hairofthedog_rhysford

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Hair of the DogRhys Ford

A serialized short story from the Sinners Series

This serialized series is dedicated to anyonewho has grabbed one of my books and fallen in love with Dude.

Okay, it’s for everyone who has ever gotten one of my books.

ecause you are the reason for all of this.! treasure that.eyond measure.

So thank you.

This is a collection of free stories. Do not "ay any money for this book. !t should be free ofcharge like the love of a good dog, swimming in the ocean and the sound of laughter in the air.Also the smell of coffee because really, that does it for me.



Hair of the Dog • Part One

#$ello, Defender of the %oncrete S&uirrel.'

!t was a silly name but the bulldog took it on with a great seriousness. A""arently the "eo"le hecalled his considered the s&uirrel an im"ortant "art of their lives so he in turn honoured them by defending it. !t was better than the human(name give to him. )oscoe. A noise at best and aharsh one. !t "robably meant something in human language but ! didn’t know what. Theyrarely discussed their language with us and mostly it centered around food or toys.

And beatings. Some humans liked to chase away the *ack’s members as if they had dominionover the ground they s&uatted on.

!t is one thing to be territorial but &uite another to be cruel.

+uch like the name )oscoe.

#$ello, %hinatown y"sy -alker.' Defender snuffled a greeting through the chain link fencesurrounding his "ro"erty. Another silly human thing, running a line of tall metal around anarea as if they can kee" it safe from anything outside coming in. !t would be an easy enoughfence to scale. Or if ! were something other than *ack, fly or crawl under but that would bedisres"ectful to the bulldog so ! stayed on my side of the silly webbing. #-here are you goingtoday '

#! am heading down to the end "ath there. ! have found a human ! like. !’ll be staying there for

my life.' $is shock flavoured the air and ! sniffed at it, wondering what was such a sur"rise. !cocked my head at him, "ulling my ears forward. #-hy the strangeness Did you think ! willgive u" my roaming The one !’ve found needs a roamer. $e stays inside too much. $e’ll needme to bring the outside in.'

#Does he like you ' The bulldog furrowed its brow and ! wondered if he’d s"ent too much timewith his humans as he looks more like one of them when he s"eaks. ut then, thinking back onall the bulldogs ! have know, most of the breed were like that. A mass of wrinkles, worry anddefending odd things.

#$e feeds me. And when he does walk outside, he goes to the food "lace on the corner and buys me a sandwich. /ust for me.' ! catch the scent of a cat on the wind. !t is nearby but not one! know. !f ! hadn’t been on my way to home, ! would seek it out but there are things to do. ! hadto find my newly claimed human and mark him as mine0an easy task since !’d avoided at leastthree rains since !’d last seen him so ! reeked of my scent. #So, you will see me with him. !thought ! should tell you ! would be in the area and ho"e to be good *ack to you.'

#-ait, ! know that one. $e looks like he owns a cat.'



#$e is a cat.' ! assert. # ut ! can work with that. -ish me luck. !t will be a hard thing with him but ! am determined.'

#Then why are you doing it ' Defender asks as ! turn away.

# ecause he is sad inside.' ! re"ly, elated the bulldog did not draw a line of aggression betweenus. !t would be difficult to live near him if he had. #And because, Defender, he deserves to live better than the death he’s chosen for himself.'



Hair of the Dog • Part Two

The dead s&uirrel was the final straw.

Okay, ste""ing in it had been the final straw but that counted as finding it, es"ecially when thething s&ueaked and s"urted when +iki’s foot came down on its slightly de"ressed cor"se.

#1uck2 Shit.' $is howl echoed through the em"ty half of the garage and +iki ho""ed off thes&uirrel, shaking his foot. Turning, he banged his elbow on the garage door, rattling its slats andsending a shockwave of "ain u" his arm. 3nbalanced, his bad knee gave and he went down,sla""ing the concrete floor in an inelegant s"rawl. The ache in his elbow was nothing com"aredto the twisting anguish coming u" his leg to grab at the base of his neck, a devastating ri""lethrough his nerves.

To add insult to in4ury, the s&uirrel’s remains still clung to his bare foot, its gummy flesh "oking

out between his toes.

+ore im"ortantly, the bringer of the dead rodent sat there laughing at him, his "ink tonguecurled u" like a one(finger salute "oking out of his "anting mouth.

A "anting mouth reeking of dead s&uirrel stench.

#Dude, really ' +iki shook his foot, adding another layer of "ain to his already aching knee.The s&uirrel remained lodged between his toes and he s"read them as wide as he could,shaking harder.

The damned dead thing was as stubborn as the dog who now seemed to live with him.

#5ou see this thing on my foot -hat the fuck is this Shit, now !’ve got to touch it.' +ikidebated how long he could lie there with a dead s&uirrel stuck to his foot before someone foundhim. #5eah, the answer to that is fucking forever 6cause no one gives a shit about you, Sin4un.'

$e regretted using that old nickname instantly and the "ain began again, rushing into his bloodwith a "oisonous sting. 7o one called him that any more. $ell, even 8die said +iki or even St. /ohn when she was annoyed with him. Sin4un was dead. As dead as the men who’d once calledhim that.

od fucking damn it, he missed Damie so much. There wasn’t anyone to tell him it was okaythat he woke u" in the middle of the night shivering from fear. $e missed being held. $emissed being able to go down a hallway or across a room to find someone to anchor him to thenow. -ithout the others, he was lost and9drowning.

$e was drowning so much and nothing +iki did seemed to get him closer to shore.



There were some days9most days9when he felt like going under, 4ust so it would all sto".

#5ou do that, and that bitch family of his is going to get Damie’s shit. 7e:t thing you know,they’ll be selling tam"ons and mineral water with our cra".' +iki sniffed, his nose clogging u"too tightly for him to breathe. #1uck it, Damie. -hy’d you have to leave me here -hy couldn’tyou have been the one to stay 5ou could have done this fucking shit without me because ! sureas shit can’t do it without you.'

Something tugged at his foot and he blinked, wi"ing away the tears in his eyes to look. Oddly,the terrier had the s&uirrel’s rather flat tail in his mouth and was tugging its dead "rize off of+iki’s foot. Dro""ing his stench(laden gift onto the floor, the dog trotted over to +iki’s sideand swi"ed at +iki’s tears with his slobbering tongue.

+iki laughed des"ite himself then gagged, "ushing the dog away gently. #Oh no, Dude. 5ou

4ust had a mouth of s&uirrel ass. 7o fucking way that’s coming near me. 7ever ass to face.7ever.'



Hair of the Dog • Part Three

+y human was useless.

There was no other way to say it but0useless. $e couldn’t hunt. -ell, hardly any human didthese days. +ost of them gathered from food "laces or had other humans come over with food but even these sim"le things, my human failed at.

The noise he used for me was nice. Dude. !’d heard other humans use it to call one another.+uch like saying *ack. !t was an acknowledgement of e&uality and ! bore it with honour. !added it to my other names, gleefully in fact. !t was much better than the bulldog’s and so muchgreater a name than the "oor %hihuahua(mi: !’d met whose owner called it oobie($amster.

ut Snuffler of -arm, Soft 1lesh liked the name and wore it as a badge.

Of course he also called himself Terror of %ats and we both "retended as if it were true.

Sometimes, it’s best to let a dog’s "ride remain intact, even as he shivered when "assing by oneof the *ack’s traditional rivals for affection0the canny feline.

7o, my human was useless in so many things. $e did not gather food that smelled of anything but salt, grains and chemicals even though he made sure the sustenance he gave me was"rimarily "rotein0even the dried kibble he left in an o"en bag for me on the floor. $e did notwalk. $e did not stretch his legs. And he hurt. All the time. !nside and out. There were "arts ofhim ! could not reach because humans and their frail communication skills meant they had tochatter and chatter nonsensically at each other 4ust to say hello or goodbye.

! would have liked if he chattered to someone0anyone0but he rarely saw another "erson. !f heleft to the food "lace on the corner of the crossway, he s"ent less than a few seconds talking tothe human there.

3seless.

And he also brought home much too much li&uid fermented grain. !f he intended to drink hisfood, !’d have to find a new "erson to live with before long because the one !’d found was too broken to survive.

7o, ! was going to need hel". The "roblem with my human was too big for 4ust one dog to takecare of. !’d need a bigger voice than the one ! had, one my human0my +iki0 would listen to.

! was tired of my human tasting like tears. Tired of ho"ing he would find something he’d like to"lay with in the things ! brought to him every day. ! was going to have to bring himsomething0someone0grum"ier than he was. ! knew ! felt better after a good fight. There wassomething about getting my blood stirred u" that lifted the s"irit even in the darkest of days.



That is what +iki needed. $is blood stirred.

And ! knew 4ust the human to do it.



Hair of the Dog • Part Four

$umans are stu"id stu"id things.

Someone brought death to my house and the swarms of metal(smelling, grumbling men who’dinvaded my home s"ent more time trying to shove me into a bo: than taking care of my +iki.$e was scared and sick. ! could smell the sick on him and the Other One0;ane0was doing as best he could trying to calm my human down.

!t wasn’t going to work. +iki’d already was covered with the stench of the kill and it made himsick. $e was "ulling u" his stomach and the salty mess of grains he’d eaten were all over theground. ut that didn’t matter either. The loud "eo"le were digging into that too, as if theywould find anything but grains and bile.

There was death in the house2 $ow could they not smell it !t was not a good death. 7ot like a

hunt or even meat brought back from a food "lace. This was death with no intent on eating theflesh0the worst kind of horror any *ack could think of.

!t was something a cat would do0bring a kill to another cat’s yard to say he was better than theother.

! needed to get to +iki. To tell him it would be alright and ;ane would take care of him but oneof the humans "icked me u"0as if he had the right to do so.

So ! bit him.

And he did not taste good.

There are very few times when !’ve shown my teeth in anger. 3sually mostly to warn another ofthe *ack away if !’m eating and they are "erfectly ca"able of getting their own food. One doesnot show teeth to a "u""y or kitten. +y dam taught me manners before ! even "ulled awayfrom her teat. ! knew that from the beginning. Aggression is stu"idity because there were otherways for me to deal with the situation. ut in that moment of "anic, stress and anger, ! couldonly think of one thing0getting to +iki.

So ! bit one of ;ane’s "eo"le until he bled and dro""ed me.

Sorry, ! am not sorry.

! took two ste"s to the garage when someone threw something over me and the ne:t moment, !was in the cold, hard room with the water dish ! could only reach if ! stood on my hind legs. Afew "ants later, a dish with dry food and more water in a bowl 4oined me and someone thought



to throw in one of the thick bones +iki had another human bring me when they brought hissalty bread things.

There was no familiar voices after that. There was chatter. +ost of it confused. Some of itworried. A few times ! thought ! heard ;ane but the sound of the voice was different. 7ot asold. 7ot as wise but very much of the same litter.

There was nothing more ! could do. /ust sit there. And wait.

-ell, and chew the meat off of my bone. ! only ho"ed someone would take care of my human.And kee" death as far away from him as "ossible.



Hair of the Dog • Part Five

#Do you know what you need ' rigid tilted her head, studying +iki as he nibbled on themountain of food she’d "ut on a "late and "lo""ed into his la".

The woman "urred. <iterally "urred. As !rish as any "int of uinness he’d downed in Dublinwhile on tour, ;ane’s mother s"oke with a lilting "urr meant to comfort and soothe.

ut it scared the fuck out of him.

%rawling scary fucks even.

$e knew why. 8:"laining it wouldn’t hel". $e’d met women like rigid before. -ell, note:actly like rigid since she seemed to be the ty"e of "erson someone would name anunsinkable shi" after.

7o, +iki frowned, they’d name the iceberg after her. Any "oor shi" minding its own businessin the middle of the ocean was fucked if it ran across her.

And if anything made him feel smaller than a dinghy on a collision course with doom, it wasa""arently a sweet(faced, !rish mother bent on stuffing him like a turkey waiting for /udgmentDay. That and she was staring.

!t was damned hard to eat when someone was staring at him. $ell, even the dog didn’t do it.ut then, Dude’d abandoned him what seemed like hours ago, settling into gnaw on yet

another bone he’d dragged over to a corner of the living room. Staring0like she wantedsomething.

$e held out a grilled russels s"routs, "utting u" a wall of green between them.

A""arently that wasn’t it because her eyebrows gathered u" together like a coiled s"ringwaiting to sna" back and bite him.

#3m, no ' !t took him a bit to realize she was still waiting for him to answer her &uestion. Oddsince she’d not "aused for more than a second as she chirru"ed and sang her way through theliving room and across the couch where he’d shoved himself to hide from her assault.

1irst thing he was going to do was get very thick doors for the room he’d "lo""ed his bed in.)eally thick doors. That locked. +aybe even bolted from the inside with a heavy wooden barlike he was e:"ecting an orc raid or "erha"s Smaug. 8yeing her frightful mo" of red curls as it bobbed and wove about her heart(sha"ed face, +iki wasn’t so sure even those ty"es of doorswould hold her back.



#5ou need to come home with us,' rigid declared, "ronouncing a death sentence on him in hercheery, <ucky(%harms accent. #=uinn can come get us. !’ll go "ack u" some of your clothes0'

#Shit, no2' +iki was u" off the couch before he realized he still had a "late of food in his la".The cabbage thing he’d been "icking at hit the car"et by Dude’s nose. leefully, the terriersna""ed it u" in a single gul", &uickly rising u" to hoover his way through the remains of+iki’s dinner.

7o carried absolutely no weight. $ell, even the dog didn’t look u" from his food slur"ing when+iki shouted. Although, he frowned down at the terrier, the grilled s"routs were "robablygoing to revisiting them all later. +iki was still reeling from the gaseous cloud of death the dogemitted after he’d gotten a mouthful of kim chee.

#Shit, kim chee’s cabbage. 8verything on that damned "late’s cabbage. !s she trying to makesure ! fart off the bed ;ane’s going to love0shit, where did she go ' +iki looked around,

shocked to find himself alone in the living room with what was obviously going to be a furry,ticking time bomb of mustard gas in a few hours. A fluff of red hair near his unmade bedstuttered his heart to a dead sto" and +iki knew he’d die of cardiac arrest long before the dog’ssulfurous ass got him.

8s"ecially when rigid held u" the half(em"ty bottle of lube he’d hastily shoved under his"illow and asked, #Should ! "ack only this one Or do you think you boys are going to needmore '



A Hair of the Dog • Part Five and a Half

There is someone new in the house.

!, as the Dude, am res"onsible for checking out the intrusion. The duties of the name Dude areloosely defined. 3nlike my other names0like the most recently obtained %at S&uat SandScrounger0Dude is not so much a descri"tion of my status among the others in the global *ack but rather my +iki(given status as ! share his life and den.

Dude0such a short noise0but it comes with tremendous res"onsibilities.

! taken these res"onsibilities very seriously. +y first and foremost res"onsibility is to +iki, myhuman.-hen ! first moved into our home, he was hurt some"lace too dee" inside of himself for me tolick clean.

That is the "roblem with humans.

They get hurt too dee" inside of themselves and sometimes, their souls bleed out of woundsthey can’t see.

-hen ! first found my human, ! knew he’d been bleeding out for a while. ! 4ust didn’t know hewas hemorrhaging0the wounds went that dee".

;ane hel"ed. +ore than hel"ed. ;ane was a staunch on his wounds0those ones ! couldn’t

reach. Together we scra"ed and "ushed our human until he moved about. +iki ate the food;ane brought him. ! could ask for no better hunter than ;ane. +iki no longer smelled of saltand chemicals and his eyes weren’t dead any more.

That is what worried me the most. One’s body0human or dog0could be flo""ing about fine inthe grass but once the eyes go dead, the time for their soul to leave is near and not even the body can kee" it contained.

! was very concerned about that. ! didn’t want +iki to leave me. $umans should not burn as brightly and as &uickly as *ack. They live longer because they see so little, live so little. Theyneed more time to fully become themselves and often times, they don’t make it0even whenthey are given ten(*ack lives to live.

!t is a sad thing to be human. The world must be a drenched, watery "lace with no smells andtheir eyesight0it would have been better for them if they were born blind so their other sensescould develo" better. !nstead, they are milky shadows in the world, sliding around ho"ing tosuck u" anything they can and call it living.



Of course, ! also get the feeling they believe they are in domination of the world. -hich is silly because how can a living thing own a rock A rock will be here long after the living thing becomes dust again.

+iki is not like that. ;ane is a little bit like that with the collars and baths and noise names but !humour him. $e did after all hel" me fi: +iki.

ut this new one0in the house. Smelling of things that are familiar yet are not. $e is biggerthan ;ane. They smell alike but this one is more seasoned. ruffer in some ways but when ! askhim for food, he gives me finely minced steak and once, even cow bones covered in fat andgristle.

!t’s a good human who knows gristle is the way to a dog’s heart.

This one knows.

#%on, !’m fine. ! don’t need you to check u" on me 4ust because ;ane’s at work.' +iki s"eaks tothe one who’s come. They have already s"oken at the door and for a moment, ! thought ! wouldhave to bite the One(That(!s(7ot(;ane because he was insisting on coming into the house and+iki wasn’t ha""y about it.

7ever bite a human that gives you food was my dam’s second lesson to me. !t is a good lesson.One ! follow strictly because "eo"le like smiling, ha""y dogs. ! like a full belly so it works out. !didn’t want to bite9%on, his name is %on0but ! would if ! had to. Anything for +iki.

Sometimes rules are meant to be broken. And ! knew +iki would "rotect me from harm if ! hadto defend him.

1or a cat(like human, +iki is &uite loyal.

#$e loves you, y’git,' %on rumbles, his voice as dee" as the Dane’s down the street. #; askedme to come by because he’s worried about you. -anted to make sure you ate and got someslee".'

#A "hone call wouldn’t have done that ' +iki growls back. $e "ushes back, shoving his"ersonality at the other man. $e was good at that. Shoving and ski""ing away. # esides, !’vegot Dude.'

! wagged my tail. They like it when a dog wags their tail u"on hearing the noise they’ve givenhim. !’m not sure why. There’s rarely any "lay attached to the sound but often times it meansfood so tail(wagging ! go.



!n this case, +iki "ets my head as ! 4um" u" onto the couch so ! could "ut my "aws on the backcushions and look u" at %on without hurting my neck. $e is llama(tall and ! nearly choke offmy breath looking u" at him all the time. ;ane too. oth of them are much too tall for theaverage dog to look u" at. And unlike =, they don’t s&uat to talk to me.

$e’s left the door o"en, "robably to shove %on out of it when he’s done. Outside, the giant black car %on drives is chugging away, one of its doors left o"en and its lights s"lashing u"against the outside of the house. ! like ;ane’s machine better. -e go riding in it and ! get myown window to lean out of. !t is nice.

#Dude isn’t going to get you fed,' %on "oints out.

! beg to differ. ! get hungry and +iki eats too, sometimes. !n a way, ! feed him the best ! can. !t’snot my fault he eats things crows wouldn’t touch.

#So you’re here to what %ook me dinner ' +iki re"lies. $e does sarcasm well. ! can smell itsstrong odor on his words.

#7o, ! am here to take you for +e:ican food.' %on 4erks his head back to the o"en door. #%omeon, 4um" in and ! can tell ; !’ve done my brotherly duty. Or would you rather he send our mumthe ne:t time '

+iki eyes him, disgusted at something. *etting my head, he re"lies slowly, #Only if Dude cancome with. And he gets a taco.'

$e has said a magic word. ! am off the couch and u" into the huge car before ! can hear %on’sres"onse. !t doesn’t matter because +iki is following me and my stomach is twisting u" inantici"ation.

#5ou know most dogs know sit and stay,' %on says when he gets u" into the ele"hant he calls acar. #5our dog knows taco.'

#$e also knows mac(and(cheese,' +iki says with a grin, "ulling himself u". # ut if you wantme to eat, you’ve got to feed my dog too. That’s the deal. 8ven ;ane knows that one.'

+y dog. ! "uff u" at the descri"tion. +iki’s Dog. Dude’s human. Those are lovely names. And+iki knows them both.

! shall have to add 8ater of Tacos to my names but honestly, Dude is all ! really need. ecause itholds so damned much0and all in a single noise.



Hair of the Dog • Part Six

The house was0as the young woman who’d 4ust finished scratching my belly "ut it0awesomesauce.

! wasn’t sure what kind of sauce would be awesome sauce but ! imagined it would "robably belike the yummy goodness of steak gravy over bacon.

+ostly because there’d 4ust been bacon and des"ite +iki’s disgust at my "erfectly natural bodye:"ulsions, there’d been belly rubs galore.

Also9cats. ecause the *ack knew ! love cats. They are like small grum"y cousins who reallyneed to be teased out of their unha""iness. Sun beams are all well and good but really, theworld would be a better "lace for all of us if they’d 4ust realize sometimes it’s the tail wag and baring teeth in that odd way humans do that get the treat at the end of the day.

%ats think differently. They’re still har"ing about how they were once ods. 7o goodreminding them about the whole witch’s familiar thing or how they could steal a baby’s breathmyth. !t was all about the time when humans got together, lit some candles and chanted overtheir fat furry asses.

+y human was definitely rubbing off on me.

The house had a definite *ack leader. $e was bigger than the others, older and barked dee"erwhen he s"oke. 7ot that he s"oke through most of the high("itched 4um"ing s&uees the young

belly(rubber did near my +iki but he certainly "rovided a good wall for +iki when my humantook a few ste"s back. Donal0the dam called him. +ore noises and they "robably meantsomething too but really, what does it all mean 7ames are so fluid and humans seemed veryattached to only a few sounds when they s"oke to each other. 8ven their *ack names were shortgrunts. Dad. +om. -ho communicated that way

-hat chaos it has to be when a human stands in a crowd and shouts +om or Dad $ow manyhumans turn around because that’s the noise someone makes for them.

Silliness. Silliness everywhere.

#So, ye’re Duke, eh 5e don’t look much like a Duke to me. ut that’s what rae says yer nameis.'

! wanted to tell him, no0that’s not the noise for me but well0! wasn’t made for talking.

Ah, the "ater’s shadow crossed over me as he sat down on the s&uat soft couch thing ne:t tome. !f ! were su"erstitious like a fool cat, !’d have to wait a turn of time then race around the



house to get the shadow’s dirt off of me0"referably as &uickly and as erratically as "ossible soit couldn’t find me again but9 ! am not a cat.

esides, he’d brought more bacon with him.

#The family’s going to be making ye as fat as a cow if they kee" feeding ye the way they are.'$e hel"ed a bit with the cow transformation by sni""ing a "iece of bacon off and holding it u"for me to nibble. ! licked his hand in thanks. Also, to encourage him to cough u" the rest of it.$e obliged, a little bit at a time.

#5er +iki’s looked a little shell(shocked but no worries, we’ll be taking care of him too.'Another bacon nibble and he scratched at the s"ot between my back and neck ! could onlyreach when ! rubbed u" against the stiff chair in +iki’s den.

The bacon was too much. !’d already had the meat from a bone0a lot of meat too0as well as

those cabbage things +iki dro""ed, more smaller cabbage things, a fluffy biscuit or maybethree from the "late ;ane made for himself but forgot on the table long enough for me to getsomething off of it and a few ham slices from the first belly scratcher !’d come met. The bacondefinitely was way too much for my stomach to handle and ! belched, tasting the friedyumminess on my breath.

The thum" Donal gave me on the side of my ribs didn’t hel" either and as hard as ! tried, !couldn’t hold it back. One of the snootier cats "awed at me from her "erch on a table and !turned my head its way, not wanting to foul my relationshi" with a man who clearly knew wellenough to bring me bacon when he had some.

The cat said something0"robably about my mother because cats aren’t inventive in theirinsults0and slashed at me again. This time, however, she connected and scra"ed my nose withher claw. $er smug look lasted nearly as long as the bacon did because ! cocked my head u"0and threw u" all over her.



Hair of the Dog • Part Seven

#-hat time is it ' ;ane fumbled to reach his "hone. !t was going off0an alarm of some kind.+usical but soft. #1ucking %onnor "robably changed my ringer again. -hat the hell is that '

The bed smelled0familiar. ood familiar but the sheets were cold. So were his toes. And hisshoulders. $is ass wasn’t much warmer and there was a significant breeze hitting said ass andother bared "arts of his body. One a""endage he was &uite fond of com"lained mightily of thechilly San 1rancisco air hitting it and it curled u" in on itself, refusing to bare the cold eveningoutside of the warm hollow between his thighs.

#5er a coward, ye are,' ;ane informed his dick as he grabbed a "air of sweat "ants from anearby chair. Thankfully, they were his and not +iki’s, snugging u" against his relieved cock.#$a""y now Shit, why the hell is it so cold in here And0fuck, wind '

$e swallowed the "anic choking his throat. linking, ;ane sna""ed his mind around to wherethey’d s"ent the night. +iki’d been driven out of the warehouse like a shee" being led to theslaughter and ;ane’s own mother was the border collie ni""ing at his heels until he wentthrough the gate.

# od, he’s going to kill me if she doesn’t let him go,' ;ane threw his eyes u" to the heavens to beseech any listening guardian angel without anything to do. #!f yer listening, od, "lease letme mother understand he’s not one to be cuddled. ! don’t want to "ulling him off the ceilingwhenever she comes near him because that’s surely what !’ll be doing if she doesn’t sto".'

#5ou talk like your dad when you’re slee"y.' The music sto""ed as +iki’s voice ras"ed out of ashadowy corner of the room. #+ore9!rish. <ike you’re selling me soa" or cereal.'

#$ey, there ye are.' $e rubbed at his eyes, waiting for them to ad4ust to the soft ambient lightcoming from the street. The loft(style a"artment his father’d built behind the garage was a goodenough size to hold the odd "iece of furniture and definitely large enough for shadows tocluster in its corners. +iki’d found one of those darker s"ots and "eered out from its safety,cradling a now silent acoustic guitar. #Door o"en for a reason 5er cold '

#7ah, dog had to "iss. Then he came in but ! lost track of time. 1uck, it’s freezing in here.' +ikiset the guitar down gently against the wall. !ts strings hummed when his fingers slide overthem one final time, a faint goodbye until they were reunited. $e lim"ed as he made his way back to the bed, his knee stiff and unres"onsive. ;ane caught him before he stumbled over hisown feet and +iki blistered the air with a hot curse. #Damn it.'

#-hy don’t you get back into bed ' ;ane kissed the to" of +iki’s head. #!’ll close the door.'



#And hell, now you’re really awake.' +iki "ractically launched himself at the mattress, burrowing down into the cooled off sheets. #$ell, these are cold too. -hat’s the use of a boyfriend if he doesn’t kee" the sheets warm '

#!s that what ! am then A boyfriend ' $e said it teasingly but as ;ane closed the door, hefound himself waiting for +iki’s answer. The antici"ation was shar", a razor "oised over hisheart, waiting to "lunge into him.

#5eah Shit, ! don’t know. -hat do guys call each other ' -ith the door closed, ;ane turned towatch +iki tugging and fighting with the bed linens. There was no momentous momentdangling in front of them for the singer. 7o, he was more concerned with staving off the coldthan breaking ;ane’s heart. #Didn’t we talk about this already '

#7ot really, no. Some. A bit,' ;ane admitted softly as he a""roached the bed. # ut not in somany words.'

#So that’s a no(yes(maybe ' +iki yawned and yel"ed when Dude 4um"ed u" onto the bed.#Dog, watch the nose. That fucking thing is colder than9 hell, whatever cold thing ! can’t thinkof right now. And yeah, "retty sure we’d said something or0hell. <ook, ;, you and ! bothknow ! suck at this. %an’t we 4ust cut through all the bullshit emo(feelings thing and 4ust call itso ! can go back to slee" Do ! use boyfriend or not '

#5eah,' ;ane re"lied, getting onto his hands and knees to crawl over +iki’s slender body.# oyfriend it is then, +ick. ut let’s not go back to slee" 4ust yet. 1rom the way you shiverunder me, feels like you could use some more warming u". $ere, let your boyfriend be hel"ingyou with that.'$air of the Dog > *art 8ight

!’d been on the fence 0a good "hrase borrowed from the cats0about ;ane’s dam. She wase:citable, much like a /ack )ussell ! knew and like that "articular terrier, her bite was far worsethan her bark. And by all that is smelly and ri"e, they both could bark.

Any fence sitting ! was on was over. She’d somehow taken offense to my morning frolic andtra""ed me into yet another cold, bright room that stunk of flowers, cleansers and fresh linens.These weren’t the linens on a soft fluffy bed. 7o, these were thirsty ras"y things that whilefragrant, signaled only one thing to a dog.

A human was going to scrub off every damned calling card, scent and trace of a dog’s e:istencefrom his fur and skin.

So no, ! wasn’t too thrilled about ;ane’s dam.

8s"ecially since she’d lured me in with bacon then shut the door behind me.



A dog is used to betrayal. !t ha""ens every day. *eo"le leave0sometimes forever. *eo"le die before we’re ready for them to go. And sometimes they do mean things like "retend to throw atoy to be fetched only to hold onto it and laugh while we go looking for it.

;ane’s younger brother0one of them0did that when !’d first gone out to the yard and +ikitore into him like one of the snooty cats roosting in the living room like some regal chicken. +y+iki does not like to be fooled and he suffers none of them gladly. 8rgo0good word that aswell, sea lion origin0+iki will not let anyone fool me.

So he’d "robably be on my side if he knew ;ane’s mother tem"ted me with fried "ig and thenafter feeding me the slice, "lo""ed me into a tub to hose my wanderings off of me.

To borrow a curse from the humans0 bitch.

Still, ! suffered it gladly. -ell grum"ily but ! said nothing. it no one and she’d 4ust gottenenough lather on me for "eo"le to wonder if ! was some damned "oodle when the door o"ened&uickly and yet another Donal(+onster(Son came in.

! was losing track of who was whom. They all looked alike and for the most "art, sounded thesame but they smelled differently. ! gave rigid a dirty look from under my veil of suds0that isif ! could smell him through the damned soa" she’d covered me in.

#%on, close the door. The dog’ll get out and there’ll be hell to "ay for it then.' She "racticallysang a ditty as she lathered me u".

#+a, why are ye bathing +iki’s dog That’s a bit of liberty don’t ye think ' %on0that was %on.! recognized him when he came closer and ! could "eer at him through the lather. ! tried givinghim a tried(and(true sad "u""y mourning face but either the soa" was dimming its "ower or hewas immune. ! was going to blame the soa". #%hrist, he about tore !an a new arse for fuckingwith the dog’s mind yesterday. 7ow yer going to "iss him off by washing the Dude '

#!t’s 4ust Dude. 7ot The Dude,' rigid corrected him. She was right but she didn’t have theinflection down right. +iki seemed to be the only one fluent enough in +iki(ese to "ut the right"urr on it but ! suffered the slaughtering of my noise about as well as the bath0silently and"lotting a "eeing in a shoe or two when ! could. #And ! had to wash him. $e’d gone throughthe flower beds and rolled in the fish guts yer da "ut out there for something or other. ! can’thave him smelling like a "late of hákarl when one of them gets u". They’ll think we can’t betrusted to watch the dog and then where will we be '

#7ot watching a dog ' %on sounded as confused as ! felt and ! tried to roll my eyes insym"athy but sadly, my guts rolled instead and ! felt a slither of gas esca"e me.



)evenge is a sweet sweet thing0or rather a rotten thing best served after stewing in my gutsand when rigid, +other of )olling Tongued $orde and etraying %a4oler, was bent over myass to scrub my back legs.

7eedless to say, she fled. 1led like the bacon(tricker she was, choking on my rank fur and evenranker, cabbage(laden belly. ! cast a longing look at the now o"en door and then back u" to%onnor who was standing over me with a bemused smirk on his face.

#Aye, ! know you did that on "ur"ose, you mad bastard,' he laughed, sounding more like hisfather than before as he bent over me. #And no, you’ll not be getting out a scrubbing. %ome on,let’s finish you u". And none of your tricks. ! grew u" with a "ack of brothers. There’s no stenchyou can come u" with that even comes close to the boys after a weekend of mum gone andfrozen bean burritos.'$air of the Dog > *art 7ine

+iki was full. +ostly of food but also of other things. S"layed out on a very comfortable sofa inthe +organs’ family room, he stared out of a bank of tall windows onto the back yard whereDude chased bird shadows across rain(dam" grass.

#$ere, ye look like ye could use one of these.' Donal "laced a brown bottle of cr?me soda into+iki’s hand then sat down on a wide chair set close to the sofa +iki’d snuggled into. #!’mtaking ye like cr?me soda.'

#5eah, ! do.' $e si""ed then wrinkled his nose at the bubbles. #-ow, strong. 1uzzy.'

#;ind of like yer dog there,' The head of the +organ family chuckled. #$o"e ye don’t mind,m’bride gave him a bath this morning. Seems he found a bit of fertilizer and decided it was hiskingdom.'

#$e hates baths,' +iki re"lied softly, taking another si". #! always have to chase him aroundthe house and then once ! get him in the tub, he stands there like !’m about to shove him in amicrowave or something.'

#-ell, ye’ll be ha""y to know, he also is &uite fond of bacon so rigid coa:ed him in with that.'Donal laughed at +iki’s horrified e:"ression. #<et me guess, ye’ve never bribed him like that '

#Seems kind of9 fucked, you know ' $e frowned, unsure if he liked what he was hearing.;nowing Dude0and the dog’s fondness of foul odors, he’d "robably been at a nuclear(level ofstench but still, it bothered him. #!t’s like lying, right ! mean, %arl9fuck, ;ane "robably0'

#$e told me about the man.' The words were gentle, much more soothing than any "iece of "iethe +organs’ forced at him after he’d eaten his third dinner. #5e don’t have to talk unless yewant to but know if ye do, it only goes as far as ye and me, a’ight '



#5eah, okay.' +iki nodded, sighing as Dude nearly skidded into a rose bush. #!t’s 4ust9 %arlused to0in the beginning of all his shit0he’d buy me things or give me candy. So !’d like him.Then he’d do9 shit to me. ! don’t want to do that to Dude. $e’s9 it’s not right. 5ou either givestuff because you want to or you don’t, you know Things shouldn’t be.. fucked with. ! knowit’s stu"id because he’s a dog and everything but9 hell, a""arently he’s my dog. And ! don’twant him to be lied to.'

#1air enough,' Donal murmured softly. #! can see yer "oint and ! agree. 5er relationshi" withhim is based on a lot of trust. $e’s come to ye and de"ends on ye for that. ! understand.'

#5eah, then you’re the only one.' +iki scoffed. #+ost "eo"le think !’m insane or something.'

#7o, not insane. /ust0yer world’s very stri""ed down, +iki boy. 5er honest. *eo"le sometimeshave a hard time with honesty. 5e don’t cover things u" with "retty words if ye don’t like

someone but yer "olite enough to be civil to someone ye have to.'

#Shit, you must be talking about rigid.' $e grinned at Donal. #Sorry, ! know she’s your wife,dude, but she’s9 man, she’s like swallowing Sriracha to cool down your throat after youmunched on a habañero.'

#!t’s why ! fell in love with her.' Donal "ut his feet u" on a low coffee table then grinned at+iki. #+’life was very9ordinary before ! met rigid 1innegan. Then, ! couldn’t imagine me lifewithout her. %razy and stubborn to a fault but fierce and loyal. ! knew she’d be a good motherto m’children and a good soul to have in m’heart for the rest of m’days. She’s "retty too. Thathad a long way of it, +iki boy.'

#5eah, !’m going to take your word on that one.' $e shrugged. #-omen0not asingle9anything.'

#7o, !’d gathered not,' Donal teased. # ut ! "romise ye something, +iki boy. ! will do my very best to ensure none of mine "ush ye too hard or do harm to ye and yer dog. That ! "romise ye.'

#5eah.' +iki eyed him carefully. #-hat do ! have to do for that '

#5e 4ust kee" lovin’ my ;ane. ecause ! tell ye, boyo , !’ve never seen m’son as ha""y as he iswith ye,' Donal winked at +iki. #And for that, !’ll battle any dragon that needs it. 8ven if it’smy boy’s mother.'



Hair of the Dog • Part Ten

!’d forgiven ;ane.

!t took me a bit longer than ! liked but when he brought +iki home0my human was not in thecondition he’d been when he left the house. $e was better now but not at first. !t’d been days but still, he hurt. adly.

7o, ;ane was on my shit list. And ! could shit a lot.

<uckily for ;ane, there was steak being grilled on an outside stove(thing and !’d been "romisedone of my very own.

*romised by Donal01ather of the 1oot(Stom"ers and rumbling +ountains, +ate of theetrayer.

Still, a man sometimes has to make do with what he has in front of him and that’s the onlyreason ! could think of Donal having the etrayer as a mate. -ell0looking around the yard0she also seemed to have very large litters, a "lus if a male wants to establish a bloodline to leave behind.

!’d already done my "art. *referring only human(bonded mates ensures not only a healthy litter but also "u""ies nearly always guaranteed to find their own humans without much effort. Sofar, all si:teen of my offs"ring have been scattered about the neighbourhoods and each of themare content.

That is all a dog could ask for in life.

That and freely(given bacon but a""arently that is too much to ask of some "eo"le.

*eo"le.

+iki was "eo"le. ood "eo"le. $e’d come back to the house broken a bit but better inside. $e’dgone out to fight something inside of him but instead found someone waiting for him0an evilhe didn’t create but rea"ed anyway.

Sometimes humans betrayed each other with much bigger things than bacon.

! found my +iki and climbed u" into his la". $e didn’t mind that !’d found the dead fish gutsagain although this time, ! merely nosed them around a bit. They smelled of Donal and oranges.The first !’m fine with. The second sting my nostrils so ! left it be.



Although by the cat(smug look on Donal’s face when he saw me come out of the roses, !’d sayhe was the one who’d gotten orange in there somehow.

#5our dog smells a hell of a lot better. !t’s a wonder what regular baths can do.' ;ane nibbledon +iki’s neck. They do a lot of ni""ing between them. +ore than !’d ever get away with butthey seemed to like it. !t’s "robably a lot nicer without having so much fur getting caught between their teeth but !’m only guessing on that. ;ane’s hairy enough to be Shibu !nu in some"laces. #And !’m gathering he’s wanting a "iece of steak.'

#$e always wants a "iece of steak. 5our dad got him one too.' +iki nodded to where Donalwas slivering u" my dinner and "utting the "ieces into my bowl. #$e’s going to have enough.Shit, your dad even grilled him carrots.'

#$e’d grill you carrots if you wanted them.'

#Do ! look like !’d eat grilled carrots ' $e sneered. +y human really does sneer well but ! dolike carrots. #$ell, aren’t carrots su""osed to be raw '

#5ou 4ust like long raw things to chew on,' ;ane teased then grumbled when =uinn sat downon the lounging chair ne:t to them. #$ey, go find your own love nest. -e’re talking carrots,here.'

#! heard.' ! liked =uinn. ! liked him even better once ! realized he was "robably as sideways as+iki. $e snuck me a "iece of broccoli, making sure it was di""ed in white slathering stuff before he gave it to me. #5our dog is more bunny than canine. Or do you think he is like this because he was a street dog before he moved in with you.'

#Don’t give him that, =(bert. $e’ll be9'

#$e can slee" with you tonight, =. !’m done with him hotbo:ing me out of the bedroom.' +ikiwrinkled his nose. # ad enough ;ane snores.'

#Do not.'

#5ou do, actually.' =uinn remarked softly and ! slid over to his la", begging shamelessly foranything he wanted to give me. +ournful "u""y eyes worked on him and ! got a "iece ofcris"y chicken skin from his "late. 7early as good as bacon. #5ou’ve snored ever since )afe"unched you in the nose that first time.'

#$e shouldn’t have grabbed my ass.' ;ane "rotested then yel"ed again when %onnor flicked afinger against the back of his head.



#)afe grabs everyone’s ass.' %onnor stole the last "iece of chicken from =uinn’s "late and s"litit with me. !f ! wasn’t careful, !’d be too fat to get u" the stairs to slee" on =uinn’s bed. #’Sides,if it wasn’t for )afe, you and =uinn would still be blundering around thinking you likedwomen.'

#! knew ! never liked women,' =uinn snorted, sla""ing +iki’s hand when my human raised itu" in salute. #!’d rather slee" with Dude here.'

# ood,' ;ane growled "layfully, baring his teeth in that funny way he did. # ecause tonight,the only warm thing ! want in my bed chewing on my toes, is this one here.'

! snorted as best ! could.

As if !’d ever chew on his toes.



Hair of the Dog • Part Eleven

+iki’d healed u" enough to be grum"y. ;ane bore it well but after the corner store com"lainedabout Dude’s ravaging of their outside "roduce cart, +iki and the dog were going on a roadtri" to the "ier. They went in the TO, ;ane driving through %hinatown as if his life de"endedon it.

%onsidering how shitty +iki felt, ;ane "robably felt like it was.

$e knew he should have been ha""y. $ell, he was alive. ;ane0fuck, so much of his life was good because of ;ane but there was a small "art of him lying in darkness.

And nothing would ever scrub that bit of black out of his heart.

#Do you think Damie knew ! loved him ' +iki glanced at ;ane as he drove into a "arking

structure. $is lover’s hands were firm on the wheel and his knuckles weren’t white so +ikifigured the &uestion wasn’t too off base. #! mean before9 you know '

#+ick, ! think Damie "robably only got into $eaven because you loved him,' ;ane muttered,"ulling into an em"ty s"ace. #1rom what !’ve heard about the two of you, !’m sur"rised theydidn’t lock the doors and throw away the keys to $ell because they’re scared you’’d show u".'

#-e weren’t that bad,' he "aused, thinking about their first road tri" and how many barsthey’d been thrown out of. #Okay, maybe a little bit but not like we /ake(and(8lwooded San1rancisco.'

#$uh,' ;ane grunted.

Damn, he hated that sound. $e hated it even more since he was "retty sure ;ane’d "icked it u"from him.

Dude was eager to lea" out of the car but a stern no ke"t him inside until ;ane cli""ed a leashto the dog’s harness. +iki swung his legs out and winced when he struck the car door with hisfoot. A cane s"routed u" from the back seat as ;ane 4ostled it over the console.

#Take this, it’s dangerous out there.'

#1unny. !’m sure they laugh their heads off down there at the end of the rainbow.' $e took thecane, leaning most of his weight onto it as he got out of the car. #5ou win a "rize. Tem"orarycustody of my dog.'

#-ell, at least you’re admitting he’s your dog now.'



#Only when you’re walking him and "eo"le come over to coo at you.' $e batted his lashed,widening his eyes in mockery at some of the women they’d met during their infre&uent strolls.#Oh, what a lovely "u""y. -hat breed is he 5ou must be really good at training him becausehe’s so well behaved.'

#5eah, so well behaved he 4ust took a "iss on my sneaker.' ;ane shook off a few dro"lets off ofhis foot and glared down at the blond dog laughing at him. #5ou, boyo , are damned lucky heloves you because ! 4ust don’t let anyone "iss on my foot.'

#5ou better not let anyone "iss on your foot,' +iki warned him, hobbling alongside of ;ane.#Or anything else of yours for that matter. -hy would you do that !t’s disgusting.'

#Some "eo"le believe urine is a "anacea.'

#A what '

#Something that can cure all their ills.'

#Shit, why didn’t you say that to begin with And if it did, why do "eo"le get kidney "roblemsThat’s where "iss is stored, right -ait, no9that’s the bladder. -hat do the kidneys do 1ilterstuff out '

#About that,' ;ane chuckled. #7ot u" on biology much are we '

#! know where your dick is.' +iki shot back. #And your mouth. *retty much all the body "arts! need to worry about. !f any of those move, then !’ll have a "roblem.'

They walked, slowly and not very far. To ward off the cold, +iki’d layered his clothes as muchas he could and still bend a bit but the chill worked its way into his bones and he faltered,nearly to""ling over a "ylon. ;ane grabbed his elbow, 4erking him back u"right. $e’d "ulledtoo hard, throwing +iki off balance in another direction and the lovers bum"ed one another,nearly ste""ing on Dude sitting on the sidewalk between them.

Dude grunted his dis"leasure then got u" to sniff at a nearby wrought iron fence "ost while;ane untangled +iki from his arms.

#$ey, that’s Old <ady 1innegan’s "lace.' +iki 4erked his chin towards an !rish "ub set nearlyu" against the edge of the "ier. #+an, wonder if she’s still around. -ait, 1innegan. 5ou saidyour aunt or something used to own a "ub before she died. 5our aunt’s Old <ady 1innegan2'

#-ell, she was. *assed now, remember +y cousin, Sionn, owns the "lace now.' ;ane tuggedon Dude’s leash to get his attention but the dog ignore him, "referring to continue his sniffing



investigation of the "ub’s outdoor tables. #$e’s been scarce, our Sionn. Da says he’s back intown but !’ve not seen him.'

#That’s 6cause he’s hiding from your mother,' +iki muttered. #-e’ll have to come back. Sheused to kick me out of here all the time. +e and Damie. She hated musicians "laying in front ofher "lace. 3sed to beat us away with a broom.'

#5eah, she’d do that to her own kin too if you didn’t move fast enough.' ;ane smiled, hookinghis arm around +iki’s waist. #%ome on, let’s go home. !’ve got a mind to warm you u" someand "ut a smile on that face of yours.'

#Today’s the day, you know ' +iki moved slowly, the cane ta""ing along the sidewalk.

#The day you lost your boys '

#5eah.' $e used to refuse to cry but in the warmth of ;ane’s embrace0even a half(embrace0+iki let his tears go, hot and bittersweet on his face. #!’m glad ! have you. ! mean, fuck0! loveyou, ;ane but ! miss them. ! 4ust fucking hate not having them with me.'

#They’re always with you, +ick,' ;ane whis"ered then kissed at a tear welling u" along +iki’slashes. #And some day, you’ll see them again. ! know it. ! can feel it in my bones.'

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