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72

The Language of

Business Writing

Business letters are an essential means of communication between organisations and their customers.

Because of their importance, business letters that are poorly written may waste considerable time and

money. Furthermore, carelessly written letters, which project a poor image of the writer, can result in

loss of another kind. A reader ’s negative reaction to an unclear or messy letter can cost a company an

important contract or an employee his or her job.

If so much hinges on the preparation of an acceptable letter, why do business people write letters atall? Why don’t they rely on the telephone instead, usually a quicker and an easier means of

communication? Indeed, a telephone call is often more appropriate than a letter, for instance, when an

immediate response is needed or when a person-to-person exchange might be more appropriate in

a touchy situation. However, there are times when a telephone call cannot replace a letter. This is

due to the following reasons:

• Letters provide a permanent, written record of a business transaction.

• Letters represent a commitment on the part of the writer, as the expression “put it in writing”

indicates.

• Letters provide travelling sales people and busy executives with a convenient way to receiveinformation and to respond. They can usually set aside time to answer their mail.

5

T O P I C O V E R V I E W

5.1 The Language of Business Writing

5.2 The Format of Business Letters

5.3 Business Letters

Summary

Glossary

Test 1

Test 2

References



73

• Letters that are carefully planned can create goodwill. Sometimes it can stimulate business

even in situations where customers or clients are dissatisfied with a product or service.

• When a message is complicated, and the writer wishes to reduce the possibility of

confusion, a letter can provide clear documentation of his or her position. Similarly, a letter is

ideal when the recipient of a message needs time to study it.

In this topic, we will be exploring both the learning and skills of business letter writing.

LEARNING OUTCOMES

By the end of this topic, you should be able to:

1. identify the essentials of business writing;

2. draft and write formal and effective business letters; and3. integrate the different types of business letters into one useful

communication tool.



74

ACTIVITY

How do you think

business letters

differ from other

types of formal letters?

MIND MAP

THE LANGUAGEOF BUSINESS WRITING

The Languageof Business Writing

Process of WritingBusiness Letters

Choice of Words andTone

Direct and IndirectPatterns

Paragraph andSentence Structure

Business Letters

Write your BusinessWriting in PlainEnglish

The Reader is your Priority

Short, Plain andStraight to the Point

Responding toEnquiries

Letter of Enquiry

The Format of Business Letters

Punctuation Styles/Grammar

Parts of a Letter/Layout

Block/Modified BlockLayout

A business letter differs in one important way from other kinds of job-related writing — it usuallyrepresents a direct communication between one person and another. We are in a very good position to

take our reader’s needs into account. If we ask ourselves, “How might I feel if I were the recipient of

such a letter?” we can gain some insight into the likely needs and feelings of our reader — and tailor

our message to fit those needs and feelings. Furthermore, we have a chance to build goodwill for our

business or organisation.

Many companies spend millions of Dinar to create a favourable public

image. A letter to a customer that sounds impersonal and unfriendly can

quickly tarnish that image, but a thoughtful letter that seems sincere can

greatly enhance it.

THE LANGUAGE OF BUSINESS WRITING 5.1



75

The process of writing business letters involves basically the same steps that go into most other on-the-job writing.

(a) First, establish your purpose, your reader ’s needs, and your scope.

(b) Second, prepare an outline. For a letter, an outline may involve a little more than jotting down on

a note pad, the points you wish to make and the order in which you wish to make them.

(c) Third, write a rough draft from the outline.

(d) Fourth, set the draft aside for a “cooling” period. The cooling period is especially important in

the case of a letter written in response to a problem. Business letters are not the place to vent

emotions. A cooling period, even if it is only a lunch hour, gives the writer a chance to remove

any hasty and inappropriate statements made in the heat of the situation. Always allow therough draft of a crucial letter to “cool” overnight before revising and mailing it — regardless

of the pressure to send it out right away. A slight delay, but an appropriate response is preferable

to an immediate reply that may cause misunderstanding later.

(e) In the fifth step, revising the rough draft, go over your work carefully, checking for sense as well

as grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Since format (the arrangement of the parts of a letter on

the page) is a basic element in letter writing, it is a good idea to type out a preliminary copy of

the letter on paper that is the same size as the stationery you will be using.

Set the computer at the margins you will use and, as you type, insert the correct spacing between

parts of the letter. If a typist or an assistant does the typing, be sure to check his or her work. You

will sign the letter, and therefore, you are responsible for its appearance and accuracy.

Suppose you are a department store manager who receives a request for a refund from a customer who

forgot to enclose the receipt with the request. In a letter to the customer, you might write:

• “The sales receipt must be enclosed with the merchandise before we can process the refund.”

However, if you consider how you might keep the goodwill of the customer, you might word the

request this way:

• “Please enclose the sales receipt with the merchandise, so that we can send your refund

promptly.”

Notice that the second version uses the word please and the active voice (“Please enclose the sales

receipt”), while the first version contains the passive voice (“The sales receipt must be enclosed”).

Process of Writing Business Letters 5.1.1

Choice of Words and Tone 5.1.2



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ACTIVITY

How crucial is the choice

of words and tone when it

comes to business writing?

Is it safe to say that words

and tone can either

“make or break” a

business letter? Share your

opinion on this with your

classmates.

Let’s go one step further. You can put the reader ’s needs and interests in the centre by writing from

the reader ’s point of view. Often, but not always, doing so means using the words you and your rather

than the words we, our, I, and mine. That is why the technique has been referred to as the “you”

attitude or “you” viewpoint. For example, consider the point of view of the original sentence in the

example given above:

• “The sales receipt must be enclosed with the merchandise before we can process the refund.”

The underlined words suggest that the point of view centres on the writer ’s need to process

the refund. Even the second version, although its tone is more polite and friendly, emphasises the

writer ’s need to get the receipt:

• “so we can send your refund promptly.”

The writer, of course, may want to get rid of the problem quickly.

However, what is the reader ’s interest? The reader is not interested in helping the business to

process its paperwork. He or she simply wants the refund. By emphasising that need, the writer

encourages the reader to act quickly. Consider the following revision, which is written from the

“you” viewpoint:

• “So you can receive your refund promptly, please enclose the sales receipt with the

merchandise.”

In this sentence, the reader ’s benefit is stressed as the reason he or she should act. Consider

another example:

• “So that we can complete our files records, please send your EA Form by March 10.”

Even though the recipient has little incentive to send the form, the “you” viewpoint can

suggest that the recipient’s interests are at stake:

• “So that your file is complete, please send your Form AA Form

by June 20.”

Be aware that both goodwill and the “you” viewpoint can be

overdone. Used thoughtlessly, both techniques can produce a fawning,

insincere tone — what might be called “plastic goodwill.” Look at the

following example:

• “Thank you so very much for ordering the Fila Apparels.

Obviously, you are a person of extraordinary judgement and

good taste. You are to be congratulated on your fine selection.

You are the kind of wonderful person who makes dressing a joy.

Please order with us again.”

In general, the active voice creates a friendlier, more courteous tone than the passive, which tends to sound impersonal

and unfriendly. Polite wording, such as the use of please, also helps to create goodwill.



77

ACTIVITY

Rewrite the following

statement to make it more

positive and less blunt.

I will not pay you because

you have not sent the

books. If you do not send

the right one right away, I

will not pay you at all.

Obviously, the language is full of false praise and sickening sweet phrases. Any attempt at goodwill

that is transparently insincere will be counterproductive. How should we rewrite the letter?

Readers form their impressions and attitudes very early in

letters. As an example, a university student who had applied for

a scholarship received a letter explaining that he or she had not

won it. The letter began:

“I am sorry, but you were not awarded the Foundation

Scholarship.”

In disappointment, the student threw the letter on his or her desk.

Three days later, he or she picked up the letter and read further. It

went to say that the committee thought his or her record was sostrong that he or she should call immediately if he or she

were interested in another, but lesser known, scholarship. The student called but was told that the other

scholarship had been awarded to someone else. Since the student had not called immediately,

everyone had assumed he or she was not interested.

It is more effective to present good news directly and bad news indirectly. Many readers do finish a

letter when bad news is presented at the outset, but they generally continue to read with a

predetermined opinion concerning what follows. They may be sceptical about an explanation, or

they may reject a reasonable alternative presented by the writer. Furthermore, even when we refuse a

request or say “no” one time, we may wish to work with the reader in the future. An abruptly

phrased rejection early in the letter may prevent us from re-establishing an amicable relationship.

Consider the thoughtlessness of the rejection letter in Figure 5.1 below.

Figure 5.1: Letter of rejection

Direct and Indirect Patterns 5.1.3

Mr. Badrul Hisham Aman

157, Jalan Pegawai

00000 Alor Setar, Kedah

Dear Mr. Badrul Hisham;

Your application for the position of account executive at Bara Group

of Companies has been rejected. We have found someone more qualified

than you.

Sincerely,

Antionne De Cruz

Human Resource Manager



78

ACTIVITY

Rewrite the following

passage to make it

friendlier.

I wrote for the CD youadvertised on television,

and not only did it take six

weeks to get here, but it

was the wrong CD. Can’t

you get anything right?

I’m cancelling payment

on my cheque and

sending this CD back!

Although the letter is direct and uses the pronouns you and your, the writer has apparently not

considered how the recipient will feel as he reads the letter. There is no expression of regret that Mr.

Badrul Hisham Aman is being rejected for the position, nor any appreciation of his efforts in

applying for the job; “Sincerely” at the close almost seems hostile. The letter is, in short,

RUDE. The pattern for this letter is bad news/ explanation/close.

One way of writing a bad news letter is to manipulate

paragraph/sentence structure. A

better, general structure of writing a bad news letter is as follows:

• Buffer.

• Bad news.

• Goodwill.

The “buffer” may be either neutral information or an explanation

that makes the bad news understandable. Bad news is never

pleasant. However, information that either puts the bad news in

perspective or makes the bad news seem reasonable maintains

goodwill between the writer and the reader.

Consider the revision of the previous rejection letter to Mr.

Badrul Hisham Aman in Figure 5.2.

Paragraph/Sentence Structure 5.1.4


157, Jalan Pegawai

00000Alor Setar, Kedah


Buffer

Thank you for your time and effort in applying for the position of account

executive at Bara Group of Companies.

Bad NewsSince we needed someone who can assume the duties here with a minimum of

training, we have selected an applicant with over ten years of experience.

Goodwill

I am sure that with your excellent university record you will find a position in

another office.

Sincerely,

Antionne De Cruz




79

ACTIVITY

Based on your

understanding, why is

it effective to present

good news directly

and bad news

indirectly? What are

the reasons behind

this?

Figure 5.2: Revised letter of rejection

This letter carries the same disappointing news as the first, but the writer is careful to thank the reader

for his time and effort, to explain why he was not accepted for the job, and to offer him encouragement

in finding a position in another office.

Presenting good news is, of course, easier. It is important to

remember that good news should be presented earlier, at the

outset, if possible. The pattern for good news business letters

should be as follows:

• Good news.

• Explanation or facts.

• Goodwill.

By presenting the good news first, we increase the likelihood thatthe reader will pay careful attention to details, and you achieve

goodwill from the start. Here is an example of a “good news” letter in Figure 5.3.

Figure 5.3: Letter of good news


157, Jalan Pegawai

00000Alor Setar, Kedah


Good News

Please accept our offer of the position of account executive at Bara Group of

Companies.

Explanation

If the terms we discussed in the interview are acceptable to you, please come

in at 9:30 a.m. on November 15. At that time we will ask you to complete our

personnel form, in addition……..

Goodwill

I, as well as the others in the office, look forward to working with you.

Everyone was very favourably impressed with you during your interviews.

Sincerely,

Antionne De Cruz




80

ACTIVITY

Revise the following

passage to make it

clearer and less

pretentious.

With reference to and in

connection with your

recent car accident, I have

been unable to contact you

due to the fact that I have

been in Kota Tinggi,

Johor on work-related

business. I should be back

in the office in the

neighbourhood of the 15th

or so. In the unforeseen

and unlikely event that I

should be delayed, you

can utilise Mr. Rashid, of

my office, who will also

endeavour on your behalf

Additional tips will help us to achieve the correct structure that builds

goodwill with the reader:

(a) Be Respectful, not Demanding

CHANGE: Submit your answer in one week.

TO: I would appreciate receiving your answer within

one week.

(b) Be Modest, not Arrogant

CHANGE: My report is thorough, and I am sure that you

would not be able to continue efficiently without it.

TO: I have tried to be as thorough as possible in my

report, and I hope you find it useful.

(c) Be Polite, not Sarcastic CHANGE: I just received the shipment we ordered six month

ago. I am sending it back – we cannot use it now.

Thanks!

TO: I am returning the shipment we ordered on March

12, 2005. Unfortunately, it arrived too late for us to be able

to use it.

(d) Be Positive and Tactful, not Negative and Condescending

CHANGE: Your complaint about our prices is way off target. Our prices are definitely not

any higher than those of our competitors.

TO: Thank you for your suggestion concerning our prices. We believe, however, that

our prices are competitive with, and in some cases below, those of our competitors.

Letter writing style may legitimately vary from informal (in a letter to a close business associate) to

formal or restrained (in a letter to someone you do not know).

We will find ourselves relying on the restrained style more frequently than the informal. Consider the

letter shown in Figure 5.4. The excessively formal writing style is full of largely out-of-date business

jargon; expressions like query (for request or question), I wish to state, be advised that , and herewith

are both old-fashioned and pretentious. Good business letters today have a more personal, down-to-

earth style, as the revision of the letter in Figure 5.5. illustrates.

THE FORMAT OF BUSINESS LETTERS 5.2



81

Figure 5.4: Poor business letter writing style

The revised version is not only less stuffy, but more concise. Being concise in writing is important, but

do not be so concise as to be blunt. If we respond to a written request that we cannot understand with

“Your request was unclear” or “I do not understand your question”, we will probably offend our

reader. Instead of attacking the writer ’s ability to phrase a request, consider that what you are really

doing is asking for more information.

Instead, say “I will need more information before I can answer your request. Specifically, can you give

me the title and the date of the report you are looking for?” The second version is a little longer than

the first, but it is both more polite and more helpful.

Apex Laboratories

327 Persiaran Damai, 00000 Damansara Utama

(603) 7433-6218

e-mail: [email protected]

September 7, 2004

Mr. Jasdev Singh

772, Jalan Kelana

46000 Petaling Jaya

Dear Mr. Jasdev;

In response to your query, I wish to state that we no longer have an original copy

of the brochure requested. Be advised that a photographic reproduction is enclosed

herewith.

Address further correspondence to this office for assistance as required.

Yours sincerely,

Ahmad Mastor Ali

AMA:knt

Enclosure



82

Figure 5.5: Better business letter writing style

Even if you are writing a business letter to a close associate, you should always follow the rules of

standard grammar, spelling and punctuation. More so, to someone you do not know.

Punctuation, grammar and spelling are the mechanics of writing. In business, accuracy and attention

to detail are equated with carefulness and reliability. The kindest conclusion a reader can

come to about a letter containing mechanical errors is that the writer was careless. Do not give your

reader cause to form such a conclusion.

Almost all business letters have at least five major parts:

• heading;

• inside address;

• salutation;

• body; and

• complimentary close.

Apex Laboratories

327, Persiaran Damai, 00000Damansara Utama

(603) 7433-6218


September 7, 2004

Mr. Jasdev Singh

772, Jalan Kelana

46000 Petaling Jaya

Dear Mr. Jasdev;

Because we are currently out of original copies of our brochure, I am sending you a

photocopy of it.

If I can be of further help, please let me know. Sincerely,

Ahmad Mastor Ali

AMA:knt

Enclosure

Punctuation Styles/Grammar 5.2.1

Parts of a Letter/Layout 5.2.2



83

According to variations in the alignment of the parts on the page, letters may be of one format or

another. If your employer recommends or requires a particular format and typing style, use it.

Otherwise, follow the guideline provided in this topic.

(a) Heading

The heading is the writer ’s full address and the date. The writer ’s name is not includedin the heading because it appears at the end of the letter. The date usually goes directly beneath

the last line of the address. Do not abbreviate the name of the month. If we are writing on

company letterhead, omit the heading. Type in only the date, placing it two double spaces above

the inside address.

Example: April 8, 2005

Heerud’s Merchandising PTL

P.O.Box1406,

Manama, Bahrain.

(b) Inside Address

The inside address is the recipient’s full name and address. Begin the inside address a double

space below the date if the letter is long, or on the fifth line below the date if the letter is quite

short. The inside address should be flushed with, or aligned with, the left margin. The left margin

should be at least one inch wide. Include the reader ’s full name and title (if you know them) and

his or her full address, with the postal code.

Example: Hajj Badrullah Al-Ghafoor

19A-G, Lindastraat,

Enschede, 78990 Netherlands

(c) Salutation

Place the salutation (or greeting) two spaces below the inside address, also flushed with the left

margin. In most business letters, the salutation contains the recipient’s title (Mr., Miss), name,

followed by a colon or semi-colon. If we are on a first-name basis with the recipient, we would

include his or her title and full name in the inside address but use only the first name in the

salutation.

Examples: Dear Hajj Badrullah Al-Ghafoor;

Dear Captain Masrun:

Dear Dr. Haider Abbas;

For women who do not have a professional title, use Ms. (for either a married or an unmarried

woman). If the woman has expressed a preference for Miss or Mrs., honour her preference.

In cases where you do not know whether the recipient is a man or a woman, you may use a title

appropriate to the context of the letter.



84

Examples:

Dear Customer;

Dear Homeowner;

Dear Credit Card Holder;

When writing to large companies or organisations and we do not know the name or the title of the recipients, we often address the letter to an appropriate department in the attention line or

identify the subject in a subject line in place of a salutation.

Examples: National Business System

Lot. 1234, Mak Mandin Industrial Estate

00000 Seberang Prai Tengah

Pulau Pinang

Attention: Customer Relations Department

I am returning 3,000 calculators we purchased that failed to operate when…….

(d) The Body

The body of the letter is what the letter is about. Begin the body two spaces below the salutation.

Use single space within paragraphs and double space between paragraphs.

If a letter is very short and you want to suggest a fuller appearance, you may double- space

throughout and indicate paragraphs by indenting the first line of each paragraph five

spaces from the left. The right margin should be approximately as wide as the left margin. In

very short letters you may increase both margins to about an inch and a half.

(e) Complimentary Close

Start the complimentary close, a double space below the body. Use a standard expression

like Yours truly, Sincerely, or Yours sincerely. You can use a less formal close like Best wishes

or Best regards if the recipient is a friend as well as business associate. Only the first word of the

complimentary close is capitalised, and the expression is followed by a comma. Leave two

double spaces below the complimentary close and type your full name and aligned at the left

with the close.

On the next line you may type in your business title, if it is appropriate to do so. Then sign your

name in the space between the complimentary close and typed name.

Example:Yours truly,

(signature)

Rashdan Harun

Production Manager

(f) Additional Information

Business letters sometimes require additional information: the typist’s initials, an enclosure

notation, or a notation that a copy of the letter is being sent to one or more named people. All this

information should be flushed left with the margin, a double space below the last line of thecomplimentary close in a long letter, or two double spaces below in a short letter.



85

Typist’s initials follow two basic patterns. No matter which style you choose, the letter writer ’s

initials should appear in capital letters and the typist’s initials should appear in lower-case letters.

When the writer is also the typist, no initials are needed.

Examples: NTYN/nr

Or

NTYN:nr

Enclosure notations, which indicate that the letter writer is sending material along with the letter,

may take several forms. Choose the form that seems most helpful to your readers.

Examples: Enclosure: Preliminary report

Or

Enclosures (2)Or

Encs.(two or more items)

Or

Enc. (a single item)

A copy notation tells the reader that a copy of the letter is being sent to one or more named

individuals.

Example:

Cc: Ms. Khadijah Ibrahim

Mr. Leman Kulob

If a letter requires a second page, carry at least two lines of the body over to page 2. Do not use a

continuation page to type only the complimentary close of the letter. The second page should have a

heading too, containing the recipient’s name, the page number, and the date. Never use a letterhead for

a second page. The heading may be at the upper-left corner or across the page.

Examples: Haji Mohd Ilias Bin Ahmad

Page 2

May 31, 2005Or

Haji Mohd Ilias Bin Ahmad 2 May 31, 2005

The two common styles of business letters are the full block and the modified block. In the full block

style, every line begins at the left margin and is suitable only with letterhead stationery. See the

example in Figure 5.6.

Block/Modified Block Layout 5.2.3



86

In the modified block style, the return address, date, and complimentary close are placed to

the right of the centre of the page (see Figure 5.7). The remaining elements are aligned at the left

margin. All other letter styles are variations of these two basic styles.

Figure 5.6 : Full Block letter style (with letterhead)

Dhari & Associates

No. 44 The Boulevard, Mid Valley CityLingkaran Syed Putra, 59200 Kuala Lumpur

(603) 2287 0000


May 15, 2005

Mr. Nagel Gupta Director of Operations KL Transit Authority

Putra World Trade Centre

55555 Kuala Lumpur

Dear Mr. Gupta;

Enclosed is our final report evaluating the safety measures for the KualaLumpur Intercity Transit System.

We believe that the report covers the issues you raised and that it is self-

explanatory. However, if you have any further questions, we would be happy to meet

with you at your convenience.

We would also like to express our appreciation to Mr. Chan Meng Kong of your

committee for his generous help.

Sincerely,

(Signature)

Abd. Rahman Madon, Ph. D.

Director of Research

ARM/nr

Enclosure: Final Safety Report

Cc: ITS Safety Committee Members



87

ACTIVITY

Bring to class one business

letter that you believe is

well written and one that

is poorly written. Beprepared to explain your

reasons for thinking that

one is better than the

other. If you are working

full or part-time, you may

be able to find letters in

your office. Alternatively,

obtain letters from

friends or relatives, or

find examples among

the correspondence you

received in the mail.

Figure 5.7 : Modified Block letter style (without letterhead)

Effective letter writing boils down to knowing why you

are writing a letter, understanding your reader ’s needs and

then clearly writing what you need to say. Every letter should be

clear, helpful and as friendly as the topic allows. The best letters

have a conversational tone and read as if you were talking to your

reader. When you write a letter, you are trying to convincesomeone to act or react in a positive way. Your reader will respond

quickly only if your meaning is crystal clear. Business letters must

be reader- friendly, irrespective of the institution or company that

you are writing to. Remember that they are your clients and you

need them as much as they need you.

Being reader-friendly means that you as a writer will show that

you are interested in the reader ’s circumstances. Mutual interest

benefits both you and the reader. So, write in a friendly manner;

thus, you can build a bridge between you and the reader.

Many business writing experts believe that good businessletters must have the following criteria as shown in Figure 5.8.

254B, Jalan Perak

40000 Pulau Pinang

December 8, 2005

Dr. Abd. Rahman Madon

Director of ResearchDhari & Associates

No. 44 The Boulevard, Mid Valley City

Lingkaran Syed Putra, 59200 Kuala Lumpur

Dear Dr. Abd. Rahman;

Thank you very much for allowing me to tour your testing facilities. The

information I gained from the tour will be of great help to me in preparing the report

for my class at OUM. The tour has also given me some insight into the work I may

eventually do as a laboratory technician.

I especially appreciated the time and effort Mr. Francis Lampek spent in

showing me your facilities. His comments and advice were most helpful.

Again, thank you.

Sincerely,

(Signature)

Husna Rasheed

BUSINESS LETTERS 5.3



88

THINK

Based on what you

have learnt thus far,

what do you think

should be the

hallmarks of a good

business letter?

Criteriaof Good

BusinessLetters

Clear

Concise

Correct

CourteousConversational

Convincing

Complete

Figure 5.8: Criteria of good business letters

A good letter is better understood if it is clear, the language is

simple and there are no errors. In addition, if the tone is friendly,

courteous and convincing, it will make the letter more sincere and

helpful.

A good piece of writing makes you want to continue reading. It is clear and concise, the sentences are

short and brief, and the words are simple. Plain English means simple English. You do not have

to use complex words or passive verbs to make your writing good. Just use plain and clear English.

A good writer always uses active verbs. To him it is of good writing and the key to success.

As far as possible, avoid using passive verbs because they are long-winded, ambiguous,

impersonal and dull. Active verbs are simple, formal, clear and precise.

Use Plain English in Business Writing 5.3.1



89

Example:

Passive: It was agreed by the cabinet…

Active: The cabinet agreed…

Sentence length is crucial in writing. Normal sentence length is between 15 and 20 words. This does

not mean that every sentence should be based on that length. We usually vary our sentence length to

keep it balanced. The following sentences show the difference; the first one is longer than the second.

Example:

“I refer to my letter of 14th June 2005 and am writing to advise you that if we do not receive

your completed application form within the next two weeks, we shall have no alternative but to

terminate your contract with our company”. (A long sentence with 40 words)

“I have not yet received your reply to my letter of 14th June 2005. If we do not receive your completed application form within two weeks, we will stop your contract with our company.”

(Two sentences: 11 words and 20 words)

Always use simple words in your writing. Instead of using everyday words, writers tend to use

complex or unfamiliar words. Remember, the more you use simple, everyday words, the better the

reader will understand your message.

For example, compare the following two statements; see whether you can pinpoint the difference.

Which one is complex and which one is simple?

Example:

“As we noted in the preceding section, if you purchased additional printer options, such as the

second printer tray, it is a requirement to verify its correct installation”.

“As we noted in the previous section, if you bought extra printer equipment, such as second

printer tray, you must check to install it correctly”.

Many writers tend to say “ padding is the enemy of good writing ”. It is true because we always use

unnecessary words and phrases that clutter up sentences and obscure meaning. In contrast, economy

of words is the mark of good writing. By minimising the use of unnecessary words and phrases, you not

only save your energy but you make every word count.

You must also avoid jargon and technical terms in your writing. Sometimes you need to use your

discretion on the need to use your industry’s technical terms or jargon. Do not have a preconceived

notion of your readers’ understanding of the terms because they may have the faintest idea of the true

definitions. Try not to put your customer in a tight spot by asking a third person the meaning of the

terms that you have used. For example, “Do you know the meaning of this word? What does this word

mean? Can somebody help me?”

Next, try to avoid abbreviations. The most common and irritating form of jargon is again, overuse of

these terms as shown in Table 5.1.



90

ACTIVITY

Bear in mind the following

tips when writing business

letters.

• Use active verbs rather

than passive verbs.

• Keep your average

sentence length low.

• Use simple words

rather than complex

ones.

• Edit wordy phrases.

• Avoid jargon andtechnical terms.

• Avoid abbreviations.

• Avoid abstract words

and phrases.

Table 5.1: Examples of Abbreviations

Acronym Meaning

KISS Keep it short stupid

DBS Don’t be smart

YTWC Your time will come

WPL Words per line

Finally, there is a tendency to overuse abstract words. We tend to feel

that the more we use abstract words, the better our letter will be. It is

not so. In technical writing, try to avoid abstract words. For example, try to use less of words like device, output or facility. Such

words sound so abstract that sometimes they become meaningless to

the reader. The following are some of the words that you should

avoid in technical writing.

Example:

concepts functions resources processes

elements variables amenity sectors

To the business community, the most important people are the clients; your customers who happen to be your readers, and who will read your letter. This means if you keep your readers in mind when you

first start writing your letter, you are bound to set your tone. You will find the correct one, use

appropriate language and insert just enough facts

or information to suit your audience.

As a writer and at times a reader, you want to know what your readers are interested in. What do they

want from you? As stated earlier, they want to get the relevant information, which should be clear,

precise and easy to understand. They do not want muddled thinking (do not want to know things

that they already know). Neither do they want to read a text which is full of trade jargon, puns and

riddles. They want straight answers from you, something which is easy to understand in one reading.

So, if you always keep your readers in mind, you will write only what they want and you will adapt

your style and content accordingly to meet their requests.

The Reader is Your Priority 5.3.2



91

ACTIVITY

When writing business

letters, why is it

essential for us to

always keep the

reader’s interest in

mind? What happens

if we fail to do so?

As a reminder, always come up with questions to get a clear picture

of readers when you write them a letter. The following questions

will be helpful:

• Who are my readers?• What is their prior knowledge about the subject?

• What do they already know?

• What do they want to know?

• How much do they want to know?

• What prejudices do they have?

• What other things do I need to include?

• What sort of language should I use?

When you write a business letter, try not to waste your reader ’s time. You need to ask yourself the

aim and purpose in writing the letter. What do I want to get from this letter? Why am I writing this

letter? Have a clear mind and keep focused on the information that supports your main aim. Once you

know that you are in focus, cut the content in half for a shorter version. Always keep in mind that

people read to get information that is precise and useful. The more specific information you give, the

better it is for your reader. It would be better if you come up with a guideline or outline plan.

Hopefully, the following steps would be of assistance to you.

(a) Draw up a list of possible topics that you can think of.

(b) Next to each topic, jot down the key words, examples, issues, figures and facts.

(c) Go through each to find its relevancy with regards to your aims and purposes.

(d) Delete those topics/subjects which are not suitable or irrelevant to your aim and your reader.

(e) The information outlined should be ordered according to priority.

Changes may be made to your original plan at any stage; again, keep things in focus. Write the way

you speak. This does not mean that you should write in dialects, slang or jargon. In terms of language

use, the following writing styles may be adopted.

• Use contractions.• Use personal references.

• Use direct questions.

Use of contractions will add the human touch; the close, personal and human feel to your writing. This

does not mean that you have to use lots of contractions. Use only when necessary and where

appropriate.

In the use of personal references, use words such as I, we, you, your, my and our in your writing.

Identify yourself, this should make your writing readable. When you use personal references,

you are, in a way; avoiding the use of passive verbs, which is good in business writing. This will make

your style of writing more direct and clear.

Short, Plain and Straight to the Point 5.3.3



92

Direct questions are an essential part of spoken language. Using them gives your writing more impact

and is a common technique in marketing and advertising material. Marketing people use this

technique to put information across clearly and to give their writing impact. Apart from making your

style more conversational, direct questions liven up your writing — it can be likened to changing your

pitch of voice. There is nothing like a direct question to get a reaction from your reader and to give

your writing impact.

An enquiry is written to ask for more information concerning a product, a programme, service or other

information about a product or service that interests us. These letters are often written in response to

an advertisement that we have seen in a newspaper, magazine, a TV commercial or radio

announcement, or when we are interested in purchasing a product/programme and would like more

information before making a decision.

When you write, remember to insert your company’s address at the top of the letter if you are not

using your company letterhead. Also write the date and other relevant information. The following

are some important facts pertaining to language use in a letter of enquiry.

(a) The Beginning

Dear Sir, Madam, Ms, Mr, Mssr, Dr. (if they carry such titles).

(b) Giving Reference

With reference to your advertisement (ad) in the Straits Times dated 14th June, Tuesday

2005… Regarding your advertisement in the Star dated 9th May, 2005… could you…

(c) Requesting a Catalogue, Brochure, etc. After the reference, add a comma and continue… would (could) you please send me …

(d) Requesting Further Information

I would like to know … Could you tell me whether…

(e) Signature

Yours Faithfully – (very formal as you do not know the person whom you are writing

to).

Figure 5.9 illustrates a sample of a letter of enquiry.

Letter of Enquiry 5.3.4



93

Figure 5.9: Example of a letter of enquiry

It is very important to make an impression when responding to enquiries from potential customers,

local or otherwise. Treat them equally and with grace. Of course, the best impression will be

made by providing the materials or information that the perspective client has asked for, and this

positive impression will be improved by a well-written response.

Remember to place your company’s address at the top of the letter (or use your company’s

letterhead) followed by the address of the company or person you are writing to. The date can either be

placed double space down or to the right. You can also include a reference number for

correspondence. Let’s look at the sample in Figure 5.10.

Adnin Sarlis Alias,

3/102 Salamanca Rd, Kelburn,

Wellington, New Zealand.

Ms Sabariah Ahmad,

14th June 2005

With reference to your advertisement in the Straits Times dated 9th May 2005, could you

please send me a copy of your latest catalogue? I would also like to know if it is possible to

make purchases online.

Yours faithfully,

(Signature)

Responding to Enquiries 5.3.5



94

Figure 5.10: Sample of a response to letter of enquiry

SUMMARY

To sum up, the topic discussed at length the language of business writing, the business of writing business letters, choice of words and language toners. Inclusive are discussions on format and content

of business letters. We have seen that business letter writing needs to be carefully scrutinised to make

it presentable, simple and likeable.

Adnin Sarlis Alias

3/102 Salamanca Road

Kelburn, Wellington

New Zealand

Elliot JuddSenior Executive

English Language Centre,

1033, Jalan Putera, Kuala Lumpur

June 15th, 2005

Dear Ms Adnin

Thank you for your enquiry of 9th January asking for the latest edition of our

ESL catalogue.

We are pleased to enclose our latest brochure. We would also like to inform you that it

is possible to make purchases online at http://www.Juddesl.com.

We look forward to welcoming you as our customer. Yours sincerely,

(Signature)

G L O S S A R Y

Buffer — A buffer is something that prevents something else from

being harmed or that prevents two things from harming

each other.

Capitalised — If you capitalised on a situation, you used it to gain some

advantage for yourself.

Client — A client of a professional person or organisation is a person

or company that receives a service from them in return for

payment.

Courteous — Someone who is courteous is polite and respectful to other

people.

Modified — If you modify something, you change it slightly, usually

in order to improve it.

Priority — If something is a priority, it is the most important thing you

have to do or deal with or must be done or dealt withbefore everything else you have to do.

Refund — A refund is a sum of money which is returned to you. For

example, you have paid too much or because you have



9

TEST 1

As a personnel director of a multi-national company, respond to a letter enquiring about your new

product in the market. The enquirer wishes to be an agent for the product and wishes to know more

about it and other related matters.

TEST 2

As a writer, you also write to inform others about your product. This is done to gain your readers’

attention. Write an effective opening paragraph showing both the headline and the head of the message

to inform your readers of the product. Insert everything that they need to know and why.

REFERENCES

Bailey, E. P. (1997). Plain English at work . New York: Oxford University Press.

Blake, G., & Robert, W. B. (1991). The elements of business writing . NY: Maxwell Macmillan

International.

Cypres, L. (1999). Let’s speak business English. Hauppauge, N.Y: Barron’s Educational Series.

Elser, A. G. (1990). Writing from scratch: For business. Savage, MD: Rowman and Littlefield.

Geffner, A. P. (1998). Business English. Hauppauge, N.Y: Barron’s Educational Series.

Guffey, M. A. (2000). Business communication: Process and product (3rd ed.). Cincinnati: SouthWestern College Publishing.

Morris, W., & Morris, M. (1985). Harper dictionary of contemporary usage. Cambridge: Harper and

Row.

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