8/13/2019 What's It Like, Being a Female from The Middle East?

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In the year 2045, I imagine, and secretly hope, somebody will ask me the following question:

In 2013, what was it like for a Middle Eastern girl to move away from her home country and choose

education and career over starting a family?

Answer:

In 2013, the Lebanese parliament consisted of 128 members, only 4 of whom were women. Ironically, in

2013, Lebanon was also the pioneer in women’s rights in the Arab world. At that time, religion played a

significant role in Middle Eastern politics, and both played a monumental role in shaping my country’s

culture. Even though Lebanon had a 40% Christian population, the influence from nearby Muslim

countries was strong in many aspects. Their unrest meant our unrest, and this continuous political

turbulence Lebanon had been going through for years gave way to chaos and corruption, both of which

left very little room to address women’s rights and aspirations. There were very few women

empowerment programs in the community, government funded or otherwise, and when women made

it into the workforce, they were generally underpaid.

While it may seem that religion was the biggest barrier, the truth is, the perception of women’s rights

and roles in society was not a function of religion, but more a function of a family’s educational

background and social status. For my family and I, the decision for me to move away was a natural one

that they encouraged. I was fortunate enough to be born into a very educated family; my father held a

PhD, and my mother, before me, was one of the first women in her village to spark controversy by

leaving her country in pursuit of higher education. The importance of such a move was a core belief in

my family, but unfortunately, society did not hold the same views at all.

Even though there was nothing in the law prohibiting women from work or discriminating against them

in the workforce, cultural influences were much stronger than the law. As a Middle Eastern female,whether or not you were encouraged to be educated, society expected you to get married and start a

family as soon as you can. As a result, many fathers did not invest much in their daughter’s education

because they believed that ultimately, she will be married, and her education would not be needed.

Back then, men were expected to be the sole breadwinners of the family, and most of the time, when a

woman worked, it was seen as a sign that her husband could not adequately provide for her; very

belittling if you happened to be a man. And if you happened to be a woman who chose the career path,

you may not have received the support you needed from your husband or your community. Husbands

did not contribute to housework or child care, because it was also viewed by society in a very

demeaning light. For all these reasons, the women who chose to work had to work twice as hard to

prove their competencies and eventually get adequately compensated.

When I left my country at age 23 to pursue an MBA, most of the girls I went to high school with were

already married, some with children. Many had college degrees, but they did not work, and in our

community, this was more or less the norm. As a professionally oriented female, it was very difficult to

explain to my community why I wanted another degree, and even more difficult to explain why I did not

have the desire to get married. It was also challenging for my family, who were scrutinized for allowing

their daughter to be so far away from the restraints of her society. It was tough for me, or any woman

8/13/2019 What's It Like, Being a Female from The Middle East?

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like me, to make that decision, simply because I felt that I was deviating from the norm, and my society

did not encourage deviation. Much of it came down to choice, and if you chose to do it, you had to be

strong enough to defend it, resilient enough to follow through with it, and committed enough to be able

to prove yourself as both a manager and a mother.

I hope this will help you appreciate the world you now live in, and understand how our Middle Easternsociety, as well as our workforce composition, have changed since then. What you take for granted

today was not an easy option for many people back in 2013, and I was lucky enough to have it and take

advantage of it when few else did.