Thinking Differently About Difficult People

Dewoun M. Hayes, CAPElite Office Concepts,

Inc.1

Who?What?Why?How?

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Who are “difficult” people?

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Values/BeliefsPerceptionsBackground

What makes us different?DIVERSITY!!!

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Prefrontal Cortex

Deep Limbic System

Basal Ganglia

Cingulate

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Basal Ganglia - “speedometer”Functions

•Regulates feelings/emotions•Regulates motivation•Monitors body’s anxiety levels

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Basal Ganglia - “speedometer”Hyperactivity

•Panic attacks•“Negaholics”•Low motivation•Conflict avoidance•Unable to handle stress•Nervousness

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Cingulate - “gear shifter”Functions

•Ability to adapt to situations•Provides cognitive flexibility•Ability to see options•Ability to shift attention

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Cingulate - “gear shifter”Hyperactive Mode

•Uncooperative – the instant “NO”•Argumentative•Unable to adapt to change•The perfectionist•Grudge holders•Worry warts

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Deep Limbic System – “brain central”Functions

•Sets emotional tone•Modulates motivation•Promotes bonding•Stores emotional memories•Identifies important events

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Deep Limbic System -Hyperactive Mode

•Moody•Negative thinking•Decreased motivation•Social isolation•Not admitting fault

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Pre-Frontal Cortex – “Supervisor”Functions

• Attention span• Critical thinking• Impulse control• Judgment• Learn from experience• Problem solving• organization

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Pre-Frontal Cortex -Hyperactivity

• Disorganization• Procrastinators• Poor judgment calls• Short term memory issues• unable to learn from

mistakes

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Option #1:I QUIT!

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UNEMPLOYED! 16

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Option #2: Knock Some Sense Into Them

She will go

away soon!!

She will go away

soon!

Option #3 - Ignore18

Option #4:

Change YOUR

ATTITUDE!"Attitude is a little

thing that makes a big difference."

Sir Winston Churchill

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Productive

Less StressProfessionalism

=YOU! 20

Acknowledge

Accept

Approach 21

The Steps to Attitude

Adjustment

I cannot change anyone’s personality, but I can change MY attitude!

I cannot change anyone’s personality, but I can change MY attitude!

I cannot change anyone’s personality, but I can change MY attitude!

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Step #1: Acknowledge

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Step #2: Acceptance

Acceptance is when a person agrees to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition

I am ok with who you are……

Don’t take it

personal!

99.5% of the time it’s NOT about

YOU! 24

Step#3: The Approach

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Create an internal agenda!Identify a reason to interact with this individual

Determine a benefit of the interaction

Make it work to your advantage – Keep it short and simple!

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Devise a solution!

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I need to communicate

differently.

Adjust your communication

• Alter current communication method

•Use active listening skills

•Change level of communication

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1. Micromanager2. “Negaholic”3. Unorganized/Procrastinator4. Non-communicative Boss5. Office Gossip6. The Perfectionist

Putting our attitude adjustment to use

Acknowledge Accept Approach

= Changed Attitude

“A” CHECKLIST

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Harmonious, Diverse

Workplace31

Dewoun M. Hayes, CAPworklifecoach@excite.com

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