Conflict Management -10.7
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Transcript of Conflict Management -10.7
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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
Dr. Manoranjan DhalAsst. Professor, IIMK
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EXERCISE - I Think of a recent (even old) conflict in which you
were an active party It made an impact on you Create the full picture.
If you go back to that incident again, what would you do differently?
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EXERCISE - I Who initiated? What was I feeling at that time? What do I feel when I remember the incident? What was the other party thinking? What leads me to behave like that? What are the consequence on my actions? Do I need to take any action to resolve any
misunderstanding?
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Much of our thoughts and behaviour is based on what we have learnt so far in lifeWhat has been learned can be unlearned.
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REINFORCING FAULTY LEARNING
Having/repeating an experience
Generalizing/drawing faulty conclusions
Faulty conclusions affect
mindset/behaviour
Setting yourself up to
repeat the experience
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EARLY PROGRAMMING
YOU
Nature
Inherited tendencies
Nurture
Physical
Warmth, food, healthy
environment
Emotional
Unconditional love, support and a caring environment
Intellectual
Mental stimulation,
education
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WHAT COLOURS OUR PERCEPTION Age Culture Religion Gender Education Background Position in society Job/career Previous experience Character Nature/genes Prevailing external influence
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DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONS Happiness Sadness Anger Fear Resentment Guilt Hurt Regret
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CONFLICT ARISES BECAUSE We feel threatened by someone whom we
perceive Operates from a different set of values and beliefs Invades what we see as our territory Takes away something we consider to be rightfully
ours Is different from us in some way Causes us discomfort.
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CONFLICT DEFINED Conflict is defined as a process that begins when a
party has negatively affected, or is about to negatively affect something that the first party cares about.
Includes Incompatibility of goals Differences over interpretation of facts Disagreements based on behavioural expectations Disagreements
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ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURE AND CONFLICT Not walking the Talk- vision and mission,
customer focused, equal opportunity Mismatch between Individual and company
Values and Beliefs child labour The Psychological Contract
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LEVELS OF CONFLICT Intra-Personal Inter-personal Inter-Group Inter- Organization Inter-national
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THE LEVELS OF CONFLICT Discomfort Incident Misunderstanding Tension Crisis
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POSSIBLE STAKEHOLDERS OF CONFLICT
YOU
Supplier, department,
team
colleagues
bosses
Members of team
others
Your organization,
other organization
Company culture
customers
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INDICATORS OF CONFLICT IN AN ORGANIZATION Communication is increasing in the form of
memos and e-mails More people working behind closed doors Meeting that do not achieve anything Them and us language Raised voice and tears Long lunch hours and poor timekeeping Low morale, tension People looking glum and stressed
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INTERACTION BRINGS DIFFERENCES Internal Boundaries role, authority External boundaries supplier, consultant Territorial boundaries car park Material goods and resources Weak/poor management Lack of professional management training Leadership/management style Poor decision making process Poor interpersonal skill Poor change management Inequality among staff
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BEHAVIOUR THAT EXHIBIT CONFLICT Shouting Insulting/cursing Humiliating Making accusations Bringing up the past Sulking Tears Withdrawing Physical violence Avoidance Pretending it is not happening Becoming resentful Bottling up our emotions Storming off in a huff Taking revenge
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CHANGE BEGINS WITH
ME
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EXERCISE Write down what you actually do when you are a
party to conflict
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FIGHT BEHAVIOUR
FLIGHT BEHAVIOUR
ShoutingViolenceSlamming the doorName-calling etc.
WithdrawalDenialGiving inCrying etc.
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THE CONFLICT PROCESS
Stage I Stage II Stage III Stage IV Stage VPotential Opposition or incompatibility
Cognition and Penalization Intentions Behaviour Outcomes
Antecedent Conditions
Communication
StructurePersonal Variable
Perceived Conflict
Felt Conflict
Increased Group
Performance
Conflict-handlingIntentions
CompetingCollaboratingCompromisingAvoidingAccommodating
Overt Conflict
Partys BehaviourOthers reaction Decreased Group
Performance
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CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLES Conflict exists whenever two or more parties are in disagreement.
Forcing conflict style: user attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive behavior.Avoiding conflict style: user attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it.Accommodating conflict style: user attempts to resolve the conflict by passively giving in to the other party.Compromising conflict style: user attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions.Collaborating conflict style: user assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties. 22
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CONFLICT The Offer Win Lose
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CONFLICT HANDLING BEHAVIOURAssertive
Unassertive
Asse
rtiv
enes
s
CooperativeUncooperative
Cooperativeness
Competition Collaboration
Compromise
Avoidance Accommodation
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FIVE CONFLICT HANDLING ORIENTATION Competition Win-lose approaches Collaboration Win-Win approaches Avoidance - Withdrawing from or suppressing
conflict Accommodation Opponents interest is above
self-interest Compromise- Each party to give up something
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REACTION VS. RESPOND
Reaction RespondListen To self Listen To
othersFightFlight
AggressivePassiveAssertive
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USING ASSERTIVENESS Assertiveness Aggressiveness Passive
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BEHAVIOUR BREEDS BEHAVIOUR
What you think and
feel
How you behaveHow others think and feel
How others behave
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INTENTIONS Cooperativeness: - The degree to which one party
attempts to satisfy other partys concern Assertiveness : - The degree to which one party
attempts to satisfy his or her own concern
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ASSERTIVENESS Being viewed as honest, open, and forthright Stand up for their rights
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DEALING WITH AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR Use your assertiveness skills Acknowledge their emotions Use active listening skills Dont take it personally Use neutral posture, tone of voice and facial
expression Maintain eye contact but do not try to outstare
them.
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DEALING WITH PASSIVE BEHAVIOUR Empathize Be patient Offer support Use coaching skills to draw them out Allow silence in your conversation Ask open questions Watch for non-verbal responses Be firm and persistent
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PRACTICE ASSERTIVENESS A co-worker comes into your office and say,
Pandey, I need 20 of your people to work on this project immediately.
Your boss says, I dont see any real reason to continue this discussion.
Your spouse says, I cant go to book the tickets that you need.
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EXERCISE II
Environment
Capability
Values
Identity
Purpose
Behaviour
Feeling
Think of a particular incident when you wanted to stand up for yourself but could not
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EXERCISE III Create a list of people/situation with whom you
find difficulty in asserting yourself (may include your boss).
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PEOPLE My boss My colleagues People in authority People who report to me Superior people My parents
SITUATION Saying NO at work Refusing invitation to events I do not wish to attend Being firm with my/others misbehaving children Disciplining subordinates at work Standing up for myself with the boss
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WHY IT IS DIFFICULT? The time or place may not be right You may be afraid You may not want to offend that person You may not know how to word your feelings
appropriately You may lack confidence You may be denying your rights or feelings
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DEALING WITH ASSERTIVENESS Clarify your won feelings to yourself about an
issue which is bothering you Communicate clearly and calmly your perception
and feelings Dont attack, blame or hurt the other person Open the discussion without eliciting
defensiveness form the other person
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HOW TO DO IT Using- I statement Broken record
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THE PRINCIPLE OF WIN/WIN
NEED FIRST SOLUTION
LATER
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COMPROMISE SHOULD
ALWAYS BE THE LAST RESORT
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Ass out of U and ME
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UNCOVERING NEEDS Explain what needs are and why they matter Shift from solution to needs Ask Why? Ascertain their concerns Listen Do not confuse your own needs with those of
others Encourage them to be specific Establish as many needs as possible Find out where the differences dovetail Keep moving from positions to interests Brainstorm the options
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DO YOU KNOW YOUR RIGHTS? Aggressive people will attempt to claim their
rights with no consideration for the rights of others (rights without responsibility)
Passive people will deny their own rights, while making sure everyone elses wants, whether right or wrong, are considered first
Assertive person will claim their rights, and extend the same privilege to others
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COMMON ASSERTIVE RIGHTS Be treated with respect and consideration Hold my own views and have them heard Remain silent Have my feelings taken seriously Make my own decisions and cope with the consequences Make my own choices Make mistakes Change my mind Choose when and if to assert myself Refuse without feeling guilty Get what I pay for Ask for what I want Ask for information about myself privacy
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ALL RIGHTS INVLOVE
RESPONSIBILITIES. I BELIEVE IN
EXTENDING TO OTHERS ANY RIGHT I CLAIM AS MY OWN
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LISTENING
I Talk
I Talk
You Liste
n
You ListenThink
Day dreamOrganize thoughts
Switch offRelate to
experience
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ACTIVE LISTENING Acknowledging Summarizing Paraphrasing Asking questions Taking fewer notes Judges contents, skips over delivery errors Body language
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HANDLING POWER CONSTRUCTIVELY
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POWER BASE Reward and punishment Positional power Expertise/knowledge power Personal power/charisma Relationship power Collective power Cooperative power Legislative power Physical power
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EXERCISE IV Write the name of the people whom you consider
as powerful
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BULLYING BEHAVIOUR VICTIM BEHAVIOUR
PunishCriticizePick onHarassBulldozeCoerceEmbarrassHumiliateShout atAbuseAssaultSubdueBlackmail emotionally or otherwise
HelplessPoor meMartyrBlame everyone around themBlaming circumstances and upbringingInadequateDefeatedBitterConstantly complainingPassiveApatheticStuckAnxious or depressed
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HOW BULLIES AND VICTIMS CAN CHANGE THEIRBEHAVIOUR
BULLYING BEHAVIOUR VICTIM BEHAVIOUR
EmpathizeListenCommunicate assertivelyConsult with othersShare their expertiseReconnect with their conscienceShare decision makingGive constructive feedbackHelp build peoples self-confidence and morale
Stand up for themselvesListenTake responsibilityLearn to be assertiveLook at situations objectivelyIdentify their needsLook towards the future rather than wallowing in the pastTake actions to bring about solutions
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USE PEPSI Position state your correct position objectively. Empathize understand their point of view Problem state what problem the occurrence has
caused and who is affected Solutions present alternative possible solution Influence use charisma and reason to persuade
others
Build up your own powerbase
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THE POWER RELATIONSHIP QUADRANTI value myself
I dont value myself
I dont value you
I value you1 Win/lose
3 Lose/win2 lose/lose
4 Win/win
Aggressive, arrogant, rigid
Compliant, inadequate, passive
Hostile, low energy, apathetic, lacking
initiative
Assertive, confident, high-self
esteem
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DEALING WITH POWERFUL PEOPLE Build up your own power by approaching them
confidently and assertively Strengthen your own power base information,
rule, regulation Build empathy with other person Look for a win/win Present your case clearly and unemotionally Back up with facts and figures Declare any vested interest before the other
person finds out Be prepared to be flexible and to consider other
options or alternatives
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HANDLING EMOTIONS Focusing and leveling When you level your feeling you will find much
easier to focus on the problem.
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EXPRESSION OF EMOTIONS
Positive expression of emotions
Negative expression of emotions
Talking/writing it outWorking it off at the gym or other sportTaking a long walkMeditating/focusingPainting, music, writing, acting
Losing our temperPhysical and verbal abuseThrowing/kicking thingsActs of sabotage or revengeHarming self
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HANDLING YOUR OWN ANGER Acknowledge that you feel angry Accept the responsibility for your own anger Give yourself space Center yourself Use tension release techniques
Throw a pillow Strangle a towel Do a gorilla act Hit your palm with your fist Shout, yell or scream Tear a newspaper
Practice deep breathing or other relaxation techniques
Separate the person from the problem Concentrate on the current issue
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BOOKS FOR REFERENCE CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
By Hoda Lacey DONT SAY YES WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY
NO By H. Fensterheim and Jean Bear