Mind Twists

7/27/2019 Mind Twists

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How can you persuade anyone to do any th ing ?

How can you be happy?

And what very strange thing did I do in 1997?

____________

Mind Twists

A written version of a talk by Ian Rowland

Anyone can get this document free of charge:www.ianrowland.com/MindTwists
http://www.ianrowland.com/MindTwistshttp://www.ianrowland.com/MindTwistshttp://www.ianrowland.com/MindTwists


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Mind Twists / Copyright Ian Rowland 2011 / www.ianrowland.com 1

Contents

Introduction 2How The Talk Was Originally Advertised 2About Me 3Thanks 3

Two Questions And A Story 4The Persuasion Business 5

All Of Us, All The Time 5How Can We Be Persuasive? 6

ELF and PEG 7

Motivational Theory In Two Minutes 8PEG Theory 9Persuasion Summary 9

Persuasive Impossibility 10Psychic Readings: Why? 11Psychic Readings: How? 12A Digression On Sceptics, Believers And Conflict 13

How Can We Be Happy? 14Short And Long 15Patterns In The Mind 16The Patterns You See 16The Patterns You Use 17Happy Endings 18Four Types Of Potential 18

A Story 19Story Part 1: Living The Sleep 19Story Part 2: What Are You Going To Do? 21Story Part 3: One Thing I Did 22Story Part 4: OtherThings Ive Done 23

The End: A Point Of View 24References 26


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Introduction

Matt Kendall runs a meet-up group called Interesting Talks - London. In

October 2011 he couldnt find any good speakers to give a talk, so he asked

me to step in.

I gave the talk at The Comedy Pub in London. For readers outside London, Ishould explain that the three most prestigious venues in the city are, in

ascending order, the O2 Arena, Wembley Arena, and The Comedy Pub.

This document is not meant to be a transcript of the talk I gave. It is a stand-

alone document that covers a lot of the same material. Some parts that were

in the talk are not in this document and vice versa.

I have also taken the opportunity to include some references and suggestions

for further reading that I couldnt include during the live event.

How The Talk Was Originally Advertised

This is how the talk was advertised on the Interesting Talks London

meet-up group website.

This talk is about cool and interesting aspects of your mind. Youll

learn how to be psychic and how to persuade anyone to do anything

you want (almost). In addition, Ian will perform one or two

inexplicable mind miracles, just for fun and to give you something totalk about the next day. Youll laugh, youll be amazed, youll learn

how your mind works (or sometimes doesnt) and youll also learn

about success, wealth and happiness.

Ian Rowland was hired to teach persuasion skills to FBI agents. The

Ministry of Defence asked him to teach recruiters how to spot terrorists

at job interviews. The British Olympics Team turned to him for help

getting maximum performance from their athletes. What else? Well, he

taught Derren Brown the art of cold reading (how to look psychic

when youre not) before Derren became famous, and he has trained the

sales teams of many top companies. Hes also a member of the InnerMagic Circle, and used to perform sketches with his friend Eddie

Izzard. In short, he is an entertainer, writer and trainer whose work has

taken him around the world. Hes also very funny, if that helps.


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About Me

I am a writer, entertainer and trainer. Im based nearLondon but I run off

and have adventures all over the world whenever possible. I also eat biscuits.

Thats all you need to know because this talk isnt about me. Its about thefact that life is interesting, people are interesting and the world is interesting.

Its also about the fact that the world is full of joyful things to do.

Thanks

Thanks to Matt for running the group and organising the talk.

Thanks to everyone who turned up for staying to the end and clapping when

they realised, joyfully, that I was finally going to stop talking.

Thanks to my friends John Morgan and James Tripp for giving earlier talksin the same series that were better than mine, and for telling Matt about me.

Thanks to the brilliant Kate Jones for proof-reading.

Thanks to the amazing Mark Hesketh-Jennings for photographs of the talk.

- Ian Rowland, London, 2011

Most people who look at this design assume that the grey text is a reflection

of the blue text. They never notice that the grey text actually says MNID.


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Two Questions And A Story

[ At the start of the talk, I performed a small miracle to prove that

anything is possible. I do this a lot. To save time, I havent provided adescription of the miracle here. Just trust me when I tell you it was

awesome, unique and very impressive. - IR ]

These events are called Interesting Talks. Im okay with thesecondpart. Iwill definitely be talking.

Its the first part that I have problems with. I think it creates highexpectations that could be hard to live up to. Maybe Matt [Interesting

Talks organiser] could set the bar a little lower. Perhaps he could call these

things Rambling on a bit in thepub, orOne way to pass the time if theresnothing much on TV. How about Looking a bit like Steve Martin.

Okay, afatSteve Martin.

But no, Matt calls them Interesting Talks. So I had to think, what can I

share with you that would be interesting? And I came up with two interesting

questions, and what I hope is an interesting story.


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The Persuasion Business

The first interesting question Id like to share with you is this: how does

persuasion work?

My first job was in creative media. I worked at a place that had a graphic

design studio, a sound studio and video production facilities. We couldcreate more or less anything.

The job offered plenty of variety. Companies came to us for many differentreasons, mostly to do with selling, marketing and training. They might want

a new sales brochure, an advertising jingle or a series of training videos. We

had clients from every market and industry you can think of, from finance to

pharmaceuticals, from bakeries to heavy engineering. We had small local

businesses, national chains and huge multinationals.

Although in one sense there was plenty of variety, in another sense every

project I handled was the same. It was always about how to get a message

from one mind to another, and how to do itpersuasively.

Thats the business I was in: the persuasion business.

I worked in this field for many years and over countless projects, lurching

clumsily and haphazardly from one stage in my career to the next. Sorry, I

mean, as I completed a series of shrewd and carefully planned strategic

career moves to achieve my personal and professional goals.

All Of Us, All The Time

As the years went by, I realised that I wasnt the only one in the persuasion

business. The fact is, we are allin the persuasion business, all the time,

whether we realise it or not. Perhaps you dont thinkthis applies to you?

Well, lets see.

Ever been on a first date? Ever been for an interview to get a job, or to get a

better job? Ever tried to get a teenager to tidy up his room, or to be back by

midnight? Evertried to get the delivery man to actually call when youre in,

as opposed to when youre out?

You can see what I mean.

We are allin the persuasion business, allthe time. And most of us would

like to be a bit more successful at it.

So, what actually works?


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How Can We Be Persuasive?

Persuasion is a big subject, and in the time I have this evening I cant go into

a huge amount of detail. Lets start with a few simple points.

We know that if you want to be persuasive, short and simple messages are

good. Devising the rightshort and simple message isnt easy. You have topay a lot of people a lot of money to end up with Coke adds life.

We also know its important for the message to be memorable. You have tofind ways to make it sticky. One good way is to use rhyme. In fact, I can use

rhyme to take over your minds. I can make a thought pass through your head

tomorrow, as soon as anyone mentions the word Friday:

Friday is my favourite time / To think about this stupid rhyme.

The thing is, you cant forget this even if you want to.


Annoying, isnt it? And the more I say it, the more sticky and annoying it

becomes.


By all means try really hard notto remember this annoying rhyme. See what

happens. I could mention several other persuasion basicsusing the right

vocabulary / the importance of a smile / the role of colours and emotive

imagery / using yes questions and so on.However, there are two factors that matter more than all the rest.

Ayers Rock, Australia


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ELF and PEG

The two words you need to remember are ELF and PEG. [ I know these are

acronyms, but in a live talk its easier to say words. IR ]

Lets look at them one at a time.

ELF stands for Emotions Lead Facts. In other words, emotions count far

more than reasoning and rational arguments.

People can be rational when they have to be, such as when compiling a tax

return or trying to figure out how to program the DVD. However, although

people can be rational when they have to be, they experience life

emotionally, and its the emotions that matter most.

You may think your views and opinions are based on sound reasoning. In

fact, most of us first decide what we wantto be true, and then we get very

selective. When we notice a bit of evidence that happens to support ouropinion, we collect it. When we notice a bit of evidence that contradicts our

opinion, we ignore it or assume its flawed and discredited.

This is also true of people who pride themselves on being very rational. They

may do it less obviously and less often, and maybe they try a little harder to

achieve some objectivity. But theyll still have their ELF quirks, just like

everyone else.

Emotions drive opinions, and a lot of the time reasons are just self-serving

wrapping paper.

If you want to be persuasive, you have to understand this and work with, or

appeal to, peoples emotions, rather than their rational and intellectual

faculties.

So thats ELF: Emotions Lead Facts.

The next word I want to share with you is PEG. It stands forPerceived

Emotional Gain. To see what its all about, we need to delve into the murky

and fascinating world of motivational theory.

This is a copyright document and all rights are reserved.

However, you can privately copy it and distribute it as

much as you like provided you keep it intact, give full

credit and attribution, and dont make money out of it or

use it to add commercial value to anything such as a

publication or website. - IR


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Motivational Theory In Two Minutes

Motivational theory is all about why we make the choices we do.

There are many models and theories of motivation. Some of you may have

heard ofMaslows hierarchy of needs, and if not you can look it up online.This is one good model of human motivation, but there are many others.

Heres a very simplified summary.

Inside your skull is a squidgy grey cauliflower weighing 2 or 3 pounds. This

is your brain. We have a handy label for the activity of the brain: we call it

your mind.

Yourmind doesnt just exist. It is purposeful, as if itsprogrammed to do

certain things and pursue certain goals.

First of all, your mind is trying to survive.Assuming it manages to survive, its trying to be safe and feel comfortable.

Some of this is taken care of consciously, some of it unconsciously.

Your mind also wants to reproduce. Not all the time, of course I mean not

right now, although you never know. Those two over there are looking pretty

darned friendly from where Im standing.[ This was a reference to a

rather amorous couple that I pretended to notice in the audience to

obtain a weak laugh. It didnt work and this delightfully humorous

remark was met with stony silence. Pearls before swine, or what?IR ]

Your mind also wants to belong. It wants to belong to a family, tribe orsociety. It wants to belong to groups based on shared interests, such as a

particular sports team, or shared activities, such as scuba-diving, playing

chess or eating biscuits. (Not necessarily all at the same time.)

Your mind also wants status, respect and recognition.

And on top of all that, when time allows, it wants a little bit of pleasure,

leisure and fun.

Your mind is constantly seeking all of these things that Ive mentioned.

What has this got to do with persuasion? Everything


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PEG Theory

Ive mentioned several things that your mind is trying to achieve all the time.

It never stops. Your mind regards any step towards one of these goals as a

Perceived Emotional Gain (or PEG for short).When you present your message to someonea message that you hope will

be persuasiveyou are making an offer.

If you do notoffer a perceived emotional gain, then you will not be

persuasive. (In fact, you cannotbe. It is impossible for a human being to

knowingly choose options that do not constitute a perceived emotional gain.)

If you dooffer a perceived emotional gain, itspossible and likely that you

willbe persuasive. Its not guaranteed, because people are complex andweird and persuasion is never an exact science. But at least you stand a

chance.For example, if you are selling a car, you have to first of all figure out what

the person you are dealing with will regard as a PEG. One customer may

want to feel its a very safe car, another just wants it to be fast and powerful .One wants to know it will be economical to run, another just wants

confirmation that its the same carthat his sporting hero drives.

Its a case of tuning in to the mind you are dealing with, and seeing which

PEG, which perceived emotional gain, it is looking for and will respond to.

Get it right, and you will usually succeed. Get it wrong, and you never will.

By the way, notice that I sayperceivedemotional gain. This is all thatmatters. The emotional gain might not be real. Many people buy things that

dont actually work. Women buy cosmetics that dont actually make them

look younger. Men buy aftershave that doesnt actually make themirresistible to women. However, so long as the product offers the customer a

PEG, he or she will often buy it.

Persuasion Summary

So, summing up if you want to be persuasive, remember that emotions

matter more than reasons, and that you have to offer a perceived emotional

gain. ELF and PEG will get you a long way in the persuasion business.

Of course, this is necessarily a very short and superficial discussion of what

is a vast and very interesting subject. See the notes at the end of this

document for further details.


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Persuasive Impossibility

After many years in the persuasion business, I developed an interest in a very

special kindof persuasion: persuasion in the realm of the impossible.

If I am trying to sell you a car, it is at leastpossible that the car is, in fact, a

pretty decent car and one that would suit your needs very well. But how doyou persuade someone about something that doesnt make sense, and isnt

even possible?

Im a member of the Inner Magic Circle. Ive performed as a magician and

mind-reader all over the world. Im not famous or anything, but Ive had a

lot of fun entertaining audiences large and small everywhere from Los

Angeles to Sydney, and Ive even been on TV a few times.

As a magician, I know how to persuade your mind to accept an impossibleconclusion, like the little demonstration I used at the start of this talk. This is

what magicians are good at. We can play with your mind and make it reach

the wrong conclusion.

However, magicians do what they do in a theatrical context. You see aperformance on a stage, and you know its not real-life. When you see an

actor die on stage, you know its just stage blood and not a real death.

What about deceptive impossibility outside of a theatrical context? How

does thatwork?

One very good and widespread example would be psychic readings.

Sunset over fr ozen lake, Ljubljana


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Psychic Readings: Why?

All of you have either been for a psychic reading or you know someone who

has. Some psychics read tarot cards or palms. Some offer astrological or

clairvoyant readings, while others say they can relay messages from thedead. (Reading tea leaves was very popular at one time. You dont see it

much these days due to the emergence of that great dark nemesis of psychic

powers: the teabag.)

The psychic industry is one of the oldest in the world. In one form or

another, it is found in every society, all over the world, throughout history.

Its also one of the mostprofitable industries. Lets put it this way: its more

profitable than oil. To make money from oil, you have to find it, drill it,

refine it, distribute it and sell it. To make money from readings you just

talk to people and they give you money.

So, how does persuasion work in this context?

Its clearly not based on an appeal to reason. Theres no scientific evidence

for psychic powers, as the sceptics never tire of telling us. Then again, noteverything is a scientific question. Theres no scientific evidence I ate two

biscuits last Tuesday, but that doesnt mean it wasnt a real phenomenon.

However, even setting aside the science issue, common sense tells you that a

few tarot cardssome pretty pictures printed on card stockcant have any

specific connection to you or events in your life.

So why do people pay for readings? You already know the answer. Itsbecause readings offer a PEG, a perceived emotional gain.

We all get frustrated sometimesby the fact that we cant see the future. Its

nice to think someone can seesomeof what the future holds. Its even nicer

when they say, as they always do, that the signs are generally positive.

Some people go to see psychics because theyre looking forhope, comfort

and reassurance of a kind they cant obtain any other way. Some people justgo for fun. Its apleasant, relaxing experience where you get told that youre

basically a good person and your futures going to be mostly okay. Many

people happen to think thats worth paying to hear.

Okay, so thats the why. Now lets look at the how.


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Psychic Readings: How?

How do psychic readings work?

Its a big subject and I cant cover it in detail, but lets take an example.

Lets say John [ someone called John happened to be in the front row -IR ]goes to see a psychic and says, She told me all sorts of things that she

couldnt possibly have known. For example, she knew that my brother

moved to New York last year, and I got a call from him yesterday!

It sounds impressive. However, if you could go back and be a fly on the wall

at that reading, you would see thats not quite what happened.

The psychic says something like, Im seeing a connection with overseas,

Im getting the letter A for some reason, can you understand thisconnection?

Lets consider this. Many countries contain the letter A, and two very bigones start with it: America and Australia. The psychic hasnt said whether

this connection is past, present or future. She hasnt said whether its

personal, social or professional. She hasnt said whether it pertains to realevents or just dreams. The connection could in fact be anything at all.

Heres the point: the psychicprovides thestatement, but the client provides

thesignificance. In this example, John might say, Well, my brother moved

to America last year, to New York, could that be it?

The psychic says, Yes, thats what Im sensing, a family connection with

New York. Im also seeing communicationmaybe quite recently?

What does communication mean? It could cover dozens of different

possibilities. Once again, the psychic has offered a statement, but the client

provides the significance.

Well, says John, as it happens he phoned yesterday.

The psychic says, Yes, thats what I was sensing, a recent call from him.

It can all feel very convincing. After the reading, John will talk about it in away that makes it sound far more impressive than it really was at the time.

This process can never fail. If John cant find any connection, of any kind,with any country containing the letterA, the psychic just says, Well, if

that doesnt mean anything to you now, it will do soon will you look out

for that? Its going to be quite a promising opportunity.

This process is called cold reading and this is just one quick example. There

is a lotmore to it! See the notes at the end of this document.


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A Digression On Sceptics, Believers And Conflict

Having mentioned psychics and readings, I want to digress for a moment.

There are many believers who are certain that psychic powers do exist.

There are many sceptics who are certain that psychic powers do notexist

or at least we dont have any credible evidence. Sceptics even have their own

magazines, societies and conferences. Ive been to several and performed at

a few. I even went to Italy to perform at the World Sceptics Congressyes,

there really is such a thing!

These arguments about whether psychic powers are real or not have been

going on for a long time. They never achieve anything and never will.

Heres the truth. I can give it to you in eleven words: psychic powers are as

real as you want them to be.

When were talking about psychic powers, were not talking about

something like that glass of watersomething that eitherdoes or doesntexist. Were talking about something that is a reality in terms of someones

emotional perception.

If you want or need psychic powers to be real, they are real for you. If you

dont, then they arent. Thats all there is to it.

The same goes for many other things in life: the brilliance of Manchester

United, the merits of drinking beer, the desirability of buying clothing from a

particular designer. All these things are as real as you want them to be.

Its the same with your relationship with a god of some description. If you

want or need him to be real, hes perfectly real to you. To the rest of us, not

so much.

It would be great if we could all just learn these words: its as real as youwant it to be.

Then we can all be friends, we can all love one another (which is more

important than anything else), get on with our lives, learn from one another,help one another and stop re-hashing the same old arguments.

When I look at the world around me, I honestly dont feel we need moreconflict. I think we need more people to relax, smile, shake hands and say,

Well, I guess its as real as you want it to be.Lets just leave it at that.

(By the way, if there is a god, I believe he has a plan for me. Its aplan that

involves eating a lot of biscuits.)


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How Can We Be Happy?

[ At this point in the talk, I performed my second miracle of the evening.

I started with a single, flat sheet of newspaper, made a few cuts, andended up with two solid, interlinked squares of paper without any joins

or gaps. This is impossible, but I did it anyway. - IR ]

Earlier on, I said that in very simple terms our minds are always seekingvarious kinds of perceived emotional gainthe need to belong, to feel safe,

respected and so on.

Putting it in very simple terms, were all trying to be happy. The obvious

question to ask is: how come we arent very good at it?

Why does happiness seem so hard to achieve? Why does the health servicespend a billion pounds a year on sedatives and anti-depressants? Why is

there no such thing as an out-of-work therapist? Why is it that any guru gets

swamped with people asking how to understand life and achieve happiness?

The answer lies in the difference between two different kinds of happiness,

and in the patterns that we run in our minds.

View fr om the top of a glacier, M il ford Sound


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Short And Long

There are two kinds of happy: short-term happy and long-term happy.

Short-term happy is what our bodies and minds can perceive very easily. If

Im sipping a fine Zinfandel, listening to Sinatra singing Cole Porter, while aclose friend of mine treats me to an all-over body massage, Im pretty sure

Im happy. If she adds a couple of biscuits, Im really happy.

Its also easy to plan for. If this is what Ive got planned for tomorrow

evening, then Im reasonably sure Ill be happy tomorrow evening.

Long-term happy is harder to perceive. Our senses arent wired up to work

on that timescale. Were you happy last year? The question doesnt even

seem to make sense. You could only say something like, In what way doyou mean? I guess I was happy in some ways but not in others.

As we cant readilyperceive long-term happy, its also harder toplan for.

Just to make things even more complicated, the world we live in is reallygood at short-term happy because lots of people have found ways to make

money out of it.

This is why we all have a million entertainment options these days: pubs,

clubs, cinemas, theatres, restaurants and so on. Weve all got a hundred TV

channels to ignore and we can carry every song we know in a small box

made of metal, silicon and magic. Thats the entire history of mankind right

there: from Eve with an apple core to Steve with an Apple Corp.

Our amazing high-tech world is all about infinite choice and instant

gratification, and theres plenty of money to be made catering to this

demand.

But its harder to make money out of long-term happy, so theres a lot lessemphasis on it. You never hear this sales pitch: Sign up to our entertainment

service and you can watch any movie you like, five years from now.

Doesnt really work, does it?

So thats one part of why many people arent very happy: they get distracted

by short-term happy, and neglect the long-term.

Theres another good reason, and it has to do with running bad patterns. Let

me explain.


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Patterns In The Mind

Your mind is constantly striving to be happy. To this end, it runs what some

people would call strategies but I just call them patterns.

Your mind acquires patterns from many sources. Some can be regarded asinnate. You get other patterns from your parents, authority figures, family,

peer group and from your own experienceboth indirect (friends and the

media) and direct.

Some patterns work very well. If you have a pattern that says eat a well-

balanced, nutritious diet, with the occasional indulgence but not too much,

and take regular exercise, youre probably going to be quite fit and healthy.

If you have a pattern that says avoid exercise, because its boring and doesntfeel nice, and eat junk food because its quick, easy and tasty, then you will

gradually diverge from the words fit and healthy, and will probably speedup your divergence from the word alive.

The Patterns You See

I find that seeing and understanding people in this way is very useful.

Its quite common to hear people say, Oh, so-and-so treated me really

badly.No, they didnt. The person they are complaining about did not get

up one morning and think, Oh, Ill go and treat someone badly today.

The person they are complaining about is in the same boat as the rest of us.They are trying to be happy, and running the best patterns they have

available. If they dont seem to have very good patterns, well, have some

sympathy for them. Who knowsmaybe you can help them to find better

ones?

When you see someone angrywhats going on? You are seeing a mind that

is trying to be happy, but it has tried all the patterns it knows and none of

them have worked so it resorts to making a noise.

An infant child cant feed itself, so it makes a loud noise and this niceperson

called a mother comes along and feeds it. When we grow up, we learn to dolots of things for ourselves. We learn some patterns for getting what we

want. If a mind runs all the patterns it knows, and nothing seems to work, it

resorts to a very early one: make a loud noise. Thats what anger is the

sound of someone running out of patterns to try.


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The Patterns You Use

I think its also useful to apply this way of looking at things to yourself.

There are times when its useful to stop and ask yourself, What patterns am

I running? Are they good ones? Where did I get them? Whom did I get themfrom? Do they work? Could I use better ones?

Another good question to ask is, The person I got this pattern from did

they give it to me because its in my interests, ortheirs?

If you reach for a cigarette, what pattern are you running? Where did you get

it from? Does it really work? Is it a good one?

If you repeatedly form relationships with someone who hurts and abuses

you, what pattern are you running? Where did you learn it? Does it work?

If you stick with a job that leaves you weary and frustrated, what pattern areyou running? Why? Whom did you get it from? Does it work?

We all run lots of different patterns every day. Some of them will be good

ones that work. See if you can improve them, make them work even better.

Some of them will be bad ones that dont work. Fix them or ditch them.

Of course, the fixing part is difficult. Changing behaviour is something

many of us find difficult. There are people who can help you with that, such

as my friend James Tripp, but its a separate subject . See the notes at the end

of this document for further details.

Mosque, gull and moon, Istanbul


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A Story

I said this talk was about two interesting questions and a story.

The first interesting question was how to be persuasive.

The second was how to be happy.

That just leaves the story. To tell the story, I have to talk a little bit aboutmyself. I know when I say that, all the women in the audience will

experience a moment of shock and disbelief No, really? A man who

wants to talk about himself? I dont believe it, that neverhappens! I expect

theyll be covering this on the news when we get home.

Story Part 1: Living The SleepSee if you can spot a pattern here.

When I was young, they said, There are some very important exams you

have to take when youre 16. If youpass them, thats okay. But if you dont,

youre afailure.

Being a failure didnt sound great, so I tried to pass these exams. This wasnt

easybecause Im not intellectually strong. Im not playing the false modesty

cardits just true. So I did a stupid amount of homework and burned lots ofuseless stuff into my head, and I passed the exams.

After Id passed them, I thought maybe I could feel good about myself. But

they said, No! There are some otherimportant exams you take when youre

18. If you pass them, thats okay. But if you dont, youre afailure.

Being a failure didnt sound great, so I spent another million hours learning

more amazingly useless stuff and I passed the exams.

I thought maybe I could feel good about myself. But they said, No! Theresthis thing called a degree, and its important that you get one. If you can get

a degree, thats okay. But if you dont, youre afailure.

This was back in the day when the taxpayer paid for it, so I went to SheffieldUniversity and I did a degree. It was a very embarrassing degree. I dont

really want to mention it, but in the interests of humility and full disclosure, Iwill tell you. It was a degree in English Literature and Philosophy.

You might not be aware of how utterly useless that is, so I will tell you.

When this talk is over, go to the bins outside a burger bar. Put your hand in

and pull out something at random. Whatever you have in your hand will be

worth more than an honours degree in English Literature and Philosophy.

So I got my degree, largely because it was the sort of degree where youd

have to work hard notto get it.


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I thought maybe I could feel good about myself. But they said, No! What

matters is whether you can get a job. If you can get a job, thats okay. But if

you cant, youre afailure.

So I got a job. Then they said, Ah, but what matters is whether you can get abetterjob. One that pays you more money so you can buy more stuff!

And I said, What stuff? Im okay, I dont need more stuff.

They said, You dont understand! Youve got to get a better job to earn

more money to buy more stuff! Dont argue! If you can get a better job,

thats okay. But if you cant, youre afailure.

So I got a better job.

I thought maybe I could feel good about myself. But they said, No! What

matters is, can you get into management? Because if you can, thats okay.

But if you cant, youre afailure.

So I got into management.

Then they said, Ah! But what matters is, can you get intosenior

management? Because if you can, thats okay. But if you cant, youre a

failure.

So I got into senior management. I was the UK Head of Sales & Marketing

for a big, multinational internet technologies company.

Then, in 1997, something happened. I realised Id been told I was living the

dream, but I was actually living the sleep.

So I WOKE UP.

Visiti ng the dragons of Komodo I sland


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Story Part 2: What Are You Going To Do?

I realised that I wasnt happy. I realised that I didnt want to go into the

Monday management meeting and the Wednesday planning meeting and the

Friday team meeting. I wanted to live my life for me instead of followingother peoples ideas about how I should spend my time.

So I just walked out. I said, Ive had enough. Its boring and I want more

than this to look back on. And the biscuits arent very good either.

People said, Is this a mid-life crisis?

I was 36. I said, No, its called waking up.

People said, What are you going to do?

I said, Ive no idea, but it has to be more interesting than this.

People said, How will you survive?

I looked around the office and I said, Do you call this surviving? This isnt

surviving. Its existing. Anyway, I dont want to survive. I want to live.

People said, Oh,its very brave leaving the big salary, the car, the perks.

I said, The brave people are the ones who can look ahead and see more of

the samethe commuting, the meetings, the spreadsheets, the wretched

company partiesand go forward into that tunnel. I cant do that. Itsjust

too scary to think thats all Ill have to look back on.

So I left my job and I went on an adventure called Seeing what happensnext. Its a great adventure, Im still on it and I love every minute of it.


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Story Part 3: One Thing I Did

One thing I did was write a book on cold reading. I wrote it for my own

interest, and just because I wanted to.

I offered it to publishers and in their infinite wisdom they said no, theres nomarket for it, theres no point, youre wasting your time, dont bother.

By rejecting me they did me a wonderful favour. I published the book myself

and learned how to sell it online. So far Ive sold over 25,000 copies to

customers in 60 countries, and it just keeps selling and selling.

I figured out how to run the business without spending a penny on marketing

or advertising of any kind, saving myself a fortune. Since I publish and sell

the book myself, all the money comes to me instead of other people. Yay!

Its an online business, almost fully automated, so theres virtually nothing

for me to do. This means that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I can just sitand watch money pour into my bank account. Its quite likely Ill never have

to work again.

Theres an interesting twist to this story. Remember I mentioned the

importance of taking action? Last year I prepared a small booklet. It

explained how I built my online business and showed the reader how to do

the same and make money online.

As an experiment, I gave this to about forty people around the world from

many varied backgrounds, just to see what would happen. All of them read it

and liked it.None of them put it into practice. They are all great people andthey all had their reasons, of coursebut it does make you think!

The ancient stone city of Petra


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Story Part 4: Other Things Ive Done

What else have I done apart from create a cash cow for life?

I love travelling, which is why Ive included a few photos in this document.

Ive seen the sunrise over Ayers Rock, and the incredible Kilauea Calderain Hawaii. Ive seen the stone city of Petra and visited the giant Komodo

dragons of Indonesia. Ive been to the top of the Petronas Towers, and seen

the depths of the amazing Postojna Caves in Slovenia.

Ive taken a hot-air balloon ride at dawn over the mountains of Cappadocia

in Turkey, one of the strangest landscapes on Earth. Ive stood on a glacier at

5000 feet in Milford Sound in New Zealand, looking out over scenery so

stunning the mind cant take it in. I arranged one trip so that I was on Easter

Island on Christmas Day (yes, I really did this).

Ive seen the Cathedral on Spilled Blood in St. Petersburg and the Kiyomitzutemple of Kyoto. Ive seen the awesome Hagia Sophia, and stood next to thefull-size Saturn V rocket at Kennedy Space Centre. Ive climbed the Leaning

Tower of Pisa, visited Alcatraz prison, flown a helicopter over Sydney

harbour and been to Vienna to see my favourite painting, Breughels Return

of The Hunters.

Ive met scores of fascinating people. Some of them are famous, and I could

drop a few namesbut I wont. Some of them arent famous, but they are

wonderful and incredible people all the same.

There has been a lot of love in my life, because the world is full of amazingand delightful women, all with this fascinating gift of being able to think in

extraordinary ways that we men just cant even begin to imagine.

Most of all, Ive had fun.

Ive lectured by invitation at both Oxford and Cambridge. Ive performed

just about everywhere, including places where they dont normally have

performers, such as the Times Literary Festival.

I was hired by the FBI to teach their agents. I was an advisor to the Ministry

of Defence and I am an advisor to the sports psychologists of the British

Olympics team.

Ive done all these things just by waking up.

If you went on a similar adventure, you wouldnt do the same things or go

down the same paths as me. You would do different things, wonderful

things. But I expect you would have just as much fun.


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The End: A Point Of View

To end, I dont want to offer advice. You havent asked me for advice and

its not my place to give it. Instead, I want to share a point of view.

No matter how well you look after yourself, there will come a day when

either your mind or your body will start to let you down. Thats when someoptions start to be taken away from you and they never come back. Thats

when you start to realise all the things you wanted to do but never did, and

now you never will.

So heres my point of view.

If there are things you want to do, do them.

If there are places you want to see, go and see them.

If there are people you want to meet, go and meet them.

If there are experiences you want to have, have them.

If there are things you want to try, try them. See what happens. Thealternative is that youll spend the rest of your life wondering What if?

Everything you try will either be a success or a learning experience, and

learning is great.

Do these things while you can, because life is very short indeed and soon it

will be too late.

Do these things because youre great, and you deserve to have a great life.

Understand that when you act to fulfil your potential, you will always feel

good, and if you do anything else then you never will.

Most of all, love yourself, love other people and love life.

I also suggest you live as if anything is possible. I dont know if thats

actually true, but I know it makes life one heck of a lot more fun.

Thank you. I hope its been interesting.

[ To end my talk, I said Id do one more thing to show that anything is

possible. I proceeded to eat, chew and swallow broken glass. In my

experience, this tends to make a talk quite memorable. - IR ]


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One Small AdvertisementYou Dont Even Have To Read

I teach something called Applied Cold Reading (ACR). It has nothingto do

with pretending to be psychic.

ACR gives you super skills to sell, persuade and build rapport. Its very

useful in any role that involves meeting and dealing with people.

Ive been teaching this for four years to men and women from all walks of

life. Anyone can learn it, use it and benefit from it. Theres some workinvolved, but its fun as well.

All I ask is that you check it out, read the benefits, see the zingy testimonialsand see if its right for you:

www.appliedcoldreading.com

It wont kill you to take a look, and it might even turn out to be a good move.

Thank you.

- Ian
http://www.appliedcoldreading.com/http://www.appliedcoldreading.com/http://www.appliedcoldreading.com/


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References

Interesting Talks

Seewww.interestingtalks.co.ukorwww.meetup.com/interesting-talks-london

Persuasion

Changing Minds by David Straker. The best book ever written on all

aspects of persuasion. See www.changingminds.org .

Irrationality by Stuart Sutherland. A classic book, fun to read.

Influence: science and practice by Robert Cialdini. Regarded by many as

the standard go to book on the subject.

Resistance and Persuasion, edited by Knowles & Linn. Excellent overview

of academic research containing many hidden gems.

Understanding People

Improv by Keith Johnstone. Though it was written for actors, its a great

book that provides wonderful insights into people and communication.

Passages by Gail Sheehy. A guide to the predictable crises of adult life.

The Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel. How relationships and thebrain interact to shape who we are.

Inspiration

Illusions by Richard Bach. Thisbook changed my life.

The Battersea Park Road To Paradise by Isabel Losada. A wonderful,funny, touching account of the authors search for enlightenment.

Bringing About Positive Changes In Your Life

I myself am not a therapist and I dont deal in change work. If this is what

interests you, I can recommend three people.

James Tripp.www.jamestripp.co.uk

John Morgan.www.jpmorganjr.com

Gemma Bailey.www.peoplebuilding.co.uk

( More > )
http://www.interestingtalks.co.uk/http://www.interestingtalks.co.uk/http://www.interestingtalks.co.uk/http://www.jamestripp.co.uk/http://www.jamestripp.co.uk/http://www.jamestripp.co.uk/http://www.jpmorganjr.com/http://www.jpmorganjr.com/http://www.jpmorganjr.com/http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/http://www.peoplebuilding.co.uk/http://www.jpmorganjr.com/http://www.jamestripp.co.uk/http://www.interestingtalks.co.uk/


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Cold Reading

My book on cold reading is available fromwww.thecoldreadingbook.com.

Other books on the subject are available. They just arent as good as mine.

Alternatively, just tap cold reading into Google. Youll find plenty ofinformation.

My Courses

I offer several training courses:

Applied Cold Reading (described as like mind-reading for business)

Persuasion Secrets Of A Mindreader (the same course I presented to theFBI and members of the British Olympics Team)

Use Your Super Mind (creativity, super memory, speed-reading etc.)

The One-Day Marketing Course For Small Business

Making The BreakHow To Quit Your Job And Be Happy

Some of these are offered publicly, some I mainly offer to the corporate

sector, and some are available on a one-on-one basis if youre willing to payme lots of money.

If interested, see my websitewww.ianrowland.com

or contact me:[email protected].

Im always interested in speaking opportunities, especially if they involvevisiting new parts of the world. I look forward to hearing from you.

- Ian Rowland, London, 2011

___end

This is a copyright document and all rights are reserved.

However, you can privately copy it and distribute it as

much as you like provided you keep it intact, give full

credit and attribution, and dont make money out of it or

use it to add commercial value to anything such as a

publication or website. - IR
http://www.thecoldreadingbook.com/http://www.thecoldreadingbook.com/http://www.thecoldreadingbook.com/http://www.ianrowland.com/http://www.ianrowland.com/http://www.ianrowland.com/mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]://www.ianrowland.com/http://www.thecoldreadingbook.com/

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