22

Changes at Priory

“Now, boys” - Father Bede

By Ramzi Haddad ’16Editor

Mr. Nickolai, the n e w D i r e c t o r o f S t u d e n t L i f e , i s pumped for the new school year. Not only does he have a new t i t l e a n d n e w responsibilities, but he also has an office that isn’t located directly adjacent to where the junior schoolers keep their smelly sports stuff. Although he does miss the faint smell of girdle early in the m o r n i n g , h e i s adjusting well to his new role.

One of the biggest changes instituted this year is the abolition of the demerit. That’s right, you didn’t wash your demerit card, or leave it in the science wing, YOU NEVER

GOT IT! Watch out John Cena, with this move there may be a n e w P e o p l e s Champion, Big Mike (If you don’t watch WWE then you didn’t get that joke).

The Director of Student life is not only r e s p o n s i b l e f o r discipline, but also in charge of student well-being and overa l l h a p p i n e s s . M r . Nickolai hopes to get t o k n o w s t u d e n t s through the many student activities that are available at Priory. H e b e l i e v e s t h a t discipline is most effective when there is a n e s t a b l i s h e d relationship between student and teacher. “Its hard to discipline someone you don’t know,” said Nickolai, “ th i s new sys t em

works off of mutual respect and senior leadership. This year’s Senior Class can really set the tone for the rest of the school.” If there is a problem with repeated disobedience then it will be dealt w i t h o n a m o r e individual level. “For instance, if the senior n e w s p a p e r e d i t o r continuously refused to wear a belt or tuck in his shirt, then he might need to face some consequences.”

Mr. N icko la i ’s main focus is to instill and intensify a sense of pride in the school: “It is easier to create pride on a smaller scale,” Nickolai continued, “ S t u d e n t s m i g h t develop a sense of p r i d e t h r o u g h participation in a club or through being part

of a team. Pride in a certain club or group can grow into a more meaningful pride in the school itself.”

By taking th is holistic approach, and overseeing not only discipline, but also student happiness, Mr. Nickolai hopes to build a m e a n i n g f u l relationship with the student body. He thinks this relationship could r e s u l t i n f e w e r disciplinary issues.

When asked why the Junior Schoolers still have demerits Mr. Nickolai said nothing. He just sat back and took a deep inhale, reminiscing on the s m e l l s o f J u n i o r Schools past, as a single tear fell from his cheek.

ENTERTAINMENTWelcome Back

By George Ahlering ’16Editor

Welcome back, gentlemen. I assume that each and every one of you is glad to be here: pencil in hand and ready to learn. This summer was a good one, minus the summer reading (which I’m sure you all actually read...). Anyways, we at the Record Weekly

have big plans for the 2015-2016 school year. One of our Class’ main goals as Seniors is to further bring the school together. We want to encourage inter-class socialization and more school spirit. One of the ways we can do this is through involvement in our publication. And as you go through the school year, the Priory Record will be with you every step of the

way. The Priory Record is your voice, your informant, and your friend.

The Priory Record is entirely student run, and it is your way of r e a c h i n g t h e community at large. It is a very unique and special asset that we have at our disposal at Priory. So, please, if you have any ideas for an article, make it come to life and send it to

theprioryrecord@gmail.com. Here’s to many more great Issues and a great year! Laus Tibi Domine.

VOLUME XLVIISSUE 1

SEPTEMBER 4, 2015Editors

Ramzi Haddad ’16

Tripp Miller ’16

George Ahlering ’16

Layout Editor

Ian McClellan ’16

Faculty ModeratorMr. Woodcock

Contacttheprioryrecord@gmail.com

314-434-3690 ext. 221

The Record DisclaimerThe Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is to inform students of events in the communi ty ; to encour age discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all m e m b e r s o f t h e P r i o r y community, including students, faculty, and alumni.The Record w i l l no t pub l i s h con ten t considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editor s apply profess ional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to t h e E d i t o r s a r e a l w a y s appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

The Record

33

Straight Outta Overrated

*chewing sunflower seeds* (inaudible) - Mr. Muench

ENTERTAINMENT

By: Jake Tottleben ‘16Staff Writer

After finishing Straight Outta Compton I wasn’t quite sure how to feel, but not in a good way. Initially I couldn’t tell if this movie was actually about N.W.A. or about Easy-E. Personally, I was looking for the hard-hitting details of the rap group, not the white-washed s tory that was presented. I know no one really wants to hear about how Dr. Dre bea t h i s girlfriend, but that kind of raw material could’ve made this movie a little more impactful. The overall sense of f r iendly communi ty between the members of

N.W.A. made me feel like I was watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The acting was less than stellar and I wasn’t at all sold on the emotions of the performers. Straight Outta Compton also contracted a mild case of Michael Bay disease- no, there weren’t any explosions, but unnecessary action was added to the movie in a fruitless attempt to try and not bore the audience. Lastly, the plot jumped and there was too much material for the length of a movie, resulting in a thin spread summary of the rap group that felt synthetic and void of real emotion. With all this being said its hard to rip on a movie about N.W.A.

Hearing the music and watching the group perform on stage made me want to listen to them even more. I must also praise the scenes in which (Spoiler Alert if you don’t actually know the story of N.W.A.) Easy-E is dying. This was the only point in the movie where I truly felt something more than the value of entertainment. Even t h e p o t e n t i a l l y h e a r t wrenching police brutality scenes ended up dry. When it comes down to it this movie wasn’t that poorly made- it was pretty well shot, the score was good, and it was edited well. The only real problem is that it avoided the gritty truths that would’ve given this

movie much needed emotion. I t w o r k e d w e l l a s a n a d v e r t i s e m e n t f o r t h e speculated up coming tour with Eminem (who doesn’t quite fit the name N.W.A. bill) , but as I film I was not sold.

By Tejas Sekhar ’17Staff Writer

On the n ight of September 28 , there will be blood... a blood moon that is. While “blood moon” may sound like a frightening term to some, a blood moon is simply the nickname given to a total lunar eclipse. When the Earth eclipses the full moon, the sun’s light travel through Earth’s atmosphere giving the moon a red appearance, and thus the term blood moon was coined. Blood moons occur in tetrads, or series of four scattered throughout a calendar year. Although tetrads of total lunar eclipses have occurred 62

times since the first century, 2015 marks a significant year for the blood moon cycle, mainly due to one man: John Hagee.

Christian minister John Hagee has written a book titled Four Blood Moons. In it, he discusses what he believes will occur this September 28 : The Rapture. Hagee’s bold prediction has sparked much controversy amongst many scientists, who have already denounced Hagee and his book. Hagee makes strong claims due to Bible verses and the dates of significant events marked in the Jewish calendar. But, Hagee failed to give context and credible explanations to

the various verses he uses to support his argument of the n e a r - a p p r o a c h i n g Armageddon. In addition, the Jewish calendar is largely based off of the lunar ca lendar, thus soundly nullifying to that aspect of Hagee’s argument. Looks like Blood Moon 2015 will be joining the likes of Y2K and 2012 along with many other debunked apocalyptic scares.

Blood Moon/Rapture?! NEW!Joke of the

Week:

Q: What is big, green, and has wheels?

A: Grass... I lied about the wheels.

Joke Credit: Adam Ezzelgot ’16

44

Saint Louis Somebodies

“Gentlemen, please quiet down” - Mrs. Kress

Book Review: Firefight

PERIODICALS

By Connor Wright ’16Photojournalist

“How often do you come here?”

“About 3 or 4 times a week”

“Why do you come here?”

“We’ve come here every week since we lost our only child. This is how we celebrate his life. This is how we mourn him.”

“What do you do with the fish?”

“Every Sunday night we have a catfish dinner. We eat all the catfish we caught that week. And we always save an extra spot for our son.”

55

Another One: Music Review Tripp Miller ’16Editor

On my desk at home there are a stack of CDs labeled “mac d” with horrible hand drawn covers that have served in various capacities over the last few months- as party favors, as an excuse to invite people over, and, in the darkest depths of my unemployment, as currency. Is it unethical to sustain oneself on the leaked intellectual property of another? Am I a bad person for profiting from another's misfortune? These are the sort of heavy questions wearing on my mind as I hammer out the first of many late night Record articles for this 2015/2016 school year. Welcome back playboy. “Another One” is a mini-LP, clocking it at a little over 20 minutes. This was largely done to get around industry standards requiring a two year gap between albums, but it’s the perfect dose of Mac-

there really isn’t any filler here. Instead, we get some of

Demarco’s most personal and warm songwriting to date. As he

said himself- “Salad Days is my grumpy album. Another One is love songs.” And really good love songs! Fans of “Chamber of Reflection” will find a lot to like here- the only thing that marks a significant departure from Mac’s previous work is a heavier use of synthesizers. The title track is a beautiful synth ballad that sets the tone for the rest of the EP, and “Without Me” is able to convey a bittersweet farewell with more grace than most people ever thought the guy who wrote “Baby’s Wearing Blue Jeans” could manage. The heaviness is cut with an underlying lighthearted optimism that shines through the EP. “I’ve Been Waiting for Her” is the catchiest rock song of the summer. The entire experience is extremely relaxing- fun enough for the summer and nice and cozy for the fall. 9/10

ENTERTAINMENT

“Marry a Villa girl” - Hank Schake

Movie Review: The GiftBy Peter Hopkins ’17

Staff Writer

The Gift is a thriller starring Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, and Joel Edgerton. The really interesting thing about this film is that Joel Edgerton not only w a s o n e o f t h e s t a r i n g characters but also the film’s writer and director. The gift begins when Bateman and his wife played by Rebecca Hall are seen moving into a house in California. While out shopping Bateman’s character comes a c r o s s “ G o r d o ” , a n o l d classmate of his who begins to give strange and over the line

gifts to the couple. As the film progresses, I noticed just how well acted the characters were, they really truly felt like real people. This is apparent in Jason Bateman’s character because up until now he was known for his role in the TV show Arrested Development. With his performance Bateman completely vanished into his role and it felt very real and like with the other characters in this film you felt sympathy but also could never be truly sure in how you felt about them. With Rebecca Hall’s character you also got a sense that this was a real person who can experience

an a range of emotions as it is setup in the movie that she went through problems throughout her youth and in the film we get to see old wounds begin to reappear. But by far the performance that outweighed them both was Joel Edgerton. His role as Gordo may truly be his best performance yet, his character let on so many different emotions and you could never truly knew how you felt about him. At the same time of being sympathetic he was outright socially awkward and a fool but in the next scene could be a complete maniac. This film provides a look into lives

distraught by hidden pains and suffering and proves itself to redefine the genre thriller mov ie s , each scene was dripping in suspense and terror as the story of a past wrong is revealed on screen. suffering and proves itself to redefine the genre thriller movies, each scene was dripping in suspense and terror as the story of a past wrong is revealed on screen.

ACROSS1. Fate6. French for "State"10. Flower holder14. Electronic letters15. Infiltrator16. Portent17. British penny18. Rascal19. Weight to be borne20. Intruder22. Humdinger23. Scrabble piece24. Reluctant26. Stinging insect30. Contribute31. Former North African ruler32. Small island33. A noble gas35. Monastery head39. Austere41. Make larger43. Mentally prepare44. Palm starch46. Former Italian currency47. Dawn goddess49. Big wine holder50. Dregs51. Goober54. Carve in stone56. Stop57. Kill in large numbers

63. Diva's solo64. Jump up and down65. Silk-cotton tree66. Smelting waste67. Mortgage68. Follow as a result69. Being70. Makes a mistake71. Clairvoyants

DOWN1. Yachting cap2. Ends a prayer3. Deliver a tirade4. Rodents5. Watchful6. Heartens7. Underwater missile8. Wings9. Foursome10. Also played on a beach11. French for "Love"12. Aquatic mammals13. Provide21. Tropical vine25. Calf meat26. Tuft27. Vipers28. Kill29. Portion34. Negative statements36. French cheese37. Monster38. Popular hot beverages

40. You (archaic)42. Tally mark45. Retaliator48. Mainstay51. Stage52. Noblemen53. Assumed name

55. Treks on foot58. French for "Black"59. Alley60. Church alcove61. See the sights62. Anagram of "Seek"

66

Sudoku - Easy, Medium, Hard

“But really, what matters?” - Mike Ware (dearly deported)

Crossword

PUZZLES

NEW! ‘Gram of the Week

77 Social

“C’mon! This is easy!” - Mr. Miller

By Matt Braddock ’16Staff Writer

With large backyard summer gatherings coming to a close and the upcoming release of FIFA on September 22nd, I’m coming up on a big fork in the already beaten path that is my social life. On one side is a nicely lit Victorian House that symbolizes a pretty sweet high school party, and on the other side I’m in my basement playing FIFA. I really do like FIFA and I’m pretty sure I’m the best player at Priory (Don’t let Sai or John Forshaw tell you otherwise. I have put both of them to shame on multiple occasions), but my commitment to a video game makes my social life take a major hit. After about a month of staying in my basement, I need to deal with Homecoming and Halloween, the two big events of the fall. Those are major league events. I need costumes and corsages. It’s ludicrous to think that I can hop off the couch and insert myself back into the social scene at such prestigious events. I’d make a complete fool out of myself. I need a couple less stressful social experiences under my belt before I can return to commit to anything that large. Easy enough right? I’ll just go see what everyone is doing next

weekend! Wrong! I’ve been out of the social scene for a month by this point. No one in Saint Louis will remember who I am, so why would anyone invite me into their home? There’s no answer to that question. My only real option is to invite myself to some parties in an attempt to break back into the social scene. It’ll be like a minor league rehab assignment before I can return to the majors.

Inviting yourself to a party is an art. There’s a fine line between suavely slipping back into the social scene and looking like a complete idiot while doing it, and I’m trying to walk that tightrope. However, if the self-inviter doesn’t care about opinions, look no further than Strategic Party Self-Inviting Ta c t i c a l E x t r a v a g a n z a ’s (SPSITE).

Option 1: Text the host the morning of the party and blatantly ask to come. If he says no, offer to bring a fruit basket. The absurdity of that statement will result in a yes. When you arrive at the party, don’t actually bring the fruit basket. No one wants your fruit basket. You were invited because you were stubborn and ignorant to any social cues. The host has a party to plan, he doesn’t want to fight with you right now. You’re a

runaway freight train, all he can do is step to the side and let you pass.

Option 2 is for those hosts that you usually don’t know as well. Maybe you met them once at a 7th grade priory mixer and haven’t talked to them since 8th grade. Whatever the situation may be, the key is that you’re not close enough to the host to be offended at the lack of an initial invite. Here you need to see a post of the party on some sort of social media (unless it’s Google+). After that, phase two calls for you to sarcastically comment on your nonexistent invite through the same medium that informed you. The person will reply something like, “OMG no plz come!!” because that’s the politically correct thing to do. You are acquaintances, so she won't do anything to break your heart out of the blue. Pounce on that fake invite like your favorite jungle cat would (Ocelot, in my case). Make the host pay for her i n s i n c e r e p o l i t e n e s s a n d immediately text the her for an address.

Option 3 is my favorite. Use this when the host is some person (Person B) you don’t get along with but you have a strong mutual friend connection. Your friend (Person A) is going to have to lie also. Make sure he or

she is okay with that concept. We don’t want to ruin anyone’s moral compass over a party invite. Make that good mutual friend text the host the morning of the party. The host is excited for them to come. Oh, no! Wait! Your parents are out of town and you need to spend the night with Person A! That, of course, is a lie. Person A’s hands are tied. If you were actually at their house, they couldn’t do anything without you. Person B will recognize this and muster up the little empathy they have for your situation. The best part of this option is that you don’t have to tell Person B you wanted to go to his or her party. Person B will think your hands are just as tied as person A’s and his or her own.

Don’t overuse these. Don’t be that guy. If you offer everyone in Saint Louis a fruit basket you're going to get a reputation. If you keep saying your parents are out of town, child services will show up. Too much of anyth ing i s a bad th ing . Especially when that thing is inviting yourself into someone else’s home through deceit.

How to Invite Yourself to a Party

Follow along all season with the Priory Rebels Varsity

Soccer Team on Instagram @PriorySoccer

Also, follow the Spirit Club on Twitter (@PriorySpirit)

for game updates and themes

Nick Sarni (@nhsarni) Posted this photo from a recent trip to Oregon. Nick travelled to Oregon to photograph for his

Senior Thesis, and dropped by the Nike Headquarters to top it all off.

88 Varsity Sport UpdatesFootball Update

“Oh Dear” - Father Ralph

By Patrick Gallagher ’16 (Staff Writer) & Chris White

After a long and hot offseason, your Priory Rebels kicked-off their 2015 season in a promising season opener against Soldan. The team put in a lot of work during the offseason to develop sophomore talent and perfect Marty Combs’ playbook. But after a sweltering few months o f workou t s and scrimmages, they were ready to face their first challenge against Soldan.

Captains, Andrew Rund and Colin Croghan were the Rebels umbrella through the first game against Soldan, leading them through the storm and into victory. The Rebels led off the season with a perfectly placed onside kick (the Clayton Hamby special) and was recovered by a

speedy Chris White. The Rebels took off from there, outscoring their opponent 21-6 in the first quarter. It seemed as if the Rebels couldn’t be stopped as Andrew Rund ran right over the Soldan defense. The Rebels let off the throttle in the second, giving up two touchdowns. One of which was due to a large blunder by CB #24 that resulted in a Soldan touchdown. With Rebel tackling at its finest, the Priory defense dug in their cleats and allowed no points in the second half. Coming off of the exciting performance, junior Holden Wilmson led the team in a fiery post-game dance off in the locker room.

Next they had to take on Mr. Parent's old friends at St. Mary's. The stage was set last Saturday when an impressive number of Priory fans came out for the

home opener and free hats. The offense marched the ball down the field on nearly all of their drives. Connor Donnelly had a spectacular performance, rushing for 113 yards while also catching a four yard touchdown. Senior quarterback Andrew Rund directed the offense at a very high level. Apparently, Andrew played the game on a broken ankle, but his stat line suggests that Derek the Trainer may have been false in his diagnosis. Andrew threw for 266 yards and two touchdowns wi th no interceptions. He also ran the ball nine times for 41 yards and three touchdowns. Mick Nonette had his coming home party on Saturday, after taking the last year off, when he caught his first ball of the game. He made two defenders miss and took it to the barn for a 94 yard touchdown.

Mick managed to secure six catches for a total of 127 yards on the day. On the defensive side of the ball, Colin Croghan and Jim Carey impressed all who tuned in. Colin had 11 solo and three assisted tackles and laid down the hammer with two sacks; while Jim had six solo and three assisted tackles to go along with three sacks on the day. The game was fast paced and hot but Priory charged through, coming out victorious 37-34.

Please spread the word on Tweeter, Instagram, and Tinder about the game on Saturday at 10 a.m. against John Burroughs at JBS. There is a white out theme, so make sure to wear white because the theme is WHITE OUT. Please don’t be that guy to show up in a black outfit.

By Chris Holland ’16 andMark Ciapciak ’17Soccer Staff Writers

A near-perfect start to the season has left the Varsity Soccer Team with four wins and a burning desire for revenge against John Burroughs. The first game was a rematch of last year’s first game: Priory vs. Whitfield, a battle to advance to the semi-finals of the annual Metro League Tournament. Both teams started off a tad slow, but unwavering efforts from Freshmen Will Mohrmann and Drew Ahle r ing kep t Whi t f ie ld on the i r hee l s throughout the match. Junior Mark Ciapiack got the ball rolling for the Rebels with a side of the foot finish to gain a 1-0 lead. A tap-in goal from Patrick Milburn sealed the victory. The Rebels were victorious.

The semi-finals produced a classic rivalry matchup: Priory vs. MICDS. The Rebels came out flying and created numerous chances to score before the strapping John Forshaw drew a foul inside their box; setting Alex Mellas up for his first goal of the season.

The Rebel’s third soccer game of the year was at home against an aggressive Parkway Central. Priory started the game off well with Alex Mellas slotting an exquisite through ball to Mark Ciapciak, which he was able to score on. Priory built upon its lead ten minutes later when John Forshaw found himself in the “right place at the right time” and put away a rebound. The second half did not go as well for the Rebels. The fact that it was our third game in five days was made evident by the careless mistakes and

decreased energy following a hard-fought first forty minutes. The Colts made the most of their chances and tied the game with only minutes left to play. Fo l lowing an uneven t fu l overtime, the two teams headed into penalty kicks. After going down early, the game was s a l v a g e d t h a n k s t o t w o magnificent saves by Junior goalkeeper Andrew Stange. The large visiting crowd left the field with a bad taste in their mouths courtesy of the “Rebel between the pipes.”

In the Championship Game o f t h e M e t r o L e a g u e Tournament, the soccer Rebels faced off against a talented John Burroughs squad. The Bombers scored within the first thirty seconds due to an unfortunate bounce. Priory had a few chances in the f i rs t half

following the early Burroughs goal, but were not able to convert. In the second half, the Bombers put the game away with a header goal. Priory’s first loss of the season came as a result of tired players and an absence of finishing ability. Fortunately, the Rebels have a chance at redemption against their rivals, with a game scheduled later in the season. The soccer team plans to learn from this loss and grow as a team as they attempt to fix the gap in their game that were exposed by a talented Burroughs team. The Priory soccer team couldn’t have asked for a better start to the season, proving itself a potential favorite to win the Metro League. However, it will be a long road to the top. Go Rebels.

Soccer Update