Wisdom From A Mom

• Start early to teach your youngsters that there are consequences to their behaviors. My oldest was 2 1/2 when I started using time outs with her. When she did something inappropriate she would time out, and count to 20, with help, before she could go back to playing. This also helped her learn to count.

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• A good nights sleep is important for all of us but especially children. Young children in elementary school need from 10-12 hours of sleep per night. So my little ones in their primary years would go to bed by 7:30. Keep in mind that the bath and the “goodnight routine” would start before this. Our mornings started at 6:15 since they were off to Y-Care by 7:00 a.m.

• All backpacks and papers were prepared the night before so there wasn’t any hassles in the morning before school.

• The morning routine was to wake up the kids verbally. They were to get up, get dressed, brush their teeth, and eat breakfast without any TV. If they didn’t get up and get ready in a timely manner they would go to bed earlier the next few nights.

• As my eager students got older they would go to bed by 8:00, but be allowed to read for half an hour before lights went out.

• This continued on into high school. Everyone would be in their bedrooms, showered and ready for bed by 9:00, but they could read until 10:00. Most of the family didn’t take advantage of this reading time, but my husband and I

would.

• Homework was always completed after dinner, and before play or TV. If there was practice for sports then homework might be tackled right after school.

• The children worked on the homework in the kitchen or dinning room so I could monitor the completion of it. Long term projects were always started right away so nothing was left until the last night. We tried to keep Sunday nights free of homework.

• Poor grades meant that you lost your TV privileges until the grades were improved. During high school cell phones, and computer use was also lost.

• Extra curricular activities - Since we had five children it was important to limit activities outside of school. This is probably a good rule even if you only have one child. Each child would do one activity at a time. So if they were in soccer during the fall they could start basketball once the soccer season was over. When spring came around they could play baseball. Over-scheduling a child is not good. You will see their school, health, and interest in extra curricular

activities suffer.

• We encouraged our children to read by modeling reading, visiting the library, and giving them time to enjoy books.

• TV was only on for an hour at the most each day. Our children never had a TV in their bedrooms because this would be a major distraction, and they would no longer watch a show with the whole family. Computer games were only played for a limited time as well. The games that I allowed them to play could not have a MA rating.

• The long winter nights and hot summers days were filled with board games, crafts, and cards. Children learn so much by playing with their family. Taking turns, communication, strategy, paying attention, and much more is happening during a family game. Games such as Yahtzee, scrabble, Monopoly, solitaire, password, catch phrase, and Go Fish are valuable for all families.

• Cell Phones- When your children are young you know everyone they come in contact with throughout their day. As they get into school it is good to know the families of their friends. Be comfortable with their friends, or encourage them to choose friends from good safe families. When they go to middle school they begin to meet many kids that you don’t know and their world gets a little bit bigger. This continues in high school as well. They are in a school of 1200 or more and they start meeting peers from other schools. This becomes very scary as a parent, you just hope your child has a good foundation now.

When they have a cell phone their world becomes huge because they can have contact with people all over the world. You as a parent don’t know who they are talking to, and what they might be planning.

This is one of those things that makes your child’s world bigger than it ought

to be. I would wait until 8th grade to have your child earn a phone. Notice the word earn. Whenever you can show your child the value of earning something then do it. Let them see the steps they need to take to get to the desired goal. Have them write down and check off when they reach each one. Some of the steps might be calling you and letting you know where they are at all times, keeping their room clean, receiving good grades, being honest, and turning 13.

• Facebook is a great tool for social media but I would save that for late middle school or high school use only. Starting Facebook early makes their world too big, too soon, like I mentioned with the cell phone. It is OK to have to wait for some things in life. When they do start a Facebook page it is important that you make sure it is secure so only friends can see their page. Yes, you should be allowed to see the page at all times.

Computer Use – As a teacher I see the value of having a computer in the kitchen or family room where parents can help and monitor what is being seen. When the child is in the primary I would help them search topics of their interest while sitting right next to them. As they move into fourth and fifth grades it is good to continue the guidance from afar while cooking, cleaning or reading the paper. Once they are in middle and high school they should be trusted to use the computer appropriately or they lose privileges.