Microsoft PowerPoint - Thieu Nang - Session 6

ENGLISH WRITINGThiểu năng

ENGLISH WRITINGThiểu năng

Session 6Module I

Instructor: Hồ Lê Vũ

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OVERVIEW• Review• Warm-up• Essay comparison – TP-based

– Homework solution & discussion• Genre factor in thematic distribution• Thematic progression improvement techniques

– Linear idea development

• Review• Warm-up• Essay comparison – TP-based

– Homework solution & discussion• Genre factor in thematic distribution• Thematic progression improvement techniques

– Linear idea development

2

Previously on Thiểu Năng…• Vietnamese-English translation

– Thematic progression• TP-based analysis

– The majority of patterns in Vietnamese paragraphs are Motivated-New-Theme

– The majority of patterns in English paragraphs are Rheme-Theme– Why?

• Vietnamese-English translation– Thematic progression

• TP-based analysis– The majority of patterns in Vietnamese paragraphs are Motivated-New-

Theme– The majority of patterns in English paragraphs are Rheme-Theme– Why?

3

Previously on Thiểu Năng…• Feedback

– Tại sao bàn tay con người với bàn tay lao động hay học với sự họckhông có liên quan?

• semantic relationship vs. syntactic relationship• Why Theme & Rheme should be based on syntactic relationship

– achieve greater consistency in analysis and text interpretation– are less dependent on specific culture and background knowledge

» cách mạng vs. kháng chiến vs. miền Bắc XHCN– better demonstrate differences in linking manner between 2 languages

» Tôi học trường Trần Phú. Trường được thành lập cách đây 20 năm.» In English, we need an additional linking element such as

the/that/my, etc.

• Feedback– Tại sao bàn tay con người với bàn tay lao động hay học với sự học

không có liên quan?• semantic relationship vs. syntactic relationship• Why Theme & Rheme should be based on syntactic relationship

– achieve greater consistency in analysis and text interpretation– are less dependent on specific culture and background knowledge

» cách mạng vs. kháng chiến vs. miền Bắc XHCN– better demonstrate differences in linking manner between 2 languages

» Tôi học trường Trần Phú. Trường được thành lập cách đây 20 năm.» In English, we need an additional linking element such as

the/that/my, etc.

4


– Người lính bị mảnh pháo phạt ngang sườn cố trườn qua tảng đá đến sátbên mép suối vục đầu vào làn nước trong vắt. Sự bước tới cái chếtnhanh hơn của anh khiến tôi thấm thía hơn về sự tàn khốc của cuộcchiến

– Nhưng nếu hiểu rằng khi bị thương nặng, bị mất máu nhiều mà uốngnước vào sẽ làm loãng máu ra thì người lính sẽ chết nhanh hơn, khi đóem cho là vẫn có quan hệ Rheme-Theme. Em cho là luôn phải dựa vàocontext ngoài câu chữ mắt thấy để nói là có Rheme-Theme hay không.

• What is the use of such a Rheme-Theme system?• Does it promote reader-responsible or writer-responsible writing?• Does it help differentiate between English and Vietnamese?

• Feedback– Người lính bị mảnh pháo phạt ngang sườn cố trườn qua tảng đá đến sát

bên mép suối vục đầu vào làn nước trong vắt. Sự bước tới cái chếtnhanh hơn của anh khiến tôi thấm thía hơn về sự tàn khốc của cuộcchiến

– Nhưng nếu hiểu rằng khi bị thương nặng, bị mất máu nhiều mà uốngnước vào sẽ làm loãng máu ra thì người lính sẽ chết nhanh hơn, khi đóem cho là vẫn có quan hệ Rheme-Theme. Em cho là luôn phải dựa vàocontext ngoài câu chữ mắt thấy để nói là có Rheme-Theme hay không.

• What is the use of such a Rheme-Theme system?• Does it promote reader-responsible or writer-responsible writing?• Does it help differentiate between English and Vietnamese?

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– Hôm qua thày có dạy về Theme-Rheme. Bây h viết 1 đoạn tiếng anh, ethấy có 2 cách viết:

• Thứ nhất là viết theo kiểu translate và sửa dần dần như ví dụ trên lớp vềmèo đuổi chuột của thày. Viết xong xuôi cả đoạn rồi mới sửa dần dần theoT-R.

• Thứ hai là viết từng câu một, áp dụng mấy nguyên tắc về T-R ngay khi viếttừng câu.

Thày cho em hỏi là viết theo cách nào trong 2 cách trên hay có cách nàokhác ạ.

→ All in good time

• Feedback– Hôm qua thày có dạy về Theme-Rheme. Bây h viết 1 đoạn tiếng anh, e

thấy có 2 cách viết:• Thứ nhất là viết theo kiểu translate và sửa dần dần như ví dụ trên lớp về

mèo đuổi chuột của thày. Viết xong xuôi cả đoạn rồi mới sửa dần dần theoT-R.

• Thứ hai là viết từng câu một, áp dụng mấy nguyên tắc về T-R ngay khi viếttừng câu.

Thày cho em hỏi là viết theo cách nào trong 2 cách trên hay có cách nàokhác ạ.

→ All in good time

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WARM-UP

• Watch a short clip of Sao Mai Diem Hen, in which the hostinterviews a singer contestant. Can you identify any logicalproblem?– Does it really constitute a problem in Vietnamese?– Does it in English?

• the although…. but… mistake• The because/since/as … that’s why… mistake

• Watch a short clip of Sao Mai Diem Hen, in which the hostinterviews a singer contestant. Can you identify any logicalproblem?– Does it really constitute a problem in Vietnamese?– Does it in English?

• the although…. but… mistake• The because/since/as … that’s why… mistake

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WARM-UP• Another sample of incorrect usage of cohesive device in

Vietnamese

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ESSAY COMPARISION – TP-BASED RESULT SUMMARY

• Solution comparisons• Essay A (12 R-T + 1 E-R-T + 5 N)

– 72% Rheme-Theme + Extended-Rheme-Theme patterns– 28% Motivated-New-Theme patterns

• Essay B (8 N + 3 R-T)– 28% Rheme-Theme patterns– 72% Motivated-New-Theme patterns

• Solution comparisons• Essay A (12 R-T + 1 E-R-T + 5 N)

– 72% Rheme-Theme + Extended-Rheme-Theme patterns– 28% Motivated-New-Theme patterns

• Essay B (8 N + 3 R-T)– 28% Rheme-Theme patterns– 72% Motivated-New-Theme patterns

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ESSAY COMPARISION – TP-BASED

Answer the following questions1. Which text do you like more?2. Which text is easier to follow and understand?3. The author's points are more clearly presented in which text?4. Which text provides more specific ideas?5. Which text provides examples that better support the author's

points?6. Which text is written by the native speaker?

Answer the following questions1. Which text do you like more?2. Which text is easier to follow and understand?3. The author's points are more clearly presented in which text?4. Which text provides more specific ideas?5. Which text provides examples that better support the author's

points?6. Which text is written by the native speaker?

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ESSAY COMPARISON• Why does TP differ between the two essays?

– Manner of exemplification• Text A provides only two examples, each followed by very detailed

descriptions and specifics• Text B briefly mentioned seven examples without a detailed evidence,

leaving the audience to infer much of the particulars.– the linking among these examples?

– Use of explicit cohesive ties (such as textual Themes)

• Why does TP differ between the two essays?– Manner of exemplification

• Text A provides only two examples, each followed by very detaileddescriptions and specifics

• Text B briefly mentioned seven examples without a detailed evidence,leaving the audience to infer much of the particulars.

– the linking among these examples?– Use of explicit cohesive ties (such as textual Themes)

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ESSAY COMPARISON• Vietnamese vs. Vietnamese ESL essays - manner of

exemplification– Ông Giám đốc một cơ quan, xí nghiệp nào đó muốn điều hành và quản lý tốt mọi

mặt hoạt động của đơn vị mình thì phải học. Người công nhân muốn nâng caonăng suốt và chất lượng sản phẩm cũng phải thường xuyên học hỏi, rút kinhnghiệm. Nông dân muốn đỡ vất vả trong công việc trồng trọt, chăn nuôi và tăngthêm thu nhập, cải thiện đời sống thì đương nhiên cũng phải học tập khoa học kĩthuật và áp dụng nó vào thực tế. Muốn có một công trình nghiên cứu hay mộtphát minh nào đó, nhà khoa học phải học tập và làm việc trong một thời gian dàiba năm, năm năm, mười năm...

– If a man chooses to do the right thing however difficult it may be, he will notwithdraw from a difficult choice and by doing so, he will become successful. Hemay never find out what bad luck is. Napoleon, a historical figure, definitely neverknew what bad luck was because he consolidated his power and never let it bedivided. If a person maintains a positive outlook, he will not feel that he is agingas he is getting older, and he will encounter many opportunities to be happy....

• Vietnamese vs. Vietnamese ESL essays - manner ofexemplification

– Ông Giám đốc một cơ quan, xí nghiệp nào đó muốn điều hành và quản lý tốt mọimặt hoạt động của đơn vị mình thì phải học. Người công nhân muốn nâng caonăng suốt và chất lượng sản phẩm cũng phải thường xuyên học hỏi, rút kinhnghiệm. Nông dân muốn đỡ vất vả trong công việc trồng trọt, chăn nuôi và tăngthêm thu nhập, cải thiện đời sống thì đương nhiên cũng phải học tập khoa học kĩthuật và áp dụng nó vào thực tế. Muốn có một công trình nghiên cứu hay mộtphát minh nào đó, nhà khoa học phải học tập và làm việc trong một thời gian dàiba năm, năm năm, mười năm...

– If a man chooses to do the right thing however difficult it may be, he will notwithdraw from a difficult choice and by doing so, he will become successful. Hemay never find out what bad luck is. Napoleon, a historical figure, definitely neverknew what bad luck was because he consolidated his power and never let it bedivided. If a person maintains a positive outlook, he will not feel that he is agingas he is getting older, and he will encounter many opportunities to be happy....

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ESSAY GROUP COMPARISON

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GENRE FACTOR• Genre influences TP patterns

– narratives tend to rely on parallel TP to maintain focus on aparticular character

– argumentative texts tend to employ linear TP, with each step inthe argument involving rhematic material being picked up in thesucceeding Themes

– argumentative texts tend to employ more textual and interpersonalThemes as they involve a greater extent of writer-readerinteraction

• E.g. What does that mean when the author uses– obviously– arguably– admittedly

→ more on this in the session of Appraisal resources

• Genre influences TP patterns– narratives tend to rely on parallel TP to maintain focus on a

particular character– argumentative texts tend to employ linear TP, with each step in

the argument involving rhematic material being picked up in thesucceeding Themes

– argumentative texts tend to employ more textual and interpersonalThemes as they involve a greater extent of writer-readerinteraction

• E.g. What does that mean when the author uses– obviously– arguably– admittedly

→ more on this in the session of Appraisal resources

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THEMATIC PROGRESSIONIMPROVEMENT TECHNIQUES

• Linear idea development• Manner of exemplification• Theme-Rheme re-arrangement

– Avoid Vietnamese influence on• usage of marked Themes• reference switching

• Employment of cohesive devices– as textual Themes– as non-textual-Themes

• Linking facilitation– linking scope– linking distance– linking explicitness

• Linear idea development• Manner of exemplification• Theme-Rheme re-arrangement

– Avoid Vietnamese influence on• usage of marked Themes• reference switching

• Employment of cohesive devices– as textual Themes– as non-textual-Themes

• Linking facilitation– linking scope– linking distance– linking explicitness

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LINEARITY

• What is linearity?→ watch a sample clip about linearity→ and another one about nonlinearity

• It can be either intra-sentential or inter-sentential.

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LINEAR IDEA DEVELOPMENT

• Grade could motivate students to work hard to achieve academic excellence byturning in thoroughly researched and well-written papers.

• Grade could motivate students to work hard (1) to achieve academic excellence (2)by turning in thoroughly researched and well-written papers (3).

• Grade could motivate students to work hard (1) → [in hope for a bettergrade] (*) → they make effort to turn in thoroughly researched and well-written papers (3) → and by extension [link 3 to 2], achieve academicexcellence (2).

• Note: (*) indicates an added idea (due to implicit linking)

• Grade could motivate students to work hard to achieve academic excellence byturning in thoroughly researched and well-written papers.

• Grade could motivate students to work hard (1) to achieve academic excellence (2)by turning in thoroughly researched and well-written papers (3).

• Grade could motivate students to work hard (1) → [in hope for a bettergrade] (*) → they make effort to turn in thoroughly researched and well-written papers (3) → and by extension [link 3 to 2], achieve academicexcellence (2).

• Note: (*) indicates an added idea (due to implicit linking)

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• Corporate social responsibilities (CRS) might help organization improve financialperformance by establishing a good relationship with prospective investors, so itwould have better access to capital. It is because many investors factor CRS intotheir investment decisions.

• Corporate social responsibilities (CRS) might help organization improve financialperformance by establishing a good relationship with prospective investors (1), so itwould have better access to capital (2). It is because many investors factor CRS intotheir investment decisions (3).

• Corporate social responsibilities (CRS) might help an organization improvefinancial performance by establishing a good relationship with prospectiveinvestors (1) → many of whom [link 1 to 3] factor CRS into their investmentdecisions (3) → This would translate into better access to capital (2).

• Corporate social responsibilities (CRS) might help organization improve financialperformance by establishing a good relationship with prospective investors, so itwould have better access to capital. It is because many investors factor CRS intotheir investment decisions.

• Corporate social responsibilities (CRS) might help organization improve financialperformance by establishing a good relationship with prospective investors (1), so itwould have better access to capital (2). It is because many investors factor CRS intotheir investment decisions (3).

• Corporate social responsibilities (CRS) might help an organization improvefinancial performance by establishing a good relationship with prospectiveinvestors (1) → many of whom [link 1 to 3] factor CRS into their investmentdecisions (3) → This would translate into better access to capital (2).

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LINEAR IDEA DEVELOPMENT• My parents, based on our family tradition of majoring in economics, which was

thought to be helpful for me in case I need any family support, advised me to chooseeconomics. Better still, they understood that I prefer social science subjects tonatural science ones so economics would be the best choice for me.

• My parents, based on (1) our family tradition of majoring in economics (2), which wasthought to be helpful for me in case I need any family support (3), advised me tochoose economics (4). Better still, they understood that (5) I prefer social sciencesubjects to natural science ones (6) so economics would be the best choice for me(7).

• Note: (4)=(7) & (1)=(5)• my parents suggested economics (4+7) → their suggestion was based on

several factors (1+5) → a. family tradition (2) (which translates into betterfamily support (3) → b.my own disposition (i.e. my preference for socialscience over natural science) (6)

→ you can also start the other way around (i.e., discuss specific reasons thatlead to parents’ suggestion)

→ there may be more than one good solution when it comes to linearity

• My parents, based on our family tradition of majoring in economics, which wasthought to be helpful for me in case I need any family support, advised me to chooseeconomics. Better still, they understood that I prefer social science subjects tonatural science ones so economics would be the best choice for me.

• My parents, based on (1) our family tradition of majoring in economics (2), which wasthought to be helpful for me in case I need any family support (3), advised me tochoose economics (4). Better still, they understood that (5) I prefer social sciencesubjects to natural science ones (6) so economics would be the best choice for me(7).

• Note: (4)=(7) & (1)=(5)• my parents suggested economics (4+7) → their suggestion was based on

several factors (1+5) → a. family tradition (2) (which translates into betterfamily support (3) → b.my own disposition (i.e. my preference for socialscience over natural science) (6)

→ you can also start the other way around (i.e., discuss specific reasons thatlead to parents’ suggestion)

→ there may be more than one good solution when it comes to linearity

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

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LINEAR IDEA DEVELOPMENT• I have known many kids that have to attend classes outside school, even in

the weekend. They do not have time to do things they like such as: playingwith friends, visiting their grandparents, going fishing, or sharing time withtheir parents, etc. Besides, the lessons from schools are enough for childrento learn. They also have to do a lot of homework.

• Linear development: Point A → Point B → Point C

Point A Point B Point C

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LINEAR IDEA DEVELOPMENT– I have known many kids that have to attend classes outside school,

even in the weekend. They do not have time to do things they like suchas: playing with friends, visiting their grandparents, going fishing, orsharing time with their parents, etc. Besides, the lessons from schoolsare enough for children to learn. They also have to do a lot ofhomework.

– Idea development: the kids have to take extra classes (point B)→ and hence, they hardly have time to do things they want (pointC) → going back to explaining that their main school load isalready heavy enough (point A).

• Non-linear development: Point B → Point C → Point A

– I have known many kids that have to attend classes outside school,even in the weekend. They do not have time to do things they like suchas: playing with friends, visiting their grandparents, going fishing, orsharing time with their parents, etc. Besides, the lessons from schoolsare enough for children to learn. They also have to do a lot ofhomework.

– Idea development: the kids have to take extra classes (point B)→ and hence, they hardly have time to do things they want (pointC) → going back to explaining that their main school load isalready heavy enough (point A).

• Non-linear development: Point B → Point C → Point A


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– I have known many kids that have to attend classes outside school, evenin the weekend. They do not have time to do things they like such as:playing with friends, visiting their grandparents, going fishing, or sharingtime with their parents, etc. Besides, the lessons from schools areenough for children to learn. They also have to do a lot of homework.

– Re-arrange ideas: the kids' school load is already more than enough(point A) → However, they still have to take extra classes (point B) →Consequently, they do not have time to do things they want (point C).


– I have known many kids that have to attend classes outside school, evenin the weekend. They do not have time to do things they like such as:playing with friends, visiting their grandparents, going fishing, or sharingtime with their parents, etc. Besides, the lessons from schools areenough for children to learn. They also have to do a lot of homework.

– Re-arrange ideas: the kids' school load is already more than enough(point A) → However, they still have to take extra classes (point B) →Consequently, they do not have time to do things they want (point C).



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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

• The original text appears to employ all Rheme-Theme patterns.But it’s not really linear. Why so?– I have known many kids that have to attend classes outside school, even

in the weekend. They do not have time to do things they like such as:playing with friends, visiting their grandparents, going fishing, or sharingtime with their parents, etc. Besides, the lessons from schools areenough for children to learn. They also have to do a lot of homework.

– The textual Theme (Besides) is problematic

• The original text appears to employ all Rheme-Theme patterns.But it’s not really linear. Why so?– I have known many kids that have to attend classes outside school, even

in the weekend. They do not have time to do things they like such as:playing with friends, visiting their grandparents, going fishing, or sharingtime with their parents, etc. Besides, the lessons from schools areenough for children to learn. They also have to do a lot of homework.

– The textual Theme (Besides) is problematic

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• Steps:– Break up the text into individual ideas– Re-arrange them in a logically linear order– Identify and eliminate repetitions and/or digressions (if any)

• a common mistake: repeat the same idea using different words– Put back re-organized materials into text

• Steps:– Break up the text into individual ideas– Re-arrange them in a logically linear order– Identify and eliminate repetitions and/or digressions (if any)

• a common mistake: repeat the same idea using different words– Put back re-organized materials into text

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FUN ACTIVITY

• Watch a video and read the lyrics of Teen Vọng cổGeisha.

• Do the lyrics sound coherent to you?• Re-arrange to make them more linear.• A sample solution:

– (combine P2 and P4) Anh là người Việt Nam → lại có người yêucũng là người Việt Nam → không nên đi mơ mộng người đẹp xứkhác → (combine P1 and P3) Nhưng vì anh xem phim Nhậtnhiều, ghiền rồi → trót mê gái Nhật → nên em đành tìm giảipháp → mặc giống gái Nhật

• Watch a video and read the lyrics of Teen Vọng cổGeisha.

• Do the lyrics sound coherent to you?• Re-arrange to make them more linear.• A sample solution:

– (combine P2 and P4) Anh là người Việt Nam → lại có người yêucũng là người Việt Nam → không nên đi mơ mộng người đẹp xứkhác → (combine P1 and P3) Nhưng vì anh xem phim Nhậtnhiều, ghiền rồi → trót mê gái Nhật → nên em đành tìm giảipháp → mặc giống gái Nhật

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• Later on, with the experience associating with the inspiration by successfulbusinesses who overcame their finance problems that I watched on a TV shownamed “Being rich is not tough”, my passion for business was further fueled.

• Later on, with the experience associating with (1) the inspiration by (2) successfulbusinesses who overcame their finance problems (3) that I watched on (4) a TVshow (5) named “Being rich is not tough” (6), my passion for business was furtherfueled (7).

• Notes: (1)=(4) and (2)=(7)• Later on, watching (1+4) "Being rich is not tough," (6) → a TV show (5)

about successful businesses who overcame their financial problems (3) →further fueled my passion for business (2+7).

• Later on, with the experience associating with the inspiration by successfulbusinesses who overcame their finance problems that I watched on a TV shownamed “Being rich is not tough”, my passion for business was further fueled.

• Later on, with the experience associating with (1) the inspiration by (2) successfulbusinesses who overcame their finance problems (3) that I watched on (4) a TVshow (5) named “Being rich is not tough” (6), my passion for business was furtherfueled (7).

• Notes: (1)=(4) and (2)=(7)• Later on, watching (1+4) "Being rich is not tough," (6) → a TV show (5)

about successful businesses who overcame their financial problems (3) →further fueled my passion for business (2+7).

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SENT-IN HOMEWORK 1• For session 8:

– for the remaining passages• Task 1: re-arrange ideas to make it more linearly• Task 2: re-write the whole paragraph, trying to create as many R-T transitions as

possible.– Send your answers to the instructor via email ([email protected])

before session 7.– Format: name the essay file as follows

» First Name - Last & Middle names - Class Name - Homework number - Versionnumber

» For example: Nguyen Van An from Thieu Nang 02-2013 should name the first draft ofhis first homework as follows

» An - Nguyen Van - TN 02-2013 - HW 1 - Ver 1.doc» Do NOT use Vietnamese characters in the file name.

– Note:» Type your response in a WORD file and send in via email as attachment» Use the same line for your email subject.

• For session 8:– for the remaining passages

• Task 1: re-arrange ideas to make it more linearly• Task 2: re-write the whole paragraph, trying to create as many R-T transitions as

possible.– Send your answers to the instructor via email ([email protected])

before session 7.– Format: name the essay file as follows

» First Name - Last & Middle names - Class Name - Homework number - Versionnumber

» For example: Nguyen Van An from Thieu Nang 02-2013 should name the first draft ofhis first homework as follows

» An - Nguyen Van - TN 02-2013 - HW 1 - Ver 1.doc» Do NOT use Vietnamese characters in the file name.

– Note:» Type your response in a WORD file and send in via email as attachment» Use the same line for your email subject.

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LAST LAUGH

• Context:– Ross and Rachel were lovers. They broke up after a big fight, even

though they clearly still have feeling for each other.– Ross then had an one-night-stand with another girl, which leads to

Rachel accusing him of being “unfaithful.” Ross denied this, saying thatthey were on a break.

– And then, they all went away one weekend with a group of closefriends. Ross brought Bonnie, his new girlfriend.

– And Rachel got jealous and tried to win Ross back…• Watch the video clip and answer the following questions:

– Any part reminds you of linearity?– what does “it” refer to?

• Context:– Ross and Rachel were lovers. They broke up after a big fight, even

though they clearly still have feeling for each other.– Ross then had an one-night-stand with another girl, which leads to

Rachel accusing him of being “unfaithful.” Ross denied this, saying thatthey were on a break.

– And then, they all went away one weekend with a group of closefriends. Ross brought Bonnie, his new girlfriend.

– And Rachel got jealous and tried to win Ross back…• Watch the video clip and answer the following questions:

– Any part reminds you of linearity?– what does “it” refer to?

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Microsoft PowerPoint - Thieu Nang - Session 6

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