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CHAPTER 1
Ava
Prothos - Brite City
Has it really been a year?
Glancing at the clock by my window, I see that its almost noon.
But there is no light coming in to my chamber. No light coming
in through those dark shadows above.
The days are growing darker.
Theres a hollow feeling in my chest as I slowly get out of the
cool soothing sheets of my bed. I hear the faint bustle of
ongoing traffic and excited chatter of the city outside the tower.
I dreamt of this day exactly one year ago. Imagining what my
life would be like, dreaming of howIdbe like, how Ivechanged.
Have I changed?
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Its been a year since I turned Vehem, a Veyto with the ability of
strength and speed. A year since I left my home behind and
picked up a new one in Brite City, training relentlessly everyday
to harness my ability to become a Protector.
Its been a year since Ive spoken to my family.
I dreamt of my mother last night. Her kind hazel eyes, caramel
skin and tender hands over mine, trying to help me heal. Trying
to help me attain the ability of the Hild. I tried so hard but I
could never close a wound, never ease someones pain.
I could never be her.
I turned out to be quite different.
I rub my tired, dry eyes and stretch my hands above my head. I
slept in too long. Nik is probably waiting for me. We were
planning on doing absolutely nothing together on our last day
off before we get shipped off to our respective stations to train
separately for the next year. The next phase in our training is to
act as a second man to a working Protector in another city.
I cant deny that Im a little nervous about this. Ive heard horror
stories from the past, how the Protectors assigned for some of
the Vehem-in-training were so harsh and so cruel to them that a
lot of them just dropped out of the phase. They ended up
becoming guards at the Walls or security officers at schools.
They became B-rated Vehem.
Something I dont want to be.
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Theres a soft knock on my door and I swiftly turn around,
already in defense mode. Sense hits me fast, knowing that it
must just be one of the others, checking on me because I
overslept. I slowly ease my shoulders and take a deep breath.Training has made me like this.
Come in, I say. I dont think my voice has changed in all this
time. Its still that sugary sweet tone the rest of my family has.
The voice of a Hild.
The door opens just a crack and my stomach does the smallest
lunge when I see him walk in. Nik. Hes been my friend since
the first day I arrived at Brite City of the Vehem. Hes the
closest thing Ive ever come to family during this whole year.
After each grueling day of training, we always had each other to
console.
As he makes his way in, I give him a small nod in greeting. He
eyes are dark and he has a tall, brooding build of a Vehem that I
always feared before gaining my ability. But now its familiar.
Now its home.
Niks black hair is still damp from a shower, and his dark green
shirt brings out the green in his tough, but warm green eyes.
They look from me to outside my window.
Well, its a beautiful morning isnt? He asks drily, the smallest
grin curving over his lips.
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Couldnt be prettier, I reply, imitating his tone. Perfect for a
picnic, no?
He laughs faintly, still looking out the window, and then meets
my gaze. Last day of freedom.
My smile fades, Dont say that. It wont be that terrible.
Well, he says softly. That all depends, doesnt it?
I hesitate. This isnt the kind of attitude Officer Sider--head of
the Vehem training unit--has been telling us to have. We should
be determined to face whatever we need to. Defiant against any
anxiety we might be feeling.
He inhales sharply. Things arent going to be the same
anymore.
I offer him a small smile which he doesnt return. This is harder
for him than it is for me. Nik was born Vehem. He was born intothis. His father is a Vehem Commander. His life has pretty much
always been this. Hes neverhad to leave home. Hes never had
to leave everything he loves behind.
Like me.
It gets easier, I say, my voice as soft as feathers. Youll be
surprised how quickly youll adjust.
Some of the warmth comes back into his eyes and he smiles at
me. I see his appreciation at my attempt to console him. I
know.
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Good, I give him a sidelong glance. Stop worrying.
Im not worried, he states.
I shake my head and smile. Sure.
Im... His voice trails off. He chews the inside of his mouth. A
gesture Ive learned of his when he meanders deep into his
anxious thoughts. Im not worried, he repeats weakly. He
keeps his eyes averted from me.
I take a step closer. Come on. I thought we were going to enjoy
our last day here?
His eyes still dont meet mine. We are. When they finally do,
I see pure dread. They skirt up from my chin to my forehead. He
opens his mouth to speak but then quickly clasps it shut. His lips
stay tightly pressed and his eyes bore into mine.
My cheeks flush heat from this sudden tension. What? I blurtout.
Nothing, he says, his voice turns casual instantly, though I can
still sense an undercurrent of something else. Something hes
keeping from me. We should go, come on. Uki and Comme
have been waiting at GC.
Im not convinced. I know him too well. What? I demand
again.
He sighs, running his hand through his wavy hair. Nothing,
Ava. What are you talking about?
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I continue to give him the look of death. Tell me.
Theres nothing to tell, he shoots back, he sounds annoyed
now. Theyre all waiting for us, lets go. We dont have that
much time before the assembly.
I clench my fists. Ill find out eventually, I suppose.
Stop being so difficult.
Stop hiding whatever it is youre hiding from me.
He shakes his head and walks out of the room. Get dressed. Illmeet you there.
Exasperated, I slam the door after him.
*
As soon as I step outside the tower, a cold gust of wind slaps me
in the face. I frown. I remember the days when this time of year
used to be warm and humid, with light trickling from the clouds
and Headings beautiful melodies trailing in from the pearly
white trees.
Those days existed a long time ago. When the Contain was not
so close to the endpoint. Those days are likely never to return.
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The tall glass buildings loom drearily in the air. Point Drives
whiz by. Sharets zoom above.
A normal day, and like any other, I feel this consternation in the
atmosphere. In the Veytos passing by. We all just want to go
about living our lives without having to worry about the near
future. A life thats not tinged with the uncertainty that we could
all be destroyed in 96 days.
But we cant. Not until those 96 days are up.
Not until hes destroyed.
Miss Divine. A soft voice from behind me. I turn around and
see Joi, hauling a huge sack over her shoulder. Her clothes are
ratty and her hair looks like it hasnt been washed in days. Her
magenta eyes brighten as soon as they set on me. She was
destined to be a Vehem, but never attained her ability. She is
labeled a Disabled now.
Joi! Where are you off to? I say gleefully. She and I formed
an unlikely friendship during my training. I guess this is because
I dont look at her like dirt as most Veytos do.
This was my fear for the longest time, to be disabled. All Veytos
must attain their ability by age 18 or theyd end up like this. A
slave.
Just doing my wash rounds, Joi says sweetly with a shy shrug.
I should have dressed a little warmer though! Where are you
going?
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Oh, just heading over to GC for a bit before the assembly.
Her expression turns solemn. Do you need help packing, my
lady?
I smile and shake my head. I think Im all set. Thank you
though. Will I see you for a bit after the assembly? I know Ill
need help washing the make-up off.
She nods and laughs, Of course my lady. Hope Frida does a
good job painting up your face. Want to dazzle the
Commanders son, no? On your last night?
She bursts into a fit of giggles at my reaction. Which is
completely stupefied.
Dont be ridiculous, Joi. I say, feeling my face turn red. I try
to laugh it off. What in the name of Zane is she implying?
She finally stops laughing and sighs. I will miss you dearly,Miss Divine.
I grin. Joi, how many times have I told you to just call me
Ava.
Not enough, Im afraid.
A wave sadness comes over me then, will I ever see Joi again
after Im assigned?
Ill miss you too Joi. I say with a sigh.
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With that, I jog over to the main road and prepare myself to
launch through the streets of Brite City to the Green Compound,
where Nik and the others are waiting for me.
I bend my knees and breathe in and out two times. The next
second, Im zooming down the road, my peripheral vision
completely blurred out. I hear nothing but the popping in my
ears and can barely feel the hard cement under my feet as I pick
up speed. Exhilaration floods my veins and I find myself
smiling.
In this moment, nothing else exists. Just me and this ability that I
was graced with.
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CHAPTER 2
James
EarthNew York City
I wake to the sound of my brother crying and the clanking of
dishes from the kitchen. I glance over at the clock. 6:30 PM.
Damn, Ive been passed out for over three hours, more sleep
than Ive had in weeks. Those sleeping pills my mother gave me
really did the trick.
I sit up and stretch my arms above my head, yawning loudly. I
pick up my cell phone and smile to myself when I see her text.
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I was just thinking about that night we pranked my parents into
believing I was pregnant. Cant stop laughing, and this is BAD
because Im in class. I miss you so much it hurts.
Katie. The love of my life for the past five years. Shes a year
older than me so shes already away at college in Boston. Shes
been gone for two weeks. The empty feeling of not having her
around is truly becoming overwhelming. God, I miss her too.
I text her back, telling her exactly that. That I miss her and that
might be the reason I cant sleep. I close my eyes and imagine
her face, her deep blue eyes and the way her nose crinkled when
she laughed.
Beautiful.
Finally, I get out of bed and throw on a white t-shirt. I get a
glance of myself in the mirror, my brown hair is up on weird
angles on my head, and dark circles are under my bloodshoteyes. Im going to show up to this party looking like shit.
Well, good morning. My mother says sarcastically, though her
eyes are warm. Her blonde hair is tied up in a messy bun on the
top of her head, and her eyes are an emerald green. We look
nothing alike. Were not related. I was adopted when I was 6
months old.
My mother turns back to a sink full of dishes. Those pills are
miraculous, arent they?
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I smile and yawn. Give me five more. I wanna be zonked out til
Monday.
No way, Jose. My mother says without looking at me. Youd
be zonked out til December.
She puts a clean plate on the counter. Have some dinner and go
back to bed.
Ive got Janets party, I reply, taking the plate anyway and
filling it with mashed potatoes and peas. When my mother gives
me that exasperated look I pucker my lips in innocence. I wontbe out too late. Promise.
You need to get some rest, James. You look like a zombie.
Thanks, mom. Thanks. I glance over at my 6 year old brother,
Jared, who is sitting at the table. A pile of uneaten food is sitting
on his plate, and he sniffles, staring at it. The heck you cryin
about? I ask, stuffing a forkful of potatoes into my mouth.
Jared gives me a sour look and then a new batch of tears pour
from his eyes and he starts wailing again. My mother groans and
shakes her head. You know how your brother is about peas.
Awwww, I say in mock-sympathy. I mimic Jareds sad face
and walk over to him. Bud, I always eat peas. You know why?Jared shakes his head, still sobbing. Because, they make you
handsome! I move my head side to side and run my hands
through my thick wavy hair. How do you think all this
happened?
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James, please, my mother says through her laughter.
Im serious, I say to her, and then direct my attention back to
Jared. Surely you believe in magic?
Jared wipes his eyes. Magic peas?
Yes.
Mom never told me they were magic. He shoots my mother
and accusatory glance.
I narrow my eyes playfully at my mother. Mom is full of lies.You cant trust her.
My mother shakes her head as she continues to wash the dishes.
Alright, alright. Im telling you now Jared. Those peas She
wipes away a strand of hair from her forehead with the back of
her hand. Are the reason your stupid brother is so damn
handsome, okay? Now eat up.
I smirk at Jared as he starts to shovel spoons of peas into his
mouth. But then my smile fades when I turn to ask my mother a
question.
Wheres Dad?
She hesitates for a second too long before she responds.
Working late again.
Hmm, I say drily.
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My mother sighs. When she turns to look at me, theres an
undeniable sadness in her eyes. She gives me a knowing look.
Please dont.
I wish I could say I have as good of a relationship with my
father as I do with my Mom. I dont. Hes not around enough for
me to have. My parents can barely make it a few days before
hurtling into a row. My Dad has gotten angrier, less patient
while arguing with Mom. A few times when Ive witnessed the
fights, I swear my Dad was close to getting physical with her.
Maybe its best hes been working so late. I shrug and get up to
my feet. I should get going.
She turns away from me again. Please dont come home too
late, James.
Before I leave the kitchen, I walk over to my mother. Her back
is still to me. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her hair. Iwont. Love you.
As I exit, I wink at Jared and ruffle his hair.
Its late autumn in Brooklyn and I feel a cool breeze through my
t-shirt. The leaves on the trees are almost gone, and all this does
is remind me that those days of summer are drifting further and
further into the past. Those hot, bright days of humidity. Hearing
that God-awful tune of the icecream truck through my window
all hours of the day, and simply seeing the faces of New York
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City look a little happier; theres always a little more warmth in
their eyes in the summer.
But mostly, it reminds me of Katie. It reminds me of how she
looked when the sun struck her golden hair. How she would tie
it up in one of those crazy buns as she complained about how
muggy it was. It reminds me of how we would spend hours at
Coney Island Beach, the heat of her skin
It reminds me of how those days are over.
Theyre not over, I scold myself. Christmas is only a few monthsaway.
I continue to walk on towards the subway station. There arent
too many people in sight around me.
Thats why I spin around in alarm when I hear someone whisper
something close behind me. I freeze. Theres no one there.
A chill runs down my spine.
I frown, What the hell?
Could that have been my imagination? Was that a whisper? It
sounded like it. I heard someone say something. One word. I
stand there for a few more minutes, trying to decide if Im just
crazy, if this lack of sleep is messing with my head.
I then turn on my heel and hop up the subway station steps.
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*
OY! JAMES! I hear someone call my name as soon as I enter
Janets crowded apartment. The stench of sweat and alcohol fills
my nose and the air is heavy with moisture. I see nothing but
bodies swaying to a deafeningly loud beat that I can feel in mychest.
Gotta love house parties.
James!
James, youre here!
More voices. They come from the familiar girls I always see at
these things. Snapping their gum and sipping on their little girly
drinks.
All of their eyes are hungry. Hungrier ever since Katie left.
I cant say I hate the attention. But I cant even think twice about
getting with any of them.
I smooth my hands through my hair and scan the room,
looking for Janet and Casey. I grin at several others who say
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hello to me. I make my way over to the kitchen where I run into
a girl I didnt expect to be here.
Liv?
Hey, she says anxiously. Ive caught her off guard.
How are you? I ask, and I can see the concern in my voice
instantly irritates her. Shes not going to want to talk about this
now. Not here. Im just so surprised to see her.
Im fine, she replies curtly.
Really? I think to myself.After catching you almost jump off the
school building just a week ago, Im sure youre not fine.
She looks different. Her eyes are smoky with dark eyeshadow
and her lips are a deep shade of red. She looks nothing like she
did that day. Her eyes were swollen from crying. Her pale
blonde hair stuck to her wet cheeks. Now it waves gently aroundher face, framing her jaw.
I say something before she notices how distracted I am by how
pretty she looks.
Im glad you came tonight. Janets are always ragers.
She forces a smile as she looks around. I can clearly see that.
Can I get you something to drink? I ask.
Her eyes widen, as if I just asked her to marry me. Sure.
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Alright, Im getting you a beer. I say. Dont protest. Theres
no way Im coming back with a cranberryvodka.
She laughs, looking down at the floor. Beers fine.
I wink at her. Ill be right back.
Maybe she is doing better. The fact that she came to a
social event does say a lot. Liv has always been the loner. The
girl that always kept to herself.
I wonder why she wanted to jump. I never found out. After
I grabbed her from behind and hauled her back onto the roof,
she shoved me away and looked at me only for a split second.
Then she bolted.
Maybe she can tell me tonight. Maybe I can be the friend
she needs.
When I make it to the table that is completely covered inalcoholic beverages, I run into Casey, my best friend. Hes
tearing it up on the dance floor. He stops immediately when he
notices me.
Sheesh, there you are, says Casey. His dark skin is glistening
with sweat and he wears a ridiculous looking pink bandana over
his head. I rip it from his hair when hes close enough.
What the hell is this? I ask as I fling it at his chest.
He clutches the bandana in his hand. Trying out a new look.
Ifnew means 2002 then okay.
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Shut up. Did you see Janet?
No, not yet. I say as I pick up a beer and pop open the cap.
She looks hot. You better get on that tonight.
I glare at him. I truly hate some of the things that come out of
his mouth. Though, its nothing different from what most guys I
know say.
Definitely not, I say as I try to get around him to get back to
Liv. I hold two beer bottles in my hand.
Oh come on, James.
Get out of my way.
When are you going to stop being such a gentleman? Sheesh.
When are you going to stop being so damn disgusting?
He rolls his eyes and starts to walk off. Always the nice guy,he snorts. And then you wonder why you never get laid.
I feel heat rush up to my head. I dont know why his comment
gets me so agitated but it does. Casey always talks to me like
this but I usually never let it bother me. Why is it bugging me so
much right now?
You think I would ever do something like to Kate?
He snorts again. No. But Im sure shed do it to you. Shes
been dying to get out of town. Hell, Im sure shes screwing
someones brains out this very minute.
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This sets me off.
An animal-like rumble explodes from my mouth and I lunge on
him. The two beer bottles I was holding crash onto the floor and
glass shatters everywhere. Blinded by rage, my hands grasp
around his throat. His eyes widen in pure shock and he struggles
to pry my hands off him.
I growl again, anger boiling inside me like an incredible fire. I
feel heat crawl up my veins and want nothing but to crush
Caseys skull with my bare hands.
Theres silence for a split second while everyone registers
whats going on. A high pitch ringing starts in my ears.
Then I hear FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! from everyone
around me. This knocks me back into reality. The rage flushes
out of my system almost instantaneously and I loosen my grip
from Caseys throat. He coughs and stares at me in horror.
I stagger back. What have I done?I cant even remember what
Casey said that got me so pissed off.
What the-- Casey says between coughing. What the hell is
wrong with you?!
He stares at me like hes never stared at me before. Like no onehas ever stared at me before.
He stares at me in fear.
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We are standing in the middle of a circle that has formed. Center
staged. I feel everyones eyes on me. I feel their surprise.
James Carson has never been in a fight. James Carson would
never hurt a fly.
Im just as surprised as they are.
Because I almost just killed my best friend.
CHAPTER 3
Ava
Prothos - Brite City
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Theyre having racing duels. I see them through the large
metallic fence that I carefully crawl under to get into the GreenCompound. This is an abandoned, closed off compound that
most Vehem-in-training hang out at during off hours.
Ava! Finally! Nik calls out to me. Uki and Comme wave at
me before they become nothing but blurs of black as they zoom
through the open field. Ukis bright red hair is blinding as she
soars to the end of the Compound. I cant help but laugh when Isee Comme, her boyfriend, lagging slightly behind. He can
never win against Uki in a race duel.
Feeling a bit winded from my journey here, I glide over slowly
to Nik, who is sitting on the dirt with his legs outstretched in
front of him, watching Uki and Comme race with a grin on his
face. His eyes are warm when he turns to me.
Are we next? I ask him.
Sure are, he responds in a mischievous way. Are you up for
the challenge?
I narrow my eyes at him and he starts laughing. He puts his
hands up in surrender. Stupid question, he says.
The corners of my mouth twitch as I turn to watch Uki and
Comme drift further and further away from us. Im recognized
to be one of the fastest runners in my training unit. I also passed
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my evaluations with highest scores, being the best fighter
too. This was shocking to many, as they all thought I didnt
have it in me. They all thought Id fail. That a girl born into a
Hild family would never survive Vehem training.
My drive to prove them all wrong made me win. Made me better
than all of them.
My father asked me to go into this office before the Ceremony.
Told me theres something important he needs to tell me before
I leave. Nik looks apprehensive again, the way he did earlier in
my room. This must have been whats bothering him.
About what I wonder? I mutter.
Nik shrugs, expressionless. I dont even want to think
about it.
Niks father, the Commander, is the most vicious trainer at the
Compound. Hes relentless and cruel and condescending. Even
though Nik is doing extremely well, his father still hounds him
and beats him for not being good enough. It makes me so angry.
I stay silent and watch him. His jaw is clenched and he
keeps his eyes straight ahead toward Comme and Uki, who have
not yet returned from their duel. Theyre probably getting
intimate somewhere beyond the trees. It wouldnt surprise me.
Its their last day together anyway.
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I cant wait for it to be over Ava, Nik says with a sudden
intensity. His voice gripped with emotion. Im just so sick of
it.
My eyes instantly move to that spot along his jaw. The faint
black and blue that never seems to fade.
Here we are, able Vehem that are trained to fight and that
are graced with indescribable strength and speed. But some of us
still deal with this. Some of us are still too weak.
I know, my voice is barely audible.
Im not afraid to leave, he declares a little louder. Im
ready to go. I dont care if I never see this God-forsaken city
again. I-- His eyes meet mine and soften automatically. I can
see the thought crashing into him as quickly as it does to me.
Well never see each other again either. This bond that
weve formed. This friendship. Nik is the closest thing to family
Ive had since leaving Manilo City behind.
I smile sadly and look away. He doesnt continue.
We then hear the loud zapping sound of Uki and Comme
returning. We both rise to our feet as they arrive. They send a
gust of wind in our direction as they stop.
Are you guys ready? Uki says, bouncing on her heels.
She brushes her long hair out of her face, her cheeks are flushed
and match her blood-red lips. Comme, standing next to her,
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wraps his huge muscular arms around her and she yelps
excitedly as he picks her up.
I look questioningly at Nik, who Im sure isnt in the mood
to have a duel. We should finish our conversation.
We dont have that much time left to talk.
He doesnt look at me, and smiles his widest at the two of
them, Of course. He says, the grief on his face completely
melted away. He would never show his vulnerability to them,
even though hes known them longer.
These deep dark parts of his life he only shares with me.
I lift an eyebrow at him. Sure?
He snorts, Im ready to take on the challenge, Ava
darling.
My cheeks flush when he calls me darling. It happens
every time he does so, for no apparent reason I can give you.
Go for it, Says Comme in his deep brooding voice. Uki is
now perched on his back, her hands resting on Commes buzzed
down hair.
I wonder how they must feel, knowing that theyll be
separated for so long after today. Uki and Comme are practically
joined at the hip. Theyre also the only two, including Nik, who
are my friends here. They dont see me as an outsider as most
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Vehem do because of where Ive come from, despite even my
high ranking now.
A lump in my throat forms, as I take in my surroundings. This
familiar place I called home for the last year. These people, my
friends. I will have to say goodbye to them just like I had to say
goodbye to my family. What will come for my next transition in
life? Will I make new friends, fall in love, and then end up
saying goodbye to them too?
Is all of life going to be like this? An endless pattern of
friendships forming and disbanding?
Nik takes my arm then, his touch giving me comfort, and
leads me away from Comme and Uki. The look in his eyes tells
me that he can read these thoughts of mine. He can always sense
my sadness. Sometimes, I feel that he and I are one. When he
removes his hand from my arm, I suddenly feel cold from the
absence of his touch. I want to feel it again.
How much painful will this be when we say goodbye
tonight?
When we start our race duel, I forget it all.
*
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Frida paints up my face just as I expected her to when I make it
back into my room. Shes one of the stylists here, assigned to
me. Shes a Wick, a Veyto with the ability of enchantment. She
uses her enchantments for getting us dressed up for every specialoccasion weve had for the last year. I hate putting make-up on
my face. It feels weird and foreign, like Im wearing a mask. I
dont feel like myself, even if I have the slightest bit on.
Frida is slender and beautiful with a heavy coat of makeup on
herself. Her lips are dark purple and her eyelids are a shimmery
gold. She always looks flawless. I never envy her though.
I really dont care about looking beautiful.
Shes more annoyed than usual today since I showed up late to
my chamber where she was already waiting for a good half hour.
Nik, Comme and Uki and I spent the rest of the day having race
duels, combat matches, and lying on the ground reminiscing
everything from our year together.
When we came back to the tower, we were absolutely filthy. My
long willowy black hair was tangled beyond reason with leaves
and God knows what else in it. I was also caked in mud from a
crazy combat match that I had with Nik (which I won of course).
Frida practically shoved me into the shower, (with surprising
force) and told me that she doesnt want a single fleck of dirt on
me.
While in the shower, I scrubbed as hard as I could at my body,
and then ended up just sinking down to the floor, my knees to
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my chest and my arms gripping around them tightly. The grief
of the day came crashing down hard on me with just as much
pressure of the luio raining down on me from above. I let myself
go. I cried until there was nothing left to cry about. I cried nowso I wouldnt have to cry later.
Its time to say goodbye. Its time to move on to the next phase
of my life. I was able to be the strongest in my unit here, I can be
the strongest in my unit anywhere.
I will not forget Nik. Hes my friend. My best friend. My brother.
This is not goodbye forever. Only for a while. Distance will not
end our friendship.
Its going to be okay.
Its all going to be okay.
I promised this to myself and rose to my feet. I scrubbed away
faster when I heard Frida banging on my door and yelling for me
to hurry up.
The sky is completely black when I make it to the courtyard
outside of the assembly room. All Veytos in my unit are lined up
outside, waiting for our cue to start entering in. Everyones
friends and families are inside waiting for us to enter. Theyre
all ready to congratulate their sons and daughters for making it
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through their first year of training. Theyre all ready to say
goodbye to them, to wish them well before starting Phase 2.
I feel relieved in a way, knowing that my family is not in there. I
dont have to deal with what everyone else here I sense is
dreading: Saying goodbye to their parents. Ive already gotten
that over with.
I squint my eyes to try to find the back of Niks head from the
dozens of heads in line front of me waiting to go inside. But its
difficult, its too dark and we all wear too dark clothing. The
lanterns floating a few feet above us does not provide enough
light to make him out among the others.
Nik is glad to be leaving. He wont have any trouble saying
goodbye to his father. Hell feel relief.
Something sharp jabs me in my lower back and I jump up and
spin around. I see her. Her toothy, evil grin.
Rayu.
Shes had it out for me since day one of training. Her and her
flock of girlfriends used to make my life a living hell when I
first started out. Played mean pranks on me, like unleashing
hicos in my room. I woke to find their little slimy bodies
festering away at my flesh. I had scars for weeks and a horrible
allergic reaction.The itch was so horrible that I actually felt it
inside my bones. After that, they kept calling me Ferchy, a
racial slur typically used against the Hild.
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I remember another bully back when I lived in Manilo City. He
was a Wick who used to call me the same thing. But he never
hurt me the way Rayu and the others did. He confessed that he
secretly liked me the whole time.
I dont think Rayu likes me.
I keep glaring at Rayu, at her glassy amber eyes and her fat
nose. Shes got pounds and pounds of make-up on. I guess she
needs it. Her hair is tied up in a greasy updo. She looks
disgusting.
She turns and sniggers with her friends when she sees the look
of death Im giving her.
Is there a problem? Turn around, Werchy.
I open my mouth to spit a remark at her but I stop. I always stop.
Still, to this day, I hear my fathers voice in my head. When
you get riled up and angry, they win. When you fight back, its
what they want. Befriend the person who insults you. Love the
person that hurts you.
I clench my teeth and turn around to face the front. Im not a
Hild. I should fight back. I shouldnt believe what my father
believes.
I could snap her body in half without blinking twice.
But I cant.
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A crack of thunder suddenly vibrates the ground beneath our
feet. I flinch back automatically and peer up to the sky.
No storm clouds. Just a pitch black sky with a bright moon. The
perimeters are a blood red.
Doesnt look like a chance of rain.
A shiver runs down my spine. I shouldnt even have to wonder.
Its Zane. Its the Contain wearing off. I can feel his presence,
along with everyone else on Prothos. We feel him the way you
feel someone staring at you from across the room.
Hes waiting to return.
96 days.
Everyone around me has gone quiet. After a few moments, I see
Vehem leaders, our trainers, pacing back and forth from the
giant grey building where the assembly room is, to the end ofthe line where we are. Theyre murmuring under their breath to
one another, and I see the look of panic in some of their eyes.
Something has happened. Something theyre not telling us yet.
Something bad.
I crane my neck over the other Vehem, trying to find Nik. But I
still cant see him anywhere. I just need him to look at me
reassuringly, to silently tell me that everything is going to be
okay. I need to do the same for him if hes afraid.
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I sigh and look down to the ground. Whats the point? After
tonight we wont be able to do this. To find each other and
comfort one another.
I might as well start getting used to it.
And then, as if nothing happened at all, I hear the sound of
orchestra playing the Vehem anthem and Niks fathers voice
from a loud amplifier coming out from the assembly room.
Ladies and gentleman, let us now introduce our newly trained
Vehem! Please rise for their Phase 1 commemoration!
CHAPTER 4
James
Earth - New York City
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Theyve been knocking on the door for the past twenty minutes.
Different voices came and went, calling my name, asking if Iwas alright. Told me to come out.
He wouldnt accept my millions of apologies. Casey was still
looking at me like a monster.
I should have just left. I should have just walked out the front
door and gone straight home.
But I didnt. I locked myself up in one of the bedrooms. From
the looks of it, it looks like Janets room.
There are a lot of posters of Johnny Depp on the wall.
Definitely Janets room.
I walk over to the door and slump down against it. What the hellhappened back there? Why couldnt I keep it together? I have
never been so angry in my life. Ive never been halfas angry all
my life.
I suddenly feel sick.
I reminded myself of a lot of my father.
I pull out my phone and dial Katies number, praying that
she would pick up. I need to hear her voice, it will bring me
back at ease. I close my eyes and hear it ring over and over
again.
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But she doesnt pick up.
Casey? Are you still in there? Its Janets voice. I should
probably answer for her. I cant just hijack her room like this. I
slowly rise to my feet and unlock the door. As soon as I do, Im
in intoxicated by the scent of berry perfume and alcohol as Janet
stumbles in.
Jeez. Were you going to stay here all night? Her voice is
slurred. Shes wearing a top thats showing too much cleavage
for me not to stare down at her chest and her brown hair is
sweeping past her shoulders in dark waves. She smiles
seductively at me and I dont stop her from closing the door
behind her.
I was just leaving, I say, jamming my hands in my pockets.
She shoves me away from the door. Hard. Stay.
I really shouldnt--
Its about time you kicked the crap out of Casey. Hes been in
need of a good beating.
I glare at her. I didnt kick the crap out of anyone. I just...I just
lost my temper.
She rolls her eyes and laughs. Whatever.
I should go.
Youre staying.
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I lift my eyebrows at her. No, Im not. Im leaving.
She laughs again, that high-pitched annoying sound. I hate it
when shes drunk. I know you want to stay.
I try to hold down my own laughter as I try to keep my eyes
focused on her face. I really dont. Ill see you on Monday,
okay?
No, she says. She then hurtles her body onto mine, and
wrestles me onto the bed. I feel her soft curves on top of me and
I struggle not to wrap my arms around her and just go for it.
Ive missed this. Feeling the warmth of another person pressed
so close to me. To feel connected with someone else. To feel the
ache of loneliness recede with every touch...every kiss...
But I cant.
Katie.
And plus, whatever this is. I cant do this to Janet. It wouldnt
mean anything. In the end I would just break her heart.
Im not an animal.
Get off me Janet.
She starts kissing my neck.
Ugh, I say as I try to push her off me.
Come on, shes insistent.
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No, I say with a little more force. She stops automatically
and finally has a look into my eyes. She comes off me and steps
back. Seething.
I climb off the bed. Come on Janet. Ill see you Monday,
okay?
Casey told me you wanted to...that you wanted--
Casey told you what?
He told me that you-- She cuts herself off and shakes her
head furiously. Forget it. Youre a jerk. Get out of my room,
James.
Oh, come on, what makes me a jerk now? I ask. The
slow boil of anger starts in me again.
Part of me is telling me to comfort her. To tell her sorry for the
miscommunication and for Casey lying to her about me sayingsuch a thing. This is something I would do.
But part of me just wants to slap her for calling me a jerk.
I like you, James. She says suddenly, looking to the floor.
Her voice cracks at my name. Even through the alcohol, I can
tell this took courage.
I should tell her that I like her too, but as a friend. I should
tell her that my heart is with Katie, the beautiful blonde who left
me for Boston. I should tell her that shell find someone else
great that would be right for her.
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But I dont.
Youre pathetic. I say instead, looking her up and down.
My voice a nasty, disgusting thing that doesnt sound like me at
all.
I see the shock and hurt in her face.
And then I just leave.
*
I feel terrible after what happened with Janet. The guilt almost
swallowed me whole as I left the party. A swarm of faces,
familiar and unfamiliar called out my name, asking me where I
was going, if I was okay, if I needed a drink. They all seemed
quick to forgive my actions against Casey. It wasn't anything too
terrible anyway, was it? I didn't hurt him. If anything it just
made me look tough, more appealing.
The thought makes me sick.
I smiled good naturedly at all of them as I left, smoothing myhair back with my hands, keeping my shoulders back and
staying composed. I tried to look for Casey but I couldn't seem
to find him anywhere. I'll just call him tomorrow. He's my best
friend. Surely he'll forgive me for this.
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And Janet...
I don't know about Janet.
*
When I get home, I hear shouting from upstairs.
My Dad is home.
Jared is on the floor of the living room, asleep. He has his arms
wrapped around his knees, and his face is contorted, as if he's
having a nightmare. My heart sinks at this. He must have crept
down here because the shouting was keeping him up. He's
terrified of my father, he never even speaks to him. I flinch
when I hear something heavy thud above me and hear my
father's voice boom even louder. Cursing, swearing, it's all I
hear. He sounds like a beast. Jared wakes up from this and sits
upright right away. His eyes wide and alert, peering up to the
ceiling. He doesn't even notice me standing there.
"Jared," I say softly.
His head snaps in my direction.
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"It's okay," I whisper as I tiptoe over to him. I pick him up,
wrapping my arms around his shaky body. I then sink onto the
couch, Jared grips onto me tighter. He
nestles his head at my neck.
"James--"
"I know."
"But --"
"Shhh." I rock him back and forth. "Sleep."
He sobs silently, his tear drops drip onto my t-shirt.
I hush him again, rubbing his back.
"I hate him," he says quietly.
I want to say,No, don't hate him. He's your father Jared. He
might make you angry. But you should never say you hate him.He's not perfect.
But I don't say that.
A small furnace wells up in my chest again when I hear him call
her a "bitch".
"I hate him too," I whisper back.
*
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That night I have my first nightmare.
There's a faint light, a bright orb, coming at me from a distance.
Around it is nothing but darkness. I look down at my feet. I can't
see my body.
I hear music.
A simple melody of string instruments. I hear it like it's coming
from far away. Like I'm outside of the building from where it's
coming from.
It's a catchy tune. I recognize it. Where have I heard this before?
I hear voices. I hear laughter. The sound echoes all around me.
The sound of happiness, of joy, of celebration. It grates at my
brain. It agitates me.
I want it to stop.
I want their happiness to stop.
Now.
I growl.
The sound is a fierce, terrifying thing. It rumbles and quakes the
ground beneath my feet which I cannot see.
The laughter stops, there's silence. They've heard me.
I feel a smile form on my face. A smile of satisfaction.
They're afraid of me.
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Pain strikes my body suddenly, like sharp daggers are piercing
straight through my skin to my bones. I crouch down to the
floor. I try to cry out but I can't. I can't take the pain. It's too
much. I can't move. It pins me in place. I feel like I'm in a smallglass box of agony.
Contained.
When I wake up. I'm on my couch, with Jared asleep in my
arms.
CHAPTER 5
Ava
Prothos - Brite City
My uneasiness has not faltered at all as we make our grand
entrance into the Assembly Room. The blaring anthem fills my
ears and tries to drown out any fears or confusion from the
rumble that weve all heard just a few moments ago.
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The Assembly room is nothing short of grandiose. The walls are
made out of glass and multi-colored ornate light fixtures are
mounted from the high ceilings. I look up to see the balcony full
of smiling and cheering families. I picture just for a briefmoment, my own family smiling down at me. How different
they would appear in contrast to the Vehem around them. They
would be wearing their white lab coats, all three of them, my
mother, my father, my older brother Profin. Its all I can
remember them wearing. They spent all of their time in the
healing lab.I picture my fathers solemn face, my mothers soft smile, Profin
carefully observing the Vehem around him.
I look away from the balcony.
I wish they were here.
We are ushered into our seats. A huge stage stands before us anda blinding spotlight above it shines down over all of the Vehem
trainees. I squint and see several of the training leaders lined up
on the stage, all wearing their fancy robes, and looking a lot
more pleasant than they usually did during training. Behind
them, I notice a taller dark figure emerge from the deep purple
curtains. His strides are intimidating, frightening, and though he
is smiling, he makes my body go cold.
Commander Sider. Niks father.
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He walks over to the podium and patiently waits for the rest of
the Vehem to find their seats. The orchestra continues to play
and I hear nothing but shouts of happiness from behind me.
I havent felt this in a while. Celebration.
I wish I could feel a swell of pride, of joy. Something that we
should be feeling for having accomplished the brutal stage of
training. But I dont. I feelnothing. I dont feel a single thing
after letting it out all through my tears in the shower.
I just want this all to be over with. I want to find out where Imassigned and just go. Just face whatever the unknown is after
this already.
Im ready to face anything.
I look around me, trying to spot Nik, but I dont. Why
didnt we just meet each other before the assembly?
I let Frida go as far as she wanted with enhancing my face
this time, since it would be the last time she would ever do my
make-up. My eyelashes are twice as thick and long as they
naturally are, and she painted my lids with a shimmery pink
color. She finished off the look with making my lips a deep red.
When I looked into the mirror, the girl staring back at me was
pretty much unrecognizable to me, which is why I hated to wear
make-up in the first place.
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But some part of me liked the way I looked. I liked thatFrida smiled to herself when she saw her finished Wick make-up
job.
Something told me that I looked beautiful.
Something makes me want Nik to see me like this.
Commander Sider interrupts this sudden alarming thought
of mine.
My dear Veytos, he says, his voice booming across the
grand room. His voice is exuberant, a suitable tone for the
ceremony, but even from all the way back here from where Im
sitting, I can see something else in him. I see the darkness. The
darkness that never seems to fade from his face. The smile that
never seems to reach his eyes.
He smiled even when he saw us suffer in the training room.
The haunting memory of his dead eye smile comes to me
suddenly, sending a shiver down my spine.
The day I suffered.
I saw nothing in his eyes
I blink the thought out of mind.
The cruelty of that day made me want to be brave, made me
determined to never feel that way again.
Weak.
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I keep my head up high, as high as the others seated around
me, and I listen to Commander Sider go on and on about the
resilience that he saw in all of us for the past year.
Now if I may have your immediate attention, he says. He
takes in a sharp breath and lifts his head up towards the ceiling.
A gesture that Nik seems to have adopted from him. Theres
sudden silence in the hall after his words, anticipation lingering
in the air.
"It would be my great pleasure to announce the future
phase assignments for our newly born Vehem. Please, lets put
our hands together for a moment for them before we begin!
I bite back the sudden fire of anxiety that has formed within
me as I hear the roar of applause. I hate the fakeness that oozes
from Commander Sider. It makes me sick. The smile on his face
is not because he is proud of us. The smile on his face is there
because he feels all of our apprehension.
How I wish I could just hurt him. Hurt him for the pain that
he has caused.
But is punishment really necessary for those who have hurt
you, Ava? My mothers voice instantly comes to mind and Im
suddenly overwhelmed at the thought of her. The shame ofhaving thoughts like this. Of hating someone as much as I hate
Commander Sider. My mother would have been so disappointed
in me.
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It doesnt matter now.
When the applause dies down, Commander Sider begins
his speech.
"Each one of these young Veytos are sitting here today
because they are true Vehem. They have proved to me and the
entire training unit that they are prepared to go out into the word
and protect this world we live in. There is no greater honor in all
of Prothos. We have the gift of saving lives. Of taking other's
fears and holding them in ourselves. It is our job to fight back. It
is our job to suffer when they would instead. That is the duty of
the Vehem."
The applause is so deafening I can barely hear myself
think.
"Eighteen years ago," Sider continues, "We lost many. We
lost so many good Vehem Soldiers. We lost him to the darknessthat is Zane."
The auditorium grows quiet. As it always does when his
name is mentioned.
The mere mention of Zane causes such a stir. I can't
imagine the moment when he descends from the skies. When we
see him angrier than he was 18 years ago for having contained
him.
Can such anger be fathomable?
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"Don't be afraid my dear Veytos," Sider says comfortingly.
This tone of voice so foreign coming from his lips. "We are not
here to dwell on the past. I am not bringing this up to re-open
wounds. I speak about that time and the lives we lost to honorthem today. Honor them for their heroic deaths. The deaths that
were caused by saving lives. We have trained these young
Vehem today to honor them. If you ask any of them today to
describe their training, they will all say the same. They will all
tell you that it was the most severe and excruciating experience
they've ever had. Why? We made it that way.""It is voluntary," he says. His voice made of steam. "These
Vehem have the choice to fight for Prothos on the day he
returns. The question is, who is a true Vehem? Who is a true
Veyto who will stand up and fight for the protection of our
planet?"
The voices of the room become muted again. I don't realizeI'm holding my breath.
Would I fight? CouldI fight against the all-powerful Zane
and his army of Sanis? They are vicious, ferocious creatures
twice the size of a Veyto with blood-red eyes and knives for
teeth. I've seen video-footage of them when Zane ruled over
Prothos. They infiltrated the lands, killing as they pleased.
I would be no match for the Sanis. For Zane. Not the most
able Vehem would be.
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Our only hope is the Destruction Spell. That will destroy him
once and for all. In 96 days, Zane will need to be on Prothos'
ground, brought by the Contain Team. Then, and only then will
the Destruction Spell work, and his soul destroyed forever. Wewould not need to fight at all.
If it doesn't
"You all would not be sitting where you are if I didn't feel you
were able to make it out into the real world. If I didn't feel you
are able to protect this world. However, I cannot test what is in
the inside of you all. Cannot test where your true strength lies.
Where your bravery lies."
the assigning.
Humil City is the first area to be called. I hear fifteen
Vehems names. One of them being Rayu. Another being
Comme.
I feel a rush of emotion, thinking of Uki. They didnt get
assigned together after all. They will not see each other now.
Not for another year.
I see all fifteen of them walk gracefully up to the stage. I
cant make out Commes expression here, but his shoulders are
slouched as he makes his way there. Hes not the type to fake
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happiness. The crowd behind me continues to roar with
applause. Each of them shake Commander Siders hand and are
then ushered to the side of the stage where the tall officer of
Humil City stands. They are under his command now. He shakeseach hand ceremoniously, then each of them line up behind him.
Snowcon City is next. That is greatest city of Prothos. The city
with the highest security. The city where Zane grew up.
Finally, he calls out the names.
There will be a total of 15 that will be called.
The first three I dont recognize. Some of them I remember from
my training class. None are my friends.
And then I hear Ukis name. I can barely swallow when I see her
red fiery hair move up the aisle towards the stage. I am not
surprised that there is still a bounce to her step. I immediately
look at Comme who is standing on stage, lined up with Humil
City. I can see his mouth gaped open all the way from here.
I look away.
I hear 11 more names. I still dont hear mine.
I brace myself. One more name left.
Po Kemo, Commander Sider announces. I breathe in a sigh of
relief. A stranger.
Manilo City is next. My hometown. The poorest, dirtiest city in
Prothos. The city greatest in population next to Snowcon. It is
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where most Veytos were forced to live after Zanes destruction
18 years ago. Including my own parents, who moved from the
North when their home was destroyed. The North used to be
home to the Hild. Two major cities there consisted of them.After their refusal to heal wounded soldiers of Zanes Army
after the grisly war in which we already lost, Zane slaughtered
most of them.
My parents hid in a safe home built underground along withhundreds of other Hild. They remained down there for months.
It was only after the Contain Spell was performed that they
emerged from this tunnel in the ground.
My mother called it being blessed for having survived. Others
called them cowardly for hiding out when the rest of the world
had to suffer and fight back.
Half of the worlds population was wiped out that day. Most
Veytos my age were orphaned.
Not me. I was blessed. Just like my mother said.
I didnt even let my mind wander to the thought that I would be
sent back home to work as a Protector.
But I wonder now, if it would really happen. If I ever saw my
family again, how would they react when they saw what I
looked like now? Would they even speak to me?
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And what about my friends from my Pre-ability classes? What
would our conversations be like should I ever run into them?
Again, I dont recognize the first couple of names that are
announced.
I nervously twiddle with the long strings hanging down
from the ridiculous black robe Im wearing. I hate waiting. I
hate the anticipation.
Would I get sent back home? Will I actually get to hug my
mother again?
Nik Sider, The Commander announces with no emotion.
His tone sounds no different when he announces his sons name.
Nik. Nik is going to Manilo City. I see him rise out from
the front row. He looks terribly handsome. I cant make out his
expression as he makes his way up the stage. He shakes his
fathers hand, who gives him the same pleasant smile he gave to
everyone else who has walked the stage.
Nik.
Now I am silently begging to be sent to Manilo City.
The ache of home crashes into me alarmingly fast. The
thoughts Id been suppressing suddenly come back. The feel of
my warm bed, the long walks into the City to get to school. The
bickering with Profin. The family prayers we would have every
evening.
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I want to go home.
And if Nik is there, I wont lose him. Ill have back
everything that I feared would be lost forever.
I hold my breath as the Commander continues to call out
the names.
And then, its upon me.
And now, the final Veyto that will be sent into Manilo
City is His voice trails off. He looks at the paper and I can
see his eyebrows furrow in confusion. Almost in annoyance.
This look dissipates instantly and is replaced with that fake
smile.
And then his eyes search the large auditorium. They stop
when they land straight on me.
Ava Divine.
I start crying on the spot. It isnt voluntary. Im in disbelief.
Tears of joy are streaming down my face. I have never cried
from happiness.
Im going home.
I slowly rise out my seat and wipe away my tears, aware
that all of the Vehem are staring at me.
When I make it up to the stage, I cant help but smile when
Commander Sider shakes my hand. His gaze is cold but for the
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first time, I dont feel fear in his presence. After tonight I will
never see him again.
I see Nik then, standing behind the familiar Vehem Officer
of Manilo City that Id seen a few times when I was at home.
Hes beaming.
I cant wait to hold him after this ceremony.
There are swarms of robed Vehem to fight through to find Nik.
They're all so excited, so loud. We're all pressed too tightly
together out on the Courtyard. I hate crowds. I think I may be
the only one frowning and it seems to throw everyone off when
they get a look at my face.I should be smiling. I should be beaming. I get to go back home.
I get to spend my days back in Manilo City with Nik. I feel a
flutter in my stomach at this thought. Would Nik be the perfect
person to spend the rest of my days with? I picture the scene in
my head as I fight my way through the crowd. The day Nik and
I would be joined in matrimony. My family there, smiling at me.Thinking that my life would not get any better than this. That I
would have the people I love around me always.
This feeling confuses me. What in the name of Zane am I even
thinking? Nik is my best friend, and just because we've been
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assigned in the same city, I'm planning to spend the rest of my
life to him? For him to claim me? For he and I to be lovers?
Am I insane?
What does this mean of my feelings towards him.
Am I in love with Nik?
A cold stab of fear grips me. I try to breathe and look down at
the ground, no longer trying to break through the crowd. I just
stand there. Realizing that this is the bridge. The bridge into the
next chapter of my life.
A happier chapter of my life.
So why, in this moment, am I telling myself to be happy?
I feel arms wrap around me from behind. Startled, I jump,
feeling something hard crash at the crown of my head.
Nik stands behind me, rubbing his chin where I hit him and
grinning at me with his eyebrows raised. "When are you going
to stop being so jumpy, Ava darling?"
There it is, my cheeks flushing with heat at those words.
"Hey." Is all I can say.
He looks deep into my eyes, his smile growing wider. I hear the
words he's not saying. "We're together now. It's all going to be
alright. We're together."
I can't help but smile back.
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He leans in, his face inches away from mine, and then wraps his
arms around my waist. He hugs me tight and I feel his breathing
in my hair. "This is unreal. I can't believe--"
"I know," I finish for him. "I would have never imagined that
we'd--"
"Be happy with where we'll end up," he completes. "That my
father--"
"Would approve of this."
He pulls away, his arms still at my waist. He's no longer smiling,
his eyes are intense as he studies me with deep emotion. "Let's
go to GC."
"Right now? We need to load up our stuff from the chambers.
We don't have much time before we have to depart for Manilo."
He grins. "Home."
Warmth floods through me. "Home."
He gives me a mischievous look as his eyes move to my lips.
"We won't be long."
Nervousness makes its way into me, he grabs hold of my hand
and leads me out of the crowd.
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CHAPTER 6
James
New York CityEarth
After the nightmare, I couldnt get back to sleep. Story of my
freaking life. I really dont understand my insomnia. Maybe I
should go see a doctor. My body feels so tired. So heavy. My
eyes twitched and burned as I watched television the rest of the
night. Gone with the Wind was on, I decided to stay on thatchannel, hoping this would maybe be my remedy for falling
asleep.
I was wrong. I stayed awake throughout the whole thing. All
four and a half hours of it.
Its 7 am and Im onto cartoons when my father comes down the
stairs. Hes dressed in a suit, ready to head out for work. I takeonly a small glance of him when he enters the room, looking for
his shoes. I keep my eyes on the television screen and grip onto
Jared a little tighter, who is still asleep in my arms.
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He finally finds his shoes and sits on the couch across from me
to put them on. I feel his eyes on me as he does, but I still dont
look up. My jaw is clenched tight.
Still having troubles sleeping, son? His voice sounds tender,
almost apologetic. He knows Ive must have heard what
happened last night. That I hear what happens almost every
night. This is the first time were interacting in days. Hes never
home. I always steer clear out of his way when he is.
I grunt. What a stupid question. Im up at 7 am on a Saturday
morning with bloodshot eyes watching Tom and Jerry. Of
course Im still having sleeping problems, idiot.
My Dad clears his throat uncomfortably and finishes tying up
his shoes. There are these really great pills. Your mother has
them on the upper right shelf
I know about the pills, I cut him off, my voice sounds deadly.
He clears his throat and I know now that my tone is pissing him
off. He rises to his feet. Well, as long as you know. With that,
he leaves the room.
Later that morning, I decide to call Casey. I need smooth things
over to him, explain to him what happened last night. Why I lost
my shit last night.
I pace back and forth in my bedroom. Jared has taken over the
television downstairs, finishing up the cartoons I left on for him.
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But do I know why I lost my temper so terribly? I try to
think of an explanation, but I cant think of why I acted the way
I did. Did I just snap?
I never justsnap.
It must be just this sleep deprivation. Its putting me on
edge.
I dial his number and listen to it ring 4 times before it goes
straight to voicemail.
I sigh and collapse onto my bed. Closing my eyes. Willing
myself to fall asleep. I try counting sheep. I only get to 12 when
I hear my phone vibrate. I leap up and look at the phone. I
expect it to be Casey calling but its not.
Its Katie.
My heart swells.
Hello? I answer.
Hi.
Babe! Im so glad you called. Whats up?
You called me last night, she says drily. I joined the
Alpha Sigma sorority last night, babe.
I try not to cringe. Really? Are you supposed to wear
slutty skirts when youre in a sorority?
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Babe. You know Im wearing slutty skirt whether Im in a
sorority or not. She means it as a joke, but I know shes not
kidding, and it forms a lump in my throat. Guys over there are
most definitely noticing her.
Ha, is all I say.
I miss you, she says after some slight hesitance.
I miss you too, I say back with a sigh. Because I really
mean it. I fantasize about you during all hours of the day.
Thats gross.
I dont mean like that.
How else do you mean?
I bite back my irritation. I mean, I think about just being
with you. Seeing you.
She snorts, Okay.
You know Im not like that.
Yes, I know exactly how you are, she teases. Her voice
has that seductive flare to it now. Believe me I do.
Katie.
Yeah?
Come back, will you? I feel like shit.
She laughs. Oh, James. Still cant sleep?
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Nope. I dozed off for a minute last night. But I ended up
having this bizarre nightmare.
She doesnt respond right away, she seems distracted. Oh
yeah?
Yeah, I respond. I think its driving me crazy. Being an
insomniac. I almost killed Casey yesterday. I actually almost
pounded the crap out of him.
Oh, she says, and I know shes not really listening now.
Really?
Yeah, really. I say flatly.
Thats crazy.
I dont respond. The fire in my chest has ignited, and I
close my eyes, willing my anger to go down. Phone calls with
Katie dont happen often. I dont want to fight with her.
So what are you doing? I ask, my voice tight.
Just hanging out at my friends dorm.
Nice, that girl Sonia that you mentioned?
No, another friend I made.
Oh, I say, suspicion pulsing through my body. Who?
She sighs, Evan.
I try not to lose it. Youre in a guys dorm room right
now?
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James. Calm down, will you? Its not like that.
Really? What is it like?
Im not allowed to have any guy friends?
My voice is a deep snarl. Not when they invite you to their
dorm room.
James, were not getting into this right now. Youre acting
ridiculous.
Am I?
Yes, you are.
And you dont understand why Id be worried?
Shes yelling too. I cant believe how much you dont
trust me, James.
I hear a male voice in the background and then I hear Katiemove the phone from her ear to respond to him. I hear her soft,
flirty voice. The voice she always uses with me.
Hes just a friend. Right.
I want to trust you, I say. My voice cracking. I justI
want to be with you.
James, please. She says. You need to calm down. Call
me later. And with that, she hangs up the phone.
I stand like a statue. The phone still at my ear.
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Maybe Casey is right. Maybe she really was dying to get to
Boston.
A cold dreaded feeling pervades my body and I know. I just
know.
Shes cheating on me.
CHAPTER 7
Ava --- Insert
CHAPTER 8
James
New York CityEarth
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I tried calling Katie back countless times after our fight, but she
never responded. I cant seem to get the cloud over my head to
go away ever since. Im back in school on Monday, not
returning any of the hellos or smiles that get thrown my way.
Im really not in the freaking mood today.
Casey never called me back either, and this does nothing but
piss me off even more. Why is being such a drama queen?
I storm through the hallway to my locker and violently start
turning my combination lock.
Hey dude, I hear them approach from behind me.
Charlie and the gang. My soccer team.
I dont turn around to greet them. Sup, I say drily as I pull out
books from my locker.
They dont respond, I only hear faint snickering.
Annoyed, I finally face them. Charlie, Josh, Adam and Marty.
Theyre the gorgeous faces of North Ridge. The star athletes.
The guys you always hear coming down the hallway and cower
in fear if you fit the description of getting your face pounded.
We came a long way, from freshman year to now. I still
remember the day we all tried out for the team. I managed to
curve the ball the most impressively from the bunch.
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I can still manage to curve the ball the most impressively from
the bunch.
Finally kicked the shit out of him, I hear. Says Charlie,
leaning back against one of the lockers with a goofy grin. His
eyes are a piercing blue that he knows gets him the attention he
thinks he deserves from them. His hair is a dirty blonde and he
constantly looks from me to over my shoulder. Scanning the
hallways. Always scanning for a new girl. For him its just like
picking out a t-shirt to wear in the morning.
I dont respond and grumpily turn back to my locker. Is this
the story thats been going around? They werent at the party so
they have no idea what happened. People must be talking.
Or Casey
Is that what Casey said? I say bitterly.
No, thats not what Casey said.
I spin around again. Its Casey. He looks furious.
Charlie and the guys continue to snicker as they back away.
Casey stalks over to me.
I want to apologize. I want to tell him Im sorry for what I did.
But a part of me is angry at him for not returning my calls. Did
he already not know that I was sorry? Why is giving me the look
of death right now?
What the hell is your deal? I ask him.
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Mydeal?
Yeah, did you not receive the millions of calls I left?
I did. Thanks for being so considerate man. His voice is deepwith anger.
Do you really need me to say Im sorry?
I seriously dont care if you say youre sorry. I want to know
what the hell happened with Janet. Hes raising his voice and
were getting looks from everyone in the hallway.
Stop talking so loud.
I thought you were such a gentleman, and nowyou did
exactly what you said you wouldnt.
I lift my eyebrows. Genuinely confused. I didnt do anything.
You slept with her! And then you told her to back off!
I snort. Are you serious?
Shes telling everyone. She was crying her eyes out after you
left.
Oh, God. I say, the rage starting to build in me again. I clutch
onto my locker door tighter. What the hell are you saying, right
now?
Im telling you what shes telling everyone.
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Its not true, I say through gritted teeth. And even if it
was, why areyouso angry about it? Werentyou the one that
was tellingme to screw her brains out?
Im freakin mad because shes mad as fuck at me. She
thought I told you that she was in love with you. I didnt say shit
like that to you, did I? Why would you go ahead and tell her
something like that!
I stare at him. A long, cold hard stare.
Hes panting, waiting for my response.
I cant believe my ears. Im completely frozen, my thoughts not
processing properly.
Manilo City. Im going home.
And Nik is coming with me.
I dont know when the crying started, but I feel hot drops down
my cheeks as I slowly make myself stand up. I can barely stand
up. Its only when I start walking up to the stage that I hear the
applause, hear the faint whispering from my fellow trainees.
When I look at Commander Sider, his lips indicated that he is
smiling. His eyes are not.
I glide up the stairs and shake his hand. He holds it for a second
too long. I didnt know it would be possible to glare at someone
and beam at them at the same time.
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Congratulations, Miss Divine, he says, his voice coated with
slime. His eyes flicker over to his son for the briefest moment
before he drops my hand. When I take my place on stage, I see
Nik, who is smiling wider than Ive ever seen. I want nothingbut to run over and wrap my arms around him. I know I cant.
Not now. Well have plenty of time for that after the ceremony. I
feel a flutter in my stomach. We now have the rest of our lives
for that.
As I stand on that stage before thousands of Vehem I finally feel
something I dont think Ive ever felt. Happiness. Even if it willnot last forever. Even if Zane returns.
Right now, in this moment, I have the hope of seeing my mother
again, my brother again. I dont have to say goodbye to Nik.
In this moment, I am happy. And nothing could ever take the
memory of this moment away from me.
After the ceremony, I try to find Nik. We got separated again
after returning to our seats from the stage so that the other cities
could be assigned. I look around for him anxiously, irritated that
its been so hard to get a hold of him this entire night.
There is a huge party in celebration now that the assembly isover. Directly afterwards, we will all need to pack up our
chambers and retreat to the cities we are assigned to be for the
rest of our lives.
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The field where we used to have Lignet Combat Duels has
transformed into the most beautiful garden. I had no idea a place
that I always found so dark and intense could be turned into
something gorgeous. There are Vurses with multi-colored petalsfloating in the air around the perimeter in the most intricate
pattens. Gold beams loom above us, twinkling down luster over
the celebration. Shielding us against the dark sky and the red
moon.
My fellow trainees dance and cry and all hug each other. I know
this is the last time we could ever behave in such a way. We areno longer trainees. We will never show our display of affection
for the world to see anymore. We have one duty. The duty that
should reflect our actions at all times.
We are Protectors now. Official Vehem Protectors. We will
never be children again.
Ava!
I turn around, its Uki. Her cheeks are flushed red and she runs
over and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug.
Congratulations. I couldnt be more happy for you.
You too, Uki. I say as we pull away from each other.
Snowcon is incredible.
She smiles sadly. I know it doesnt matter that Snowcon is the
most desired city to work in. Shell be away from Comme. I
cant imagine how heartbroken she is. Speaking of Comme...
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We broke up, Uki says, her voice shaking. We did it right
before the assembly.
Oh, Uki...
We had to, right? What is the point now that well never see
each other again? I just wanted to get it over with. She takes a
deep breath and blinks fast. Her face is starting to contort and I
can see shes trying her best not to lose her composure.
Youll find someone new, Uki. I promise. I know its not the
smartest thing for me to say in this moment, but I had nothingelse to offer.
She laughs then as a tear rolls down her cheek. Im not going to
marry anyone Ava. Not anymore. I think the idea of being with
someone else is worse than being alone. A sob escapes her
throat. Without him.
I know, I say, feeling a bubble of emotion swell up inside at
the sight of her.
I was preparing myself for this too. To say my goodbye to Nik. I
swore I would never cry over him though.
They have only infiltrated on area. The cities down North.
My heart sinks. Manilo City is down North. My family is down North.
No, I say quietly under my breath. I release Niks hand and start to
fight my way through the crowd, trying to hear Sider better.
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All Vehem stationed in those cities will remain here at the Compound
tonight. The rest will retreat to your respective assigned stations. All
senior personnel will immediately make way for the Manilo and Gio
City.
No! I cry out, but my voice is drowned out.
I cant stay behind. I cant stay and wait around while those creatures
invade my home. I couldnt bear it.
I cant lose my mother. Not my mother too.
After Sider continues to hand out instructions to the personnel that will
fight tonight, everything starts blur out. I feel tears fogging my visionand I get shoved around as the Vehem around me start to retreat out
of the courtyard.
Ava! Nik calls out from behind me. I turn around and see him
struggling to make his way towards me. He goes to wrap his arms
around me but I restrain from his touch.
Stop. No, its not going to be alright, if thats what youre going to
stay. I bark.
Nik doesnt seem fazed by my brashness. Theres nothing you can
do--
Yes there is, I say backing away from him. Im going. Im going with
them.
Nik stares at me with wide eyes. Are you out of your mind? Do you
have any idea how dangerous this is? This is Zanes Army, Ava.
I know what they are, I snap. And Im not going to let them come
near her. I turn on my heel and start to make my way out along with
the crowd. Most of them are running out, Vehem turning into winds of
black as they disappear from the courtyard.
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There is no way that my father would allow this, Nik spins me around
roughly. There is no way that any of the personnel heading to Manilo
will let you tag along.
Nik and I approach one of the Sharets. A Tall uniformed Vehem
stands at the metal door, checking IDs of Vehem launching the craft.
He lifts his eyebrows when he sees me and Nik. Simultaneously, we
hold up our wrists to show to the guard.
"Is this craft launching for Manilo, or Ario?" Nik asks the guard firmly.
"You were just commenced," the guard responds flatly as he
continues to check the other Vehem who he allows to proceed.
"We have permission by the Commander." Nik says boldly. He holds
his head up higher. Boring his eyes into the guard. "We are launching
with you."
The guard stares at Nik, expressionless. He doesn't seem fazed at all
that he's the Commander's son. There is absolutely no hesitance. Hesimply shrugs his shoulders and allows us to enter the Sharet. "May
God be with you," I hear him mutter as he continues to check
everyone's wrist.
"I was wrong. They could all care less," Nik grumbles as we try to
make our way through the aisle of the crowded craft. There are rows
of two lined up against each end of the ship. Most of the seats have
already been occupied. It takes us a very long time before we actuallymake it to the end of the Sharet, where we sit uncomfortably. The
seats are too close to one another and the ceiling is too low. I feel a
loss of Primogyn, constricting in my lungs. I hate being so
claustrophobic.
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What weighs me down more than anything is knowing what awaits
when we arrive at our destination. I will see my home again. I will see
it after so long and it will not look the same.
Death, destruction. That is all that is left of my home now.
I fight back tears and close my eyes. Nik is next to me, sitting too
close. He places his hand over mine and I move it away. I don't want
to be touched.
I want nothing but to go home. To whatever's left of it. I want nothing
but to tear every one of those Sanis from limb to limb.
With a jolt, the craft starts to make flight. I feel a lightness in mystomach as I feel it getting higher and higher off the ground.
"Listen up, all aboard this craft!" A booming voice comes through the
small round speaker right above the window next to mine and Nik's
seat. "We will be landing in Manilo in less than an hour [inserttime],
into the perimeter known as Dune Forest."
Dune Forest, I think. This is where mother and I used to take walks at
night. It was always so quiet, so peaceful. The trees overshadowedabove us, covering the sky and absorbing all sounds of the city
beyond. It was our peaceful comfort zone.
"Once we touch the ground, I do not want a single word uttered from
you mouths. You will depart the craft and form ranks of three. Each of
you will be given the tracking device which will lead you to your post."
He pauses. "Some of you will fight, some of you will stand watch for
more that have been seen emerging through the forest. Thoseentering the city will be provided extra ammunition loaded in the craft."
Nik shoots me a nervous look. I know he must be terrified if one of us
were selected to fight in the city, but I don't care. I actually want to go
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straight in, where I will be able to tear every single of one of those
Sanis apart. And then run to my mother
The gross taste of old oatmeal lingers in my mouth as I wait. The room
is bright, and the surface of the table where I have my palms planted
is cold and sticky.
Two officers guard the door. One stands with his arms crossed,
chewing his gum like a cow and throwing icy glances at me every now
and then.
Shes late. My mother. Her scheduled visit was supposed to be at 8:00
AM. The clock on the wall across from me tells me she is 27 minutes
late.
I start to fiddle with the cuffs on my hands, trying to keep my breathing
even. Trying to picture my backyard, with flowers and dirt and snails.
Butterflies and dandelions. I picture my baby sister, her chubby handsand her curly soft hair. I need this vision to keep it from happening. I
need it to fill me with the happiness it once brought me. I cant let the
rage come.
I close my eyes and and clench my teeth as I hear the officers start to
talk about how theyll need to bring me back to my cell if she doesnt
come in the next ten minutes. The blood rushes to my head and Im
starting to feel it again.
I cant let it happen now. Not now. What if she shows up and sees
me? Shell re-live that whole night again. Shell look at me like a
monster again.
She wont be looking at her son.
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Because when they happen--the fits--its not me. It cant be me.
I pound my fists on the table, a roar about to escape my lips.
She cant come. Not now. Its happening. I cant see her. Not now. Not
now.
I stand up abruptly.
Hey, hey! The officers approach me.
Im going back, I growl.
One of the officers, Officer Chan, studies me with his eyes narrowed.
Shes not coming, I say through gritted teeth.
Shes late, he responds. We can wait for a few minutes longer. The
traffic has been a real bitch lately.
No, I say, closing my eyes again. I try to speak but Im starting to feel
nauseous. I feel it piling up inside of me. The rage. Its escalating. Its
happening.
I cant let her see me like this.
I feel their eyes on me.
He needs to see the medic again, that dose didnt do shit I see, I
hear Chan say, though his voice sounds far away.