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For Laney

Not too long ago in a magical kingdom not too far away there lived an unconforming umbrella.

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Most umbrellas took pride in doing a good job of keeping the good folks underneath them dry. That isn’t to say that this unconforming umbrella didn’t like to keep people dry, he just liked the rain so much that instead of forming a shell that the rain would slide off of and fall

away, he would spread open like a flower to catch all of that lovely rain water.

However, this was very inconvenient for the good folks holding him. You see, you can only hold an upside down umbrella so long in the rain

before it gets too heavy to hold anymore. 5

So they would constantly have to tip him over to pour out the nice rainwater, much to the unconforming umbrella’s disappointment.

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Now, seeing as how this was a magical kingdom not too far away you won’t be surprised that the umbrellas could talk. Well, not so much talk as make sounds to let people know how they felt, so every time the unconforming umbrella was lifted up he would giggle with happiness and sigh with contentment as he slowly filled up with wonderfully lovely rainwater.

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And every time the good folks holding him tipped him over would whimper in sadness. And on the occasions that the good folks holding him tried to bend him down to be like all the other umbrellas he would growl at them. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to be like the other umbrellas, it was because he couldn’t bare the thought of being able to touch all that lovely rain and never be able to hold any of it.

GRRrrrr..

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Now, being a magic umbrella he could also understand what the good folks said to him, but try as they might they couldn’t convince the unconforming umbrella to bend down. No amount of coercion, bribery, or begging could convince the unconforming umbrella to change his ways. He would simply ignore or hrumph at the good folks and merrily spread his flap to welcome the lovely rain to rest within his

affectionate bowl.

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When the good folks saw that all their efforts to change the unconforming umbrella’s strange ways were in vain it was with heavy hearts that they put him in Mr. Finchley’s yard. Their hearts were heavy because they knew all magical creatures deserved to live, in fact they were needed to make the world beautiful and interesting. But if they

weren’t doing what they were supposed to then their beauty was out of place, and what the good folks would call unattractive. That’s when they put the magical creatures in Mr. Finchley’s yard. Being put in Mr. Finchley’s yard was so

terrible because Mr. Finchley didn’t believe in magic. And everyone knows that if a magical creature’s owner doesn’t believe in them, they die. For magic cannot exist without belief in it.

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And so the unconforming umbrella lay in Mr. Finchley’s yard, growing sadder as the weeks went by. Trying still to reach out and catch the lovely rain, but unable to do so because it was lying on its side. It grew colder. Its colors faded, and eventually it even lacked the strength to whimper. But the unconforming umbrella didn’t want to die, so it lay very still, hoping that one day someone would come and hold him towards the sky again.

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Now one might think Mr. Finchley a bad man for not believing in magic, but this isn’t true. He just didn’t see a need for it. He got along just fine by himself, and he didn’t need any strange creatures confusing him, so he just ignored magic until he forgot what it felt like. And when you forget what something feels like, you stop believing it’s real. So in a way, Mr. Finchley was just like all the magical creatures that ended up outside his home. Different from everyone else like him. Beautiful in his own way, but misunderstood.

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One day

Mr. Finchley got up, grumbling

as usual, slipped his feet into his non magical

slippers (for they did not sigh in contentment at

snuggling with footsies), slid on his non magical robe

(which did not hum with joy at the morningtime), and

shuffled down the stairs to make his morning bowl of hot

porridge.

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As he was eating it he wondered over to his front window planning to gaze out at the mundane, perfectly normal world in which he lived, but instead found his eyes continuously being drawn to an umbrella that had recently appeared in his yard. It was strange, not that an umbrella had appeared, strange things were always appearing in his yard, an upside down umbrella being the least of them. What was strange was that it was still there. Normally when something appeared in his yard it would disappear almost as quickly. But not this umbrella. It did not fade away. If he had to describe the way it looked though, he would have said tired. Which was silly because umbrellas don’t get tired. But there it was, colors faded to almost grey, drooping down like it no longer had the strength to hold itself upright. In fact, if he absolutely had to put an emotion to that umbrella and how it looked, he would have called it a sad umbrella, like something that had fought for too long and was about to give up. Suddenly Mr. Finchley realized how silly his thoughts were and shook himself, finished his porridge, and got ready for work. But on his way through the yard he found himself looking at the umbrella again, and the same when he came home that evening. Still there the umbrella sat, and Mr. Finchley could not get it out of his head.

Then one day Mr. Finchley had an idea…

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The unconforming umbrella was sooo tired. He had been laying in Mr. Finchley’s yard forever. He didn’t think anyone would ever hold him again. In fact, he could tell that no one even cared. For such was the fate of a magical creature in Mr. Finchley’s yard. The unconforming umbrella was so sad. He would never get to hold the lovely rain again. As the unconforming umbrella thought these terribly sad thoughts he was about to fade away, when suddenly…THERE…..yes, there it was again! But no, it couldn’t be. Someone was thinking about him! Not quite believing but trying to! Who!? Who could it be? Surely not Mr. Finchley. Because Mr. Finchley didn’t believe in magic. But there was somebody out there who for some unknowable reason was thinking about the

unconforming umbrella, and hoping, just the tiniest bit, that he was okay. Well this gave the unconforming umbrella just enough strength to stay alive, not grow stronger, but stay alive. The unconforming umbrella was so grateful he almost had the ability to sigh. And so he lay, no getting better, but not going away. Until one day the strangest thing happened. Mr. Finchley picked the unconforming umbrella up!

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That would have been strange enough but then Mr. Finchley did something even stranger. He twisted the unconforming umbrella’s handle OFF! If the unconforming umbrella hadn’t been so surprised he would have hrumphed at Mr. Finchley. But Mr. Finchley’s strange actions didn’t stop there. After he had twisted the handle off he knelt down on the ground and started pushing the unconforming umbrella’s rod into the soil! Now this was just absurd. What did Mr. Finchley think he was doing? I’m an umbrella! Thought the unconforming umbrella. How can I keep the lovely rain off of you if I’m stuck in the ground? But it was rather delightfully squishy and moist ground. After the unconforming umbrella was firmly lodged into the earth he heard Mr. Finchley say, “There! If you’re not going to disappear then at least you’ll be useful now.” The words sounded harsh but the unconforming umbrella knew Mr. Finchley was smiling, and with an affectionate rub of his fingers on the unconforming umbrella’s flap Mr. Finchley stood up and went inside. Well, the unconforming umbrella had no idea what that was all about but at least he felt more alive than he had in who knows how long. He even had enough strength to hum and wonder what on earth Mr. Finchley was thinking. Well time passed and as the magical kingdom that was not too far away was wont to do, it started to rain, and wouldn’t you know it, the unconforming umbrella was asleep when it started, but after a few wonderful drops hit his outstretched flap he jolted right

awake. Could it be? Yes! The lovely rain was tickling his flap again oh so sweetly. And he could feel it lovingly fill his bowl once again. It was heaven for the unconforming

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umbrella. But even though it felt sooo nice and refreshing he still didn’t understand why Mr. Finchley had stuck him in the ground that way. When the lovely rain stopped falling something new happened. A different creature fell right into all that lovely rainwater the unconforming umbrella was holding! The unconforming umbrella hrumphed quite indignantly at this new tiny creature. To which he was answered with two new kerplumps in the lovely rain water. What was going on! The kerplumps could tell that the unconforming umbrella was upset, so they started to sing to make him feel better. Then the singing brought more kerplumps! And more singing. But the singing was so pretty and happy that the unconforming umbrella couldn’t stay mad for long. It was then that he realized the kerplumps were birdies! Beautiful little birdies that had come to share his lovely rainwater. The unconforming umbrella finally understood what Mr. Finchley had done. He had turned the unconforming umbrella into a little bird bath. And so, as a rainbow formed while the lovely rain cleared away, Mr. Finchley, eating his morning porridge, looked out his front window at his happy little unique bird bath, and smiled.

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