Understanding self and others

The self

Answers the question ‘who am I?’ Meanings attached to a person by self and

others that are based on personal characteristics and on people’s social roles and membership in various groups

Person can have multiple selves stemming from a variety of identities (Self-pluralism)

Ideal/possible self

The self

Product ofWhat you areWhat society expects you to beWhat experiences you have and how you deal

with them

Self-presentation/impression management: Revealing yourself to others Self-consciousness – the process of knowing

oneself Self monitoring - what do you present and why Presenting your true self - makes one

vulnerable, so we prefer to act according to social expectations, wear masks and remain enigmas Assumption of maturity and sensitivity Of course, sometimes even we do not know our true

selves (cf self-consciousness)

Johari window

The most useful model to describe the process of human interaction, more specifically of giving and receiving feedback

Model depicts communication windows through which feedback is given and received

Through feedback and disclosure, you can reveal more about yourself to others and learn more about yourself from others

1 2

3 4

Known by self

Unknown by self

Ask

open/free/public arenaarea

blindarea

unknownarea

hidden/facadearea

Others’ observation

Known by others

Unknown by others

Tell

Johari window model

Self- disclosure/exposure SharedDiscovery

Feedback

solic

itati

on

Self-d

isco

very

Principles of change in the Johari window A change in one quadrant affects other

quadrants It takes energy to hide/deny/be blind to

behaviour that is involved in interaction Trust increases awareness Forced awareness is undesirable and

usually ineffective The smaller the open area, the poorer the

communication

Interpersonal learning means a change has taken place so the Q1 is larger and one or more of the other quadrants also has grown smaller.

Working with others is facilitated by a large enough area of free activity. An increased Q1 means more of the resources and skills in the relationships can be applied to a task.

There is universal curiosity about the Unknown area, but is held in check by custom, social training and diverse fears.

Sensitivity means appreciating the covert aspect of behaviour, in quadrant 2, 3 and 4, and respecting the desire of others to keep them so.

1

1

1

2

2

2

3

3

3

4

4

4

Under Condition of Self Disclosure

Under Condition of Feedback

Under Condition of Self Disclosure and Feedback

http://saweb.weber.edu/elibrary/StructuredExperience/PDF/P-FB/P-FB-1.pdf

Open

Hidden

Blind

Unknown

Initial phase of group interaction

Later phase of group interaction

Open

Hidden

Blind

Unknown

Feedback Purpose of feedback

Helps us see ourselves as others see usOthers learn how we see them In so doing, it helps us move towards our

goals Presupposes a caring, trusting

environment Which reduces defensivenessWhich maximises personal growth

The desire for feedback is often off-set by the fear of asking for such information

The appropriate way

Feedback should be given such that the person receiving it Hears it in the most objective, least distorted way

possible Understands it Retains the choice of using/not using it

People need to be trained to give feedback Should be given such that the recipient preserves

his/her self-esteem

Indirect versus direct expression of feelings Indirect is safer because it is ambiguous and offers an

escape from commitment and rejection

Description versus interpretation of behaviour Description focuses on observable aspects whereas

interpretation involves attributing intention and could be wrong

Non-evaluative versus evaluative feedback Non-evaluative looks at behaviour rather than

personal worth and refrains from value-judgments

Specific versus general feedback Specific gives you an opportunity to know what to

change

Freedom of choice to change versus pressure to changeFreedom of choice to change means that the

decision to act on the feedback is voluntary rather than imposed

Immediate versus delayed timing Immediate feedback is most effective since

memory is vivid External versus group feedback

Contingent on circumstances Solicited versus imposed feedback

Solicited is more useful since recipient is open

Modifiable versus unmodifiable behaviour Conscious desire to change is critical

Motivation to help versus motivation to hurtDisplacement and projection precipitate harm

and conflict Data-based versus impressionistic Positive and negative versus completely

negative Suggestive versus prescriptive Constructive versus destructive

Receiving feedback

Elicit versus wait Listening and self-analysis versus denial

and rationalisation Clarifying versus assuming

References

Assigned course readings http://www.noogenesis.com/game_theory/

johari/johari_window.html for Johari window

Benefits of knowing oneself

Self-awareness promotes personal growth, which in turn enhances overall functioning (including work performance)

Self-consciousness: The process of knowing oneself Existentialist orientation coupled with

personal courage and conviction Conducive socio-cultural environment Living comfortably with complexity and

contradiction Willingness and ability to change Time and energy for introspection

Open/Public Blind Spot

Hidden/Facade Area Unknown

Known To Self

Known To Others

Unknown To Others

Unknown To Self

The open-receptive person has a large public area, reflecting someone who is open about him/herself and receptive to feedback from others. This is the person who has a clear self-image and enough confidence in who he/she is to be visible to others. If in a management role, the open-receptive person has employees who tend to feel respected and encouraged to grow.

Johari Window: The Open-Receptive Person

Johari Window: The Pumper

Open/Public Blind Spot

Hidden/Facade Area Unknown

Known To Self

Known To Others

Unknown To Others

Unknown To Self

The pumper has a large hidden area, reflecting someone who keeps information with him/herself. This is a person who is always asking for information and giving little in return – the game player. If the pumper is in a management role, employees tend to feel defensive with and resentful of this individual.

Johari Window: The Blabbermouth

Open/

PublicBlind Spot

Hidden/

Facade Area

Unknown

Known To Self

Known To Others

Unknown To Others

Unknown To Self

The blabbermouth has a large blind area, reflecting someone who talks a lot but does not listen too well. This is the person who is pre-occupied with him/herself and doesn't know when to keep quiet. If the blabbermouth is in a management role, employees tend to get annoyed with this person and eventually will either actively or passively learn to shut him/her up.

Johari Window: The Hermit

Open/

PublicBlind Spot

Hidden/Facade

AreaUnknown

Known To Self

Known To Others

Unknown To Others

Unknown To Self

The hermit has a large unknown area, reflecting a lack of self-knowledge and understanding. This is a person you can’t figure out. The hermit’s behaviour tends to be unpredictable and security-oriented. If in a management role, employees tend to feel insecure and confused about expectations.