1

Excerpts from the Book

Publisher: ADVANTAGE QUEST

AUTHOROh Teik Bin

AUTHORLee Kiang Wui

2

‘A Laugh a day keeps the Doctor away’

“He who laughs, lasts!”

Mary Pettibone Poole

The Wise Ones, knowing the true nature of things,live in harmony and peace with themselves,

with others and the outside world.

3

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder as he wanted to ask him something. The driver gave out a loud scream, lost control of the car, nearly hit a van, drove up a curb and stopped just a few inches from a shop window. For a moment, everything went quiet in the cab and then the driver told the passenger, “Sir, don’t ever do that again. Did you know that you scared me out of my wits?”The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare the daylights out of you.”The driver said, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. You know, today is my first day as a cab driver. For the last twenty years I’ve been driving a funeral van.”

Great fear can arise when one associates a present happening with one’s past circumstances or experiences.

The Cab Driver

4

The Ugly BabyA mother who was carrying a baby, boarded a bus. The bus driver remarked, “That is the

ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The mother fumed at the driver’s words but went to the back of the bus and sat down.

“The stupid driver just insulted me,” she told the passenger sitting beside her. “Why don’t you go right up there and tell him off?” her seatmate said, “and while you do that, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

How often have we added salt to wounds due to ignorance, carelessness or a sheer lack of mindful wisdom?

5

Impressive Young Businessman

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it lavishly furnished.One day, while he was sitting at his office desk, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to impress the stranger, he picked up his phone and pretended he had a big deal working. After some time, he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”“Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines,” the man replied.

One who pretends or is dishonest will eventually be found out.

6

Long, Happy Life?A woman walked up to an old-looking man sitting in a chair on the porch of his house.Woman : I couldn’t help but notice how carefree you look. What is your secret for a long and happy life?”Man : Happy? I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods and never exercise. Woman : Wow, that’s amazing! How old are you?Man : Twenty - eight.

One’s health is often in one’s hands. One’s lifestyle certainly affects one’s health.

7

When The Boss Jokes …When the ‘high and mighty’ boss returned from lunch one day, he was in a good mood. He called the whole staff to listen to a couple of jokes that he had picked up. Everybody, except for one lady, laughed and clapped loudly.“Hey, what’s the matter with you?” the boss grumbled at the lady. “Don’t you have a sense of humour?”“I don’t have to laugh,” the lady replied. “I’m leaving the company this Friday.”

In a world of hypocrisy, many put on a front to please their superiors or to curry a favour from them.

8

A Question for DaddyA six-year old girl went to her father, who was working in the garden. “Daddy, what is sex?” she asked.The father was shocked that she would ask such a question, but he decided that if his daughter could ask such a question, then she was old enough to get a straight answer.He proceeded to tell her all about the ‘birds and the bees’. When he finished explaining, the little girl, with eyes wide open, her mouth hanging open, was completely perplexed.Puzzled, the father asked the daughter, “Why did you ask that question, darling?”“Mummy told me to come and tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of SECS.”

Too often we jump to conclusions too quickly and this can lead to undesirable consequences.

9

Wrong LivelihoodLim : My uncle makes a lot of money in the gambling den.Tan : What special system does he use?Lim : Whenever there is a raid by the police, he grabs all the money and hides it.Tan : But if there are no raids by the police?Lim : Then my uncle calls them.

Scoundrels and immoral people resort to all ways for material gain.

10

Simple OperationA man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital, in his wheelchair, just before his operation.An attendant stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?”The frightened man said, “I heard the nurse in the operation theatre say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry. I am sure it will be all right.’ ”“The nurse was just trying to reassure you. Why are you so frightened?” the attendant asked.“The nurse was not talking to me. She was talking to the surgeon!”

Fear arises due to our reaction to another’s speech or actions.

11

No RespectThe boss of a company used to throw his weight around. He often nagged his staff members unreasonably and told them that they must show more respect for him.One morning he brought a sign that read “ I AM THE BOSS ”. He hung it on his office door.Later that day when he returned from his lunch break, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign on his office door. The note said: “YOUR WIFE CALLED. SHE WANTS HER SIGN BACK.”

How many hen-pecked husbands become nasty bosses in their places of work treating their subordinates in most unreasonable ways?

12

A Better JobA little girl climbed into her grandfather’s lap and studied his white, balding head. She

ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and felt the old man’s rough face and neck.“Did God make you?” the little girl asked.“Yes,” the grandfather replied.“Did God make me too?” she asked.“Of course darling,” the old man replied.“Well,” the little girl shrugged, feeling the smoothness of her face, “don’t you think He’s

doing a better job now than He used to?”

Little children can pose questions which can be quite tricky. Beware!

13

SuperstitionA thief and his accomplice had entered a high-rise building and had stolen some jewelry from an apartment. Suddenly there was a police siren.Thief : Quick Buddy … the police are coming … jump out of the window!Accomplice : But we’re on the 13th floor!Thief : You stupid fool! This is no time to be superstitious!

Fear or panic arising from a person’s wrong doing can lead him into terrible consequences.

14

MeditationA meditation teacher walked around to check on a group of meditators . He noticed that a meditator was alternately pressing his nostril, right and then left and then right and so on. He was indeed very puzzled. After the meditation session was over, the teacher called up the meditator who had been meditating in a strange way.Teacher : Why were you meditating in a strange way … pressing your nostril, one at a time?Meditator : Sir, I was merely following your instructions. You said, ‘Breathing in …one nose. Breathing out …one nose.’The teacher was shocked. He had instructed, ‘Breathing in …one knows, breathing out …one knows.’

Be careful! So many things in our life go wrong because we misinterpret instructions.

15

“I’d do Anything …”A sexy young lady undergraduate entered a young professor’s office. She

closed the door and knelt down pleadingly.“I would do anything to pass this exam,” she pleaded. She then leant

closer to him, flipped back her hair, gazed sexily into his eyes. “I mean …” she whispered, “ …I would do … anything.”

“Anything?” the professor returned her gaze.“Yes, absolutely anything,” she said sexily.The professor whispered to her, “Go back and study your lecture notes.”

Never resort to immoral behaviour to try to achieve your goal. Honest hard work is the only way.

16

One Fine DayA husband and wife were returning home

by bus after their weekly marketing. The husband lighted a cigarette and started puffing away.

Wife : Hey, didn’t the doctor advise you to stop smoking months ago?

Husband : Indeed he did, darling. And I promised the doctor I will quit smoking one fine day.

Wife : It’s been three months already. Hasn’t that fine day arrived?

Husband : Ah … every time I decide to quit when the fine day comes, the day immediately turns lousy!

It takes a strong will power to give

up one’s bad habits.

17

Age SecretA woman went to a gambling casino for the first time. At a roulette table, she said, “I really have no idea what number I should bet on.”A young handsome man nearby suggested that she betted on a number corresponding to her age. The woman smiled at the man and she put her money on the number ‘24’ The wheel of the roulette was spun and the number ‘42’ came up. The smile drifted from the woman’s face and she fainted.

The wise ones tell us that ‘Honesty is the best policy.’

18

Wagging his tailA man paid a visit to his friend. He noticed that his friend with two other

guys were playing cards with a dog at a table. The dog appeared to be playing impressively.

“You have a very smart dog,” the man commented to his friend.“Not so smart,” one of the players said. “He never wins. Every time he

needs a certain card, he wags his tail a certain number of times.”

Even a smart person is capable of showing stupid behavior or revealing something that should not be shown.

19

Birth Control“I’ve got to go to the doctor to renew my prescription of birth control pills,” Suzie told her friend Maggie.“But I thought you said your husband had a vasectomy,” Maggie answered with a puzzled look..“He did,” Suzie said. “That’s why I can’t afford to get pregnant.”

How many spouses cheat on their partners hoping to keep their secrets from each other. There is a price to pay once the affair leaks out.

20

The MechanicA dentist brought his new car to a mechanic for repair. After an hour’s work, the mechanic told the dentist that the charge was RM 200.“What? RM 200 for just an hour’s work?” the dentist barked.The mechanic said calmly, “You charge RM 200 for just 20 minutes of dental work and you are dealing with the same old human teeth. You know, I have to learn to repair 3 to 5 new car models every year!

The ordinary worker with little education may be smarter or more ‘cunningly unscrupulous’ than you ever expect. He can cleverly rationalize all his actions.

21

The Pay Roll Clerk A pay roll clerk was alone in the office when two masked robbers entered.“This is a stick-up,” one of robbers said, pointing a gun at the clerk. “You make a move and you are dead! Just hand over all the money and you won’t get hurt.”Fearing for her life, the clerk obeyed, and the robbers scooped up all the money and put the notes in their pockets.As the robbers made for the door, the clerk shouted, “Just a minute! Please take the payroll books too! The auditors are coming tomorrow!”

Incompetent workers sometimes resort to unethical ways to cover up the mistakes they commit.

22

The End

“May you Laugh your way to good Health.

May Wisdom be yourgreatest Wealth!”

With Best Wishes,Oh Teik Bin & Lee Kiang Wui

“Wisdom From Laughter” is available at the following:MPH , Popular, Times, Kinokuniya

in Malaysia & Singapore