NEVADA 8-10PMPROGRESSIVE 10-2AMUP 25¢ PER HR. UNTIL CLOSE

$1

$3$4

WELLS/ROLLING ROCK, PALE ALE & DOM.

BUTTE PORTERVODKA REDBULL

$1

$4

PALE ALE & DOM.UP 25¢ PER HR. 8PM-CLOSE

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134 Broadway St, Chico, CA | 530.893.5253

WATCH ALL

SATURDAY & SUNDAY

THE GAMES

DIVISIONPLAYOFFSHOCKEY & BASKETBALL

Closed. We need to drink, too!

Closed Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm$3 Sierra & Domestic Pints 6PM - close$1 Off Pitchers$5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day


Open Mic Comedy Night Every Other Week! Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers$1.00 off PBR & Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

$6.99 Pulled pork sand w/ fries or saladWings 5 for $3 from halftime 'til they're gone!MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSEBEER $3.50/4.50/5.50/6.50FREE Pool after 10PM

Closed Go DownLo BEAR-E-OKEBURGER MADNESS!Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm.


Happy Hour 11-6pmselect bottles & drafts $3

CLOSED 2 FOR 1 BURGERS ALL DAY !!MINORS WELCOME!

CLOSED Closed

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3

Closed $2.50 TUESDAY: Tacos, Corn Dogs, Fries or Tots, Chips & Salsa and Motzerells sticks only $2.50 ALL Day!Homemade Soup Daily$3 Sierra and Dom Pints$ 3.50 KamisALL DAY!

Daily Happy Hourfrom 4-7PMPBR $2.25 Everyday!

Two Dollar Tuesdays! $2 PBRs $2 Tacos! Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F$1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers$1.00 off PBR and Olympia CansPool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Chicken Strip Sand only $6.99 before 6 PMTWO BUCK TUESDAY 6-11pm$2 Rolling Rock, Olympia & Single Wells $2.50 PBR, Coors and Double wells

Closed Go DownLo BEAR WEAR!1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear.MUG CLUB 4-10PM


$2.50 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts$2 Kamis -any flavorAll Day


Happy Hour 4 - 7pm

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!

Progressive Night:

8 - 10pm $1 Dom, Wells & Sierra Nevada Pale Ale10pm - Close:Up $0.25 per hour til closing

Closed

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3Live music 8-10

Closed WING WEDNESDAY!$2 for 3 Wings w/ drink purchase8pm-Close $4.50 Shooter of the Day$5.50 DBL Bacardi Cocktails $5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day

Daily Happy Hourfrom 4-7pm

Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Chicken Waffle Wed.! 8 ball Tourney 6pm sign-upHappy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Reuben Sand w/ fries or salad $6.99

8pm-Close Pitcher Specials $6.50/$9.50/$13FREE Pool after 10PM

WACKY WEDNESDAYS (8pm - close )DJ Party 4 different DJ’s$1 wells$2 calls$2 domestic bottles $6 pitchers of well drinks

Go DownLo TRIKE RACES!Post time @ 10pm.Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks.MUG CLUB 4-10PM


All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3 All Day

$3.50 Skyyy Vodka Cocktails$3.50 Tea of the DayBartender SpecialsHappy Hour 4-8pm

1/2 OFFEVERYTHING!!!

4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells$5 DBL CaptainBuck Night 8-Close$1 wells, SN Pale Ale, Rolling Rock, Dom Draft$3 Black Butte$4 Vodka Redbull

Closed

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Wander Food Truck on the Patio6pm

Closed Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm$3 Sierra & Domestic Pints $3.50 Soccer moms$6 Dbl Roaring VodkaHomemade Soup Daily$5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day


Open Thanksgiving Evening

Special Holiday Food & Drink Menu

Baby Back Ribs $11.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.99

6pm-Close $4.50 Grad teas$3.50 All beer pintsFREE Pool after 10PMCoors Light Promo6-8PM

Happy Hour 4 - 8pm Ladies Night!8pm - CLOSE$5 Pabst pitchers $2 shot board$4 Moscow Mules $3 Jamo and GingerBuck Hour 10:30 - 11:30

Early Bird Special9-10PM1/2 off wells

1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM

BURGER MADNESS!Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. 11am-10pm.

MUG CLUB from4-10PM

Happy Hour 11-6pm$3 select bottles & drafts

$2.50 16oz WellsAll Day

9pm - Close$2 12oz Teas$3 20oz Teas$2 Well, Dom Bottles & bartender Specials$5 Vodka Red Bull

Happy Hour 4 -7pm

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!!

4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells$5 DBL Captain8pm - Close$4 151 Party punch 22oz.8 - 9pm $1 Pale Ale & Dom.Draft Up $0.25/ hr until close

Closed

Join us for Beers on our Patio Bar!Happy Hour from 4-6.

Open 9PMBartender Specials$3 14oz. Slushies$4 20oz. Slushies

Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm$3 Sierra & Dom PintsWeekend Blast Off!!8-close $6 Dom Draft & Jack or Jack Honey Shot

Homemade Soup Daily

Daily Happy Hourfrom 4-7PM

HAPPY HOUR 4-7PMBeer WeekGuinness cocktail specialsBeer coozie giveaway at back bar


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FIREBALL FRIDAYS!!!8pm - Close$3 Fireball Shots$4 Big Teas$3 Coronas


LIVE MUSIC1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM


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KARAOKE "INDUSTRY NIGHT" 8 PM - CLOSEHALF OFF ALMOST EVERYTHING!(Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors)Specials All Day!

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DEAD WINTER CARPENTERS

LATIN DANCE NIGHT

TRIVIA NIGHT

FURLOUGH FRIDAYS, BANDMASTER RUCKUS, BULL MOOSE PARTY

SIERRA NEVADA BIG ROOM Come prove your patriotic worth by absorbing some Americana through your ear-holes, and some Chico-brewed beer through your mouth hole. Alt-Country-Ameri-cana on a Tuesday night, what could be better? For real though, it’s Tuesday, what the heck else are you going to do? Stay at home with your cat and your crippling loneliness? No way, dude. Sierra Nevada Big Room, all ages, $15.

PITA PITFeeling caliente? Shake your sillies out in the spiciest fashion with the Chico Salsa Connection. If there’s anything we learned in 2014, it’s that nothing can go wrong when you pair lots of food with vigorous dancing, so eat up. If nothing else you can have a few Lime-a-Ritas before heading over and yelling the lyrics to Harry Belafonte’s classic “Jump In The Line” through the glass. All ages, 8pm, free.

WOODSTOCKS PIZZAForce your mental inferiors to cower at your feet as you triumphantly bask in the glory of victory on Trivia Night. Make them rue the day they ever asserted falsehoods with any modicum of confidence. Drink the sweet nectar of the Gods and/or Budweiser, and feast on pizza (food of the Gods), whilst you strike fear into those hearts who might seek to challenge your throne of Trivia. All ages. 8pm.

THE MALTESEWell kids, a storm is upon us. And this weekend is one of the last you’ll get before it hits. The storm I speak of? Thousands of students, flooding back into town, crowding your favorite bars, restaurants, and downtown hangouts. Soak it up before it’s too late. We suggest attending this show at Maltese to do just that. Godspeed to us all. Winter is coming. 21+, 9pm.

Tuesday, January 6th

Friday, January 9th

Wednesday, January 7th

Saturday, January 10th

This week at...

Upcoming shows...

DOORS OPEN AT 9PM | HALF OFF DRINKS BEFORE 10PM | PRESALE NYE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE DOWNLO

CON BRIO SAVING ABELNEW MASTERSOUNDS + GRAVY BRAIN

9JAN

18JAN

27JAN


5 Monday 100th Monkey: Healing Light Meditation, 7pm-8:15pmThe Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pmChico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pmChico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pmDownLo: Open Mic Comedy Night. Free.Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until 10pmMaltese: Open Mic Music, Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pmThe Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes. Free, 7-9pmUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pmYoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. Emiliano (no relation). Breathwork, Meditation, Healing.

6 Tuesday 100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/class or $32/month. 6pmThe Bear: Open Jam Night, featuring a different live band opening each week. Bring instruments, 9pm-1:30amChico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pmChico Women’s Club: Yoga. 9-10am. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Kara-oke. 21+DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pmHoliday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm LaSalles: ’90s night. 21+Panama Bar: Tropical Tuesdays ft. Mack Morris & DJ2K. 10pmStudio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm-1amThe Tackle Box: Line Dance Lessons, 6:30pm-7:30pm. Karaoke, 9pm-1am, 21+University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pmWoodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

7 Wednesday The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pmChico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pm

Chico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz. 8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pmDuffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny, Lois, and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pmFarm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Carey Robinson and Friends. 6pm-8pmThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pmThe Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-1amThe Tackle Box: Swing Dance classes. Free, 5:30-7:30pm. Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:30-9:30pm. Open Mic, 9:30pm-12amUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pmWoodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

8 Thursday The Beach: Live DJ, no cover, 9pmChico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pmDownLo: Live Jazz. 8-11pm. All ages until 10pmThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pmHas Beans Downtown: Open Mic Night. 7-10pm. Signups start at 6pmHoliday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8pm-mid-nightLaSalles: Free live music on the patio. 6-9pmMaltese: Karaoke. 9pm-closePanama Bar: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & guests on the patio. 9pmPleasant Valley Rec Center: CARD World Dance Classes. 6-7pm/youth 10-17, 7-8:30pm/adults. $20/4classesQuackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-1amTackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Andy. 9pm-1am, 21+University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pmWoodstocks: Open Mic NightYoga Center Of Chico: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:30-9:30pm

9 Friday The Beach: Live DJ, 9pmCafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with

Bogg, happy hour. 10am-2pmChico Art Center: Salon d’Art, a holiday sale by local artists. 10am-4pmChico Creek Dance Center: Chico international folk dance club. 7:30pm, $2DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Live Music, 8pmDuffys: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pmThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pmHoliday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pm-midnightLaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. 6-9pmMaltese: Happy hour with live jazz by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pmPanama Bar: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pmPeeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $1-$5. 9:30pmTackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Andy. 9pm-1am, 21+Quackers: Live DJ. 9pmSultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pmUniversity Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

10 Saturday The Beach: Live DJ, 9pmDownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pmThe Graduate: Free Pool after 10pmHoliday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. The Molly Gunn’s Revival! 8pm-midnightLaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-closePanama Bar: DJ Eclectic on the patio. 9pmTackle Box: Karaoke. 8:30pm-midnight, 21+University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

11 Sunday Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8-$15 sliding scale. 10am-12:30pmDownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pmLaSalles: Karaoke. 9pmMaltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm.Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm

Ongoing Events:Featured Events:

5 Monday Anyplace, Chico, CA: Not shit to do, 8pm, all ages, free. Maybe check out the Ongoing Events calendar? Healing Light Medita-tion, what the hell is that?Your House, Chico, CA: “Well, fuck...I dunno... wanna rent a movie or something?” $3 (plus $12 in late fees), all ages, rated PG-XXX

6 Tuesday Bidwell Presbyterian Church: Accepting Applications—New Habitat Home. 6-8pm, 18+Sierra Nevada Big Room: Dead Winter Carpenters. 7:30pm, all ages, $15

7 Wednesday Anyplace, Chico, CA: Not shit to do, all day long, all ages includ-ing the unborn and ghosts, free (are you really “free” if you don’t have any choices?). Well, I guess there’s Duffy’s Dance Night later, or Trivia Night at Woodstocks, or some other weekly shit in the Ongoing calendar. I guess that could be OK.NY, NY: Loooots of shit to do. Rent veeeery expensive.Beaches of Southern Thailand, where cousin Steve is currently vacationing: Stunning stretches of fine white sand, aquamarine water the temperature of a baby’s bath, $3 massages, warm sun, those coctails with the um-brellas in them, prolly like $4000 or something, but if you make as much as Steve does I guess that’s just like a drop in the bucket, all ages, not-gunna-happen-o’clock

8 Thursday Anyplace, Chico, CA: Maybe take a walk or something? I hear it’s good for you. 7:32pm, all ages, freeYour House, Chico, CA: “Well...fuck...have you every played

Cards Against Humanity? OK, well do you have any ideas? I mean, why do I always have to come up with everything?”

9 Friday 1078 Gallery: Jimmy Grant En-semble. 7:30pm, all ages, $10Lost On Main: Con Brio. 9pm Maltese: Supernaut, Aces Over Jacks, more TBA. 9pm, 21+The Pita Pit: Latin Dance Night. 8pm-11pm, all ages, freeThe Tackle Box: All Fired Up!

10 Saturday Maltese: Furlough Fridays, Band-Master Ruckus, Bull Moose Party. 9pm, 21+ The Tackle Box: Cherry Road Gang.

11 Sunday Anyplace, Chico, CA: Drive around aimlessly, taking great pains to slow down and stare at anything remotely unusual, perhaps snapping a few pictures or taking a moment to text a friend about it. Pay no mind to the irritated drivers honking and revving their engines behind you, this is your time, enjoy it.Your House, Chico, CA: “I’m not religious or anything, but you wanna go to Church or some-thing, brah? It’s that or these infomercials.” 3pm, $4 in guilty donations, all ages.

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SIDOn The Town16 SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JANUARY 5 2015


Same as it Never Was

Congratulations are in Order

If you are reading this then I say to you “congratulations!” We’ve made it through another one. That may not mean so much to you youngsters, but for those of us getting on up there in years this is no small feat, and nothing to take for granted.

Nostalgia

A lot of us old-timers will try and tell you that things were better “back then.” Well of course things were better for us back then—we were young, mentally acute, better looking than we are now. We were going out, seeing shows, and getting laid. Then we age, the body breaks down in some places and expands uncontrollably in others. Our skin sags and our looks fade. We look back and remember our youth with tremendous fondness—of course always emphasizing the good times and omitting the petty dramas and periods of immense boredom. That’s what nostalgia is: a pair of rose tinted glasses that we turn on the past. Same as it never was.

Right now, right this very second, is absolutely the best time to be alive. Don’t let anybody tell you any differently.

Greenhouse Skinning

The plunging mercury afforded as good an impetus as any to reskin our small greenhouse, and I’ve been spending the last few days peeling off the old degraded plastic and stapling up newer, more intact material. We store dwarf lemon trees in there over the winter—the fruit can’t handle a hard freeze. The greenhouse, although unheated, keeps in just enough heat to prevent the freeze from damaging the lemons.

There are a few plants you can successfully sow during the colder winter months. I’ve

got a couple raised beds of onions and garlic just started out in the garden. I had to utilize the raised beds because of gophers, who apparently can’t get enough of the sweet onions I plant. In the past those pesky rodents have absolutely decimated my onion crops. Some gardeners will tell you garlic wards off gophers, but I haven’t found this to be the case. As far as I can tell almost nothing wards off gophers. The cats help a little bit.

Confessions of a Wannabe Vegan

I’m inclined to sympathize with the vegan philosophy—the idea that animals should not be harmed for the purposes of conveniencing human-kind. But I am also a big fan of fly strips, gophers can take a flying leap, and I once ran over a raccoon in my old Ford Escort station wagon while driving down Road Z in the middle of the night, and I didn’t feel an ounce of remorse about it.

RoundUp Ready!

I’m reading a report linking the use of Glyphosate herbicides, like RoundUp, with rising rates of autism. When I look out my window I see my neighbor spraying RoundUp on his rocks. I don’t know if RoundUp causes autism or not—a lot of these “natural medicine” websites have a strong tendency to merge fact and fiction—but I know spraying RoundUp on your rocks won’t stop weed growth. Glyphosate herbicides work by stopping photosynthesis, meaning you have to spray it on the plants leaves for it to work effectively. There are non-chemical “pre-emergents” that can be used to keep weed seeds from germinating.

RIGHT NOW, RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, IS ABSOLUTELY THE BEST TIME TO BE ALIVE. ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU OTHERWISE IS DELUDED OR LYING.

by Bob [email protected]

Immaculate Infection

Lisa

I spotted Lisa randomly, the day it came out, and was intrigued enough to try it. I had never heard of it prior, or its Kickstarter, and a more thorough search has revealed little coverage or evidence it exists. I did not expect a quirky little RPG, inspired by the 1994 Japanese classic Earthbound, to be much more than a few laughs and some grinding. All the same, my curiosity was piqued by this strange game, and I purchased it. I’m very glad I did.

Lisa is set in a bizarre post-apocalyptic world, where reality has softened a bit, strange creatures roam the earth, drug addiction is rampant, and most bizarrely of all: there are no women. The sweat and testosterone soaked landscape is often played for laughs, with crews of grunting bodybuilders wearing spiked football pads, dirty magazines for currency, and mid-life crises, yet a great many of the surviving men are really just losers. Hilarious, sad, losers.

The game itself is often a question of learning to lose the right way. The party is constantly tricked, assaulted, poisoned, or just generally screwed over. Party members can (easily) die permanently, often leaving the group underpowered and underleveled, spending all your money on healing items that barely help. I suggest you remember to save. Lisa’s creator, a professional martial artist, called his game “The Painful RPG.” It is exactly that.

Its turn-based JRPG-style battles are classic and yet unconventional, with radically different party members and moves like “Puke” and “Drink,” and status conditions like “Depressed” and “Weird.” Most of its NPCs are bizarre, hilarious, and expendable, yet the core characters are fraught with emotion, perhaps none more so than the long-

suffering, stoic protagonist, whose journey is hounded by enemies, monsters, and horrific hallucinations.

Lisa treads a very fine line between hilarity, horror, and sheer emotional pain. Let me ask you: is a giant mutant trapped inside a mascot costume, spewing blood and dancing around, hilarious or horrifying? Is a party member whose attacks consist of drunkenly falling over and crying hilarious, or sad? Is being a failure funny, or is it the most terrifying thing you can think of?

For all its butt jokes, flesh monsters, and silly companions, Lisa has a very real emotional impact to it, and as I went deeper into the game, I became progressively more uncomfortable, increasingly wishing I could stop playing so I wouldn’t have to see what happens next. I mean this, of course, in the best way possible. Lisa is an almost emotionally abusive game, forcing us to look and play a story unfolding that grows darker and more difficult with every step.

Although it came out at the very end of the year, Lisa is one my favorite games of 2014. It’s not very long, but it’s not very easy, either. It is a substantial and dark game, filled with laughter and sadness. I recommend it thoroughly to anyone who plays RPGs regularly, and recommend it cautiously to those who don’t, as it’s not an easy or painless experience. The pain and the humor are proof that it’s a real winner.

THE PAINFUL RPG

by Eli [email protected]

Productivity Wasted


The year 2015 will mark eight years since I first started at Synthesis Weekly. With a column each week, that means I’ve written 416 columns. At 500 words a pop, that’s about 208,000 words I’ve written (not including any features, reviews or scene reports). Hot damn that’s a lot of drivel. High points include interviewing Nicole J. Georges (author of Calling Dr. Laura), being in a (total and utter bullshit) war of words with the author of the blog Has Boobs, Reads Comics over her dumb blog name, and (as a result of fixing a glitch in the Synthesis server), finding some nice emails from readers who haven’t yet been put off by my constant need to complain. Low points include anytime I’m banging my head against a wall at a loss for what to write for the week, and being involved in a (total and utter bullshit) war of words with the author of the blog Has Boobs, Reads Comics over her dumb blog name. [On further reflection from that incident, I stand by my assertions that that blog title does more to needlessly separate genders within the comic book reading community than anything else, but I wish I’d explained that more eloquently at the time, and that I’d known she was in a wheelchair before saying I wanted to punch her boob]. It’s not what I would name a blog, but who cares. If everything was created with me in mind, things would be a lot more unvaried. (“Pony” by Ginuwine would play on the radio on a loop, and dogs would be genetically modified to stay in puppy-form forever).

For the year to come, my hopes are high. If all goes well, I’ll graduate in May, finally fulfilling the rite of passage one usually accomplishes at a much younger age. I then plan on trying to accumulate enough money to relocate out of Chico, where you guys will finally, finally be rid of me! Until then, I look forward to continuing to treat this column like my weekly diary, where I wax lyrical about the mystery of the dog shit that continues to replicate outside my door every single day, and my ever-growing list of things I’m allergic to. Life is a highway, and I’m gonna ride it all night long, because I can’t sleep, and I think I’m allergic to the fabric content in this pillowcase. Please pass the Benadryl.

All-in-all, 2014 was a good year. If I may get a little metaphorical for a moment, the positive occurrences in 2014 were a lot like that dog shit outside my door. Just when I thought I had the patterns figured out, life threw me a curveball-left-of-the-doormat shit pile, and I stepped right in it. Thankfully though, a solution is never more than a hop, skip, and a hose away. You know what? I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. I think 416 columns might be my limit. I’m hitting a wall. Namaste, you guys. Crappy New Year.

Crappy New Year: Please Pass The Benadryl

by Zooey [email protected]

Letters to Desmond


Welcome to Unsolicited Advice, an open column space for anyone who wants to tell someone, or everyone, what’s what. Submit your 500 words to [email protected]

Here lies the forthright words of an ex barista.

No Foam

Oh those dreaded, fateful words. I can already tell just by those two words what you shall say next, “nonfat” perhaps, “I hate you” perhaps. Oh yes, “of course we can”, I say gritting my teeth into an artificial smile. If only you knew that foam is a beautiful thing, and that no, I cannot avoid creating it while steaming your 185° organic soy milk with whipped cream. *le sigh

Extra Caramel

The two words that create an unstoppable twitching under my sleep-laden eye. Oh yes, let me pour that sugar coma into your cup and add some diabetes. As I pour this caramel I feel the shooting pains of developing carpal tunnel. Oh yes, let me give you extra, extra. And I will smile at you with dismay as you stare at your iPhone vacantly ignoring me while I call your name. Only to ask five seconds later, “Is this my drink?”

Pour Over

“Oh dear lord, what did you just say?” I think to myself as I look at you like a scared animal. No, oh this cannot be. “If you wanted campfire coffee with an 85 percent chance of grounds why don’t you just go to 711,” I mutter with a

smile.

Black Coffee

Thou art a breath of fresh air filled with the light scent of rain and fallen leaves, I won’t even charge you for a refill. You want an add shot? I probably won’t charge you for that either.

Cappuccino

Oh, you delicate soul you. Would you like me to pour the creamy foam of the gods into your caramelly sultry espresso shots? Oh, I will steam that milk to a perfect ratio of foam and even pull your shots ristretto for this. For here cup you say? Reading Bukowski? My number’s on the sleeve.

Soy Chai

You hippie you, I know how you like it. No water with some thick foam. Add shot? Oh yeah you are a dirty hippie. “I like your crystal necklace,” I tell you pretty genuinely. Aahh, real smiles are to die for. “That’s why I love this job,” I think to myself as I take your 100 dollar bill that I don’t have the change for.

With these final words remember, only by tipping will you be forgiven for your ridiculous beverage.

By the time you read this, Stories Three at the 1078 will be over. Too bad, because the 1078 always has the most interesting, cutting edge shows in Chico. As a handout for the show stated, “Stories One (December 2012) brought together five artists for a group show at the 1078… Stories Two (December 2013) brought together five different artists… For Stories Three, the 1078 reunites the artists from One… [The artists] were given this prompt… Choose three different days in 2014 to document with text and images...” The resulting art varied widely and, sometimes, didn’t seem to closely reflect the prompt given. The artists featured were Ellen Akimoto, Haley Hughes, Trevor Lalaguna, Sienna Orlando Lalaguna and Brad Thiele. The show opened on December 4 and closed on January 3.

The artists talked a bit about their lives and circumstances in a tangential booklet that accompanied the show. For instance, the Lalagunas talked about their adorable baby (and he is). Sienna Orlando Lalaguna presented a group of ceramics which were well-made and whimsical. A selection of some of her work was displayed on a shelf, pieces that were roughly pear-shaped and bore the titles, “The Folkin,” “The Rise,” “The Vested,” “The Traveler,” and “The Miner.” Trevor Lalaguna’s works in the show consisted of a small installation and 18 ink on paper drawings which, on the surface, seemed cartoonish, but were actually quite thought provoking on closer inspection. “Face Off” depicted a man without a face standing in front of a bathroom mirror. He has no face and, therefore, no expression, but he does seem to be holding his head in anguish.

I try to be extremely open-minded and I’m not easily shocked, but I found myself offended at one of Haley Hughes works, an oil titled “Woman, Panther, Pilates Ball.” The colors, the technique, the image—everything in this work, which showed a woman being raped by a large black cat—was unpleasantly raw. “Paradise,” another oil by Hughes, a landscape, featured soft colors and flowing

shapes to create an otherworldly scene of hills with a stream flowing thickly through the center, spreading at the bottom like something seminal.

When I knew Brad Thiele he was always slightly irreverent. He now lives in New York City, and he’s kept his puckish sense of humor. His art now concentrates on the printed word which was clearly seen in the seven inkjet prints he presented in the show 344 times, “...where every instance of ‘New York’ and its abbreviation ‘NY’ is cut out from a single Monday edition of the New York Times and taped-down in order of appearance totaling 344.” Ken Morrow told us “girls” once in one of his classes that, “...women like to do things the hard way…” when one of our number was meticulously painting small flowers on a female figure’s skirt. Maybe things have been reversed over the years. Ellen Akimoto’s 14 prints and drawings were gentle, serene and elusive. An acrylic on woodcut print “Table in this Room,” like many of her others, is fraught with stillness and a strange sort of tension. What has happened in this room where the table is, or what may happen soon? Her silent, empty rooms remind me somewhat of Giorgio de Chirico’s deserted, shadowed streets.

A couple of shows that will be open for a few more days are holiday shows at the Chico Art Center and Avenue 9. Fond Farewell and Holiday Show at Avenue 9 will be in place until January 10 and features art by a number of artists who have displayed work at the gallery throughout the years of its existence. The artwork, handmade clothing and jewelry is all on sale. This is their next to last show. The gallery is located at 180 E. 9th Ave. and is open 12pm to 5pm Wednesday through Saturday. Salon d’ Art at the Art Center has original art by a variety of artists plus clothing, jewelry, and small household furnishings. This show will be open until January 9. The Center is open daily 12pm to 4pm and is at 450 Orange St.

The Song of a Green Apron

January Art Report

by Americano GrandeUnsolicited Advice

BY MICHELE [email protected]


by logan kruidenierlogankruidenier.tumblr.com

Lotus Land, written by local writer William Wong Foey

Local writer William Wong Foey author of best selling novel: Winter Melon releases his new book Lotus Land, a short story collection of bold and amazing stories of desire, despair, courage, and redemption. Available at Lyon’s Book Store at 135 Main (Chico) and in paperback & e-book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, & Direct Music Cafe.

A special thanks to all the people who purchased my debut novel: Winter Melon.

GREAT SHORT STORIES

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Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail [email protected]

The week begins with the emo-tionally potent remnants of the full moon in your fourth house. Venus, Mercury, and Mars in the eleventh house are activating your social life. You enjoy being in groups more than usual. You have some of your best ideas at the workplace. You may even find yourself in the public eye a little more often. From Tuesday through Thursday morning creative energy, self expression and having fun feel more like the order of the day. The week-end looks good for charitable causes, working out, as well as negotiations and romance.

Your domestic life and your foundation are in focus this week. Parents, Grandparents, and ancestors all play a part. Where you have been deter-mines where you are going, to some extent. Your starting point to relating more to oth-ers is here. Love affairs could be part of this cycle, with Venus transiting your fifth house. You’ll be using your imagination to come up with more creative ideas. Seek guidance and go with the most intelligent ideas. It’s probably best to lay low over the weekend. Catch up on your sleep.

Condemnation is easier than investigation. Get to know a sub-ject or a person before passing judgment. This is your time to ask questions and to dig deeper. Explore unknown territory. Take the high road when dealing with people less fortunate than you. From late afternoon Thursday through Saturday the moon will be in your fifth house of creative expression and play. You are luckier than usual during this period. Open your heart and indulge in the things that mat-ter most to you. Sunday is good for working out, helping others, and improving your health.

This week has you performing and socializing. The possibility of travel is also in the forecast. This is a good time to focus on siblings, long time friends, and neighbors. Be a better com-municator. Love where you live and live where you love. Work on career plans. Take action on issues that involve your family. Be ready to inspire others. Seek intelligent solutions to everyday problems. Monday stands to be your luckiest day this week. The weekend looks good for meet-ing new people, as well as for making plans for the future.

Appreciate the things that other people do for you. Let go of wish-ing that so and so would behave differently. Sometimes you end up needing help. Don’t be too proud. Let go and let some sense of love take over. Having Mercury, Mars, and Venus in your ninth house makes you luckier than usual. Your best day for creative pursuits is likely to be Sunday. The mysteries of life, death, and sex lay at your feet. It can be wise to acknowledge danger. Be present with the task of creating solutions, as well as being open to other people’s solutions.

This time of year is mostly a test of your values. There are new opportunities for you to make money and increase your income. You might even be more obsessed with food than usual. You are likely to be curious about new recipes and seasonings. You become more of a chatterbox as Mercury and Venus transit your third house. You are curious about all kinds of information coming out. Tuesday through Thursday afternoon is good for travel and learning advanced subjects. The weekend looks good for display-ing your talents and skills.

Monday begins strong with the moon in your first house. The after-effects of the full moon are felt strongly by you. During Tuesday through early Thursday it’s about values, possessions and your own sense of secu-rity. Thursday evening through Saturday is good for gather-ing information and hanging out with friends. Sunday is your go-to day for hanging out at home or being with fam-ily. There is an overtone of romance, contracts and agree-ments throughout the week. You are learning to be more dip-lomatic. Harmony is achieved with little effort.

Up your skills. Take whatever it is that you do to the next level. This is a time to focus on your career and ways to improve it. Money is coming in. Be practical with your resources. Be smart with your possessions. The beginning of the week is good for romance and negotiations. The weekend looks good for travel. This is also a good time for risk-taking. You act out con-sciously and independently. It’s time to blaze a trail that hasn’t been blazed before. Sunday may contain some news con-cerning your career and public life.

When the pressure is on it helps to take a deep breath. You’ll be pacing yourself, getting orga-nized, and working on being healthy. The moon will be in Leo Tuesday through early afternoon Thursday. Make good karma by helping others. A bit of romance could be in the pic-ture. In general, you can be more open to love and partnership. The weekend presents some money making opportunities. The good fortune of Jupiter is still with you. Take the higher road and the enlightened path. Creative projects worth taking on deserve your commitment.

A few planets are gathered in your first house. Mars, Mercury, and Venus are pumping up the Aquarian vibe. Your ability to take action, be loving and creative, as well as demon-strate intellectual capabilities is enhanced. This is a time of karma and secrets. Pay atten-tion to your dreams and to the messages that they contain. Help those who are isolated, especially those in rest homes and prisons. Over the weekend your psychic feelers will be acti-vated. Sunday has you thinking about gratitude and higher prin-ciples for living.

A healthy self love leads to a love of others. Your services are needed, and you perform them so well. Put your heart into what you do and the rest will follow. The most conscious time for you is while the moon is in Virgo, from 2:58pm Thursday through Saturday. A great earth con-sciousness is in the air during this time. Be creative. Put more energy into things that give you joy. Sunday looks good for making money and testing your values. Stay focused on love, playfulness, and the ability to express yourself in a creative way.

Not everyone is on the same page with you. This is fine, since you know who your real friends are these days. You are good at gathering people together. Continue to work toward per-fecting your services. Monday will carry over the full moon vibe of creativity and love. Tuesday through Thursday afternoon you’ll be focused on work, charitable causes and health issues. The weekend looks good for romance, contracts and diplomacy. Learn to find good qualities in people who you may have differences with. Getting along requires work.

January 5, 2015 By Koz McKev

Aries

Libra

Taurus

Scorpio

Gemini

Sagittarius

Cancer

Capricorn

Leo

Aquarius

Virgo

Pisces


by Anthony Peyton [email protected]

From The Edge

ChristmasI spent Christmas with my son’s lover’s parents, good people I’d seen a couple of times before and didn’t know well. It was my first Christmas celebration since Janice died. The first two Christmases were just two days. I had heard that when one loses a spouse the holidays are especially hard to take, but they hadn’t been for me. I couldn’t deny her not being here to celebrate; I could deny the celebration, though, so I did.

I hardly knew Jim and Cam, but I had a feeling that their house was bound to be Christmassy, and boy, was it ever. Christmas was everywhere, from the lighted candy canes on the driveway gate and the little Christmas tchotchkes pretty much all over, to the actually creepy zombie Santa on the porch.

I had a good time, mostly. Deanne, Jim’s sister, and her husband, Paul, were there, and old siblings are always interesting to me, not being one myself.

I’m mostly used to being by myself, living lonely if not actually alone. I’m used to going places by myself—to the Co-op or the Post Office or the Pageant—and I thought I’d be fine. I can do odd-man-out like a champ.

I never thought about not having done Christmas without her, though. I knew I’d done it before, only Christmas in my room watching YouTube is a far cry from Christmas in the midst of a goddamn bunch of warm, loving, good-hearted pairs of mated humans. I was the only freelancer, other than a cat and four dogs.

They did that thing that Janice’s family had done, and so the Porters did too, where everybody sits around and opens their presents together. I had brought something

for the house—my mother would be proud—but I hadn’t known what to expect and wisely didn’t ask, so I had no individual gifts for anybody, and I felt badly about it. Janice would have hand-made cards to go with the gifts she’d have thought to bring.

So I sat there miserably opening thoughtful token after thoughtful token, full of self-loathing and probably self-pity and trying not to blubber. I didn’t blubber, either, not in front of anybody, and that’ll have to do.

I drank some brandy and ate some of everything in sight until I began to waddle. That’s how I know it’s time to stop. I succumbed to a parlor game that didn’t turn out to be awful, and dodged a game of Chicken Foot, and that worked out fine.

Lots of talk, lots of laughing. Nobody got drunk, nobody got punched, nobody cried but me. Here’s something notable: Without collaboration of any sort, my son and I brought the same thing for a house gift.

I learned a couple of jokes. Jim had two or three thousand, I bet, but I remember only a couple, both of them no doubt offensive to a group or two, and each of which, while not at all funny in itself, inexplicably caused me to laugh. I’m gonna tell you one. If you think of yourself as at all sensitive or civilized, you should probably stop here.

There’s a new shelter in town—Tempura House, for lightly battered women. I warned you.

Synthesis Weekly – January 5, 2015

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Transcript of Synthesis Weekly – January 5, 2015