COMT 4/510: Advanced Interpersonal

Communication

Perception and Family

communication is the method of family culture

How can we be “corpsed” in a role??

Reasons for divorce

Body Problems

Stone - impact of family stories.

Birthdate/Where were you born?

Parents and Grandparents names, What did they do for a living?

One memory about each

Where did you go to school? what did you like about school? Least?

What was your favorite activity as a child?

Describe the house/town you grew up in.

What made you afraid when you were a child?

First date?

Describe your best childhood friend.

What has changed most in your life?/ What would you change?

Carbaugh: we can notice what people make of the world as they tell stories.

We need to look at what the narrator is using the story to accomplish.

Stories are always cultural.

DeGenova & Rice suggest that parental socialization is one of the strongest influences in determining children's family formation behavior. Respond.

We need to develop a more dialectical form of family narrative.

•common (production + family)

•routine

•marginalized

Family narrative values the

DeGenova & Rice suggest that parental socialization is one of the strongest influences in determining children's family formation behavior. Respond.

93% of Americans say they are very comfortable talking with their children, but only 75% say they are effective.

52% of Americans are comfortable talking to their children about sex.

What happens when children become teenagers?

From our family we usually learn:

• how gender is played out

• how to deal with loss

• how ethnic differences are perceived

• how and if affection is shared

• how family boundaries are managed

• how to deal with conflict

Narrative and power: we must look at stories in terms of dominance and resistance.

Domestic violence: one family member imposes her/his will on another through verbal abuse or physical violence.

Domestic violence: one family member imposes her/his will on another through verbal abuse or physical violence.

What is a diversity zoo???

All the differences are in separate cages.

87% of Americans say they are very comfortable communicating with their spouse/significant other, but only 73% say they are effective.

77% of Americans say they are very comfortable communicating with their parents, but only 69% say they are effective.

78% of Americans say they are very comfortable communicating with their siblings, but only 65% say they are effective.

62% of Americans say they are very comfortable communicating with their in-laws, but only 52% say they are effective.

We need to have intimate moments in relationship

• physical

• intellectual

• emotional

• shared activities

Alternatives trust and self-disclosure in family relationships:

• lying: white lies, intentional deception

Why we lie

• save face

• avoid tension or conflict

• guide social interaction

• expand/reduce relationship

• gain power

• equivocating

• hinting

We can choose to develop a participatory attitude in families, which tends to be reciprocal:

• Being thoughtful

• Being careful

• Being full of good humor

Masters of family communication:

communicate acceptance amidst conflict.

They move from gridlock to dialogue or avoidance.

Well-functioning families manage communication patterns

• adapt

• create change

• share intimacy

• manage conflict

End of perception and family session