100:00:01,119 --> 00:00:02,518Well, that party was a dud.

200:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,440I think I struck outwith, like, 20 girls.

300:00:04,855 --> 00:00:06,872And...my condom expired.

400:00:06,874 --> 00:00:07,989We are losers!

500:00:07,991 --> 00:00:09,625We've tried everything.

600:00:09,627 --> 00:00:11,176We're coveredin Drakkar,

700:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,494I've got freshnew white socks,

800:00:12,496 --> 00:00:14,179and I thought ourmime work in there

900:00:14,181 --> 00:00:16,215was excellent!

1000:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,382What?

1100:00:22,806 --> 00:00:26,725Um, are we in a zombiemovie right now?

1200:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,885Boys...

1300:00:52,887 --> 00:00:55,704today is your lucky day.

1400:00:55,706 --> 00:00:58,206Because today...

1500:00:58,208 --> 00:01:01,093I'm gonna teach youhow to...

1600:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,598...live.

1700:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,650Who's got gum?

1800:01:08,826 --> 00:01:12,826 How I Met Your Mother 9x17 SunriseOriginal Air Date on February 3, 2014

1900:01:12,851 --> 00:01:17,851== sync, corrected by elderman ==@elder_man

2000:01:21,197 --> 00:01:24,232Kids, for a brief periodwhen I was seven,

2100:01:24,234 --> 00:01:26,735my best friend was a balloon.

2200:01:26,737 --> 00:01:28,203It was the classic story:

2300:01:28,205 --> 00:01:30,205boy meets balloon,

2400:01:30,207 --> 00:01:32,157boy and balloon become friends,

2500:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,425boy loses balloon

2600:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,210when Mom sets out hot dogsin the backyard.

2700:01:35,212 --> 00:01:38,380No!

2800:01:38,382 --> 00:01:40,415Decades later, boy's newbest friend finds out

2900:01:40,417 --> 00:01:42,718about the whole thing and neverlets him live it down.

3000:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,219I hate you so much.

3100:01:44,221 --> 00:01:45,771The whole thingtaught me a lesson.

3200:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,039If you love something,

3300:01:47,041 --> 00:01:48,407you can never let it go,

3400:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,108not even for a second,

3500:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,276or it's gone forever.

3600:01:51,278 --> 00:01:54,479Well, at leastI still got my hot dogs.

3700:01:55,899 --> 00:01:57,382No!

3800:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,117It was a lesson that took me

3900:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,869nearly 30 years to unlearn.

4000:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,604Where could Barney be?

4100:02:02,606 --> 00:02:04,406Oh, relax.He always finds his way home.

4200:02:04,408 --> 00:02:06,542St. Patrick'sDay, 2008.

4300:02:06,544 --> 00:02:08,276He did not find hisway home that night.

4400:02:08,278 --> 00:02:10,329That Dumpster wasa block from his apartment.

4500:02:10,331 --> 00:02:11,914I call that a win.

4600:02:11,916 --> 00:02:14,333Also, that isn't the filthiest trashhe's ever slept with.

4700:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,635Ho! My futurehusband, folks!

4800:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,339Or maybe he bailedon the wedding.

4900:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,289Oh, come on.

5000:02:21,291 --> 00:02:22,474Don't eventhink like that.

5100:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,893Well, he's terrifiedof commitment--

5200:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,930although, ironically,loves being tied down...

5300:02:27,932 --> 00:02:31,683Look, as the run-offeeat my own almost-wedding,

5400:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,485I can tell youyou are fine.

5500:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,687Barney is no Stella.Mmm.

5600:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,138Hey, have you talkedto her in a while?

5700:02:37,140 --> 00:02:39,107Stella?Yeah.

5800:02:39,109 --> 00:02:40,976The woman whobroke my heart

5900:02:40,978 --> 00:02:42,310and embarrassed mein front of

6000:02:42,312 --> 00:02:44,029all my friendsand loved ones?

6100:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,697Uh... no.

6200:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,082That was a lie.

6300:02:47,084 --> 00:02:48,166A few days earlier,

6400:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,968I had talkedto Stella on the phone.

6500:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,753Because, as you may recall,

6600:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,790I'm kind ofthe wedding gift master.

6700:02:54,792 --> 00:02:56,041Okay, I'm gonna stop you.

6800:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,042Do you not hear

6900:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,377how weird this all sounds?

7000:02:58,379 --> 00:02:59,511What part of this is weird?

7100:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,879You're going to yourex-girlfriend's wedding.

7200:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,831It's not weird at all.Where you'll be the best man...

7300:03:02,833 --> 00:03:03,966Utterly not weird.

7400:03:03,968 --> 00:03:05,851And now, less thana week before the wedding,

7500:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,103you're calling the womanwho left you at the altar

7600:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,188and moved three time zones away

7700:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,640on the razor-thin chance

7800:03:11,642 --> 00:03:12,774that I somehow ended up

7900:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,643with her grandmother's locket?

8000:03:14,645 --> 00:03:15,644You know what's weird, Stella?

8100:03:15,646 --> 00:03:16,812Not seeing Star Wars

8200:03:16,814 --> 00:03:17,846until you're 30.

8300:03:17,848 --> 00:03:19,364You're tryingto blow up the wedding.

8400:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,566You called C-3PO "the Tin Man."

8500:03:21,568 --> 00:03:22,701He is made of tin!

8600:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,352It's Tatooine scrap metal!

8700:03:24,354 --> 00:03:26,705This is not an argumentyou are gonna win.

8800:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,357Now, do you havethe locket or not?

8900:03:28,359 --> 00:03:30,709Look, I might have it somewhere

9000:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,577in one of my old boxesin our storage locker,

9100:03:32,579 --> 00:03:35,080but even if I did, I cannot getout there this week.

9200:03:35,082 --> 00:03:36,715I'm totally swamped.

9300:03:37,867 --> 00:03:40,118One ticket to Los Angeles,please.

9400:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,537So the reason someonecan't come up

9500:03:42,539 --> 00:03:43,805to fix the air conditioning

9600:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,341is that the ghostof Captain Dearduff,

9700:03:46,343 --> 00:03:48,043who haunts this room,

9800:03:48,045 --> 00:03:49,378likes it muggy?

9900:03:49,380 --> 00:03:50,479That's correct.

10000:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,813Although, now thatI say it out loud,

10100:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,849it does soundkind of ridiculous,

10200:03:53,851 --> 00:03:55,350because there'sno such thing as ghosts.

10300:03:55,352 --> 00:03:56,685Right?

10400:03:58,271 --> 00:04:00,155You have outflanked me,Front Desk Guy!

10500:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,574Victory is yours!

10600:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,577The truth is, there wasa ghost in that room.

10700:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,195You see, minutes earlier,

10800:04:07,197 --> 00:04:09,197Marshall had been in the middleof the worst fight

10900:04:09,199 --> 00:04:10,415of his marriage,

11000:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,901when all of sudden,Lily stormed out.

11100:04:13,736 --> 00:04:16,254Damn it, Lily.

11200:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,622This is so unfair.

11300:04:17,624 --> 00:04:18,907I know!

11400:04:18,909 --> 00:04:21,076Storming out inthe middle of an argument?

11500:04:21,078 --> 00:04:22,794So childish!

11600:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,913Thank you,Ghost Lily.

11700:04:24,915 --> 00:04:27,215I'm glad at leastyou see it that way.

11800:04:27,217 --> 00:04:30,085Although, let's be honest,I did you a favor.

11900:04:30,087 --> 00:04:31,252You were gonna lose.

12000:04:31,254 --> 00:04:32,721I... what?

12100:04:32,723 --> 00:04:33,889I was gonna lose?

12200:04:33,891 --> 00:04:36,224Uh, check your spectralscorecard, Ghost Lily.

12300:04:36,226 --> 00:04:37,392I had you on the ropes.

12400:04:37,394 --> 00:04:38,560That's why you ran out.

12500:04:38,562 --> 00:04:41,163I ran out becauseyou brought up San Francisco.

12600:04:41,165 --> 00:04:42,481It was a valid point.

12700:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,265It's ancient history.

12800:04:44,267 --> 00:04:45,934If you're mad at anyone,

12900:04:45,936 --> 00:04:47,536you're mad at 2006 Lily.

13000:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,571Well, I can't very wellhave an argument with 2006...

13100:04:49,573 --> 00:04:51,456Is nice!

13200:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,375Do people still say that?

13300:04:54,243 --> 00:04:55,994I'm sorry,how exactly

13400:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,879are you gonnateach us how to live?

13500:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,248The journey to awesome

13600:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,417starts with a single...

13700:05:03,753 --> 00:05:04,920Actually, lots of singles.

13800:05:04,922 --> 00:05:05,954We're going to a strip club.

13900:05:05,956 --> 00:05:07,222Strip club?

14000:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,257We're in the middleof nowhere.

14100:05:09,259 --> 00:05:11,176There is alwaysa strip club.

14200:05:12,595 --> 00:05:15,097Hey, are you a little worriedthis guy might kill us?

14300:05:15,099 --> 00:05:18,133We just put a down paymenton adult bunk beds.

14400:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,318Would getting killedreally be so bad?

14500:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,320Good point.I got a weird feeling.

14600:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,822I mean, there'ssomething off about...

14700:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,440Whoa!

14800:05:29,313 --> 00:05:31,997why does this signsay "gentlemen's club"?

14900:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,833Answer: because The Crab Shed

15000:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,035is a place for gentlemen.

15100:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,336A gentleman

15200:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,038tips generously.

15300:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,423A gentleman uses

15400:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,792the complimentarybathroom cologne...

15500:05:43,794 --> 00:05:44,993...but not too much.

15600:05:44,995 --> 00:05:47,496Oh. This isimportant.

15700:05:47,498 --> 00:05:49,931Your instinct may be

15800:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,851to avoid the free buffet.

15900:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,171Your instinct is wrong.

16000:05:56,173 --> 00:05:58,440Don't sleep on the meatballs,gentlemen.

16100:05:58,442 --> 00:05:59,775They are

16200:05:59,777 --> 00:06:00,859exquisite!

16300:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,195Come on!

16400:06:05,481 --> 00:06:07,399You know,I liked Stella.

16500:06:07,401 --> 00:06:08,850Even though shebroke your heart,

16600:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,735I'd still put herin your top five.

16700:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,070Which are...?

16800:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,789All right, number five, Stella.Mm-hmm.

16900:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,073Number four,Zoey.

17000:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,242Number three, uh,the Slutty Pumpkin.

17100:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,243Ah.

17200:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,360Number two,Marshall,

17300:06:19,362 --> 00:06:21,129that time you guyspretended to be a couple

17400:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,631when Barney was tryingto sell the apartment.

17500:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,917And number one,Victoria.

17600:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,719Well, you've giventhis some thought.

17700:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,887Well, we all have.

17800:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,922There's kind of a runninge-mail chain about it.

17900:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,541But the pastry chefwas the best.

18000:06:33,543 --> 00:06:34,726No question.

18100:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,678I do miss hersticky buns.

18200:06:36,680 --> 00:06:37,679Uh, euphemism?

18300:06:37,681 --> 00:06:40,765Nope.

18400:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,933Can I be honest?

18500:06:41,935 --> 00:06:45,103Um, it was kind of crazyhow all of sudden

18600:06:45,105 --> 00:06:48,940it was just... overbetween you and Victoria.

18700:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,026I mean...

18800:06:51,028 --> 00:06:53,862you guys were sevenyears in the making.

18900:06:53,864 --> 00:06:56,364She left her fiancfor you.

19000:06:56,366 --> 00:06:57,916What... why wouldyou break up?

19100:07:00,119 --> 00:07:01,786What happened?

19200:07:05,242 --> 00:07:08,176We, um...

19300:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,411we broke up because of you.

19400:07:14,733 --> 00:07:16,534Oh, my God,this is amazing!

19500:07:17,033 --> 00:07:19,484I ruined my pants, butit's totally worth it!

19600:07:19,486 --> 00:07:21,486Best meatballs ever!

19700:07:21,488 --> 00:07:23,437Mmm!I'm gonna ask

19800:07:23,439 --> 00:07:24,572a serious questionright now.

19900:07:24,574 --> 00:07:27,074Can a person livein a strip club?

20000:07:27,076 --> 00:07:28,876Yes.

20100:07:28,878 --> 00:07:29,961For the next few years,

20200:07:29,963 --> 00:07:31,712your strip clubwill be like home.

20300:07:31,714 --> 00:07:33,915Then, one day,you'll date a stripper

20400:07:33,917 --> 00:07:36,467and almost marry her,and after that,

20500:07:36,469 --> 00:07:38,836you'll realizeyou're done with strip clubs.

20600:07:38,838 --> 00:07:41,973In the sense that you'll dial itback to, like, once a week.

20700:07:41,975 --> 00:07:44,242I feel like I can talk to women now.Yeah.

20800:07:44,244 --> 00:07:45,877You just sticka dollar bill in your mouth,

20900:07:45,879 --> 00:07:47,461and the conversationstarts itself.

21000:07:47,463 --> 00:07:49,380You know, I think we're readyto go back to that party

21100:07:49,382 --> 00:07:50,648and meet some ladies.

21200:07:50,650 --> 00:07:52,250Yeah!

21300:07:52,252 --> 00:07:53,818Yeah!Yeah!

21400:07:53,820 --> 00:07:57,154You! Are!Not! Ready!

21500:07:57,156 --> 00:07:58,940Your training is complete

21600:07:58,942 --> 00:08:02,693when I sayyour training is complete!

21700:08:02,695 --> 00:08:03,861Come on, let's go.

21800:08:05,981 --> 00:08:08,366You-you broke up with Victoria

21900:08:08,368 --> 00:08:09,650because of me?

22000:08:09,652 --> 00:08:12,920She didn't want usto be friends anymore,

22100:08:12,922 --> 00:08:14,505so I had to let her go.

22200:08:14,507 --> 00:08:16,707Ted...

22300:08:19,127 --> 00:08:21,879I just...

22400:08:21,881 --> 00:08:23,714Wow, I...

22500:08:23,716 --> 00:08:25,383And-and you haven'ttalked to her since?

22600:08:25,385 --> 00:08:27,301Haven't talked to her since.

22700:08:27,303 --> 00:08:29,020Also a lie.

22800:08:29,022 --> 00:08:30,438Unbelievable.

22900:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,306And I assume this isall in the hopes

23000:08:32,308 --> 00:08:33,858that Robin'll ditchher own wedding

23100:08:33,860 --> 00:08:35,026and run off with you?

23200:08:35,028 --> 00:08:36,811What? No.

23300:08:36,813 --> 00:08:37,812I would never.

23400:08:37,814 --> 00:08:38,863You would neverrun off with a girl

23500:08:38,865 --> 00:08:39,897on the day of her wedding?

23600:08:39,899 --> 00:08:41,165Ri...

23700:08:41,167 --> 00:08:42,400Okay, that's a fair point.

23800:08:42,402 --> 00:08:43,484I'm not done.

23900:08:43,486 --> 00:08:45,152...ight.

24000:08:45,154 --> 00:08:46,604So, do you have it?

24100:08:50,709 --> 00:08:52,243I'm looking at it right now.

24200:08:52,245 --> 00:08:53,628What?Oh, uh... stay there.

24300:08:53,630 --> 00:08:54,662I'm-I'm on my way.

24400:08:54,664 --> 00:08:55,713I'm in Germany.

24500:08:55,715 --> 00:08:56,914Danke schon!

24600:08:58,366 --> 00:08:59,333I see.

24700:08:59,335 --> 00:09:01,002Look, if it meansthat much to you,

24800:09:01,004 --> 00:09:02,637as soon as I'm donehere at the bakery,

24900:09:02,639 --> 00:09:03,671I'll overnight it.

25000:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,022It'll be there in 24 hours.

25100:09:06,042 --> 00:09:07,508Thank you.

25200:09:07,510 --> 00:09:09,427So this bakery,what kind of, uh...

25300:09:09,429 --> 00:09:10,428You want me to send you

25400:09:10,430 --> 00:09:11,729some chocolate trufflestreuselkuchen?

25500:09:11,731 --> 00:09:13,648Yes, please,you're the best, thank you.

25600:09:13,650 --> 00:09:15,733But then, 24 hours later...

25700:09:15,735 --> 00:09:16,934disaster.

25800:09:16,936 --> 00:09:18,352I'm sorry, Mr. Mosby.

25900:09:18,354 --> 00:09:21,155It says here your packagewas delivered earlier today.

26000:09:21,157 --> 00:09:22,406Your wife signed for it.

26100:09:22,408 --> 00:09:23,741My... what?

26200:09:23,743 --> 00:09:24,892I... I don't have a wife.

26300:09:24,894 --> 00:09:27,411So, then, who's Jeanette Mosby?

26400:09:27,413 --> 00:09:29,780Oh, you're kidding me.

26500:09:31,817 --> 00:09:34,752Oh, my gosh,2013 me!

26600:09:34,754 --> 00:09:36,203So many questions!

26700:09:36,205 --> 00:09:38,623How many MySpace friendsdo I have now?

26800:09:38,625 --> 00:09:40,808Has James Bluntput out

26900:09:40,810 --> 00:09:42,743the steady streamof number one hits

27000:09:42,745 --> 00:09:44,011we all expect from him?

27100:09:44,013 --> 00:09:46,430And why are we inthis hotel room?

27200:09:46,432 --> 00:09:47,965We're here for Barney's wedding.

27300:09:47,967 --> 00:09:49,433Barney's wedding?

27400:09:49,435 --> 00:09:50,635Oh, God.

27500:09:50,637 --> 00:09:52,103What desperate ho-bag

27600:09:52,105 --> 00:09:54,271is handcuffing herselfto that time bomb?

27700:09:54,273 --> 00:09:56,590My dad did a realnumber on me.

27800:09:56,592 --> 00:09:58,976Okay, uh... Ghost Lily,seven-years-ago Ghost Lily,

27900:09:58,978 --> 00:10:00,111can we get on with this

28000:10:00,113 --> 00:10:01,445so I can win the argument

28100:10:01,447 --> 00:10:02,930and we can move on to myregularly scheduled fantasy

28200:10:02,932 --> 00:10:04,198of you two making outwith each other?

28300:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,533Sure.Just so you know,

28400:10:05,535 --> 00:10:07,151I really like it when...

28500:10:07,153 --> 00:10:08,536I know.I'm you.

28600:10:08,538 --> 00:10:11,105And I don't likethat anymore.

28700:10:11,107 --> 00:10:11,989Okay, yes,

28800:10:11,991 --> 00:10:13,541seven-years-ago Lily,

28900:10:13,543 --> 00:10:15,660maybe I am wrongfor still being mad at you

29000:10:15,662 --> 00:10:19,046about San Franciscoand our breakup.

29100:10:19,048 --> 00:10:21,499But the truth is,when you left me,

29200:10:21,501 --> 00:10:23,868that was the saddestI've ever been in my life.

29300:10:23,870 --> 00:10:24,952Really?

29400:10:24,954 --> 00:10:26,671The saddest you'veever been in your life?

29500:10:26,673 --> 00:10:27,722Saddest I've ever beenin my life.

29600:10:27,724 --> 00:10:30,007I mean, I amsitting right here.

29700:10:30,009 --> 00:10:33,144Look, Dad, yes, obviously,losing you was way worse,

29800:10:33,146 --> 00:10:36,380but I'm trying to makea bigger point here.

29900:10:36,382 --> 00:10:37,648And what point is that?

30000:10:37,650 --> 00:10:40,885Because she hurt you once,you now get to hurt her?

30100:10:40,887 --> 00:10:42,687It's not how it worksin a marriage.

30200:10:42,689 --> 00:10:43,604Ooh...

30300:10:43,606 --> 00:10:46,340You're totally gonna lose.

30400:10:47,659 --> 00:10:50,444I can't believeyou're open at this hour.

30500:10:50,446 --> 00:10:52,146I'm always openfor my friends.

30600:10:52,148 --> 00:10:53,247What are we doing here?

30700:10:53,249 --> 00:10:54,665We should go backto the party.

30800:10:54,667 --> 00:10:57,001In relaxed-fit domestic denim?

30900:10:57,003 --> 00:10:58,819I'm sorry,is this a costume party,

31000:10:58,821 --> 00:11:00,621and you're going as 1994?

31100:11:00,623 --> 00:11:02,923Would you be a peachand bump this, please?

31200:11:04,176 --> 00:11:05,659Who caresabout any of this?

31300:11:05,661 --> 00:11:06,677They're just clothes.

31400:11:06,679 --> 00:11:09,329Just clothes? Ted--

31500:11:09,331 --> 00:11:11,665sorry, force of habit--

31600:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,217boys, suits are cool.

31700:11:13,219 --> 00:11:14,518Exhibit A.

31800:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,003I don't carehow well-dressed I am.

31900:11:16,005 --> 00:11:17,888The real challenge is walkingup to a girl

32000:11:17,890 --> 00:11:19,173that I've never met before

32100:11:19,175 --> 00:11:22,843and somehow talking to herwith words from my mouth.

32200:11:22,845 --> 00:11:24,645I've looked at itfrom every possible angle.

32300:11:24,647 --> 00:11:26,230There's just no way to do it.

32400:11:32,237 --> 00:11:33,537What's your name?

32500:11:33,539 --> 00:11:34,789Justin.

32600:11:34,791 --> 00:11:36,857Have you met Justin?

32700:11:36,859 --> 00:11:39,460Uh, no. Hi, I'm Julie.

32800:11:39,462 --> 00:11:41,712So simple, so elegant.

32900:11:41,714 --> 00:11:42,997Hmm.That's it?

33000:11:42,999 --> 00:11:44,882You just walk up to someoneyou don't know

33100:11:44,884 --> 00:11:46,250and introduce themto your buddy?

33200:11:46,252 --> 00:11:47,551I don't know.That sounds kind of...

33300:11:47,553 --> 00:11:48,919Have you met Kyle?

33400:11:48,921 --> 00:11:50,254Hi, Kyle.

33500:11:50,256 --> 00:11:52,206Are you Jesus?!

33600:11:53,141 --> 00:11:55,392I would have understood,

33700:11:55,394 --> 00:11:56,977you know?

33800:11:56,979 --> 00:11:58,345I mean, if you told me

33900:11:58,347 --> 00:12:00,397that we couldn't be friendsanymore,

34000:12:00,399 --> 00:12:01,816I-I wouldn't have liked it,

34100:12:01,818 --> 00:12:03,601but I, God,I would have understood.

34200:12:03,603 --> 00:12:05,102I could never do that.

34300:12:05,104 --> 00:12:06,203Why not?

34400:12:07,856 --> 00:12:10,391Ted, okay, I insistthat you tell me why not.

34500:12:10,393 --> 00:12:11,558No way.

34600:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,278Answer the question.It's... it's for the bride.

34700:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,696I'm not gonna answerthe question,

34800:12:15,698 --> 00:12:18,916because you know the answer.

34900:12:19,868 --> 00:12:21,702You want to talkabout my top five?

35000:12:21,704 --> 00:12:23,070There's no top five, Robin!

35100:12:23,072 --> 00:12:25,539There's just a top one,and it's you.

35200:12:25,541 --> 00:12:29,009And the only reason I'm sayingany of this is 'cause

35300:12:29,011 --> 00:12:31,879I know that it's not gonnachange anything.

35400:12:31,881 --> 00:12:33,931You and Barney are gettingmarried today.

35500:12:33,933 --> 00:12:36,801If I have to hold the shotgunmyself, it's happening.

35600:12:36,803 --> 00:12:39,470I thought you don't like guns.

35700:12:39,472 --> 00:12:40,971I'm the best man.

35800:12:40,973 --> 00:12:43,607I swore on the Bro Code.

35900:12:43,609 --> 00:12:46,610I don't want to go to Bro Hell.

36000:12:46,612 --> 00:12:47,895Bro Hell sounds bad.

36100:12:47,897 --> 00:12:50,197I'm sure Barney's gota whole thing about Bro Hell.

36200:12:50,199 --> 00:12:56,036But what about when weget back from our honeymoon?

36300:12:56,955 --> 00:12:58,605What about our first night outat the bar?

36400:12:58,607 --> 00:12:59,606But what then?

36500:12:59,608 --> 00:13:01,709I mean, is it gonna be weird?

36600:13:01,711 --> 00:13:03,294No.

36700:13:03,296 --> 00:13:05,162How can you be so sure?

36800:13:05,164 --> 00:13:07,464Because I'm not gonna be there.

36900:13:07,466 --> 00:13:09,550I'm moving to Chicago.

37000:13:13,487 --> 00:13:15,571You're moving to Chicago?That's right.

37100:13:15,573 --> 00:13:17,073I'm gonna workfor Hammond Druthers.

37200:13:17,075 --> 00:13:18,541The penis-building guy?

37300:13:18,620 --> 00:13:20,370They're not all penis buildings.

37400:13:20,372 --> 00:13:22,405They just designedthis clamshell amphitheater

37500:13:22,407 --> 00:13:23,706for the St. Louis Symphony.

37600:13:23,708 --> 00:13:27,560That one, it doesn't looklike a penis, anyway.

37700:13:27,562 --> 00:13:30,546I can't believeyou're leaving New York.

37800:13:31,432 --> 00:13:33,700Wait, is this be--is this because of me?

37900:13:33,702 --> 00:13:35,918No, it's not because of you.

38000:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,587Well, maybe at firstit was, but...

38100:13:50,951 --> 00:13:53,436It's been a really long week.

38200:13:53,438 --> 00:13:57,991Some stuff has happened and...

38300:13:57,993 --> 00:14:01,961it's just made me feel likeit's, it's time to move on.

38400:14:03,163 --> 00:14:05,614Yes, good things happenedto me in New York,

38500:14:05,616 --> 00:14:09,085but bad things happened, too.

38600:14:09,087 --> 00:14:12,905Like your top fiveworst relationships?

38700:14:12,907 --> 00:14:16,959Okay, come on. Let me hear it.

38800:14:16,961 --> 00:14:18,895Number five, Blah Blah.Mm-hmm.

38900:14:18,897 --> 00:14:21,898Number four,boats, boats, boats.

39000:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,483Number three, Karen.Mm.

39100:14:23,485 --> 00:14:27,803Number two, uh, Zoey.She made both lists.

39200:14:27,805 --> 00:14:31,274Number one, by a landslide,Jeanette.

39300:14:31,276 --> 00:14:33,409Jeanette, of course.By the way,

39400:14:33,411 --> 00:14:34,610have you talkedto Jeanette lately?

39500:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,579- I haven't talked to her.- Liar.

39600:14:36,581 --> 00:14:39,482So I was at your apartmentstealing your mail,

39700:14:39,484 --> 00:14:42,935and apparently there'ssome chick named Victoria

39800:14:42,937 --> 00:14:44,487sending you jewelry

39900:14:44,489 --> 00:14:45,722from Germany?

40000:14:45,724 --> 00:14:48,374Somebody owes somebodyan explanation.

40100:14:48,376 --> 00:14:50,727Jeanette, that locketis a wedding gift for Robin.

40200:14:50,729 --> 00:14:53,246Robin?! Oh, God, this again?

40300:14:53,248 --> 00:14:55,631That I'm givingto her as a friend

40400:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,433because I'm kindof the wedding gift master!

40500:14:57,435 --> 00:14:59,168Now bring it backto me right now!

40600:14:59,170 --> 00:15:01,270Fine. Meet meat the Bow Bridge

40700:15:01,272 --> 00:15:03,022in Central Park in one hour.

40800:15:03,024 --> 00:15:05,625And by the way,I want Kenny back.

40900:15:05,627 --> 00:15:06,442Who's Kenny?!

41000:15:06,444 --> 00:15:08,027My pet tarantula.

41100:15:09,364 --> 00:15:11,614By the way, I love your hair.

41200:15:11,616 --> 00:15:13,082I love your hair!

41300:15:13,084 --> 00:15:14,283Imaginary women, right?

41400:15:14,285 --> 00:15:18,354I need everyoneto just be quiet, please.

41500:15:18,356 --> 00:15:23,609Look, I know that I couldhave handled all of this better.

41600:15:23,611 --> 00:15:26,546But setting aside the factthat all of our friends are here

41700:15:26,548 --> 00:15:28,131and that we don't speak Italian,

41800:15:28,133 --> 00:15:30,833if we stay in New York, we bothget to follow our dreams.

41900:15:30,835 --> 00:15:32,035Are we really gonna go someplace

42000:15:32,037 --> 00:15:33,920where only one of us getsto do that?

42100:15:33,922 --> 00:15:35,704Of course not.Well, then how can you...?

42200:15:35,706 --> 00:15:37,256Wait-- what?

42300:15:37,258 --> 00:15:39,041We're not moving to Italy.

42400:15:39,043 --> 00:15:41,511We have a baby.It makes sense to stay here.

42500:15:41,513 --> 00:15:42,595Even I know that.

42600:15:42,597 --> 00:15:44,347You do?

42700:15:44,349 --> 00:15:47,100So... I win?

42800:15:47,935 --> 00:15:50,787Well, then, ho, hey, ho.

42900:15:50,789 --> 00:15:54,857In your ethereal face,Ghost Lily.

43000:15:54,859 --> 00:15:58,194Oh, yeah, the Convincerright here!

43100:15:58,196 --> 00:15:59,529She thought I was gonna lose.

43200:15:59,531 --> 00:16:00,913You are gonna lose.

43300:16:00,915 --> 00:16:04,567You're gonna lose this.

43400:16:04,569 --> 00:16:06,002If you keep lying to me,

43500:16:06,004 --> 00:16:08,004if you keep cutting me outof decisions,

43600:16:08,006 --> 00:16:11,791if you keep using wordslike "winning" and "losing"

43700:16:11,793 --> 00:16:13,543when you talkabout our marriage.

43800:16:13,545 --> 00:16:16,462It's not like it'll happenall at once,

43900:16:16,464 --> 00:16:19,265but if you keep actingthis way,

44000:16:19,267 --> 00:16:22,435little by little,

44100:16:22,437 --> 00:16:23,736you're gonna lose me.

44200:16:23,738 --> 00:16:26,405Is that what you want?

44300:16:26,407 --> 00:16:28,641No, of course not.

44400:16:28,643 --> 00:16:32,562You're not my enemy.You're my wife.

44500:16:32,564 --> 00:16:33,429My wife!

44600:16:33,431 --> 00:16:34,714Right?

44700:16:34,716 --> 00:16:36,616No. Sorr... sorry.

44800:16:37,785 --> 00:16:40,336We shouldprobably head back.

44900:16:41,438 --> 00:16:44,123Do you want to watchthe sun come up?

45000:16:47,494 --> 00:16:48,777Sure.

45100:16:48,779 --> 00:16:51,030Thanks for meeting me here.

45200:16:51,032 --> 00:16:53,782I'm heading over to the EastSide to stuff a dead squirrel

45300:16:53,784 --> 00:16:55,585into a differentex-boyfriend's mailbox,

45400:16:55,587 --> 00:16:57,587so, you know, this made sense.

45500:16:57,589 --> 00:16:58,954Of course.

45600:16:58,956 --> 00:17:00,923So, can I have the locket?

45700:17:00,925 --> 00:17:02,809No.

45800:17:02,811 --> 00:17:04,343What? Jeanette...

45900:17:04,345 --> 00:17:06,729Ted, listen to me.You're being crazy.

46000:17:06,731 --> 00:17:08,047I'm being crazy?!

46100:17:08,049 --> 00:17:11,150Yes! How long have you beenhung up on Robin?

46200:17:11,152 --> 00:17:12,852Eight years?!

46300:17:12,854 --> 00:17:14,153And you're stillkilling yourself

46400:17:14,155 --> 00:17:16,739to fetch dumb little trinketsfor her. That's crazy!

46500:17:16,741 --> 00:17:18,324That's more than crazy.

46600:17:18,326 --> 00:17:20,142I don't think there's a wordfor what that is!

46700:17:20,144 --> 00:17:22,945Actually, there is a wordfor that. It's "love."

46800:17:23,864 --> 00:17:25,832I'm in love with her, okay?

46900:17:25,834 --> 00:17:28,317If you're looking for the wordthat means caring about someone

47000:17:28,319 --> 00:17:30,786beyond all rationalityand wanting them to have

47100:17:30,788 --> 00:17:32,421everything they want,no matter how much

47200:17:32,423 --> 00:17:33,956it destroys you, it's love!

47300:17:34,925 --> 00:17:37,210And when you love someone,you just, you...

47400:17:37,212 --> 00:17:38,794you don't stop, ever.

47500:17:38,796 --> 00:17:41,430Even when people roll theireyes or call you crazy.

47600:17:41,432 --> 00:17:43,549Even then. Especially then!

47700:17:43,551 --> 00:17:46,135You just-- you don't give up!Because if I could give up...

47800:17:46,137 --> 00:17:49,222if I could just, you know,take the whole world's advice

47900:17:49,224 --> 00:17:52,475and-and move on and find someoneelse, that wouldn't be love.

48000:17:52,477 --> 00:17:54,026That would be...

48100:17:54,028 --> 00:17:56,229that would be some otherdisposable thing

48200:17:56,231 --> 00:17:59,148that is not worth fighting for.

48300:18:00,517 --> 00:18:04,871But I--that is not what this is.

48400:18:04,873 --> 00:18:09,024So, please, can I havethe locket?

48500:18:13,547 --> 00:18:14,997Cuckoo.

48600:18:23,690 --> 00:18:26,726I think we shouldget back together.

48700:18:31,665 --> 00:18:34,600And... new day.

48800:18:34,602 --> 00:18:38,104Yep, new day.

48900:18:39,222 --> 00:18:41,574 Close your eyes...

49000:18:41,576 --> 00:18:45,278Okay, you need to getat least a little sleep.

49100:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,447 Do you feelmy heart beating?

49200:18:48,449 --> 00:18:51,334 Do you understand?

49300:18:51,336 --> 00:18:53,669 Do you feel the same?

49400:18:53,671 --> 00:18:55,755A few final thoughts.

49500:18:55,757 --> 00:18:58,107Don't get marrieduntil you're 30.

49600:18:58,109 --> 00:19:00,409Play laser tag once a week.

49700:19:00,411 --> 00:19:04,547Give at least as many high fivesas you get.

49800:19:04,549 --> 00:19:06,682Teacup pigs are lady magnets,

49900:19:06,684 --> 00:19:09,835but very hard to care for.Not worth the effort.

50000:19:09,837 --> 00:19:14,690The same goes for dogsand babies.

50100:19:15,425 --> 00:19:17,560And most importantly,

50200:19:17,562 --> 00:19:21,263whatever you do in this life,

50300:19:21,265 --> 00:19:23,232it's not legendary

50400:19:23,234 --> 00:19:25,451unless your friends are thereto see it.

50500:19:26,737 --> 00:19:29,956Good luck, boys.

50600:19:29,958 --> 00:19:32,792Take care ofthe game for me.

50700:19:32,794 --> 00:19:35,227We will.

50800:19:36,463 --> 00:19:39,415Did you ever gethis name?

50900:19:39,417 --> 00:19:42,335No. What'd he give you?

51000:19:42,337 --> 00:19:43,336I don't know,

51100:19:43,338 --> 00:19:46,005but I think it's important.

51200:19:46,007 --> 00:19:51,394 I don't want to losethis feeling

51300:19:51,396 --> 00:19:53,479Lil-Lily...

51400:19:54,181 --> 00:19:56,182I love you. And I'm so sorry.

51500:19:56,184 --> 00:19:57,600It doesn't matterwhere we live.

51600:19:57,602 --> 00:19:58,818I just want usto be...

51700:19:58,820 --> 00:20:00,252We're staying in New York.

51800:20:00,254 --> 00:20:01,654What? No.

51900:20:01,656 --> 00:20:03,322Yes.

52000:20:03,324 --> 00:20:06,242It just makes sense.

52100:20:06,244 --> 00:20:09,829I've missed you so much.

52200:20:11,648 --> 00:20:14,450 Am I only dreaming?

52300:20:14,452 --> 00:20:16,702I have to let go now.

52400:20:16,704 --> 00:20:19,755 Is this burningI know you do.

52500:20:19,757 --> 00:20:22,792 An eternal flame?

52600:20:22,794 --> 00:20:28,514 Close your eyes,give me your hand, darling

52700:20:28,516 --> 00:20:31,967 Do you feelmy heart beating?

52800:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,387 Do you understand?

52900:20:34,389 --> 00:20:37,540 Do you feel the same?

53000:20:37,542 --> 00:20:42,361 Am I only dreaming?

53100:20:49,042 --> 00:20:52,011When we went outon our first date,

53200:20:52,013 --> 00:20:53,479at the endof the night,

53300:20:53,481 --> 00:20:55,297did you want meto kiss you?

53400:20:56,270 --> 00:20:58,020Yeah, I did.Damn it!

53500:20:58,022 --> 00:21:03,022== sync, corrected by elderman ==@elder_man