“Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.” Ralph Waldo Emerson, poet 03POLISH YOUR SKILLS

Q I want to know about the etiquette of giving return gifts –

after a birthday, marriage or housewarming. Are there some dos anddon’ts to be followed? – Manner Wise Teen

A. Hi, it’s good that you are askingabout this often ignored topic. Returngifts, by definition, are gifts you give asa souvenir at the end of any party. Asalways, there are some guidelines onthis gesture too. Check these tips.

DOS Think before you give. Ask yourselfwould the recipient really enjoy this giftor are you just giving due to formality?Whatever be the reason, once decided,try to make the gift personal. Choose gifts of value. Recycling oldgifts to clear clutter in your home is notthe best thing to do.

Wrap the giftnicely just as youwould any othergift. Just becauseit happens to be areturn gift doesnot make it anyless special thanusual gifts.

DON’TS Don’t re-gift handmade items givento you by your other friends or rela-tives. It’s a mean thing to do. Don’t give something that is torn,chipped or discoloured even a bit – it’sclearly disrespectful. And never give used gifts even if youthink they are good and useful.

BY TEAM NIE

ExpertSPEAK

TABLE MANNERSForks can be intimidating if you don’t

know which one is meant for whatpurpose? Worry not, here’s yourguide to fork-land. Check it out

MIND YOUR MANNERS

A child’s classroomis the firstexperience of thereal world and it’s alearning ground forgood manners. Hereare 8 etiquetterules you mustdevelop to succeedin school and laterin life too

School years are atraining period forintegration in thesociety. Under-standing good be-

haviour and inculcatingthose manners and valueswill take students far inlife, even after school lifeis over. These are somerules you must know andfollow during yourschool life. It will teachyou etiquette and also buildyour character by makingyou a responsible individual.

Acknowledge othersIt’s basic. Saying a simple “Hi”, “Hello, how areyou,” makes people around you (classmates, teach-ers, school helpers) feel that you value them. Acknowledging others also begins conversationsand helps build and maintain relationships.

Introductions are importantHow you introduce yourself, along with your toneof voice, smile, eye-contact and handshake iscrucial in creating positive first impressions.Have the confidence to introduce yourself to other school mates, teachers and also childrenas well as teachers from other schools in inter-school competitions and events.

Adhere to classroom rulesFocus on studying (even if it’s hard to do) while inclass. You can do all the talking and chit-chat dur-ing lunch break and after school is over. Also, don’tsneak and eat when the lecture is on – it’s disrespectful to your teachers.

Deal with rejection in positive waysLife is sometimes easy,sometimes harsh. You gotto take both in yourstride. There will be timeswhen you won’t get thatcoveted trophy in a high-school debate or an invite to the head boy/girl’sbirthday party. Don’t let these rejections inter-fere with your dreams, and take it as a part oflife. Be gracious in rejections and smile throughit; these experiences will teach you a lot and makeyou a better person.

Develop patience andpolitenessPatience is a virtueand developing thisability can help youovercome anger, pre-vent conflicts and un-necessary confrontations.Remember, patience is always rewarded even ifit takes time. Politeness is a mark of good behaviour and it helps get you respect, so, makesure words like ‘please’, ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’are a part of your daily vocabulary.

Respect school property

Students are accountable for keeping theschool furniture in good condition. Don’t everscribble on desks or use chairs, tables andother school furniture carelessly. Also, borrowstationery from classmates if required, butnever take it out from his/her desk or bagthinking it’s a small thing. It doesn’t matter ifwhat you are taking is small or big. Gettingconsent from the owner to borrow their stuff isbasic manners and is ethical as well.

Being punctual is crucial

Punctuality is essential and it issomething that will be appreciat-

ed at all stages of your life – atevery age. Don’t delay yourhomework and projects and use

your time wisely to learn yourlessons as well as life skills.

Now, this doesn’t mean thatyou cannot have fun with friends in

school. Just keep it balanced.

Stay organised There is a saying that when your bookshelves and bag is organised, so areyour thoughts. Clutter in general cre-ates clutter and confusion in mind andleads to stress. So, keep your school bagclean and in good order. Ditto for your

study area. Beingorganised alsomeans scheduling

your study andleisure hours

which can keepyour study and

extra-curricularactivities’ perform-

ance in top gear.

Compiled by Pallavi Shankar

Fruit ForkFruit forks are widelyused in Europe than anyother country. This is ashort fork and could beused to either cut largerpieces of fruits or tospear smaller ones. Yes,a table fork can also dothis job, but in a formalset-up, the use of fruitfork for serving fruits isa good idea.

You are standing in apacked metro and astranger collides withyou. Do you wait for

them to apologise or are youthe first one to say “sorry”? Doyou apologise for making acompletely reasonable requestto a classmate or while askingfor another glass of water in arestaurant? If you can identi-fy yourself in these scenarios,there’s some news for you.

Too much ‘sorry’affects your confidenceAccording to research, the word‘sorry’ is probably the mostoverused word amongst theBrits. When you overuse theword ‘sorry’, it devalues when

you genuinelymean it andd o w n p l a y syour achieve-ments. If youseek forgive-ness for speak-ing up in ameeting orbrushing pastsomeone, it can

negatively impacthow you are per-ceived by others.

How can youavoid over-doing sorry?Follow these tips tomanage and over-

come the ‘sorry syndrome’:REPLACE SORRY WITH “AREYOU OK”?: If you feel you havehit someone accidentally whilewalking and you aren’t sure ifit was your mistake, ask theperson, “Are you ok?” insteadof saying sorry. This will pre-vent you from spending anytime obsessing over whetheryou did anything wrong. Secondly, showing concernshows positivity and a re-sponsible attitude. PAUSE BEFORE APOLOGISING:Whenever you feel the urge tosay sorry, take a brief pauseand go through the situationagain. Ask yourself if you areapologising due to the self-im-posed guilt or whether you areactually at fault. TNN

Table ForkThey are what we use ona daily basis for our maindishes like rice and rice-based dishes, pasta, meat,vegetables and so on.

Salad Fork Recognised by its often-reinforced centre tines,the four-pronged forkhas an extra-wide lefttine that can be used asa cutting edge for veg-etables like iceberg let-tuce, spinach and evenfruits like avocado.

THUMB RULEForks go to the left ofthe dinner plate in theorder of use, with onlyone exception – theoyster fork DID YOU KNOW?

Spain and Italy (in the16th century) were thefirst countries to adoptthe fork as a utensil tobe used at the table toeat with rather thanjust a serving utensil

Dinner Fork The longest fork in aset of tableware, thisone has four tines ofequal length and isused for the maincourse. The heavy lifterof the fork world, it hasno outstanding fea-tures, except its size.

Oyster ForkThis one is narrow with threetines and is used to pickshrimps or eat seafood like lobsters, prawns and the like.This is the only fork that is kepton the right side of the plate.

Ice-cream ForkDid the name take you bysurprise ? It actuallyexists. The fork has threeshort tines with a bowlshape in order to breakthe ice-cream and thenscoop it. Although a stan-dard dessert spoon wouldbe more easier to use, anice-cream fork makes forbetter presentation.

Do you have ‘Sorry’ syndrome?INTROSPECTION

THE BOTTOM LINEFrom stepping on some-one’s foot to hurtingsomeone’s feelings, atimely apology can saverelationships. Ultimately,it is important to knowwhere to draw the line.

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

Dessert Fork Slightly smaller than the salad fork,it’s also called a pastry fork or piefork. This fork may have three or fourtines, with a flattened edge; it allowsthe user to hold a plate in the lefthand and cut through pastry/cake withthe left edge. The dessert fork may beplaced above the dinner plate, or itmay be brought to the table whendessert is served.

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