BC Parent Fall Issue

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Activity GuideFALL Activity GuideFALLConfessions of a bedtime story addict

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Kinshasa Kids (Belgium/France/DR Congo, 85 min.)Demonized and denounced by their families, 30,000 children live in the streets of Kinshasa, DR Congo. Amongst them is the indomitable José, who aspires to form a rap group and change his fortunes. Uncovering instances of poignancy and optimism amidst abject squalour, Marc-Henri Wa-jnberg’s fi lm builds to a rousing climax that pulses with youthful abandon.

I Am Not a Rock Star (Canada, 85 min.)At an age when most people are clueless and carefree, talented young Marika Bournaki was em-barking on a prestigious career as a concert pianist. But was this wunderkind truly born to perform? Director Bobbi Jo Hart follows Marika over eight years of adven-ture and self-discovery.

The Monkey King—Uproar in Heaven 3D (China, 90 min.)A grand spectacle, Su Da and Chen Zhihong’s 50th anniversary 3D res-toration of China’s most lauded ani-mated feature is truly a special event. Based on the the Ming Dynasty clas-sic Journey to the West, it chronicles the adventures of the magical Mon-key King, a mischievous character who creates havoc in the palace of Heaven by refusing to kowtow to the Celestial Jade Emperor... Bring the kids! Classifi cation: TBA.

Ernest et Célestine (France/Belgium/Luxembourg, 79 min.)Like-minded Ernest, a busking bear, and Célestine, a boho mouse, forge an interspecies friendship and instantly become a cause célèbre. Teaming with Benjamin Renner, A Town Called Panic’s Vincent Patar and Stéphane Aubier curb their an-archic tendencies and delicately craft “a cautionary fable where friendship tries to stand the test of bigotry and intolerance.”—Hollywood Reporter. To be classifi ed so all ages can attend!

Off-White Lies (Israel, 86 min.)A charming family comedy with po-litical bite, Maya Kenig’s Off-White Lies follows what happens when a sharp-witted teenage girl returns from the US to Israel to spend time with her likable rogue of a father, who’s been living “between apartments.” Since the second Lebanon war has just be-gun, dad fi gures they can fi nd shelter by posing as refugees. The household they fi nd provides some wonderful situational humour!

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bcparent.ca • fall 2012 3

Fall Issue 2012Volume 21, Number 6

Mail Address: Sasamat RPO 72086 Vancouver, BC V6R 4P2

email: [email protected]

inside...5 Three year old time

How my child brings me into the now

6 Say no to drugging your childThe dangers of calling problems mental

8 BC Public SchoolsBack to the Basics

11 The no-gift birthday partyHow does it work?

12 The art of noticing your lifeA poem a day

14 Confessions of a bedtime story addictBringing a calming conclusion to my day

17 Fall Activity Guide

Follow us on

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Publisher/Executive Editor: Forrest Phillips

Editor: Geoffrey Legh

Advertising Design & Layout: Julie Cochrane

Editorial Design & Layout: RetroMetroDesigns www3.telus.net/retrometro

Advertising Sales: [email protected]

Circulation: Gold Distribution

Contributors: Holly Browne, Lela Davidson, GerryFewster Ph.D, Tiffany Doer Guerzon, KerrieMcLoughlin, Samantha Reynolds, Bev YaworskiBC Parent is published 8 times per year. The Publisher reserves the right to omit advertisingwhich is judged to be in poor taste or which doesnot conform to the concept of this publication. Canadian Publications Mail Registration No.251836


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I decide that we can have sandwiches fordinner, and I sit down beside him on thegrass. He points out an airplane, fascinatedby its twin contrails stretching across thesky, and shows me a cloud that looks like alion. He wants to know why the birds fly ina triangle, and we laugh as crows and squir-rels gobble the goldfish crackers we throwonto the ground for them.

Not until the sun begins to sink and theair begins to cool do we start back. He slipshis small hand into mine, and we make ourway slowly home, on three-year-old time.

Tiffany Doerr Guerzon is a freelance writer and mother ofthree. She lives and writes near Seattle, Washington.

T he day starts with my son asking forthe empty toilet paper roll as I take itoff of the holder. I hand it to him, and

he climbs up on the closed lid of the toiletand peers through one end of the card-board tube.

“Arrgh,” he says. “Mommy, I a pirate!”He bends at the knees, leaning forward inhis T-shirt and Spiderman underwear whilesurveying the imaginary seas around us.

Three-year-olds have great imaginations,but they have no sense of time—at least notour time. Later that morning, my piratemakes us late for an appointment by takingforever to put on his own jacket, and refus-ing my help. I have learned from experiencethat trying to help a preschooler when theywant to do something on their own willmost certainly lead to a teary tantrum—andmore delay. So I take deep breaths whiletapping my foot.

That afternoon, a ten-minute walk to thepark turns into thirty as he stops to examinethe cracks in the sidewalk, an interestingrock and a flower. I just want to get there,but my son sees some ants and squats to geta closer look. Knowing that he won’t budge,I bend and watch the tiny creatures with him.

The ants march on, and so do we, even-tually getting to the park. After playing onthe equipment, my son runs around in the

grass and picks dandelions, handing me asticky bouquet.

I notice that other families are leavingand realize with a start that it’s five o’clock. Itell him that it’s time to go home. Ofcourse, he wants to stay. He plants his bot-tom on the ground, stubbornly refusing tomove. I sigh and look again at my watch,mentally reviewing the night’s schedule. Myolder children are at sports practice, and myhusband won’t be home for a while. But Ineed to get dinner started. My thoughts areinterrupted by my son, squealing in delightas he watches a squirrel racing up a tree.Soon he‘ll be off at his own activities, I thinkto myself. This is the last time I’ll have athree-year-old.

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Have you ever thought that your child might have a mentalhealth problem? According to the latest medical statistics,more than 800,000 Canadian children suffer from untreat-

ed mental health issues. It’s enough to alarm any parent alreadyconcerned about a child’s moodiness, impulsivity, inattention,aggression, disobedience, hyperactivity, apathy, or depression—allsymptoms of disorders listed in psychiatric diagnostic manuals.

Faced with this information, you might take another look atyour child, wondering if those bouts of unacceptable behaviour,bizarre thoughts, and offensive attitudes are due to a dysfunctionalbrain. Before rushing off to your family physician or local Mental

Health Clinic for a diagnosis, please consider the consequences. There’s no doubt that increasing numbers of kids are in trouble.

After more than twenty years as Director of a large treatment centrefor emotionally disturbed children and their families, I support thecontention that these troubles are increasingly severe. But I am notprepared to accept the idea that significant numbers suffer frombiochemical disturbances requiring medical intervention. Thesekids may be confused or angry but they are not sick, and treatingthem as “patients” is not the answer.

We need to realize that our troubled children live in a very trou-bled and unpredictable world. Given our environmental, economic,

and political woes, it’s hardly surprising that, by the age of eleven,over sixty percent of children are pessimistic about their futures.Families that once stood together through difficult times havebecome more transient arrangements. All too often, families aredissolved in acrimony when children most need close relationshipsoffering both love and security. Yet without these critical founda-tions, many kids are pushed to perform, to become successful in acompetitive, achievement-oriented world. If they fail to live up toexpectations, wilt under pressure, or rebel against authority, we turnto experts for explanations and solutions.

When we identify the problem as mental, and the solution asmedical, everybody is convenientlyoff the hook. Parents don’t have tofeel guilty, teachers don’t have to feelincompetent, and kids don’t have to be responsible for their feelings,thoughts, or behaviour. Then comesthe “treatment.” While counsellingand therapy are often mentioned,psy chotropic drugs are now themainstay of the mental health indus-try. In our society, taking drugs ispart of everyday life—and the mas-sive pharmaceutical industry is testi-mony to our dedication. We all knowthat the right pill at the right timecan fix almost any problem. So acouple of pills before school is hardlya big deal. We also know that, atsome point, a price will be paid—and not only at the drugstore. What -ever experts may say, we have no ideaof the long-term effect of psycho -tropic drugs on a child’s developingbrain. The price may be catastrophic.

Drugs may be the tip of the ice-berg. Perhaps more serious damageoccurs when a child becomes con-vinced that he or she is the victim of

an illness that can only be cured by others. Tagged and classified byvarious “disorders,” rather than being known for their unique traitsand potentials, children are drawn into a system that views them astreatable objects. For whatever reason, that system is always on thelookout for more clients. Over the past few decades, psychiatricdiagnostic manuals have listed a steadily increasing number of newdisorders and syndromes. These highly questionable classificationsencompass a growing proportion of the population—so if yourchild is not included now, you may only have to wait for the new2012 manual to come out. Could this be one of the real reasonswhy 800,000 children are considered to need mental health

Say “No” to drugging your kidsBy Gerry Fewster, Ph.D.

Tagged and classified by various “disorders,”rather than being knownfor their unique traitsand potentials, childrenare drawn into a systemthat views them astreatable objects.


services? As things stand, even infants are diagnosed with depres-sion and attachment disorders, and subjected to medical interven-tion. Where will it all end?

If so many Canadian kids are in trouble, is there another way toaddress the problem? Of course, but the alternative is not as easy asa quick diagnosis followed by a visit from the Pill Fairy. Problemkids still need what children have always needed—relationshipswith caring, loving, and responsible adults focused on the childrather than the behaviour. All children need to be seen and heardfor who they really are—to be recognized as unique human beingswith the innate potential to create their lives in their own way.Children who receive this message early in life do not lose theirconcentration, sneer in resentment, sink into despair, or kick backin anger. Whatever is happening around them, their strength isinside and they will eventually make their own decisions. Thesekids do not end up in prison or on the psych ward. Free and self-responsible, they are our only hope for a more compassionate,rational, and responsible world.

The good news is it’s never too late. Even the most troubled andseemingly unresponsive teenagers want to be seen and heard by acaring adult they can trust. With the possible exception of childand youth care workers, most professionals do not have the man-date, time, or inclination to create such relationships. Parents arestill the best bet. But if you still believe that medication is theanswer, first ask to see the evidence—with studies that are notsponsored by the pharmaceutical industry.

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to have a negative impact in schools andcommunities across the province.”

Ms. Lambert noted that the 150 teach-ing positions lost this year come on top ofover 3,500 full-time positions lost in thelast decade, especially teacher-librarians,school counsellors, learning assistants andresource teachers with specialized training.“That is an enormous amount of profes-sional expertise, personal caring, and indi-vidual attention lost to the students of BC,”Lambert said.

With the overall education budget fro -zen, the public education system needs an additional $100 million simply to keep upwith inflationary cost increases. Teachers areworried about overcrowded classrooms, in -adequate supplies, closing school libraries,overburdened counsellors and learning as -sistance teachers, and unsupported specialneeds students.

Class size Since September 2002, the size of BC pub-lic school classes has increased. At the sametime as the number of students in classesincreased, supports for students with specialneeds were reduced. The BC student-edu-

T he 2011/2012 school year was a timeof turmoil and uncertainty for manyparents, teachers and students. The

upcoming year may still prove confusing forparents as they search for information aboutwhat to expect. It can be challenging to sortout what is happening in BC public schoolstoday when there are annoucements aboutnew schools being built, others closing down,seismic earthquake upgrades, expensive newtechnology, expanded kindergarten, andstaff reductions. More people are makingtheir views known about public educationin BC in an attempt to sort through theconfusion.

Richmond teacher Jennifer Guzmansays: “I speak as a parent with a child in thesystem, and as a primary teacher of 10years. With the consistent underfunding ofpublic education, I am forced to watch stu-dents’ needs get neglected year after year.Students who present moderate behaviourand learning challenges who do not fall intosmall, specific categories are simply left tofend for themselves. Teachers are continual-ly faced with the tough question “whatmagic will I have to perform this year togive each child the support they deserve?”

This year in particular was filled with anxi-ety and stress for most teachers, which thentranslates to the students.”

After months of negotiations and jobactions in 2011/ 2012, the BC Teachers’Federation accepted an agreement in Junewith the government’s bargaining agent, theBC Public School Employers’ Association.

“I doubt you could find a single teacher inBC who is happy with this agreement be -cause it does absolutely nothing to im provethe situation in classrooms for students orteachers,” said Susan Lambert, president ofthe BC Teachers’ Federation. “It doesn’taddress class size and composition. Lookingahead to the 2012–13 school year, we cansee that these looming cuts are clearly going

By Bev Yaworski

“I am forced to

watch students’ needs get neglected

year after year.”


ernizing the public school system by callingon schools to be “more flexible, dynamicand adaptable.” The plan also focuses onthe basics of reading, writing and math.The Plan has five key elements: • Personalized learning for every student• Quality teaching and learning • Flexibility and choice • High standards• Learning empowered by technology

The Ministry notes that: “Since 2001,government has spent more than $2.1 bil-lion to complete 93 new and replacementschools, 150 additions, 27 renovations and22 site acquisitions. The Ministry is alsocurrently working to upgrade, replace andbuild a total of 60 schools across B.C. overthe next four years. The total cost of theseprojects is approximately $1.5 billion.

Curriculum Changes: Back to Basics?Not everyone is thrilled with the Ministry’sBC Education Plan. Most parents want tosee their children in a school that providesopportunities for all children to developtheir diverse talents. While the basic sub-jects are important, a well-rounded educa-

tion includes the arts, physical activity, edu-cational field trips and more than the 3 Rs.A concern is that with reduced fundingavailable for schools, a focus on basic educa-tion and technology will negatively takeaway from other program areas. The planhas been described as “a destination withouta road map or the money for gas to getthere.”

Teacher Lisa Manzini, who is one of thefew remaining elementary Physical Educa -tion specialists left in BC, says: “With largerclass sizes and less gym time, students areoften not given the opportunity to partici-pate in a quality daily physical educationprogram for 150 min. per week. The focuson literacy and numeracy skills has takenfocus off of basic fundamental movementskills.”

“My goal has been to ensure my studentscome to the gym and love to be there.Physical education is not just about tradi-tional sports (basketball, volleyball, etc) it’sabout creating a lifelong passion for phy -sical activity. Physical Education class isabout creating an environment that promotes

cator ratio is among the worst in Canada.Reviewing BC Ministry of Education re -ports and the BC teachers’ analysis of class-room size reveals that about 10,000 BCclasses are above the maximum allowed.The recommended class size is: Kindergar -ten: 19 children; Grades 1 to 3: 21 students;Grades 4 to 7: 28 students; and Grades 8 to12: maximum 30 students. (There is someflexibility in these numbers depending ontype of subject taught.) Schools such as thosein Vancouver, have few classes over 30, al -though they do have a few small classes.Any small class is likely to be combinedwith another small class to keep costs down.

Educators and parents both know thatsmaller classes create greater individual stu-dent attention and are better for successfullearning. Teachers can devote more time toeach student—answering questions andhelping solve small problems before theybecome big ones.

Ministry of Education: BC’s Education Plan The BC Ministry of Education recentlyadopted a new Education Plan for BC. Thedocument emphasizes redesigning and mod - Continued on page 10

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cooperation, acceptance, involvement, cre-ativity, FUN as well as teaching fundamen-tal movement skills (running, jumping,kicking, throwing, catching) flexibility, car-diovascular strength, and an understandingof a healthy and active lifestyle.”

“We have less money to refurbish ourequipment rooms,” adds Lisa. “We have lessmoney for basic needs, text books, photo-copying, art supplies, laminating or guests/performances coming into a school. Teach -ers often spend time at the end of their daysensuring their classrooms are clean.”

A Surrey teacher-librarian says over thepast 4 years, her time at one of her schoolshas been reduced from 4 days per week to 2 ½ days per week. Her school library isclosed for the rest of the week, which isquite typical through the Surrey school dis-trict. Teacher Rita Spearman commentingon the Ministry’s BC Education Plan says:“We need to have full time elementarylibrarians, who help students choose booksto read and help them (and their teachers)do research and write reports, be it usingbooks or computers. You cannot promotereading successfully, when most elementarylibraries are closed. Today, too many stu-dents are just going online and copying in formation without reading it or under -standing it.”

The Vancouver School Board has ex -plored creative ways to balance their budg-et. Board Chair and parent Patti Bacchusemphasizes that provincial funding increas-

es have not kept pace with costs. Reducingthe school year by 5 days and turning downthe heat in schools has been saving Van -couver money. You might see peeling painton classroom walls, some outdated equip-ment, older textbooks and closed libraries.You will still see multicultural liaison andsettlement workers supporting families whospeak different languages. Some schoolsmay have technology such as iPads—oftenwith help from parent fundraising. Subjectssuch as the Arts and Physical Education arestill on the curriculum, but schools are notlikely to have a dedicated specialist teacherfor these areas. Some schools still offerMusic such as strings programs with 2 ses-sions per week, along with a band program,but with user fees. All of these programsthough are always under financial pressure.

Parents’ Response Passionate parents are advocating on behalfof the public education system. For exam-ple: the Vancouver District Parent AdvisoryCouncil, representing over 40,000 parents,sent a 2012 letter to the Minister of Edu -cation saying: “Our parents are not satisfiedwith yearly cuts to education services in ourschools. We recognize that government fun -ding has been increased over the years; nev-ertheless the increases do not keep pacewith the cost of living nor reflect the needsof schools, teachers and students. Familiesare being asked to make up differences andnow purchase playgrounds, books, classroomessentials and even paper for students.”

BC parent Scott Drake, with childrenaged 7 and 10 years of age attending publicschool, says: “Increased reliance on ParentAdvisory Councils to provide funding cre-ates a system of inequality where thoseschools in neighbourhoods with moremoney are better able to deal with the cutsbecause there is more disposable income onthe part of these parents to supplement thediversion of provincial funding away fromareas deemed non-essential. Not only doesthis set up a distinction between schools,but it is a means of double dipping into par-ents’ purses, once in their taxes and thenagain in the form of PAC fundraising.”

Vancouver School Board Chair and par-ent Patti Bacchus emphasizes: “At the sametime, we still have a very good, strong pub-lic school system when you compare itinternationally. It has become leaner, but it’snot all bad. There are many exciting suc-cessful activities still going on with studentsand teachers.”

To find out more about specific schoolfunding and programs in your area or howto get more involved in your child’s educa-tion, consult the following resources.

BC Confederation of Parent AdvisoryCouncils: http://www.bccpac.bc.ca/

BC’s Education Plan: http://www.bcedplan.ca/

BC Teachers’ Federation: http://bctf.ca/

Resources

“We haveless money

for basic needs, textbooks, laminating& photocopying.”

Continued from page 9


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hances are your kid will attend dozens of birthday partiesover the course of the next few years. At even $10 a pop fora gift, that can really add up. Now think of all the gifts that

come into your own home for birthdays and other holidays. Pictureat least half of that stuff eventually going into a landfill or to charity.Talk about a bunch of wasted money! So I’m proposing a radicalidea: the No-Gift Birthday Party. You’ll have a lot less clean-up, andthe other parents just might thank you. Try it just once and seewhat you think! Here are some ideas:• Instead of giving your child a birthday gift or even a party, con-

sider giving an experience. Ideas include: a trip to an indoor oroutdoor amusement park, the zoo or water park.

• For very young children, consider giving just one fun gift fromyou, and ask everyone else to gift money for a savings account. Iknow my babies were too young to care about gifts, but they sureare proud of the money they already have saved for their future.

• Ask guests to bring canned goods for a local food bank to theparty. After cake, depending on the ages of the kids, caravan tothe food bank so the kids and adults can help out for a couple ofhours.

• Cook up some fun at a place where kids can cook. Businesses likethis often offer birthday parties where kids can make their ownpizza or decorate their own little cake.

• Have a party at a cool place like a nature center and ask for dona-tions. Jaime Perreca, mom of 4, said, “More parents are saying ‘nogifts, please’ or are doing a donation thing. We went to a party

last month at a nature center and were asked to donate money.Most families put in $10–20. The nature center was SO happy tohave our donation.”

• Go to a shop where the kids can paint their own pottery creation,which is super fun. Then have cake and ice cream bars.

• Have a short and simple party at your house. All the kids can dec-orate their own mini cake or cupcake with all the fixins (coloredfrostings, sprinkles, candied toppings) after playing a variety ofparty games.

• Throw a party with an animal theme. Shari Fresorger, mom ofHunter, said, “We have done two no-gift parties because my sonhas a December birthday. [At the first] we did animal themedChristmas ornaments, and gifts were donated to the local animalshelter. The second party… I ended up with a large SUV packedwith supplies for the animal shelter. Lots of large bags of dog food,blankets, toys, and even checks to be donated in my son’s name.”

• Ask guests to bring an item from home or even a new book or toyfor charity. Your child will get a kick out of taking donations to alocal center that helps those in need.

• If you’re brave enough, give a slumber party a try. The kids canwatch a movie, have some pizza, popcorn, cake and ice cream. Ashaving-cream fight is always a hit during warmer months.If you do it right, nobody will be thinking about presents at all.

They’ll be too busy having fun!

Kerrie McLoughlin is the mom of 5 and author of “Make Money to Write About Your Kids.”Check out her adventures at TheKerrieShow.com.

By Kerrie McLoughlin


derness, how much your feet remind you ofyour father, the chalky white of the sky.

Being creative is rewarding but just asmeaningful to me is the journey of mind-fulness, and the enduring sweetness of slow-ing down and savouring your life. The wholepoint is to cherish your days, get hungry forthose illuminated moments that insist youwrite them down, or photograph them.

Being present is gorgeously uncompli-cated. You are having experiences every sec-ond. Your toddler is singing Old McDonaldat the top of his lungs, or your teenager isputting on eyeliner in your bathroom. Yourjob is just to lean in and pay attention.

Do it over breakfast, and in the car onthe way to soccer practice. In the line-up atthe bank. Sitting on the bus. Hosting a din-ner party. Having sex.

Breathe. Settle a little deeper into themoment. Look hard. What do you see? Ifthe grass is green, what does it remind youof? Does it look like the waxy skin of anapple, or the colour of your grandmother’seyes?

When you really see each moment, astruthfully as you can, meaning emerges.Your life is trying to teach you. Everymoment is a stockpile of insight. Poetry isyour language for hearing that wisdom. Be

When I had my son in September2010, everyone gave me thesame advice: “Savour this first

year; it’s so fleeting.” I heard them loud andclear but how to do it wasn’t so apparent. I tried staring at his little face but inevitablymy mind would wander to what to cook for dinner or how to woo that big San Fran cisco client (running my own businessmeant no maternity leave).

I’m a lousy meditator and a compulsivelist-maker, but what does—and always has—ground me to the very pinpoint of thepresent moment is writing. And so it wasthat I decided my New Year’s resolution for2011 would be to get present by writing apoem every day. Not so much to rack upreams of poems, but to see the world throughthe eyes of a poet. To slow down, savour,take delight in, and notice the very essenceof the world around me.

I could have chosen to keep a diary butthere is something wonderfully bracketedabout a poem. It’s like it has its own rhythmand it knows when to end. A diary entry felttoo open-ended, which is a little dauntingfor a daily project. I had written less than adozen poems in my life before I embarkedon this project. And I can unequivocally saythat the practice of writing a poem a day has

been transformative. The act of noticing thedetails of my days, just in case one might bethe seed of a poem, forces me to be mindful,even when the days are tedious and smelldistinctly of pureed yams and baby pee.

I write my poems at the very end of thenight. There is something about the im -posed deadline of imminent sleep that cutsthrough the deliberation of writing andforces me to commit. Plus, by the end of

the day, I am so saturated with all the“noticing”, the poem practically drops rightout. (My husband says it’s creepy but Ithink that’s a compliment.)

Even if you are defiantly opposed to theidea of writing poetry, I challenge you tospend one day trying to notice as manydetails as possible as your day unfolds. Theway your kitchen smells like toast, the wayyour neighbor washes his car with such ten-

The art of noticing your life

I’m a lousy meditator and a compulsive list-maker,but what does—and alwayshas—ground me to the very

pinpoint of the presentmoment is writing.

By Samantha Reynolds


hungry for details. Turn your senses looseon the world. It will slow down your lifejust enough so that food will taste better. Sowill kissing. You will grow gratitude in pot-holes of irritation. You will grow patience.You will grow giddy, and forgiving. You willfall back in love with your life.

Don’t let the monks fool you—beingpresent is not about being still.

Being present is about being euphoric. So ride the ruckus of life. Delight in the

wallop of color. Listen. You never knew thecity could harness the hymns of so manybirds.

Samantha Reynolds founded www.bentlily.com, a popularpoetry blog that was featured in O Magazine and sparked a move-ment of people around the world to slow down and savour theirlives. When not racking up reams of poetry, she runs EchoMemoirs, a high-end boutique publishing company that shefounded in 1999, specializing in writing and designing personalmemoirs and corporate histories for clients ranging from yoga-weargiant lululemon to 104-year-old grandmothers. She counts herblessings as a mom and wife to two of the loveliest men in theworld. She lives in Vancouver, BC.

Why I wrote so many poems

One dayyou will ask mewhy I wrote so many poems

and I will tell youabout how my breath slowedwhen I watched you play with

curtains and pens

how I often pressed my nose against your little back

not to smell youbut to warm my face

the way you nibbled on my shoulder bone

in different waysto mean different thingsand the rhapsody I feltwhen I realized I understood you.

I will look at you thenyour big handsa beard perhapsthe pools of private thoughts behind

your eyesand wonder why I wroteso few.

xo S.


T hey say the first step to healing anaddiction is admitting you have aproblem. Well, I don’t know if I have

a problem exactly. It’s just that I like to readbedtime stories to my kids. A lot. Maybe it’sa little unusual considering they are nowteen agers. And sure, it’s a bit difficult formy daughter and me to squeeze togetheronto her twin-size bed, her being a fullthree inches taller than me and all; but, Itell myself I can quit anytime I want. Thetruth is… I’m not so sure. And my childrenhave become my enablers.

It all started when my firstborn was about10 months old, and I decided that we need-ed to add a new and loving phase to ourrelationship by establishing a bedtime rou-tine. I looked on it as a way to let her knowit was time to slow down and prepare forsleep. I’d gather her up onto my husband’sand my queen-size bed, piling the pillowsaround us to create a comfy, little cocoonwhere we’d slowly savor a picture book to -gether. (Well, I’d savor, she was more inter-ested in chewing on the cover.)

As she got older, I pulled out all my oldfavorites—rereading classics like the “LittleHouse on the Prairie” series, “Nancy Drew,”and “Anne of Green Gables.” We becameimmersed in the imaginary. Then along came“Harry Potter,” and together we entered theworld of fantasy. I satisfied my dramaticbent by creating distinctive voices for eachcharacter. The boisterous, cockney accent ofHagrid, the cool, insolence of Draco Mal -foy, and the calm of Dumbledore.

I thought perhaps I’d finally overcomemy compulsion to read aloud every nightwhen my son’s developing taste in booksvaried so sharply from my own. My passionhas always been fiction, but he’s much more interested in reading about volcanoes,wolves, and medieval knights. Initially, I’dsigh when he’d pull out his choice of read-ing material for the night. “Don’t you wantme to read this?” I’d whine (who is the childhere?) holding up a “ Hardy Boys” mystery.“Not tonight, mom.” He’d reply, happilyclimbing onto his bed and plumping thepillows in anticipation.

But I soon found myself just as fascinat-ed as he was with the interesting new factswe’d discover together. I mean, did youknow that pumice stones—used to smooth

Confessionsof aBedtime StoryAddict

By Holly Bowne


the rough spots on our feet and elbows—are actually volcanic rock?

Like any good junkie, I always finagle away to satisfy my habit by reading to themboth every night. Occasionally our story-times can run a bit late, especially if I getcaught up in a particularly good chapter.When my husband inevitably comes look-ing for me, he rolls his eyes to find me onceagain curled up with one or the other ofthem, dramatically relating the latest storyof choice. “I’m only reading five minutes toeach of them!” I call out to his retreatingbackside. As if that is sufficient enough ex -planation for the fact that I’m reading bed-time stories at 10:00 p.m. on a school night.

In my defense, I truly believe these spe-cial storytimes are as much for the kids asthey are for me. Just like me, they love andlook forward to this special bonding timewe share. After hectic days of homework,after-school sports and multiple parentingchallenges, I need this time reading withthem. In much the way my husband relaxesby flipping through the channels on the tel-evision in the evening, reading to my chil-dren relaxes me. It brings a calming con -clusion to the day. A time to cuddle withthem on their beds, with the warmth of anew book covering us like a cozy blanket.

I acknowledge, though don’t want toadmit, my days are numbered. With ouroldest in high school, and our youngest fin-ishing up the middle school years, too soonit will be over, and they’ll be onto newadventures of their own making. But fornow, I’ll happily feed my addiction, andtreasure up every single, sacred minute ofour bedtime storytimes together.

Holly Bowne’s work has appeared in regional, national andonline publications. Visit her at www.hollybowne.blogspot.comwhere she explores the more humorous aspects of balancing thewriting life with parenting her teenage children.

“And sure, it’s a bit difficult

for my daughter and me to

squeeze together onto her

twin-size bed, her being a full

three inches taller than me

and all; but, I tell myself I

can quit anytime I want.”

the VSO’s 2012/2013 Spectra Energy

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academicAcademic Advantage Tutoring604/439-1790www.schooliseasy.com

Achieve Learning Centres604/336-0616info@achievelearningcentres.cawww.achievelearningcentres.caAchieve Learning Centres’ focus is toprovide the highest quality academicand social skills support for our stu-dents by using a variety of provenmethodologies, such as the Orton-Gillingham approach. Every lesson iscustom designed to fit your child’sunique learning styles and needs. Emailor call for more information.

ADNC Neurofeedback Centre of BC604/730-9600www.neurofeedbackclinic.ca

Canada’s Best IndependentSchools—Our Kids Go To Schoolwww.ourkids.net

Googol Learning604/720-9377www.googolpower.com

Ho Math and Chess Learning Centre604/263-4321www.mathandchess.com

Language Tutors604/338-9598www.languagedesigns.ca

Mathletics1-877/467-6851www.mathletics.caMathletics is the global benchmark forhelping students to achieve outstand-ing results in math. Teachers and par-ents use Mathletics to create personallearning pathways for their students/children. With provincially alignedcurriculum and tons of resources,Mathletics is engaging for students andassists teachers/parents to monitor stu-dent progress.

Mimic Baby Sign Languagewww.mimicbaby.com

MPM Math604/266-6762www.mpmmath.com

PD Plus Tutoring Service604/421-6101www.pdplustutors.com

The Reading Foundation604/222-2254www.readingfoundation.com

Silbury Education and Resource Centre604/261-4696www.silbury.caFull and part time education for gifted and creative learners K–8.

Sylvan Learning800/EDUCATE www.educate.com

TOC Education Resources604/603-7017www.toceducationresources.comChinese language and culture programfor 3 years to adult.

The Whole Dyslexic Society604/921-1084www.dyslexiacanada.com

danceA-Star Performing & Fine Arts Studio604/266-3053, Vancouverwww.astarstudio.com

Al Mozaico Flamenco Dance Academy604/671-9182, Vancouverwww.mozaicoflamenco.com

Anna Wyman School of Dance Arts604/926-6535, West Vancouver

AUUC School of Dance604/254-3436danceschool@auucvancouver.cawww.auucvancouver.caExperience for yourself the joy andartistry of Ukrainian dance! Qualityfolk and ballet instruction for 3 to 15year olds. 85 years of arts programsreflecting a modern multicultural exper -ience. Call or email us for more info.

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The Arts Connection604/241-0141, Richmondwww.theartsconnection.ca

Arts Umbrella604/681-5268www.artsumbrella.com

The BrightStars Program604/662-8554, Vancouverwww.brightstars.caVancouver’s only professionalPerforming Arts program for youngchildren ages 1–13. Dance, sing andact to the melody of life. Classes runyear round.

Dance Co604/736-3394, [email protected] Co provides unparalleled dancetraining for all ages and levels.Providing technique and performancewhile developing confidence and cre-ativity. Programs start throughout theyear, for more information visit ourwebsite: danceco.com

Dance Expressions604/574-2277, Surreywww.dancexp.com

Douglas Ballet Academy604/420-0204, Vancouverwww.douglasballet.homestead.com

Academy of International Dance Arts604/327-9313www.academyofinternationaldancearts.com

Gabriela’s Movement Studio604/[email protected]

Goh Ballet Academy604/[email protected]; www.gohballet.comTraining institute of provincialchampions in the Junior, Intermediate& Senior levels as well as InternationalGold Medal Award Recipients. Wellbalanced curriculum, RAD examinations& extensive performance opportunities.

hz Ballet Classique604/299-9698, Burnabywww.balletclassique.com

Just for Kicks School of Dance604/596-4161, Surrey

North Shore Academy of Dance604/987-3814

Northwest Academy of Performing Arts604/306-7390www.NAPAdance.com

Pacific Dance Arts604/738-8575www.pacificdancearts.ca

Place des Arts Centre & Music Shool604/664-1636, Coquitlamwww.placedesarts.caPlace des Arts provides high qualityarts education for all ages and abilities.Over 40 music teachers offer privatelessons in a wide range of instruments.Ongoing lessons in music and dancerun Sep to Jun; session classes inmusic, dance, theatre, visual and liter-ary art run fall, winter and spring.www.placedesarts.ca

Port Moody School of Dance604/936-0966www.portmoodydance.com

Spotlight Dance Centre604/299-6111, Vancouver

Surrey Dance Centre604/599-9961www.surreydancecentre.com

The Landing Dance Centre604/325-8653www.thelandingdance.comThe Landing Dance Centre is a vibrantfacility focused on establishing and fos-tering a love for dance. It is the perfectplace to introduce young ones todance, take their training to the nextlevel, or just have fun!

Tri-City Dance Centre604/523-6868, Coquitlamwww.tricitydance.com

Unhinge Dance778/[email protected]

Vancouver Tap Dance Society604/253-0293www.vantapdance.bc.ca

Vancouver Academy of Dance604/231-8293www.vancouverdance.comVancouver Academy of Dance offerssummer dance camps in ballet,jazz/lyrical, tap, hip hop, acrobatics,ballroom and Chinese Dance at theirmain location in Richmond.

Westside Dance Centre Ltd604/736-1000www.westsidedance.caWe offer great classes in Tap, Jazz,Ballet and Hip hop for kids as youngas 3 years old, right up to adults.

specialtyBricks 4 Kidz778/822-5672www.bricks4kidz.com/vancouverBricks 4 Kidz® provides programs thatinspire kids to learn about architecture,engineering and design concepts whilehaving fun building with LEGO®

bricks. Ages 5–12.

Christianne’s Lyceum of Literature and Art604/733-1356www.chistiannehayward.comThe Lyceum encourages young peopleto see themselves as readers, writersand artists as they engage with abstractideas and reflect on their own place insociety. Programs include: bookclubs,writers’ workshops, literature and artclasses and holiday and summer camps.

The Dizzy Whisk – Cooking Classesfor Kids778/998-3530 www.dizzywhisk.com

Kimiko’s Japanese Kitchen604/727-5331www.kimikoskitchen.com

Vancouver Aquarium604/659-FISH www.visitvanaqua.orgFrom the Arctic to the Amazon,135,000 amazing creatures await youat the Vancouver Aquarium, includingBeluga whales, Sea otters, sharks anddolphins. Visit our brand new interac-tive ‘Canada’s Arctic’ gallery exploring

climate change in the north, andimmerse your senses in WesternCanada’s only 4-D Experience theatre.Plus, get a personal experience withyour favourite animals in our AnimalEncounters program.

Viva Voce Speech Arts Studio778/323-2448www.vivavocespeech.com Viva Voce’s highly personalized pro-gram builds your child’s confidence inspeaking and presenting through one-to-one Speech Arts Classes. Childrenand teens discover the joy of usingtheir voices and engaging an audience.Ages 5–18, West Vancouver.

musicAllegro Music School Inc.604/327-7765, Vancouver

Arbutus Music Academy604/736-8767www.arbutusmusicacademy.com

The Arts Connection604/241-0141, Richmondwww.theartsconnection.ca

BC Conservatory of Music604/299-2984 Burnabywww.bcmusic.ca

BC Registered Music Teachers Assn.604/733-5531

The BrightStars Program604/662-8554, Vancouverwww.brightstars.caLearning life long skills through thestudy of dance styles, music and move-ment. Classes range from 2 to 5 yrs.

Campos Music604/325-0480

Carillon Music604/591-1161www.carillonmusic.com

Clavimusic Piano Studios778/881-0329www.clavimusic.com

Colourstrings Music Studio604/730-5418, Vancouverwww.colourstringsvan.com

fall activity guide

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fall activity guide

Delta Community Music School604/946-1280, Delta

Dominanta Music School604/767-0949, Burnabywww.dominanta.ca Quality private lessons with experi-enced instructors for all levels and ages:piano, guitar, violin, flute, voice andmore! RCM preparation, preschoolmusic (group), special programsthroughout the year.

Douglas College Community Music School604/527-5469www.douglascollege.ca/cmsWe have been providing music trainingto New Westminster and surroundingcommunities since 1984. We offer pro-grams for babies, children, youths, andadults. Children’s programs includeSuzuki Strings and Piano, Kodaly / Orffand Kid’s Theory classes, Kindermusikclasses, private and group lessons onmost instruments, and Summer Campsfor all ages.

Jean Lyons School of Music604/734-4019www.jeanlyonsmusic.com

Jumpstart Music & Movement604/777-7179www.jumpstartmusicandmovement.com

Langley Community Music School604/534-2848www.langleymusic.comA non-profit organization committedto providing the highest quality ofmusic education to people of all ages.

Long & McQuade Music EducationCentresVancouver 604/682-5215North Vancouver 604/986-3118Langley 604/532-8806 Surrey 604/588-9423Port Coquitlam 604/464-1118www. long-mcquade.comLong & McQuade’s Lesson Centres –comfortable studios, qualified instruc-tors, low rates, no registration fees, andlessons for every age, level and style.Guitar, piano, bass, drums, brass,woodwinds, orchestral strings & voice.Visit long-mcquade.com for the LowerMainland location near you.

Music for Young Children800/828-4334www.myc.comMusic for Young Children provides acomprehensive music program thatintegrates keyboard, singing, ear train-ing, sight reading, creative movement,rhythm, music theory and music com-position for children age 3–11.

Music Teachers on the Go778/882-7603info@musicteachersonthego.comwww.musicteachersonthego.com

North Shore Music Academy604/925-3403, North Vancouver

Noteworthy Music604/270-3620, Richmond

O Music Studios604/321-1551www.omusicstudios.com

Oakridge Music Studio604/321-1551www.omusicstudios.com

Pacific Academy for Music604/944-0336, Port Coquitlamwww.musicinstructor.net

Pacific Piano Studio604/329-7290

Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School604/664-1636www.placedesarts.caPlace des Arts provides high qualityarts education for all ages and abilities.Over 40 music teachers offer privatelessons in a wide range of instruments.Ongoing lessons in music and dancerun Sep to Jun; session classes inmusic, dance, theatre, visual and liter-ary art run fall, winter and spring.Explore, express, create, be great! Placedes Arts offers high quality programs inmusic, visual arts, dance and drama forall ages, skill levels and interests.www.placedesarts.ca

Prussin Music604/736-3036www.prussinmusic.comPrussin Music has been serving familiessince 1985. We offer instrument sales,rentals, repairs & lessons. Our teachersare enthusiastic and active in Vancou -ver’s musical community. We have les-sons for all levels and all ages includingsummer camps and Suzuki classes.

Richmond CommunityMusic School604/272-5227, Richmondwww.richmondmusicschool.ca

School of Music and Dance604/951-3725, Surrey

Shadbolt Centre for the Arts604/291-6864, Burnaby

Staccato Music Studios604/421-3753www.staccatostudios.com

Steveston Music Centre604/271-3545, Steveston

Tom Lee Music604/685-8471, Vancouverwww.tomleemusic.ca

Vancouver Academy of Music604/734-2301www.vam.bc.ca Kodaly and Orff musicianship classes.Suzuki violin, viola, piano, cello, andflute. Piano group class (ages 4–9).Ballet (ages 31/2–18). RCM music his-

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tory and theory. Private instruc-tion in piano, classical guitar, bandand orchestral instruments.

Vancouver Symphony OrchestraSchool of Music604/915-9300www.vsoschoolofmusic.ca Vancouver’s exciting new VSOSchool of Music offers lessons onall instruments, classes to play andcreate with others, innovative earlychildhood programs (for 3months+), and casual adult classes.Flexible, affordable options andVSO ticket discounts encouragethe whole family.

The Violin ABC’s778/896-5729www.violin-abc.com

Western Conservatory of Music604/530-0317, White Rock

performing & visual artsThe Arts Connection604/241-0141, Richmondwww.theartsconnection.ca

Arts Umbrella604/681-5268www.artsumbrella.com

Artspace Children’s Arts Centrewww.artspaceforchildren.com

Bard on the Beachwww.bardonthebeach.org/about-bard-educationOur Young Shakespeareans work-shops deliver an interactive fun-filled theatrical adventure.Professional actors lead dynamicworkshops on the Bard stages dur-ing the summer.

Carousel Theatre for Young People604/669-3410www.carouseltheatre.ca

fall activity guide

Have BC Parent Newsmagazinedelivered directly to your inbox. Visit bcparent.ca to subscribe.

Visit www.bcparent.caRead our new blogs… catch up onpast issues… enter our contests andfind out about great family events

in the Lower Mainland.

• Innovative Early Childhood classes, for ages 3 months – 6 years• One-to-one and group instruction with members of the acclaimed Vancouver Symphony• Specially-designed, engaging classes for children, including Suzuki Strings• Exclusive classes with VSO guest artists and discounts to VSO concerts• Unique classes for adults• Affordable, fl exible enrollment and payment plans• Convenient parking and state-of-the art facility

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Visit our state-of-the art facility in downtown Vancouver, next to the Orpheum Theatre

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StageCraft Theatre School604/267-SCTS (7287)[email protected] some ‘Glee’ in your life? Cometo StageCraft Theatre School and letyour talent shine!! Intensive yet funtraining in drama, singing and dancefor students ages 4–14, various locations.

Surrey Art Gallery604/501-5566

Vancouver Film School604/685-5808

Vancouver Youth Theatre604/877-0678www.vyt.ca

sportsAquaventures Swim Centre604/736-SWIMwww.aquaventuresswim.comAward-winning program in tropicalwarm water.

Atlantis Programs 604/874-6464, Vancouverwww.atlantisprograms.com

Cliffhanger604/874-2400, Vancouver604/526-2402, Coquitlamwww.cliffhangerclimbing.com

Club Aviva604/526-4464, Coquitlamwww.clubaviva.citysoup.ca

Dynamo Swim Club778/866-6604www.dynamoswimclub.net

The Edge Climbing Centre604/984-9080www.edgeclimbing.com

Elite Tennis Academywww.elitetennisacademy.ca604/273-7366 ext 227Would you like to improve your child’shand eye coordination, motor skills,and balance? We are one of the toptennis training facilities in all ofCanada. Our tennis programs are forall ages and levels.

Jump! Gymnastics604/568-9690www.jumpgymnastics.ca

Kids in Motion604/970-7945www.kids-inmotion.ca

Langley Gymnastics Foundation604/532-1022www.langleygymnastics.org

The Little Gym of Langley604/539-2543www.thelittlegym.com

Marina’s Swim School604/818-4650www.marinaswimschool.com Marina’s Swim School is offeringswim lessons for kids and adults ofall ages and abilities. We have theunique style and methods, semi-private teaching environment,tropical warm water.

Maynard’s Pony Meadows604/261-1295

Midnight Cheer Athletics604/263-6436 Vancouverwww.midnightcheer.com

North Shore Equestrian Centre604/988-5131www.wecreateriders.com

Quantum Gymnastics Centre604/465-9293, Maple Ridgewww.quantumgym.com

RBL Basketball604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295www.RBLBasketball.caInstructional programs, leagues, holi-day campsfor boys and girls from Kindergarten toGrade 10.

Richmond Gymnastics Association604/278-3614www.richmond gymnastics.com

Sportball604/688-3157www.sportball.ca Sportball is a non-competitive sportsprogram for children 16 months to 12years. Children are introduced to eight

popular sports: soccer, hockey, football,basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennisand golf. Sportball offers weekly pro-grams, outdoor soccer, camps duringschool holidays, and birthday parties.Come try a free trial class! See ourwebsite for a location near you.

Twin Rivers Equestrian Centre604/574-5481www.twinriversequestrian.comTwin Rivers is a great place for campersto improve their riding skills and learnall about horses in an indoor ridingfacility. We invite campers of all differ-ent levels of ability. For further detailsand registration forms see our website.

UBC Gymnastics604/822-0207

Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics604/737-7693www.phoenixgymnastics.com

White Rock Gymnastics604/542-0386www.whiterockgymnastics.com

fall activity guide

~ marketplace ~

CircusWest604/252-3679www.circuswest.com

E.J.S. School of Fine Arts604/596-4883

Gateway Theatre604/247-4975www.gatewaytheatre.com

In-Studio Art Classes/ Marta Roberson Smyth604/254-0961www.martademaria.comMentoring children from six to sixteenwith personalised instruction in smallgroups.

JCC Performing Arts School604/257-5111, Vancouver

Kids Only Acting Classes778/378-9103www.kidsonlyacting.com

Performing & Fine Arts Studio604/266-3053, N. Vancouver

Place des Arts604/664-1636www.placedesarts.caWith small classes, quality instructionand a welcoming environment, Placedes Arts Art Centre and Music Schooloffers arts education in a variety of dis-ciplines for all ages and abilities.

Rainbow Art School Ltd.604/[email protected]

Shadbolt Centre for the Arts604/291-6864, Burnaby

StageCoach Theatre Arts Schools1-877-78-STAGE (78243)www.stagecoachschools.ca Sing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds.The world’s largest part-time theatreschool network, with over 700 loca-tions worldwide in 10 countries! Weoffer classes in Singing, Dancing andDrama every weekend alongside theschool term as well as week long sum-mer camps. Schools locations through-out the Lower Mainland; VancouverEastside/ Westside, Richmond, Surrey,Langley, Coquitlam, Victoria.

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Dr. Jong Hyun BanDDS, FRCD(C)

Certified Specialist inPediatric Dentistry

3770 West 10th AveVancouver, BC

Let your child’s dental visit be a positive experience.

Prevention and maintenance of good oral health is our focus.

www.thelittlesmiles.com (604) 222-2206

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[email protected]

www.preciousdesigns.ca

Stylish, comfortable bamboo cotton dresses made locally

The Sarah McLachlan School of Music (SoM) provides after-school music education, at no cost, to underserved and at risk children who

face challenging cultural, social and economic circumstances.

SoM is founded on a belief in the enriching power of music and the importance of creative community. We reach hundreds of young people every year (ages 7-17), providing them with a secure, nurturing and inspiring environment in which they can learn, practice, and connect with others. The Sarah McLachlanSchool of Music provides these students with the space and guidance they need to express themselves.

Music ignites their passion and energy, giving them confidence, motivation, perseverance, self-discipline, creative thinking and teamwork skills, all tool applicable to lifelong success.

To make a gift and impact the lives of young people, visit: www.sarahschoolofmusic.com or call: 604.709.4415

Director of Philanthropy: [email protected]

BC Parent Fall Issue

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