BE EVERYTHINGAT ONCE
TALES OF ACARTOONIST
LADY PERSON
DAMILEE
CHRONICLE BOOKS
SAN FRANCISO
For my family
Copyright © 2018 by Dami Lee
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form
without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Lee, Dami, illustrator, author.
Title: Be everything at once : tales of a cartoonist lady person /
by Dami Lee.
Description: San Francisco : Chronicle Books, [2018]
Identifiers: LCCN 2017061274 | ISBN 9781452167657 (pbk. : alk. paper);
ISBN 9781452167701 (epub, mobi)
Subjects: LCSH: Lee, Dami. | CartoonistsÑUnited StatesÑBiographyÑ
Comic books, strips, etc. | Graphic novels.
Classification: LCC PN6727.L3797 Z46 2018 | DDC 741.5/973 [B]Ñdc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017061274
Design by Spencer Vandergrift
Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street
San Francisco, CA 94107
www.chroniclebooks.com
Introduction
Three-time Immigrant
How I Became a Cartoonist Lady Person
Literally Me
Girl in Skorts
The State of Things Now
Just Like, Some Really Powerful Life
Lessons. Damn.
Acknowledgments
5
7
30
49
69
109
139
160
CONTENTS
INTRO
5
Hello and welcome to my book! Here you
will find heartfelt stories of love and loss, like
loving tater tots so much you don't know
where the tots end and your face begins, and
losing your appetite for the actual dinner
you had reservations for because you ate too
many Tater Tots.
We'll start from the very beginning, with my
uplifting story as an immigrant child over-
coming adversity by inadvertently making
my peers cry. This same language barrier
will come back to haunt me when I return to
Korea as an adult, and realize I should have
saved some space in my brain for remember-
ing how to speak Korean instead of filling it
up with all 150 Pok�mon names.
Then it'll all come full circle when I make my
triumphant return back to the U.S., so I can
live my truth as a Cartoonist Lady Person.
There's lots of good stuff in here about the
joys of being a girl, plus some fun and flirty
dating tips ( . . . here's a freebie from me to
you: stay away from eating any hard-shelled
crustaceans on the first date).
Besides all this timeless shellfish advice, you'll
find invaluable wisdoms, all based on my real
and true experiences. These are the things
Iove learned from being good at some things
and being unbelievably horrible at others.
But how else would I have found out what I'm
okay at and what I should never, ever attempt
to do again, unless I tried?
THREE-TIMEIMMIGRANT
7
I've moved to the U.S. three times in my
lifeÑtwice with my family when I was six and
ten, and then alone at 25. Like many things
that get better with practice, you get a little
bit better at America every time. I was just a
small, confused immigrant child that didn't
speak English at first, but now look at me! A
tall, confused lady with bad posture, who only
speaks English when she feels like it.
The first two times we moved when I was
a kid were because of my dad's job, which
took us from Seoul to Texas, back to Seoul,
and then to California. And with my parents'
never-ending quest to find a house to turn
into a home, it felt like we were moving
constantly. I changed schools almost every
year and missed part of fourth grade while
I was in Korea, which I will forever use as a
convenient excuse for not knowing basic U.S.
geography.
There were lots of little things that got lost in
translation in the beginning, as well as small
misunderstandings, but I wouldn't categorize
our immigrant experience as a struggle.
Instead, I look back on those times fondly
as moments when my family was closest.
These were the times when we all lived under
one roof and watched rented VHS tapes of
Korean variety shows. We were just trying
to figure things out together, and struggled
collectively to understand the weird customs
of whichever new world we had just entered.
It's easier to pick up new languages when
you're little, but looking back, I can't imagine
how much harder it must have been for my
older brother, who was 13 when we first
moved to America. I also never really stopped
to think about the immense sacrifice my
parents made, and what a crazy privilege it
was to grow up with two cultures. Every day,
I'm grateful for the experienceÑespecially
the fact that I now possess the ability to shop
online from both American and Korean sites.
8
THE BEGINNINGThe first and only time I'd ever been on
a business class flight was when myfamily immigrated to America.
(Courtesy of my dad's company, whichwas the reason we were moving.)
You can say I acquired a taste forluxury at a very early age.
MR.BEAN, IN-FLIGHTENTERTAINMENT THAT
TRANSCENDS LANGUAGE
WHOA
I enjoyed the business class amenitiesfor six-year olds, such as a
coloring book and four entire crayons
OH HELLYEA,
GOT ALL THEPRIMARIES
9
ADJUSTING
Everything in America was on a biggerscale than we'd ever known,
even where we lived.
EVERYTHINGREALLY ISBIGGER IN TEXAS
The first time we went to Costco was alearning experience for everyone.
EVERYONEHOLD HANDS
SO WE DON'TLOSE EACH OTHER
My mom discovered frozen meals
IT'S AN ENTIREMEAL! IN A BOX!
And I found out it's really rude to gasploudly at someone's shopping cart.
SO MUCHFOOD!!
10
LEARNING ENGLISHI could rapidly feel myself shift from
thinking in Korean to English. Lookingback, I wish I had tried harder not to
let it take over completely.
They say the best way to learn alanguage is through Immersion,and boy, did I immerse myself.
Specifically with TV cartoon binge-festsand literally every Garfield book
in the library.
HA HA YOUCRAZY CAT
All this pop culture helped me pick upsome key phrases to fit In with my peers.
MONDAYS,AM I RIGHT
11
ADVICE FROM FUTURE ME
My mom used to make me doworkbooks and write in a journal so I
wouldn't forget my Korean.
CAN'T I JUST DO THISIN ENGLISH INSTEAD?
IT'D BE SO MUCHFASTER!
WHO AREYOU?!
I'M YOU FROMTHE FUTURE
JUST DO AS SHE SAYS,TRUST ME
YOU'LL THANK HERFOR IT LATER
THIS IS CALLED THE INTERNET. YOUGET TWO VERSIONS OF ITIF YOU'RE BILINGUAL
WHOA!
12
FUN AMERICAN CUSTOMS
WHEN DID YOU COMETO AMERICA?
OH, IT HASN'TBEEN LONG
THEY HAVE SUCH FUN CUSTOMSHERE, LIKE THERE'S THIS THINGCALLED THE 'TOOTH FAIRY'
JUST TELL HER TO PUT HERTOOTH UNDER HER PILLOW, ANDREPLACE IT WITH SOME MONEYWHEN SHE'S ASLEEP!
WHAT
13
FLIRTING
HEHEHEH
WHAM!
THAT JUSTMEANS HELIKE YOU!
The next day GUESS WHAT, I LIKEYOU TOO
14
WATCH AND LEARN
SCREECH, YOU IDIOT
[audiance laughs uproariously]
NOW THINKS 'IDIOT' ISA FUNNY WORD BECAUSE
THE AUDIENCE LAUGHEDHA
HA
hehheh
The next day at recess
HEY IDIOT ?!
15
POKÉMON
When I moved back to Korea inthird grade for a short stint, I had tobrush up on the Korean I'd forgotten.
PLEASE WELCOME YOURNEW CLASSMATE
ALWAYS THEAWKWARDNEW KID
Poké-mania was in full swing at the time,and I was thrilled to see something
familiar in a place that was nowforeign to me.
HEY THEY'VEGOT POKEMONHERE TOO!
Strangely enough, reading all the comicbooks and memorizing their punny
names helped me learn Korean.
MAGIKARP: IN KOREAN,WHICH MEANS KOI KING
And that's why I'm such Pokémontrash today.
16
FAKEOUT
WHO'S THAT POKÉMON?!
KANGASKHAN!
WRONG!!IT'S THREE DITTOSIN A TRENCHCOAT!!!
...
17
OPPA
Growing up as the baby of the family,I always wanted a younger sister.COME ON, I WANNA
BOSS SOMEONE AROUND NO
Instead, I had an older brother whopracticed wrestling moves on me.
OWWWSTOPPPP DO YOU
SMELL WHATTHE ROCKIS COOKIN?!
Being seven years older, my brotherlooked out for me in lots of subtle ways,like when we played games together.
Looking back, it was so nice of him tolet me win all the time!
YOU WON! SHE'S LYING DOWNTO REST BECAUSE SHE'S HAPPY
OHH
18
THE DECISIONWhen I was applying to colleges, my
parents told me not to go out-of-state.
DON'T GO!
YOU'LL BESO FAR AWAY!
Then I went to college and my parentsmoved back to Korea.
DEUCESLOL BYE
Alone in America, sometimes I'd seewomen who looked like my mom.
SHORT ASIANLADY
PERM
My heart would skip a beat until Irealized it wasn't actually her.
BOOTYCALL
UHHH
19
I didn't get to go home and see myparents very often, so I spent breaks
with friends and their parents.
DON'T HANG OUTWITH HER ANYMORE
My parents wanted me to join them inKorea after college, and I resisted
bitterly at first.
I GREW UP HERE!ALL MY FRIENDSARE HERE!
AND I DO NOTWANT TO SWITCHTO THE METRIC
SYSTEM
But I realized they were getting older,and I missed spending time with them.
Dad is sick.
Come home.
So I decided to do it.
You can imagine how confused mybrain was when I finally moved back.
M-MOMS?
20
FLYING
The 14-hour flight from America toSouth Korea is pretty brutal.
No matter how many times I fly,I never seem to get any better at it.
WHERE ISKINDLE
JENNER!!*
*My nicknamefor my Kindle
Around hour four is when I slowly losemy mind and really start getting restless.
I RELATE TOTHIS SO MUCH
WATCHING 'THE MARTIAN',A MOVIE WHERE MATTDAMON GETS STRANDEDON MARS WITHOUT WIFI
I MISSTHE
INTERNET
Someday I aspire to be on the level ofthese ladies, the experienced frequent
flyers, the MVPs of the skies.
MOISTURIZINGFACE MASK
LOADED UPWITH MOVIES
COMFYNECKPILLOW
21
RELEARNING KOREANAt first, my Korean was pretty rusty.I could barely speak on the phone
without my voice quivering.
UHH... UHH=HELLO..
I AM ...UHH BYE
SWEATINGPROFUSELY
I slowly started to pick up the language,mostly through watching K-dramas and
reading webcomics.
SCROLLSCROLL
If you want to learn a new language,I can't recommend anything better
than immersing yourself in its culture.
HEHE
And I'm lucky that Korea hasso much of it.
KIMCHISLAP!
YEAHGET HIM
SPLAT
22
USELESS IN MY MOTHERLAND
TOURISTS!! COME ON, ASK ME FOR HELP...I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH!
EXCUSE ME, DO YOU KNOW HOWTO GET TO GANGNAM STATION?
SORRY, I'M NOT SURE
NEW TOTHE CITY
ACTUALLY HASNO IDEA
23
APPAMy dad is one of the funniest
people I know.
DAILY MORNINGWAKE-UP SONGGG
BA-BA-BABABAAAAADAM-DADI-DAM-DAMI
The best part of dad jokes aren't thejokes themselves (though they can be
pretty good sometimes)
OH HERE COMESTHAT CLASSIC LINE
But that he's doing it just to see me laugh. Intentionally or not.
MERRY CHRISTMAS,YA FILTHYANIMALS
HAPPY HOLIDAYS,YOU DIRTY MAMMALS
HAHAWHAT
24
KOREA VS. AMERICA
One of the questions I was asked themost while living in Korea was:
DO YOU LIKE KOREA ORAMERICA BETTER?
I would adjust my answer dependingon who I was talking to.
KOREA ISWAAAY BETTER
KOREAN
I MISS AMERICASO MUCH, I NEEDTO GO BACK
AMERICAN
NOD
NOD
I DON'T KNOW.
CONFUSEDDUMMY
25
GYOPOA 'Gyopo' is someone who's ethnically
Korean, but was raised abroad.
OVERSIZED,EASILYMISTAKENFOR POLEON SUBWAY
Spot the Gyopo — Hint: It's me
Life in Korea got easier the more Istarted to meet people like myself.
THERE AREDOZENS OF US!
DOZENS!!
I even got to be a weekly guest on myfriend Rob's radio show at an
English-language station.
I'm not sure if anyone was listening,but still, I liked the concept—
two weirdos, broadcasting theirthoughts into the Seoul night.
26
SHOPPING IN KOREAThe first time I went shopping in Korea,
I cried because nothing fit me.
COME OUT ANDLET ME SEE
KNOCKKNOCK
I had yet to shed my Freshman 15 nor allthe Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos
I ate in America.
LET'S TRYANOTHER ONE
Also everything was made of frills andhad insane things written on them.
IT'S NOTTHAT BAD!
For a while, I just gave up completely.
I CAN TELL YOUR DAUGHTERISN'T FROM HERE
HOW DIDYOU KNOW?
27
I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LOOK SOUNINTERESTED IN SHOPPING
It took some time, but eventually Ilearned to navigate the shopping scene.
It's all a matter of digging deep andfinding what you like.
I HAVE FOUND THE SHIRT I WILL WEARFOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. THIS IS IT
When I came back to America, I foundmyself longing for Korean clothes.
WHY WON'T YOUSHIP TO THE US
Now when I go back and visit Korea,I try to stock up on all the interestingfashions I can't find in America.
WHERE DID YOUGET THAT?
KOREA
28
MINIMALIST LIFESTYLEGrowing up, we were always moving from
house to house, city to city. We moved about10 times before I left for college.
LET'S BE FRIENDS!I MOVE TOMORROW.
LOL NEVER MIND
My mom got really good at throwing awayanything we didn't need, for the sake
of an easy move.
CAN I THROW ONE OF THESEYEARBOOKS AWAY?
THERE'SFOUR OF THEM
MOM NO!!!
Even now, I can't bring muself to fully settledown anywhere, because I never know where
I'll end up next.
EH WHAT'S THEPOINT, I'M JUSTGONNA MOVE
SOON ANYWAY
I'm all about living that minimalistlifestyle, becaus-
-OK, I GET THAT, BUT YOUREALLY NEED A VACUUM.
I SAID I CAN GETBY WITHOUT ONE
SWEEP SWEEP
29
FALSE DICHOTOMY
I wasn't American enough in America.
THATGIRL IS
SUCH AFOB
And I definitely wasn't Korean enoughin Korea.
YOU SPEAK KOREANWITH AN AMERICAN
ACCENT HA HA
For the longest time, I thought that Ihad to choose between being Korean
and being American.
PFFT, NAH
OLDER,WISER
KOREAN-AMERICAN
WAIT, REALLY?
It turns out you don't really have to?You can just be your own person?
Did you guys know about this?
INTERESTING.NO ONE EVERTOLD ME
YEAH PEOPLEDON'T REALLY
TALK ABOUTIT, BUT IT'S
TRUE
30
The first comic I ever drew happened
because I was out of options.
Id always been interested in art, so in
college, I ambitiously applied to be a design
editor at my school newspaper and was
called in to do a layout test. I was in charge
of designing our high school yearbook, so I
was confident that my skills in punching up
pages with made-up quotes like ÒMarching
band is the best thing that ever happened to
me!ÑRebecca Yue, Grade 10Ó would translate
well into university-level journalism. I was
given one hour to look at the front page of
the newspaper and recreate it in InDesign.
I knew immediately that I wasnÕt going to
pass, but I still took the entire hour to fail
elaborately, and left the office drenched in
humiliation sweat.
A couple of months later, I had the reckless
nerve to reapply to the paper, this time
for an artist position. The assignment
was to draw one editorial illustration to
accompany an article, and one cartoon. If I
can be completely honest here, ÒillustratorÓ
generally sounds like a way cooler job than
Òcartoonist.Ó ÒIllustratorÓ evokes images of
a brilliant artsy-type who just has a natural
gift for layering clothes in an effortlessly
HOW I BECAME ACARTOONISTLADY PERSON
31
chic way, whereas a ÒcartoonistÓ is someone
who you have to pull aside privately to let
them know they are wearing their shorts
backwards.
Fueled by my fantasy of becoming the
former, I tried to focus more on the
illustration part of the assignment than the
cartooning part, but despite my best efforts,
the editors saw me as a backwards-shorts
person. This ended up working just fine
for me, since I had no art skills or even
Photoshop experience, just some weird jokes
in my head and ball-point pen. So I accepted
my fate, and started drawing my weekly
comic strip, which I called As Per Usual.
I kept drawing comics for about five years
after that, uploading them to the internet to
a very devoted audience of four Facebook
friends and one guy on Tumblr who probably
got lost while searching for a K-pop blog.
Cartooning was always just something IÕd
done as a hobby, yet I couldnÕt help but
daydream about what it would be like as
an actual job. And one day, that exact job
showed up in the form of an artist fellowship
at BuzzFeed.
The job description to make fun memes
and comics for the internet seemed to align
so perfectly with my experience. It was a
little spooky. I almost talked myself out of
applying, convinced BuzzFeed would never
hire a random person in South Korea for
a position in New York. Yet again, blatant
audacity made me submit an application,
and one week and a shaky Skype call later, I
had an offer.
I told my parents the exciting news.
ÒYou want to quit your job to go draw
comics in America for three months, and
after the fellowship ends, youÕll be unem-
ployed? Sounds like a solid plan, go right
ahead!!Ó Just kidding, they absolutely did not
say this. They were understandably worried,
but I convinced them that this was the
right choice for me with a well thought-out,
perfectly executed and convincing argument
(I cried and tried to look as sad as possible
whenever I was in their line of vision). I
also boldly told my dad I would Òwrite a
bookÓ out of a desperate attempt to look
like I knew what I was doing, and he totally
bought it.
32
FIRST DAY ON THE JOB
Looking back, my time at BuzzFeedfeels like a fever dream.
I CAN'TBELIVE I'MACTUALLYHERE
It had always been my dream job, onemy college experience prepared me for.
HEY YOU WANNA GOOUT TO A PARTY?
NO THANKSI GOTTA SCROLL THROUGHTUMBLER FOR 3 HOURSAND CRY
Yes, it was exactly like I imagined it.
THIS IS OUR PRODUCERJEREMY
HE'S CURRENTLY ON VACATION, SO WE'VEREPLACED HIM WITH THIS. WE CALL HIMHORSEDAD.
NEATO!!
33
CHILDHOOD DREAMSWhen I was little, I wanted to be acartoonist in the same way other kidswanted to be superheroes, or a bear.
UNAWAREOF OTHER,
BETTERPROFESSIONS
NOW CLASS, WHAT DO YOU WANTTO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
A CARTOONIST!
BATMAN! AN AIRPLANE!OH CHILDREN, BLESS YOUR HEARTS
THOSE ARE ALLEQUALLY
FAR-FETCHED
34
SKETCHY ARTISTI could never be one of those artists
who sketch drawings of strangerson the subway or at cafés.
HUG OF GRATITUDEThe pessimist in me always envisions
the worst-case scenario.
HEY!
35
YOU SPYIN'ON ME?
YOUSPYIN'
ONME?!
LET'S SEE WHAT YOUDRAW HERE...
SNATCH!
I'll stick to drawing my dog.
36
LISTS
AVOCADOBREAD
CHEESE (THEGOOD KIND)
WAIT A SEC, THIS IS MY LISTOF GROCERIES, NOT COMIC IDEAS
37
DRAWING IS HARD
ARE YOU DOING THAT THINGWHERE YOU MAKE THE FACESYOU'RE DRAWING?
NO I'M JUST TRYING TO DRAWA STRAIGHT LINE
THIS TOOK ME45 MINIUTES
38
NOT A GOOD FIT
THIS IS GOOD,BUT NOT
REALLY WHATWE WERE
GOING FOR
IT'SCOMPLETELYUNHELPFUL,ACTUALLY
LIKE... CANYOU MAKE ITA LITTLELESS ANIME?
OK FINE I GET ITI'M NOT CUT OUTTO BE A POLICESKETCH ARTIST
39
BALANCEIt's hard to balance work and play
when you have a full-time joband a DEMANDING COMICS CAREER.
WHERE ARE THOSE REPORTSI ASKED FOR!? I NEEDED
THEM BY MONDAY!
YES SIRMR.GARFIELD
SIR!!
STILL!I ALWAYS TRY TO LIVE ACCORDING TO MY
PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY, WHICH ISTATTOOED ON MY LOWER BACK.
Right now, I want to do everything Ipossibly can. There's no such thing asbalance! But also my body is breaking
down and I'm dying please help lol
PLEASE NEVERLET GO OF ME
40
WORST SUPERHERO
The Adventures ofTIME MANAGEMENT WOMAN
She works two jobs!
She remembers her friends' birthdays! She makes sure she has plenty ofscheduled leisure time!
THE SCHEDULE SAYS 2HRSOF TV TIME, I DIDN'T
MAKE THE RULES!
YESYOU DID
41
How does she do it all?
IT'SEASY!
I'M HELD TOGETHERBY SOME POPSICLE
STICKS, SCOTCHTAPE, AND TWINE
HA HASEE?
Okay then!!
I GOTTA GOCATCH UP ON MY
SHOWS!!
42
SLEEP DEBT
I'M HERE TOCOLLECT YOURSLEEP DEPT
I CAN'T SLEEP TONIGHT,I HAVE ALL THISWORK TO DO!
THEN YOU'LL HAVETO PAY IN SOME
OTHER WAY
I'LL HOLD ON TO THISAS COLLATERAL FOR NOW
The next day
THE WHAT
READY FOR THEPRESENTATION
TODAY?
43
NOTEBOOKAs an artist, I'm always being
gifted NOTEBOOKS.
OH MY, YOUSHOULDN'T
HAVE
It's a super thoughtful gift! But I haveto admit it's pretty wasted on me.
PASSABLEAS ART
ME, DRAWINGDIGITALLY
ME DRAWINGON PAPER
WHAT IS THECONCEPT OF
ANATOMY
In the future I will only be acceptingone kind of notebook gift.
THE NOTEBOOKON BLU-RAY!
OH BOY!
44
HOW TO GAIN RECOGNITION FOR YOUR WORKStep 1. Work years to
hone your craftStep 2. Send one (1) me me tweet
HA HA I TOO WOULD LIKE TO FEELLIKE I AM A PART OF SOMETHING
Step 3. Watch tweet get moreattention than your actual work
ever will
Step 4. Cry
45
SHEDDING
In nature, animals shed theirold skin in order to grow.
HEY FRIENDS
I, TOO, AM A HOLLOWSHELL OF THE PERSON
I USED BE
WHERE'SSS THENEW YOU?
YEAH, YOU'RESUPPOSED TO GROW
FROM THIS EXPERIENCE
HA HANO
46
INVESTED
I'M JUSTGONNA HAVE
THIS ONWHILE I WORK
NOBODY LIKESA SOGGYBOTTOM
*FOCUSED*'
OH NO... I'M GETTINGTOO INVESTED
...A TREMENDOUSCAKE, JUST
TREMENDOUS
- 6 hours of binge-watching later -
MARY BERRY ISA TREASUREAND WE ARE
LUCKY TOHAVE HER
47
THE CREATIVE PROCESS
WORRY
8AM
WORRY
9AM
WORRY
10AM
WORRY
11AM
WORRY
12PMWORRY
1PM
WORRY
2PM
WORRY
3PM
WORRY
4PM
WORRY
5PM
WORRY
6PM
WORRY
7PM 8PM 9PM 10PM
DONE!
11PM
YAWN
12AM
WORRY
1AM
LITERALLYME
49
My relationship with technology is fraught and
subject to the whims of whatever is happen-
ing on the internet that day. In TV sitcom
terms, itÕs a sexy Òwill-they-wonÕt-theyÓ kind
of tension. If some random jerk comments,
ÒWhy is this on my feed? This is stupidÓ
on my comic? Blocked and reported. This
relationship arc is going nowhere! A sweet,
uplifting message from a young reader? I love
the internet, letÕs get married!
As much as I like to dramatically claim
that IÕm Òquitting the internet to become a
shepherd,Ó drawing a webcomic still has its
merits. ThereÕs always someone out there
in this vast world who will respond to the
most obscure things that I think no one will
be able to connect to. Sometimes, people
relate more to my drawings than I do. Once,
someone sent me a picture of a tattoo they
got, which was inspired by one of my draw-
ingsÑa man with four eels for a head. I canÕt
say that image has any personal meaning for
me, but IÕm genuinely thrilled that it does for
someone else.
One of the internetÕs greatest strengths is
how it can remind you that youÕre never the
only person to experience anything. I once
drew a comic about wearing a traditional
hanbok as a costume for my first Halloween,
and was surprised to learn that other immi-
grants did this as well with their respective
culturesÕ clothing.
So for the most part, the internet is good and
I have enjoyed being on it. But if things ever
get too overwhelming, I still follow a handful
of farmers on Twitter to remind myself that a
shepherdÕs life isnÕt too far out of reach.
50
EVERYDAY ON THE INTERNET
IS THIS WHERE IGO TO BE MAD?
YEP, THIS ISIT!
OH BOY!
HAVEFUN!
HOW WASIT?
GREAT, I'LL BEBACK TOMORROW
51
INTROSPECTION
YOU WENT TO ARETAURANT ANDGOT SOME FOOD,WOW CONGRATS
NO ONE CARESABOUT YOUR STUPIDBABY, JARF!!
I AM AN EXTREMELY TOXICPERSON AND I SHOULD CHANGE
MY WAYS BEFORE MYNEGATIVITY CONSUMES
ME
OK THIS GUYDEFINITELY SUCKS
52
HAUL VIDEOS
If I had a YouTube channel, I would onlydo Korean grocery store hauls.
HEY GUYS! TODAY,LIKE ALL DAYS,
I'M GONNASHOW YOU
WHAT I GOTFROM H-MART!
The series would start off with a lotof promise ...
LOOK ATALL THISSTUFF!!
... but quickly devolve as I realize thatconstantly buying large quantities of
groceries is unsustainable.
TODAY I JUSTHAVE THIS, UM,
CARTOON OFSOY MILK
It would be deeply unsatisfyingto viewers.
OH HERE'S AN OLD, DRIED-UPSHRIMP CHIP I FOUND UNDERTHE TABLE, DOES THIS COUNT?
53
ALWAYS ANSWER YOUR PHONE
MY DAUGHTERISN'T ANSWERING
HER PHONE
RIIING...RIIINNG...SHE COULDBE DEAD
CHECK IF SHE'S POSTED ANYTHINGONLINE, MAYBE WE'LL FIND OUTWHERE SHE IS
OK ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBEI DON'T WANNA KNOW
SIGH
54
ONLINE SHOPPING
I am addicted to online shopping. I love spacing out my orders so Iget a well-timed gift from
past me every day.
Sometimes they'll all arrive on thesame day though.
WELLHELLO THERE
NOT YOU
HI
It's so inconvenient!!
OHH GUESSI GOTTA
TRY AGAIN...
I DESERVETHIS
55
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
SIGH
OH WOW
SO ROMANTIC
BZZT!
I AM A FOOL FOR HAVINGANY SORT OF EXPECTATIONS
56
FLÜRB, THE SOCIAL NETWORK I INVENTED TO NOT DO ANY WORK
TELL US HOW YOUCAME UP WITH THEIDEA FOR FLÜRB,THE HOTTEST NEWSOCIAL NETWORK!
THAT'S AFUNNY STORY
1 year ago AW MAN, I'M OUTOF APPS TO LOOK AT
THAT MEANSI NEED TO
STARTWORKING
OR...I COULD JUST INVENTMY OWN SOCIAL NETWORK
FLIP!
IN MY OPINION THERE AREJUST NOT ENOUGHSOCIAL NETWORKS
NODNOD
SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE
57
GOOD SHIBES
I FOUND THISAMAZINGSHIBA INUACCOUNT
EHH, I ALREADYFOLLOW LIKE3 DIFFERENT
SHIBES
WELL, THIS ONE GREETS HISOWNER WITH A ZUCCHINIEVERYCA-
OK FINE, IFOLLOWED
I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOUTHE NAME.
I FOLLOWEDIT.
58
GOLDFISH MEMORY
*BZZT*
OOH,A
TEXT!
59
SPLOOT
*SPLOOT*
CUTE BABY ANIMALSTHIS LITTLE CORGI SPLOOTS!!
THIS IS THE CUTESTTHING I HAVE
EVER SEEN
CUTE BABY ANIMALS
THIS LITTLE CORGI SPLOOTS!!
LIKE COMMENT SHARE
DEBBIE DOWNWE HE'S DOING THAT BECAUSEHE HAS A SERIOUS HEART DEFECT. THISISN'T CUTE AT ALL.
IS NOTHINGSAFE TO
ENJOY?!
60
FOOD BLOGGER
WOW WHAT A WELL-LIT, BEAUTIFULLYCOMPOSED PIECE OF FOOD
PHOTOGRAPHY
SNAP!
AWCOME
ON
61
KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE
SO SCARED TO CHECK MYBANK ACCOUNT...
SIGH
YESGOOD
62
THE ONLY DESK I NEED
...AND THIS IS OURTOP-OF-THE-LINE MODEL
ADJUSTABLE STANDING DESK
HOW LOWDOES IT GO?
WELL, IT CAN GODOWN TO REGULAR
SITTING HEIGHT
WHIRR
WHIRR
CAN IT GOANY LOWER? TECHNICALLY IT
COULD, BUT I DON'TKNOW WHY YOU'D-
I'LL TAKE IT
63
COMMUTE JAMS
TIME TO GET PUMPED FOR WORK!LET'S TURN ON THE JAMS!
HMM NEED SOMETHINGMORE UPLIFTING
UHH NEXT SO IT'SGONNA BETHAT KINDOF DAY, HUH
64
ONE-UP
UGH, LOOK AT BECKY'S FEED.SHE'S ALWAYS AT THE BEACH!
HANGING OUTIN WATERFALLS!
ALWAYS NEARA BODY OFWATER!
I'LL SHOWHER
IT'S NOT ACOMPETITION-
COMPETITION-Later: WHERE DID SHEFIND A WATER TOWER
65
REARRANGING MY MIND
Whenever I feel like I've beenstaring at a screen for too long...
AH, ANOTHERGREAT
BROWSINGSESSION
NOW TO SEETHE CONTENT
IS ANY DIFFERENTON MY
PHONE
I like to get up and do somethingphysical, just to remind myselfthat there is a world outside
of the internet.
HNNGH
STREETCH
Unfortunately, I don't know how toexercise so I've just resorted tomoving furniture around in my
apartment.
I FEEL SOALIVE!!!
66
A WELL-DESERVED BREAK
THEINTERNETIS DOWN
I GUESS SOMETIME OUTSIDECOULD DO ME
SOME GOOD
AH, SOREFRESHING
OH THATREMINDS
ME
67
THE TRAP
MAN, I HATE SOCIAL MEDIA...I'M REALLY ONLY ON THIS THINGBECAUSE LISA'S ON IT
WHAT? I'M ONLY STILLON IT BECAUSE OF YOU
HEYME TOO!
METHREE
AND SO, EVERYONEDELETED THEIR ACCOUNTS
AND WE WERE ALLMUCH BETTER OFF FOR IT.
THE END.
GIRL INSKORTS
69
Nobody ever believes me when I tell them
I was a tomboy. As the sedentary person I
am today, I too, can hardly believe that I was
once a ball of rambunctious energy con-
stantly covered in bruises. My mom always
had plans to dress me in ultra-feminine, ruffly
dresses, which would get trashed the minute
I stepped outside. So we compromised. For
much of my formative years, I wore skorts.
Many, many skorts.
The skorts always felt like a metaphor.
Girlhood is a series of endless compromises,
where girls are always having to find the line
between whatÕs expected of us and what we
really want. Like, I want to be able to keep
shopping at Forever 21, but the Lord had other
plans for me by aging me to 28.
Skorts, like women, are complex. TheyÕre
more than they appear. Though they have
the exterior look of a skirt, itÕs as if theyÕre
whispering, ÒIÕve got a secret, and the secret
is that the shorts underneath afford me a
forgiving free range of motion with my legs.Ó
Strained metaphors aside, itÕs actually a lot
of fun being a girl! You can play around with
makeup, you can film yourself playing around
with makeup, and most importantly, you can
get that sweet YouTube money from filming
yourself play around with makeup. The most
satisfying victories come from doing what
you were told you canÕt do. Personally, I
have been mostly driven by spite for all of
my achievements. You just have to find what
works for you.
70
WONDER WOMAN
I, TOO, AM ANAMAZON PRINCESS
*BOOP*
EH?
EH? AND DON'TCOME BACK
71
WHAT TO WEARThen: GOTTA GET MY FIRST
DAY OF SCHOOL OUTFITREADY SO EVERYONE
WILL KNOWI'M COOL!
THERE. THE PERFECTOUTFIT
Now: WHAT IS THE LEASTAMOUNT OF EFFORT
I CAN PUT IN AND STILLLOOK ACCEPTABLE
THIS HAS FEWER STAINS, SOI'LL GO WITH THIS ONE
72
CROP TOPS
When do we become "adults"? Is it when we stop viewing kids'clothing as potential crop tops?
Who can say?
HALF THE FABRIC,HALF THE PRICE
Who among us can truly say?
I CAN MAKE IT WORK,I SWEAR
KEEP WALKIN'
73
BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
THIS CASHMERE SWEATER IS THEPERFECT BOYFRIEND MATERIAL
HAHA
EY GURLIMMA TREATU RIGHT
74
NEVER TOO OLDTHUMP
THUMPI'M TOO OLD TO
GO IN THERE
FOREVER 21 NOW...
BUT MAYBE...
MA'AM WE'RE GOING TO HAVETO ASK YOU TO COME WITH US
THUMPA
THUMP
THUMP
THUMPFOREVER
75
AM I EVEN REAL
NYAAAM CRUMBS
BRUSH
BRUSH SPLITENDS
76
STRESS PERM
I am very prone to spontaneousdecisions fueled by emotions.
ME, AFTER ABAD BREAK-UP I NEED A
CHANGEIN MY LIFE!!
- One haircut later -
FEELIN' LIKE A NEW WOMAN- 10 seconds later -
I HAVE MADE AHUGE MISTAKE
REALIZIINGHAIR IS TOO
SHORT TO PUT UP
I already have short hair now though,so I have to get creative with my
poor life choices.
DID...DID YOUGET A PERM?
I WASSTRESSED.
77
THE DEFENSE
HOW DO YOUPLEAD? MY CLIENT
PLEADSTEMPORARY
INSATITY,YOUR HONOR
I TRIED TO CUT MY OWN BANGSTHAT MORNING. IT SEEMED LIKEA GOOD IDEA ATTHE TIME
NOT GUILTY
78
EMERGENCY
WE GOT HERE AS FASTAS WE COULD
THANK YOU ALL FOR COMINGON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.
I HAVE GATHERED YOU ALL HERE TODAYBECAUSE MY HAIR WAS ON POINT
THIS MORNING
AND IT WOULDHAVE BEEN A SHAME
IF NO ONE SAW
WHAM
79
HAIR HORROR
SWEEPSWEEP
EHEHEH
...
80
THE PERKS OF BEING OLD
I have black hair, which means it'salmost impossible to dye.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TODO WITH YOUR HAIR?
I WANT TODYE IT
PASTEL PINK
OK YOU'LL HAVE TOBLEACH IT 5 TIME
AND IT'LL COST $400
YES OF COURSEWHATEVERIT TAKES
That's why I'm weirdly jealousof old people.
DAT SILVER HAIR ...THE PERFECT BASE FORDYEING HAIR
I'm really looking forward to my hairgoing gray, so I can dye it crazy colors.
81
A MAKE-UP TUTORIAL BY ME, A WITCHHEY GUYS, TODAY I'M GOING TOHEY GUYS, TODAY I'M GOING TO
'DATE NIGHT' LOOK
FIRST YOU WANNA GET YOUR HAIR OUTOF THÈ WAY TO START WITH A CLEANCANVAS BUT ALSO TO PUT ON YOURSAFETY GOGGLES
THEN YOU'RE GONNA CONCOCT A LOVE POTIONTO MAKE YOUR DATE THINK YOU'RE COOLAND INTERESTING, EVEN THOUGH YOU
ALREADY KNOW YOU ARE
HE JUSTNEEDS A LILPUSH TO SEE
THAT
FINISH OFF WITH SOME LIGHT FOUNDATION!I USE A MINI BROOM BRUSH WHICH
DOUBLES AS TRANSPORTATION TO MY DATE
82
GYM
HEY!HEY LOOK AT YOU,
ALL SWEATY!GOMING BACK FROM
THE GYM?
I'M ACTUALLY...ON MY WAY...
TO THE GYM...
...... WUTS
DA POINT
83
GOOD KISSER
THEY SAY THAT IF YOU CAN UNWRAPA STARBURST WITH YOUR TONGUE,IT MEANS YOU'RE A GOOD KISSER
TOSS!
SLOBBERSLOBBER
TA-DA! THAT'S ABOUTALL I NEEDED
TO SEE
84
W.F.S.
I SUFFER FROM A LITTLE-KNOWNCONDITION CALLED W.F.S.
11 pm
MMM
The next morning
WHATHAPPENED?
85
Wide Face Syndrome most ruinsmy life when I take pictures.
SAYCHEESE
CHEEZ
OK LET ME
SNATCH'D!
SEE
DAFUQ??
HAS MY FACEALWAYS BEENTHIS WIDE?!?!?!?
PLEASE, FOR THELOVE OF GODLET'S FIND
A CUREFOR W.F.S.
86
MULTIVITAMINS
ALRIGHTLET'S TRYTHIS OUT
HORMPH
SMILE, BABY I LOVE ASIAN WOMEN!! A PÉNIS?I'VE GOT
ONE
VILE
87
HEY GIRL I'D LIKE TO TAKE CREDIT FOR YOUR IDEAS BY SAYING THEM SLIGHTLY LOUDERGASP
WHAT
88
MODERN HANSEL AND GRETEL
THIS FOREST IS IMPOSSIBLE,WE'RE TOTALLY LOST!
FEAR NOT, SISTER, FOR I HAVE SCATTEREDSWEETS TO GUIDE US BACK HOME
OH MY GODWHAT ARE YOU DOING
HORMPH
OH IT'S MY CHEAT DAYDON'T WORRYABOUT IT
89
BEWARE THE TIDES
HEY, YOU ALL READY FOR-... HEY?
STORM'SA-COMIN'
BOY
GASP
90
HAUNTED HOUSE
BOO
ANEM
WHERE'SMY HUG
AAAHHH
91
A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT
TAP
NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPENNOW, WHO DIES WHILELISTENING TOONE DIRECTION?
92
WHAT'S HER SECRET?
THIS WOMENS' MAG HAS A TONOF GREAT ADVICE FOR ME,A WOMAN
'STEALHERLOOK?'
'WHAT'S IN HER BAG? DOESN'TMATTER, STEAL IT!'
I DON'T GETIT, WHY DOWE HAVE TOSTEAL THINGSAWAY FROMEACHOTHER?
WAIT A MINUTE, 'STEAL HERBOYFRIEND'?
'STEAL HERIDENTITY'?!
SHHSHH
I'M YOUNOW
93
YEARBOOK MEMORIES
AWW...I WASSO CUTE BACKTHEN
NOW I'M JUST A HAGGARDOLD SCARECROW
THIS WAS ONLYTWO YEARS AGO
I DON'T WANNAHEAR IT! I'M
LATE FOR MYSHIFT
94
UNFINISHED BUSINESS
OOOOOOHH
AAH A GHOST!
EH, DON'T FREAK OUT- GHOSTS AREJUST PEOPLE WITH UNFINISHED
BUSINESS
WHAT'SYOURS?
I NEVER FINISHED WATCHINGGOSSIP GIRL.
15 hours laterWOW THIS SHOW REALLY RAN OFF THERAILS AFTER SEASON 2
I KNOW,RIGHT
95
LABELS
HEY...WHAT EXACTLY AREWE DOING HERE?
DAMI, I TOLD YOU I DON'TBELIEVE IN LABELS
NO YOU IDIOT,WHAT ARE WEDOING HERE AAAAHHH
96
K BYE
I JUST NEED SOMESPACE RIGHT NOW
IT'SNOTYOU,
IT'S ME
LISTEN
YOU'REGREAT
WE CAN STILLBE FRIENDS
97
DINING ALONE
THERE'S NO SHAMEIN EATING ALONE...
LOOK, ANOTHERSOLO DINER!COMPLETELYNORMAL!
SORRY, THERE WASA SUPER LONG WAITFOR THE BATHROOM
THANK GODYOU'RE BACK,WAS STARTINGTO FEEL LIKE AWEIRDO!
NOW WE CAN GET BACK TO RE-ENACTINGTHE SCENE FROM LADY AND THE TRAMP,
WHICH REQUIRES TWO OR MOREPEOPLE TO PULL OFF
98
HOW TO DEAL WITH HEARTBREAK
Eat your feelings.
THE ONLY MENWHO WILL NEVERLET ME DOWN
Make it annoyingly obvious somethingis wrong, but refuse to clarify.
DAMI LEE DECEBER 9WAKE ME UP
INSIDE —IN P DESPAIR
2 LIKES
CONCERNED FRIENDWHAT'S WRONG?
Throw things. Break things.
I HAVE DONENOTHING TODESERVE THIS
Cry on public transportation whilelistening to music and pretend you're in
a very sad music video.
99
Talk shit about your ex toanyone who will listen
HE DIDN'TBELIEVE INRECYCLING
Immerse yourself in new hobbies.
Immerse yourself in new hobbies.Immerse yourself in new hobbies.IN A BIG WAY
Throw away letters.Delete texts, emails, photos.
Delete everything.Start over.
100
DATING 101
Go prepared with funconversation starters!
DID YOU KNOW OPRAHAND ROGER EBERT USED
TO DATE?
OH I THINKI DID!
WELL THEN,GOOD!
THAT WAS MYONE FUNFACT
Let him in on your beauty secrest!
YOUR HANDS AREREALLY SOFT
GRAB
101
HA HA WHATTHESE OLD THINGS??
IT'S CUZ I DON'T WASH'EM THAT OFTEN !!!!!!!
Find common interests!
SO, YOU WERE ON THEBASKETBALL TEAMIN HIGH SCHOOL?
THAT'S SO FUNNYBECAUSE SPACE JAMIS MY FAVORITE
MOVIE
But don't search TOO hard for them!
WAIT, HOW DID YOUKNOW THAT? HAVEYOU BEEN ON MY
LIVEJOURNAL?
CHECKPLEASE
Keep it flirty! Don't text him backright away, make him wait!;)
OK THIS HAS BEEN ANADEQUATE LENGTH OFTIME TO WAIT
WAIT WHERE'SMY PHONE
SHIT
102
BAD FOODS TO EAT ON A FIRST DATE
Chili's baby back ribs
YOU GATTASUCK THEBONE DRY
THAT'STHEKEY
Anything that reminds you of your ex
WE USED TO COME HEREALL THE
TIME
Alaskan king crab
CRACK!
Sloppy Joes
YOU HAVE ALIL SOMETHINON YOURFACE
IS ITLOVE
PLOP
103
NOT LIKE THE OTHERS
YOU'RE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS
YOU'RE RIGHT...
I fly south for the winter
When I feel threatedI getVERYterrior
HONKKK
?I'M A GOOSE, BABY
104
SEAL THE DEALTHANKS FOR WALKING ME HOME,
I HAD A REALLY GREAT TIMETONIGNHT
METOO
WELL... THISIS ME
UHH... KISS HER
105
MARKS OF LOVE
You can usually tell when someons'sin love. It's written all over their face.
Or literally shown all over thei facewith marks of love.
OH THESEOL
THANGS?
These marks are telling of ourclosest relationships
I JUST WANT THESE MARKS TO FAEDBY THE TIME I GET TO WORK
SIGH
COME BACKTO BED, BARBE
106
I'VE GOT RECEIPTS
SO I FOUND THESELYING AROUND,AND I'VE GOT SOMEQUESTIONS FOR YOU
LIKE, MICHAEL? WHO'SMICHAEL?!
BABE, IT'S JUST ACRAFTS STOR-
OH YEAH? WELLTHEN EXPLAIN THIS
DUANE?DUANE READE?
WHAT ISWRONG WITH
YOU
107
WEEKEND GETAWAY
I'M SO TIRED TELL MEABOUT IT
SAY... WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUTA LITTL WEEKEND GETAWAY?
NO JUDGMENTS, NO RULES...JUST US
SOMEONE STOP THEM!THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!
hehheh
THE STATEOF THINGS NOW
109
Because I like to live on the edge, at least
twice a week I will come home from work,
and immediately have to start drawing, in
a race against the clock to meet a comic
deadline. This after-work crunch time
happens to be when evening in New York
aligns with daytime in Seoul. This means one
thing: my mom will undoubtedly call or send
me adorable photos of my growing baby
niece.
When I lived in Korea, I always had FOMO
looking at pictures of my friendsÕ nights out;
these days, whenever IÕm cooped up in my
apartment drawing, I get the fear that IÕm
missing out on being with my family back
home. When I look at what IÕm drawing on
my screen, there is usually something very
dumb on it, like an incredibly buff kangaroo.
But living so far away from my family has
given me a whole new appreciation for them.
It makes me wonder what kind of children
IÕll have, and what kind of mother IÕll be. Will
I be a fun, cool mom, or will I be a literal
helicopter parent? ItÕs a lot to chew on. So
these are comics about the state of things
now, in which I balance my two jobs while
daydreaming about the future, all while
saving a little time for snacks. ThereÕs always
time for snacking.
110
TIME DIFFERENCE
It can be hard living in a differentcountry from your parents.
The trickiest part is the 13-hourtime difference.
Sometimes I'll forget and accidentallytext my mom when she's asleep.
It won't matter though, becauseshe'll always respond.
WOOPS
111
WHY DO I LIVER HEREMe on a good day in New york:
CAN'T BELIEVE I LIVE HERE!THE BIGAPPLE!
NEW YAWK CIDDY BAY-BEETHE GREATEST CITY ON EARTH
Me on a bad day in New Your:
SWEET
JESUS WHY
I AM AGING AT TWICH THERATE OF A NORKAL PERSON.
112
CITY WORKOUT
NOOOOWAIT FORMEEE
HA HA NO
GRUNT GRUNT 3 WEEKS' WORTH OF LAUNDARY
WHY DO I INSIST ON CARRYINGSO MUCH STUFF ALL THE TIME
AAHMY
BACK
CONTAINSLAPTOP,TABLET,
WATER BOTTLE,MAKE-UP,
A KITCHENSINK,
THE DEADWEIGHT OF
LOSTDREAMS
113
When my company relocated,
ADULTHOOD ? SQUIRRELHOOD
it pushed my commute to over an hour.
7.30 AMNO BIG DEAL,
JUST GOTTA WAKE UP30 MINUTES EARLIER NOW!
It was harder to adjust tothen expected.
8.53 AM
SO...HUNGRY
A lot harder
DO YOU NEEDTO SIT DOWN?
thank ...you ...
Now I carry nuts and berries tosnack on in the subway so I don't
faint from hunger.
CRUNCH CRUNCH
I'm embracing my new life as a squirrel.
114
IT'S TIME
OH MY GOODNESS,LOOK AT THE
TIME! I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO EAT LUNCH DUE TO MY BUSY SCHDULE AND ADMIRABLE WORK ETHIC!
I ATE IT FOR YOU, DON'T WORRY YOU SHOULD SET UP MULTIPLETIMERS LIKE ME SO YOU
NEVER FORGET
115
OFFICE THRILLSIT TAKES 30 SECONDS TO DO, BUT ICUTTIN'IT REAL CLOSE & WAITINGUNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO DO MYEXPENSE REPORTS.
IT JUST ... IT JUST MAKES MEFEEL ALIVE, YOU KNOW?
I, TOO, LIKE TO LIVEDANGEROUSLY
I ALWAYS PLACE CUPS TOO CLOSE TOMY LAPTOP. EVEN THOUCH I HAVE APROVEN HISTORY OF KNOCKING WATERALL OVER MY DESK
OOOH
116
MOTIVATOR
UGHHH I DON'T WANNAGO TO WORK!
YOU LEFT A HALF-EATENSNICKERS BAR AT YOURDESK YESTERDAY SNIFF
117
PRETENDING NOT TO KNOW ENGLISH
Comes in handy when avoidling men
HEYBABY
WOO
UHH NEVERMIND
When ignoring authority
MA'AM YOU CAN'TGO IN THERE
When your friends make fun of you forpronouncing a word wrong because
you've only seen it in books
ENGLISH ISMY SECONDLANGUAGE,
OKAY
118
VACATION MEMORIES
WANNA HEAR ABOUTMY VACATION?
SURE
OK ONESEC!!
IS SHE GONNA MAKE USSIT THROUGH A SLIDESHOW?
WHO'S READY FOR A WALKDOWN MEMORY LANE!
119
THIS GREASE STAINIS FROM JOE'S
MEAT LOVERS PIZZA
I CAN STILL SMELL THEMEMORIES
SNIFF
OOH, AND THIS ONE'S FROM ROBERTA'SCARNE ASADA FRIES I'LL NEVER
FORGET THOSEFRIES
120
FACETIME WITH MOM
MOM! DAUGHTER! OMG I LOOK TERRIBLE
SAME, WHY DO ILOOKLIKETHIS
FIXFIX
PRIMPPRIMP
-10 minutes of primpling later -
OK WELLGOOD CHATMA
OK BYEDAUGHTER
121
ZARA RETROGRADE
I COULD USE SOMERETAIL THERAPY
LET'S SEE WHERE THENEAREST ZARA IS
AH OF COURSE! ALL THE ZARAS INMANHATTAN ARE ABOUT TO ALIGN NO WONDER I'VE BEEN
FEELING SO RESTLESS!
122
A MYSTERY
Why am I so tired
all the time It just doesn't make any sense!!!
UNTZUNTZ UNTZ
123
WHO PUT THOSE THERE
WATER...
AS I LOOK BACK ON MY LIFEWITH CERTAIN DEATH BEFORE ME,
I CAN DEFINITIVELY SAY
EATING ALL THESESALT AND VINEGAR CHIPS
WAS A MISTAKE
124
APPETITE
HEY, WE'RE GOING OUT TODINNER, DON'T SPOILYOUR APPETITE
YOU'RE NOT THEBOSS OF ME!!
DON'T YOUDO IT
DON'T YOUDARE
[CHEWS DEFIANTLY]
125
RESERVATIONS
SORRY, BUT THERE'S ABOUT A 2-HOURWAIT TONIGHT
DO YOU TAKE RESERVATIONS?ONLY FOR GROUPS
OF 6OR
MORE
WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET TOTRY THIS PLACE
BETWEEN THE TWO OF US, WEDON'T HAVE ENOUGH FRIENDS
TO EAT HERE
126
HEALTHY EATING
WHAT'S THAT? I MADE A SALAD CUZI'M TRYING TO EAT
HEALTHIER
ONE DAY I'LL BECONFIDENT ENOUGHTO WEAR A CROP TOP
IN PUBLIC
HM OK BUTWHAT'S THAT
IT WAS ONLY $¡ EXTRAFOR THE JUMBO BAG
127
FOOD FRIENDS
HA HAHEY FRIENDS!
HEE HEE
SHUN
YOU'LL ALWAYSBE A SUPERFOOD
TO ME.
128
GOLDFISH MEMORY PT.2
GOTTA KEEP THISCROISSANT SAFE
FROM BEINGSMOOSHED
I GUSS I CANKEEP IT IN MY
BAG, I'LLREMEMBER!
129
FINALLY HOME!
WA-POW!
I DON'T DESERVENICE THINGS
130
ASSUMPTIONS
SO YOU'RE KOREAN?DO YOU LIKE K-POP?
YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST ASTEREOTYPE AND IT'S REALLYRUDE OF YOU TO MAKE THAT
ASSUMPTION
OK BUT YOU'REWEARING ANEXO BACKPACK
AND A SHIRT THAT SAYS"I WOULD DIE FOR BIG BANG"
IT'S NOT EVENA QUESTION
I 100% WOULD
131
NAMING MY CHILDRENI have long held the belief that I'll be
naming my firstborn after things I like.Me in 2012:
ACTUALLY...COACHELLA WOULD BEA BEAUTIFUL NAME FOR A
BABY GIRL
WHAT IF IT'SA BOY?
THEN HE CANBE COACHELLO
WOWCOACHELLO
IS SO
GREAT
132
FUTURE MOM
Sometimes when Ipack my lunch in the moring
I'll take a bite out of my sandwichbecause I have no self-control.
I worry that I'llnever break this
habit.
I am sorry, future child.
MOM...
133
MOMMY'S SPECIAL TIME
MOMMM I NEEDHELP WITH MY HOMEWOR- SHHHH
IT'S MOMMY'SSPECIAL TIME
134
COMPETITION
MOMMY LOOKWHAT I DREW!
NOT BAD, KIDDO!
2 years later
2 years later
MOMMY LOOK
WOW THIS IS...ACTUALLY REALLY
GOOD
5 years laterMOMMY MY SKILLSARE DEVELOPING
RAPIDLY AND MAY EVENSURPASS YOURS SOON!UHH..
THAT'S KIND OF AWEIRD THING TO SAY
MOMMY I'MWINNING ALL THE
AWARDS AND TAKINGJOBS AWAY FROM YOU!
135
HONESTY
...AND THAT'S WHY THERE'SNOTHING MORE IMPORTANT
THAN HONESTY.
ALRIGHT LADIES, HERE'SFOUR CHERRY PIES
WE ONLYORDERED TWO
WHOOPS, SORRYABOUT THAT! L'LL
JUST TAKETHESE AWAY
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
136
HISTORY LESSON FOR TOMORROW'S YOUTH
HOW DID PEOPLE EVER LIVEBEFORE YELP?
WELL, THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAYTO TELL IF A RESTAURANTWAS GOOD
AND THE PLACE THATATTRACTED THE MOST PIGEONS
WAS THE TASTIEST
WOW
LET'S GO THERE!
PEOPLE THREW CRUMBS FROM THEFOOD THEY WERE EATING ON THEGROUND
137
HELICOPTER MOM
LUNCHTIME! AW MAN I LEFT MYLUNCH AT HOME
IF I KNOW MY HELICOPTERMOM, SHE'LL BE HEREANY MINUTE YOU FORGOT YOUR LUUUUUUNCH
UGH MOM YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!!
JUST LIKE,SOME REALLYPOWERFUL LIFELESSONS. DAMN.
139
People always ask why cartoon-me has an
egg on her sweater. To me, eggs are a super
inspiring example of versatility because
they can be anything they set their minds
to: scrambled, sunny-side up, poached, you
name it!
An egg doesnÕt just decide to be these things
on its own though; it needs a little guidance.
And thatÕs what this chapter is about:
guidance to help you become the best egg
you can possibly be.
As you take in these sweeping, classic
wisdoms with no apparent downsides like
ÒNever admit youÕre wrongÓ and ÒSnack like
itÕs the last time youÕll ever have nachos,Ó
remember that just reading this advice can
only get you so far. You must experience
failures on your own, and learn to stumble.
You must sit on a wall, and you must have a
great fall. ItÕs okay if your shell cracks a little
bit, because itÕs the inside that counts.
And if all else fails, donÕt sweat it too much.
Honestly, the real reason for the egg sweater
is that itÕs cute and easy to draw, so letÕs not
overthink things.
140
GET SOME RESTWhile we're asleep, our
brain cells are hard at workorganizing our thoughts
THERE, EVERYTHING IS IN ITS PLACE!
This isn't the case foreveryone, though
HEY!
THAT DOESN'T GO THERE, IDIOT
WHO YOU CALLIN'AN IDIOT?
YOU WANNAGO RIGHT NOW?
I'LL KILL YOU!!
HURKKCHRGHH
141
RECHARGE
SO GOOD SEEING YOU!LIKEWISE!
PLUG
142
IT'S OKAY TO BE ALONESometimes I like to take a day to
spend time with myself.Some of my favorite things: staying in
and listening to my favorite bops.
Going shopping for hours becauseI can take as long as I want.
I DON'T NEED THIS TRANSPARENTHAMBURGER BACKPACKBUT I ALSO DON'T NOT NEED IT
- 3 hours of crippling indecision later -
MAYBE NEXT TIME
SOMETHING SOMETHING
MOM'S SPAGHETTI
143
Going to a cafe and eavesdropping people watching.
NO! HE DIDN'T!! ...AND THEN HE WAS LIKE, "MAYBE YOU ARE."
HUH?
Getting lost in the weird part of YouTube.
It's actually really nice to be alone every once in a while.IT'S SO IMPORTANTTO BE COMFORTABLEWITH YOURSELF.
And I'm not just saying this because no one is responding to my texts.
144
REMEMBER TO STAY HYDRATEDYOU KNOW, USUALLY WHEN YOU THINKYOU'RE TIRED, IT TURNS OUT YOU'REJUST DEHYDRATED
NO! IRRITABLE AND DRY ISMY USUAL PERSONALITY
WHATEVER, JUSTDRINK THIS
OK WELL NOW I'M JUSTWELL-HYDRATED AND IRRITABLE
145
DO EVERYTHING IN MODERATION
HEY KIDS, SAILOR MERCURY HERE.HERE'S A COOL TIP: STAY IN SCHOOL!
OH!!!
SHE'S SO COOL,I WANNA BEJUST LIKE HER
CHOMP
YOUR DAUGHTERHAS MERCURYPOISONING
MERCURY...
POWER...
MAKEUP
146
MAKE YOUR OWN FUNLET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE
GREATEST GAME YOU'LL EVER PLAYYOU PLAY WITH PADDLES
FOR HANDS.
TIE TWO PING-PONG PADDLESTO THE FRONT AND BACK OFYOUR HANDS
PADDLEHANDS.
I CALL ITPING-PONG 2.
I'M GONNA GOTALK TO SOMEOTHER PEOPLE
NOW.
147
KEEP UP WITH CURRENT TRENDS
DANG, THISSONG ISA JAM!
CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE'SDISCOVERED THESE
GUYS YE-
148
DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
HAH! IS THATYOUR ONE TRICK?
HEY EVERYONE,COME CHECK OUTTHIS LAME-O
HEHEH
149
MAKE MEANINGFUL FRIENDSHIPS
In every friendship, there comes a point when you must ask The Question. It's different for everyone, but for me, the question is:
DID YOU KNOW KANGAROOS ARE JACKED AS HELL?
Their answer will determine your BEF status.YEP, AND ON THAT NOTE, CHECKOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY RIPPEDBELUGA WHALE
OHMY!
150
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
ACHOO!
BLESS YOU! HEH, THANKS
ACHOO!
BLESS YOU!
ACHOO!
BLESS YOU!
14 consecutive sneezes later
PLEASE STOPBLESSING
ME
I CAN'T
I AM TOOBLESSED NOW
151
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO
Whenever I see a wide open space my first thought is always:
THIS WOULD BEPERFECT FOR
BREAK DANCING.
Even though I have never breakdanced a day in my life. It's VERY fun to imagine though.
152
SNACK LIKE A CHAMPION
MAN, I ATE LIKE 23CHICKEN WINGS LAST NIGHT
AND DON'T EVEN GET MESTARTED ON ALL THE BEER &NACHOS I HAD!
SO YOU WENT TO A PRETTYGOOD SUPER BOWL PARTY, HUH?
THE SUPER BOWL WASYESTERDAY?
153
SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING
OH MY GODTHIS DOG IS SO
CUTE IT'S CRIMINALARREST HIM, OFFICER!
CLINK! JUSTICE IS SERVED
154
SPEND RESPONSIBLY
AW MAN,I'M BROKE
WHAT AM ISPENDING ALLMY MONEY
ON?
-Earlier that week-
I'LL GIVE YOU 5 BUCKSTO PUT THIS ENTIRE SCOOPOF ICE CREAM IN YOUR MOUTH DEAL
HA HA
YAYYY EASILY AMUSED
I DON'T GET IT. I'M A RESPONSIBLE SPENDER?
155
NEVER BACK DOWN
KEEP YOUR ATTACKS PERSONALALWAYS HOLDONTO THOSEGRUDGESYOU NEVER KNOWWHEN YOU MIGHTNEED THEM
REPEAT AFTER ME: I HAVENEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONGIN MY LIFE, EVER
I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN MY LIFE, EVER
AND THAT'S IT FOR 'HOW TODISTANCE YOUR LOVED ONES'TODAY
EXCUSE ME, BUTI THOUGHT THIS WAS'HOW TO WIN ANYARGUMENT'?
IT'S THESAME CLASS
156
STAY ORGANIZED
WHATCHAWORKING ON?
JUST PLANNINGOUT MY WEEK
THIS IS JUSTA LIST OFFOOD ANDPLACESTO EAT
157
PUT OTHERS FIRST
In both heaven and hell, you're givena long spoon. In hell, everyone is
starving because no one can get thefood up to their mouths.
Meanwhile, the people in heaven arehappy and full, using thelong spoons
to feed each other.
WOW, WHAT APOWERFUL LESSON
HNNGEURGH
158
BE WHAT YOU LOVE
MMM I LOVETATER TOTSSO MUCH
TELL MEABOUT IT!
I LOVE THEM SOMUCH I WANNA
BE THEMHMM OK
TOTS!TOTS!
TOTS!
WHAT WELP GUESS IT'STIME FOR ME TO GO
159
USE MANTRAS
Whenever I get nervous I tell myself:
THIS ISLIVING!!
BEING NERVOUS IS APART OF LIFE! YOU'REEXPERIENCINGTHE FULL SPECTRUMOF EMOTIONSYOU CAN FEELAS A HUMAN!
The Problem is, I get nervous a lot
THIS ISLIVING!!
160
Thank you to everyone who read my comics
online and encouraged me to keep making
them, you are the reason IÕm able to do
what I love. IÕd also like to take the time to
apologize to this same group of people who
follow me online for comics, but sometimes
get roped into looking at my selfies. This is a
full-package deal, I hope you understand. IÕm
eternally grateful to Stephanie, my agent and
actual angel, for turning my dream of making
a book into a reality. Pippa and Julia, my
wonderful editors who believed in my work
and made me feel like the prettiest girl at the
ball. Emily, Yooni, David, and everyone at Line
Webtoon for being my comics cheerleaders.
Summer, Jen, and Adam, for hiring me from
across the world and being the most support-
ive eggs. Jenny, my sweet angel baby girl, for
being with me on the best coast, in the best
life. Robert Joe, for being awake at all hours
to listen to me rant. Matthew, for being the
inspiration for so many of these comics (all
the good ones, I promise). And finally, thanks
to my umma and appa for being the funniest
people I know and the best parents in the
world.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
THANK YOU
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