Conflict management

USING CONFLICT MANAGEMENTSOURCE: GUIDANCE APPROACH FOR THE ENCOURAGING CLASSROOM 4TH ED.

BY: DAN GARTRELL, ED.D.

LECTURER: MARY GRACE S. TERMULO, Ph.D.CONTACT: +639175637794; [email protected]

FOR :DISCUSSION

◦ THE ESSENTIALS OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

◦ DEVELOPMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS IN USING CONFLICT

MANAGEMENT

◦ THE FIVE-FINGER FORMULA FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

◦ TEACHING CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS

◦ FAMILY DIVERSITY

A. THE ESSENTIALS OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict Management

What is essential t o know about conflict

management?

ConflictReal Life Learning

Opportunity

Democratic Life Skills

More Productive Learning

Environment

Teacher’s Task in the Encouraging Classroom

ILLUSTRATING THE TERMS

• SOCIAL PROBLEM SOLVING – the ability to

manage potential and actual conflict in

peaceable ways (e.g. Aisha’s reaction to Starre’s

question)


ILLUSTRATING THE TERMS

• SOCIAL PROBLEM SOLVING – the ability to

manage potential and actual conflict in

peaceable ways (e.g. Aisha’s reaction to Starre’s

question)

• MEDIATION – teaching verbal responsiveness in

place of aggression and victimization

• IMPULSE CONTROL – a cluster of skills needed to

so social problem solving• Emotional Intelligence

• Intra-personal intelligence

• Interpersonal intelligence

• Social competence

• Democratic life skills

• CONFLICT RESOLUTION – positive response after a

conflict has occurred


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CLASSROOM ANECDOTE

Tracy and Matilda were busy with the yellow and blue

play dough. Thomas cam over to the table and asked

for some.

Thomas grabbed some yellow play dough from Matilda.

Matilda began to wail, Tracy tried to wrestle the play

dough back from Thomas, who pushed at her with his

free hand.


Matilda But you can’t have any ‘cause there isn’t any more.

Thomas But you got some and you have to share.

Tracy But not now ‘cause you too late.

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CLASSROOM ANECDOTE

Claire, the teacher, arrived and said, “I hear angry voices

here. There is a problem we need too talk about. Tracy,

please sit down. Thomas, please give me the play dough

to hold or put it in front of you on the table.”

Thomas put it down, but kept one hand on it.


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CLASSROOM ANECDOTE


Claire First, everyone take three deep breaths to cool down.

Ready? One… Two… Three… That’s better. Now I

need to hear from each of you what the problem is.

Matilda, you first.

Matilda Thomas took my play dough when I didn’t give him

any.

Claire How did that make you feel, Matilda?

Matilda Sad, ‘cause he just took it.

Claire Now its your turn, Tracy.

Tracy He was too late ‘cause we were using it. He took

Matilda’s and I tried to get it back.

Thomas I just wanted to play dough to make grass from the

ocean and sun.

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CLASSROOM ANECDOTE


Claire What? “OK, Thomas, it is your turn.”

Thomas If you mix the sun play dough and ocean play dough,

you get grass play dough.

Claire You’re right, you do! Yellow and blue together make green. Then what happened, Thomas?

Thomas They wouldn’t give any so I took a little bit.

Claire Well, there are three who all want to use play dough. Is

that right? (Kids nod.) How can we fix this problem so

there is no fighting?

Matilda He can have the yellow, but no more.

Tracy He could have some of my ocean play dough.

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CLASSROOM ANECDOTE


Claire Thanks, Tracy. Thomas, will that be enough play

dough?

Thomas Well, a little more sun play dough. (Matilda tears off

more and slaps it in front of Thomas.)

Claire I think we almost solved this problem, but is there

something more you could say, Thomas?

Thomas Thanks, I won’t take no more.

Claire Next time there is a problem what can you do so there

is no fighting?

Tracy Talk about it.

Matilda Get your teacher.

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CLASSROOM ANECDOTE

Claire watches as the three sit at the table, Thomas apart

from the two. Before long they are talking together as all

three make “grass.” Less space separates Thomas. They

sit at the table till center time is over.


Claire Sharing is important, so if someone asks to share, try to

talk about it. But if there is a problem, come get me.

Fighting doesn’t help us get along, doesn’t it? No.

GUIDELINES FOR USING CONFLICT

MANAGEMENT

Guide

1 The teacher calms down all parties

before starting.

2 The teacher intervenes firmly, not as a

moral authority but as a democratic

leader.

3 As mediator, the teacher shares power.

4 The teacher supports the right of

personal expression and the skill of

effective communication.

5 The teacher need not mediate perfectly

for children to learn social problem

solving skills.


B. DEVELOPMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS IN USING CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Using Conflict Management

How does understanding young children’s

development assist in conflict management?

How to Mediate

Acknowledge & Support Feelings

Define Problems in

Simple Terms

Reinforce: Two Sides to a

Situation

See One’s Contribution to Problem

Suggest Their Own Solutions

Help Evaluate a Solution

Self Negotiation in

the Future

B. Developmental Considerations In Using Conflict Management

PEACE PROPS

◦ TALK-AND-LISTEN CHAIRS / PEACE TABLE


PEACE PROPS

◦ TALKING STICK


PEACE PROPS

◦ PEACE/POWER/PROBLEM PUPPETS


MAIN POINTS

• Three most common source of conflict in young

children

• The younger the child, the more likely the dispute

is to be over property.

• Children can learn to see problems in a broader

• Teaching children conflict management skills

helps them to progress with an important lifelong

skill.

How does

understanding

young children’s

development

assist in conflict

management?


C. THE 5-FINGER FORMULA FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict Management

What is the five-finger formula for conflict

management?


1. Cool down

(all of you)

2. Discuss & agree what the

problem is.

3. Brainstorm solutions

4. Agree on a solution & how

it will work. Discuss what

can be learned from the

conflict.

5. Try it out, with adult

monitoring and follow-

up guidance as

needed.

FIVE-FORMULA FOR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:

One morning two boys were arguing over some Lego

wheels. Their faces were getting really intense and their

voices were getting louder this is what happened when I

tried to resolve the issue.

The boys said OK and come over.


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Dylan Hey, those are my wheels. You took my wheels (whining loudly).

Austin (Yells.) No, I had them first.

Jennifer Boys, I can see you are upset. Please come sit with me for a

minute. I will hold the wheels just for now.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


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Jennifer Thank you. First, let’s all take a couple of deep breaths and

then we will see what’s going on. Ready, 1… 2… 3… OK,

now let’s talk about what happened. Dylan you can start

and then we will ask Austin next.

Dylan He took my wheels that I was using yesterday and was

gonna use today.

Jennifer OK, Austin now you tell me what happened.

Austin He wasn’t here yet so I thought I could use the wheels.

Jennifer It sounds to me like we are having trouble figuring out who

should get the wheels, huh?

Boys Yeah.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


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Jennifer OK, let’s see if we can’t come up with a way that you will

both get a chance with the wheels. Do either of you have

an idea?

Dylan He should give them back to me.

Jennifer Do you think that is a fair idea?

Austin No, then when do I get to play with them?

Jennifer Can you think of another idea, so you both will have a chance to use the wheels?

Dylan He can keep using them today and then tomorrow I will

get to use them.

Jennifer Austin, what do you think of that idea?

Austin OK

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:

The boys go over and play together with the Legos.

Austin uses the wheels. Dylan finds an older broken-down

set but makes them work. There are not any more

problems.


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Jennifer Great, but next time something like this happens we need

to use our words and not get mad right away. Then if it is still

a problem come and get me or another adult in the class.

Does that sound OK to you?

Boys Yes.

Jennifer OK, go play!

ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

1. COOL DOWN (ALL OF YOU)


ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

2. DISCUSS AND AGREE WHAT THE PROLEM IS


ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

3. BRAINSTORM SOLUTIONS ALL CAN LIVE WITH.


ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

4. AGREE ON A SOLUTION AND HOW IT WILL WORK.


ANALYSIS OF THE

FORMULA

5. TRY IT OUT, WITH THE ADULT’S MONITORING AND

GUIDANCE IF NEEDED.



TWO POTHOLES TO AVOID

Blaming the children for the conflict,

rather than to focus on the mediating.

Determining the resolution for the

children

MAIN POINTS

•Be a model

•Provide specific steps in high-emotion situations

•The five-finger formula includes the essential steps

addressed by many models.

•Avoid the two potholes in using the formula What is the

five-finger

formula for

conflict

management?


D. TEACHING CONFLICT MANAGEMENT SKILLS

Conflict Management

How does the adult teach conflict

management skills to children?

High-Level Mediation

Low-Level Mediation

Child Negotiation

GOAL OF SOCIAL PROBLEM SOLVING

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:

At the child care center on April 1. I had just finished

readng a book to Ana. She had set it aside to hear me

read another book to some more students. Charlie came

up and took the book from the table that Ana and I had

just finished.


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CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


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Ana Charlie, NO! Give me that back. (Ana takes the book from

Charlie’s hand.)

Charlie (Screaming and crying) I wanted to look at that!

Zoe Hey, girls, I think we need to work this out, but first we need

to cool down a bit. (Taking both girls on either side of me,

with my arms around both of them.) Can you each take three big breaths? (Ana shakes her head and turns back to

me.) Okay, Ana, you can cool down on your own however

you want. (Charlie and I count out three big breaths.) Are

you ready to talk yet, Ana?

Ana Yes. (She turns back toward us.)

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


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Zoe Ana, what happened?

Ana I was reading that book and…

Charlie You were not. I got it from the table.

Zoe Charlie, you will have your turn too, but right now we are

listening to Ana.

Ana Yeah, so I was reading the book and Charlie came over

and took it from me.

Zoe OK, are you done now?

Ana Yes.

Zoe Charlie, what do you think happened?

Charlie Ana was done with the book. I was going to read it.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


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Zoe So Ana thought she was still using the book, and Charlie

thought she was done. Is that right? (Both girls knod.) How

do you think we can solve this problem?

Charlie Maybe Ana can just give me the book.

Zoe Would that work for both of you?

Ana No, I am not done with it yet. Let me read it one more time.

Zoe One more time and then you will give it to Charlie? Charlie, what do you think of that?

Charlie OK.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


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Zoe Thank you, Charlie. I like how you both solved the problem

together. (Charlie got up to play with other toys and Ana

returned to my lap with the book.) Ana, you made me sad

when you took the book away from Charlie like that. What

else could you have done instead of pulling and pushing?

Ana Asked her for it?

Zoe I think that sounds like a good idea. How could you have asked?

Ana Charlie, I am not done yet. Give it back to me now!

Zoe Could you add a friendly word on the end?

Ana (Grins.) Please.

CLASSROOM ANECDOTE:


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Zoe You got it! (I got up to check on another group and I saw

Ana look at the book cover and then get up and give it to

Charlie.)

Ana Here.

Charlie Thanks. (Ana then went to a different center and continued

playing.)

High-Level Mediation

Low-Level Mediation

Child Negotiation

GOAL OF SOCIAL PROBLEM SOLVING

MAIN POINTS

•Modelling and encouragement

•A “developmental timetable” does not exist

•With guidance four-year-olds negotiate many

conflicts themselves

•Without guidance many eight-year-olds do not. How does the

adult teach

conflict

management

skills to

children?


E. FAMILY DIVERSITY

Conflict Management

What do teachers need to understand

about two trends in family diversity?

FATHER AS CAREGIVER

FAMILIES

E. FAMILY DIVERSITY

GRAND-PARENTS RAISING GRAND-

CHILDREN

E. FAMILY DIVERSITY

MAIN POINTS

• Provide fathers with useful information and

resources for parenting education

• Assist grandparents

• Respect whatever family structureWhat do

teachers need

to understand

about two

trends in family

diversity?

E. FAMILY DIVERSITY

USING CONFLICT MANAGEMENTSOURCE: GUIDANCE APPROACH FOR THE ENCOURAGING CLASSROOM 4TH ED.

BY: DAN GARTRELL, ED.D.

LECTURER: MARY GRACE S. TERMULO, Ph.D.CONTACT: +639175637794; [email protected]

Conflict management

Education

Transcript of Conflict management