BE EVERYTHINGAT ONCE

TALES OF ACARTOONIST

LADY PERSON

DAMILEE

CHRONICLE BOOKS

SAN FRANCISO

For my family

Copyright © 2018 by Dami Lee

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form

without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Lee, Dami, illustrator, author.

Title: Be everything at once : tales of a cartoonist lady person /

by Dami Lee.

Description: San Francisco : Chronicle Books, [2018]

Identifiers: LCCN 2017061274 | ISBN 9781452167657 (pbk. : alk. paper);

ISBN 9781452167701 (epub, mobi)

Subjects: LCSH: Lee, Dami. | CartoonistsÑUnited StatesÑBiographyÑ

Comic books, strips, etc. | Graphic novels.

Classification: LCC PN6727.L3797 Z46 2018 | DDC 741.5/973 [B]Ñdc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017061274

Design by Spencer Vandergrift

Chronicle Books LLC

680 Second Street

San Francisco, CA 94107

www.chroniclebooks.com

Introduction

Three-time Immigrant

How I Became a Cartoonist Lady Person

Literally Me

Girl in Skorts

The State of Things Now

Just Like, Some Really Powerful Life

Lessons. Damn.

Acknowledgments

5

7

30

49

69

109

139

160

CONTENTS

INTRO

5

Hello and welcome to my book! Here you

will find heartfelt stories of love and loss, like

loving tater tots so much you don't know

where the tots end and your face begins, and

losing your appetite for the actual dinner

you had reservations for because you ate too

many Tater Tots.

We'll start from the very beginning, with my

uplifting story as an immigrant child over-

coming adversity by inadvertently making

my peers cry. This same language barrier

will come back to haunt me when I return to

Korea as an adult, and realize I should have

saved some space in my brain for remember-

ing how to speak Korean instead of filling it

up with all 150 Pok�mon names.

Then it'll all come full circle when I make my

triumphant return back to the U.S., so I can

live my truth as a Cartoonist Lady Person.

There's lots of good stuff in here about the

joys of being a girl, plus some fun and flirty

dating tips ( . . . here's a freebie from me to

you: stay away from eating any hard-shelled

crustaceans on the first date).

Besides all this timeless shellfish advice, you'll

find invaluable wisdoms, all based on my real

and true experiences. These are the things

Iove learned from being good at some things

and being unbelievably horrible at others.

But how else would I have found out what I'm

okay at and what I should never, ever attempt

to do again, unless I tried?

THREE-TIMEIMMIGRANT

7

I've moved to the U.S. three times in my

lifeÑtwice with my family when I was six and

ten, and then alone at 25. Like many things

that get better with practice, you get a little

bit better at America every time. I was just a

small, confused immigrant child that didn't

speak English at first, but now look at me! A

tall, confused lady with bad posture, who only

speaks English when she feels like it.

The first two times we moved when I was

a kid were because of my dad's job, which

took us from Seoul to Texas, back to Seoul,

and then to California. And with my parents'

never-ending quest to find a house to turn

into a home, it felt like we were moving

constantly. I changed schools almost every

year and missed part of fourth grade while

I was in Korea, which I will forever use as a

convenient excuse for not knowing basic U.S.

geography.

There were lots of little things that got lost in

translation in the beginning, as well as small

misunderstandings, but I wouldn't categorize

our immigrant experience as a struggle.

Instead, I look back on those times fondly

as moments when my family was closest.

These were the times when we all lived under

one roof and watched rented VHS tapes of

Korean variety shows. We were just trying

to figure things out together, and struggled

collectively to understand the weird customs

of whichever new world we had just entered.

It's easier to pick up new languages when

you're little, but looking back, I can't imagine

how much harder it must have been for my

older brother, who was 13 when we first

moved to America. I also never really stopped

to think about the immense sacrifice my

parents made, and what a crazy privilege it

was to grow up with two cultures. Every day,

I'm grateful for the experienceÑespecially

the fact that I now possess the ability to shop

online from both American and Korean sites.

8

THE BEGINNINGThe first and only time I'd ever been on

a business class flight was when myfamily immigrated to America.

(Courtesy of my dad's company, whichwas the reason we were moving.)

You can say I acquired a taste forluxury at a very early age.

MR.BEAN, IN-FLIGHTENTERTAINMENT THAT

TRANSCENDS LANGUAGE

WHOA

I enjoyed the business class amenitiesfor six-year olds, such as a

coloring book and four entire crayons

OH HELLYEA,

GOT ALL THEPRIMARIES

9

ADJUSTING

Everything in America was on a biggerscale than we'd ever known,

even where we lived.

EVERYTHINGREALLY ISBIGGER IN TEXAS

The first time we went to Costco was alearning experience for everyone.

EVERYONEHOLD HANDS

SO WE DON'TLOSE EACH OTHER

My mom discovered frozen meals

IT'S AN ENTIREMEAL! IN A BOX!

And I found out it's really rude to gasploudly at someone's shopping cart.

SO MUCHFOOD!!

10

LEARNING ENGLISHI could rapidly feel myself shift from

thinking in Korean to English. Lookingback, I wish I had tried harder not to

let it take over completely.

They say the best way to learn alanguage is through Immersion,and boy, did I immerse myself.

Specifically with TV cartoon binge-festsand literally every Garfield book

in the library.

HA HA YOUCRAZY CAT

All this pop culture helped me pick upsome key phrases to fit In with my peers.

MONDAYS,AM I RIGHT

11

ADVICE FROM FUTURE ME

My mom used to make me doworkbooks and write in a journal so I

wouldn't forget my Korean.

CAN'T I JUST DO THISIN ENGLISH INSTEAD?

IT'D BE SO MUCHFASTER!

WHO AREYOU?!

I'M YOU FROMTHE FUTURE

JUST DO AS SHE SAYS,TRUST ME

YOU'LL THANK HERFOR IT LATER

THIS IS CALLED THE INTERNET. YOUGET TWO VERSIONS OF ITIF YOU'RE BILINGUAL

WHOA!

12

FUN AMERICAN CUSTOMS

WHEN DID YOU COMETO AMERICA?

OH, IT HASN'TBEEN LONG

THEY HAVE SUCH FUN CUSTOMSHERE, LIKE THERE'S THIS THINGCALLED THE 'TOOTH FAIRY'

JUST TELL HER TO PUT HERTOOTH UNDER HER PILLOW, ANDREPLACE IT WITH SOME MONEYWHEN SHE'S ASLEEP!

WHAT

13

FLIRTING

HEHEHEH

WHAM!

THAT JUSTMEANS HELIKE YOU!

The next day GUESS WHAT, I LIKEYOU TOO

14

WATCH AND LEARN

SCREECH, YOU IDIOT

[audiance laughs uproariously]

NOW THINKS 'IDIOT' ISA FUNNY WORD BECAUSE

THE AUDIENCE LAUGHEDHA

HA

hehheh

The next day at recess

HEY IDIOT ?!

15

POKÉMON

When I moved back to Korea inthird grade for a short stint, I had tobrush up on the Korean I'd forgotten.

PLEASE WELCOME YOURNEW CLASSMATE

ALWAYS THEAWKWARDNEW KID

Poké-mania was in full swing at the time,and I was thrilled to see something

familiar in a place that was nowforeign to me.

HEY THEY'VEGOT POKEMONHERE TOO!

Strangely enough, reading all the comicbooks and memorizing their punny

names helped me learn Korean.

MAGIKARP: IN KOREAN,WHICH MEANS KOI KING

And that's why I'm such Pokémontrash today.

16

FAKEOUT

WHO'S THAT POKÉMON?!

KANGASKHAN!

WRONG!!IT'S THREE DITTOSIN A TRENCHCOAT!!!

...

17

OPPA

Growing up as the baby of the family,I always wanted a younger sister.COME ON, I WANNA

BOSS SOMEONE AROUND NO

Instead, I had an older brother whopracticed wrestling moves on me.

OWWWSTOPPPP DO YOU

SMELL WHATTHE ROCKIS COOKIN?!

Being seven years older, my brotherlooked out for me in lots of subtle ways,like when we played games together.

Looking back, it was so nice of him tolet me win all the time!

YOU WON! SHE'S LYING DOWNTO REST BECAUSE SHE'S HAPPY

OHH

18

THE DECISIONWhen I was applying to colleges, my

parents told me not to go out-of-state.

DON'T GO!

YOU'LL BESO FAR AWAY!

Then I went to college and my parentsmoved back to Korea.

DEUCESLOL BYE

Alone in America, sometimes I'd seewomen who looked like my mom.

SHORT ASIANLADY

PERM

My heart would skip a beat until Irealized it wasn't actually her.

BOOTYCALL

UHHH

19

I didn't get to go home and see myparents very often, so I spent breaks

with friends and their parents.

DON'T HANG OUTWITH HER ANYMORE

My parents wanted me to join them inKorea after college, and I resisted

bitterly at first.

I GREW UP HERE!ALL MY FRIENDSARE HERE!

AND I DO NOTWANT TO SWITCHTO THE METRIC

SYSTEM

But I realized they were getting older,and I missed spending time with them.

Dad is sick.

Come home.

So I decided to do it.

You can imagine how confused mybrain was when I finally moved back.

M-MOMS?

20

FLYING

The 14-hour flight from America toSouth Korea is pretty brutal.

No matter how many times I fly,I never seem to get any better at it.

WHERE ISKINDLE

JENNER!!*

*My nicknamefor my Kindle

Around hour four is when I slowly losemy mind and really start getting restless.

I RELATE TOTHIS SO MUCH

WATCHING 'THE MARTIAN',A MOVIE WHERE MATTDAMON GETS STRANDEDON MARS WITHOUT WIFI

I MISSTHE

INTERNET

Someday I aspire to be on the level ofthese ladies, the experienced frequent

flyers, the MVPs of the skies.

MOISTURIZINGFACE MASK

LOADED UPWITH MOVIES

COMFYNECKPILLOW

21

RELEARNING KOREANAt first, my Korean was pretty rusty.I could barely speak on the phone

without my voice quivering.

UHH... UHH=HELLO..

I AM ...UHH BYE

SWEATINGPROFUSELY

I slowly started to pick up the language,mostly through watching K-dramas and

reading webcomics.

SCROLLSCROLL

If you want to learn a new language,I can't recommend anything better

than immersing yourself in its culture.

HEHE

And I'm lucky that Korea hasso much of it.

KIMCHISLAP!

YEAHGET HIM

SPLAT

22

USELESS IN MY MOTHERLAND

TOURISTS!! COME ON, ASK ME FOR HELP...I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH!

EXCUSE ME, DO YOU KNOW HOWTO GET TO GANGNAM STATION?

SORRY, I'M NOT SURE

NEW TOTHE CITY

ACTUALLY HASNO IDEA

23

APPAMy dad is one of the funniest

people I know.

DAILY MORNINGWAKE-UP SONGGG

BA-BA-BABABAAAAADAM-DADI-DAM-DAMI

The best part of dad jokes aren't thejokes themselves (though they can be

pretty good sometimes)

OH HERE COMESTHAT CLASSIC LINE

But that he's doing it just to see me laugh. Intentionally or not.

MERRY CHRISTMAS,YA FILTHYANIMALS

HAPPY HOLIDAYS,YOU DIRTY MAMMALS

HAHAWHAT

24

KOREA VS. AMERICA

One of the questions I was asked themost while living in Korea was:

DO YOU LIKE KOREA ORAMERICA BETTER?

I would adjust my answer dependingon who I was talking to.

KOREA ISWAAAY BETTER

KOREAN

I MISS AMERICASO MUCH, I NEEDTO GO BACK

AMERICAN

NOD

NOD

I DON'T KNOW.

CONFUSEDDUMMY

25

GYOPOA 'Gyopo' is someone who's ethnically

Korean, but was raised abroad.

OVERSIZED,EASILYMISTAKENFOR POLEON SUBWAY

Spot the Gyopo — Hint: It's me

Life in Korea got easier the more Istarted to meet people like myself.

THERE AREDOZENS OF US!

DOZENS!!

I even got to be a weekly guest on myfriend Rob's radio show at an

English-language station.

I'm not sure if anyone was listening,but still, I liked the concept—

two weirdos, broadcasting theirthoughts into the Seoul night.

26

SHOPPING IN KOREAThe first time I went shopping in Korea,

I cried because nothing fit me.

COME OUT ANDLET ME SEE

KNOCKKNOCK

I had yet to shed my Freshman 15 nor allthe Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos

I ate in America.

LET'S TRYANOTHER ONE

Also everything was made of frills andhad insane things written on them.

IT'S NOTTHAT BAD!

For a while, I just gave up completely.

I CAN TELL YOUR DAUGHTERISN'T FROM HERE

HOW DIDYOU KNOW?

27

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LOOK SOUNINTERESTED IN SHOPPING

It took some time, but eventually Ilearned to navigate the shopping scene.

It's all a matter of digging deep andfinding what you like.

I HAVE FOUND THE SHIRT I WILL WEARFOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. THIS IS IT

When I came back to America, I foundmyself longing for Korean clothes.

WHY WON'T YOUSHIP TO THE US

Now when I go back and visit Korea,I try to stock up on all the interestingfashions I can't find in America.

WHERE DID YOUGET THAT?

KOREA

28

MINIMALIST LIFESTYLEGrowing up, we were always moving from

house to house, city to city. We moved about10 times before I left for college.

LET'S BE FRIENDS!I MOVE TOMORROW.

LOL NEVER MIND

My mom got really good at throwing awayanything we didn't need, for the sake

of an easy move.

CAN I THROW ONE OF THESEYEARBOOKS AWAY?

THERE'SFOUR OF THEM

MOM NO!!!

Even now, I can't bring muself to fully settledown anywhere, because I never know where

I'll end up next.

EH WHAT'S THEPOINT, I'M JUSTGONNA MOVE

SOON ANYWAY

I'm all about living that minimalistlifestyle, becaus-

-OK, I GET THAT, BUT YOUREALLY NEED A VACUUM.

I SAID I CAN GETBY WITHOUT ONE

SWEEP SWEEP

29

FALSE DICHOTOMY

I wasn't American enough in America.

THATGIRL IS

SUCH AFOB

And I definitely wasn't Korean enoughin Korea.

YOU SPEAK KOREANWITH AN AMERICAN

ACCENT HA HA

For the longest time, I thought that Ihad to choose between being Korean

and being American.

PFFT, NAH

OLDER,WISER

KOREAN-AMERICAN

WAIT, REALLY?

It turns out you don't really have to?You can just be your own person?

Did you guys know about this?

INTERESTING.NO ONE EVERTOLD ME

YEAH PEOPLEDON'T REALLY

TALK ABOUTIT, BUT IT'S

TRUE

30

The first comic I ever drew happened

because I was out of options.

Id always been interested in art, so in

college, I ambitiously applied to be a design

editor at my school newspaper and was

called in to do a layout test. I was in charge

of designing our high school yearbook, so I

was confident that my skills in punching up

pages with made-up quotes like ÒMarching

band is the best thing that ever happened to

me!ÑRebecca Yue, Grade 10Ó would translate

well into university-level journalism. I was

given one hour to look at the front page of

the newspaper and recreate it in InDesign.

I knew immediately that I wasnÕt going to

pass, but I still took the entire hour to fail

elaborately, and left the office drenched in

humiliation sweat.

A couple of months later, I had the reckless

nerve to reapply to the paper, this time

for an artist position. The assignment

was to draw one editorial illustration to

accompany an article, and one cartoon. If I

can be completely honest here, ÒillustratorÓ

generally sounds like a way cooler job than

Òcartoonist.Ó ÒIllustratorÓ evokes images of

a brilliant artsy-type who just has a natural

gift for layering clothes in an effortlessly

HOW I BECAME ACARTOONISTLADY PERSON

31

chic way, whereas a ÒcartoonistÓ is someone

who you have to pull aside privately to let

them know they are wearing their shorts

backwards.

Fueled by my fantasy of becoming the

former, I tried to focus more on the

illustration part of the assignment than the

cartooning part, but despite my best efforts,

the editors saw me as a backwards-shorts

person. This ended up working just fine

for me, since I had no art skills or even

Photoshop experience, just some weird jokes

in my head and ball-point pen. So I accepted

my fate, and started drawing my weekly

comic strip, which I called As Per Usual.

I kept drawing comics for about five years

after that, uploading them to the internet to

a very devoted audience of four Facebook

friends and one guy on Tumblr who probably

got lost while searching for a K-pop blog.

Cartooning was always just something IÕd

done as a hobby, yet I couldnÕt help but

daydream about what it would be like as

an actual job. And one day, that exact job

showed up in the form of an artist fellowship

at BuzzFeed.

The job description to make fun memes

and comics for the internet seemed to align

so perfectly with my experience. It was a

little spooky. I almost talked myself out of

applying, convinced BuzzFeed would never

hire a random person in South Korea for

a position in New York. Yet again, blatant

audacity made me submit an application,

and one week and a shaky Skype call later, I

had an offer.

I told my parents the exciting news.

ÒYou want to quit your job to go draw

comics in America for three months, and

after the fellowship ends, youÕll be unem-

ployed? Sounds like a solid plan, go right

ahead!!Ó Just kidding, they absolutely did not

say this. They were understandably worried,

but I convinced them that this was the

right choice for me with a well thought-out,

perfectly executed and convincing argument

(I cried and tried to look as sad as possible

whenever I was in their line of vision). I

also boldly told my dad I would Òwrite a

bookÓ out of a desperate attempt to look

like I knew what I was doing, and he totally

bought it.

32

FIRST DAY ON THE JOB

Looking back, my time at BuzzFeedfeels like a fever dream.

I CAN'TBELIVE I'MACTUALLYHERE

It had always been my dream job, onemy college experience prepared me for.

HEY YOU WANNA GOOUT TO A PARTY?

NO THANKSI GOTTA SCROLL THROUGHTUMBLER FOR 3 HOURSAND CRY

Yes, it was exactly like I imagined it.

THIS IS OUR PRODUCERJEREMY

HE'S CURRENTLY ON VACATION, SO WE'VEREPLACED HIM WITH THIS. WE CALL HIMHORSEDAD.

NEATO!!

33

CHILDHOOD DREAMSWhen I was little, I wanted to be acartoonist in the same way other kidswanted to be superheroes, or a bear.

UNAWAREOF OTHER,

BETTERPROFESSIONS

NOW CLASS, WHAT DO YOU WANTTO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

A CARTOONIST!

BATMAN! AN AIRPLANE!OH CHILDREN, BLESS YOUR HEARTS

THOSE ARE ALLEQUALLY

FAR-FETCHED

34

SKETCHY ARTISTI could never be one of those artists

who sketch drawings of strangerson the subway or at cafés.

HUG OF GRATITUDEThe pessimist in me always envisions

the worst-case scenario.

HEY!

35

YOU SPYIN'ON ME?

YOUSPYIN'

ONME?!

LET'S SEE WHAT YOUDRAW HERE...

SNATCH!

I'll stick to drawing my dog.

36

LISTS

AVOCADOBREAD

CHEESE (THEGOOD KIND)

WAIT A SEC, THIS IS MY LISTOF GROCERIES, NOT COMIC IDEAS

37

DRAWING IS HARD

ARE YOU DOING THAT THINGWHERE YOU MAKE THE FACESYOU'RE DRAWING?

NO I'M JUST TRYING TO DRAWA STRAIGHT LINE

THIS TOOK ME45 MINIUTES

38

NOT A GOOD FIT

THIS IS GOOD,BUT NOT

REALLY WHATWE WERE

GOING FOR

IT'SCOMPLETELYUNHELPFUL,ACTUALLY

LIKE... CANYOU MAKE ITA LITTLELESS ANIME?

OK FINE I GET ITI'M NOT CUT OUTTO BE A POLICESKETCH ARTIST

39

BALANCEIt's hard to balance work and play

when you have a full-time joband a DEMANDING COMICS CAREER.

WHERE ARE THOSE REPORTSI ASKED FOR!? I NEEDED

THEM BY MONDAY!

YES SIRMR.GARFIELD

SIR!!

STILL!I ALWAYS TRY TO LIVE ACCORDING TO MY

PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY, WHICH ISTATTOOED ON MY LOWER BACK.

Right now, I want to do everything Ipossibly can. There's no such thing asbalance! But also my body is breaking

down and I'm dying please help lol

PLEASE NEVERLET GO OF ME

40

WORST SUPERHERO

The Adventures ofTIME MANAGEMENT WOMAN

She works two jobs!

She remembers her friends' birthdays! She makes sure she has plenty ofscheduled leisure time!

THE SCHEDULE SAYS 2HRSOF TV TIME, I DIDN'T

MAKE THE RULES!

YESYOU DID

41

How does she do it all?

IT'SEASY!

I'M HELD TOGETHERBY SOME POPSICLE

STICKS, SCOTCHTAPE, AND TWINE

HA HASEE?

Okay then!!

I GOTTA GOCATCH UP ON MY

SHOWS!!

42

SLEEP DEBT

I'M HERE TOCOLLECT YOURSLEEP DEPT

I CAN'T SLEEP TONIGHT,I HAVE ALL THISWORK TO DO!

THEN YOU'LL HAVETO PAY IN SOME

OTHER WAY

I'LL HOLD ON TO THISAS COLLATERAL FOR NOW

The next day

THE WHAT

READY FOR THEPRESENTATION

TODAY?

43

NOTEBOOKAs an artist, I'm always being

gifted NOTEBOOKS.

OH MY, YOUSHOULDN'T

HAVE

It's a super thoughtful gift! But I haveto admit it's pretty wasted on me.

PASSABLEAS ART

ME, DRAWINGDIGITALLY

ME DRAWINGON PAPER

WHAT IS THECONCEPT OF

ANATOMY

In the future I will only be acceptingone kind of notebook gift.

THE NOTEBOOKON BLU-RAY!

OH BOY!

44

HOW TO GAIN RECOGNITION FOR YOUR WORKStep 1. Work years to

hone your craftStep 2. Send one (1) me me tweet

HA HA I TOO WOULD LIKE TO FEELLIKE I AM A PART OF SOMETHING

Step 3. Watch tweet get moreattention than your actual work

ever will

Step 4. Cry

45

SHEDDING

In nature, animals shed theirold skin in order to grow.

HEY FRIENDS

I, TOO, AM A HOLLOWSHELL OF THE PERSON

I USED BE

WHERE'SSS THENEW YOU?

YEAH, YOU'RESUPPOSED TO GROW

FROM THIS EXPERIENCE

HA HANO

46

INVESTED

I'M JUSTGONNA HAVE

THIS ONWHILE I WORK

NOBODY LIKESA SOGGYBOTTOM

*FOCUSED*'

OH NO... I'M GETTINGTOO INVESTED

...A TREMENDOUSCAKE, JUST

TREMENDOUS

- 6 hours of binge-watching later -

MARY BERRY ISA TREASUREAND WE ARE

LUCKY TOHAVE HER

47

THE CREATIVE PROCESS

WORRY

8AM

WORRY

9AM

WORRY

10AM

WORRY

11AM

WORRY

12PMWORRY

1PM

WORRY

2PM

WORRY

3PM

WORRY

4PM

WORRY

5PM

WORRY

6PM

WORRY

7PM 8PM 9PM 10PM

DONE!

11PM

YAWN

12AM

WORRY

1AM

LITERALLYME

49

My relationship with technology is fraught and

subject to the whims of whatever is happen-

ing on the internet that day. In TV sitcom

terms, itÕs a sexy Òwill-they-wonÕt-theyÓ kind

of tension. If some random jerk comments,

ÒWhy is this on my feed? This is stupidÓ

on my comic? Blocked and reported. This

relationship arc is going nowhere! A sweet,

uplifting message from a young reader? I love

the internet, letÕs get married!

As much as I like to dramatically claim

that IÕm Òquitting the internet to become a

shepherd,Ó drawing a webcomic still has its

merits. ThereÕs always someone out there

in this vast world who will respond to the

most obscure things that I think no one will

be able to connect to. Sometimes, people

relate more to my drawings than I do. Once,

someone sent me a picture of a tattoo they

got, which was inspired by one of my draw-

ingsÑa man with four eels for a head. I canÕt

say that image has any personal meaning for

me, but IÕm genuinely thrilled that it does for

someone else.

One of the internetÕs greatest strengths is

how it can remind you that youÕre never the

only person to experience anything. I once

drew a comic about wearing a traditional

hanbok as a costume for my first Halloween,

and was surprised to learn that other immi-

grants did this as well with their respective

culturesÕ clothing.

So for the most part, the internet is good and

I have enjoyed being on it. But if things ever

get too overwhelming, I still follow a handful

of farmers on Twitter to remind myself that a

shepherdÕs life isnÕt too far out of reach.

50

EVERYDAY ON THE INTERNET

IS THIS WHERE IGO TO BE MAD?

YEP, THIS ISIT!

OH BOY!

HAVEFUN!

HOW WASIT?

GREAT, I'LL BEBACK TOMORROW

51

INTROSPECTION

YOU WENT TO ARETAURANT ANDGOT SOME FOOD,WOW CONGRATS

NO ONE CARESABOUT YOUR STUPIDBABY, JARF!!

I AM AN EXTREMELY TOXICPERSON AND I SHOULD CHANGE

MY WAYS BEFORE MYNEGATIVITY CONSUMES

ME

OK THIS GUYDEFINITELY SUCKS

52

HAUL VIDEOS

If I had a YouTube channel, I would onlydo Korean grocery store hauls.

HEY GUYS! TODAY,LIKE ALL DAYS,

I'M GONNASHOW YOU

WHAT I GOTFROM H-MART!

The series would start off with a lotof promise ...

LOOK ATALL THISSTUFF!!

... but quickly devolve as I realize thatconstantly buying large quantities of

groceries is unsustainable.

TODAY I JUSTHAVE THIS, UM,

CARTOON OFSOY MILK

It would be deeply unsatisfyingto viewers.

OH HERE'S AN OLD, DRIED-UPSHRIMP CHIP I FOUND UNDERTHE TABLE, DOES THIS COUNT?

53

ALWAYS ANSWER YOUR PHONE

MY DAUGHTERISN'T ANSWERING

HER PHONE

RIIING...RIIINNG...SHE COULDBE DEAD

CHECK IF SHE'S POSTED ANYTHINGONLINE, MAYBE WE'LL FIND OUTWHERE SHE IS

OK ON SECOND THOUGHT, MAYBEI DON'T WANNA KNOW

SIGH

54

ONLINE SHOPPING

I am addicted to online shopping. I love spacing out my orders so Iget a well-timed gift from

past me every day.

Sometimes they'll all arrive on thesame day though.

WELLHELLO THERE

NOT YOU

HI

It's so inconvenient!!

OHH GUESSI GOTTA

TRY AGAIN...

I DESERVETHIS

55

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

SIGH

OH WOW

SO ROMANTIC

BZZT!

I AM A FOOL FOR HAVINGANY SORT OF EXPECTATIONS

56

FLÜRB, THE SOCIAL NETWORK I INVENTED TO NOT DO ANY WORK

TELL US HOW YOUCAME UP WITH THEIDEA FOR FLÜRB,THE HOTTEST NEWSOCIAL NETWORK!

THAT'S AFUNNY STORY

1 year ago AW MAN, I'M OUTOF APPS TO LOOK AT

THAT MEANSI NEED TO

STARTWORKING

OR...I COULD JUST INVENTMY OWN SOCIAL NETWORK

FLIP!

IN MY OPINION THERE AREJUST NOT ENOUGHSOCIAL NETWORKS

NODNOD

SCRIBBLE SCRIBBLE

57

GOOD SHIBES

I FOUND THISAMAZINGSHIBA INUACCOUNT

EHH, I ALREADYFOLLOW LIKE3 DIFFERENT

SHIBES

WELL, THIS ONE GREETS HISOWNER WITH A ZUCCHINIEVERYCA-

OK FINE, IFOLLOWED

I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOUTHE NAME.

I FOLLOWEDIT.

58

GOLDFISH MEMORY

*BZZT*

OOH,A

TEXT!

59

SPLOOT

*SPLOOT*

CUTE BABY ANIMALSTHIS LITTLE CORGI SPLOOTS!!

THIS IS THE CUTESTTHING I HAVE

EVER SEEN

CUTE BABY ANIMALS

THIS LITTLE CORGI SPLOOTS!!

LIKE COMMENT SHARE

DEBBIE DOWNWE HE'S DOING THAT BECAUSEHE HAS A SERIOUS HEART DEFECT. THISISN'T CUTE AT ALL.

IS NOTHINGSAFE TO

ENJOY?!

60

FOOD BLOGGER

WOW WHAT A WELL-LIT, BEAUTIFULLYCOMPOSED PIECE OF FOOD

PHOTOGRAPHY

SNAP!

AWCOME

ON

61

KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE

SO SCARED TO CHECK MYBANK ACCOUNT...

SIGH

YESGOOD

62

THE ONLY DESK I NEED

...AND THIS IS OURTOP-OF-THE-LINE MODEL

ADJUSTABLE STANDING DESK

HOW LOWDOES IT GO?

WELL, IT CAN GODOWN TO REGULAR

SITTING HEIGHT

WHIRR

WHIRR

CAN IT GOANY LOWER? TECHNICALLY IT

COULD, BUT I DON'TKNOW WHY YOU'D-

I'LL TAKE IT

63

COMMUTE JAMS

TIME TO GET PUMPED FOR WORK!LET'S TURN ON THE JAMS!

HMM NEED SOMETHINGMORE UPLIFTING

UHH NEXT SO IT'SGONNA BETHAT KINDOF DAY, HUH

64

ONE-UP

UGH, LOOK AT BECKY'S FEED.SHE'S ALWAYS AT THE BEACH!

HANGING OUTIN WATERFALLS!

ALWAYS NEARA BODY OFWATER!

I'LL SHOWHER

IT'S NOT ACOMPETITION-

COMPETITION-Later: WHERE DID SHEFIND A WATER TOWER

65

REARRANGING MY MIND

Whenever I feel like I've beenstaring at a screen for too long...

AH, ANOTHERGREAT

BROWSINGSESSION

NOW TO SEETHE CONTENT

IS ANY DIFFERENTON MY

PHONE

I like to get up and do somethingphysical, just to remind myselfthat there is a world outside

of the internet.

HNNGH

STREETCH

Unfortunately, I don't know how toexercise so I've just resorted tomoving furniture around in my

apartment.

I FEEL SOALIVE!!!

66

A WELL-DESERVED BREAK

THEINTERNETIS DOWN

I GUESS SOMETIME OUTSIDECOULD DO ME

SOME GOOD

AH, SOREFRESHING

OH THATREMINDS

ME

67

THE TRAP

MAN, I HATE SOCIAL MEDIA...I'M REALLY ONLY ON THIS THINGBECAUSE LISA'S ON IT

WHAT? I'M ONLY STILLON IT BECAUSE OF YOU

HEYME TOO!

METHREE

AND SO, EVERYONEDELETED THEIR ACCOUNTS

AND WE WERE ALLMUCH BETTER OFF FOR IT.

THE END.

GIRL INSKORTS

69

Nobody ever believes me when I tell them

I was a tomboy. As the sedentary person I

am today, I too, can hardly believe that I was

once a ball of rambunctious energy con-

stantly covered in bruises. My mom always

had plans to dress me in ultra-feminine, ruffly

dresses, which would get trashed the minute

I stepped outside. So we compromised. For

much of my formative years, I wore skorts.

Many, many skorts.

The skorts always felt like a metaphor.

Girlhood is a series of endless compromises,

where girls are always having to find the line

between whatÕs expected of us and what we

really want. Like, I want to be able to keep

shopping at Forever 21, but the Lord had other

plans for me by aging me to 28.

Skorts, like women, are complex. TheyÕre

more than they appear. Though they have

the exterior look of a skirt, itÕs as if theyÕre

whispering, ÒIÕve got a secret, and the secret

is that the shorts underneath afford me a

forgiving free range of motion with my legs.Ó

Strained metaphors aside, itÕs actually a lot

of fun being a girl! You can play around with

makeup, you can film yourself playing around

with makeup, and most importantly, you can

get that sweet YouTube money from filming

yourself play around with makeup. The most

satisfying victories come from doing what

you were told you canÕt do. Personally, I

have been mostly driven by spite for all of

my achievements. You just have to find what

works for you.

70

WONDER WOMAN

I, TOO, AM ANAMAZON PRINCESS

*BOOP*

EH?

EH? AND DON'TCOME BACK

71

WHAT TO WEARThen: GOTTA GET MY FIRST

DAY OF SCHOOL OUTFITREADY SO EVERYONE

WILL KNOWI'M COOL!

THERE. THE PERFECTOUTFIT

Now: WHAT IS THE LEASTAMOUNT OF EFFORT

I CAN PUT IN AND STILLLOOK ACCEPTABLE

THIS HAS FEWER STAINS, SOI'LL GO WITH THIS ONE

72

CROP TOPS

When do we become "adults"? Is it when we stop viewing kids'clothing as potential crop tops?

Who can say?

HALF THE FABRIC,HALF THE PRICE

Who among us can truly say?

I CAN MAKE IT WORK,I SWEAR

KEEP WALKIN'

73

BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

THIS CASHMERE SWEATER IS THEPERFECT BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

HAHA

EY GURLIMMA TREATU RIGHT

74

NEVER TOO OLDTHUMP

THUMPI'M TOO OLD TO

GO IN THERE

FOREVER 21 NOW...

BUT MAYBE...

MA'AM WE'RE GOING TO HAVETO ASK YOU TO COME WITH US

THUMPA

THUMP

THUMP

THUMPFOREVER

75

AM I EVEN REAL

NYAAAM CRUMBS

BRUSH

BRUSH SPLITENDS

76

STRESS PERM

I am very prone to spontaneousdecisions fueled by emotions.

ME, AFTER ABAD BREAK-UP I NEED A

CHANGEIN MY LIFE!!

- One haircut later -

FEELIN' LIKE A NEW WOMAN- 10 seconds later -

I HAVE MADE AHUGE MISTAKE

REALIZIINGHAIR IS TOO

SHORT TO PUT UP

I already have short hair now though,so I have to get creative with my

poor life choices.

DID...DID YOUGET A PERM?

I WASSTRESSED.

77

THE DEFENSE

HOW DO YOUPLEAD? MY CLIENT

PLEADSTEMPORARY

INSATITY,YOUR HONOR

I TRIED TO CUT MY OWN BANGSTHAT MORNING. IT SEEMED LIKEA GOOD IDEA ATTHE TIME

NOT GUILTY

78

EMERGENCY

WE GOT HERE AS FASTAS WE COULD

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMINGON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

I HAVE GATHERED YOU ALL HERE TODAYBECAUSE MY HAIR WAS ON POINT

THIS MORNING

AND IT WOULDHAVE BEEN A SHAME

IF NO ONE SAW

WHAM

79

HAIR HORROR

SWEEPSWEEP

EHEHEH

...

80

THE PERKS OF BEING OLD

I have black hair, which means it'salmost impossible to dye.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TODO WITH YOUR HAIR?

I WANT TODYE IT

PASTEL PINK

OK YOU'LL HAVE TOBLEACH IT 5 TIME

AND IT'LL COST $400

YES OF COURSEWHATEVERIT TAKES

That's why I'm weirdly jealousof old people.

DAT SILVER HAIR ...THE PERFECT BASE FORDYEING HAIR

I'm really looking forward to my hairgoing gray, so I can dye it crazy colors.

81

A MAKE-UP TUTORIAL BY ME, A WITCHHEY GUYS, TODAY I'M GOING TOHEY GUYS, TODAY I'M GOING TO

'DATE NIGHT' LOOK

FIRST YOU WANNA GET YOUR HAIR OUTOF THÈ WAY TO START WITH A CLEANCANVAS BUT ALSO TO PUT ON YOURSAFETY GOGGLES

THEN YOU'RE GONNA CONCOCT A LOVE POTIONTO MAKE YOUR DATE THINK YOU'RE COOLAND INTERESTING, EVEN THOUGH YOU

ALREADY KNOW YOU ARE

HE JUSTNEEDS A LILPUSH TO SEE

THAT

FINISH OFF WITH SOME LIGHT FOUNDATION!I USE A MINI BROOM BRUSH WHICH

DOUBLES AS TRANSPORTATION TO MY DATE

82

GYM

HEY!HEY LOOK AT YOU,

ALL SWEATY!GOMING BACK FROM

THE GYM?

I'M ACTUALLY...ON MY WAY...

TO THE GYM...

...... WUTS

DA POINT

83

GOOD KISSER

THEY SAY THAT IF YOU CAN UNWRAPA STARBURST WITH YOUR TONGUE,IT MEANS YOU'RE A GOOD KISSER

TOSS!

SLOBBERSLOBBER

TA-DA! THAT'S ABOUTALL I NEEDED

TO SEE

84

W.F.S.

I SUFFER FROM A LITTLE-KNOWNCONDITION CALLED W.F.S.

11 pm

MMM

The next morning

WHATHAPPENED?

85

Wide Face Syndrome most ruinsmy life when I take pictures.

SAYCHEESE

CHEEZ

OK LET ME

SNATCH'D!

SEE

DAFUQ??

HAS MY FACEALWAYS BEENTHIS WIDE?!?!?!?

PLEASE, FOR THELOVE OF GODLET'S FIND

A CUREFOR W.F.S.

86

MULTIVITAMINS

ALRIGHTLET'S TRYTHIS OUT

HORMPH

SMILE, BABY I LOVE ASIAN WOMEN!! A PÉNIS?I'VE GOT

ONE

VILE

87

HEY GIRL I'D LIKE TO TAKE CREDIT FOR YOUR IDEAS BY SAYING THEM SLIGHTLY LOUDERGASP

WHAT

88

MODERN HANSEL AND GRETEL

THIS FOREST IS IMPOSSIBLE,WE'RE TOTALLY LOST!

FEAR NOT, SISTER, FOR I HAVE SCATTEREDSWEETS TO GUIDE US BACK HOME

OH MY GODWHAT ARE YOU DOING

HORMPH

OH IT'S MY CHEAT DAYDON'T WORRYABOUT IT

89

BEWARE THE TIDES

HEY, YOU ALL READY FOR-... HEY?

STORM'SA-COMIN'

BOY

GASP

90

HAUNTED HOUSE

BOO

ANEM

WHERE'SMY HUG

AAAHHH

91

A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT

TAP

NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPENNOW, WHO DIES WHILELISTENING TOONE DIRECTION?

92

WHAT'S HER SECRET?

THIS WOMENS' MAG HAS A TONOF GREAT ADVICE FOR ME,A WOMAN

'STEALHERLOOK?'

'WHAT'S IN HER BAG? DOESN'TMATTER, STEAL IT!'

I DON'T GETIT, WHY DOWE HAVE TOSTEAL THINGSAWAY FROMEACHOTHER?

WAIT A MINUTE, 'STEAL HERBOYFRIEND'?

'STEAL HERIDENTITY'?!

SHHSHH

I'M YOUNOW

93

YEARBOOK MEMORIES

AWW...I WASSO CUTE BACKTHEN

NOW I'M JUST A HAGGARDOLD SCARECROW

THIS WAS ONLYTWO YEARS AGO

I DON'T WANNAHEAR IT! I'M

LATE FOR MYSHIFT

94

UNFINISHED BUSINESS

OOOOOOHH

AAH A GHOST!

EH, DON'T FREAK OUT- GHOSTS AREJUST PEOPLE WITH UNFINISHED

BUSINESS

WHAT'SYOURS?

I NEVER FINISHED WATCHINGGOSSIP GIRL.

15 hours laterWOW THIS SHOW REALLY RAN OFF THERAILS AFTER SEASON 2

I KNOW,RIGHT

95

LABELS

HEY...WHAT EXACTLY AREWE DOING HERE?

DAMI, I TOLD YOU I DON'TBELIEVE IN LABELS

NO YOU IDIOT,WHAT ARE WEDOING HERE AAAAHHH

96

K BYE

I JUST NEED SOMESPACE RIGHT NOW

IT'SNOTYOU,

IT'S ME

LISTEN

YOU'REGREAT

WE CAN STILLBE FRIENDS

97

DINING ALONE

THERE'S NO SHAMEIN EATING ALONE...

LOOK, ANOTHERSOLO DINER!COMPLETELYNORMAL!

SORRY, THERE WASA SUPER LONG WAITFOR THE BATHROOM

THANK GODYOU'RE BACK,WAS STARTINGTO FEEL LIKE AWEIRDO!

NOW WE CAN GET BACK TO RE-ENACTINGTHE SCENE FROM LADY AND THE TRAMP,

WHICH REQUIRES TWO OR MOREPEOPLE TO PULL OFF

98

HOW TO DEAL WITH HEARTBREAK

Eat your feelings.

THE ONLY MENWHO WILL NEVERLET ME DOWN

Make it annoyingly obvious somethingis wrong, but refuse to clarify.

DAMI LEE DECEBER 9WAKE ME UP

INSIDE —IN P DESPAIR

2 LIKES

CONCERNED FRIENDWHAT'S WRONG?

Throw things. Break things.

I HAVE DONENOTHING TODESERVE THIS

Cry on public transportation whilelistening to music and pretend you're in

a very sad music video.

99

Talk shit about your ex toanyone who will listen

HE DIDN'TBELIEVE INRECYCLING

Immerse yourself in new hobbies.

Immerse yourself in new hobbies.Immerse yourself in new hobbies.IN A BIG WAY

Throw away letters.Delete texts, emails, photos.

Delete everything.Start over.

100

DATING 101

Go prepared with funconversation starters!

DID YOU KNOW OPRAHAND ROGER EBERT USED

TO DATE?

OH I THINKI DID!

WELL THEN,GOOD!

THAT WAS MYONE FUNFACT

Let him in on your beauty secrest!

YOUR HANDS AREREALLY SOFT

GRAB

101

HA HA WHATTHESE OLD THINGS??

IT'S CUZ I DON'T WASH'EM THAT OFTEN !!!!!!!

Find common interests!

SO, YOU WERE ON THEBASKETBALL TEAMIN HIGH SCHOOL?

THAT'S SO FUNNYBECAUSE SPACE JAMIS MY FAVORITE

MOVIE

But don't search TOO hard for them!

WAIT, HOW DID YOUKNOW THAT? HAVEYOU BEEN ON MY

LIVEJOURNAL?

CHECKPLEASE

Keep it flirty! Don't text him backright away, make him wait!;)

OK THIS HAS BEEN ANADEQUATE LENGTH OFTIME TO WAIT

WAIT WHERE'SMY PHONE

SHIT

102

BAD FOODS TO EAT ON A FIRST DATE

Chili's baby back ribs

YOU GATTASUCK THEBONE DRY

THAT'STHEKEY

Anything that reminds you of your ex

WE USED TO COME HEREALL THE

TIME

Alaskan king crab

CRACK!

Sloppy Joes

YOU HAVE ALIL SOMETHINON YOURFACE

IS ITLOVE

PLOP

103

NOT LIKE THE OTHERS

YOU'RE NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS

YOU'RE RIGHT...

I fly south for the winter

When I feel threatedI getVERYterrior

HONKKK

?I'M A GOOSE, BABY

104

SEAL THE DEALTHANKS FOR WALKING ME HOME,

I HAD A REALLY GREAT TIMETONIGNHT

METOO

WELL... THISIS ME

UHH... KISS HER

105

MARKS OF LOVE

You can usually tell when someons'sin love. It's written all over their face.

Or literally shown all over thei facewith marks of love.

OH THESEOL

THANGS?

These marks are telling of ourclosest relationships

I JUST WANT THESE MARKS TO FAEDBY THE TIME I GET TO WORK

SIGH

COME BACKTO BED, BARBE

106

I'VE GOT RECEIPTS

SO I FOUND THESELYING AROUND,AND I'VE GOT SOMEQUESTIONS FOR YOU

LIKE, MICHAEL? WHO'SMICHAEL?!

BABE, IT'S JUST ACRAFTS STOR-

OH YEAH? WELLTHEN EXPLAIN THIS

DUANE?DUANE READE?

WHAT ISWRONG WITH

YOU

107

WEEKEND GETAWAY

I'M SO TIRED TELL MEABOUT IT

SAY... WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUTA LITTL WEEKEND GETAWAY?

NO JUDGMENTS, NO RULES...JUST US

SOMEONE STOP THEM!THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!

hehheh

THE STATEOF THINGS NOW

109

Because I like to live on the edge, at least

twice a week I will come home from work,

and immediately have to start drawing, in

a race against the clock to meet a comic

deadline. This after-work crunch time

happens to be when evening in New York

aligns with daytime in Seoul. This means one

thing: my mom will undoubtedly call or send

me adorable photos of my growing baby

niece.

When I lived in Korea, I always had FOMO

looking at pictures of my friendsÕ nights out;

these days, whenever IÕm cooped up in my

apartment drawing, I get the fear that IÕm

missing out on being with my family back

home. When I look at what IÕm drawing on

my screen, there is usually something very

dumb on it, like an incredibly buff kangaroo.

But living so far away from my family has

given me a whole new appreciation for them.

It makes me wonder what kind of children

IÕll have, and what kind of mother IÕll be. Will

I be a fun, cool mom, or will I be a literal

helicopter parent? ItÕs a lot to chew on. So

these are comics about the state of things

now, in which I balance my two jobs while

daydreaming about the future, all while

saving a little time for snacks. ThereÕs always

time for snacking.

110

TIME DIFFERENCE

It can be hard living in a differentcountry from your parents.

The trickiest part is the 13-hourtime difference.

Sometimes I'll forget and accidentallytext my mom when she's asleep.

It won't matter though, becauseshe'll always respond.

WOOPS

111

WHY DO I LIVER HEREMe on a good day in New york:

CAN'T BELIEVE I LIVE HERE!THE BIGAPPLE!

NEW YAWK CIDDY BAY-BEETHE GREATEST CITY ON EARTH

Me on a bad day in New Your:

SWEET

JESUS WHY

I AM AGING AT TWICH THERATE OF A NORKAL PERSON.

112

CITY WORKOUT

NOOOOWAIT FORMEEE

HA HA NO

GRUNT GRUNT 3 WEEKS' WORTH OF LAUNDARY

WHY DO I INSIST ON CARRYINGSO MUCH STUFF ALL THE TIME

AAHMY

BACK

CONTAINSLAPTOP,TABLET,

WATER BOTTLE,MAKE-UP,

A KITCHENSINK,

THE DEADWEIGHT OF

LOSTDREAMS

113

When my company relocated,

ADULTHOOD ? SQUIRRELHOOD

it pushed my commute to over an hour.

7.30 AMNO BIG DEAL,

JUST GOTTA WAKE UP30 MINUTES EARLIER NOW!

It was harder to adjust tothen expected.

8.53 AM

SO...HUNGRY

A lot harder

DO YOU NEEDTO SIT DOWN?

thank ...you ...

Now I carry nuts and berries tosnack on in the subway so I don't

faint from hunger.

CRUNCH CRUNCH

I'm embracing my new life as a squirrel.

114

IT'S TIME

OH MY GOODNESS,LOOK AT THE

TIME! I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO EAT LUNCH DUE TO MY BUSY SCHDULE AND ADMIRABLE WORK ETHIC!

I ATE IT FOR YOU, DON'T WORRY YOU SHOULD SET UP MULTIPLETIMERS LIKE ME SO YOU

NEVER FORGET

115

OFFICE THRILLSIT TAKES 30 SECONDS TO DO, BUT ICUTTIN'IT REAL CLOSE & WAITINGUNTIL THE LAST MINUTE TO DO MYEXPENSE REPORTS.

IT JUST ... IT JUST MAKES MEFEEL ALIVE, YOU KNOW?

I, TOO, LIKE TO LIVEDANGEROUSLY

I ALWAYS PLACE CUPS TOO CLOSE TOMY LAPTOP. EVEN THOUCH I HAVE APROVEN HISTORY OF KNOCKING WATERALL OVER MY DESK

OOOH

116

MOTIVATOR

UGHHH I DON'T WANNAGO TO WORK!

YOU LEFT A HALF-EATENSNICKERS BAR AT YOURDESK YESTERDAY SNIFF

117

PRETENDING NOT TO KNOW ENGLISH

Comes in handy when avoidling men

HEYBABY

WOO

UHH NEVERMIND

When ignoring authority

MA'AM YOU CAN'TGO IN THERE

When your friends make fun of you forpronouncing a word wrong because

you've only seen it in books

ENGLISH ISMY SECONDLANGUAGE,

OKAY

118

VACATION MEMORIES

WANNA HEAR ABOUTMY VACATION?

SURE

OK ONESEC!!

IS SHE GONNA MAKE USSIT THROUGH A SLIDESHOW?

WHO'S READY FOR A WALKDOWN MEMORY LANE!

119

THIS GREASE STAINIS FROM JOE'S

MEAT LOVERS PIZZA

I CAN STILL SMELL THEMEMORIES

SNIFF

OOH, AND THIS ONE'S FROM ROBERTA'SCARNE ASADA FRIES I'LL NEVER

FORGET THOSEFRIES

120

FACETIME WITH MOM

MOM! DAUGHTER! OMG I LOOK TERRIBLE

SAME, WHY DO ILOOKLIKETHIS

FIXFIX

PRIMPPRIMP

-10 minutes of primpling later -

OK WELLGOOD CHATMA

OK BYEDAUGHTER

121

ZARA RETROGRADE

I COULD USE SOMERETAIL THERAPY

LET'S SEE WHERE THENEAREST ZARA IS

AH OF COURSE! ALL THE ZARAS INMANHATTAN ARE ABOUT TO ALIGN NO WONDER I'VE BEEN

FEELING SO RESTLESS!

122

A MYSTERY

Why am I so tired

all the time It just doesn't make any sense!!!

UNTZUNTZ UNTZ

123

WHO PUT THOSE THERE

WATER...

AS I LOOK BACK ON MY LIFEWITH CERTAIN DEATH BEFORE ME,

I CAN DEFINITIVELY SAY

EATING ALL THESESALT AND VINEGAR CHIPS

WAS A MISTAKE

124

APPETITE

HEY, WE'RE GOING OUT TODINNER, DON'T SPOILYOUR APPETITE

YOU'RE NOT THEBOSS OF ME!!

DON'T YOUDO IT

DON'T YOUDARE

[CHEWS DEFIANTLY]

125

RESERVATIONS

SORRY, BUT THERE'S ABOUT A 2-HOURWAIT TONIGHT

DO YOU TAKE RESERVATIONS?ONLY FOR GROUPS

OF 6OR

MORE

WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET TOTRY THIS PLACE

BETWEEN THE TWO OF US, WEDON'T HAVE ENOUGH FRIENDS

TO EAT HERE

126

HEALTHY EATING

WHAT'S THAT? I MADE A SALAD CUZI'M TRYING TO EAT

HEALTHIER

ONE DAY I'LL BECONFIDENT ENOUGHTO WEAR A CROP TOP

IN PUBLIC

HM OK BUTWHAT'S THAT

IT WAS ONLY $¡ EXTRAFOR THE JUMBO BAG

127

FOOD FRIENDS

HA HAHEY FRIENDS!

HEE HEE

SHUN

YOU'LL ALWAYSBE A SUPERFOOD

TO ME.

128

GOLDFISH MEMORY PT.2

GOTTA KEEP THISCROISSANT SAFE

FROM BEINGSMOOSHED

I GUSS I CANKEEP IT IN MY

BAG, I'LLREMEMBER!

129

FINALLY HOME!

WA-POW!

I DON'T DESERVENICE THINGS

130

ASSUMPTIONS

SO YOU'RE KOREAN?DO YOU LIKE K-POP?

YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST ASTEREOTYPE AND IT'S REALLYRUDE OF YOU TO MAKE THAT

ASSUMPTION

OK BUT YOU'REWEARING ANEXO BACKPACK

AND A SHIRT THAT SAYS"I WOULD DIE FOR BIG BANG"

IT'S NOT EVENA QUESTION

I 100% WOULD

131

NAMING MY CHILDRENI have long held the belief that I'll be

naming my firstborn after things I like.Me in 2012:

ACTUALLY...COACHELLA WOULD BEA BEAUTIFUL NAME FOR A

BABY GIRL

WHAT IF IT'SA BOY?

THEN HE CANBE COACHELLO

WOWCOACHELLO

IS SO

GREAT

132

FUTURE MOM

Sometimes when Ipack my lunch in the moring

I'll take a bite out of my sandwichbecause I have no self-control.

I worry that I'llnever break this

habit.

I am sorry, future child.

MOM...

133

MOMMY'S SPECIAL TIME

MOMMM I NEEDHELP WITH MY HOMEWOR- SHHHH

IT'S MOMMY'SSPECIAL TIME

134

COMPETITION

MOMMY LOOKWHAT I DREW!

NOT BAD, KIDDO!

2 years later

2 years later

MOMMY LOOK

WOW THIS IS...ACTUALLY REALLY

GOOD

5 years laterMOMMY MY SKILLSARE DEVELOPING

RAPIDLY AND MAY EVENSURPASS YOURS SOON!UHH..

THAT'S KIND OF AWEIRD THING TO SAY

MOMMY I'MWINNING ALL THE

AWARDS AND TAKINGJOBS AWAY FROM YOU!

135

HONESTY

...AND THAT'S WHY THERE'SNOTHING MORE IMPORTANT

THAN HONESTY.

ALRIGHT LADIES, HERE'SFOUR CHERRY PIES

WE ONLYORDERED TWO

WHOOPS, SORRYABOUT THAT! L'LL

JUST TAKETHESE AWAY

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

136

HISTORY LESSON FOR TOMORROW'S YOUTH

HOW DID PEOPLE EVER LIVEBEFORE YELP?

WELL, THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAYTO TELL IF A RESTAURANTWAS GOOD

AND THE PLACE THATATTRACTED THE MOST PIGEONS

WAS THE TASTIEST

WOW

LET'S GO THERE!

PEOPLE THREW CRUMBS FROM THEFOOD THEY WERE EATING ON THEGROUND

137

HELICOPTER MOM

LUNCHTIME! AW MAN I LEFT MYLUNCH AT HOME

IF I KNOW MY HELICOPTERMOM, SHE'LL BE HEREANY MINUTE YOU FORGOT YOUR LUUUUUUNCH

UGH MOM YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!!

JUST LIKE,SOME REALLYPOWERFUL LIFELESSONS. DAMN.

139

People always ask why cartoon-me has an

egg on her sweater. To me, eggs are a super

inspiring example of versatility because

they can be anything they set their minds

to: scrambled, sunny-side up, poached, you

name it!

An egg doesnÕt just decide to be these things

on its own though; it needs a little guidance.

And thatÕs what this chapter is about:

guidance to help you become the best egg

you can possibly be.

As you take in these sweeping, classic

wisdoms with no apparent downsides like

ÒNever admit youÕre wrongÓ and ÒSnack like

itÕs the last time youÕll ever have nachos,Ó

remember that just reading this advice can

only get you so far. You must experience

failures on your own, and learn to stumble.

You must sit on a wall, and you must have a

great fall. ItÕs okay if your shell cracks a little

bit, because itÕs the inside that counts.

And if all else fails, donÕt sweat it too much.

Honestly, the real reason for the egg sweater

is that itÕs cute and easy to draw, so letÕs not

overthink things.

140

GET SOME RESTWhile we're asleep, our

brain cells are hard at workorganizing our thoughts

THERE, EVERYTHING IS IN ITS PLACE!

This isn't the case foreveryone, though

HEY!

THAT DOESN'T GO THERE, IDIOT

WHO YOU CALLIN'AN IDIOT?

YOU WANNAGO RIGHT NOW?

I'LL KILL YOU!!

HURKKCHRGHH

141

RECHARGE

SO GOOD SEEING YOU!LIKEWISE!

PLUG

142

IT'S OKAY TO BE ALONESometimes I like to take a day to

spend time with myself.Some of my favorite things: staying in

and listening to my favorite bops.

Going shopping for hours becauseI can take as long as I want.

I DON'T NEED THIS TRANSPARENTHAMBURGER BACKPACKBUT I ALSO DON'T NOT NEED IT

- 3 hours of crippling indecision later -

MAYBE NEXT TIME

SOMETHING SOMETHING

MOM'S SPAGHETTI

143

Going to a cafe and eavesdropping people watching.

NO! HE DIDN'T!! ...AND THEN HE WAS LIKE, "MAYBE YOU ARE."

HUH?

Getting lost in the weird part of YouTube.

It's actually really nice to be alone every once in a while.IT'S SO IMPORTANTTO BE COMFORTABLEWITH YOURSELF.

And I'm not just saying this because no one is responding to my texts.

144

REMEMBER TO STAY HYDRATEDYOU KNOW, USUALLY WHEN YOU THINKYOU'RE TIRED, IT TURNS OUT YOU'REJUST DEHYDRATED

NO! IRRITABLE AND DRY ISMY USUAL PERSONALITY

WHATEVER, JUSTDRINK THIS

OK WELL NOW I'M JUSTWELL-HYDRATED AND IRRITABLE

145

DO EVERYTHING IN MODERATION

HEY KIDS, SAILOR MERCURY HERE.HERE'S A COOL TIP: STAY IN SCHOOL!

OH!!!

SHE'S SO COOL,I WANNA BEJUST LIKE HER

CHOMP

YOUR DAUGHTERHAS MERCURYPOISONING

MERCURY...

POWER...

MAKEUP

146

MAKE YOUR OWN FUNLET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE

GREATEST GAME YOU'LL EVER PLAYYOU PLAY WITH PADDLES

FOR HANDS.

TIE TWO PING-PONG PADDLESTO THE FRONT AND BACK OFYOUR HANDS

PADDLEHANDS.

I CALL ITPING-PONG 2.

I'M GONNA GOTALK TO SOMEOTHER PEOPLE

NOW.

147

KEEP UP WITH CURRENT TRENDS

DANG, THISSONG ISA JAM!

CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE'SDISCOVERED THESE

GUYS YE-

148

DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

HAH! IS THATYOUR ONE TRICK?

HEY EVERYONE,COME CHECK OUTTHIS LAME-O

HEHEH

149

MAKE MEANINGFUL FRIENDSHIPS

In every friendship, there comes a point when you must ask The Question. It's different for everyone, but for me, the question is:

DID YOU KNOW KANGAROOS ARE JACKED AS HELL?

Their answer will determine your BEF status.YEP, AND ON THAT NOTE, CHECKOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY RIPPEDBELUGA WHALE

OHMY!

150

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

ACHOO!

BLESS YOU! HEH, THANKS

ACHOO!

BLESS YOU!

ACHOO!

BLESS YOU!

14 consecutive sneezes later

PLEASE STOPBLESSING

ME

I CAN'T

I AM TOOBLESSED NOW

151

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO

Whenever I see a wide open space my first thought is always:

THIS WOULD BEPERFECT FOR

BREAK DANCING.

Even though I have never breakdanced a day in my life. It's VERY fun to imagine though.

152

SNACK LIKE A CHAMPION

MAN, I ATE LIKE 23CHICKEN WINGS LAST NIGHT

AND DON'T EVEN GET MESTARTED ON ALL THE BEER &NACHOS I HAD!

SO YOU WENT TO A PRETTYGOOD SUPER BOWL PARTY, HUH?

THE SUPER BOWL WASYESTERDAY?

153

SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING

OH MY GODTHIS DOG IS SO

CUTE IT'S CRIMINALARREST HIM, OFFICER!

CLINK! JUSTICE IS SERVED

154

SPEND RESPONSIBLY

AW MAN,I'M BROKE

WHAT AM ISPENDING ALLMY MONEY

ON?

-Earlier that week-

I'LL GIVE YOU 5 BUCKSTO PUT THIS ENTIRE SCOOPOF ICE CREAM IN YOUR MOUTH DEAL

HA HA

YAYYY EASILY AMUSED

I DON'T GET IT. I'M A RESPONSIBLE SPENDER?

155

NEVER BACK DOWN

KEEP YOUR ATTACKS PERSONALALWAYS HOLDONTO THOSEGRUDGESYOU NEVER KNOWWHEN YOU MIGHTNEED THEM

REPEAT AFTER ME: I HAVENEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONGIN MY LIFE, EVER

I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN MY LIFE, EVER

AND THAT'S IT FOR 'HOW TODISTANCE YOUR LOVED ONES'TODAY

EXCUSE ME, BUTI THOUGHT THIS WAS'HOW TO WIN ANYARGUMENT'?

IT'S THESAME CLASS

156

STAY ORGANIZED

WHATCHAWORKING ON?

JUST PLANNINGOUT MY WEEK

THIS IS JUSTA LIST OFFOOD ANDPLACESTO EAT

157

PUT OTHERS FIRST

In both heaven and hell, you're givena long spoon. In hell, everyone is

starving because no one can get thefood up to their mouths.

Meanwhile, the people in heaven arehappy and full, using thelong spoons

to feed each other.

WOW, WHAT APOWERFUL LESSON

HNNGEURGH

158

BE WHAT YOU LOVE

MMM I LOVETATER TOTSSO MUCH

TELL MEABOUT IT!

I LOVE THEM SOMUCH I WANNA

BE THEMHMM OK

TOTS!TOTS!

TOTS!

WHAT WELP GUESS IT'STIME FOR ME TO GO

159

USE MANTRAS

Whenever I get nervous I tell myself:

THIS ISLIVING!!

BEING NERVOUS IS APART OF LIFE! YOU'REEXPERIENCINGTHE FULL SPECTRUMOF EMOTIONSYOU CAN FEELAS A HUMAN!

The Problem is, I get nervous a lot

THIS ISLIVING!!

160

Thank you to everyone who read my comics

online and encouraged me to keep making

them, you are the reason IÕm able to do

what I love. IÕd also like to take the time to

apologize to this same group of people who

follow me online for comics, but sometimes

get roped into looking at my selfies. This is a

full-package deal, I hope you understand. IÕm

eternally grateful to Stephanie, my agent and

actual angel, for turning my dream of making

a book into a reality. Pippa and Julia, my

wonderful editors who believed in my work

and made me feel like the prettiest girl at the

ball. Emily, Yooni, David, and everyone at Line

Webtoon for being my comics cheerleaders.

Summer, Jen, and Adam, for hiring me from

across the world and being the most support-

ive eggs. Jenny, my sweet angel baby girl, for

being with me on the best coast, in the best

life. Robert Joe, for being awake at all hours

to listen to me rant. Matthew, for being the

inspiration for so many of these comics (all

the good ones, I promise). And finally, thanks

to my umma and appa for being the funniest

people I know and the best parents in the

world.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

THANK YOU

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