Choices in Relationships

Chapter Seventeen: Aging in Marriage and

Family Relationships

Age and Ageism

• The Concept of Age– A person’s age may be defined

chronologically, physiologically, psychologically, sociologically, and culturally.

Age and Ageism

• Ageism– Every society has some form of ageism—the

systematic persecution and degradation of people because they are old.

• Theories of Aging– Gerontology is the study of aging.

– Table 17.2 identifies several theories, the level (macro or micro) of the theory, the theorists typically associated with the theory, assumptions, and criticisms.

Age and Ageism

Age and Ageism

Caregiving for the Elderly—The “Sandwich Generation”

• The number of individuals in the sandwich generation will increase for the following reasons:

– Longevity– Chronic disease– Fewer siblings to help– Commitment to parental care– Lack of support for the caregiver

Issues Confronting the Elderly

• Income– For most individuals, the end of life is

characterized by reduced income.

• Housing– Most elderly Americans, about 94 percent,

live in a noninstitutionalized setting.

Issues Confronting the Elderly

• Physical Health– Good physical health is the single most

important determinant of an elderly person’s reported happiness.

• Mental Health– Elderly persons more often have a reduced

capacity for processing information quickly, for cognitive attention to a specific task, for retention, and for motivation to focus on a task.

Issues Confronting the Elderly

• Retirement– A blurred retirement means the individual

works part-time before completely retiring or takes a bridge job that provides a transition between a lifelong career and full retirement.

Issues Confronting the Elderly

• Sexuality– Levitra, Cialis, and Viagra are prescription

drugs that help a man create and maintain an erection.

Issues Confronting the Elderly

Issues Confronting the Elderly

• Successful Aging– Factors associated with successful aging

include:

• not smoking or quitting early

• developing a positive view of life and life’s crises

• avoiding alcohol and substance abuse

• maintaining healthy weight

• exercising daily

• continuing to educate oneself

• having a happy marriage

Relationships at Age 85 and Beyond

• Relationship with Spouse at Age 85 and Beyond– Marriages that survive into late life are characterized

by little conflict, considerable companionship, and mutual supportiveness.

• Relationship with Siblings at Age 85 and Beyond– Relationships with siblings are primarily emotional

(enjoying time together) rather than functional (the sibling provides money or services).

Relationships at Age 85 and Beyond

• Relationship with One’s Own Children at Age 85 and Beyond

– In regard to relationships of the elderly with their children, emotional and expressive rewards are high.

– Actual caregiving is rare.

Grandparenthood

• Perceptions of Grandparenting– Biological renewal– Biological continuity– Emotional self-fulfillment– Resource person

• Styles of Grandparenting– Whereas some grandparents are formal and

rigid, others are informal and playful, and authority lines are irrelevant.

Grandparenthood

• Effect of Divorce on Grandparent-Child Relationship– Divorced grandparents have less contact with

grandchildren and participate in fewer shared activities with them.

• Benefits to Grandchildren– Grandchildren report enormous benefits from

having a close relationship with grandparents, including development of a sense of family ideals, moral beliefs, and a work ethic.

The End of One’s Life

• Death of One’s Spouse– The death of one’s spouse is the most stressful life

event individuals experience.

• Involvement with New Partners at Age 80 and Beyond– Most women who live to age 80 have lost their

husbands.

– Patterns women use to adjust to this lopsided man-woman ratio include dating younger men, romance without marriage, and “share-a-man” relationships.

The End of One’s Life

• Preparing for One’s Own Death

– Thoughts the Last Year of Life • Most had thought about death and saw their life as

one that would soon end.

• Most did so without remorse or anxiety.

– Behaviors the Last Year of Life• Aware that they are going to die, most simplify

their life, disengage from social relationships, and leave final instructions.