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How can you persuade anyone to do any th ing ?
How can you be happy?
And what very strange thing did I do in 1997?
____________
Mind Twists
A written version of a talk by Ian Rowland
Anyone can get this document free of charge:www.ianrowland.com/MindTwists
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Mind Twists / Copyright Ian Rowland 2011 / www.ianrowland.com 1
Contents
Introduction 2How The Talk Was Originally Advertised 2About Me 3Thanks 3
Two Questions And A Story 4The Persuasion Business 5
All Of Us, All The Time 5How Can We Be Persuasive? 6
ELF and PEG 7
Motivational Theory In Two Minutes 8PEG Theory 9Persuasion Summary 9
Persuasive Impossibility 10Psychic Readings: Why? 11Psychic Readings: How? 12A Digression On Sceptics, Believers And Conflict 13
How Can We Be Happy? 14Short And Long 15Patterns In The Mind 16The Patterns You See 16The Patterns You Use 17Happy Endings 18Four Types Of Potential 18
A Story 19Story Part 1: Living The Sleep 19Story Part 2: What Are You Going To Do? 21Story Part 3: One Thing I Did 22Story Part 4: OtherThings Ive Done 23
The End: A Point Of View 24References 26
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Introduction
Matt Kendall runs a meet-up group called Interesting Talks - London. In
October 2011 he couldnt find any good speakers to give a talk, so he asked
me to step in.
I gave the talk at The Comedy Pub in London. For readers outside London, Ishould explain that the three most prestigious venues in the city are, in
ascending order, the O2 Arena, Wembley Arena, and The Comedy Pub.
This document is not meant to be a transcript of the talk I gave. It is a stand-
alone document that covers a lot of the same material. Some parts that were
in the talk are not in this document and vice versa.
I have also taken the opportunity to include some references and suggestions
for further reading that I couldnt include during the live event.
How The Talk Was Originally Advertised
This is how the talk was advertised on the Interesting Talks London
meet-up group website.
This talk is about cool and interesting aspects of your mind. Youll
learn how to be psychic and how to persuade anyone to do anything
you want (almost). In addition, Ian will perform one or two
inexplicable mind miracles, just for fun and to give you something totalk about the next day. Youll laugh, youll be amazed, youll learn
how your mind works (or sometimes doesnt) and youll also learn
about success, wealth and happiness.
Ian Rowland was hired to teach persuasion skills to FBI agents. The
Ministry of Defence asked him to teach recruiters how to spot terrorists
at job interviews. The British Olympics Team turned to him for help
getting maximum performance from their athletes. What else? Well, he
taught Derren Brown the art of cold reading (how to look psychic
when youre not) before Derren became famous, and he has trained the
sales teams of many top companies. Hes also a member of the InnerMagic Circle, and used to perform sketches with his friend Eddie
Izzard. In short, he is an entertainer, writer and trainer whose work has
taken him around the world. Hes also very funny, if that helps.
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About Me
I am a writer, entertainer and trainer. Im based nearLondon but I run off
and have adventures all over the world whenever possible. I also eat biscuits.
Thats all you need to know because this talk isnt about me. Its about thefact that life is interesting, people are interesting and the world is interesting.
Its also about the fact that the world is full of joyful things to do.
Thanks
Thanks to Matt for running the group and organising the talk.
Thanks to everyone who turned up for staying to the end and clapping when
they realised, joyfully, that I was finally going to stop talking.
Thanks to my friends John Morgan and James Tripp for giving earlier talksin the same series that were better than mine, and for telling Matt about me.
Thanks to the brilliant Kate Jones for proof-reading.
Thanks to the amazing Mark Hesketh-Jennings for photographs of the talk.
- Ian Rowland, London, 2011
Most people who look at this design assume that the grey text is a reflection
of the blue text. They never notice that the grey text actually says MNID.
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Two Questions And A Story
[ At the start of the talk, I performed a small miracle to prove that
anything is possible. I do this a lot. To save time, I havent provided adescription of the miracle here. Just trust me when I tell you it was
awesome, unique and very impressive. - IR ]
These events are called Interesting Talks. Im okay with thesecondpart. Iwill definitely be talking.
Its the first part that I have problems with. I think it creates highexpectations that could be hard to live up to. Maybe Matt [Interesting
Talks organiser] could set the bar a little lower. Perhaps he could call these
things Rambling on a bit in thepub, orOne way to pass the time if theresnothing much on TV. How about Looking a bit like Steve Martin.
Okay, afatSteve Martin.
But no, Matt calls them Interesting Talks. So I had to think, what can I
share with you that would be interesting? And I came up with two interesting
questions, and what I hope is an interesting story.
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The Persuasion Business
The first interesting question Id like to share with you is this: how does
persuasion work?
My first job was in creative media. I worked at a place that had a graphic
design studio, a sound studio and video production facilities. We couldcreate more or less anything.
The job offered plenty of variety. Companies came to us for many differentreasons, mostly to do with selling, marketing and training. They might want
a new sales brochure, an advertising jingle or a series of training videos. We
had clients from every market and industry you can think of, from finance to
pharmaceuticals, from bakeries to heavy engineering. We had small local
businesses, national chains and huge multinationals.
Although in one sense there was plenty of variety, in another sense every
project I handled was the same. It was always about how to get a message
from one mind to another, and how to do itpersuasively.
Thats the business I was in: the persuasion business.
I worked in this field for many years and over countless projects, lurching
clumsily and haphazardly from one stage in my career to the next. Sorry, I
mean, as I completed a series of shrewd and carefully planned strategic
career moves to achieve my personal and professional goals.
All Of Us, All The Time
As the years went by, I realised that I wasnt the only one in the persuasion
business. The fact is, we are allin the persuasion business, all the time,
whether we realise it or not. Perhaps you dont thinkthis applies to you?
Well, lets see.
Ever been on a first date? Ever been for an interview to get a job, or to get a
better job? Ever tried to get a teenager to tidy up his room, or to be back by
midnight? Evertried to get the delivery man to actually call when youre in,
as opposed to when youre out?
You can see what I mean.
We are allin the persuasion business, allthe time. And most of us would
like to be a bit more successful at it.
So, what actually works?
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How Can We Be Persuasive?
Persuasion is a big subject, and in the time I have this evening I cant go into
a huge amount of detail. Lets start with a few simple points.
We know that if you want to be persuasive, short and simple messages are
good. Devising the rightshort and simple message isnt easy. You have topay a lot of people a lot of money to end up with Coke adds life.
We also know its important for the message to be memorable. You have tofind ways to make it sticky. One good way is to use rhyme. In fact, I can use
rhyme to take over your minds. I can make a thought pass through your head
tomorrow, as soon as anyone mentions the word Friday:
Friday is my favourite time / To think about this stupid rhyme.
The thing is, you cant forget this even if you want to.
Friday is my favourite time / To think about this stupid rhyme.
Annoying, isnt it? And the more I say it, the more sticky and annoying it
becomes.
Friday is my favourite time / To think about this stupid rhyme.
By all means try really hard notto remember this annoying rhyme. See what
happens. I could mention several other persuasion basicsusing the right
vocabulary / the importance of a smile / the role of colours and emotive
imagery / using yes questions and so on.However, there are two factors that matter more than all the rest.
Ayers Rock, Australia
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ELF and PEG
The two words you need to remember are ELF and PEG. [ I know these are
acronyms, but in a live talk its easier to say words. IR ]
Lets look at them one at a time.
ELF stands for Emotions Lead Facts. In other words, emotions count far
more than reasoning and rational arguments.
People can be rational when they have to be, such as when compiling a tax
return or trying to figure out how to program the DVD. However, although
people can be rational when they have to be, they experience life
emotionally, and its the emotions that matter most.
You may think your views and opinions are based on sound reasoning. In
fact, most of us first decide what we wantto be true, and then we get very
selective. When we notice a bit of evidence that happens to support ouropinion, we collect it. When we notice a bit of evidence that contradicts our
opinion, we ignore it or assume its flawed and discredited.
This is also true of people who pride themselves on being very rational. They
may do it less obviously and less often, and maybe they try a little harder to
achieve some objectivity. But theyll still have their ELF quirks, just like
everyone else.
Emotions drive opinions, and a lot of the time reasons are just self-serving
wrapping paper.
If you want to be persuasive, you have to understand this and work with, or
appeal to, peoples emotions, rather than their rational and intellectual
faculties.
So thats ELF: Emotions Lead Facts.
The next word I want to share with you is PEG. It stands forPerceived
Emotional Gain. To see what its all about, we need to delve into the murky
and fascinating world of motivational theory.
This is a copyright document and all rights are reserved.
However, you can privately copy it and distribute it as
much as you like provided you keep it intact, give full
credit and attribution, and dont make money out of it or
use it to add commercial value to anything such as a
publication or website. - IR
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Motivational Theory In Two Minutes
Motivational theory is all about why we make the choices we do.
There are many models and theories of motivation. Some of you may have
heard ofMaslows hierarchy of needs, and if not you can look it up online.This is one good model of human motivation, but there are many others.
Heres a very simplified summary.
Inside your skull is a squidgy grey cauliflower weighing 2 or 3 pounds. This
is your brain. We have a handy label for the activity of the brain: we call it
your mind.
Yourmind doesnt just exist. It is purposeful, as if itsprogrammed to do
certain things and pursue certain goals.
First of all, your mind is trying to survive.Assuming it manages to survive, its trying to be safe and feel comfortable.
Some of this is taken care of consciously, some of it unconsciously.
Your mind also wants to reproduce. Not all the time, of course I mean not
right now, although you never know. Those two over there are looking pretty
darned friendly from where Im standing.[ This was a reference to a
rather amorous couple that I pretended to notice in the audience to
obtain a weak laugh. It didnt work and this delightfully humorous
remark was met with stony silence. Pearls before swine, or what?IR ]
Your mind also wants to belong. It wants to belong to a family, tribe orsociety. It wants to belong to groups based on shared interests, such as a
particular sports team, or shared activities, such as scuba-diving, playing
chess or eating biscuits. (Not necessarily all at the same time.)
Your mind also wants status, respect and recognition.
And on top of all that, when time allows, it wants a little bit of pleasure,
leisure and fun.
Your mind is constantly seeking all of these things that Ive mentioned.
What has this got to do with persuasion? Everything
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PEG Theory
Ive mentioned several things that your mind is trying to achieve all the time.
It never stops. Your mind regards any step towards one of these goals as a
Perceived Emotional Gain (or PEG for short).When you present your message to someonea message that you hope will
be persuasiveyou are making an offer.
If you do notoffer a perceived emotional gain, then you will not be
persuasive. (In fact, you cannotbe. It is impossible for a human being to
knowingly choose options that do not constitute a perceived emotional gain.)
If you dooffer a perceived emotional gain, itspossible and likely that you
willbe persuasive. Its not guaranteed, because people are complex andweird and persuasion is never an exact science. But at least you stand a
chance.For example, if you are selling a car, you have to first of all figure out what
the person you are dealing with will regard as a PEG. One customer may
want to feel its a very safe car, another just wants it to be fast and powerful .One wants to know it will be economical to run, another just wants
confirmation that its the same carthat his sporting hero drives.
Its a case of tuning in to the mind you are dealing with, and seeing which
PEG, which perceived emotional gain, it is looking for and will respond to.
Get it right, and you will usually succeed. Get it wrong, and you never will.
By the way, notice that I sayperceivedemotional gain. This is all thatmatters. The emotional gain might not be real. Many people buy things that
dont actually work. Women buy cosmetics that dont actually make them
look younger. Men buy aftershave that doesnt actually make themirresistible to women. However, so long as the product offers the customer a
PEG, he or she will often buy it.
Persuasion Summary
So, summing up if you want to be persuasive, remember that emotions
matter more than reasons, and that you have to offer a perceived emotional
gain. ELF and PEG will get you a long way in the persuasion business.
Of course, this is necessarily a very short and superficial discussion of what
is a vast and very interesting subject. See the notes at the end of this
document for further details.
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Persuasive Impossibility
After many years in the persuasion business, I developed an interest in a very
special kindof persuasion: persuasion in the realm of the impossible.
If I am trying to sell you a car, it is at leastpossible that the car is, in fact, a
pretty decent car and one that would suit your needs very well. But how doyou persuade someone about something that doesnt make sense, and isnt
even possible?
Im a member of the Inner Magic Circle. Ive performed as a magician and
mind-reader all over the world. Im not famous or anything, but Ive had a
lot of fun entertaining audiences large and small everywhere from Los
Angeles to Sydney, and Ive even been on TV a few times.
As a magician, I know how to persuade your mind to accept an impossibleconclusion, like the little demonstration I used at the start of this talk. This is
what magicians are good at. We can play with your mind and make it reach
the wrong conclusion.
However, magicians do what they do in a theatrical context. You see aperformance on a stage, and you know its not real-life. When you see an
actor die on stage, you know its just stage blood and not a real death.
What about deceptive impossibility outside of a theatrical context? How
does thatwork?
One very good and widespread example would be psychic readings.
Sunset over fr ozen lake, Ljubljana
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Psychic Readings: Why?
All of you have either been for a psychic reading or you know someone who
has. Some psychics read tarot cards or palms. Some offer astrological or
clairvoyant readings, while others say they can relay messages from thedead. (Reading tea leaves was very popular at one time. You dont see it
much these days due to the emergence of that great dark nemesis of psychic
powers: the teabag.)
The psychic industry is one of the oldest in the world. In one form or
another, it is found in every society, all over the world, throughout history.
Its also one of the mostprofitable industries. Lets put it this way: its more
profitable than oil. To make money from oil, you have to find it, drill it,
refine it, distribute it and sell it. To make money from readings you just
talk to people and they give you money.
So, how does persuasion work in this context?
Its clearly not based on an appeal to reason. Theres no scientific evidence
for psychic powers, as the sceptics never tire of telling us. Then again, noteverything is a scientific question. Theres no scientific evidence I ate two
biscuits last Tuesday, but that doesnt mean it wasnt a real phenomenon.
However, even setting aside the science issue, common sense tells you that a
few tarot cardssome pretty pictures printed on card stockcant have any
specific connection to you or events in your life.
So why do people pay for readings? You already know the answer. Itsbecause readings offer a PEG, a perceived emotional gain.
We all get frustrated sometimesby the fact that we cant see the future. Its
nice to think someone can seesomeof what the future holds. Its even nicer
when they say, as they always do, that the signs are generally positive.
Some people go to see psychics because theyre looking forhope, comfort
and reassurance of a kind they cant obtain any other way. Some people justgo for fun. Its apleasant, relaxing experience where you get told that youre
basically a good person and your futures going to be mostly okay. Many
people happen to think thats worth paying to hear.
Okay, so thats the why. Now lets look at the how.
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Psychic Readings: How?
How do psychic readings work?
Its a big subject and I cant cover it in detail, but lets take an example.
Lets say John [ someone called John happened to be in the front row -IR ]goes to see a psychic and says, She told me all sorts of things that she
couldnt possibly have known. For example, she knew that my brother
moved to New York last year, and I got a call from him yesterday!
It sounds impressive. However, if you could go back and be a fly on the wall
at that reading, you would see thats not quite what happened.
The psychic says something like, Im seeing a connection with overseas,
Im getting the letter A for some reason, can you understand thisconnection?
Lets consider this. Many countries contain the letter A, and two very bigones start with it: America and Australia. The psychic hasnt said whether
this connection is past, present or future. She hasnt said whether its
personal, social or professional. She hasnt said whether it pertains to realevents or just dreams. The connection could in fact be anything at all.
Heres the point: the psychicprovides thestatement, but the client provides
thesignificance. In this example, John might say, Well, my brother moved
to America last year, to New York, could that be it?
The psychic says, Yes, thats what Im sensing, a family connection with
New York. Im also seeing communicationmaybe quite recently?
What does communication mean? It could cover dozens of different
possibilities. Once again, the psychic has offered a statement, but the client
provides the significance.
Well, says John, as it happens he phoned yesterday.
The psychic says, Yes, thats what I was sensing, a recent call from him.
It can all feel very convincing. After the reading, John will talk about it in away that makes it sound far more impressive than it really was at the time.
This process can never fail. If John cant find any connection, of any kind,with any country containing the letterA, the psychic just says, Well, if
that doesnt mean anything to you now, it will do soon will you look out
for that? Its going to be quite a promising opportunity.
This process is called cold reading and this is just one quick example. There
is a lotmore to it! See the notes at the end of this document.
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A Digression On Sceptics, Believers And Conflict
Having mentioned psychics and readings, I want to digress for a moment.
There are many believers who are certain that psychic powers do exist.
There are many sceptics who are certain that psychic powers do notexist
or at least we dont have any credible evidence. Sceptics even have their own
magazines, societies and conferences. Ive been to several and performed at
a few. I even went to Italy to perform at the World Sceptics Congressyes,
there really is such a thing!
These arguments about whether psychic powers are real or not have been
going on for a long time. They never achieve anything and never will.
Heres the truth. I can give it to you in eleven words: psychic powers are as
real as you want them to be.
When were talking about psychic powers, were not talking about
something like that glass of watersomething that eitherdoes or doesntexist. Were talking about something that is a reality in terms of someones
emotional perception.
If you want or need psychic powers to be real, they are real for you. If you
dont, then they arent. Thats all there is to it.
The same goes for many other things in life: the brilliance of Manchester
United, the merits of drinking beer, the desirability of buying clothing from a
particular designer. All these things are as real as you want them to be.
Its the same with your relationship with a god of some description. If you
want or need him to be real, hes perfectly real to you. To the rest of us, not
so much.
It would be great if we could all just learn these words: its as real as youwant it to be.
Then we can all be friends, we can all love one another (which is more
important than anything else), get on with our lives, learn from one another,help one another and stop re-hashing the same old arguments.
When I look at the world around me, I honestly dont feel we need moreconflict. I think we need more people to relax, smile, shake hands and say,
Well, I guess its as real as you want it to be.Lets just leave it at that.
(By the way, if there is a god, I believe he has a plan for me. Its aplan that
involves eating a lot of biscuits.)
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How Can We Be Happy?
[ At this point in the talk, I performed my second miracle of the evening.
I started with a single, flat sheet of newspaper, made a few cuts, andended up with two solid, interlinked squares of paper without any joins
or gaps. This is impossible, but I did it anyway. - IR ]
Earlier on, I said that in very simple terms our minds are always seekingvarious kinds of perceived emotional gainthe need to belong, to feel safe,
respected and so on.
Putting it in very simple terms, were all trying to be happy. The obvious
question to ask is: how come we arent very good at it?
Why does happiness seem so hard to achieve? Why does the health servicespend a billion pounds a year on sedatives and anti-depressants? Why is
there no such thing as an out-of-work therapist? Why is it that any guru gets
swamped with people asking how to understand life and achieve happiness?
The answer lies in the difference between two different kinds of happiness,
and in the patterns that we run in our minds.
View fr om the top of a glacier, M il ford Sound
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Short And Long
There are two kinds of happy: short-term happy and long-term happy.
Short-term happy is what our bodies and minds can perceive very easily. If
Im sipping a fine Zinfandel, listening to Sinatra singing Cole Porter, while aclose friend of mine treats me to an all-over body massage, Im pretty sure
Im happy. If she adds a couple of biscuits, Im really happy.
Its also easy to plan for. If this is what Ive got planned for tomorrow
evening, then Im reasonably sure Ill be happy tomorrow evening.
Long-term happy is harder to perceive. Our senses arent wired up to work
on that timescale. Were you happy last year? The question doesnt even
seem to make sense. You could only say something like, In what way doyou mean? I guess I was happy in some ways but not in others.
As we cant readilyperceive long-term happy, its also harder toplan for.
Just to make things even more complicated, the world we live in is reallygood at short-term happy because lots of people have found ways to make
money out of it.
This is why we all have a million entertainment options these days: pubs,
clubs, cinemas, theatres, restaurants and so on. Weve all got a hundred TV
channels to ignore and we can carry every song we know in a small box
made of metal, silicon and magic. Thats the entire history of mankind right
there: from Eve with an apple core to Steve with an Apple Corp.
Our amazing high-tech world is all about infinite choice and instant
gratification, and theres plenty of money to be made catering to this
demand.
But its harder to make money out of long-term happy, so theres a lot lessemphasis on it. You never hear this sales pitch: Sign up to our entertainment
service and you can watch any movie you like, five years from now.
Doesnt really work, does it?
So thats one part of why many people arent very happy: they get distracted
by short-term happy, and neglect the long-term.
Theres another good reason, and it has to do with running bad patterns. Let
me explain.
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Patterns In The Mind
Your mind is constantly striving to be happy. To this end, it runs what some
people would call strategies but I just call them patterns.
Your mind acquires patterns from many sources. Some can be regarded asinnate. You get other patterns from your parents, authority figures, family,
peer group and from your own experienceboth indirect (friends and the
media) and direct.
Some patterns work very well. If you have a pattern that says eat a well-
balanced, nutritious diet, with the occasional indulgence but not too much,
and take regular exercise, youre probably going to be quite fit and healthy.
If you have a pattern that says avoid exercise, because its boring and doesntfeel nice, and eat junk food because its quick, easy and tasty, then you will
gradually diverge from the words fit and healthy, and will probably speedup your divergence from the word alive.
The Patterns You See
I find that seeing and understanding people in this way is very useful.
Its quite common to hear people say, Oh, so-and-so treated me really
badly.No, they didnt. The person they are complaining about did not get
up one morning and think, Oh, Ill go and treat someone badly today.
The person they are complaining about is in the same boat as the rest of us.They are trying to be happy, and running the best patterns they have
available. If they dont seem to have very good patterns, well, have some
sympathy for them. Who knowsmaybe you can help them to find better
ones?
When you see someone angrywhats going on? You are seeing a mind that
is trying to be happy, but it has tried all the patterns it knows and none of
them have worked so it resorts to making a noise.
An infant child cant feed itself, so it makes a loud noise and this niceperson
called a mother comes along and feeds it. When we grow up, we learn to dolots of things for ourselves. We learn some patterns for getting what we
want. If a mind runs all the patterns it knows, and nothing seems to work, it
resorts to a very early one: make a loud noise. Thats what anger is the
sound of someone running out of patterns to try.
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The Patterns You Use
I think its also useful to apply this way of looking at things to yourself.
There are times when its useful to stop and ask yourself, What patterns am
I running? Are they good ones? Where did I get them? Whom did I get themfrom? Do they work? Could I use better ones?
Another good question to ask is, The person I got this pattern from did
they give it to me because its in my interests, ortheirs?
If you reach for a cigarette, what pattern are you running? Where did you get
it from? Does it really work? Is it a good one?
If you repeatedly form relationships with someone who hurts and abuses
you, what pattern are you running? Where did you learn it? Does it work?
If you stick with a job that leaves you weary and frustrated, what pattern areyou running? Why? Whom did you get it from? Does it work?
We all run lots of different patterns every day. Some of them will be good
ones that work. See if you can improve them, make them work even better.
Some of them will be bad ones that dont work. Fix them or ditch them.
Of course, the fixing part is difficult. Changing behaviour is something
many of us find difficult. There are people who can help you with that, such
as my friend James Tripp, but its a separate subject . See the notes at the end
of this document for further details.
Mosque, gull and moon, Istanbul
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A Story
I said this talk was about two interesting questions and a story.
The first interesting question was how to be persuasive.
The second was how to be happy.
That just leaves the story. To tell the story, I have to talk a little bit aboutmyself. I know when I say that, all the women in the audience will
experience a moment of shock and disbelief No, really? A man who
wants to talk about himself? I dont believe it, that neverhappens! I expect
theyll be covering this on the news when we get home.
Story Part 1: Living The SleepSee if you can spot a pattern here.
When I was young, they said, There are some very important exams you
have to take when youre 16. If youpass them, thats okay. But if you dont,
youre afailure.
Being a failure didnt sound great, so I tried to pass these exams. This wasnt
easybecause Im not intellectually strong. Im not playing the false modesty
cardits just true. So I did a stupid amount of homework and burned lots ofuseless stuff into my head, and I passed the exams.
After Id passed them, I thought maybe I could feel good about myself. But
they said, No! There are some otherimportant exams you take when youre
18. If you pass them, thats okay. But if you dont, youre afailure.
Being a failure didnt sound great, so I spent another million hours learning
more amazingly useless stuff and I passed the exams.
I thought maybe I could feel good about myself. But they said, No! Theresthis thing called a degree, and its important that you get one. If you can get
a degree, thats okay. But if you dont, youre afailure.
This was back in the day when the taxpayer paid for it, so I went to SheffieldUniversity and I did a degree. It was a very embarrassing degree. I dont
really want to mention it, but in the interests of humility and full disclosure, Iwill tell you. It was a degree in English Literature and Philosophy.
You might not be aware of how utterly useless that is, so I will tell you.
When this talk is over, go to the bins outside a burger bar. Put your hand in
and pull out something at random. Whatever you have in your hand will be
worth more than an honours degree in English Literature and Philosophy.
So I got my degree, largely because it was the sort of degree where youd
have to work hard notto get it.
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I thought maybe I could feel good about myself. But they said, No! What
matters is whether you can get a job. If you can get a job, thats okay. But if
you cant, youre afailure.
So I got a job. Then they said, Ah, but what matters is whether you can get abetterjob. One that pays you more money so you can buy more stuff!
And I said, What stuff? Im okay, I dont need more stuff.
They said, You dont understand! Youve got to get a better job to earn
more money to buy more stuff! Dont argue! If you can get a better job,
thats okay. But if you cant, youre afailure.
So I got a better job.
I thought maybe I could feel good about myself. But they said, No! What
matters is, can you get into management? Because if you can, thats okay.
But if you cant, youre afailure.
So I got into management.
Then they said, Ah! But what matters is, can you get intosenior
management? Because if you can, thats okay. But if you cant, youre a
failure.
So I got into senior management. I was the UK Head of Sales & Marketing
for a big, multinational internet technologies company.
Then, in 1997, something happened. I realised Id been told I was living the
dream, but I was actually living the sleep.
So I WOKE UP.
Visiti ng the dragons of Komodo I sland
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Story Part 2: What Are You Going To Do?
I realised that I wasnt happy. I realised that I didnt want to go into the
Monday management meeting and the Wednesday planning meeting and the
Friday team meeting. I wanted to live my life for me instead of followingother peoples ideas about how I should spend my time.
So I just walked out. I said, Ive had enough. Its boring and I want more
than this to look back on. And the biscuits arent very good either.
People said, Is this a mid-life crisis?
I was 36. I said, No, its called waking up.
People said, What are you going to do?
I said, Ive no idea, but it has to be more interesting than this.
People said, How will you survive?
I looked around the office and I said, Do you call this surviving? This isnt
surviving. Its existing. Anyway, I dont want to survive. I want to live.
People said, Oh,its very brave leaving the big salary, the car, the perks.
I said, The brave people are the ones who can look ahead and see more of
the samethe commuting, the meetings, the spreadsheets, the wretched
company partiesand go forward into that tunnel. I cant do that. Itsjust
too scary to think thats all Ill have to look back on.
So I left my job and I went on an adventure called Seeing what happensnext. Its a great adventure, Im still on it and I love every minute of it.
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Story Part 3: One Thing I Did
One thing I did was write a book on cold reading. I wrote it for my own
interest, and just because I wanted to.
I offered it to publishers and in their infinite wisdom they said no, theres nomarket for it, theres no point, youre wasting your time, dont bother.
By rejecting me they did me a wonderful favour. I published the book myself
and learned how to sell it online. So far Ive sold over 25,000 copies to
customers in 60 countries, and it just keeps selling and selling.
I figured out how to run the business without spending a penny on marketing
or advertising of any kind, saving myself a fortune. Since I publish and sell
the book myself, all the money comes to me instead of other people. Yay!
Its an online business, almost fully automated, so theres virtually nothing
for me to do. This means that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I can just sitand watch money pour into my bank account. Its quite likely Ill never have
to work again.
Theres an interesting twist to this story. Remember I mentioned the
importance of taking action? Last year I prepared a small booklet. It
explained how I built my online business and showed the reader how to do
the same and make money online.
As an experiment, I gave this to about forty people around the world from
many varied backgrounds, just to see what would happen. All of them read it
and liked it.None of them put it into practice. They are all great people andthey all had their reasons, of coursebut it does make you think!
The ancient stone city of Petra
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Story Part 4: Other Things Ive Done
What else have I done apart from create a cash cow for life?
I love travelling, which is why Ive included a few photos in this document.
Ive seen the sunrise over Ayers Rock, and the incredible Kilauea Calderain Hawaii. Ive seen the stone city of Petra and visited the giant Komodo
dragons of Indonesia. Ive been to the top of the Petronas Towers, and seen
the depths of the amazing Postojna Caves in Slovenia.
Ive taken a hot-air balloon ride at dawn over the mountains of Cappadocia
in Turkey, one of the strangest landscapes on Earth. Ive stood on a glacier at
5000 feet in Milford Sound in New Zealand, looking out over scenery so
stunning the mind cant take it in. I arranged one trip so that I was on Easter
Island on Christmas Day (yes, I really did this).
Ive seen the Cathedral on Spilled Blood in St. Petersburg and the Kiyomitzutemple of Kyoto. Ive seen the awesome Hagia Sophia, and stood next to thefull-size Saturn V rocket at Kennedy Space Centre. Ive climbed the Leaning
Tower of Pisa, visited Alcatraz prison, flown a helicopter over Sydney
harbour and been to Vienna to see my favourite painting, Breughels Return
of The Hunters.
Ive met scores of fascinating people. Some of them are famous, and I could
drop a few namesbut I wont. Some of them arent famous, but they are
wonderful and incredible people all the same.
There has been a lot of love in my life, because the world is full of amazingand delightful women, all with this fascinating gift of being able to think in
extraordinary ways that we men just cant even begin to imagine.
Most of all, Ive had fun.
Ive lectured by invitation at both Oxford and Cambridge. Ive performed
just about everywhere, including places where they dont normally have
performers, such as the Times Literary Festival.
I was hired by the FBI to teach their agents. I was an advisor to the Ministry
of Defence and I am an advisor to the sports psychologists of the British
Olympics team.
Ive done all these things just by waking up.
If you went on a similar adventure, you wouldnt do the same things or go
down the same paths as me. You would do different things, wonderful
things. But I expect you would have just as much fun.
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The End: A Point Of View
To end, I dont want to offer advice. You havent asked me for advice and
its not my place to give it. Instead, I want to share a point of view.
No matter how well you look after yourself, there will come a day when
either your mind or your body will start to let you down. Thats when someoptions start to be taken away from you and they never come back. Thats
when you start to realise all the things you wanted to do but never did, and
now you never will.
So heres my point of view.
If there are things you want to do, do them.
If there are places you want to see, go and see them.
If there are people you want to meet, go and meet them.
If there are experiences you want to have, have them.
If there are things you want to try, try them. See what happens. Thealternative is that youll spend the rest of your life wondering What if?
Everything you try will either be a success or a learning experience, and
learning is great.
Do these things while you can, because life is very short indeed and soon it
will be too late.
Do these things because youre great, and you deserve to have a great life.
Understand that when you act to fulfil your potential, you will always feel
good, and if you do anything else then you never will.
Most of all, love yourself, love other people and love life.
I also suggest you live as if anything is possible. I dont know if thats
actually true, but I know it makes life one heck of a lot more fun.
Thank you. I hope its been interesting.
[ To end my talk, I said Id do one more thing to show that anything is
possible. I proceeded to eat, chew and swallow broken glass. In my
experience, this tends to make a talk quite memorable. - IR ]
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One Small AdvertisementYou Dont Even Have To Read
I teach something called Applied Cold Reading (ACR). It has nothingto do
with pretending to be psychic.
ACR gives you super skills to sell, persuade and build rapport. Its very
useful in any role that involves meeting and dealing with people.
Ive been teaching this for four years to men and women from all walks of
life. Anyone can learn it, use it and benefit from it. Theres some workinvolved, but its fun as well.
All I ask is that you check it out, read the benefits, see the zingy testimonialsand see if its right for you:
www.appliedcoldreading.com
It wont kill you to take a look, and it might even turn out to be a good move.
Thank you.
- Ian
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References
Interesting Talks
Seewww.interestingtalks.co.ukorwww.meetup.com/interesting-talks-london
Persuasion
Changing Minds by David Straker. The best book ever written on all
aspects of persuasion. See www.changingminds.org .
Irrationality by Stuart Sutherland. A classic book, fun to read.
Influence: science and practice by Robert Cialdini. Regarded by many as
the standard go to book on the subject.
Resistance and Persuasion, edited by Knowles & Linn. Excellent overview
of academic research containing many hidden gems.
Understanding People
Improv by Keith Johnstone. Though it was written for actors, its a great
book that provides wonderful insights into people and communication.
Passages by Gail Sheehy. A guide to the predictable crises of adult life.
The Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel. How relationships and thebrain interact to shape who we are.
Inspiration
Illusions by Richard Bach. Thisbook changed my life.
The Battersea Park Road To Paradise by Isabel Losada. A wonderful,funny, touching account of the authors search for enlightenment.
Bringing About Positive Changes In Your Life
I myself am not a therapist and I dont deal in change work. If this is what
interests you, I can recommend three people.
James Tripp.www.jamestripp.co.uk
John Morgan.www.jpmorganjr.com
Gemma Bailey.www.peoplebuilding.co.uk
( More > )
http://www.interestingtalks.co.uk/http://www.interestingtalks.co.uk/http://www.interestingtalks.co.uk/http://www.jamestripp.co.uk/http://www.jamestripp.co.uk/http://www.jamestripp.co.uk/http://www.jpmorganjr.com/http://www.jpmorganjr.com/http://www.jpmorganjr.com/http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/http://www.jpmorganjr.com/http://www.jamestripp.co.uk/http://www.interestingtalks.co.uk/7/27/2019 Mind Twists
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Cold Reading
My book on cold reading is available fromwww.thecoldreadingbook.com.
Other books on the subject are available. They just arent as good as mine.
Alternatively, just tap cold reading into Google. Youll find plenty ofinformation.
My Courses
I offer several training courses:
Applied Cold Reading (described as like mind-reading for business)
Persuasion Secrets Of A Mindreader (the same course I presented to theFBI and members of the British Olympics Team)
Use Your Super Mind (creativity, super memory, speed-reading etc.)
The One-Day Marketing Course For Small Business
Making The BreakHow To Quit Your Job And Be Happy
Some of these are offered publicly, some I mainly offer to the corporate
sector, and some are available on a one-on-one basis if youre willing to payme lots of money.
If interested, see my websitewww.ianrowland.com
or contact me:[email protected].
Im always interested in speaking opportunities, especially if they involvevisiting new parts of the world. I look forward to hearing from you.
- Ian Rowland, London, 2011
___end
This is a copyright document and all rights are reserved.
However, you can privately copy it and distribute it as
much as you like provided you keep it intact, give full
credit and attribution, and dont make money out of it or
use it to add commercial value to anything such as a
publication or website. - IR
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