Developed under a grant from Sun Microsystems, Inc. Open Gateways at Mountain ViewElementary School by Steve Gandy, Technology Coordinator - www.adams12.org/mtnview/TISS© 2003 Page 1

Writing a PersonalNarrative

Credits:Jeffrey PeckMountain View Elementary, Broomfield, COjeff.peck@adams12.org

VITAL INFORMATIONSubject Matter:Elementary, Language Arts (English)

Grades:4

Software Application:StarOffice Writer, AppleWorks, Microsoft Word

LESSON DESCRIPTIONSummary:Personal narrative is often used in writing assessments. Students need to be familiarwith this genre. They can use the computer to facilitate transfer of work betweenprewriting, rough draft, and final draft. Less rewriting is needed than if they did thiswith paper and pencil. They will use copy/paste and "save as" in this activity.

Students will be given a prompt and write the entire piece in the lab. Prewriting willbegin on the 2 column note template (see attachments). Next they use copy andpaste to transfer their notes to a rough draft. Finally, they use "save as" and makechanges for a final draft.

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State & National Standards:CO- Colorado Academic Standards• Subject : Reading and Writing• Standard 2: Students write and speak for a variety of purposes and audiencesWriting and speaking are essential tools for learning, for success in the workplace,and for responsible citizenship. Developing a range of writing and speaking abilitiesrequires extensive study, practice, and thinking. Students need frequentopportunities to write and speak for different audiences and purposes, and they needto be able to communicate expressively, informatively, and analytically. Growth inwriting and speaking abilities occurs by applying skills to increasingly challengingcommunication tasks• Grade/Level : CO- Colorado Academic Standards• Grade/Level : Grades K-4 Performance Indicator : organizing their speaking and writing Performance Indicator : revising and editing speech and writing• Standard 3: Students write and speak using conventional grammar, usage,sentence structure, punctuation, capitalization, and spellingStudents need to know and be able to use standard English. Proficiency in thisstandard plays an important role in how the writer or speaker is understood andperceived. All skills in this standard are reinforced and practiced at all grade levelsand should be monitored by both the teacher and student to develop lifelong learningskills• Grade/Level : CO- Colorado Academic Standards• Grade/Level : Grades K-4 Performance Indicator : knowing and using correct capitalization, punctuation, andabbreviations

Local Standards:INSTRUCTIONAL TECHNOLOGY SKILLS CONTINUUM#2:Using productivity software as a basis for learning and skill building. Studentsdemonstrate and understand the universal tools of word processing.- Begins using touch typing with home keys.- Independently uses spell check and thesaurus.- Changes character formatting such as font color.- Utilizes different document layouts. (i.e. newsletter, etc.)- Changes document formatting such as: alignment, bulleted/numbered lists,borders, line spacing, margins, etc.- Inserts a graphic into a word-processed document.- Uses drawing tools such as: selection tools, eyedropper, etc.

Lesson Outcomes:Students need to be proficient with the personal narrative genre, which we use forwriting samples taken at the beginning, middle and end of each school year. We willwork on the characteristics of this genre as we complete this assignment. Studentswill then use the computer for the entire writing process - prewrite, rough draft,revision, editing, and the final draft.

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Assessment:Students' work will be evaluated using the Adams 12 District Fourth Grade PersonalNarrative rubric (see attached rubric.) They will be evaluated for content,organization, style and editing.

Students could be given the rubric ahead of time to see how they will be evaluated.

Assessment/Rubrics:Attachments: 1. 4th Grade Personal Narative Rubric

CLASSROOM & TIME MANAGEMENTStudent Prerequisites:Students should be familiar with the word processing program used for this lesson.

Lesson Preparation:Teacher should load the two-column pre-writing template into each student'sdirectory on the server.

Attachments: 1. Two-Column Notes Template

Time Frame:3 class periods. 45 Min. per class.

Implementation Steps:Day 1 : Students are given the assignment to write about a happy, sad, or scarymoment in their life. Students use a 2 - column note template (see attachment.)They write the event on the left side and details/feelings for the event on the rightside. They are told to have about 4 events and two feelings/details for each event.We discuss the need to focus on a small period of time. They should "write a lotabout a little" rather than a "little about a lot". Focus on the moment! We also talkabout showing, rather than telling. Don't say, "I was scared". Describe what scaredlooks like. These should be complete sentences.

Day 2: Students open a new text page. They also open their prewriting template.They put a title and topic sentence on the new page (rough draft). We talk about anexciting introduction that grabs the reader's attention. Next, they copy their firstdetail from the prewriting and paste it onto the rough draft. After that, they copy thefeeling/ detail sentence(s) that support the event. They repeat these steps until all ofthe prewriting is copied to the rough draft. They finish with a good concludingsentence. They should spell check, proofread, and save this as My Story - rough.They should print out the rough draft.

Day 3: Students need to look over the rough draft to revise for word choice (strongverbs, descriptive language) and sentence fluency (variety of sentence starters andlengths). They can make marks on the rough draft with pencil. They can also checkfor obvious grammar errors and other errors. I conference with them about theirpapers during this time as well. They need to open up their rough draft andimmediately go to Save As. They can call this My Story - final. This way, the changes

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that they make won't permanently alter the original. They should view their markedup rough draft as they make the final. They need to spell check, proofread and savethis final copy. Finally, they can print.

RESOURCESLesson Resources:Students will work independently in the computer lab, one student per computer.Conferencing with teacher can take place during lab time or in the classroom.

STUDENT PRODUCT(S)Product(s) Description:Attachments: 1. Student Rough Draft 2. Student Final Copy

REFLECTIONComments:The students have a hard time zeroing in on a small time period for this activity.They want to tell "a little about a lot" instead of the other way around. The teachercan provide some examples of his/her own to help illustrate this point.

Taylor11/5/01Personal Narritive

Have you ever been on a ride that makes you cry sohard?I was getting into the hard seat of the Thunder Bolt. Ithought it wasn't going to be as scary as I imagined. Theride started to start. I wasn't scared. Then all of the suddenit started going faster and faster. I was screaming to mybrother,I don't like this. Finally it started to go backwards. Ialmost started to cry. I could feel my head poundingagainst the seat. It gave me a headache. Then it stopped. Iran to my mom and bursted into tears.It was so scary,I washappy that it was over. That was one of the most scariestrides to me!

Taylor11/5/01New Personal Narrative

The Thunder Bolt

Have you ever been on a ride thatmakes you cry so hard? I was getting intothe hard seat of the Thunder Bolt. Ithought it wasn't going to be as scary as Iimagined. The ride started to go. Iwasn't scared. Then all of the sudden itstarted going faster and faster. I wasscreaming to my brother, I don't like this.Finally it started to go backwards. Ialmost started to cry. I could feel my headpounding against the seat. It gave me aheadache. Then it stopped. I ran to mymom and burst into tears. It was so scary,I was happy that it was over. That wasone of the scariest rides to me!

Grade 4 - Personal NarrativeWriting Rubric

PB_G4:Users:sgandy:TISS project:TISS_publish:Word Files:Grade 4:Lesson Plans:PersonalNarrative:4_personal_narrative.doc 6/2001

©Adams 12 Five Star Schools

1 - Unsatisfactory 2 - Partially Proficient 3 - Proficient 4 - Advanced

CO

NT

EN

T

• does not address prompt orpersonal event or experience is notclear

• lacks main idea

• lacks focus• details are random

• partially addresses prompt orpersonal event or experience issomewhat clear

• some evidence of a main idea

• focus may change throughout• few details are elaborated

• addresses prompt or clearlytells about a personal event orexperience that reallyhappened

• interesting details support mainidea

• essential focus maintained• some details are elaborated

Paper meets all standards for theproficient level, but does so: -in an insightful and/or creativemanner

OR-by providing exceptional ideadevelopment

OR

GA

NIZ

AT

ION

• lacks an organizational plan orsequence of ideas

• ideas are not clustered

• inadequate development of a lead,middle, or end

• lacks narrative transitions

• lacks title

• minor errors in logical,sequential organization of ideas

• some ideas clustered

• has two of three: a strong leadthat introduces narrative;middle/body supports it, or endbrings closure

• some narrative transitions

• inappropriate title

• logical, sequential organizationof ideas

• ideas are organized usingparagraphs

• strong lead introducesnarrative; middle/body supportsit; end brings closure

• narrative transitions (e.g. while,after that, in the meantime)

• appropriate title

Paper meets all standards forproficient level, but moves beyondthe formula in an innovativemanner.

ST

YL

E

• sentences begin the same way(sentence fluency)

• sentences are choppy or rambling(sentence fluency)

• lacks appropriate, interesting wordchoice

• lacks imagery

• lacks personal. individual voicealtogether

• little variation in sentencebeginnings (sentence fluency)

• little variation in sentencelength and structure (sentencefluency)

• few appropriate, interestingword choices

• limited imagery using adjectivesand/or similes

• very little personal, individualvoice

• sentence beginnings vary(sentence fluency)

• sentences vary in length as wellas structure (sentence fluency)

• appropriate, interesting wordchoice (e.g. vivid verbs)

• imagery using adjectives and/orsimiles

• personal, Individual voiceexpresses thoughts andfeelings

The paper meets all standards forproficient level, but stands outfrom others through:-strong word choice-language that invites expressiveoral reading -a voice that is engaging andmatches tone (e.g. humorous,sincere, etc)

CO

NV

EN

TIO

NS

• many fragments/run-ons• many errors in mechanics -capitalization -punctuation -spelling -grammar and/or usage• many errors in format (spacing,

margins, handwriting)

• some fragments/run-ons• some errors in mechanics -capitalization -punctuation -spelling -grammar and/or usage• some errors in format (spacing,

margins, handwriting)

• few fragments/run-ons• few errors in mechanics -capitalization -punctuation -spelling -grammar and/or usage• few errors in format (spacing,

margins, handwriting)

The paper is virtually error free

Note: An Italicized descriptor in the “Proficient” column indicates the characteristic is new to the grade level.