Editorial Pleased to announce that

all the Lomandra plants

have been issued raising

approximately $4600 dol-

lars.

Ross’s visit to Grenfell with

Steve went well, meets be-

ing held with the Rotary

club of Grenfell and staff

of Henry Lawson High. It

is planned that Grenfell

Year 10 students will be

hosted by Springwood Ro-

tary for a weeks work expe-

rience the 3rd week in No-

vember.

The guest speaker this

week, Vent Thomas is from

the Board of the Blue

Mountains Business

Chamber (Biznet). Vent

spoke on the history of

Chambers of Commerce

and about Biznets begin-

ning in 2000. The organi-

sation currently with 200

members and a board of

11. It acts as a advocate for

the local business commu-

nity offering network

events, seminars such as

financial planning, holds

business awards and offers

a mentoring program. The

organisation is undergoing

a name change to Blue

The Other News…

Happy

September

Birthdays to…

Margaret Boyle

Robyn Crouch

Norm Kitto

Jennifer Wearne

Happy

September

Wedding

Anniversary

to ...

Margaret & Richard

Bell

Volume 31, Issue 10 8th September, 2014

SPRINGWORD The official Bulletin of The Rotary Club of Springwood Inc.

Chartered 4th December 1984 CLUB 22213 Postal Address P.O. Box 45, Springwood, N.S.W, 2777

See the District 9685 website http://rotarydistrict9685.org.au Club Website www.springwoodrotary.org.au

Of the things we

think, say, or do

Is it the truth?

Is it fair to all con-

cerned?

Will it build good

will and better

friendships?

Will it be beneficial

to all concerned?

Inside this issue...

GARY C.K. HUANG is the 2014-2015 President of Rotary International

His theme is “Light Up Rotary”

Introduction : Yvonne Meehan

Thanks : Steve Elliott

This Week’s Meeting…

Neville Burns -

Snake Handler / Author

Mountains Regional Busi-

ness Chamber.

Within the club John

Lambert is currently

working on the clubs final

report of last years Match-

ing Grant; ‘Training den-

tal staff in the Congo’.

As District Trainer, Paul

Erickson is organising a

joint 5 District Rotary

Leadership Seminar (Sat.

18 Oct) at RI offices Par-

ramatta and Presentation

Skills training (Sun 19th

Oct) to be held in Castle

Hills. Interested members

please contact Paul.

Ross Ingram

President

From the President 1

Money Stuff 2

Dates for Your Diary 2

Club News 2

Humour 3

Rotary News 4

Members of the Board

4

Last Meeting Stats 4

Treasurer Norm has emailed all members the club’s cur-

rent financial statements.

Money Stuff - Dates for Your Diary...

September is New Generations Month

Sep 6 Working Bee Buttenshaw Park

Sep 8 Meeting - Neville Burns - Snake Handler / Author

Sep 15 Meeting - Rebecca Har r is - After Care

Sep 22 Meeting - Club Assembly

Sep 27 Blue Gum Markets

Sep 29 Meeting - David Berger

Oct 6 No Meeting

Oct 13 Meeting - Pride of Workmanship Awards

Oct 20 Meeting - Peter Sweeney - Gallipoli

Oct 25 Blue Gum Markets

Oct 27 Meeting - Jennifer Scott - Bullying

Nov 3 Meeting - Sue Bell & Irene Morr ison - India / Po-

Club News … Apologies are to be phoned to Bill Clague preferably by text message (SMS) on 0400 802 448, or email

- bjcge_bill@hotmail.com, or on 4751 1089 by 5pm on Sunday. Reminder: You will be required to pay

for any meals not cancelled .

Report on PDG Bob Aitken’s illness.

Conference report form AG and Conference treasurer Ivan.

Members urged to book accommodation ASAP

Early bird registrations close in November

If members have problems with registration contact Ivan for help.

I am looking for suggested sites for the Graffiti Removal Day in October, preferably with the following crite-

ria: Safe and at a level which does not require ladders or climbing; Publicly visible; Preferably over-painting

only; Minimal chemical removal OK, so long as we can use smaller gurneys; Location Springwood/

Faulconbridge/Winmalee. Thanks! Jenny Y. Meehan

Videos of the Week Just click on each picture, then click to play

iPad Zauberer

Simon Pierro

Liveauftritt

[subtitled]

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take

it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

someone you don't know, but you know deserves it...

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to

make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right phone num-

ber!' And the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number

to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!'

And hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, And put it in

my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had

a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!' It always

cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' call-

ing would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John

Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar

with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!'

and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for

that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back

window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after

calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that

I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.'

I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax

It's a yellow ranch style house And the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'

He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'

I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called asshole #1.

He said, 'Hello'

I said, 'You're an asshole!'

(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah!'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me'

I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, a yellow ranch

style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass'

I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on

my way over to 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oak-

tree Blvd in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of

each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and

surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

Trying To Feed Five Thousand Today

MEMBERS OF THE BOARD 2014-2015

President : Ross Ingram

Vice President : Pat Ainslie

Past President : Laur ie Waterson

Honorary Secretary : Laur ie Waterson

Honorary Treasurer : Norman Kitto

Community Service Directors : Steve Elliott /Robyn

Crouch

International Service Director : Margaret Bell

Vocational Services Directors : Bill Clague / Carol Brandt

Youth Director : Warwick Har r ison

Foundation Director: C. Kenney / J . Lamber t / J . Wearn

*********

Sergeant at Arms : Cheryl Kitto / J eff Sprague

Historian: Alan Cameron

Speaker Coordinator : Yvonne Meehan

Springword Editor : Marilyn Kenney

DATE SPEAKER INTRODUCE THANKS

8.9.14 Neville Burns Y. Meehan S. Elliott

15.9.14 Rebecca Harris G Sprague W. Harrison

22.9.14 Club Assembly

29.9.14 David Berger W Harrison I. Fedor

13.10.14 PRIDE OF WORKMANSHIP AWARDS

20.10.14 Peter Sweeney R Ingram D Rayner

MEETING STATISTICS 1/9/2014

Current Membership 38

Attendance tonight 23

Effective Attendance 28

Percentage 72%

Raffle Winner Ross Ingram

Pick-A-Card Bronwyn Berriman (no joker)

Exchange Student

Visiting Rotarians

Members’ Guests

Guest Speakers Vent Thomas

The District 9685 Conference 2015will be held at the Hunter Valley on March 20 - 22. Registrations are now open . Just click on the icon above to go to the site.