FALL FASHIONTHE NEW PORNOGRAPHERSTHE GO! TEAMNICHOLAS GUREWITCHWE ARE WOLVES

VOL 5 ISSUE 42 • FREE

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TABLE OF CONTENTS18 Editor’sLetterTake fashion advice from a clueless slob who chooses his outfit everyday based on whatever has the fewest coffee stains on it. 20 IONthePrize 22 OftheMonthVideo games that take place in underwater dystopias, a whole

lot of subtitled movies, coffee table books about art, dogs that smell your butt and our BC Fashion Week Party.

58 TalesofOrdinaryMadnessMore made up stories about Sam getting a date. Like that’ll ever happen.

59 Horoscopes Vancouver fashion designer Christina Culver throws down the needle and thread and looks at the stars to give you this month’s horoscopes. When that didn’t work out she rented Mommie Dearest.

60 ThePerryBibleFellowship

CULTURE26 NicholasGurewitchAll your questions about the genius who does the comics

at the back of the magazine are finally answered.

FASHION28 TheSlumsofBeverlyHillsGet ready for some LA Trash with this fashion edito rial shot by Odette Sugarman.36 FlightClubA gravity defying fashion editorial shot by Kate Szatmari.

MUSIC44 WeAreWolvesAn article on a Montreal Wolf Band and no, you aren’t reading an issue of ION from 2005. 48 TheGo!TeamYou know the scene in Merry Christmas Charlie Brown when

Snoopy and the Peanuts gang are all dancing? You can play every Go! Team song and it’ll sync up perfectly.

50 TheNewPornographersWe swear we requested to speak to the drummer. 54 PosterArt:JeremyWilsonIt was only a matter of time before Caturday hit the

telephone poles of Toronto. 56 AlbumReviews 57 FivetoOne:ThomasBangalterShamefully, we are dorky enough to spot the guys from Daft Punk when they’re not in their robot costumes

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Volume5Number7Issue42

Publisher VanessaLeighvanessa@ionmagazine.ca

EditorinChief MichaelManneditor@ionmagazine.caFashionEditor VanessaLeighfashion@ionmagazine.caFilmEditor MichaelMannfilm@ionmagazine.caMusicEditor TrevorRisktrevor@ionmagazine.caCopyEditor JessicaGrajczyk,SamKerrEditorialIntern PatriciaMatos

PhotoEditor FionaGardenphotos@ionmagazine.caArtDirector DannyFaziodanny@ionmagazine.caAssociateArtDirector ErinAshenhursterin@ionmagazine.caDesignAssistant LeslieMaleslie@ionmagazine.ca

Advertising JennyGoodmanjenny@ionmagazine.caAdvertisingAccountsManager NatashaNealenatasha@ionmagazine.ca

ContributingWriters:NojanAminosharei,ChadR.Buchholz,ChristinaCulver,JosephDelamar,AmandaFarrell,JessicaGracjczyk,FilmoreMescalitoHol-mes,SamKerr,PatriciaMatos,ClaytonPierrot,Dr.IanSuper,NatalieVermeer

ContributingPhotographersandGraphicDesigners:TobyMarieBannister,EliseBeneteau,NicholasGurewitch,KrisKrüg,JasonLang,MarianneLarochelle,TylerQuarles,OdetteSugarman,OllieSmith,LesterSmolenski,KateSzatmari

IONisprinted10timesayearbytheIONPublishingGroup.NopartsofIONMagazinemaybereproducedinanyformbyanymeanswithoutpriorwrit-tenconsentfromthepublisher.IONwelcomessubmissionsbutacceptsnoresponsibilityforthereturnofunsolicitedmaterials.Allcontent©CopyrightIONMagazine2007

HeyPRpeople,publicists,brandmanagersandlabelfriends,sendusstuff.High-resolutionjpegsareniftyandall,butit’snosubstitutefortherealthing.Clothing,liquor,Wiis,CDs,vinyl,DVDs,videogames,andaniPhonecanbesenttotheaddressbelow.Heywait,dotheyevenselliPhonesinCanadayet?Wedon’tcare.Justmakeithappen.

3rdFloor,300WaterStreet.Vancouver,BC,Canada.V6B1B6Office604.696.9466Fax:604.696.9411www.ionmagazine.cafeedback@ionmagazine.ca

Cover:Photo-FionaGardenforNOBASURA,ArtDirection-DannyFazio,Illustration-EliseBeneteau,Styling-LeilaBaniforTHEYrep.com,Makeup-CaitlinCallahanforNOBASURAusingM.A.C,Model-XyliaatLizBellAgency

XyliaisWearing:GrillzcourtesyofMartiniatDipt,Necklace-Noir@BlueRuby,CrystalHoopEarrings-ElsaCorsi@Jeweliette,Rings@Jeweliette,Bangle@BlueRuby,TankTop@Bang-On

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You’resittingquietlyeatingdinnerwithyoupart-ner.Engaginginsomepoliteconversationaboutthe weather with your partner.Then smash! Anelite fighting force of sharply dressed men bustthroughyourdoorandwindows.You’vejustbeenbustedbythefashionpolice.Whatdoyoudohot-shot?Whatdoyoudo?Wellit’sfall,soforalotofusthatmeanshittingthepavementforafashionforwardstyle.Butallowmetosuggestsomethingelse:lookingbacktolastyear’sHalloweenforanironicnewtrend.

Idon’tgiveashitabout theguy in the ironicheavymetalshirtandcheapsunglasses. Samegoesforthegirlwithfeatheredhair inAmericanApparel shortsanda shirt thathas some inanesayinginbiglettersonthefront.Youtooguywhospends 12 hours a week scavenging vintagestoresforyouroutfits.Whitegirlironicallyembrac-inghiphopfashionespecially.

People who are unintentionally ironic are adifferent story though. I do care about this oneguywhowearsahandmadehempnetoverhisclothes.Ifyousawthisguyonthestreetandyoumightmistakehimforahomelesspersonbuthe’snot—I’m pretty sure he isn’t even a hippy. He’sjustlikeswearinganetandhasbeendoingsoforyears.HecarrieshimselfwellandforthatIsalutehim.Hemighthavethebeststyleinthecountry.

You might be spot a bunch of frat boys andcatch yourself saying“Why haven’t the fashionpolice sniper squad taken these losersoutwithheadshotsalready?”Thereasonisfratboyshavegreatstyleifyoulookatitasanironicstatement.Withtheir“CanadaKicksAss”shirts,sandalsandtribalarmbandtattoos.TakethesepeopleoutoftheTragicallyHipconcertandputtheminadiffer-entsettingandthey’rethecoolestdressedpeoplein the room. If they only knew how wonderfullyironictheiroutfitswere.

Ironycanbe your friend too if you’remindfulnottolooklikeatry-hard.HowaboutdressingasaMedievalbarwenchchic?Romaneunuch?Abrideonherweddingday?Goth,hippie,Shriner,orcarnie?Ifyoudon’tfitintoanyofthosegroups,

merelygettingatattooonyourfacewouldworknicely as well.There are a thousand great newlooksoutthereifyoujustputyourmindtoit.Justbecarefulnot to take it too faror you’reaskingfortrouble.AllowmetocitePrinceHarryandthattimehedresseduplikeaNaziforalaugh.Abitclosertohome,Iknowaguywhopickedafightwith another guy in a wheelchair because hethought itwassome lameattemptat irony (theguyneededthewheelchairbutthat’sbesidethepoint).

The next time fashion police come a knockknocking, answer the door wearing pants for ashirt,ashirtforpantsandaccessorizewithshoesonyourhands.Ironicfashionisthewaytogo,youjustneedtobeclever.Somesaysarcasmisthelowestformofhumour.Isaypeoplewhosaythatareboringtohangoutwith.That’stheonlystylelesson I can impart on you.That and Uggs arehellacomfortableandyouonlymakefunofthem‘causeyou’rejealous.Jealous!

STYLERONY WordsMichaelMannPhotography TobyMarieBannister

The new fragrance

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LAdY dUTCHPhotographyOllieSmith

Theprizethismonthisaselectionofcloth-ingfromLadyDutch.Thisrelativelyyoung,Montreal-basedbrandhasquicklybecomea favourite among celebrity stylists. TheFall 2007 collection features an eclecticcombination of contemporary, retro andNapoleonicinfluences,accentedwithfem-inine embellishments, rich textures andmultiple prints. With such modern, chicand affordable pieces to choose from, agirlhasonelessthingtoworryaboutwhileplottingworlddomination.

Toenter,gotowww.ionmagazine.ca

Hair & Make-up MayaGoldenberg ModelMeganJones

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dVdTHE PAGE TuRNERIf ever there were an award for an actress whocanscare theshitoutof you,giveyouaboner,andyet somehowmakeyou feel totallyateaseallinonemomentwithouteversayingawordormoving a muscle, Deborah Francois would winhands down. In The Page Turner, Francois playsMelanie, a butcher’s daughter and once-aspir-ingyoungpianistwhosedreamsarecrushedasachildwhenshefailsanimportantexamatthehands of a thoughtless juror – famous pianistMadame Fouchecourt (Catherine Frot). FlashforwardtoMelanieasademureadolescentwhoslinksher (unrecognized)way into thehomeofFouchecourtasanannyandtakesusonathrill-ing journey as she subtly hints at how she willavengethedeathofheryoungpianocareer.Willshemerelydrownthepianist’ssoninthefamilypool?Theendresultimpliesamoreintricateplanthanonecouldimagineandshedslightontheut-terdevastationthatyoungMelaniemusthaveex-periencedtoinspiresuchmalice.Sheisrevealedas a master manipulator, whose victim hurtlesalmostwillinglyintoherownultimatedemise.

dVdBLAck BOOkSubtlety has never been a strong point for di-rector Paul Verhoeven. Namely because there’sbeenabsolutelynothingsubtleaboutanyofhisamazingandmemorablefilmslikeRobocop, Total Recall, Basic Instinct, Starship Troopers and Show-girls (Yeah, that’s right,we loveShowgirls.Gotaproblemwithit?).Everyoneofhisfilmstakesyouinto a hyper-real world where actions, attitudesandemotionsareexaggeratedtenfold.Soitonlyseems fitting that Verhoeven would tackle themost ruthless event of the 20th Century: WW2.RachelStein—playedbythestunningCaricevanHoutenwhoisslatedtobethenextBondgirl—isaJewishsingerhidingfromtheGestapoinNazioccupiedHolland.Whenthingsheatupsheplansanescape toalliedoccupied territory thatgoeshorriblywrongandseesherwindupinthearmsoftheResistance.Beforesheknowsitshe’swork-ingundercoverforthenandseducingtheleaderoftheDutchSD,Himmler’sintelligenceorganiza-tion.Butthentheyfall inloveand,afteraseriesofmysteriousbetrayals,theNazisandtheResis-tanceareafterbothofthem.Forallitsactionandintrigue,theonlythingBlack Bookismissingisacrazypoolsexscene.

dVdTHE LIvES OF OTHERSUlrich Mühe had an uncanny Kevin-Spacey-likeability toportrayutter innerdeath. InthisOscar-winning German film, Mühe (having recentlypassed away in July due to stomach cancer)plays Stasi Captain GerdWiesler, a surveillanceexpertworkingfortheStateSecretPoliceinEastGermany just before the collapse of the BerlinWall.Wiesler,anobsessedprotectoroftheState,is ordered to surveil playwright Georg Dreyman(SebastianKoch)whenacorruptandpervertedoldgovernmentofficialsuddenlyfeelstheneedtounearthincriminatingevidence(hejusthappenstobedoingthewriter’sflakyactressgirlfriend).Asthe surveillance commences, Wiesler’s love forthe State quickly dwindles as he begins to livevicariouslythroughthepassionatelivesofartistswhose careers are being strangled to death byStateblacklisting. Weisler’sawakening fromhisrobot-likededicationtoexposingtraitorsagainstSocialismistear-jerkingandwonderfultowatch.PerhapsMühe’soutstandingperformanceinthisfilmspeakstohisreal-lifeexperienceasanEastGermantheatreactorwhoexperiencedStasisur-veillancefirst-hand.

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GAmEBIOSHOckOhheyit’s1960andwelcometothecityofRap-ture.It’saprettynormalplace.Wellokay,it’sun-derwater. Iguessitshouldalsobenotedthatithouses all world’s greatest minds. See they gottiredofsapslikeyouandmesotheybuiltthem-selves an underwater libertarian utopia wheretheycouldhangoutandnothavetodealwiththegovernmentandscientistswouldn’tbeboundbypettymorality.Oh,andallthesepeoplethenwentinsane and started killing each other. Oh, andtherearelittlegirlswhogoaroundscavengingallthebodiesofthedeadthatareprotectedbybigclunkyrobots.Oh,andtherearekioskswhereyoucangetyourbodymodified.Butinsteadofgettingthefatsuckedoutofyourthighsandinjectedyourlips, your genes get rewritten so you can shootfireballs,electricityandbeesoutofyourhand.Butasidefromthesettingfor thisamazingnewfirstpersonshooter,Raptureisaprettynormalplace.

PETBuDSome people prefer small dogs because theyareincapableofthefull-steam-ahead-nose-dive-into-the-crotch-regiontypegreetingthatmostbigdogsare fondof. But thenagain, somepeopledon’t mind that.Take Bud’s owner for example,whoseemstobegettingthebestofbothworlds.It’sawin-winsituation,really.Budistheenvyofallhislittledogfriendssincehealwaysgetsthebestseatinthehouse,andcamo-dudegetssomeinsulated baby-maker protection. Now that’s atrusting relationship. Sendyouranimalpicturesto pet@ionmagazine.ca. If we use them, we’llgiveyouaprizethatpalesincomparisontohav-ingyourpetimmortalizedinprint.

STORETHREE MONkEySThisMontrealboutiquerecentlycelebratedthreeyearsofbringingfresh,independentlocaldesignsandcarefullyselectedglobalbrandstotheirlimit-ed-edition-streetwear-lovingclientele.Locatedinthetrendyshoppingcenter,LesCoursMontRoyal,ThreeMonkeysboaststhewidestselectionoflo-caldesignersValerieDumaine,TravisTaddeo,andLydiaLukidis,alongsideinternationallineslikeArt-fulDodgerandBoxfresh.Theboutiqueisalwaysonthelookoutforfreshnewtalenttoaddtotheirinventoryandbuildontheirreputationforbeingtheplacetopickupexclusivepiecesnotavailableonamassscaleatyourlocalclothingchain.ThelatestadditiontotheirinventoryisInsight,afash-ion-forwardsurfwearlineoutofAustralia.

1455 Peel. Suite 217. Les Cours Mont Royal 514.284.1333www.threemonkeys.ca

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BOOKIcE cREAMThisisnotjustashiny,prettybook,butthelatestin a series (Cream, Fresh Cream and Cream 3)from world-renown art book publisher, Phaidon,aiming toexpose thebestofemergingcontem-poraryartists. Phaidonchose10 internationallyesteemedcuratorstonominate10artistsasthestarsandtrendsettersoftomorrow.Eachcuratoralsoselectedonesourceartistfromthepastwhomade inspirational impact onboth the featuredartistsandthecuratorsthemselves.Theresultisanexerciseincross-examinationofinfluenceandinnovationspanningover25countriesaswellasgenerations (artist ages range from 27 to 89),with an overwhelming theme of cultural global-ization. Look forVancouver based artists BrianJungen—whose Nike Airs turned Native maskswe’ve recently seen at the Vancouver Art Gal-lery,andTimLee—whosehumourousphotoandvideo installations feature himself doing thingslike experimenting with levitation and bangingout Public Enemy beats on a drum kit to nearphysicalexhaustion.Notonlyisthisbookneattolookatontheinsideandout,butitwillalsomakeyousoundlikeyou’vereallygotyourfingeronthepulseofthecontemporaryartworld.

CONTRIBUTORPATRIcIA MATOSIt’s been less than six months since this fresh-facedjournalismgradsteppedintoION’sofficeasan intern.Nowshecontributes regularly toboththemagazine,andaravenousprescriptiondrughabit.The latter is totally unrelated, she swears.They’re free,all right?Askheranything,andshewill come up with not only an answer, but use-lesssupplementaryinformationthatwillnodoubtleave youwonderingwhy youevenbothered toask what she thinks of Stevie Wonder becauseshe just acted out 10 minutes of High Fidelity. Patricia likes collecting records and not lettingpeopletouchthem,flat-facedkittensandmakingkickassmusicmixes.Ifshesuddenlydisappears,please contact the Canadian embassy in HongKong.

Photography by Kris Krüg

PARTYWE LOvE FASHIONCovetandRedkenUrbanExperimentpresent“WeLove FashION,” our annual party to wrap up BCFashionWeekwhichrunsfromSeptember24to29.ThepartytakeplaceonSaturday,September29andwillgofrom9tillthecopsshutusdownoreveryonelapses intoafun-inducedcoma.Soputonyournicestoutfit,yourbestpairofdanc-ingshoesandpreparetohavethemcompletelywrecked in an orgy of alcohol, dancing and fri-volity.You better fix up and look sharp becausethere’sa strict no slobsallowedandwewill bechecking to make sure you’re manicured at thedoor.ChecktheIONwebsitefordetails.

www.bcfashionweek.comwww.covetthis.comwww.urbanexperiment.com

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PERRY BIBLE STUdIESNICHOLAS GUREwITCHWords PatriciaMatos

Aweirdthinghappenswhenyoureada PerryBibleFellowshipcomic.Panelafterbrilliantpanelleadsthe mind to a mildly obsessive state where onestripisn’tenough.Thereadermusthavemore,aperversereactiontothesuccinctmannerinwhichit’s created. Similarly, the same occurs whenspeakingtoitscreator,NicholasGurewitch.Some-timeshissoftvoiceisliketalkingtoalucidCrispinGlover,butwithafarsanerheadonhisshoulders,anditshouldcomeasnosurprisethatGurewitchis actually quite funny.You want to know more,andheobliges,oftencoursingtheconversationtocolourfulareas.WithanewbookcalledThe Trial of Colonel Sweeto and Other Stories (DarkHorse)beingreleasedthis fall,25-year-oldGurewitch ispoised to take on a new audience with his col-lectionofcomicsoldandnew,eachoneasdiffer-entlycraftedastheonebeforeit.SowhatmakesamanlikeGurewitchtick?Isheacrazed,holed-upartist,orjustaregularguy?Well,he’sneither.Butthisworksinhisfavour.

“Wehaveahotdayhere.ImustadmitIsweatwhen Idon’tdomuch,”saysGurewitchover thephonefromhisRochester,NYhome.Rightoffthebatyouknowhe’seithergoingtobeunabashedandcandid,ortakeyouforaride.Beingthatmanyknowlittleabouthim,surelyhe’sdonebothdur-ingthecourseofthisconversation.

Gurewitchhasbeendoingart foryears,andhas only recently launched a permanent PBFwebsite, the previous one hosted on that ofa friend’s. Since then the PBF—he insists on“the”—hasbeenfeaturedinmagazinesandpa-persallovertheworld,includingthisshinylittlenumber.

It’sbeensaidthatGurewitchprefersNickratherthanNicholas,exceptwhen itcomestowomen,“Nicholas ismyname,but for the sakeofbrev-ity,Nickworks. I think Idig[Nicholas]‘cause it’sasignyou’resavouringthemomentifyou’renotrushingthings.”TakingthingsslowlyissomethingGurewitchseemsofttodo,especiallywhencreat-

inghisstrips.Despiteanarchivespanningsomefewyears,heclaimstohavejustunder240com-ics,hardlyenoughforadeskcalendar.

He even takes time out of each day to “dipinto” the 4,000-some-odd books he inheritedfromhisgrandfatherMortonGurewitch,perhapsbestknownforhisbooksonsatire.“I’mnotsureifhe’sfamous,butlotsofpeoplelookuptohimbecausehe’swrittenalotaboutsatireandcom-edy.He’sgota lotofdifferent theoriesonhowcomedyoperates.”

The Syracuse University film grad is lucky tohavehadthePBFworkoutsowell,ashedoesn’thaveadayjobandjustrecentlymovedoutofhisfamily’shouse,“Ioccasionallydo illustrationsformy local newspaper. But other than that I don’treallyreachouttodootherthings.Ihaveahardenoughtimedrawingonecomiceachweek.”Thisdoesn’t mean Gurewitch bides his time workingsolelyonthePBF,“Therearelotsofprioritiesthatoverride the comic, or override doing advertise-ments for people. I’ll do a poster for my buddywho’sputtingonaconcertorsomething.Iguessit’snotcommercialinthetruesenseofthetermbecausehedoesn’tpayme.”

That’s pretty nice of him. Surely his generos-ityandmadartskillsrakeintheladies,“Doesit?Maybeyoucouldtellme.”Iwouldn’tbeunhappyifthiswasaline,butcheekinessasideItellGur-ewitch if the artist is good, then yes.“I guess ifyou’re bad, or if you’re not successful, maybe ithas a whole bunch of really bad connotations,”saysGurewitch.“Inoticealotofpeoplearen’tre-ally impressedwhenI tell themIdocomics.Butifyoutellthemthatit’spublishedinamagazinethattheyknow,theireyebrowswillraiseandthey’llkindofgetintoit.Theword‘comic’doesn’tevokealotofexcitementforpeople.”

Fans of the PBF are always excited for hisoften-weekly installments, and they don’t evenminditwhenGurewitchgets“occasionally”dirty,thoughthisdisturbshimalittle.Still,helovesto

seehis imaginationpourontoapageevenif itdoesn’t always translate, “Occasionally some-thingwillmakemelaughmyassoff,andthenI’lltrytofindawaytodoit,orI’lldoitandI’lllookatitlaterandit’sjustnotquitecomingacross,”hesays.“Ilovewatercolours.Ilikewatchingthewa-terdoalotofthework…It’snotalwayswhatyouintend,but itgivesyou theopportunity toworkwithsurprisesalotmore.”

And it is no surprise Gurewitch has such anintenseimagination;twoofhisfavouritecomicsareCalvinandHobbesandTheFarSide.Pinnedtogetherinaprisonfight,whowouldwin?“IthinkBill Watterson has a stronger imagination, so Ihaveafeelinghe’dprobablyusehisenvironmenttooutwitGaryLarson,whoIassumetobeslowand perhaps Neanderthal-like in his motions.Onlybecauseofhiscomics,”Gurewitchmuses.“MaybeLarsoncouldtakeavictoryifitgotdowntousinghisfingernailsandteeth.‘CauseIthinkheknowsalotaboutanimalsandheseemslikeaprettywildguy.”

“It’dbeawesometodrawCalvin’simagination,”Gurewitch says.“I’d love to visit his imaginationanddrawsomemoredinosaurs.Ihaven’tdoneadinosaurcomicinawhile.”Healsohasn’tdoneafilmshortinawhile.NotlongagoGurewitchwasslatedtodoaninternetshortcalledTheDaisyGar-denStoryTime,butthedealfellthrough.“Iguesstheprogramwascraftedtobeeightminutes.Theycalledtheinstallments‘webisodes’orsomethingfunny like that…then theguys toldme ithad tobefiveminutes,and then they toldme ithad tobethree.Theneventuallytheysaidthepreferabletimespanfortheprogramhadtobebetweenoneand two minutes,” he says.“I really couldn’t getintothat‘causeIthinkitneededtobelonger.”

That’s not to say he won’t delve into“webi-sodes”inthefuture,butfornowGurewitchisbusyenoughwithhisfirstbookonthehorizon.ThePBFshouldbeabookof life lessons.Childrenwouldbeallthebetterforit.“Therearealotoflessons

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inthecomicsthatIthinkwouldhavealotofcorrec-tiveeffectsonachild’sgrowth,butsomeofthemIthinkwouldbetooconfusingtobeworththeirtime,”says Gurewitch of the suggestion. He’s just beinghardonhimself.Buttheonlyrealcriticismhetakesabout his work is what’s useful,“I suppose whensomeonesays it’snot funny.Thatmakesmewanttotryharder.”

Gurewitchevenchecksononeofhisseveralon-linecommunitiesonce inawhile, thoughhesaysthe“commentsaremostlynegative.”He’snotwaryof the Internet,butunderstands thedifferencebe-tweenonlinepopularityversusreal-worldpopularity,“I think there’sadistinct typeofperson that feelstheneedtobroadcasttheirfeelingsonline.AndthemoreIthink,thosepeoplewhowanttomaketheiropinionsknown,orwhoshouttheloudest,areprob-

ablytheonesyoushouldlistentotheleast.Inmostcases.”

When he’s not on the Internet or drawing hiscomics, Gurewitch has hobbies just like you andI.His favouritefilmis2001: A Space Odyssey,andcountsHarryBelafonteandPatsyClineamonghisfavouritemusicians.HismostshamefulCDiscalledWizards,“There’s four really dorky-looking peopleon the cover and they play classical instruments.Andit’scompletelyembarrassingbutit’sactuallyallright.”Ipresshimfurther.“Trulybadalbums?IguessIlikeallmyCDs.”Damn.

Gurewitchlikesredwineonoccasion,cangrowa full beard in about a month’s time and lovesmeetingstrangers, “Andsometimesharassingordoing surprising things with them. That’s prob-ablygoingtosoundterrible.Ilovesayinghelloto

strangers,let’sjustsaythat.”This may or may not include some of his fans,

ofwhichhedescribesasweirdkids,“Igota lettertheotherdaybywhatseemedlikeayoung’un.Heseemedtoappreciatethecomicsaboutaliens.ButIthinkhewassci-fioriented.Hesoundedlikeanor-malkid,butmaybehehadalittlebitofanaffinityforthebizarre,”Gurewitchsays.“Ithinkthat’swhatthe bizarre quality is of the comic; it’s what getspeopleinterestedinitinternationally.Therearealotofweirdpeopleoutthere.Theyneedart,too.”

And on this drippingly hotAugust day in Roch-ester,whichPBFcomicwouldbesuitable?“I thinkit’sthetypeofdayforthecomicabouttheguywhogoesafterthegopher,[An End to Gopher Trouble].Justbecause,Idon’tknow,it’sasevereday.”

HillsTHE SLUMS

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PhotograPhy Odette Sugarman for theyrep.com Produced by Sage Seb

Styling by Leila Bani for theyrep.comMakeuP Elaine Offers for amgmt.com

hair Jeremy Clark for amgmt.comModel Bar Pally for visionlosangeles.com

PhotograPhy aSSiStant Robb EpifanoProP StyliSt John Geary

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MAKEUP/HAIR Sylvie Mazerolle atJudyInc www.judyinc.comSTYLINGBY Annie Lam atPlutinoGroup www.plutinogroup.com

MODELS Gregory, Peter atElmerOlsenwww.elmerolsenmodels.comCameron, Josh atElite www.elitemodels.com

PHOTOGRAPHYASSISTANT DarylMAKEUP/HAIRASSISTANT Brandi

PhotograPhy Kate Szatmari www.kateszphoto.com

PREVIOUS SPREAD: LEFT Shirt, J Lindeberg; Sweater, Junk de Luxe; Pants, Ben Sherman; Shoes, Lacoste. RIGHT Shirt, Lacoste; Sweater Vest, Ringspun; Pants, Ringspun; Shoes, J Lindeberg. THIS SPREAD: LEFT TO RIGHT 1.Short Sleeve Shirt, Elvis Jesus; Long Sleeve Shirt, Energie; Pants, J Lindeberg; Belt, Energie; Shoes. Lacoste. 2.Shirt, Energie; Sweater, Junk de Luxe; Pants, Energie; Belt, Energie; Boots, J Lindeberg. 3.Shirt, Energie; Blazer, Ringspun; Pants, Energie; Shoes, Prada at Brown’s Shoes. 4.Shirt, J Lindeberg; Dress Shirt and Jacket, Penguin; Jeans, Monarchy; Belt, Energie; Shoes, Prada at Brown’s Shoes.

LEFT TO RIGHT 1.Shirt, Energie; Jacket, Ben Sherman; Pants, Energie; Belt, Energie; Shoes, Prada at Brown’s Shoes. 2.Shirt, House of the Gods; Jeans, GSUS; Suspenders, Belt and Shoes, J Lindeberg. 3.Shirt, Hoodie, Pants and Belt, Energie; Boots, J Lindeberg. 4.Shirt, Monarchy; Hoodie, Energie; Jeans, Jet Lag; Belt, Energie; Shoes, Lacoste.

LEFT TO RIGHT 1.Shirt, GSUS; Jacket, Ben Sherman; Pants, J Lindeberg; Shoes, Prada at Brown’s Shoes. 2.Shirt, Monarchy; Vest, Ringspun; Pants, GSUS; Belt, Energie; Shoes, Prada at Brown’s Shoes. 3.Shirt, GSUS; Tie, Energie; Pants, Ben Sherman; Belt, J Lindeberg; Shoes, Cesare Paciotti at Brown’s Shoes. 4.Shirt, Lacoste; Hoodie, Monarchy; Jeans, Lacoste; Belt, Energie; Shoes, Lacoste.

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dO YOU BELIEVE IN mAGIQUE?wE ARE wOLVESWords MichaelMann PhotographyMarianneLarochelle

Therearea lotof reasonswhyonecouldshrugoffWeAreWolveswithouteverlisteningtothem.There’snodenyingtheyareatrendyandartywolfbandfromMontreal.Yes,weallgotpulledasideatsomepointlastyearbysomeastuteobserverof culture who said you might not be aware of this but there are quite a few bands with “wolf” in their name out there these days.Asoff-puttingasthismaybe,therearealotmorereasonswhyyoushouldembraceLesLoupesandtheirspazzy,dancefloorfriendlyelectro-rock.

Consisting ofAlexander Ortiz on lead vocalsand bass, Vincent Levesque on keyboards andAntonin Marquis on Drums, the band formedwhen they met in an arts program after highschool. Despite their strong involvement in filmand the visual arts,Marquis is quick todismissthat the band started off as some ironic artschool joke.“We never took ourselves seriouslybutwenevertookitasajoke.Weformedaroundtheyear2000butwedidn’thaveanameuntil2004.Weweren’tplayinganyshowseither.Wejustlearnedtoplayourinstrumentsandchangedlineupsalot.Iusedtoplayguitar,thenbass,nowdrums.We’vesettleddownnow.Forfouryearsitwasreallyaworkinprogressandacreativepro-cess. It hadno vocalseither. Itwas reallyartsy.Morethanitisnow.Nowit’sartsyrock.”

The trio released their2005debutNon Stop Je Te Plie en Deux onFatPossum,aMississippi-based blues label, of all places. If that soundslike an odd fit you’re not alone. “We couldn’tfigureoutwhywecouldn’tbe representedbyaMontrealbasedlabelatfirst.NoCanadianlabelswereinterestedintheband.WeknewaboutFatPossum but we never would have thought ofsending them a record. But the owner was re-allyenthusiasticabouttheprojectsowethoughtokay,letsdoit.”Despitethelabel’senthusiasm,Marquis acknowledges their debut had a fewshortcomings.“Forus itwas really likeademo.It’sall thesongswehadat thepoint. It’sa tutti

fruttielectro-rockrecord...Wewereverycriticalaboutthefirstrecord.Wewereunsatisfiedwithalotofthings.Likehowcomethereweren’tmoreemotional songs on the first record. It’s all thesametempo.Soweknewwhatwedidn’twantforthesecondrecord.”

Allinall,theband’sexperienceonFatPossumwasapositiveonebuttheyhavesincefoundanewlabelabitcloser tohome.This fall the trioareset to release theirsophomorealbum,Total Magique onMontreal’sDaretoCareRecords,thehome of Malajube and the recently broken upLesGeorgesLeningrad,“We feelmorecomfort-ablenow.ThebandsontherosteratDaretoCarearemorelikeus.Itfeelsmorelikeafamily.”

Thoughtheirdebutmayhaveunder-performedsaleswise, thebandhasbuilt a solid fanbasethroughtheirliveshowsandhavearepforbeingoneofCanada’sbestliveacts.Marquissaysthetrick for delivering a blistering set night in andnightoutissimple.“Idon’tlookattheaudience.I’m just really into my music.We have this oldstoryonourfirsttour,whichwaswithAndYouWillKnow Us by theTrail of Dead andThe (Interna-tional)NoiseConspiracy.WewereonourwaytomeettheminColorado.Wehadliketwoorthreegigs before that. One of them was in Iowa Cityandwewere totally unknownandplayed thereforoneguy.I’mnotkiddingandI’mprettysureweputonthesameshowfor500peopleinMontreal.Maybeitsoundsbanal,butwe’rereallyintorock‘n’roll.Webelieveinenergy.Forallthetechnicalaspects thatwe’re lacking,we’reputtingallourenergy into the liveperformance.”Energymightbe an understatement to describeThe Wolves’live show, especially Marquis, who plays drumsstandingup.“Rockingthedancefloor.Ilovethat,”heexclaims.“That’salwaysbeenourdilemmaasfarasthisbandisconcerned.Atsomepointoneoftheguyswilllistentotoomuchrock‘n’rollandit’slike‘we’retoomuchrock.’ThentheJusticere-cordcomesoutand‘we’renotelectroenough.’”

Regardlessifonewouldclassifythemaselec-tro-rock or rock-electro, the biggest struggle forthebandhasbeenbringingtheenergyfromtheirlive sets into the studio, and Marquis worries ifthis issomething theywereevenable todoonTotal Magique.“WeAreWolveslivesoundsacer-tainway.I’malwayswonderingwhenpeoplebuyour recordafter theshow likewhat thehellaretheygoingtothinkwhentheygethome.” It’sasafebettherewon’tbemanydisappointedfans,longtimeornewlyconverted,whothrowon Total Magique after a live show. Far more palatablealbum than theirdebut—whichwas ladenwitharty and experimental instrumental tracks thatdidn’t lend itself well for home listening—thenewdiscisalsofarmorelyrical.Someofsongs,like“WalkAwayWalk”areborderlineradiofriend-ly.“Wedefinitelywanted tobemorepoppy.Welistentopopmusicallthetime.WeallloveJustinTimberlake.Whatever,man.”

With We Are Wolves’ terrific new album andliveshow,theonlythingstoppingyoufromjoin-ingthepackis,well,thatthey’reawolfband.TherefreshinglyegofreeAntoninMarquis, thoughalittlesickofgettingaskedabouttheband’subiq-uitouslupinemoniker,ishappytopointoutthat“We’vehad thatnamesince2004so thatwasbeforetheotherwolvesthatyouguysknowandarebiglikeWolfParadeandWolfmother.Wegotthe name before that. But who wants to knowthat?And who cares?We’re in a wolf band sowegetthatquestionallthetimebecausewe’renotsofamous.‘Ohthey’rejusttryingtogetintothetrend.’It’ssuchafunnything.AtthatpointweknewofGuitarWolfandthat’sit.Nootherwolves.Then all those wolf bands exploded and wewerelike‘We’refucked.’Weeventhoughtaboutchangingthenameandstuffbutintheendit’sus and it’s just a coincidence so what can wedo?Now,Idon’treallycareanymore.”Andneithershouldyou.

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YOUNG EmCEESTHE GO! TEAmWords NatalieVermeerIllustrationEliseBeneteau

TheGo!Teamisateamthatalwayswins.Whenthey aren’t making you clap and cheer with ab-girl stance, they’re lulling you into a tropicalholidaydream.Their newalbum,Proof of Youth,deliversnolessvarietyandexcitementthantheiramazing debut, Thunder, Lightning, Strike. Thisnewalbumis likeoneofthoseclevermixtapeswhere you don’t need to skip any songs sinceyouhaveahappymixofallsortsandnosongsdrag.ThemixincludeseverythingfromStereolabtoSpiceGirlstoChuckD—whoactuallymakesaguest appearance on Proof of Youth. His vocalsaren’tasup front in themixasyou’dexpectashewasgiventheGo!Teamtreatment,saysleademcee,Ninja—whichbasicallymeanshisvocalsarefuzzywithlotsoflayersofotherstuffgoingonatthesametime.

IspokewithNinjarecentlywhenshewasen-joyingadayofffromsummerfestivalsintheUK.Thoughthebandhastraveledallovertheworld,bringingGo!Teamshows to themasses,what Imost wondered about were the travels of theirsongs. Tracks from their last album have beenusedineverythingfromaHondaCiviccommer-cialtotheteendramaOne Tree HilltotheBBCintheircoverageofthe2004Olympics.

“I don’t know; I have no idea”, Ninja asserts,“In England, we hear our songs on gardeningshowsandcookingshowsandstuffandthey’vegotnothingtodowithus!WhenthesongcomesonTV,wehavenocontroloveritwhatsoever.Weget nothing from it! Literally pennies! I have noideahowtheyappearandasforfilms, Ihaven’theardofanyyet. I thinkTarantinowouldloveus,soweshoulddefinitelymakeamovieandbaseitaroundTheGo!Teamalbum.Andafterwards,we’llallgotohishouseforteaandbiscuits,”shesayswithalaugh.

It’s funny that a band that had to re-releasetheir first album, without the samples that theycouldn’t clear,have thesame troubleofpeopleusing their songs without permission. For Proof of Youth,therearemoresamplescreatedbythe

Brighton six-piece band itself. Band leader IanPartonwritesthestructuresforsongsandtherestofthebandfillstheminwithallthesoundsandvocals they can create.The song styles changefromtracktotrack,whichNinjacanrelatetoherownlife.

“Imoved loadswhen Iwas little,”she recalls,“soIgotusedtolivinginadifferenthouseeverytwoyearsorsomethingsoIquitelikethewayTheGo!Team is very unexpected. And being in theband, you can’t have any kind of routines so itworksquitewellforme!”

NotknowingwhatwillhappennextworksbestforNinja.“Ineverlookahead,”sheclaims,“Ineverfind out what we’re doing the next week or thenextmonthoranythinglikethat‘causeitmakesme anxious and it’s either there are so manythings lined up or I’ll know that I have nothinglinedupforawhile.IprobablywatchtoomuchTVbut I don’t care‘cause I likewatchingTV!And Ilovewatchingcomedyshows.ActuallyIwasjustwatching“[The] King of Queens,” thealways jo-vial Ninja laughs again.“Yeah, I like not havingtodoanything so I can justwatchTVand readmagazines.”

Allornothing:whichalsoappliestotheband’sdegree of fan mania for Sonic Youth, a bandthey toured with last year.The single,“Grip LikeaVice,” fromTheGo!Team’s forthcomingalbumwas recently released with a few different b-sides, includingacoverofSonicYouth’s“Bull intheHeather”.It’sverytruetotheoriginal,yethastheperfectdoseofTheGo!Team’speprallyfash-ion.Itdoesn’tseempossiblethatthetwobands’ideascouldcombineintoonesong.Partonpickedthesong:“itwasjustasonghefiguredhecould[give] The Go! Team treatment,” explains Ninja,“I don’t really know SonicYouth, I come from amorehiphopbackground,so Ihadneverheardofthem,evenuntilnow,I’veneverheardofthem!Apartfromthefactthatwe’vetouredwiththem!ButeveryoneelseinthebandisareallybigfanofSonicYouthandespeciallyIan:probablyoneof

theirbiggestfans!”TheGo!Team iscurrentlygetting ready tohit

upAmerica for a few weeks of touring. Ninja isexcitedtogetbackouthereasshecanpurchasethingsforcheaperandseethecultureshe’sex-posedtoonTVinthereal.“Iquitelikegoingoverthere,”shesays,“It’sabitofaweirdplace.L.A.isthestrangestplace!It’sexactlywhatyouseeonTV!It’sexactlywhatyouthinkitis!Everyonewalk-ingabout:‘Whatdoyoudo?Whodoyouknow?’It’sverystrangetoseeitforreal!It’sjustweird;youcan’tfindanythingtoeatthat’snotgoingtogiveyouaheartattack! Ifind itprettydifficult tofindfoodoverthere;theportionsarehuuuuuuge!Likefour timesasmuchas youget in England.Andtheyputbutteroneverything!”

You’d be correct if you can’t believe it’s justbutter that gives Ninja culture shock; some ofthepeoplearehardtogetusedtotoo.“Therearepeople there who didn’t know there [are] blackpeopleinEngland!”sheclaimsindisbelief,“Eng-landisareallymulticulturalcountry!Therewerepeoplewhowerelike,‘Omigod!Therearesistahsin London? I can’t believe there are sistahs inLondon!’”

ButjustassheseemedtoshocksomeAmeri-cans,someofthemshockedher.“[In]Miami,”sherecalls,“you could feel completely comfortablewithyourselfandthengooverthereandfeelre-allyself-conscious‘causeeverybodyismadeforwalkingdownthestreetinabikini.I’dbethinking‘I’mfine,I’mnormal’andthenyou’dgotoMiamiandyou’relike,‘Ohmygosh!Thesepeoplegottoomuchtimeontheirhands.’Ittakesgettingusedto.It’sastrangeplace!ButIfeellikegoingthere.”

HopefullyTheGo!Teamwill feel likehittingafewmoreCanadiancitiesduringtheirupcomingNorthAmericantourwhichsofaronlyincludesastopattheOperaHouseinTorontoonOctober31.Otherwise,you’lljusthavetobecontenttopickupProof of YouthonSeptember11andtrypassitoffasyourlatestmix!

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Kurt Dahle hates me.This is an umbrella state-mentI’vecompletelydecideduponbeforeIeventalktothevirtuosodrummerofcontemporarypopoutfitTheNewPornographers.Thefirstreasonformy self deprecating gut feeling is that my tele-phone interview is scheduled for three o’clockFriday afternoon and I have to call back threetimesandbepleasantlytoldbyhiswifeCocothathe’snotaround,and thatmaybehecompletelyforgot. I finally talk to Kurt from his home tele-phone(Cocotoldmethattheyarenotamobiletelephonefamily)athisfreshlypurchasedfarminthescarcelypopulatedCanadianprairies,butthislittlecross-countrytelephonetagjustaddssomecollar-tuggingnervousnesstomypreviousexperi-encewithhim.

Last year at a New Pornos performance, myfriendsandI(fueledbywhatmaybemorethananacceptablelevelofbourbon)heckledKurtinapositive light theentireshow.“KurtDahle is thebestdrummerinrockmusic!”wewouldexclaimwithbombastduringsongbreaks.Afterarendi-tionofSupertramp’s“Take theLongWayHome”duringtheencore,frontmanCarl(A.C.)Newmanpolitely asked the audience what the last songshould be. In the obvious indie-rocker practice,thecrowdbeltedoutanearlyhitsinglethattheband is probably not too keen on playing everagain. Inmyheartiestbellow, Idemanded theyplaythe(barely)latersingle“AllForSwingingYouAround,”andKurt(sportinghisquasicontroversial“Chaplin”moustache)retortedatmewith“We’llplay that song for you, you little (expletive) butyouowemelunch!”.Thentheyplayedit,anditwasmoresatisfyingthananyamountofpre-showbourbonguzzling.

When I finally get him on the telephone hepredictably doesn’t remember the incident. “Imust’ve been really drunk,” he chuckles. “Youlearntoadaptwhenyou’reanalcoholic.”Laterhereassuresmethatheis infactnotanalcoholic.“Funny,Idon’tdrinkthatmuchatall,justforsome

reasonthatbandisjustabadinfluence.”We are apparently supposed to be running

over the minutiae of his band’s fourth LP, Chal-lengers,butheseemstoknowverylittleaboutthefinishedproduct.WhenIaskhimaboutthelackofdrumsontherecordhetellsmethatit’sbetterfortherecordandthebandingeneral.“ActuallyIhaven’treallyhearditthatmuch.Ididn’treallyhaveacopyforawhile.Ididmypartsandsortofpasseditontothenextguy.”He’sequallysur-prisedtothecurrentlegaldebateovertheleakingofaNewPornographersbonustrackontheinter-net.“Reallyeh?See,youknowmorethanIdo.Idownloadmusicsometimes,ImeanIdon’treallyknowhow.I’mreallybusyandittakestoomuchpatience.Ialsobuyrecordsthough.IbuyShinsrecordswhentheycomeout.”

Malesseemtohavearesponsibilitytobuyre-cordsbybandstheyenjoy,soItakethemomenttoassurehimthatIpurchasehisband’srecordsinadditiontoeveryBelle&Sebastianalbumthat’sreleased,despitethefactthat Iobtainedtheyetto be released Challengers in a less than virtu-ousway.IWILLpurchasetherecordwhenithitsstores,butforthepurposeoftheinterviewIhadtoobtainitwithabitofshadypractice.

TheNewPornographersaregenerally taggedas a 70’sAM radio revivalist band. I bring thisupandhesayshe’sguiltyascharged. “WealllistenedtoAMradioaskids.IthinkprobablyweallknoweveryAMradiohitfromthe60’sand70’s.IstillloveThePoppyFamilyandstufflikethat.”Ly-ing,(Idownload.Don’tjudgeme.)ItellhimthatI recently purchased a Stevie Nicks record aftera pretty waitress suggested that I need to hearherhit“StandBack.”“StevieNicks?YoulikeFleet-woodMac?”Dahleasks.

“Well,when Iwasyounger,” Ibackpedal,con-tinuing,“Idon’tlikeStevieasanicon.Ithinkshe’smademorethanonegenerationofwomendresslike crystal-gripping hippie witches, and I don’tseewhy thesewomen think she’sapositive fe-

malerolemodel.Imean,sheprobablyhadPeterFrampton’s dick in her mouth more than PeterFrampton had that talking guitar tube thing inhis.”

“IliketheFleetwoodMacalbumsbeforeStevieNicks and Lindsay Buckingham in the 60’s withPeter Green,” he states in that “do-your-home-work”kindofstatement thatmakesme feel likeIneedtoboneuponmyRock‘n’RollJeopardy.IthenadmitthatIhaveadeeplovefortheoftencriticized troubadour Donovan. “Belle & Sebas-tianowehimsomemoneyforsure,eh?”,hesayswhile laughing under his breath. “When I firstheardIf You’re Feeling Sinister Ijustthought‘ThisisDonovan.’”

Atthispoint,Kurtstartsinterviewingme.“HaveyouseenthatBobDylandocumentaryNo Direc-tion Home?”Again,Ishoulddomoremusichis-toryresearchandadmitthatIhaven’t.BasedongrapevineryIsayI’veheardthatDonovancomesoffasadork in it.“I thought[Donovan]seemedlikea reallyniceguy. BobDylanseemskindofmean,and I’veheardotherpeoplesay that too.‘Oh Donovan seems like a dick’ but I think BobDylan seems like a dick. He’s just trying to singhimasongand just trying tobenice,obviouslysomeone he respects and it’s almost as if he’shis hero, and Bob just kind of takes the guitarawayandtriestoupstagehim.He’salittlebitar-rogant.”

Sometimes talking about music is the mostfutile pastime, especially with fellow musicians,but I take the opportunity to throw my personalexperiencewithDonovanintothechat.“IhaveafriendwhooncetoldmethatifyouputonDono-van’ssong“SunshineSuperman”whenyouwakeup,you’reguaranteedtohaveagreatday.”Afteranextendedlaugh,Kurttellsmethatheusedtocoverthatsonginthe80’sinapunkband.“Whatwereyoucalled?”Iinquire.

“96Tears.”Wethenbothhavealengthylaugh.“Weusedtocoverthatsongtoo.”

A PORNOGRAPHIC mEmORYKURT dAHLE OF THE NEw PORNOGRAPHERS WordsTrevorRisk

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Thisleavesmewithachancetobearecord-geek. “You know that in the 80’s, the two guysfromDaftPunkwereathreepiecebandwithoneof theguyswhoendedup inPhoenix,and theywerecalled“Darlin’”andtheyusedtocovertheirnamesakesongbyTheBeachBoys.”

“Daft Punk?” he asks with puzzling defiance.“Dotheystillexist?”

“Yeah,theydo.They’replayingsomeprettybigsoldoutshowsaroundtheworld.”

“Yousee,that’sasideofmusicyouhaveoverme.Idon’tknowanythingaboutit.”Again,Ihaveyet to impress my second favourite drummer(Blondie’sClemBurkebeatshimout...slightly).

The New Pornographers have been taggedas a supergroup, and are sometimes seen asVancouver’sflagshipband. Iask if it the title isjustified. “Really? It seems that people haveforgottenthatweareevenfromthere.”WestarttalkingabouthowVancouverisn’tparticularlyintosupportinglocalbandsthatfindsuccessoutsideofthecity.“[Vancouver’smusiccommunity]justwantedtosaytheydiscoveredusandtheydidn’treally.Wedidn’thaveareallybig following. Wesortofmade it in theStatesfirst. Peopledidn’tnotice.WeplayedMint[Records]showstomaybeahundredpeople,ifthat.WegotgoodpressintheStatesandthenVancouverstartedlisteningtous.Ithinkitmadesomepeoplemad.Maybetheythoughttheymissedtheboat.”

America isadifficultmarket tocrack. It’s thebiggestmusicmarketintheworld,butit’saduo-poly. The music is either tagged as“urban” or“rock”,andthe“urban”istop40rapmusic,whilethe“rock”isoftenfalse-angerdrivenguitarmusiccovered in far too much guy-liner (like eyeliner,butforguys).Iaskhimhowthebandhascrackedthecode.

“Wedoalright.Butthethingisthatindierockersareindierockers.It’snotlikewehaveadifferentaudiencethere.It’sthesamedemographic.Thesametypeofguy,sametypeofgirl.Idon’tthinktheylistentotheradio.Theradioiscrap.It’sbeenthatwaysinceIbecameateenager.IstartedtorealizethatIdidn’tlikewhatwasontheradioany-more. Iknowpeoplewhodowritefortheradio.Youcan tell theydo. Everysong that theyhaveontherehastheformula,andIdon’tthinkthere’sanythingwrongwiththat,becausepeoplewanna

hearNickleback.Ijustwon’tlistentotheradio.Iknowpeoplewhowilltorturethemselves.Imean,mybrother(Ryan,whoKurtplayedinmanybandswith, the most noteworthy being 90’s Canadianrock act Limblifter) will drive around in his vanandhe’llswitchthestationssaying‘Fuck!Thisisterrible!’andit’sbeen20yearsofhimdoingthat.Ijustwanttotellhimthatitwasterriblebackthen,sowhydoyoustilldo it? Hethinksthatoneofthese days that the clouds are gonna part andthisre-assertionisgoingtocometrue.”

KurtlivedinVancouver’sEastSideforwellovera decade and since both of us are from ruralenvironments (I’m froma small town in theOt-tawaValleyof6,000whitepeople),webeginonaVancouvermusicscenecallback.Wetalkmoreabout the New Pornographers not being big inVancouveruntiltheyhadpresselsewhere. Iaskhimwhathesayswhenpeopleareonaboutthemusicsceneinthecity.

“Thereisn’treallyamusicscenethere.[Smalllocalbands]justneedtoclingtosomething.Youcanlivewhereyouliveandjustmakemusic.Youdon’tneedtobepartofasceneoranythinglikethat,becauseweweren’t.Idon’tthinktherewasamusicscenewhenTheNewPornographersstart-ed.PeoplewouldarguethatwithusandDestroyer(whichisDanBejar’sprojectthatcouldeitherbeasideprojectofTheNewPornographers,or theNewPornographerscouldbeasideprojectofDe-stroyer)thattherewasamusicscene,butIwouldargue.IgetinterviewsinEuropewherethey’llask‘YouguysandBlackMountainhavearealmusicscene there’ but I only see Steve McBean fromBlackMountainaboutonceayear.It’snotreallyamusicscene,wejustdowhatwedo.I’mnotsosurethat inthatSeattlescenethatanyofthoseguyshungout.I’msureKurtCobainneverhungoutwithSoundgarden.OrinMinneapolis,Idon’tthink thatTheReplacementshungoutwith thatSoulAsylumguy.”

Our conversation gets gently interrupted withvagueanimalsoundsinthebackgroundoverthephone, and I get a sense of Kurt’s current spa-ciallivingarrangement.“Sorry.Sorryaboutthis.Holdon,Igottagoseewhatthisnoiseis.What’sthematter?”,herhetoricallyaskshisgiantdogs.“C’mere!” he orders, followed by those generickissy noises one makes to animals with limited

comprehension.“You’retooloud!”With the break in conversation, our interview

getsreset,andKurtcoylyasksmewhyIaskedtointerviewhim insteadof theoft-interviewedCarlNewman. “Well I’ma fan, firstoff.”Towhichhetellsmethatmychequeisinthemailinajovialtone.“Iguess Iwantedadifferentperspective,” Isay,comingupwithareasonthatisn’tfanboy-ish,“Carl gets interviewed a lot, and I’m certain heneedsabreaknowandthen.”

“Yeah, we kind of floss it off on him. I feelbadsometimes.Carl’sjustreallygoodatit.I’mnottryingtopassthebucktoCarl,buthehasagenuine talent for doing it. I don’t mind doingit,butsometimesyougetthosereallyhardoneslike‘What’syourfavoritecolour?’Idon’tliketalk-ing about ‘How many records have you sold?’or‘What’swith thisnew label?’Tome I’mmoreinterested inwhat kindof car theydrive. Like, IseeChan[Marshall]fromCatPowerquiteabitatshows,becauseweplaya lotof thesamesum-merfestivals,andwenevertalkaboutrecordsorplayingmusicoranythingatall.Imean,she’sanacquaintancethatIseeonceorsoayearandwetalk foraboutfiveminutesand it’salwaysaboutourdogs,orwherewe’relivingnow.Thestuffwe’reactuallyinterestedin.I’mnotthatinterestingofaguy,”hesays,tryingtojustifytheinterviewinashymanner,“Maybethat’swhyIplaythedrums.”

Taking the reigns of the interview, Kurt asksmeif IknowthatNekoCasehasboughtherselfa farm inVermont. “We sort of discovered thatwewerelookingatfarmsatthesametime.ShebringsmecopiesofHobby Farm MagazinewhenI see her”. I ask casually if maybe farmers arethe new pop-rock image. “Well, when we wereinEnglandIreadthatthebassistfromBlur[AlexJames],who’sarockjournalisthimself,ismakinggoatcheeseonafarm.Ilikerockbiographies.”

“I’m not big on rock biographies becausethey’re always bit slanted,” I respond. “I preferbooksthattakedownalbumsthatareconsidered‘seminal’—a word that should be barred frommusic journalism around the world—from The White Album toWilco’sYankee Hotel Foxtrot”.

“I’mnotabigWilcofan,”hequicklyexclaims.“I’mreallyfussy.Peoplegetmadatmeandask‘Whydon’tyoulikethem?Whydon’tyoulikeRa-diohead?’”

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“Well,whydon’t you likeRadiohead?” I inquirepromptly.

“Idon’tknow,it’stooseriousforme.Somethingtoo serious about them. They just don’t seem tohaveasenseofhumor,andmaybethesamewithWilco.Haveyouseenthat[Wilco]movie?”

Deep into the interview I respond with poorlythoughtreactions,andlieonceagainandsaythatIhaveindeedseenthemovie.KurtcontinuesonhisinterpretationoftheWilcomovie,“[JeffTweedy’s]arealarsehole. (Thewatereddownprofanitymightbeduetohis13yearoldandnewbornbabylurk-ingaroundthefarm)Iliketheotherguy.Theguytheyfired.Heseemslikethemostinterestingoneofthebunch.Ilikesomeseriousmusic,it’sjustthatWilcoisoneofthosebandsthatisconsideredthe

bestandIdon’tthinkare.DoyoulikeanyofthoseTorontobands?”

“No,”Idefiantlystamp.“Doyou?”“Toronto’saweirdplace,isn’tit?”IsaythatIwas

bornthereinadefectivetone.“IjustfindthatIdon’tidentifyverywell fromthemusic thatcomesfromthere. It’salwaysbeen thatway forme,”hesays,remindingmethathe’saCan-Contouringveteran.

ThisremindsmeofLeslieFeistandhowIdoubtIcouldtolerateherlazyloungeact,eveninaneleva-tor,andItellKurtthathermusicsoundslikesome-thingmymotherwouldgetdownto.“Idon’teventhinkofherthatway,”hesays.“Imean,whenIhearthatmusicIknowthatit’snotsomethingI’devertryandlistento,butIthinkshe’sreallygoodforwhatsheis.She’sprobablythemostprofessionalthing

thatcomesoutofthere.It’soriginal.Butmymomwouldlovethatrecordforsure.”

Musichatersoftenturnfromsour-facedthumbs-down criticism to comparing guitar gear, and ourFeistjokesturnquicklyintovintageguitarcompara-tives until we decided we are friends and do thetelephone equivalent of a high-five sign-off. Wedecided tohangoutwhenhe’s in town,andhe’llguestlistmefortheNewPornographersstoponthenew tour. Kurt Dahle decides that I still owe himlunch,andIdecidethatI’maliar.

POSTER ARTJEREmY wILSON

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JeremyWilson’sbusinessmonikerisoneofthoseself-explainingtagsthatmakesapromoterwanttohirehimevenbeforegreetingwithahandshake.“Popfuel”isfuelingpopmusicwiththatretro-but-not-on-pur-posehandprintedposterstylethatremindsusthatthestreetsofTorontocanbeprettyifgiventhechance.“Iguessmystyleisflexible.Ireallytrytomatchthestyletotheband,butfromlookingatmydesigns,catsseemtobeacommon theme,”says32yearoldWilson. Catsarebetter (andsmarter) thandogs,andCatPowerpostersarebetter(andsmarter)whentheyinvolveastretchedoutfelinestaringatwhatcouldonlybeasolareclipse.Jeremy’sgigpostersaremadeevenbetterbythefactthathe’sonlybeendoingitforaboutayear.Afterhalfadecadeofdesigningt-shirtsand“otherstuff,”ourherodugupthebookThe Art of Modern Rock,andaself-proclaimedfirewasborninsidehim.“TherockpostersceneinCanadaisvirtuallynon-existentwhencomparedtowhat’shappeningintheUS,andIwanttochangethat.EveryonefromVancouvertoSt.John’sshouldseetheincrediblebeautyandgeniusstaringbackfromrecordstorewindowsandtelephonepolesallaroundthem,andIhopesomeofmyposterscanhelpmakethathappen.”Godspeed,Jeremy.

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Strawberry Jam ANIMAL COLLECTIVE domino

As far as I know, this is probably the

most accessible Animal Collective al-

bum yet. It should be noted, however,

that I hate structure. My apartment

is all piles of disassembled shelving

units and pillow stuffing, my alarm

clock is set on “shuffle” and I had a

faulty pacemaker installed to keep my

heartbeat from getting boring. Here

are the naked facts: if you like the

Animal Collective you will probably

not be disappointed. If you don’t like

the Animal Collective I don’t really

know what to tell you. As expected,

this is like the kind of music little kids

would make, if little kids had access

to a studio and weren’t idiots. It’s not

as stoney and mellow as they have

been and there are a lot more vocals,

but it’s still (in a lot of ways) just an-

other Animal Collective album. Which

means “great,” unless you don’t “get

it,” in which case you are probably

“retarded” and shouldn’t try to edit out

my “excessive quotation marks.”

★★★★✩ –Clayton Pierrot

A DRINk AND A QuIck DEcISION GRANd NATIONAL SuNDAy BEST

GrandNational’sbiographyontheir

websitebeginswith“Everysooften

agroupcomesaround...”andone

needsnotreadanyfurther.Thatkind

ofcookie-cuttingthesisstatementis

theprintequivalentoftheiraccom-

panyingphoto,whichhastwoyoung

menintightt-shirts,oneofthemwith

asoulpatch(or“flavor-saver”)look-

ingpensiveandstoic.Thisistheir

secondrecord,andit’sevenmore

averagethanthefirst.Atleastthelast

recordhadtheearlyPolice-ishswag-

gerjam“PlayingInTheDistance.” A

Drink and A Quick Decisionhasno

songsofnote,andremindsusthat

whenaband’ssophomorerecordis

astepbackfromthefirst,(inagenre

thateventhebestalbumsarestill

onlymediocre)thebestalistener

canhopeforis“kindasexy,sorta

fun,”whichthisrecordisn’t.Grand

Nationalarethekindofguyswho

wouldshowupatyourhouseparty

andturnoff“Walkin’OnSunshine”

andputonarecordbyTheKnifeand

say“justlistentothosekeyboards!”

Puke.

★✩✩✩✩ –TrevorRisk

ONcE uPON A TIME IN THE WEST HARd-FI WARNER

FromwhatIunderstand,Hard-Fi’s

sophomorealbumThe Stars of

CCTV—releasedduringthoseheady

daysof2005whenthelikesofBloc

Party,theArcticMonkeys,theKaiser

Chiefs,etal.wereallscrambling

overthestill-twitchingcorpseofthe

LibertinestothetopoftheUKpop

charts—wassomethingofacel-

ebratedrags-to-richessuccessstory

indearoldBlighty.Near-platinum

status,MercuryPrizenominations,and

afive-nightresidency(followingthe

likesofTheClash,BobDylan,and,uh,

Prodigy)came,Iguess,accordingly.

Now,whilecontemporarieslikethe

KlaxonsandtheMonkeys,sensinga

sinkingship,moveoffintodarkerand

morespasticlocals,Hard-Firelease

theinsipidpaeantobanalitythatis

Once Upon A Time In The West. From

title,toalbumart,tothefinalstring

quiveroncloser“TheKing”,wefinda

bandreachingdesperatelyforgreat-

nessbutgraspinglittlebeyondtepid

clichéandsaccharineover-production.

Warner’spromoteamisconjuringthe

ghostof“earlyClash”tosellthisthing,

butIthink“BritishMaroon5”probably

givesyouabetterideaofwhatOnce

Upon A Time…isallabout.

★✩✩✩✩ –ChadR.Buchholz

THE SHEPHERD’S DOG IRON ANd wINE SuB POP

SamBeamhasbeendelivering

solidindiefolkwithaSoutherntwist

undertheIronandWinemonikerfor

fiveyears,andhisthirdrecord,The

Shepherd’s Dog,ishisfinestoneyet.

Thealbumembracesafullersound

thanitspredecessors,provingthat

Beamiscapableofgreatnessbeyond

hisdelicateacousticcoverofthe

PostalService’s“SuchGreatHeights”

(ThankGod.Don’tgetmewrong,

Ilikedit,butafterIheardit,allhis

musicstartedsoundingthesameto

me).There’satwangytingetothe

recordreminiscentofhisprevious

work(thereligiousimageryisstill

present,too)buta60’spsychedelic

influenceseemstohaveseepedinat

places(“PaganAngelandaBorrowed

Car,”“WhiteToothMan,”“Peace

BeneaththeCity”).There’sevenone

track,“HousebytheSea”,thathas

anAfrican-bluesyfeeltoit,andBeam

canfilloutandlayerhismusicwhile

stillpenninglyricsthatwillbreak

yourheart.Itdoesn’tgetanybetter

thanthat.

★★★★★ –AmandaFarrell

ExILE ON MAINSTREAM mATCHBOx TwENTY ATLANTIc

Iwasatthepawnshoptheotherday

pawningmyguitarssoIcouldflyto

L.A.topursuemyrock‘n’rolldreams.

AsIwasperusingtheCDrackwhile

waitingformyappraisalIcame

across,Yourself Or Someone Like

YoubyMatchboxTwenty.Ilaughed

tomyselfthinkingaboutthereview

I’mwritingfortheirnewGreatestHits

packagetitled:Exile on Mainstream.

ThoseoldMB20albumshavecreated

acottageindustryforpawnshops,

andthatisfine,becauseRobThomas

haspawnedhisadultcontemporary

soulandboughtaone-wayticketto

rockingtheenlightenedairwavesof

satelliteradio.EnlistingU2producer

SteveLillywhite,theyhavewrittenan

efficientrocktrackthatwillbearound

forthenextdecadeonSiriusplaylists

ateveryCactusClubfromhereto

Burnaby,BC.“Let’sSeeHowFarWe’ve

Come”isasolidtrack,butlet’sleave

everythingelseonthisretrospective

forthepawnshop.

★✩✩✩✩ –JosephDelamar

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FilmoreMescalitoHolmes

OuR ILL WILLS SHOUT OUT LOUdS MERGE

RosaParkscouldneverbemybusbud-

dy,becauseIrefusetositanywherebut

thebackofthebus.Thefrontisforold

people,themiddleisforguyswho’ll

accidentallybrushupagainstyour

thighoneorseventimes,andtheback

isforpeoplelikeme—peoplewho

wanttositwiththewindnippingatthe

backoftheirneck,daydreamingtothe

ShoutOutLouds.TheSwedishquintet’s

sophomorealbumOur Ill Willshasall

thesynth-popcharmoftheir2005de-

butHowl Howl Gaff Gaff,butwithBjörn

Yttling(ofPeterBjörn&Johnfame)in

theproductionchair,thebandhasde-

velopedamorepolishedsoundtoput

outoneoftheyear’sbestpopalbums.

Our Ill Wills openswiththeexhilarat-

inglymelodic“TonightIHaveToLeave

It”andmovessteadfastlythroughone

catchypopsongtoanother—from

thewistfullykinetic“Normandie,”call-

ingTheCuretomindinitspercussive

opening,totheenergeticburstof

Abba-inspiredorchestralpopatthe

heartof“SouthAmerica.”Thisisdefi-

nitelyyourSeptemberalbum,yourlong

busridealbum,stretchingsummer’s

tailwithitstoe-tappinglyardentpop-

rockhooksandfillingthebackofthat

buswithitsvocalreverie.

★★★★✩–NojanAminosharei

WAR STORIES UNKLE SONy

ThethirdofficialUNKLEfull-length

reeksofunfulfilledpromise.Their

1998debutPsyence Fictionsaw

JamesLavellerewardinglycollabo-

ratingwithDJShadowandnames

asbiganddiverseasThomYorke

(Radiohead)andKoolG.Rap,resulting

inarichlyatmospherichybridofMo

Waxhouseandturntablisthip-hop.

2003’sShadow-lessNever, Never Land

waswidelyregardedasasmallstep

backwards,centeringonLavelleand

hisroommateRichardFile.Witha

lessspectacularcastofcontributors

andlabelproblems,thealbumfailed

toimproveonthesuccessofthefirst

record.Cutto2007andwe’vegotthe

sameproblems.Virtuallynopresspre-

cededthereleaseofWar Storiesand

it’snotsurprisingwhy.Severalofthe

sameguestsappearhereasdidfour

yearsago,alongindierockb-listers

andQOSTAproducerChrisGoss.There

aren’tanymomentsthatmakeyou

think,“Wow,I’mlisteningtothenew

UNKLE.”There’sjustnothingcontrover-

sialorchallengingaboutit.Thescope

oftheseprojectshasgonefromepic

grandiositytoineffectualrockbanality

andwillbeforgottenassuch.

★✩✩✩✩

PLAyTIME IS OvER wILEY BIG DADA

Whenyouarethegodfatherof

agenrenamedafterwhatyou

scrapefromunderyournailsafter

aweeklongbender,growsomebig

boytesties.Imean,whenyouget

grimedownonpaperit’ssupposed

toberap,dnb,andeuro-trance?

Canadiantrancemaybe?Itallsounds

prettygood,howeverthisoffering

fromEskiboy(AKAWiley)isriddled

with“shutthefuckup”Wileystylings.

Thereisnothinggrimeyaboutthis

shit.Wiley,stopusingZestandmake

analbumwithsometeeth.Itreminds

meofthistimewhereIhadgoneout

withagirllike,fourorfivetimes,andI

thoughtthatitwasgoingprettygood,

whenshetellsmethatshenever

understoodwhysomeonewouldbuy

asupersoaker,peeinit,flytoEngland

andshootitinaguynamedWiley’s

face.Waitdidthathappen?Orisit

goingtohappen?Thereisnotone

songonthisdiscthatwilleverbe

nearmyearsagain.

★✩✩✩✩ –Dr.IanSuper

WelcometoFivetoOne,whereevery

monthwegetpeopleweliketoscrib-

bletheircurrenttopfivetracksplus

oneclassiconscrapsofpaper.This

monthwehaveDaftPunk’sThomas

Bangalterwhowecorneredata

restaurantpriortohisSeattleshow.

Curiously,Bangalter’’sclassicpickis

fromhisfirstband,Darlin’—whom

NMEMagazinereferredtoas‘daft

punks’inaparticularlyscathingre-

view.Goodluckfindingit.

Thomas Bangalter OF DAFT PUNK

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SOCIAL ENGINEERINGWordsSamKerrPhotographyJasonLang

I made a bet with a girl regardingtheTurkish election. I took the so-cialist.Neverbetonasocialist.Thestakes,previouslydecided:Theloser(me)wastopayforanentirenightofthewinner’sdrinking.

WegotoWhistlerandsetupshopatahotel. Onceinsidetheroom,IaskmydateforalittleprivacywhileIcallmymother.Ipickupaphone,call a bar, and ask for a manager.Once he is on the line I say,“FouryearsagoImetmygirlfriendatyourbar.TonightIamgoingtoaskhertomarryme,andIwanttodoitatthesameplacethatImether.Iknowit’ssentimental,butI’lltakeallthehelpIcangetatthispoint.Anyway,we’regoingouttodinnerfirst,sowe’llbecoming ina little late. Would itbea problem for us to skip the line?Idon’twant togetstuckout in thecoldon thenight that Ipropose tomywife,eh.”Irepeatthislietothemanagerofarestaurantandthentothemanagersofthreeotherbars.

After all the lying, I tell my datethat Ineedtogo into thevillage,“Ihave forgotten something.” I drivetothedollarstoreandbuythebestfake diamond ring that I can find.Then,Igotoarealjewelrystoreandpay thecorruptmanageronehun-dreddollarsforalittlebluebox.

WhenIreturn,mydateandIhavesomecasualcocktails.Aroundnineweorderacabandmakeourwaydowntotherestaurant.JustaswearriveIgrabmydate’shandandsay,“Iamgoingtotrickthemanagerintogivingussomefreechampagne,sojustplayalong.Noneofthisisreal,just playalong.” Intriguedbymys-teryandadventure,mydateagrees.

AfterourmaincourseIsaythatIamgoingtothetoilet,butinsteadIgetupandsearchforthemanager.When Ifindhim, I remindhim thatI am about to pop the question.Straightfaced,Ilookhimintheeyesandsay,“FromthebowelsofChristI beseech you; if my girl agrees tomarryme,youmustbuyusabottleofchampagne.”Themanagergrabsmebythescruffoftheneck,main-tainseyecontact,andnodshishead.

I return to the table, wink at mydate,anddroptoaknee.“RoxanneRochanbach, four years ago I tookyou on our first date, here to thisrestaurant.Thatwasthebestdayof

my life. Everydaysince thatday, Ihave been learning what it meanstoreallylive.It’sallbecauseofyouRoxanne,” I pull the blue box frommycoatpocketandwinkatmydateagain,“willyoumarryme?”

Pop goes the cork and the bub-blesflowovermyhand.Notthebestbottle,butthepriceisright.Wesaychimo,touchglasses,andcelebrate.I get the bill and we move on to a‘club.’

IsaymynameisDavidFeldstansi;thebouncerreferstothelistandletsusin.Iaskaroundforthemanager,find him, and then repeat the liefromtherestaurant.Hegivesmethe

greenlighttogototheDJboothandgrabthemic.Iproposetomydate;thistimethroughhigh-poweredste-reoequipment;andagainthebluebox fools thecrowd. Drunkpeoplelineuptobuyusdrinks.

Unfortunately, this story is fic-tion.Thegirl towhomI lostthebetfiguredoutmyplanbefore Ihadachancetohatchit.Shesawthroughmysocialengineeringto its logicalendgame. What happens at theendofadatelikethat?WasIengi-neeringhertoo?Moralofthestory:Nevertrytopullafastoneonagirlthat knows anything about Turkishelections.

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HOROSCOPES: CHRISTINA CULVER

ChristinaisyourDarlingwww.christinaculver.com

LEO July 23-Aug 22

They were thoughtless, selfish,spoiled children. Now they won’twake you up when you need yourrest.

LIBRA Sept 24-Oct 23

She’s perfect. You’re perfect.My daughter. My own daugh-ter! I’m going to make aperfectlifeforyou.I’mgoingtogiveyouall the things I neverhad. Mybeautiful little darling! You’re alucky girl, and very expensive. Youcostmealotoffavours.

SCORPIO Oct 24-Nov 22

You were very, very bad to wakeMommie up like that. Very naughty.I told you, Mommie has to bebeautiful today.This afternoon, shehastoseeMister Mayer.Todayissoimportant. You are thoughtlessandselfish.Youmustlearntothinkabout other people. You are bad,badspoiledchildren.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23-Dec 21

Isthisaninstitutionoflearningorateenagebrothel?

CAPRICORN Dec 22-Jan 20

Nobodyever said that lifewas fair.I’m bigger and I’m faster. I willalwaysbeatyou.

AQUARIUS Jan 21-Feb 19

Youwerealways theshopgirlwhofought her way to the top, madea great success. Well, you’re nota little shop girl anymore. Now,that’s the truth, to face and dealwith, if you want to survive. Thetruthis,you’regettingold.

PISCES Feb 20-March 20

Hollywood royalty! Parted friends.. . everyone already knows! Boxoffice poison! Box office poison!Class! You’re. . . class. . . you’re. . .class. . . box office poison! Eigh-teen years in thebusinessandweparted friends! Creative differ-ences!

I would rather be here with you than any-where else in the world. You, all of you here and everywhere, gave me this award tonight. And I accept it from you and only you. I love all of you. Now please forgive me, good night. — VIRGO Aug 23 - Sept 23

ARIES March 21-April 20

Don’t fuckwithme fellas.Thisain’tmyfirsttimeattherodeo.

TAURUS April 21-May 21

I’mnotmadatyou,I’mmadatthedirt.

GEmINI May 22-June 21

How many drinks is that? Whenyouwereakid thatmadeyou look

sexy. Now it just makes you lookdrunk. I should’ve known you’dknow where to find the boys andthebooze.

CANCER June 22-July 22

Oh yes, it was thrilling. I’mso grateful to you all. . . myWon-derful fans, who made meastar.Ohyes.Itwasthrilling.I’mso grateful to you all. MyWon-der-ful fans, who made me a star. . .Mommie?

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