BC Parent Spring 2013 Issue

spring issue 2013www.bcparent.ca

RaisingGratefulChildren

Summer CAMPS

Date Night

2 bcparent.ca • spring 2013

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bcparent.ca • spring 2013 3

Spring Issue 2013Volume 22, Number 2

Mail Address: Sasamat RPO 72086 Vancouver, BC V6R 4P2

email: [email protected]

inside...4 Moon Teeth

The journey into womanhood

6 Raising Kind and Grateful ChildrenDoes your child feel entitled?

9 Date NightStoking the hearth of the home

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Contributors: Judy Arnall, Gayla Grace, MaliaJacobson, Janny J Johnson, Heather Lee Leap,Nicola Enright-Morin, Bev YaworksiBC Parent is published 8 times per year. The Publisher reserves the right to omit advertisingwhich is judged to be in poor taste or which doesnot conform to the concept of this publication. Canadian Publications Mail Registration No.251836

12 CircumcisionMaking the decision

14 Parting with the PacifierHow to break the habit

17 The Gift of Summer CampFive benefits of attending summer camp

18 Summer Camp Guide


My children are like sunflowers in August; I turn my head and they seem to havegrown taller. I find myself mock-shouting

at them, “Stop growing!” They grin and sidle up tome, their hands held like visors at their foreheads,estimating how soon they will be taller than I am. Atfourteen, my daughter Olivia has to bend down tokiss me on the nose. Some of her glee has mellowednow that she is accustomed to towering four inchesabove me. The thrill has been tempered by theincreasing responsibility and higher expectations weimpose on her and which she chooses for herself asshe gets older. That poised young woman who isfierce on the soccer field and aces all her classes isstill a little girl though, one who needs to play andshout, cry and be goofy.

When Olivia was nearly twelve, she came to meexclaiming that she had a loose tooth. “Is it supposedto be loose? Don’t wiggle it!” I cautioned. Her littlesisters looked like jack-o-lanterns, but she hadn’t losta tooth in ages. She insisted this was a baby tooth; itwasn’t way in the back with those late-arriving perma -nent molars. I still discouraged her from wiggling it.The next day it came out anyway, well within its rights.

The following week, my girl with the missingtooth had her first period. I’d just been chatting withanother mom about our growing girls, about beingthe mothers of middle-school girls, speculating whenthey would hit this milestone. I’d felt like it wasimminent, my friend thought it would be months yetfor her own daughter. Call it maternal instinct: some-how we were tuned into the signs. I was relieved that

moon teethBy Heather Lee Leap

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for pads to stash in her backpack for school, and thenwent to brush her teeth. She came to me a few min-utes later. Hand extended with something in herpalm, she said with a casual smile, “Oh, Mom, by theway, I lost another tooth.”

“What are you, five?” I exclaimed, eyebrows rais -ed. “Go put it in the tooth pillow.” I nodded towardthe hall closet.

She paused and gazed at me, her head tilted to oneside. In the warm silence between us there was roomfor the tooth fairy. She turned and pulled the tiny silkfairy pillow off the closet shelf, tucking the tooth inthe pocket. Still smiling she rolled her eyes at me andput the pillow in its place of honor on the windowsill.

Olivia isn’t five, of course, though she still seemsto grow overnight. One Saturday morning she glaredat us, tired and crabby. Tired myself, I wanted to barkat her to cut us some slack, but instead I paused. I looked at her looming over her sisters and stopped.“Go eat something,” I said. “I swear you were notthis tall yesterday. You’re growing too fast; it’s makingyou grumpy. Go eat!” She groaned and glared, thensmiled with just one corner of her mouth before pull -ing a package of English muffins out of the drawer.

Heather Lee Leap in a freelance writer and mother to three girls. She andher husband would like them to stay little forever, but they are not cooperating.

I managed to hide my own menarche baggage whenOlivia called, “Mom…?” in a wavering voice frombehind the closed bathroom door. I tucked my nega-tive memories away to address some other time andwelcomed my daughter into her new status. Sherecovered quickly from the initial mess and awkward-ness and was proud and bouncy, wide-eyed and smil-ing. In a tiny nod to a coming-of-age ceremony, wewent together to get her ears pierced the next day. Aweek later my newly minted young woman lostanother baby tooth.

How grateful I was for those teeth. Like parenthe-ses, they enclosed the experience, reminding me tohold my daughter close as she makes this journeyinto womanhood. I felt pulled by the tides, back andforth between her childhood and her nascent adult-hood. My daughter’s tiny milk teeth seemed tangibleevidence of her emotional state. They became a talis-man for the hormonal waves we will ride throughouther adolescence and stand as a reminder to me thatthese are tug-of-war years during which she will slipback and forth, at one moment a little girl, at thenext, a young woman.

More than a year passed, and my girl/womanlearn ed to anticipate her periods and plan ahead. Oneevening she rummaged in the bathroom cupboard

Her babyteeth stand as areminder to me

that these are tug-of-war years

during which shewill slip back and

forth, at onemoment a little girl, at the next,

a young woman.

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Gratitude and EntitlementDr. Fry emphasizes that a good startingpoint when approaching this topic is to askyourself: “What do you want for your child?Is it happiness, success, freedom, power,kindness or other qualities?” Clarifying thesequalities with your child will help guidewhat you can do to encourage the develop-ment of gratefulness in your kids and nur-ture their ability to feel compassion andempathy for you and for others.

It’s important to get a clear definition ofthe concepts of gratitude and entitlement.According to Psychology Today, gratitude isan emotion expressing appreciation forwhat one has. It’s more than just saying thewords “thank you.” It’s about actually feel-ing thankful. In contrast, entitlement refersto a notion or belief that one (or oneself ) is“deserving” of some particular reward orbenefit without earning it.

Why is it important that children learnto feel grateful and kind? Research showsthat grateful kids experience greater happi-ness and life satisfaction. They are moreoptimistic, resilient and forgiving. They areless depressed and have fewer behaviourproblems. Entitled kids, in contrast, aremore demanding, whiny and have more lifeproblems.

Misguided Efforts“We know that parents have really been try-ing,” says Dr. Fry, “But some of the entitle-ment issues are coming from misguidedefforts, when parents thought they weremaking a good call. Most of the challengescome from parents really caring and think-ing and reading and feeling like they weredoing the right things.”

Some of the misguided efforts include:• Needs always met: Meeting kids needs

even before they know they have them.• Overdoing praise: that is, giving praise

out of proportion to the child’s effort orresults.

T welve-year old Doug was definitelynot thrilled or grateful when hereceived clothes for some of his

Christmas presents. Upset, he ran to hisroom, closed the door and pouted forhours—putting a damper on the family’sholiday festivities.

In an online parenting chatroom, a moth-er writes: “I’m concerned about my youngdaughter’s selfish attitude. She recently hada birthday, and as soon as she was finishedunwrapping her gifts, she started lookingaround for more!” Another parent says: “wesurprised our son with basketball ticketswhen he got home from school today, butall he could do was complain about the 30minute car ride to get there.”

And what parent hasn’t been badgeredby their child’s repetitive demands for anexpensive toy, the latest i-Phone or designerrunning shoes. Do these family situationssound familiar? Can you hear yourself say-ing: “my kids don’t appreciate what we dofor them. If they would just say thank youand mean it.” Well, you are not alone, as agroup of parents discovered at a Vancouverparenting program presented by Dr. CarlaFry, a child & youth psychologist. Speaking

on the topic of “How To Raise A Kind andGrateful Child In An Era of Entitlement,” Dr.Fry offered valuable insights into how tofoster gratitude in a family.

Dr. Fry is conducting research with par-ents into the topic of gratitude and entitle-ment for an upcoming book. Her researchshows that as parents and caregivers, we

may unknowingly be coaching and shapingour childrens’ behaviour and encouragingthem to be ungrateful or to feel entitled.There are also many outside influences thatcan cause a child’s ungratefulness, includingmovies, tv, peers, music, teachers and fami-ly. Fortunately, there are also practical tipsthat can be used to counter some of thesepsychological forces.

Raising Kind and Grateful Children

By Bev Yaworski

My daughter recently had abirthday, and as soon as shewas finished unwrapping her

gifts, she started lookingaround for more!”

On average, grateful kids are more optimistic, resilient and forgiving with fewerbehaviour problems—but can we deliberately foster this positive attitude?


• Natural consequences. Show kids what hap -pens when they leave their dirty clothes onthe floor and then don’t have clean clothesto wear; or show what happens when theydon’t finish their school homework.

• Gratitude journal: writing down what youand your children are grateful for gives

maximum force and impact in terms ofgetting positive results for fostering kind-ness and gratitude.“Each family is going to do this different-

ly,” emphasizes Dr. Fry, “And it really needsto be tweaked according to the anxiety levelof your child. Use a gentle touch.”

• Modeling: what parents might be doingor saying that kids then observe and imi-tate. Some examples—implying that whatthe family has is not good enough, thegrass is greener elsewhere, envying other’ssituations.

• Empathy: teaching your kids that theyshould be given first priority in communi-ty situations—for example, insisting theyhave the lead in a school play or pushingfor them to be on the first line of a hockeyteam.

• Teaching children social skills so that theywill be liked rather than teaching socialskills to care for others.

How To Foster Kindness and GratitudeDr. Fry and her associate psychologist Dr.Lisa Ferrari have developed some helpfulsuggestions for parents to use to promotegratefulness in kids and nurture a child’sability to feel compassion and empathy foryou and for others. These guidelines can beapplied in an age appropriate manner.• Resist the temptation to predict and pro-

vide for all of your child’s needs.• Give appropriate praise by praising a child’s

efforts and process rather than the person.• Say NO: make giving something for noth-

ing a rarity not a norm, but say NO in acaring way, not with anger.

• Educate about the worth of things. Forexample, take your kids to a store to showthem the value of things and help themunderstand how much work you or theywould have to do to earn the item.

Dr. Carla Frywww.drcarlafry.com

Roots of Empathy by Mary Gordonwww.rootsofempathy.org

Thnx4 is a sharable online gratitudejournal — www.thnx4.org

BC Psychological Association www.psychologists.bc.ca

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By Judy Arnall

In the movie, Date Night, the charactersplayed by Steve Carell and Tina Fey, arein a long term relationship that they try

to spice up by going out to dinner once aweek on a date night. The trouble is thattheir date night is, monotonously predict -able: they go to the same restaurant andorder the same food on the same night.They start to notice the sameness when theybecome a little too clichéd even for theirown taste by talking about the variation ofthe chicken quality instead of their feelings,week by week. One night, they do some-thing different—they dress up, pick a newrestaurant and go to dinner in the city for achange. What happens next is hilarious andthey end up with an incredible eveningtale—probably one that no couple wouldwish for—but the end result was that theyhad a renewed sense of each other as the peo-ple they loved—not just roles such as par-ents, children, siblings, etc, although thoseroles were strengthened as well.

No matter how long they have beentogether, couples need sparks, creativity andfun in their relationship. As the years pass,they need it even more. For centuries, or -ganized religion has discovered that peopleneed continuous affirmation of their faithin the form of weekly rituals such as churchattendance. Relationships need the samekind of tendering and care. Regular meet-ings are required in order to talk, have fun,and spend time together. We know thatfriendships survive on shared interests, yet,as soon as we partner up with our very best

friend, we tend to settle into domestic bore-dom and let the shared interests slide. Everyrelationship has peaks and valleys—momentswhere love is overwhelming and momentswhen you seriously wonder why you are stillwith him or her. Couples need to remindthemselves of the qualities that they saw ineach other at the beginning of the relation-ship, and what they still love about eachother. This is even more critical when mort-gages, pets, children, jobs, laundry, brokenap pliances, normal conflicts and elderly care -taking occur alongside the couple relation-ship. These are normal stresses, but they canbe overwhelming in a relationship withoutsome nurturing buffers such as date nightand time together.

Research shows that the first five years ofa relationship are the most difficult becauseof career building demands, money woes,and especially the parenting of babies andtoddlers. The lack of sleep, child tantrums,worry, and differing parenting styles, cantear down the closeness and caring of eventhe most loving of couples as we tend to takeour parenting frustrations out on each other,rather than the children. This can be toxicto relationships. We need frequent re min -ders to be kind and caring to each other, inthe good times and especially in the chal-lenging times. As kids get older and easierto parent, relationships naturally improve,but take a dip again in the teen years. Thiscoincides with menopause, career peaking,

No matter how long theyhave been together, couplesneed sparks, creativity andfun in their relationship. As the years pass, they need it even more.

DateNight Stoking the hearth

of the home

toddlers were going through separation anx-iety. Although we are both attachment par-ents, their crying seemed to bother memore than my partner. I would like to saythe decision was easy, but like many greyareas in life, sometimes I felt that I couldn’tleave the kids and so I discussed with myhusband some ways to stay at home and notleave them, and he was sensitive to myneeds. Other times, I realized his needs hadto come first and we absolutely neededsome time alone for the sake of our relation-ship or we might not make it throughanother week. Desperate, we would saygoodbye to the kids as gently as we could,and walk out the door. Like any relation-ship, we had to see whose needs were para-

travel, and mid-life crisis issues. We maystart to look around the buffet table, eventhough we are on a diet! The parenting ofteens can be challenging and adds to thestress. Couples need to put more work intotheir relationship at this stage, similar to thefirst five years. Research shows that after theteen stage, relationships improve and enrich.That’s a no-brainer, because parenting is somuch “done”.

We started our own date night when wehad three children under three and felt wewere losing the essence of “us” in the drearyday to day details of domestic life. We madea point of hiring a standing sitter to comeevery Tuesday evening. Some days we wereso tired, we blearily welcomed in our sitter,

grabbed our pillows and headed to the park -ed car in the driveway for a blissful, uninter-rupted nap. People would question the costof a standing sitter but we considered it afinancial investment. Research shows thatdivorce is the single most disastrous eventthat devastates couples’ finances and wealth,and in light of that, we felt that hiring aweekly sitter made sound financial sense.Not only did we fund her college education,the kids actually enjoyed the sitter coming,since we didn’t have any grandparents orrelatives to take over. She was fun, responsi-ble and became an extended family mem-ber. The kids loved the new video games shebrought each week.

It was hard when the young babies and

Date Night-Out IdeasLive theatres (high schools and smallertroupes have cheap or no cost nights)Concerts (check out university andcommunity bands)Parks and reserves offer boating rentalsGo out for a coffee or a beer at the local pubMovie in the parkPicnics everywhereDinner crawl—go to several restaurantsfor appetizer, salad, main and dessert.Pub hopping downtownEducational: visit the zoo, museum,library or science centreWine tasting eventsCouple massagePottery paintingClassesFriends’ house partyGo out for breakfast or meet for lunch“Lovers or couples” trade showComedy theatre, Pecha Kucha,MoMondaysBike ride, either cycle or motorcycleDrive-in or movie-in-the-parkPick up take-out and watch the planesland at the airportGo-carting or laser tagShakespeare or other plays “in the park”Fitness: gym date, bowling, rock climbing,yoga, roller skating, golf, hiking, or simply running

Lectures (check out libraries, universitiesand bookstores)Volunteer together such as canvassing,working at the food bank and placeswhere you can talk and have funWindow shopRide the city trains—bring a snack andhave a train picnic

Date Night-In IdeasSnuggle in bed with a movie and a pic-nic of wine, bread and cheeseDinner and movie at home with a themesuch as French night—have crepes andwatch “Le Chocolat”Board or card game nightDanceBake cookiesPlay video gamesRead together in the bathtub, with can-dles, salts and wineGrab a pillow and blanket and sleep inthe car with the baby monitor onPick up books from the library and havea read-in around the fireplaceSit around the fire-pit outside and makemarshmallows or hot dogsRelax in the hot tubBe a kid again and use the trampoline(or just lie on it and watch the stars),swing set, or swimming pool

Turn off all the lights and sit in the darkand watch the animal world outside Bring out photo albums or watch photosand videos on the big screen at home

Date Night — No-Sitter-Available IdeasTake car rides and walks (kids will eitherfall asleep or be entertained by the DVDplayer you bring).Go to places like Ikea, McDonalds, air-ports and children’s hospitals. Grab acoffee and a bench and utilize the playplaces to keep your kids entertainedwhere you can talk but keep an eye onthe children.Go to Chapters or other book stores andplunk the kids in the Kids section with anassortment of books. Grab the in-housecoffee and find a nearby seat.Set the alarm early and have coffee onthe porch and watch the sun come uptogether.Take the kids to the playground andhave a picnic for you two.If your kids are school-aged, book twotables at a restaurant at least 10 yardsapart. Sit your kids at one table, and youand your partner at another. Monitorthem from afar. Pretend you are the Auntand Uncle so you don’t worry about theirbehavior (works even better with teens).


Ideas for Date Nights


tant parent’s parking spot at the movie the-atre and then ordered the seniors rate movietickets to get in! Don’t tell the kids!

The “Date Night” RulesTogether, choose an evening of the week fordate night, but make it consistently thesame day of the week or it gets left by thewayside. If you have children, hire a stand-ing sitter to come each week at the sametime. Try to get a sitter who drives and paythe sitter well. If finances are a problem,join a babysitting co-op and trade tokens. Ifseparation anxiety is a problem, plan datenights at home when the children are asleep.Each partner takes a turn planning the date,executing, driving, and paying. The otherpartner is the guest. Then, the next week,switch roles. It’s more fun to keep plans asecret until you are both in the car or it’s thetime of the date. Surprise is part of the fun!The planner should hire the sitter and feedthe kids before you go out. Look your best,even for home dates. The only informationthe guest needs to know is what to wear andif they should eat before going out. Try toplan an evening without friends, so that in -timate subjects can be addressed if need be.Some subjects are difficult to bring up, butwith time and space, it’s better to broachthe subjects and give it air time, than tobury it. Couples who bury critical conversa-tions end up with nothing to talk about inthe later years and drift apart. Be tolerant andenjoy the evening as much as possible know-ing that your partner put a lot of effort intomaking it special for you, even if they didn’tquite nail it that week.

Have a look at the date night suggestionsin this article. For more ideas, visit our blog,Date Night YYC (http://datenightyyc.wordpress.com/about/) which is continually updat - ed. Even though the ideas are for Calgaryand area, they are easily transferable to anycity. If you have young children, check outthe blog entry on how to start a BabySitting Co-op.

Happy dating!

Judy Arnall is a conference speaker, family communicationstrainer, and bestselling author of “Discipline Without Distress:135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out,spanking, punishment or bribery.” She is co-founder ofAttachment Parenting Canada which offers webinars on variousparenting topics, www.attachmentparenting.ca and www.profes-sionalparenting.ca Her date night blog is at http://datenightyyc.wordpress.com/about/

mount at that moment, and meet them.That’s real life and the eighth principle ofattachment parenting. When we phonedten minutes later, the kids usually had set-tled in with the sitter, and most often, wehad a great evening, a heartfelt talk—andthe kids were okay. We felt that a strongparenting partnership was the greater goodfor all concerned in the long run. As it iswith many parenting decisions, the ques-tion of when and how to leave the childrenis decided taking into consideration what isbest for the family at the time.

We felt a critical aspect of parenting isgiving the kids a role model for respectfulrelationships and a blueprint for keepinglove, passion and companionship alive in longterm, monogamous relationships, whetherthat followed a traditional husband-wifemarriage or domestic partnership betweenconsenting, loving adults, whatever gender.We try to hash out conflicts in front of thekids as well as resolve and make up too. Wealso need to show them that parents arehumans too.

In addition to date night, we also haveprivate time on our own. We have Mom’snight out (mommy goes to the movies orbook club with her friends) and Dad’s dayout (dad goes out to play volleyball with hisfriends). People need to care for themselvesin order to care for others.

We also have kid date night (although Ican’t call it that anymore with the teensaround) where one of us or both will takeeach kid out one-on-one for some specialtime. They get to pick what we will do. Wemark off their birth date on the calendareach month and then everyone knows thatis the date to keep clear. For example, myson was born on September 4th so every4th of the month is his day. In the earlydays, with my partner working out of town,I would get a sitter to stay with the otherkids. That monthly ritual made an amazingdifference in our parent-child communica-tion and really cut down on sibling fighting.

Twenty four years later, we are still goingstrong. With five children, some of who areteens and adults, we no longer need sitters.Spontaneity is back. We can suggest a movieto each other, and be out the door in fiveminutes, just like we did BC (before chil-dren). We even put some friendly daringinto the mix—once we parked in the expec-

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During your lifetime as a responsible parent, you will makecountless choices on behalf of your children. Yet parents ofboys are faced with an extra decision to make: circumci-

sion. Like most decisions, this one is not to be taken lightly, butwith the advent of the Internet and so much information and mis-information readily available, it is getting harder for parents tochoose wisely.

So it is important to know the facts. Crucially, what exactly iscircumcision?

According to the Canadian Pediatric society (CPS), “Circumcisionof baby boys is a surgical procedure to remove the layer of skin(called the foreskin or the prepuce) that covers the head (glans) ofthe penis and part of the shaft. It is most often done during the firstfew days after birth.”

The CPS website also says, “Circumcision is a “non-therapeutic”procedure, which means it is not medically necessary. Parents whodecide to circumcise their newborns often do so for religious, socialor cultural reasons. To help make the decision about circumcision,parents should have information about risks and benefits. It is help-ful to speak with your baby’s doctor.”

Currently in Canada, about a third of all baby boys are circumcised

each year, although these numbers vary across the country. Becauseit is an elective procedure, it is not always covered financially bymedical plans. Current costs of new infant circumcision range inprice from $250–$450.

Doctor Neil Pollock, a leading Canadian expert in circumcisionhas performed over 35,000 circumcisions in the past twenty years.He says that when it comes to circumcision, it is vital that parentsstay informed, “They should look at the most up-to-date medicalinformation, that is free of bias. I would advise them to read themost recent policy statement from the American Academy ofPediatrics (AAP), which was released in September of 2012.”

Specifically, the AAP statement looks at the health benefits,including a lower risks urinary tract infections (UTI) in an infantsfirst year of life, as well as a lower risk of acquiring HIV, genital her-pes, human papilloma virus and syphilis. Circumcision also lowersthe risk of penile cancer over a lifetime and can reduce the risk ofcervical cancer in sexual partners. Although the AAP statementhighlights the benefits of circumcision, it stops short of recom-mending routine circumcisions and says the procedure should con-tinue to remain a choice.

The Canadian Society of Pediatrics (CPS) is currently in theprocess of revising their policy statement and this is due to bereleased sometime in the coming months.

Dr. Glen Ward, Chair of the CPS Public Education AdvisoryCommittee, and a pediatrician in Surrey, B.C, says that whenweighing up the choices for their sons, people should do what isright for their family “The main message is that the CPS very muchadvocates parental choice.”

He also says that if circumcision is something that parents dochose for their sons, then they should chose a doctor wisely. He rec-ommends finding someone with a lot of experience, which willreduce the chance of complications. Generally speaking, circumci-sion is very safe when done by a trained practioner, and its risks ofcomplications are low and very rare. However, like any medicalprocedure, there are risks involved and about one in every 500babies suffers minor complications, like bleeding or an infection.

In terms of the procedure itself, not all circumcisions are createdequal. There are a few different methods, so as a parent, it pays todo your homework. That way your child will have the least trau-matic experience possible.

While medical opinions regarding circumcision are based on sci-entific and meticulously gathered research, by contrast, familiesoften make the choice to circumcise their sons based on their own,very personal beliefs.

Claire Murray, a mother of two from Coquitlam, says that whenher son, now six-years-old, was born, she automatically got him cir-cumcised.

“For us and our family it wasn’t even a question of whether he

While medical opinions regardingcircumcision are based on scientificresearch, families often make the choiceto circumcise their sons based on theirown, very personal beliefs.

Circumcision By Nicola Enright-Morin

Making the decision


was going to be circumcised or not. His Dad was, his uncles were,all the men in the family are and I just wanted my son to be thesame.” Claire says that she is content with the decision that shemade on behalf of her son and would make the same choice again,as she feels circumcision is also an issue of hygiene and in her opin-ion, a circumcised penis is cleaner.

For many families, the new research citing the benefits of cir-cumcision is not a strong enough argument for them to get theirson circumcised. For when you crunch the numbers, apart from thelower risk of urinary tract infections, many of the benefits are relat-ed to sexual activity and for a lot parents that is a decision best leftto their son when he is ready. Many people also argue that it isunethical to make such a decision on behalf of a child and that todo so is a violation of human rights.

Maggie Coombes, a new Mom from Kitsilano, says that althoughshe and her husband spent a lot of time discussing the issue, she leftthe final decision to her husband and he was strongly opposed to theidea of circumcising their 7½ month-old son. “I felt that circumci-sion wasn’t medically necessary and it is also not a part of my hus-band’s culture. My husband was pretty adamant that we didn’t getLiam circumcised. And because it meant a lot to him, I respected hischoice and I’m happy with that. I also didn’t want to put our sonthrough any pain at the beginning of his life and I also felt it was hisbody and his choice and not really my decision to make.”

Ultimately, just with any choice that you make on behalf of yourchildren, circumcision is something you should consider with thebest interests of your child in mind.

Ballet BC premieres Giselle, a legendary ballet presentedwith a contemporary point-of-view by Resident Choreo -grapher José Navas at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre fromApril 25-27, 2013 for three evening performances at 8 pm.

Visit www.bcarent.ca to enter. Contest ends April 15th.

2 tickets to Ballet BC’s premiere of GiselleWIN


W hether they’re crystal clear, neon-bright,or covered in rhinestones, pacifiers arethe modern baby’s accessory of choice.

Thanks to studies showing that they reduce the inci-dence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS),most pediatricians have given pacifiers the greenlight. A study in Pediatrics found that a whopping 68percent of parents give them to their babies before sixweeks of age.

Babies aren’t the only ones who love them; parentsquickly become addicted to the pacifier’s soothingeffects on their offspring. Unfortunately, it often be -comes a habit that overstays its welcome.

Why Wean?While some children give up non-nutritive or com-fort sucking on their own, others cling to the habitwell into the preschool years. According to Lotus Su,D.D.S., of Pediatric Dental Associates, using a pacifictoo much or for too long can contribute to dentalproblems, including deformation the palate and shift-

ing of the teeth, as well as mouth breathing and drymouth, which may increase susceptibility to toothdecay.

Many doctors and dentists recommend ending thehabit before permanent front teeth begin to emerge,which can happen before kindergarten. “I recom-mend stopping pacifier use by age three,” says Dr. Su.“The earlier a pacifier habit is stopped, the less likelythat there will be any dental problems.”

Potential problems extend beyond the teeth. Paci -fier use is associated with otitis media, or middle earinfections. Minor health upsets like gastrointestinalinfections and oral thrush are also more commonlyseen in pacifier users.

Parents may be swayed by medical data and dentists’recommendations, but kids often need some coaxingto give up the long-held habit. Guilt-inducing lec-tures about dental problems or germs may be coun-terproductive, causing them to dig in their heels.Instead, help them become confidently pacifier-freewith these tactics.

Parting with the Pacifier:How to break the habit

Ready to help your childgive up a pacifier? Here aresome tips for navigating thetricky transition.

By Malia Jacobson


Literary Loss. Before embarking on a pacifier-purge,check out some children’s books on the topic. Afterlistening to stories like The Last Noo-Noo by Jill Mur -phy or Pacifiers Are Not Forever by Elizabeth Verdick,your child may be more receptive to the idea.Pacifier Bear. When three-year-old Violet was readyto give up her pacifier, mom Bec Langham took herto a popular build-your-own-stuffed-animal store.Violet deposited her last pacifier safely inside theteddy bear before it was sewn up. The bear nowserves as both a cuddly friend and a unique reminderof Violet’s younger days.Baby Charity. Your child may be willing to donateher pacifiers to a good cause. Gather up the pacifiers,and pay a visit to a friend with a young baby. Haveyour child “gift” the baby with the pacifier collection,and shower her with praise for her generosity.The Paci Fairy. Steal this idea from Supernanny JoFrost: have your child place his pacifiers in a largeenvelope to mail to the “pacifier fairy.” Put the enve-lope in the mailbox together before bed. Once he’sasleep, swap the envelope for a new toy. When hewakes up, excitedly take him to the mailbox to findhis new treasures.

Make the Cut. Snipping a small hole in a pacifier canhelp it lose its appeal quickly, encouraging a child togive it up on his own. Be sure to dispose of a brokenpacifier promptly, because it can harbor bacteria orbecome a choking hazard if a child continues to useit.Out of Sight, Out of Mind. Parents seeking the quick-est route to pacifier-freedom can simply throw themall away. Kelly Stallings opted for the cold-turkeyapproach with daughter Taylor. “The first night wasrough, but after that, she didn’t care,” she says. Justmake sure to get rid of each and every one, so yourchild isn’t tempted to relapse (and you’re not temptedto cave).

No matter how stubbornly your child clings to abeloved binky, eventually it will be a thing of thepast. Once your child is free of the pacifier habit,you’re free as well—from relentlessly searching forthem, washing them, and buying them. Enjoy yourwell-earned liberation. At least, until the next must-have item comes along.

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published sleep expert, health journalist,and mom. She blogs about sleep and family health at www.thewellrestedfamily.com.

Parents may beswayed by medical

data and dentists’recommendations,but kids often need

some coaxing togive up the long-

held habit.

This unlimited pass for a family offour (valued at $47) is valid at all

regular Festival screenings, includingthe Pajama Party and other publicevents (excluding Opening Night Screening

and Gala, and pre-registered workshops).

Visit bcparent.ca to enterContest ends April 5th

WINa V.I.P. Family Pass to the2013 R2R Film Festival


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The ability to learn languages is highest between birth and age 6. Our French-English preschool program maximizes a child’s natural curiosity and ability to learn a second language during this important window of opportunity.

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I treasure the stories my children tell after arriving home fromsummer camp. The week-long adventures include experiencessure to build character and bond relationships. Every camp has

a unique way of teaching kids their value while giving them oppor-tunities to experience all kinds of fun they would never find at home.

The spring months are the perfect time to begin exploring sum-mer camps. To find one that fits your child’s needs, seek out opinionsfrom friends and neighbors; ask teachers and church coun selorswhat camps they recommend. Whether day camp or overnightcamp, there’s sure to be one your child will love and gain valuableskills from while attending.

Camp counselor Jamie Newman, who has worked the past twosummers at a children’s camp for kids ages 5–16, expresses herenthusiasm for sending kids to camp. She says, “Camp encourageskids to try new things and teaches them confidence through newexperiences. They learn valuable life lessons when encouraged towork through their fears and try something even if it doesn’t feelcomfortable to them. Also, when kids are thrown together in acabin for a week, they’re forced to learn how to get along with oth-ers and often build lasting relationships that can continue whenthey return home.”

Our five kids have attended summer camps ranging from athleticcamps to church camps to choir and band camps. Each camp plays aunique role in building character qualities and creating life-longmemories through everyday activities and interactions with others.

If you need some encouragement to give your child the gift ofsummer camp, here are a few thoughts to consider:1) Camp encourages independence and allows children a chance to

make decisions on their own in a safe, caring environment. Kidsbenefit from new relationships with camp counselors who careabout them and want to help them with everyday struggles.

THE GIFT OF

Summer Camp

By Gayla Grace

2) Camp forces kids to unplug from technology and enjoy thebeauty and benefits of nature. Through outside activities, kidsfind new hobbies they can’t experience at home, without aca-demic pressure or expectations. Kids gain self-confidence throughtrying new things and discovering talents they didn’t know theyhad.

3) Camp teaches good sportsmanship by encouraging each child tobe fair and kind, win or lose. Team activities teach kids how tocooperate with another and the value of getting along with oth-ers through working together and supporting one another.

4) Camp fosters new friendships with kids who come from varyingbackgrounds—helping kids gain an understanding of how oth-ers live outside their community. In a relaxed atmosphere, kidseasily make friends while they play, sing, work, eat, and bunktogether.

5) Camp creates life-long memories of new adventures in placesthey’ve never experienced before. Camp offers carefree dayswhere kids can learn how to thrive outside the structure of over-scheduled days.So what are you waiting for? Have you signed your child up for

camp yet? There’s week-long adventure and character-buildingexperiences waiting for your child this summer!

Gayla Grace is a freelance writer, wife and mom to five children who attend camp every summer.

Don’t miss your chance to win a family package of 4 tickets (valued at $280) to Goh Ballet’s 35th AnniversaryGala – Dance My Dreams on June 1st 2013 at the Centre inVancouver for Performing Arts. This mixed repertoire productionfeatures George Balanchine’s Walpurgisnacht, the world premiere ofSasha Evtimova’s Wonderland as well as August Bournonville’s Napoli Act III. It will be a dazzling night out at the ballet for one lucky family! Tickets are available through www.ticketstonight.ca or by calling1.877.840.0457. More info at www.gohballet.com.

Contest ends May 15th • Visit www.bcparent to enter.CONT

EST


art, music,drama & danceThe Arts Connection604/241-0141, Richmondwww.theartsconnection.ca

Arts Umbrella604/681-5268, Vancouverwww.artsumbrella.comGet inspired this summer! Throughhands-on visual, media and performingarts programs, children and youth ages3–19 are immersed in creative, discov-ery and fun. Registration available now!Classes also available year round. Checkthe website for details.

Bard on the Beach: YoungShakespeareans604/737-0625, Vancouverwww.bardonthebeach.orgOur Young Shakespeareans workshopsdeliver an interactive fun-filled theatri-cal adventure. Professional actors leaddynamic workshops on the Bard stagesall summer.

Camp Monarch, Music, Art & Dance604/723-8151, North Vancouverwww.campmonarch.ca

Cowboys and Angels604/568-6673www.cowboysandangels.ca

Dance Co604/736-3394Dance Co provides unparalleled dancetraining for all ages and levels.Providing technique and performancewhile developing confidence and cre-ativity. Programs start throughout the

year, for more information visit ourwebsite: danceco.com

Evergreen Cultural Centre604/927-6555, Coquitlamwww.evergreenculturalcentre.ca

Gateway Academy’s Summer Camp604/247-4975, Richmondwww.gatewaytheatre.com

Goh Ballet604/[email protected] us this summer to experienceunique and enriching ballet and cre-ative movement workshops designedspecifically for budding dancers ages4–7.Call or email to register.

Jean Lyons School of Music604/734-4019www.jeanlyonsmusic.com

Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School604/664-1636, Coquitlamwww.placedesarts.caHave fun and bring home your veryown masterpiece! Place des Arts pro-vides high quality arts education insmall classes for all ages and abilities.Register now for spring session classesin the visual and performing arts.

Prussin Music 604/736-3036www.prussinmusic.comWant to play in a Jazz Ensemble?Interested in Fiddle orSongwriting?How about Girls with Guitars orCampfire Songs? Does Music forChildren sound interesting? All atPrussin this summer.

StageCoach Theatre Arts877/78-STAGE (78243)www.stagecoachschools.caSing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds.The world’s largest part-time theatreschool network, with over 700 loca-tions worldwide in 10 countries! Weoffer classes in Singing, Dancing andDrama every weekend alongside theschool term as well as week long sum-mer camps. Schools throughout theLower Mainland; VancouverEastside/Westside, Richmond, Surrey,Langley, Coquitlam

Stagecraft Theatre Schools Ltd.604/267-7287www.stagecraft.caVancouver/North Shore/West VanWeek-long Summer Camps with BC’sBiggest Musical Theatre School forChildren! Camps for ages 6–14. Formore info please call 604/267-7287 orvisit www.stagecraft.ca

“Summer in the City” weekly Art Camps604/737-2636, Suzy Birsteinwww.suzybirstein.com

Summer Music at UBC604/822-3113www.summer.music.ubc.caThe UBC Summer Music Instituteprovides an intensive and fun musicalexperience for ages 10 to 18 in two levels of concert band and jazz bandworkshops, as well as two singingworkshops. Overnight or daycamp.

Vancouver Academy of Dance604/231-8293www.vancouverdance.com

Vancouver/Richmond. Quality dancetraining. Starting this July, 5 weeks ofsummer programs in Ballet, Jazz, Tap,Hip Hop, breakdancin’, Chinesedance, Ballroom and Acrobatics.

Vancouver Academy of Music604/734-2301www.vam.bc.caExperience a taste of what VAM has tooffer during our one-week summercamps, Soundfest, July 9 – August 3.Contact us for details and registration.

Vancouver Tap Dance Society604/253-0293, Vancouver

Westside Dance Centre604/736-1000www.westsidedance.ca Visit our website for details onsummer camps.

general activitiesAlexandra Neighbourhood House604/535-0015Programs for children and familiesthroughout Metro Vancouver.Residential Summer Camps include a 5 day camp for Families with limitedresources, as well as a weekend FamilyCamp for families with teens/preteenswith developmental challenges.

False Creek C.C. Daycamps604/257-8195, Vancouverwww.falsecreekcc.caOffers canoe/kayak camps, recreationalcamps and leadership camps for ages3–14.

summercamp guide


summer camp guide

In Wonderland Summer Camp604/872-4665www.inwonderland.ca Our camps offer a creative fun andartistic experience for your child. Visitour website for details

Langara Family YMCA 604/324-9622www.langarafamilyymca.orgAges 3–16; Hours 8 am–5 pmPreschool, Adventure, Leadership, andCounsellor in Training Camps.

Mount Pleasant NeighbourhoodHouse Licensed Out-of-School Careat Florence Nightingale School604/879-8208www.mpnh.org8 weeks of licensed summer care for 20children 5–10 years old

North Vancouver RecreationCommission604/987-PLAY (7529)www.northvanrec.com

SFU Summer Camps778/782-4965www.sfu.ca/camps

Sunset Community Centre604/718-6505, Vancouverwww.mysunset.net

Vancouver College: A Finnegan Summer604/261-4285www.vc.bc.ca

specialtyBC SPCA Among Animals Camp604/599-7297www.spca.bc.ca/youth/whats-happeningCamps are held in various locationsaround the province. Participants willlearn about animal care, welfare andenvironmental issues in a safe and funenvironment.

Bricks 4 Kidz778/822-5672www.bricks4kidz.com/vancouverWith our unique, motorized Lego®

models, Bricks 4 Kidz® Vancouver isoffering an exciting lineup of summercamps.From our popular SpaceAdventures Camps and Robotics toour new Bricks Olympics Camp, kidswill have a blast with hands-on, activi-ties and challenges.

Christianne’s Lyceum of Literature and Art604/733-1356The Lyceum encourages young peopleto see themselves as readers, writersand artists as they engage with abstractideas and reflect on their own place insociety. Programs include: bookclubs,writers’ workshops, literature and artclasses and holiday and summercamps.

All Students Need Summer LearningThe research is clear: kids who take a complete break from learning in the summer fall behind. They fall behind in math. They fall behind in reading. They lose school motivation.

Summer learning loss is preventable with Oxford Learning.We have programs for students of all ages and grades

Call today, or visit oxfordlearning.com

earning loss is preventable with Oxford Learning.e programs for studentses and grades

ay, or visitearning.com

With 7 locations in the Lower Mainland

Youth 25 & Under - $25 all shows

Tickets 604-739-0559

See the Young Shakespeareans video Get full registration details

Visit bardonthebeach.org/about-bard-education

Bard education programs supported by

Young ShakespeareansTwo-week workshops

for ages 8 – 18All the world’s a stage, and your child can be one of the players. Professional actors lead interactive, fun-filled theatrical adventures

on the Bard on the Beach stages all summer!

Spaces

Available!

Register Today


LIFE LIKE NO OTHER!

SUMMER CAMPS FOR ALL AGES!

www.qwanoes.ca1-888-997-9266

CALL FOR OUR FREE BROCHURE

Jump into the adventure and let friendship fill each day. Experience a world of discovery, all with an amazing staff. n amazing staff.

ENJOY THE BEST OF A CANADIAN WEST-COAST SUMMER!

Located on Vancouver Island, BC


FUN Campswww.funsociety.caFUN Camps is a hands-on environ-mental leadership camp that makescaring for the environment and explor-ing the natural areas in our cities FUNand interactive! Runs in Victoria andVancouver each week of summer, 9 am–4 pm.

Heritage Summer Daycamps604/592-6956Spend a summer day on the farm atHistoric Stewart Farm doing things theold-fashioned way! Tend the garden, goon a nature walk, play games, be a riverpirate, and more–there is a differenttheme every day!

K12 Plus Learning604/767-0949We offer special summer programs atour centre or your home.

Lynn Canyon Ecology Centre604/990-3755www.dnv.org/ecologyNorth Vancouver

Midnight Cheer Athletics604/263-6436 Vancouverwww.midnightcheer.com

Oxford LearningN. Vancouver 604/990-8850Coquitlam 604/936-1371Richmond 604/233-5566South Surrey 604/575-1494

Langley 604/534-4089www.oxfordlearning.com

St. George’s Summer Programs604/221-3601www.summeratstgeorges.caVancouver, Dunbar area

Science Camps – HT Science Made Fun778/737-5277www.ScienceMadeFunBC.netHigh Touch is offering our hands-onscience camps throughout the LowerMainland at a location near you. For acomplete listing of our location andcamps please visit our web site.

Science World at TELUS World of Science604/443-7443www.telusworldofscience.com/

The Reading Foundation604/222-2254www.readingfoundation.com Ourintroduction to reading camps aredesigned for pre-school andKindergarten students. This is a goodstart in beginning reading activities.Call for details.

UBC Botanical Garden – YoungExplorers Summer Day Camps604/822-3928www.bucbotanicalgarden.org/kids/campSend your child on an adventureexploring nature and biodiversity.

Campers will learn about the naturalworld through a variety of indoor andoutdoor activities and games. Two pro-grams to choose: Eco Explorer andGarden Explorer (Ages 7–11) For moreinfo and registration visit botanicalgarden.ubc.ca/camp

Dive into Summer Camp at theVancouver Aquarium604/659-3552www.vanaqua.orgKids explore the intriguing world ofmarine mammals, fabulous fish andother cool creatures through hands-onactivities, exploration, games and crafts.Plus check out the behind-the-scenesaction! Remember Members save 20%.

Westside Church Day CampsCosmic City & Beyond!604/263-2314, Kistilanowww.churchonthewestside.comVisit our website for all the details onour outer space themed camps packedwith games, crafts, science, singing andlocal trips.

YWCA Camp Fun Girl604/895-5844

Writing and Book Camp (Vancouver Public Library)604/331-4093www.vpl.vancouver.bc.ca/events/details/bookcamp

residential campsCamp Qwanoes250/246-3014www.qwanoes.caQwanoes is a youth-oriented high-adventure Christian camp seeking toencourage biblical discipleship throughrelationship-focused, fun-oriented, andChrist-centred programs. Wild actionand pure fun, real relationships, awe-some counselors, great music, a worldof discovery, all in one amazing setting.

Outward Bound1-888-OURWARD (688-9273) ext 209www.outwardbound.ca

Webbs Holiday Acres604/857-1712www.webbsholidayacres.ca

sportsThe Academy at Richmond Stables604/275-1830

Aquaventures Swim Centre604/736-SWIMwww.aquaventuresswim.comVancouver

Athletes in Action604/514-2079www.athletesinaction.com

summer camp guide

summer camp guide


Atlantis Programs604/874-6464www.atlantisprograms.comVancouver

Cartwheels604/275-0020 or 604/594-1555www.cartwheelsincorporated.comRichmond/Surrey

Cliffhanger Indoor Rock Climbing604/874-2400www.cliffhangerclimbing.com

ESC Bike Camps604/307-BIKE (2453), N. Vancouverwww.escbc.com

Exceleration Multisport Summer Camps504/718-6252www.excelerationtriclub.ca

Fitba—Soccer Player Development604/340-1263www.fitba.ca

Jump Gymnastics604/568-9690www.jumpgymnastics.ca

Langara Family YMCA604/324-9622www.langarafamilyymca.org Ages 6–12: Hours 8 am–5 pmBasketball, Soccer, Hockey, Tennis andmore! Girls and Boys only optionsoffered, as well as a UBC WrestlingCamp for ages 12–16. Financial assistance available.

RBL Basketball604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295www.RBLBasketball.caWeek long camps for boys and girls from kindergarten to Grade 10.Two to three hours each day.

The Little Gym604/539-2543www.thelittlegym.comCall for summer day camp details.

Oval Sport CampsRichmond Olympic Oval778/[email protected] Weoffer 49 different sports camps for ages6–16. Visit our website for details.

Pedalheads Bike Camp604/874-6464www.pedalheads.caVancouver

Royal Soccer800/427-0536www.royalsoccer.comRoyal Soccer is excited to offer our #1grassroots soccer camp in Canada.Open to boys & girls ages 5 to 13 atmultiple BC locations during July &August.

Sportball604/688-3157Sportball is a non-competitive sportsprogram for children 16 months to 12years. Children are introduced to eight

popular sports: soccer, hockey, football,basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennisand golf. Sportball offers weekly pro-grams, outdoor soccer, camps duringschool holidays, and birthday parties.Come try a free trial class! See ourwebsite for a location near you.

Summer Smash! Community Tennis Camps at Elm Park604/257-8100http://vancouver.ca/parks/cc/kerrisdale/website/Email: [email protected] this summer! Come learn tennisfrom our team of experienced andenthusiastic coaches at the beautifulElm Park courts, locatedin the heart ofKerrisdale. There is agroup for every age,from “Mini-Hitters”(5–7yrs), to “JuniorAces” (8–12yrs), all theway up to “Teen Aces”(13–18yrs). We’ve got agroup for you! Sign-upthrough the KerrisdaleCommunity Centre.

Twin Rivers Equestrian Centre604/574-5481www.twinriversequestrian.comTwin Rivers is a great place for campersto improve their riding skills and learnall about horses in an indoor ridingfacility. We invite campers of all differ-ent levels of ability. For further detailsand registration forms see our website.

UBC Sport Camps604/822-6121www.ubccamps.caVancouver

Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics604/737-7693www.phoenixgymnastics.com

FUN IN PRESENTING,

CONFIDENCE IN SPEAKING, SKILLS FOR LIFE

K-12 Private Speech Arts Classes

Call For Information 778-323-2448West Vancouver

www.vivavocespeech.com

July 2 to July 5 y (half day only)July 8 to July 12 y (half or full day)

July 15 to July 19 y (half or full day)

Fun sewing projects for beginners and advanced sewers

France Dorais – France’s Sewing Schoolwww.francessewingschool.comNow on Facebook � 604-433-1030

Summer Sewing Camps(AGES 7-17)

meet your masterpiece

mould, paint, splatter, gluePlace des Arts inspires the artist in you

register now for spring!www.placedesarts.ca 604.664.1636

Arts Centre & Music School Coquitlam

retsamruoyteem

eceipr

, splatter, paintmouldtist in yes the arts inspire des ArPlac

spring!for now egister rac.strasedecalp.www 604.664.1636

chool e & Music Strents CAr C

, gluerr,outist in y

spring!604.664.1636

oquitlam C

[email protected]

WWW.SPORTBALL.CA

Sportball Junior (16-24 months)

Parent & Child/Me & My Dad

(2-4years)

Multi-Sport (2-7 years)

Outdoor Soccer (2-7 years)

Half-Day Camp (3-7)

Birthday Parties (2-10 years)

Register online now for Spring

& Summer 2013 programs

Play with passion. Play for fun.

604.688.3157TBALL.CAANCOUVER@SPORVVA

TBALL.CA.SPORWWWW.

Sportball Junior (16-24 months)

ent & Child/Me & My Dad Par

(2-4years)

Multi-Sport (2-7 years)

Outdoor Soccer (2-7 years)

Half-Day Camp (3-7)

Birthday Parties (2-10 years)

Coming May 1st

12th Annual Family Resource GuideHave your business listed in BC’s

favourite resource for parents

LISTINGS INCLUDE:EDUCATION � CLASSES AND PROGRAMS � FAMILY

FUN � RETAIL � SUMMER CAMPS � BIRTHDAYSHOME � FAMILY HEALTH AND SUPPORT SERVICES

Don’t miss your opportunity to have your company included in this year’s guide.

For advertising and listing information

EMAIL: [email protected]

OR VISIT: www.bcparent.ca

On the stands May 1st, 2013 (Advertising deadline April 10th)

To view current issuevisit www.bcparent.ca

Kingdoms Dance in Magical

Explore Withinthe Possibilities

Workshop Themes

2013 Children’s Summer Dance Workshops

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