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Greetings Source readers! It’s May and it’s the Local Issue. This is the month that all the warm blooded creatures jet off to find warmer climates. The snow bunnies are still saving their pennies and haven’t turned up yet. This means that we get OUR town back.

But is it our town? Who does it belong to? Sure, when the seasonal crew clocks out and us lifers are left behind it is a hell of a lot easier to find a place to park and get a seat in a cafe. But just because we’re here does that make us local?

Big questions kids. You’ll also notice that the theme is local - not locals. Big difference. Local is about the world around you - what you love, what you hold dear. Locals are generally assholes who are too cool for school. So what are you?

This month Ned delves into what it takes to actually become a Queenstown local. Adam tells it like it was being a Yank on the job. Queenstown Rocks shines a light on who’s rocking locally. The C-Word talks about baby Kiwis, Greenpeace reminds us to look at the big picture and keep it local - nice.

Are you a local? You might be pleasantly surprised what you find. Right on - read on.

Source out.

Snow bunnies come out to play

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Pants safe A safe way to store cash and other valuables. Most safes eventually get cracked. But something that most burglars wouldn’t want to even touch would be a stained pair of briefs. They look disgusting but they do the job. They have a 4” x 10” secret compartment with velcro enclosure which can secure your cash, documents and other small valuables. Quite ingenious really!

Human chemistry The average human body contains enough iron to make a 3 inch nail, sulfur to kill all fleas on the average dog, carbon to make 900 pencils, potassium to fire a toy cannon, fat to make 7 bars of soap, phosphorous to make 2,200 match heads and water to fill a ten gallon tank. The average person also produces 23,650 litres of spit in a lifetime, enough to fill two swimming pools.

triviatime technofile

For a lot of people living in Queenstown, the term ‘local’ is used both as a badge of honour and as a huge chip on the shoulder. Personally, I believe that outside our beautiful little bubble, being a local is purely subjective according to your situation. It has never been easier to keep in contact with your international friends and family and to stay connected to your global community. After all, in a town with such a high transient population, home is not necessarily where you lay your head at night but where you leave your heart. Home may not be where you live but it is where you belong and some people may spend an entire

lifetime trying to work out where that is. In the meantime, we collect friends and adopt a travelling family and surround ourselves with people who make us feel at home wherever we are. For many of us for a big part of our lives being able to feel like a local all over the world will be one of our greatest achievements.Erin from Winnies.

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When it comes to entertainment, the local music scene has plenty on offer almost every night of the week. But just who are these hardworking acts that pack resort bars all year round? Here, The Source profiles some of the hottest bands in town…SHay & Pearly The hot duo, comprising powerhouse vocalist Pearly McGrath and singer/bassist Shay Muddle, also perform with resort covers band Mojo, blasting out anything from Guns ‘N’ Roses to Katy Perry.CaliCo John Healy and his partner Gemma Carroll have been wowing Queenstown crowds as acoustic duo Calico since 2009. They do songs by the likes of Bob Marley, Lady Gaga and Pink Floyd.THe lynCH Mob The Arrowtown family band has been a big hit in recent years with their live renditions of Pink Floyd’s classic album The Dark Side of the Moon. They also expertly execute some mean rock covers.GHeTToblaSTer Frontman Peti Seiuli and drummer Jeremy Wynyard shifted to the resort from Invercargill nine months ago to form this promising roots-reggae trio with well-known local bassist Matt Eddy. MuTz nuTz This acoustic rock covers trio has been performing regularly in Queenstown and surrounding areas for the past six years. They play numerous local venues and are also available for parties and weddings.

DeaDlier THan THe Male A local pop-rock covers band that’s fairly new to the scene and that plays regularly at venues like the Pig and Whistle pub.PaSS THe SauCe This loose group of well-known Queenstown musos, including ex-Salmonella Dub sax man Conan Wilcox, simply perform jam sessions rather than playing structured cover songs.a.n.D English brothers Anthony and Dave Waldock are best known for Pearl Jam and Kings of Leon numbers as acoustic duo A.N.D. The bros also double up with resort supergroup Mandatory Sound. THe FlaMinG DriverS Head-banging power trio The Flaming Drivers are on a mission to put the rock back into the Queenstown music scene. Their high voltage sound has pulled a solid following in the region.THe FleTCHerz Killer rock band The Fletcherz were named top teen talent at the Ultimate Battle of the Musos contest in the resort last year and have impressed Kiwi music starmaker Mike Chunn.THe GCS Sam Ross plays so many gigs locally he jokes he’s “on a permanent world tour of Queenstown”. He leads popular rock covers band the GCs and country-rock duo The Whiskey Pickers.Groova From background dinner music, to themed shows, or just music to make your party dance, this band does it all. They cover everything from 50s and 60s rock and roll to hits of today.

with Russell BlackstockQUEENSTOWN

rocks

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Mummy MonksSokushinbutsu were Buddhist monks or priests who allegedly caused their own deaths in a way that resulted in their

being mummified. This practice reportedly took place almost exclusively in northern Japan around the Yamagata Prefecture. Between 16 and 24 such mummifications have been discovered.For 3 years the priests would eat a special diet consisting only of nuts and seeds, while taking part in a regimen of rigorous physical

activity that stripped them of their body fat. They then ate only bark and roots for another 3 years and began drinking a poisonous tea made from the sap of the Urushi tree, normally used to lacquer bowls. This caused vomiting and a rapid loss of bodily fluids, and most importantly, it killed off any maggots that might cause the body to decay after death. Finally, a self-mummifying monk would lock himself in a stone tomb barely larger than his body, where he would not move from the lotus position. His only connection to the outside world was an air tube and a bell. Each day he rang a bell to let those outside know that he was still alive. When the bell stopped ringing, the tube was removed and the tomb sealed.

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blurt A place for you to let off steam and tell us what you really think. Drop us a line and get it off your chest. Prizes for the best letters of course.

Join in the debate: [email protected]

I’d just like to say that I quite like fish fingers. Not the cheap ones with the grey stuff inside. I’m talking about the proper ones with chunks of fish. Those ones are lovely, especially with a plate of chips and some nice garden peas. A lovely teatime treat which goes nice with a dash of ketchup.Tony, Fernhill.

On these cookery programmes, what’s all this stuff and nonsense about rocket salad? They called it dandelions when I was a kid. Rabbit food. Usually covered in diesel oil residue and dog piss. Somebody please tell Gordon Ramsay, there’s nothing appetising about that. Ewan, Arthurs Point.

As winter rolls around again so too do the less desirable elements of Queenstown, one such being the

firewood thieves. Why do you scumbags think it’s okay to pinch other people’s wood that they’ve worked hard to buy just because you haven’t got any? Maybe I’m being unfair and the nice person who ‘borrowed’ some of mine because he/she got caught short by the cold snap has every intention of replacing it as soon as their’s is delivered? Now that would be a pleasant surprise. Whoever you are, you’d better watch out for the mousetraps I’ve now strategically placed in my pile you tossers. Mrs Effin Angry, Sunshine Bay.

You Ain’t A LocAL unLess...

You can’t be calling yourself a local unless you’ve been snapped wearing a fluoro ski suit on Coronet only to be pleasantly surprised when beamed onto the big screen for Ski Whizz at the pub later in the week.Did you fall off the waterwheel at the top of The Mall hurting yourself deliberately so you’d get taken to the Chocolate Cottage for some much needed medicine? Have you peeled back a pie and pint at Wicked Willies or had nosh at Cobb & Co? Anyone ever purchase a crate of big bottles over the bar at Skyline on a Sunday night and hung with the locals with hardly a tour bus is sight?Did you witness an unlucky punter being chucked in the cage at Club X and made to dance? That was Queenstown’s first

strip joint and oh was it manky! How many times did you see The Dance Exponents at Albert’s Penthouse while slugging back $1 bourbons?Have you drunk schnapps from a ski with a beer chaser at the Swiss Igloo - an historic spot, now the home of The World bar but before all that it was the base for R&R Sports where you’d always pick up a pair of skis pre-loved by the Rossignol rep for nixes. Then if you had a wad of cash Bill Lacheny Sports was the place for a shiny new set. Come to think of it, you still gotta have bucket loads to shop there – it’s now the home of the $9.50 Heineken. And you’re definitely a fair dinkum true blue yocal if you were born at the Bungy Backpackers (rather than conceived there).

source says

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which came first?

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Are you local?It’s a question that gets asked to all of us every day. “Where are you from?” It matters little if you’ve been here for two weeks or since conception - we all get asked, all the time. The answer to that question is the big question - when do you actually become a Queenstown local?Some people say that you have to have a relative in the cemetery. Some say that you get to the coveted local status when you’ve been here one year longer then you already have. Some say that you have to have been born here and others say all it takes is a bill with your name on it.So what’s the answer? When do you make it into the club - and do really want to be in the club anyway?Queenstown is a town of travellers. No, not just backpackers filing off the fuck-truck for their 1.5 days in town (bungy included). If you look back to olden days when the world was in black and white - Maori stopped in Queenie on their way to the West Coast to score Pounamu. The tables have turned - now people arrive from the coast into QT to score - but that’s a different story.What’s the same is that the idea of who’s actually a Queenstown local has been an issue since before Queenstown was even here. The distinction that all of us can gloat about is that we have all chosen to be here. Queenstown is bloody expensive and in the middle of nowhere. You have to want to be here.People get stuck in London, Sydney and Auckland - you choose to be in Queenstown. That choice, the conscious decision to be - is what separates us. It’s that self realisation that also fuels the elitist fire. Your locality is always called into question by someone who’s been

here longer - whose status, in turn, was doubted by another longer stayer. The cycle continues. So what does it take? A relative in the grave? Like we could afford to pay for nana in the nursing home here, forget it. A bill with your name on it? Screw that - only suckers put their name on the lease.The truth is, if I can get all serious for a second - you’re a local when you stop treating Queenstown like a bitch. We’ve all done it - sucked the life out of this town. Surfed happy hours, collected stamps for free sushi, played connections for cheap skis and told cabs to give us the special rate. You become a local in this town when you stop asking what’s Queenstown going to do for me and you start saying what can I do for Queenstown? When was the last time you volunteered to help out? Talked to your neighbour? Helped a lost tourist or put some street rubbish in the bin?Being a local has nothing to do with time. I think we all might be pleasantly surprised to see how Queenstown would change if people stopped talking like locals and started acting like locals.

By: Ned Myopus

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Pecha Kucha. it rocks.

Snow Park

new Fitout at india once upon a Time

bigger, better loneStar

bikes, bikes bikes...

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54 shotover street . Queenstown . 441 1210lunch 12 to 4 . dinner 6 to late

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this month: “irashaimase”

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• Empire State Building opened May 1, 1931.

• Karl Marx, born May 5, 1818.• Napoleon died on St Helena, May

5, 1821.• First postage stamp issued in

England May 6, 1840.• Florence Nightingale, English

nurse, born May 12, 1820• A German submarine sank the

Lusitania in WW I, May 7, 1915.• Roald Amundsen flew over the

North Pole, May 12, 1926.• Israel became independent as the

last British troops left Palestine, May 14, 1948.

• Christopher Columbus began his third voyage May 30, 1498.

• Richard Wagner, German composer, born May 22, 1813.

it happened in May

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Lone Star on the rise.April saw the end of Rattlesnake - one of Queenstown’s longest serving local haunts. Proves the point that nothing stays the same for long. The space has now been revamped and turned into a large bar and restaurant extension for Lone Star. It’s awesome. Plenty of room for those old favourites like Lassoo of Hog. Bring on Winter and Rosemary Buffalo Fries.Here’s what a few of the old timers had to say about the passing of Rattles:“Great local bar, many memories and that crazy Tongan guy Baz. Genius! ““Those Riders Nights were crazy.”“Epic massive Revolver on the roof will be missed.”“Could never beat that Pistol Pete guy at pool.”There you go people. Pistol’s the man to beat.

Woof WOFDUX WONDER DOGS, THE SECOND EDITIONSunday 8th May, kick off 2pm, $10 pre-registration at Pets n Vets or $15 on the day. All entrants take

home a goody bag and 100% goes to the SPCA. It will be postponed until either Sunday 15th or 22nd May only if it’s raining. Please phone Dux de Lux after 11am on 442-9688 if you are unsure.Dux Wonder Dogs was coined last year because Dux is one of the last central pubs that welcome our furry friends with open arms. Pets n Vets jumped at the opportunity to be involved as many of them are locals to the pub with their dogs in tow.

The event is based around getting the community of dog lovers together to have a couple of laughs and raise some money as well as to bring awareness of the SPCA in Alexandra who look after our pooches in Queenstown.This year our main events are an agility course at the lake, swim n fetch and a bark off, with the best trick as the finale. These are all about participation and entertainment rather than competition.We find it is also a great opportunity for dog owners to get to know their community vet and vice versa, to ensure our beloved animals have the best quality of life.Dux provide the venue, the live music (Calico from 3pm) and cold beverages, whereas Pets n Vets provide the prizes and expertise. The catch phrase last year was “organised chaos”.Please contact Ngaire at Pets n Vets for details of the main sponsor this year.

The month of May. Time to regroup, give the place a lick of paint, hook up with old mates and get ready for the snow.

Here’s an update on some of Queenstown’s favourites to keep you in the loop.

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The World Bar - loved by a handful of regular locals, forgotten by most.Let’s start off with the obvious - The World Bar is not for everybody. Fair enough but when was the last time you actually popped in for a beer? Been there in the calm and cosy early evening? Tried the secret beer garden tucked away out back? Sampled a gigantic succulent Fat Badgers heaven baked pizza? Have you puffed away on the only shisha pipes in QT?Or have you simply never ventured there at all. Have you just relied heavily on drunken tales of debauchery from it’s infamous ex-workers or inhabitants from 5 years previous. Maybe you went recently and it wasn’t for you - fair game but try not to judge this book by its cover. You might just find you’re pleasantly surprised by this little local gem loved the world over.Obviously World Bar does one thing very well; it attracts travellers and tourists in large numbers and consistently creates thumping nights with a packed and writhing dance floor until the wee hours. But surprisingly, it has developed a whole other side that is yet to be exploited, its early evening atmosphere. Before the mischief there is a calm before the storm - it’s the perfect locals’ hideout. Grab a pizza, have a puff on a shisha, chill in the garden bar.They look after locals pretty well too offering some serious love in terms of a tasty discount card. But beyond that there’s also a fair old bit going on there with regular DJ visits and one off events.One thing that might get savvy locals flooding back is their new monthly night launching May 28th called Release. All thanks to Dan Move who is joined by DJ Cuz for an ever impressive appearance. Bass chasing beats ‘n breaks, electro and house whilst MC EMZ will belt out freestyle vocals - a not to be missed soirée.So if you fancy a change of scenery or if you’re feeling a tad adventurous, explore an old favourite. The World Bar - a fresh option for locals. Who would’ve thought it?

What’s going onround here?

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Peasgood Nonsuch Cox’s Red what?Take a peek into any older resident’s garden in Arrowtown and you’re likely to spot some fruit trees amongst the roses. Growing up locally, everyone had peach, apricot and apple trees. It would have been inconceivable to buy our fruit from the corner store. Recently we met a lady in Arrowtown with a magnificent old English cider tree bearing Peasgood Nonsuch apples in her backyard. It would have been planted at least 30 years ago by someone keen to produce their own cider and cooking apples. Everyone should have a Cox’s Orange or Red Delicious in their back garden. They are easy to grow and will give you an abundance of great tasting apples.Back in 2005 we decided that the Wakatipu needed its own local cider and re-introduced heritage cider apples to

the district. We planted 140 Old English Cider apple trees and some tasty local apple varieties on the family farm out at Arrow Junction. The Cider trees had to be grafted onto new wood stock and are growing well in a completely organic environment. All the trees produce a small crop every year, which we get the pleasure of picking ourselves to make cider or supply to family and friends. A bin of Cox’s Orange went to the kids at the Remarkables Primary school the other day for their play-lunch.Berriman’s is a local business that now produces 10,000 litres of cider a year so needless to say we’re very proud to be making a handcrafted cider for locals and international visitors to enjoy as part of their Queenstown experience. It feels good to be part of the community and to be contributing something enjoyable to the local scene.Cheers, Jay and Lyn.


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a local adventurerThe Fatal Game On the summit of Mt. Everest in 1994, Kiwi guide Mark Whetu and his client Mike Rheinberger realise it’s too late to return to camp before nightfall. Following a freezing night just 50 metres below the summit, they try to descend but Rheinberger is stricken with cerebral edema. After a day long struggle Whetu must decide whether to stay with his friend on the

mountain or save his own life. As a result of the night at 28,800 feet, Whetu loses his toes to frostbite and enters a period of deep depression. Mark returns home to Queenstown and endures a long recovery and much emotional turmoil before deciding to return to the Himalaya as the leader of an expedition attempting to summit the world’s sixth highest mountain, Cho Oyu (8201m).

proudly presents

DUX WONDER DOGSSUNDAY 8TH MAY

Bring your pooch & put them to the test next to some of Queenstown’s

finest furry friends.Register @ Pets n Vets $10

Calico from 3pm . $3.50 Alpine Ales20

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Bring your pooch and put them to the test next to some of Queenstown's finest furry

friends.Register @ Pets n Vets $10

CALICO Live from 3pm$3.50 ALPINE ALES


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Adult Standard Season Pass comes with $200 Snow Park credit loaded directly to the pass. All passes offer discounts including 10% off all food & beverage at Snow Park NZ, 20% off Snow Park NZ retail, special cat skiing standby rates & more.

Pencil MasterpiecesMany artists have used pencils to create works of art – but Dalton Ghetti creates miniature masterpieces on the tips of pencils. Dalton, who works as a carpenter, has been making his tiny graphite works for about 25 years. Some of his pieces take as long as two years to produce. So now you know what to do if you’ve got a spare couple of years to kill. Get yourself a sewing needle and a pencil and get crackin’.

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SaT 30 aPrMiniSTry :: Saucy Saturday great drink promos. Super 15 Rugby. PoG MaHone’S :: Live music at 9pm. winnieS :: Famous Pirate Party, ooaar! buFFalo Club :: Back to Skool Party, prizes & amazing drink deals all night. bunKer :: DJ Dick Ingal mixin’ it up. PiG & wHiSTle :: Karaoke 10pm-late.

MonTy’S :: Free Funk Foundation 6pm.

Sun 1 MayMiniSTry :: Snake Bite Sundays. Cardsharks Poker, 7.30pm. reD roCK :: Sunday Sesh-On, live music with Pass the Sauce at 4pm. DJ Asbro. DuX De luX :: DJ Ben Jamin at 8pm. bunKer :: Sunday Session with Kris Eddy. MonTy’S :: The Night Watchment at 5pm. winnieS :: Sol Sunday!

Mon 2 MayMiniSTry :: FIFA 2011 PS3 comp, rego 7pm. Free pool all day Mon to Thu. winnieS :: Pool comp at 9pm. bunKer :: Classic Midnight Movies. lone STar :: Poker night, rego at 9pm.

Tue 3 MayMiniSTry :: 2-4-1 cocktail night from 7. buFFalo Club :: Topless Tues bikini comp.

weD 4 MayMiniSTry :: NPPL Poker, rego 7pm. Man Handle Members’ Club Night. PoG MaHone’S :: Quiz from 7pm followed by live music from Calico at 9.30pm. buFFalo Club :: Ginger Wednesday, get yourself a free t-shirt. DuX De luX :: DJ Dani Gun at 8pm. winnieS :: Wednesday Lockdown, get handcuffed to a partner in crime. lone STar :: Lonely Lone Star Wednesdays, $5 drinks.

THu 5 MayMiniSTry :: Quiz at 7pm followed by open mic night with Dave & Charlie 10pm. PoG MaHone’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 9pm. reD roCK :: DJ Asbro from 7pm. buFFalo Club :: Buff Ugly, Qtn’s naughtiest party, wet T comp. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. MonTy’S :: The Night Watchmen at 8.30.

Fri 6 May MiniSTry :: DJs Al & Olly from 9pm. reD roCK :: Rock Night. winnieS :: Wicked local DJs from 10pm. bunKer :: DJ J-San, House Retro fusion. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. DuX De luX :: Inside Out at 10pm. lone STar :: Super 15 & DJ Just Cause at 10pm.

SaT 7 MayMiniSTry :: Saucy Saturday great drink promos. Super 15 Rugby. worlD bar :: 2 epic Ninja DJs. PoG MaHone’S :: Live music with Charlie Gibson at 8pm. DuX De luX :: DJ Ben Jamin at 8pm. winnieS :: Wicked local DJs from 10pm. bunKer :: DJ Dick Ingal mixin’ it up. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. MonTy’S :: Free Funk Foundation 8.30. lone STar :: Live music & drink specials from 10pm.

Sun 8 MayMiniSTry :: Snake Bite Sundays. Cardsharks Poker, 7.30pm. reD roCK :: Sunday Sesh-On, live music at 4pm. DJ Asbro. DuX De luX :: Calico at 5pm. bunKer :: Sunday Session with Kris Eddy. MonTy’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 5pm. winnieS :: Sol Sunday! lone STar :: Free bubbles for mums on Mothers’ Day.

gig guide May11

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Tue 10 MayMiniSTry :: 2-4-1 cocktail night from 7. buFFalo Club :: Topless Tuesday bikini comp & drinks specials.

weD 11 MayMiniSTry :: NPPL Poker, rego 7pm. Man Handle Members’ Club Night. PoG MaHone’S :: Quiz from 7pm followed by live music from Calico at 9.30pm. buFFalo Club :: Ginger Wednesdays, get yourself a free t-shirt. DuX De luX :: DJ Dani Gun from 8pm. winnieS :: Wednesday Lockdown, get handcuffed to a partner in crime. lone STar :: Lonely Lone Star Wednesdays, $5 drinks.

THu 12 MayMiniSTry :: Quiz at 7pm followed by open mic night with Dave & Charlie 10pm. PoG MaHone’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 9pm. reD roCK :: DJ Asbro from 7pm. buFFalo Club :: Buff Ugly, Queenstown’s naughtiest party, wet T shirt comp. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. worlD bar :: 2 ninja DJs from 10pm. MonTy’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 5pm.

Fri 13 MayMiniSTry :: DJs Al & Olly from 9pm. DuX De luX :: Peti Crime from 6pm. winnieS :: Wicked local DJs from 10pm. bunKer :: DJ J-San, House Retro fusion. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. reD roCK :: Rock Night. lone STar :: Super 15 & DJ Just Cause at 10pm.

SaT 14 MayMiniSTry :: Saucy Saturday great drink promos. Super 15 Rugby. PoG MaHone’S :: Live music with Charlie Gibson at 8pm. DuX De luX :: Sleemo and The Bandwagon from 10pm. winnieS :: Superhero Party 10pm. Show us your secret powers! bunKer :: DJ Dick Ingal mixin’ it up. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. MonTy’S :: Free Funk Foundation, 8.30. worlD bar :: 2 Ninja DJs every night. lone STar :: Live music & drink specials from 10pm.

Sun 15 MayMiniSTry :: Snake Bite Sundays. Cardsharks Poker, 7.30pm. reD roCK :: Sunday Sesh-On, live music from 4pm with Pass The Sauce. bunKer :: Sunday Session with Kris Eddy. MonTy’S :: The Night Watchmen at 5pm. winnieS :: Sol Sunday!


Tue 17 MayMiniSTry :: 2-4-1 cocktail night from 7pm. buFFalo Club :: Topless Tuesday bikini comp & drinks specials.

weD 18 MayMiniSTry :: NPPL Poker, rego 7pm. Man Handle Members’ Club Night. worlD bar :: Shay & Pearly from 8.30pm. PoG MaHone’S :: Quiz from 7pm followed by live music from Calico at 9.30pm.

gig guide May11

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buFFalo Club :: Ginger Wednesday, get yourself a free t-shirt. DuX De luX :: DJ Dani Gun at 8pm. winnieS :: Wednesday Lockdown, get handcuffed to a partner in crime. lone STar :: Lonely Lone Star Wednesdays, $5 drinks.

THu 19 MayMiniSTry :: Quiz at 7pm followed by open mic night with Dave & Charlie 10pm. PoG MaHone’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 9pm. reD roCK :: DJ Asbro from 7pm. buFFalo Club :: Buff Ugly, Queenstown’s naughtiest party, wet T comp. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. MonTy’S :: The Night Watchmen at 8.30pm.

Fri 20 May MiniSTry :: DJs Al & Olly from 9pm. winnieS :: Wicked local DJs from 10pm. bunKer :: DJ J-San, House Retro fusion. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. reD roCK :: Rock Night. DuX De luX :: Inside Out at 10pm. lone STar :: Super 15 & DJ Just Cause at 10pm.

SaT 21 May MiniSTry :: Saucy Saturday great drink promos. Super 15 Rugby. PoG MaHone’S :: Live music with Charlie Gibson at 8pm. DuX De luX :: Local live music at 10pm. winnieS :: Wicked local DJ from 10pm. bunKer :: DJ Dick Ingal mixin’ it up. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. MonTy’S :: DJ Ben Jamin, Free Funk Foundation 8.30pm. worlD bar :: 2 Ninjas on the decks. lone STar :: Live music & drink specials from 10pm.

Sun 22 MayMiniSTry :: Snake Bite Sundays. Cardsharks Poker, 7.30pm. DuX De luX :: Sarah Foley at 5pm. bunKer :: Sunday Session with Kris Eddy. MonTy’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 8.30pm. reD roCK :: Sunday Sesh-On, live music at 4pm. DJ Asbro. winnieS :: Sol Sunday!


Tue 24 MayMiniSTry :: 2-4-1 cocktail night from 7. buFFalo Club :: Topless Tuesday bikini comp & drinks specials.

weD 25 MayMiniSTry :: NPPL Poker, rego 7pm. Man Handle Members’ Club Night. buFFalo Club :: Ginger Wednesday, get yourself a free t-shirt. PoG MaHone’S :: Quiz from 7pm followed by live music from Calico at 9.30pm. winnieS :: Wednesday Lockdown, get handcuffed to a partner in crime. lone STar :: Lonely Lone Star Wednesdays, $5 drinks.

THu 26 MayMiniSTry :: Quiz at 7pm followed by open mic night with Dave & Charlie 10pm. PoG MaHone’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 9pm. reD roCK :: DJ Asbro from 7pm. buFFalo Club :: Buff Ugly, Queenstown’s naughtiest party, wet T comp. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. worlD bar :: 2 Ninja DJs from 10pm. MonTy’S :: The Mutz Nutz at 8.30pm.

SPONSORED BY THE BEST PIZZA JOINT IN TOWN: OPEN 11 AM TILL LATE SEVEN DAYS FOR DINE IN, PICKUP AND DELIVERY.

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Fri 27 MayMiniSTry :: DJs Al & Olly from 9pm. reD roCK :: Rock Night. winnieS :: Wicked local DJs from 10pm. bunKer :: DJ J-San, House Retro fusion. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. DuX De luX :: Chillifest with Downtown Brown at 8pm. lone STar :: Super 15 & DJ Just Cause at 10pm.

SaT 28 MayMiniSTry :: Saucy Saturday great drink promos. Super 15 Rugby. PoG MaHone’S :: Live music with Charlie Gibson at 8pm. winnieS :: Alison Lake Live! Pop/punk superstars last seen at the ITM 400. bunKer :: DJ Dick Ingal mixin’ it up. PiG & wHiSTle :: Live music. MonTy’S :: DJ Ben Jamin, Free Funk Foundation 8.30pm. worlD bar :: RELEASE featuring Cuzzie, DJ Dan Move, MC Emma Hand and Jules. Breakbeat, house and electro. DuX De luX :: Kindread Music at 10pm. lone STar :: Live music & drink specials from 10pm.

Sun 29 MayMiniSTry :: Snake Bite Sundays. Cardsharks Poker, 7.30pm. reD roCK :: Sunday Sesh-On, live music at 4pm. DJ Asbro. DuX De luX :: Calico at 5pm. bunKer :: Sunday Session with Kris Eddy. MonTy’S :: Kayne at 3pm. winnieS :: Sol Sunday!


Tue 31 MayMiniSTry :: 2-4-1 cocktail night from 7pm. buFFalo Club :: Topless Tues bikini comp.

gig guide May11

got a gig?If you’ve got an event coming up

and you’d like to get it into our gig

guide, please drop us a line.

Our listings are only as good as

the stuff you tell us about, so get

in touch with the crew and we’ll

get your gig on the radar.

You know where to find us:

[email protected]

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Lone StarSubculturePO CaféBella CucinaPog MahonesMinistryFat BadgersYoga StudiosPig & WhistleNomadsBrazzRed RockWhisky RoomBath HouseThe World Bar

Buffalo ClubWinniesThe BunkerHell PizzaDux de LuxYakitori DarumaMonty’sPolicePost OfficeMedical CentreBus StopQT Gardens2

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the ‘C’ wordSmile and say “Kiwi”On certain Friday mornings throughout the year, interesting groups of people can be seen entering the Queenstown Council Offices, heading for the Council Chambers.They’re quite a dressy crowd but other than the smart attire they don’t really seem to have much else in common. There’s a mix of ages, accents and occupations and while there’s a happy feel about the gathering, 15 of the people attending look slightly nervous.That’s understandable. Everyone’s here for one of the district’s Citizenship Ceremonies and the 15 are about to become freshly minted New Zealanders.Many of us don’t remember the moment we became New Zealand citizens. We simply popped out of the womb clutching an invisible piece of paper saying “Kiwi” and never gave it much more

thought. For some people though, being a citizen is a choice they’ve made and in some cases they’ve had to overcome huge obstacles to make it happen.No wonder then that things sometimes get emotional. The ceremony itself, although relatively informal is deeply meaningful. Some people smile with joy the whole way through their oath or affirmation of allegiance, others cry. Some people stumble over their words while others have obviously been up practising all night but they’ve all got one thing in common – they’re absolutely delighted to finally be one of us.The ceremony finishes with the National Anthem, where the non singers amongst them take part in the ancient Kiwi tradition of silently mouthing the words on the high notes and then it’s time for a cup of tea and a bikkie. So let’s raise our cuppas to the 102 new Kiwis we’ve welcomed since June last year. They may not have started their journey here but this is where they’ve decided they belong. They’re locals now too.

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Here’s our take on your month ahead. If you’re looking for spiritual

guidance this is the place...

Aries – God is probably an Aries.

Taurus – Obsessive-compulsive disorder?

Gemini – You are heading to your next delusion of grandeur.

Cancer – Time for an out of body experience.

Leo – 36% of all romances start in the toilet.

Virgo – Have you had a haircut? Facelift? Liposuction?

Libra – If you keep repeating it, it might come true.

Scorpio – Romance is definitely on the agenda - if you pay for it.

Sagittarius - You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

Capricorn – Come back to earth for a minute.

Aquarius – You went through that phase. Move on.

Pisces – You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed. Which you are...

horrorscopes

SUNDAYFUNDAY

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Once upon a time, on the 19th of October 1930, a boy was born in a little brown house in Hallenstein Street. Mrs Fix was the midwife and

Lou Hamilton the mother. The baby was named William Alan Hamilton - and that baby was me.Back in 1907 my grandmother, a widower, had a vision of Queenstown growing and becoming a famous holiday resort. She used 100 pounds to buy a block of land in Hobart Street and built Hamilton House, a holiday boarding house. It was a short holiday season, just a week before Christmas until Easter. The boarding house eventually closed in the 1970s.My father was John Brown Hamilton. We owned Lismore Dairy Farm, milking cows to supply the folk of Queenstown with milk and cream in the 1930s. My father was also born in Queenstown, my mother was a Scottish WWII war bride.My parents were kept busy farming on the outskirts of town on Gorge Road, at first milking their cows out in the paddock with a bucket and stool. A milking shed was later built but they still had to milk by hand. I grew up fast and became a farmhand, bringing the cows in and learning to milk them. When the cat came to sit beside me he would also get a squirt of milk in his mouth.I became a milk cart kid in 1936. With a bike load of billies and milk, from one to four pints, I would set off delivering to people around town. When the billies were empty I would head back to the horse and cart to have them refilled. On the cold mornings I would start with my feet sitting in the oven of the old coal range until it was time to head out at quarter to seven in the morning, always on the dot. Rain, hail, snow or sunshine we delivered.It sure wasn’t a busy town in those days, all the

pubs shut down for the winter except one, just in case a tourist turned up. Hell old timers, no need for that in 2011 with thousands of visitors winter and summer. In my day the NZR had to run day excursions from Invercargill by rail to Kingston, then by the Earnslaw to Queenstown. My family also had a fruit orchard on the present recreation ground. The day trippers would have time to eat peaches and cream before getting the boat back down the lake.I remember a heavy snowfall one winter, there was deep snow in the cow paddocks. We used a steep sledging spot over in Sainty’s paddock, now Boyd Town. Us kids were having great fun in the snow when over the paddock came a bloke carrying a couple of boards. They were skis. I reckon that bloke was the first to ski in Queenstown. So history was made on our farm.2011 and 80 years on what do I think of the progress of Queenstown and the district? It’s both magic and mind boggling. I wish my friends who have passed on to heaven could see all the changes and for some to see that their dreams did come true. Tucker Hains who planted the first Douglas Fir trees up on Bob’s Peak. Ian Hamilton who had the vision of a gondola on the same mountain. Wow! That’s what they’d say. I’m so lucky to be still living in such a beautiful part of New Zealand. Let’s all treasure it.

HAMMYBORN AND BRED

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earthlings...Making a buck from the pretty stuff, not the dirty stuffAs I write this, Greenpeace’s activists are far out to sea off the North Island’s East Cape, along with members of the local iwi Te Whenau-e-Apanui and yachts from the Nuclear Free Flotilla, trying to put a stop to a seismic seabed survey by the Brazilian oil giant Petrobras. The action speaks to the values that New Zealanders hold dear, our clean green identity, protecting our marine environment and not following the status quo when it comes to getting ahead. New Zealanders have a proud history of acting together to protect our land and our heritage. We came together to stop nuclear shipments from coming into our harbours - and won - and we successfully stood together and stopped mining of our national parks.Now is another time when we are standing together to stop another environmental and economical disaster. The justifications for the action Greenpeace is taking part in are pretty straightforward. The deeper the water a rig drills in, the greater the chance of disaster. BP’s Deepwater Horizon rig was drilling in 1500 metres of water before the explosion that killed 11 workers and which led to over four million barrels of oil being spilt into the Gulf of Mexico. But parts of the seabed Petrobras has bought the rights to survey and drill in are over twice as deep – drilling could occur in water that is 3100 metres deep. And any oil brought to the surface and subsequently burnt as by the push into the new “frontiers” of oil (which is what New Zealand has was described as by one Petrobras

executive), will only make the climate crisis that much more serious.But there are very strong economic arguments against what the Government is doing. These arguments dovetail nicely with the theme of this month’s edition of ‘The Source’ particularly in terms of what it means to be a local, or, in the context of the oil debate, a citizen of New Zealand. In our view, New Zealand can’t have it both ways. We can’t be a client-state of the global oil business and retain the qualities that have helped make us the success, both economically and in every other regard, that we have become. Take a look at Nigeria, a long-time friend of the oil business, if you want a vivid lesson in why the oil business isn’t compatible with much else, especially those which rely on a landscape that’s not been messed up. New Zealand’s tourism and fishing industries and the clean green image that helps sell local products overseas is worth far more than the oil industry will ever bring to this country. A major spill would wipe these industries out overnight. The tens of millions of dollars the Government is spending on tring to lure the likes of Petrobras here would be far better spent on the local cleantech sector, which is already starting to bare fruit. Cleantech capitalises on Kiwi ingenuity without threatening the other things that make being local to New Zealand such a great thing and which also keeps bread on the table for so many.Simon Boxer, Senior Climate CampaignerGreenpeace NZ

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odd Stuff

queenstown’s best kept secret since 1997 . thebunker.co.nz

cow lane . queenstownPh: 03 4418030 Open 5pm - 4am

discover the bunker, intimate rustic fine dining and late night cocktail bar with rooftop deck.available for private parties in the bar or boardroom. packages + discounts available for local groups

now serving our summer/autumn menu

WONdER SAuNA HOT PANTS Too lazy to work out? Can’t afford a tummy tuck? We’ve got you covered! Try a pair of these fabulous Wonder Sauna Hot Pants! One size fits all… Oh, did I mention they are inflatable?

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Two Hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the Hillbillies looks at her and says, “Kin ya swallar?” The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, “Kin ya breathe?” The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The Hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, “Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it!”.................................................................................................................................

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say?” the priest asked. “They say, “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?” “That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. “You know,” he said, “I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which

I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray

and worship and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.” “Thank you,” the woman responded, “this may very well be the solution.” The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?” There was a stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says, “Put the beads away Frank, our prayers have been answered!”

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Call in for a cuppa - we’re open 9-5, mon - fri

Fluid hosted its first Pecha Kucha night in april and hopes to do it again at the end of the winter. Thanks to everyone who came along and especially those who presented their stuff. also we’ve had a small show on at Front room. annika and Paul brought their skateboard collection out of the cupboard for a rare public viewing. These things are truly stunning pieces of design, many of them made long before Photoshop was even thought possible.

if you’ve got a collection or some art you’d like show off, give annika Dawkins a call: 03 442 6739

Fluid Visual Communications, 10 Memorial Streetbrand . web . Strategy . Design . Marketing

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Resistance is futile - The Singularity’s coming Prepare for the new age - For a technological infusionResistance is futile - The Singularity’s comingPrepare for the end - Of Darwinian evolutionHyper-exponential advancement - Soon we control the weatherCellular rejuvenation on prescription - Your children can live for everResistance is futile - The Singularity’s comingOut with the Homosapiens - We’re the last of our kind Resistance is futile - The Singularity’s comingIn with the Homo-cyborgons - Organic machine and supercomputer mindCorporate ‘beings’ already control us - Enslave us and plunder our planetThey use and abuse us - GAIA will change all thatFor better or worse - The Singularity’s comingResistance is futile - Is it the end or a new beginning

rhymin’ fo yo supper

Resistance is futile

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Danger: Yank on SiteLabourers are the mums of the building family. They tirelessly clean up everyone’s mess, put tools back in the shed when builders are done playing with them and good ones can tidily set materials out so that your job site looks like Aunt Rosie’s Christmas lunch table. Unlike mums, labourers have no authoritative presence and are not loved whatsoever. Bad analogy.Last Winter I laboured for a Queenstown construction firm. Being an American had its job site advantages (genetic predisposition for knowing tasteless/dirty jokes) and disadvantages (people sometimes thought I was Canadian). But for as much as I loved the gig, there will always be areas of inevitable clash when you ask a Yank to do your grunt work.

CoMMuniCaTionIt’s funny and slightly cute that Wikipedia says Americans and Kiwis speak the same language. When the builders asked me to fetch a “heap ‘o pigs” they actually wanted wooden pegs for holding up concrete forms. When you ask for a “heap ‘o pigs” in Missouri you’ll actually get pigs and you’re probably planning on greasing them up and releasing them

in somebody’s backyard to observe hilarity in its purest form.SaFeTy awareneSSI hail from the land of litigation. You can’t fart in the States without being sued for rectal negligence and emotional damage to bystanders. Hence I’m used to being harnessed and tethered to a structural beam when I change a light bulb. Not so in this neck of the woods. When I asked my boss for safety goggles while chipping out a concrete patio he suggested I use my sunnies and squint harder.environMenTal FrienDlineSSGoats will eat anything except Gorse - probably because it’s disgusting and noxious and it came from Scotland (redundant). But I had never seen the stuff before, so when the foreman told me to rid it from the jobsite I took the romantic route and brought home a bouquet of it for my lady friend. It looked great on the coffee table until it shat pollen over every horizontal surface in my living room.TeaM builDinGOne thing that Kiwis and Yanks will always have in common is the desire to sit down after a long week and fraternize over a box of cold piss. One thing that we’ll never have in common is beer preference. I understand that when you’re doing a beer run for construction workers in Central Otago you should abide by the tastes of the Southern Man. But as an American citizen I am legally required to buy Budweiser (or as we call it, Red-n-White Dynamite) when the price drops below $30 a 12-pack. Seriously, it’s in our Constitution, after the right to bare NASCAR tattoos.

adam Saraceno

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THiS MonTH’SbooTy

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The Red Rock $10 All Day Brekkie

Sunny Garden + Mega Jugs Pool Table + Big Sky TV

The Bath HouseGreat food, wine + tap beer

Breathtaking Views Absolute Lakefront

Corner of Camp Street + Man Street

Beside Queenstown Gardens, Qtn Bay

Intimate Upstairs Lounge Bar above Red Rock - Full Bar Available

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