VICTORIAN ERAVICTORIAN ERA

Social Etiquette

ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS: VICTORIAN ERA

H

ere are some of our favorite

practices of social etiquette from

the Victorian Era. (Requires a

sense of humor!)

1)BATHING1)BATHING

A

simple washing out of the eyes is not

sufficient. The complete bathing of the body

-once each day- is of the utmost

importance. (Not more than a quart of water

is necessary, preferably rainwater.)

2)HAIR

T

he head should be washed occasionally with soap and

water.

W

hen the hair is inclined to (έχουν την τάση να ) be

harsh and dry, a moderate application of bear's grease

(γράσο) or other dressing (μείγμα) should be used.

3)SKIN3)SKIN

B

eware of exterior applications

(εξωτερικές εφαρμογές) of cosmetics.

I

nstead, once every two or three

months, take a teaspoon full of

powdered charcoal (καρβουνόσκονη)

mixed with sweetened water (γλυκό

νερό) or milk.(ζαχαρούχο γάλα) This

will prove efficacious in making the

complexion(επιδερμίδα) clear and

transparent . 

4)KISSING4)KISSING

U

pon the meeting of intimate friends, among

ladies, at the private house, the kiss as a mode

of salutation is yet common; but this is a custom

which ought to be abolished(καταργηθεί) for

physiological and other reasons.

5)BOWING5)BOWING

A

gentleman should not bow from a window to a lady on

the street (!) , though he may bow slightly from the

street upon being recognized by a lady in a window (!) .

Such recognition should, however, generally be avoided,

as gossip is likely to attach undue(υπερβολική)

importance to it when seen by others. 

6)DIGNITY6)DIGNITY

T

o greet someone by saying "Hello, old fellow"

indicates ill-breeding(κακή ανατροφή). If you are

approached in this vulgar(χυδαίος) manner, it is

better to give a civil reply and address the person

respectfully, in which case he is quite likely to be

ashamed of his own conduct.

7)SMALL TALK7)SMALL TALK

N

o topic of absorbing interest

(

interesting topic) may be admitted to polite

conversation. It might lead to discussion.

8)CONDUCT TO AVOID AT 8)CONDUCT TO AVOID AT THE BALLTHE BALL

N

o gentleman should enter the

ladies' dressing room at a ball.

9)CARD-PLAYING9)CARD-PLAYING

I

f possible, do not violate the rules of the game and

do not cheat. Should you observe anyone

cheating, quietly and very politely call it to his

attention, and be careful that you do not get

excited. People who experience ill-feeling at the

game should avoid playing.

10)MARRIAGE10)MARRIAGE

A

nyone with bright red hair and a florid complexion

should marry someone with jet-black hair. The very

corpulent (obese) should marry the thin and spare

(λιτοδίαιτος), and the body, cold-blooded

(ψυχρόαιμος) should marry the round-featured,

warm hearted, emotional type.

11)HUSBANDS11)HUSBANDS

A

lways leave home with a tender

goodbye and loving words. They

may be the last.

12)TRAIN12)TRAIN TRAVELTRAVEL

P

eople with weak eyes should avoid

reading on trains, and those with

weak lungs (πνεύμονες) should

avoid talking.

13)STREET 13)STREET ETIQUETTEETIQUETTEW

hen crossing the pavement

( πεζοδρόμιο ), a lady should raise her dress with the right hand, a

little about the ankle. To raise the dress with both hands is vulgar

and can only be excused when mud is very deep.

RULES OF SOCIAL RULES OF SOCIAL ETIQUETTEETIQUETTE

F

or those in the upper echelons of society , rules

such as the proper forms of address, and even

what to wear (including which pieces of jewelry

would be appropriate) were all considered very

important. For the lower class , the poor, there

wasn’t time for etiquette.

WHAT TO AVOID … WHAT TO AVOID …

T

he Upper and Upper-Middle Class from

the slightest burp ( social ruin if it was

heard ) to how a gentleman spoke to a

young lady , Victorian society was greatly

concerned with every aspect of daily

life .

From the moment the Upper Class left their beds their days were governed by Do’s and Don’ts.

T

he Horror of social ostracism was paramount ( κυρίαρχος ) . To be

caught in the wrong fashion at the wrong time of day was as

greatly to be feared as addressing a member of society by the

wrong title .

I

t was important to know whom you could speak with – especially

if you hadn’t been properly introduced . For a woman , being

asked to dance by a complete stranger could posse an etiquette

problem which might have repercussions(επιπτώσεις)for days .

Y

oung Ladies were constantly chaperoned(συνοδευόμενες)

. To be found alone with a gentleman who was other than

family was tantamount (ισοδυναμεί)to social death. Her

reputation(φήμη) would be ruined and her gentleman

companion would find himself the object of gossip , and

most usually derision(χλευασμός).

T

he established career for society women was

marriage – full stop . They were expected to

represent their husbands with grace and provide

absolutely no scandal . Charity work would be

accepted , but only if it was very gentile … sewing

for the poor , or putting together food baskets .

G

entlemen had to keep track of when it was

proper to either smoke or have a glass of

sherry in front of ladies . When to bow and to

whom to tip your hat could cause gossip if

the wrong decision was made.

M

embers of Victorian society kept busy with

parties , dances , visits , dressmakers , and

tailors(ράφτες) . Keeping track of what other

people in your social class were doing was

also a full-time occupation .

THE PEOPLE IN THE THE PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLEMIDDLE

B

eing a servant in one of the grand Victorian houses was a

position which guarantee shelter and food . However ,

there was etiquette to be learned

T

he upper class was never to be addressed unless it was

absolutely necessary . If it was the case , as few words as

possible were to be uttered(ειπωθεί).

MA’AM AND SIR MA’AM AND SIR

U

sing the proper title was of the utmost

importance. “Ma’am” or “Sir” was always

appropriate . If “Ma’am” was seen , it was

necessary that you ‘disappear’, turning to

face the wall and avoiding eye contact .

L

ife was easier , though , amidst(ανάμεσα) your

fellow servants . Although private fraternization was

frowned upon (αποδοκιμαζόταν), it wasn’t against

the rules for those ‘below stairs’ to enjoy

singing , dancing , and other social activities

together .

Q

uite often the ‘upper class’ of the servant world ,

the butler and housekeeper , would put aside

their lofty roles in the household and join their

fellow servants in gaiety (ευθυμία) . But come the

morning , they would reign supreme once again

H

aving a profession was another way of

being a member of the middle class of

Victorian society . Shopkeepers , doctors ,

nurses , a schoolmaster , or parish priest

were all notable professions .

O

ften times , the only difference between being a member

of the upper-middle and the middle class was the amount

of wealth you had gathered , and how it was flaunted .

A

nother indicator was the number of servants you employed

. Having more than one servant was a sure sign that you

had money .

S

ometimes , the ‘uppers’ and the ‘middlers’ would mingle

(ανακατώνομαι). If the proper introductions could be

managed , it was possible for a tradesman to receive

backing from a prominent ‘upper’ member .

With a successful business deal , both parties could

increase their wealth and for the ‘middler’ , their station

in life .

‘‘THE POOR’ WERE THE POOR’ WERE INVISIBLE… INVISIBLE…

T

he Lower Class Victorian Society did not recognize that

there was a lower class .

T

hey might work as : Chimney sweeps , ratcatchers ,

workers at factories ( they had no place in the echelon of

the upper class ) – although their services would be

needed from time to time

POPULAR POINTS OF POPULAR POINTS OF ETIQUETTE DURING THE ETIQUETTE DURING THE

VICTORIAN ERAVICTORIAN ERA V

ictorian girls were trained early on in life to prepare

herself for a life dedicated to home and family if she

married, and charity if she didn’t. And young ladies ,

though advised on the importance of catching a man ,

were warned not to be too liberal in display of their

charms. Meekness and modesty were considered

beautiful virtues.

I

nvitations should be sent at least seven to

ten days before the day fixed for an event ,

and should be replied to within a week of

their receipt , accepting or declining with

regrets .

N

ever lend a borrowed book. Be particular to return one

that has been loaned to you, and accompany it with a

note of thanks.

R

ise to one’s feet as respect for an older person or

dignitary .

W

hat can I say? A true gentleman tips their hat to greet

a lady, open doors. And always walks on the outside.

C

onversation is not to talk continually , but to listen

and speak in your turn.

D

o not monopolize conversation or interrupt

another speaker to finish his story for him.

A

nd as for the Gentlemen, they should be seen and

not smelled. They should use but very little

perfume , as too much of it is in bad taste.

When introduced to a man , a lady should never offer her hand , merely bow politely and say , “ I am happy to make your acquaintance . “

While courting , a gentleman caller might bring only certain gifts such as flowers , candy or a book. A woman could not offer a gentleman any present at all until he had extended one to her, and then something artistic, handmade and inexpensive was permissible .

A

gentleman may delicately kiss a lady’s hand, the

forehead , or at most, the cheek.

I

f you are conversing with people who know less

than you , do not lead the conversation where they

cannot follow.

V

ictorians take the rules of propriety

very seriously. It is who they are. Of

one does not confirm , they are

considered outcasts In proper society.

Education

The educating of young women would not be complete without the teaching of refined deportment . Social living and decorum is as much a part of their curriculum as are math , literature and other academic subjects. There have been many books written to instruct both young women and men on the proper rules of conduct. They know that proper conduct and decorum is not only a measure of social standing and success, but was necessary to be looked upon as a means of entering the growing upper classes.

Bowing

Clothes