Conflict Management

Managing Conflict Successfully

Thomas Little Consulting

722 Dryden Drive

Baltimore, MD 21229

443-838-2820

[email protected]

Lecture Plan Definition of conflict Why conflicts occur/workplace conflict Elements of conflict Behavioral symptoms of conflict Conflict structure Conflict management Aggression versus assertiveness

Definition of Conflict (2 of 2)

A situation in which someonebelieves that his or her own

needs have been denied.

“The goal of organizational leadership is not to eliminate conflict, but to use it.”

“Conflict is a predictable social phenomenon and should be channeled to useful purposes.”

Constructive Approach to Conflict

Thomas Little Consulting 6

Constructive Approach to Conflict

Understand the sources of conflict and its role in forming and facilitating human relationships

Reduce your fear of conflict Create an environment of win/win/win conflict management

through effective problem solving Listen to others with concern and understanding to find

effective ways to negotiate and achieve conflict resolution Accept your responsibility and role in producing positive

results from conflict situations Give and receive feedback more effectively Confront others in a more caring and constructive way Build personal self-confidence and credibility as an effective

conflict manager


Conflict Involves…

Emotions: What you feel is important

Perceptions: What you see at stake

Behaviors: How you act with others

Symptoms Of Conflict

Tensions. No desire to

communicate. Work not done properly. Disastrous meetings. Anger occurs quickly and

easily.

The employee (or employees) involved display no desire to communicate.

Bad tempers are evident. Productivity is falling. Morale is slipping.


One or more of those involved frequently calls in sick.

Accidents and errors become more frequent.

Disagreements become more pronounced (shouting, slamming doors, etc.)



Conflict Depends Upon…

1. Interdependency. How much do the parties need each other to act cooperatively, to provide resources, or to provide satisfaction of other needs?

If interdependency is high, then the costs of a fight are likely to be high. If there were absolutely no interdependency, then conflict wouldn’t exist at all. So, by definition, conflict occurs only between parties who need each other and who cannot simply leave the relationship with no negative consequences.



Number of interested parties. How many distinct parties— individuals or groups—have an interest in how the conflict is resolved? As the number and size of parties increase, there are more people to please and the difficulty of resolving the conflict increases.



Constituent representation. Do the parties represent the interests of other people (“constituents”) who are not personally and directly involved in the process of resolving the conflict?

When we speak only for ourselves and do not have to please others who are not present and involved, resolution is much easier. Reaching an agreement that is acceptable to everyone who is affected by how the issue is resolved, especially those who are not personally involved, is more difficult.


Conflict Depends Upon… Negotiator authority.

If negotiator authority is high, then resolution is easier.If negotiator authority is low, then the process of resolving the conflict will take longer and will be more difficult.

Authoritarian states versus democratic societies



Critical urgency. Is it absolutely necessary that a solution be found in the very near future, i.e., in the next few minutes or hours, to prevent a disaster? Or is there time to talk together for an extended time to find the best solution?

The greater the critical urgency, the less likely a consensual solution will emerge easily.


Conflict Depends Upon…Communication channels. Are the parties able to talk to each other face to face in the

same room? If this is not possible, can they talk voice to voice on the

telephone? Or must they talk keyboard to keyboard by using real-time (synchronous) Internet technology, such as an on-line conference or chat room? Or is it necessary that they communicate back and forth using an asynchronous technology, such as email?

Same-time-same place dialogue nearly always produces far better solutions than lesser communication channels.

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Conflict Management

Managing conflict means you need to develop several styles and decide which is valuable at any given point of conflict


7 choices you can make in conflict1. Avoid it

2. Give in

3. Be Passive - Aggressive

4. Bully the other person

5. Compromise

6. Problem Solve

7. Manage to Win-Win-Win

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Competition

Plus The winner is clear Winners usually experience gains

Minus Establishes the battleground for the next

conflict May cause worthy competitors to withdraw or

leave the organization

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Accommodation

Plus Curtails conflict situation Enhances ego of the other

Minus Sometimes establishes a precedence Does not fully engage participants

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Compromise

Plus Shows good will Establishes friendship

Minus No one gets what they want May feel like a dead end

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Collaboration

Plus Everyone “wins” Creates good feelings

Minus Hard to achieve since no one knows how Often confusing since players can “win”

something they didn’t know they wanted

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Tips for Managing Workplace Conflict Build good relationships before conflict occurs Do not let small problems escalate; deal with them as they

arise Respect differences Listen to others’ perspectives on the conflict situation Acknowledge feelings before focussing on facts Focus on solving problems, not changing people If you can’t resolve the problem, turn to someone who can

help Remember to adapt your style to the situation and persons

involved


Conflict Options

Win-Lose Lose-Lose Compromise Win-Win


Win-Lose

In Win – Lose, one party gets what he or she wants, whereas the other comes up short.

Power is the distinguishing characteristic in win-lose problem solving, for it is necessary to defeat an opponent to get what one wants.


Lose-Lose Neither party is satisfied with the

outcome.

Most of us have seen battles of pride in which both parties strike out and both suffer.


Compromise

Compromise give both parties some of what they wanted, though both sacrifice part of their goals.

Although compromises may be the best obtainable result in some conflicts, it’s important to realize that both people in a dispute can often work together to find much better solutions.


Win – Win The goal is to find a solution that satisfies the

needs of everyone involved. Not only do the parties avoid trying to win at the

other’s expense, but they also believe that by working together it is possible to find a solution that goes beyond mere compromise and allows all parties to reach their goal in the conflict.


Win / Win / Win

The

Golden

Triangle

You

The administration Students or other

Employees


How to Win at Conflict

Make avoiding the conflict less pleasurable than facing it and …

Make facing the conflict more pleasurable than avoiding it

Whether you think you can or you can’t –

you’re right – Henry Ford


Aggression Interrupt others when they are speaking. Try to impose our position on others. Make decisions for others. Use and abuse friendships. Speak loudly and otherwise call attention to ourselves. Accuse, blame, and find fault with others without regard to their feelings. Bring harm or cause inconvenience to others rather than bring or cause

inconvenience to ourselves. Speak beside the issue, distort the facts, or misrepresent the truth to get

our solutions accepted quickly. Consider ourselves stronger and more capable than others. Accept responsibility and positions of authority for the purposes of

manipulation or to give us a means of vehemently expressing ourselves.


Assertiveness Allow others to complete their thoughts before speaking. Stand up for the position that matches our feelings or the evidence. Make our own decisions based on what we think is right. Look to friendships as opportunities to learn more about ourselves and others

and to share ideas. Spontaneously and naturally enter into conversations using a moderate tone

and volume of voice. Try to understand the feelings of other before describing our own. Try to avoid harm and inconvenience by talking out our problems or finding

rational ways to deal with unavoidable harm / inconvenience. Face problems and decisions squarely. Consider ourselves strong and capable, but generally equal to most other

people. Face responsibility with respect to our situation, needs, and rights.


Problems with Being Nonassertive

We end up with shoddy merchandise and service. We bottle up our feelings. We do not improve a bad situation. We cheat another person out of a change to air the real

issues. We get involved in situations we would rather not be in. We end up being a "yes" person -- having to do all the work

while others sit by and watch. We run into communication barriers because nobody is willing

to say what he or she really wants.


Fear of Assertiveness

Laziness. Apathy. Feelings of inadequacy. Fear of being considered unworthy, unloved, or

unacceptable. Fear of hurting the other person or making him or her

angry. Fear of getting no reinforcement. Fear of not knowing how to accomplish our desired goal. Feeling that if we don't do it, someone else will.


Improving Assertiveness

Take responsibility for yourself. Don't over apologize. Don't try to rearrange someone else's life. Feel free to change your mind. Feel free to make mistakes. Learn to recognize unanswerable questions. Feel free to say "I don't know". Don't be overly dependent on the goodwill of others. Feel free to say "I don't understand". Feel free to say "I don't care." Learn to make "I *messages*" to express yourself. Learn to repeat assertions. Feel free to make requests. Feel free to say "no."


Non-Assertiveness

Stay in the back of groups. Always stick to the middle-of-the-road position or refrain from taking a

stand. Allow others to make decisions for us. Pass by potential friendships because they seem like too much effort. Always keep our voice low or avoid eye contact to keep from calling

attention to ourselves. Verbally agree with others despite our real feelings. Bring harm or inconvenience to ourselves to avoid harming or

inconveniencing others. Procrastinate to avoid problems and to keep from making decisions. Always consider ourselves weaker and less capable than others. Always escape responsibility with excuses and "good" reasons

Conflict Management

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