Renegade Rapport Workbook

Techniques are many, principals are few, techniques sometimes work, but principals always do. -The True Seducer's Motto

The following is a checklist meant to help you get started with this course. You do not have to follow this checklist, but it is recommended you use the course in the way that's outlined below.

1. Listen to the Introduction CD.

2. Listen to Essential Foundations Part 1.

3. Listen to Essential Foundations Part 2.

4. Listen to Secrets of Powerful Rapport Part 1.

5. Listen to Secrets of Powerful Rapport Part 2.

6. Listen to The Rapport Process Part 1

7. Listen to The Rapport Process Part 2

8. Listen to Core Values of Rapport Part 1

9. Listen to Core Values of Rapport Part 2

10. Read the Master Skills Workbook.

11. Practice exercises listed in Master Skills Workbook.

12. Listen to the Advanced Rapport Tactics CD.

13. Read through and review the Rapport Secrets books.

14. Go out and apply what you've learned.

Renegade Rapport

H o w To Learn The Essential Rapport Skills You Need To Meet Any W o m a n You Want

By

Joseph Matthews

www.artofapproaching.com

Renegade Rapport - Master Skills Workbook - Joseph Matthews

Table Of Contents

Introduction 3

Self-Controlling Your Own Mental And Emotional States 4

Skill Building And Installation 6

State Shifting Through Physiology 8

Drills You Can Do With A Partner 10

Volitional State Management: Managing Emotional States Via An Act

Of Will Or Intention 14

Skill Building And Installation (With Partner): 20

Renegade Rapport Phase 2 22

Testing the Power of Rapport 25

The Sphere of Influence - Advanced Rapport Tactic 29

H o w To Do Sphere of Influence 30

Afterward 32

2


Introduction

Part of learning to use Rapport effectively is learning to control not only your own emotions, but the emotions of others.

Too often, we're giving broad "concepts" of how to do rapport skills that, while effective, don't truly deliver the desired results.

When I set about creating this course, I understood that the results that would be produced would be directly related to how effective one could be controlling their own emotions, and by an extension of this skill, the emotions of others.

So I sat down with the experts and got from them actual training methods that can be used to help us learn to control what most people can't - emotional states.

The exercises outlined in this workbook are meant to allow you shift emotions at will, so that once in rapport, you can control what you, and your partner, are experiencing.

But more than that, it will allow you to experience your partner's emotional state, which will help you to calibrate where they are and where you want them to go.

Please keep in mind: LISTEN TO THE AUDIOS OF THIS COURSE BEFORE YOU ATTEMPT THE EXERCISES IN THIS WORKBOOK.

Only after you understand rapport and its fundamentals should you start working on these exercises you need to start influencing others.

Good luck,

Joseph Matthews

3


Self-Controlling Your Own Mental And Emotional States

It is virtually impossible to effectively influence others without the ability to enter and exit desired states of mind on demand.

In other words, in order to get a woman to experience the kind of feelings you want her to have, you MUST be able to FEEL them yourself first - on demand.

This is a fundamental RULE of influence.

There are two primary ways to manage your own emotional states:

1. Physiological State Management

The mind and body are completely connected. Each and every emotion you have generates a corresponding set of physical characteristics within you, from the way you stand, to the way you breathe, to the way your pupils dilate.

Conversely... every change in your physical body causes a corresponding mental and emotional shift to take place.

We call this the mind/body feedback loop.

Influencing one end of the loop will cause a resulting change in other end. You can use this phenomenon to exert influence on others AFTER you've learned how to use it to influence yourself.

2. Volitional State Management

Volitional state management is the ability to move into or out of any emotional state as an "act of will" or "intention." Of the two primary ways to manage your emotional states this one is the most challenging to develop without a great deal of practice using the proper drills.

Why do we want to move in and out of emotional states at all?

All human decisions and behavior is based on the emotions or "feelings" that person is having at the time.

If we want to influence others to do what we want, then we must insure that they are in the mental and emotional states that are most likely to lead them to take the actions we want them to take and think the way we want them to think.

4


In addition, we ourselves are often at the mercy of randomly induced emotional states. By learning how to "shift" your emotional states you have much greater power over your ability to Think and Feel the way YOU choose to think and feel.

The truth is that you are bombarded hourly, thousands of times a day, by various agencies trying to influence how you feel in order to get you to do what They want you to do and make you Think its your idea.

In addition to giving you tremendous power with women, you can also think of this as a mental self-defense course that has the power to give you nigh complete control over every aspect of your life.

These skills are the FUNDAMENTAL life skills somebody SHOULD have taught you a long long time ago. But they didn't.

Let's Review

Mind/Body Feedback Loop. o Every state has a corresponding physiology. o Every physiology has a corresponding state. o Shifting physiology will reliably change your state each the time! o Practice shifting states by shifting physiology.

5


Skill Building And Installation

Emotional Calibration Exercises Using Your Body

This first basic exercise introduces you to the concept of learning how to pay attention to the way your body responds to certain emotional states.

You will quickly discover that when you "feel" a certain emotion or undergo a particular mental state that many aspects of your body (i.e. posture, breathing rate, head tilts etc.) will shift and change accordingly.

Your first exercise is simply learning to pay attention to "what" changes occur when you experience a particular emotional state. For the purpose of learning, we are going to stick with very clean discrete emotions.

There are actually only SIX Primary emotions that human beings experience.

All other emotional states are merely combinations and variations of the basic six, much like the primary colors that make up all the colors in the spectrum.

They are: Happiness Sadness Surprise Disgust Fear Anger

For this drill you will choose one of the emotions from the above list.

You will then remember a time in your past when you were experiencing that emotion.

Go as deeply into that emotional experience as you can, literally re-live it.

See what you were seeing then, hear what you were hearing in that moment, feel the feelings you had then.

When the feelings come back and you're sure you're deeply in that emotional state, notice how you're standing, notice where your weight placement is, what is your posture like.

How are your shoulders? Are they hunched, slumped, rigid? How fast or slow is your breathing rate? Pay attention to these physiological aspects of your emotional state.

6

Renegade Rapport - Master Skills Workbook -- Joseph Matthews

Now break the state by thinking about something that is relatively neutral such as what you had for breakfast or lunch yesterday.

Once you are completely out of that emotional state, re-create the physiology of that state.

Stand the way you were standing, hold your head the way you were holding your head, breath at the rate you were breathing.

Hold it for at least one to three minutes.

Pay attention to how your emotional state begins to shift back to the way you were feeling when you recalled that particular event that evoked the original emotional response.

Do this for each of the six basic emotions but be sure to break the emotional state between each one.

Once you are comfortable doing that you can play with more complex but equally useful emotional states such as - Playfulness, Confidence, Authority, Trust, etc.

In a nutshell

• Solo State Drill #1:

o Choose a single emotional state. o Take yourself into that state and notice how your physiology shifts

according to the state you've chosen. o Break the State. o Pick another State and repeat.

NOTE: To learn the drill, use the six basic emotions. But Practice all state control drills using resource states that will empower your abilities to successfully apply influence in the real world.

7


State Shifting Through Physiology

In this next drill we are going to make what you have learned even more practical, and expand your ability to move from one state to another as well as demonstrate the power of your physiology to control your mental and emotional states.

For this drill you are going to choose two emotional states that are polar opposites.

For the sake of simplicity we will choose Happiness and Sadness as our target emotions for this drill.

This drill can be done with ANY set of emotions once you know the corresponding physical characteristics of each state, but we are looking for some very strong contrast between emotional states to assist you in learning how to do this process.

Once you have selected your two target emotional states starting with the most positive one (in this case happiness) assume, or take on the physical characteristics of that emotional state.

Stand the way you would stand if you were exceedingly happy, breath the way you would naturally be breathing when you are in a very happy joyful mood.

Become aware of how that feeling begins to grow within you the longer you hold that physiology.

Now, once you know you are deeply in that state, assume the physiology of sadness.

Notice how your mental and emotional state shifts.

Hold that posture until you know you've got it.

Now, shift your physical body back to the physiology of Happiness.

Pay attention to how your mind and emotions begin to gravitate back toward that happy state.

Now, once you know you are in that happy positive state, maintain that happy physical posture and TRY to feel sad.

Notice that you can't actually access or feel that emotion without allowing your physiology to move back into the "natural" physiology for sadness.

It simply doesn't work.

Is that useful?

8

Renegade Rapport ~ Master Skills Workbook - Joseph Matthews

If you answered anything but YES to that question, re-package this material and send it back to me immediately.

Here is the bottom line:

Using this technique, you can immediately, within moments, enter, exit, or modify ANY emotional state you are in simply by shifting and changing your physical body to the physiology of the state you WANT to be in.

Because this technique uses the physical body to change and shift emotional states, it works on everyone any time, anywhere, and can be used even when you are unable to change your emotional state any other way.

I like to call this my fail safe technique.

It's always there when you need it.

Solo State Control Drill: Self Calibration

To do this drill:

• Pick two contrasting or opposite emotional states • Take on the physical characteristics of the positive one first • Stay there for 1 -3 minutes as necessary to really get the state • Shift your physiology to the negative or less than positive emotional state • Hold for 1-3 minutes as needed to really get the state • Shift your physiology back to the positive state • Hold the physiology for 1-3 minutes until you know you've got it. • While holding the physiology of the positive emotion Try to Feel the negative one • Move back to enjoying your positive state for one minute • Break the state by thinking about something neutral

Repeat as needed.

9


Drills You Can Do With A Pa r tne r

Now once you have mastered the ability to change your emotional states through shifting your body. You can begin to play with some other useful skills that are "based" on the work you have already done.

This next level involves the ability to "sense" emotional states of others by "adopting" their physiology and paying attention to what mental or emotional states holding that physiology generates within you.

For these next drills you will need a partner, male or female, makes no difference so long as they are familiar with the drills and have done them themselves.

Once again you are going to pick an emotional state. It can be anything you want but its best to stick to the basics when you are learning to calibrate emotions this way.

Tell your partner what emotion you are going to do. Assume the physiology of that state.

Your partner now "adopts" the physiology you are holding and pays attention to the feelings that begin to arise within themselves. Once your partner signals that they have it bring yourself back to a neutral state.

Switch places and repeat, now YOU are matching the physiology of your partner as they enter a particular emotional state.

10


Partner Drill # 1 Basic State Control: Calibration

• Now with a partner pick a state, • Assume the appropriate physiology • Partner assumes the same physiology and calibrates what emotional state is

being projected. • Partner gives signals you when he feels the emotion • Switch and Repeat until you both have done it

Next we will be practicing a more advanced level of emotional calibration. When done properly this can make you seem almost psychic in your ability to know what is really going on inside a person.

This is where you really begin to become powerful in exerting unconscious influence. But it all begins with being able to "sense" through your body and feelings what is going on with another person.

This is done by matching your partner's physiology and paying attention to your own states as you do so.

The next series of drills is very similar to those you have just done.

The difference is that from this moment forward you will NOT be telling your partner what states you are going in to. You and your partner's job from this point on is simply to "sense" through you own internal mechanisms "what state" your partner is in.

The secret here once again is to "match" as closely as possible the "exact" physiology of your partner/target and of course once you do that to simply have patience and pay attention to your own internal emotional state.

Pretty soon, with a little practice, your own body will become like an emotional GPS able to easily register the emotional states of your subject as they shift from one to another.

NOTE: The important thing to remember here is NOT to try and GUESS the emotional state of your target based on what you see, in fact in the really advanced levels of this we actually have our students close their eyes and practice reliably calibrating their subjects emotional states. Their accuracy is always 80% or better if they have done their work properly.

So...

11


This is the advanced state control exercise you are working to master.

We are in essence moving from a largely static form of sensing to a more dynamic one. This is important because human beings do NOT walk around in just one emotion all the time.

We are constantly experiencing shifting emotional states most of which is entirely outside the average human beings level of awareness. The only way one can exert any kind of control over an emotional state is first and foremost to be aware of it. Since most people are not aware on that level they become easy to influence.

Even better, because they have no understanding of how easily emotions are transmitted, any emotion you transfer to them they automatically believe - IS THEIR OWN.

Mastering these skill sets can give you the ability to completely pre-dispose someone to doing what you want... BEFORE you ever actually speak to them.

Partner Drill # 2 - Advanced Single State Control: Blind Calibration

• Partner A picks an emotional state • Partner A does NOT tell Partner B what that state is • Partner A assumes the physiology of the state and enters the state • Partner B then matches Partner A's physiology as closely as possible • Partner B pays attention to the shifts in his or her emotional state • Partner B makes a note of what he or she senses from Partner A

Once Partner B signals that he or she has determined the first emotional state:

• Partner A shifts back to a Neutral state (using the corresponding physiology) • Partner A then shifts in to the physiology of the second previously selected

state • Partner B Matches Partner A's physiology • Partner B pays attention to his or her own shifting emotional states • When Partner B knows what the state is, he or she makes a note of it and

signals A • Partner A then shifts back to a neutral state • Partners compare findings

Partners switch and the drill is repeated

12


The next drill is designed to further develop your ability to sense shifting emotional states.

In this next drill we follow a pattern very similar to the solo state control drill # 2 you did at the beginning of this manual.

Below you will find a list of states that are considered polar opposites of one another. I suggest you and your partner work through each of these sets of emotions over and over again.

The more you practice this type of skill the better you will get and the faster the information will come to you,

Secondly, once you have a strong handle on these skills its time to go out into the real world and start using the skills to "sense" the states of perfect strangers, friends and any other human being within your range.

You will be amazed how much you learn and how quickly.

NOTE: Choose states to play with from the following list of useful states:

Attractiveness vs. Repulsive Relaxed vs. Stressed**

Attracted vs. Repulsed Excitement vs. Boredom

In Control vs. Out of Control Fascination vs. Confusion

Sincerity vs. Insincerity Clarity vs. Confusion**

Trust vs. Distrust** Hyper Acuity vs. Contemplation**

Anger vs. Indifference Authority vs. Subservience**

Certainty vs. Uncertainty** Powerful vs. Powerless

Joy vs. Sadness Conviction vs. Disbelief

Confident vs. Unconfident

13


Volitional State Management : Managing Emotional States Via An Act Of Will Or Intent ion

You will find that these drills are VERY similar to those we practiced in section one on State Management via Physiology.

However, there is one KEY (and it is key) difference.

We eliminate or minimize the use of our physical body to sense and shift emotional states.

I liken these drills (both those in section one and this one) to mental weight lifting. You see, we have so many latent abilities lying dormant within us that we are never even aware of or develop because no one gave us the tools or the awareness of how to do it or that it could even be done.

Stop for a moment and imagine how different your life would have been if you had known HOW to stop feeling bad, scared, depressed or angry when ever you needed to.

What more things in life would you have accomplished by this point if you already knew how to feel confident, happy, authoritative or playful on command?

If only someone had given us those skills when we were kids...

But they didn't

That's the bad news.

The good news is: YOU NEVER HAVE TO BE THAT WAY EVER AGAIN!

Now you can learn and practice building your mental and emotional muscles, just like you can practice and build your physical ones.

It's the simple truth about what is now possible for you ~ if you are willing to invest the time and energy to develop these skills.

The way we build our mental and emotional muscles is through emotional "polarity" exercises. If you have been doing your homework up to this point. Using your physiology to access and exit any emotion you want is pretty easy.

What we want to do now is develop that ability WITHOUT resorting to our physiology. We want to move into and out of states simply by deciding to do so. Now much like our previous set of exercises we must first become aware of these states before we can "manage" them.

14


Volitional State Control Drill # 1: Polarity Exercise: Basic Calibration

This exercise can be done alone or with a partner. I recommend you practice solo first and then move on to partner work.

The solo polarity drill works by teaching you to access an emotional state (either through revivification, or some other means) and then shifting your emotional state as far into that emotional state as possible. THEN returning to a NEUTRAL state as an act of will or intention, and then shifting into the POLAR OPPOSITE of that state and going as deeply into it as possible then returning back to a neutral state.

Don't worry, it sounds more complicated then it actually is. So before I go give you the step by step drill "in a nutshell," let me paint a picture for you to help you understand.

Let's say you want to practice feeling more happiness in your life and feel less sadness.

You select those two polar opposite emotions to work with. So you find a chair and sit with your legs uncrossed, your hands in your lap. This is the physiology you will hold throughout the entire exercise.

What you want to do is determine some way to "measure" the intensity of the emotion that you are feeling.

I like to use what is commonly referred to in the medical field as SUD's scale1 its simply a rating of zero to ten with Zero being the total absence of the emotion and ten being the absolute extreme of that emotion.

Now the easiest way to "calibrate your SUDS scale is to imagine or remember a time when you most strongly felt the emotion your going to work with... in this case -Happiness.

Go as deeply into that emotion as you can. When you reach the intensity of what you were actually feeling at the time. You have found your "temporary" level ten.

Why do I say temporary?

Well what you will probably notice is that when you begin doing this exercise, that you will inevitably get to a certain point or intensity on your internal scale that you can't seem to go beyond, BUT you will feel like there IS further to go.

Congratulations!

You just hit the limit of your current ability to experience that emotion.

1 SUDS stands for "Subjective Limits of Distress Scale". It is a purely subjective method of rating a perceived sensation or experience.

15


This is both good news and bad news.

Remember emotions are like muscles the more you work with them, the stronger they become and the wider the range in which they can function.

In other words, the more you practice going to the extreme of this emotional state the more of it you will eventually experience. Now that's great when we are working with an emotion like happiness.

But what about Sadness?

So now that you have found your temporary ten with regard to happiness, your next step is to incrementally lower the intensity of what you're feeling all the way back to zero or neutral.

With me so far?

Good.

Now we go the other direction. It's time to go as far into the emotion of sadness as you can.

Now why would anyone in their right mind want to go as deeply into a negative emotion like sadness as they could? The answer is...

No one does.

The reality of the matter however is this: Human beings, on the average, spend a lot more time wallowing in negative emotions than they do positive ones.

Now, based on what we have learned about building emotional muscles we know that if you spend a lot more time flexing those negative emotional muscles the bigger and stronger they become.

Emotions are also habit forming, meaning the more you use a particular emotion the more time you will spend "experiencing and generating that emotion."

Human beings do this by default. They simply don't know any better, and even if they did, no one ever taught them HOW to get out of those emotions once they get stuck in them.

That's one of the reasons WHY you must learn to go as deeply into the negative states as you do the positive ones AND be able to BRING YOURSELF BACK OUT OF THEM.

16

Renegade Rapport - Master Skills Workbook ~ Joseph Matthews

So now, sitting with your feet flat on the floor, and your hands in your lap, remember a time when you were the SADDEST you have ever been.

Relive the moment until you are as sad and miserable as you were then.

Find your Temporary Ten.

Once you hit your Ten on the Sadness scale, begin to slowly and incrementally bring yourself back to a neutral or Zero state.

Then, just because you deserve some good feelings, work yourself back up to a Ten on the Happiness scale and incrementally bring yourself back to neutral or "whatever" level of happiness you want to be feeling at the time.

Now, you will probably have noticed a few things.

First, you will probably notice that you experience a much deeper intensity of the negative emotion than you did the positive one.

If you didn't there is one of three possibilities.

A. Your lying B. You didn't go to deepest level you have ever felt C. You are one of those rare genuinely happy people (or psychopath... just kidding)

But if you are like MOST humans, you probably noticed that a Ten on your sadness scale was a lot more intense than the Ten on your happiness scale.

What gives?

Simple. You have been practicing negative emotions MORE than you have been practicing Positive ones. Neat huh?

You see, you probably weren't even aware of it until just now. It's not your fault. There are a lot of people who "think" they are pretty happy, when in point of fact... they spend far more time mired in negative emotional states.

Now the good news... YOU can change it!

Now before I move on, there are couple more reasons "why" you want to practice going as far into the negative emotions as you do the positive ones,

Behavioral flexibility. You see, you got this course to learn about the phenomenon known as rapport.

17


You want to learn to build powerful, strong connections between you and another human being or groups of human beings. Isn't that right?

Well one of the most powerful ways of gaining fast and deep rapport with someone is by "matching" their own emotional state, and then LEADING them out of it.

If you can't meet them on their level, physically or emotionally, they will NOT follow you into your level.

So in order to be MOST effective you must develop as broad a range of emotional experience as possible.

Make Sense?

Next Reason: Self-Protection. If you are going to really practice rapport skills, there will come a time when you inadvertently get rapport with someone who is in a REALLY BAD state!

In other words, they are in a negative state in relation to the state you are in and... they are pulling you down!

This happens ALL the time.

Remember, rapport is a state. It is a state of connection between your unconscious mind and the subject's unconscious mind. When in the state of rapport, what you feel - they feel. What they feel - you feel. That's the POWER and the DANGER of rapport.

When it comes to emotional states, if you can't measure it, you can't manage it. And you MUST manage it in order to be successful with women.

The last reason I will give you for practicing your negative and positive emotions with equal depth is this...

There is no such thing as a BAD emotional state.

All emotional states are appropriate in the proper context. Even emotions like blind killing rage or stark raving terror.

The question becomes: "Is the emotion I am experiencing, the most useful and appropriate emotional state for the context I am finding myself in?"

"If it is, how can I optimize it?"

"If it isn't, then what is the appropriate state and how can I get there?"

Guess what, my friend? You have ALREADY learned HOW to get there!

18


Practice this drill religiously using different pairs of emotional states that are polar opposites.

A brief list of polar opposites is included below. There are many more, but this should get you going.

NOTE: Below are a few examples of emotional states and their polar opposites. Choose any pair of states to practice with from the list:

Attractiveness VS Repulsive Attracted VS Repulsed In Control VS Out of Control Sincerity VS Insincerity Trust VS Distrust** Anger VS Indifference Certainty VS Uncertainty** Joy VS Sadness Confident VS Unconfident Relaxed VS Stressed** Excitement VS Boredom Fascination VS Clarity VS Confusion** Hyper Acuity VS Contemplation** Authority VS Subservience** Powerful VS Powerless Conviction VS Disbelief

Please keep in mind these are exercises and drills you SHOULD be doing every day. If you actually do them, in a very short time you will develop UNCANNY powers of influence — but ONLY if you invest the time and energy to develop the skills.

In a Nutshell...

Volitional State Control Drill # 1: Polaritv Exercise -- Basic Calibration w/ Partner

Select a set of emotional polar opposites. Start at Zero Point. Amplify and vivify positive emotions. Calibrate how far into the state you can go. Find your Temporary Ten Incrementally Return to neutral or Zero Point. Break State. Amplify and vivify negative emotional emotion. Calibrate how far into the state they can go. Partner also calibrates. Return to Neutral State.

19


Skill Building And Installation (With Partner):

Volitional State Control Drill #2: Polarity Exercise — Blind Calibration

• Select a set of emotional polar opposites. • DO NOT Inform your partner what the two states are. It is your partners'

responsibility to "calibrate" what your emotional state is via his own internal sensing abilities honed through practicing this set of drills2.

• Start at Zero Point. • Amplify and vivify positive emotions. • Calibrate how far into the state you can go. • Find your Temporary Ten • Incrementally Return to neutral or Zero Point. • Break The State. • Amplify and vivify negative emotional emotion. • Calibrate how far into the state they can go. • Partner also calibrates. (makes note of what he or she is perceiving) • Return to Neutral State. • Partners debrief and compare what was being vivified by A and what was

perceived by B. • Change positions and repeat.

NOTE: • For both group and single partner practice, each partner should do 3 "sets",

switching partners after each set. • One Set equals 3 "Rounds." • One "Round" = One pair of Polar Emotional States.

2 It should actually be pretty easy by now if you have been practicing.


Congratulations!

If you have made it this far then you are well on your way to mastering the art of rapport.

In fact, you don't know it yet, but in many respects you are already working at a higher level of ability to exert influence than most people will ever know about much less be able to actually do.

The next section will help take your newly found skills in an even more practical and useful direction.

The drills you have just practiced ARE the magic ingredient that gives the drills in the next section an amazing ability to make people like you and follow you.

Let's get started...

21


Renegade Rapport Phase 2

In this stage we actually (from some peoples' perspective) appear to be moving backwards in what we are practicing, but in reality, stacked with the skills you have developed in our segment on state control—YOUR REALLY PLAYING WITH POWER.

Rapport Drill #1 - Calibrating When Rapport Shifts

This drill will teach you what it feels like when "rapport" is suddenly broken or shifts.

The previous section should have allowed you to become very familiar with what rapport feels like in the first place.

This drill will teach you to become aware of shifts in rapport and how to use your physiology to "BREAK RAPPORT."

Now why would we want to break rapport with someone?

Well, remember, sometimes we inadvertently find ourselves in rapport with someone who is "toxic" to our emotional state.

It's not always the best course of action or investment of our time and energy to try and lead someone out of their "crappy" states.

In fact, many times trying to do so can be a tremendous drain on our physical and emotional energy reserves.

So it is always a good idea to know "when" to cut our losses and eject from a situation before we ourselves get pulled down into the other persons personal "pit of despair".

For all of the following drills you WILL need a partner.

In fact, you really can't do many rapport drills alone.. .none in fact (after all, rapport is about connections between two people).

Now, it stands to reason that the MORE partners you practice with, the more versatile your skills will become and much more reliable as well.

See if you can find friends or like-minded people who would be up for practicing with you.

I'm pretty lazy at heart and I LOVE having the tools in my tool kit that I KNOW will get me what I want EVERY time I use them. You should too.

This drill has some variants as well. They are also explained.


Rapport Drill 1 - Matching Physiology During Conversation - Breaking Rapport

• Sit at a 45 to 90 degree angle from your partner3.

• Partner A will be the person seeking to get rapport, Partner B will be the target.

• Partner B will sit comfortably and begin a conversation with partner A.

• Partner A will physically match B's posture, and physical position in the chair forming a mirror image of B.

• At the end of the 3 minutes A will abruptly shift his or her posture or sitting position and notice the shift in rapport.

• A and B switch.

• Now B is the rapport seeker and A is the Target.

• Repeat the above sequence.

3 This is the best place to sit if your target is a male. If your target is female one of the best places to be is directly in front of her just below eye level. Placing yourself at an angle to your target places you in the field of their peripheral vision making them much easier to influence covertly.


Rapport Drill 1a - Transitioning From Pacing To Leading

This is an important variant of rapport drill one. While it's very important to know "how to break rapport with a target, it is even more vital to know how to switch from simply matching or "copying" them to having "them follow you."

If you can't make the transition from pacing to leading you will quickly become "boring" in the eyes of your target. In a dating or pick up scenario boring is the "Kiss of DEATH."

With a different partner (if possible).

Begin the process of doing exercise One. I will repeat the steps for you here:

• Sit at a 45 to 90 degree angle from your partner. • Partner A will be the person seeking to get rapport, Partner B will be the target. • Partner B will sit comfortably and begin a conversation with partner A. • Partner A will physically match B's posture, and physical position in the chair

forming a mirror image of B. • During the next 3 minutes A continually sense when he or she has rapport with B,

paying attention to the fluctuation of emotional signals B is sending. • When A is certain that rapport is at its strongest A will (without informing B)

make a slow subtle shift of his body or gesture in some way. o If B copies the movement he or she has been successfully "lead" by A4

• A and B break rapport • A and B Switch positions • Now B is the rapport seeker and A is the Target. • Repeat the above sequence.

This drill is a very important transition point in your ability to exert "any" kind of influence.

Once you have established rapport AND successfully transitioned from merely pacing your targets reality, to actually being the one determining the direction; you can naturally begin to move your target in the emotional directions you want them to go, i.e. the states and feelings that naturally lead to what you want to have them do.

As long as you are congruent with the messages you are sending the target and you don't try to go too far too fast, more often then not, your target will happily follow along with you where ever you want them to go.

However, you must always go first.

4 The biggest factors here are ones of degree. Most people when practicing this drill look for very LARGE signs or cues from their partner. Many times these movements are small or even delayed by as much as two or three minutes. Rapport is not something that can be rushed, although, as you practice one does seem to create the effects in others faster and faster.

24


Testing the Power of Rapport

It's very interesting for me when I move through the world of "professional" influencers and guys looking to meet and seduce women.

Many folks seem to just "blow off rapport skills or take them for granted, quickly dismissing them in order to talk about the sexier types of hypnotic techniques like "Quotes Patterns" "Embedded Commands" or Even Thought Binding.

But I am here to tell you compared to the power of rapport, those sexier techniques are nothing but a FART IN THE BREEZE.

I'll prove it.

First of all without good rapport -- YOU CAN'T EVEN USE THE OTHER TECHNIQUES!

That's why the things you are learning in the course are so important. These rapport skills are the building blocks for further techniques you can use to meet and influence people.

These next sets of drills are AWSOME! Not because they grant you any particular SKILL with rapport, but because they clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, demonstrate how powerful the Rapport State really is.

Once you experience these drills you WILL become a willing convert to the United Church of Rapport Skills!

Sorry... got carried away, I get excited about this stuff.

Let's Play.

For this set of drills you will need a partner. As always I recommend doing this with as many partners as you can find.

25


Rapport Drill 2 - Crossing Signals A

Objective: To make you dramatically aware of just how powerful the rapport phenomenon is and how difficult rapport skills are to resist. This drill gives the student first hand experience with how tangible the rapport phenomenon is and how it can affect the dynamics of any interpersonal communication.

For this drill you will have two partners A and B.

• Person A will sit at an angle to person B5

• Person A will commence a conversation on something with person B. This should be a fairly neutral topic or a friendly conversation.

• As A and B are discussing the topic, they will intentionally "physically mismatch" each other for the entire course of the conversation.

• Pay attention to how the act of physically mismatching and deliberately not falling into physical rapport affects the dynamics of the interaction.

When you do this drill be sure to, as dramatically as possible, physically mismatch your partner.

If your partner is sitting with his legs crossed, sit with your legs apart. If he is looking you in the eyes, avoid eye contact. If he or she is sitting still be constantly fidgeting and moving in your chair.

I think you get the idea.

As you are doing this do your best to maintain a conversation and notice how YOU feel as you try to maintain a friendly dialogue?

Do your best to maintain the conversation for 2 or 3 minutes. What was it like?

If you are like most people you will notice that it's "extremely" hard to maintain a conversation with the other person. You will get the feeling that something is definitely wrong in the interaction and have an unconscious desire to "bail out" at the first opportunity.

5 Use the most appropriate angle for the gender of the person you are working with, or simply use the default position of 45 or 90 degrees to the side of the target.

26

Renegade Rapport ~ Master Skills Workbook - Joseph Matthews

Rapport Drill 3 - Crossing Signals B

If you thought the first drill was educational wait till you experience this one. This drill truly has to be experienced to be believed.

• For this drill you will need a partner.

• Person A will begin a conversation with Person B about a topic neither of you agree on.

o It could be politics, religion, and fast food vs. home cooking etc. The topic can be anything so long as neither party agrees with the other about it.

• Now A and B will begin to "discuss or debate the issue" while matching the physiology of the other.

o Pay attention to your natural tendencies as you do your best to win the other to your side of the argument.6

• Under NO circumstances should either partner allow themselves to be persuaded to the other persons point of view or compromise their position

• Continue this drill for a full 3 to five minutes

• Discuss what you felt or otherwise experienced.

What happened?

Did you notice how hard it was to maintain disagreement with your partner? Did you notice how for some inexplicable reason you kept finding yourself or your partner moving toward some kind of compromise?

Now keep in mind: You both KNEW what was going on. You both KNEW that rapport skills were being used on you. You were actively set AGAINST coming to an agreement or compromise... and if you are like most people.

You STILL found yourself gravitating toward at least some kind of middle ground. And if you were following instructions, you were primarily using ONLY your physical matching and mirroring skills to do it.

Friend, if THAT is not power. I DON'T know what is.

6 Be sure to use every rapport tactic that you know as continue this exercise. Match and Mirror as many things as possible while continuing to try and maintain disagreement.

27


I know that I was completely floored when I first tried this!

I hear master NLP trainers often say "Rapport IS the key to the Universe." I truly believe that to be the case.

Get good at rapport and the world will beat a path to your door.

28


The Sphere of Influence - Advanced Rapport Tactic

Now that you have some very powerful exercises and drills designed to increase both your ability to sense emotion and transmit that influence your influence to others, it's time to "operationalize" your skills a bit.

The next two drills are advanced, and they incorporate all of the elements you have been developing over the past few days or weeks. By and large these exercises can only be done in the field on unsuspecting real live human beings... sounds like fun eh?

Are you ready?

Drum roll please...

Now it's time to introduce you to a technique I call...

The Sphere Of Influence!

This technique encompasses everything you have learned up to this point. By now you have learned "how" to tap into your own internal feelings. You are now able to sense the subtle shifts within yourself caused by the emotional fluctuations of others with who you are in rapport.

Last but certainly not least, you also have the ability to "change" from any particular emotional state to any other useful emotional state as well as modify the intensity of that emotional state as an act of volition or will.

Now you are ready for the big leagues, my friend!

29


How To Do Sphere of Influence

Decide what emotional state or states you want to go for with your present target or subject.

Gain Rapport by assuming the physiology of your subject or target.

Create within yourself a "desire for connection" with the subject.

Please note. Sphere of Influence is NOT an exercise in how to assume rapport. It is a technique that is based on and utilizes a perceptible connection between you and the subject. Not an assumed connection.

"Assuming" rapport, although very powerful under the right circumstances and with lots of experience, can also be your undoing if you are not careful. I have seen many people try to "assume rapport" and completely delude themselves into thinking they have rapport when in fact they do not.

The bottom line is — without good calibration skills "assuming rapport' can get you in trouble with anyone who is strong willed, or has very strong defenses in place against being influenced or approached.

For the record, ANYTHING combined with Good Calibration Skills is 1000% more effective than a technique used without them. (Now let's get back to sphere of influence)

Wait for the rapport sensation to become strong and unmistakable within you

Imagine a glowing sphere of golden energy7 surrounding and permeating your body. (I like to think of it as a big warm hug type of energy that surrounds me like a blanket. Keep in mind - this isn't some "magical energy" field we're talking about here. This is a visualization in your mind meant to evoke certain feelings and emotions within YOU.)

Now imagine/visualize that golden sphere of energy opening up and spreading outward totally and completely enveloping your target(s).

Wrap yourself and subject completely within the sphere.

Close the sphere around your target and yourself, sealing you both in the energy field you have imagined.

Now, slowly begin to turn up the visual intensity of the sphere in your imagination. Make the glow bigger, brighter and stronger. Use the intensity of the glow as a way of shifting the intensity of the emotional state you are generating within yourself.8

7 Or you can use what ever color best symbolizes the emotions you're going to transmit. 8 You should practice shifting emotional intensity using this visual construct as often as possible

30


When the sphere has reached the intensity you desire. Realize that the sphere is an automatic process once it is set in motion. The sphere will continue to operate without your conscious attention or intention.

(Remember, as you're visualizing this, you should be feeling rather intense emotion. And if you're in rapport (real rapport, not assumed), guess what? The person you're in rapport with is feeling it too! That's how this Golden Bubble thingie is supposed to work.)

Let it go. Once you have set the sphere of influence mechanism running, you must now take your attention off it and focus on the other elements of your interaction with the subject. 9

In a Nutshell...

• Determine what state you are going for

• Assume the physiology of the subject or target (gain rapport)

• Wait for the rapport sensation to become strong within you

• Imagine a Glowing Sphere of energy surrounding you

• Visualize and imagine the sphere opening up and enveloping both you and

the subject.

• Amplify the visual and feeling aspects of the sphere until it's as strong as you

want it to be

• Set it and forget it. Let your mind focus on the other aspects of your interaction

The sphere of influence technique is extraordinarily powerful in its ability to influence other people. There is also a variation of the technique that can be used to actually drive people away as well. But for the purposes of this course, we're not going to discuss how to do that.

All of the techniques you have learned and practiced are extremely powerful. They are also cumulative. What I mean by that is simply this:

The more you practice them, the more powerful you will become.

9 This step is critical and seems to be the place where most students have the greatest amount of trouble

31


Afterward

The ability to gain rapport and exert influence is a power that has no limitations on where when or how useful it can be. Any situation in which one human being seeks to influence another is fair game for the use of these skills.

I sincerely hope you use these skills to make every aspect of your life the very best it can be, and also use them to improve the lives of others.

I'm not a persuasion cop, but keep in mind there is such a thing as karma, and if you use these skills to take advantage of people, its amazing how that nastiness can come back to haunt you.

Remember: The point of influence and persuasion is to leave your target in a state where they can be influenced again and again. So if you use these techniques to abuse or use other people, you will make it hard, if not impossible, to influence them in the future.

Use your own moral compass to help guide you, and know that the better you treat others, the better you will be treated.

Thank you for your time and attention in reading this workbook. In all honesty I have down played how powerful these skills are for the people who invest themselves in diligent practice, and we have still just scratched the surface of rapport.

Women will be amazed at how incredibly connected to you they feel in such a short time. Remember that you have to cycle women through various series of emotional states in order to get them where you want them. And to cycle women through those states... you must go through those states first.

Because when in Rapport, what you feel - they feel!

Remember to be diligent when practicing your rapport skills, and good luck to you.

All the best,

Joseph Matthews

32

Tone Scale 40. Serenity 30. Postulates 22. Games 20. Action 8. Exhilaration 6. Aesthetic 4. Enthusiasm 3.5 Cheerfulness 3.3 Strong interest 3. Conservatism 2.9 Mild interest 2.8 Contented 2.6 Disinterested 2.5 Boredom 2.4 Monotony 2. Antagonism 1.9 Hostility 1.8 Pain 1.5 Anger 1.4 Hate 1.3 Resentment 1.2 No sympathy 1.15 Unexpressed resentment 1.1 Covert hostility 1.02 Anxiety 1. Fear .98 Despair .96 Terror .94 Numb .9 Need For Sympathy .5 Grief .3 Undeserving .2 Self-abasement .1 Victim .07 Hopeless .05 Apathy .03 Useless - .01 Pity - .02 Shame - 1. Blame - 1.3 Regret - 40. Total failure .01 Dying 0. Body death

The Tone Scale is a way to map where someone is emotionally. It is usually easier to gain rapport with people who are within three points of you on the scale.

http://www.seductiondatabase.com/

http://www.seductiondatabase.com/

Renegade Rapport Workbook

Documents

Transcript of Renegade Rapport Workbook