The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 22

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ContentsJUNE

20112

VOLUME 8, ISSUE 22 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“There is still a largely closeted gay population who wants change and wants these groups and organizations within the community

but doesn’t want to put in the effort required to achieve it.”— David E. Bowman how times have changed (somewhat) for gay Chattanoogans.

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“Collections offer rich artistic experiences, and I found it particularly heartening to discover the array of diverse styles and media

offered by our Knoxville neighbors.” — Michael Crumb on the "Point Time" exhibition at the AVA Gallery.

15

“There are a lot of really cool people, producers, promoters, and artists in the Southeast, which also makes me think

that it’s the next hub for music.” — Johnny Love (aka "Deathface") on the musical future of the region.

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Nightfall 2011 - Friday Night!Bekka Bramlett

Want to watch a video of this week's Nightfall headliner? Download the FREE "QR Reader"

on your smartphone and scan this code.

“Consider this: statistics show that a kid who is merely perceived to be gay, whether he actually is or not, has a suicide rate three times

higher than his classmates. Who would do that to a child?” — Dr. Rick on the onoing perceptions of homosexuality and "coming out".

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President Jim Brewer, II

Publisher Zachary Cooper

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

News Editor / Layout Gary Poole

Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins

Advertising Sales Jaye Brewer, Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih

Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Leanne Strickland

Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier

ContributorsGustavo Arellano, David E. Bowman

Rob Brezsny, Dave CastanedaChuck Crowder, Michael Crumb

John DeVore, Rick Pimental-Habib Janis Hashe, Claire HortonJoshua Hurley Matt Jones Louis Lee, Kelly Lockhart

Ernie Paik, Alex Teach

Editorial CartoonistRick Baldwin

Editorial InternsLauren Haynes, Taylor Ralph

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Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Pulse Beats

Riverbend Making Changes To The Strut, Smoking Policy

NEWS “This has been horrible. All of us should feel ashamed

and embarrassed.” — Hamilton County School Board

member Linda Mosley, on the controversy over the buyout of

Superintendent Dr. Scales’ contract.

"Q"

As hundreds of workers and volunteers get the riverfront ready for the start of next week’s River-bend Festival, event organizers announced several changes to the event. New this year to the popu-lar street festival held on Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd will be restricted access to the site along with bag checks and possibly more.

“The Strut should be safe and enjoyable for ev-eryone attending,” said Mayor Ron Littlefield. “In years past, a small group of people have exploited the event and spoiled the fun for everyone. That’s not fair to the many thousands of folks who attend the Strut and we’re addressing the problem.”

The venue will have controlled entrance and exit points. Police officers and Riverbend vol-unteers will be monitoring patrons for illegal or suspicious behavior. “One of the best forms of security is controlled access,” said Police Chief Bobby Dodd.

“While we want everyone to enjoy themselves at this unique event, please know that enhanced security measures will be evident and enforced. We expect everyone attending the Strut to con-duct themselves in a responsible and respectful manner.”

This year’s venue will have four access points. If you are going to the Strut, plan to enter and exit at any of the following locations:

• West Entrance at ML King Boulevard and Lindsay Street • East Entrance at ML King Boulevard and Peeples Street. • North Entrance at the Intersection of 8th Street and University Street. • South Entrance at the intersection of 10th Street and Foster Street.

No entry will be permitted through parking or vacant lots, building, or over barricades. Officials with the festival and the po-lice department af-firmed that anyone attempting to enter outside of a desig-nated entry point will be charged with disorderly conduct. They also added that if additional access points are needed to handle patrons, they will be opened and staffed.

“The Strut is a significant part of the Riverbend Festival and we are proud to produce it in support of the Martin Luther King merchants association and for the people of our community,” said Chip Baker, Executive Director of Friends of the Festi-val. “It’s important for everyone to be responsible for each other and to enjoy a truly great event.”

Additionally, all vendors inside the venue will have Vendor ID cards to ensure only proper in-dividuals are selling food, alcohol or merchandise inside the Strut. Alcohol sales will end at 8:30 p.m. and final food sales will end at 9 p.m.

Another change has been the expansion of no-smoking areas within the main riverfront site. The festival has partnered with the Chattanooga-Hamilton County Health Department, Regional Health Council, Memorial Health Care System and the Smoke Free Chattanooga Coalition in

this change.“Although we are an outdoor festival, we are

happy to team up with the Health Department in a way that is responsible to all of our event at-tendees,” said Baker. The expanded no-smoking area will be located throughout the festival and will help reduce individual exposure to second-hand smoke.

The newly expanded no-smoking areas include:• All VIP areas, box seating, star seating, and handicapped areas in front of the Coca-Cola Stage.• Tennessee Valley Amphitheater—all seating.• Unum Stage—all fixed and folding chair areas.• Children’s Area—west, near the Olgiati Bridge.“We are so excited that Friends of the Festi-

val has decided to help promote and improve the health of the residents in Hamilton County and everyone who visits the Riverbend Festival,” said Becky Barnes, administrator at the Chattanooga-Hamilton County Health Department.


Separating Storm DebrisCatoosa County and Ringgold are continuing the process of clean up from the April 27 tornado, and the private contractor assisting with the debris cleanup has collected a tremendous amount of debris. Residents should continue placing storm-related debris at the street for curbside pickup. Your assistance with separating vegetative and non-vegetative debris, and segregating household hazardous waste will help speed the process countywide. Citizens affected by the storm event and needing tree and brush debris picked up at the side of the roads should contact public works division at (706) 935-3574 to be placed on pick up schedule. This is especially the case with residents outside the main impact area.Mike Helton Catoosa County Manager

Society and GunsIt is obvious to all but the most misguided that this country has far too easy access to handguns. One has only to note all the shootings and murders just the past few months here in our own city and see how the epidemic of gun violence has grown to disastrous proportions. And yet, our city and

county leaders do absolutely nothing about the violence. The mayor can go on radio and complain about the gun-show loophole all he wants , but until he actually begins leading instead of complaining, nothing will ever be done. Where are the politicians with the integrity and bravery to take on the bullying tactics of the NRA and their ilk to

do what needs to be done to stem the flood of guns flowing into our community?Cynthia Powell

Why So Many Murders?What is this country coming to? It’s not worth killing anyone and knowing you’re going to jail for maybe for the rest of your life. I wouldn’t want to spend one day in prison.Gilbert Tonka

Cancer Society BenefitThe American Cancer Society is rolling out the red carpet, old Hollywood style, for Summer In The City V. Join us as we bring the silver screen to the scenic city. Festivities will include cuisine from local restaurants, a silent auction and live music. Guests are encouraged to dress like their favorite old Hollywood star. The event will be held at the Tivoli Theater on August 20 starting at 7 p.m. Tickets are $75 and all proceeds will benefit the Chattanooga Chapter of the American Cancer Society. To purchase tickets visit www.chattanoogasummerinthecity.orgKathryn Grant American Cancer Society

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OpinionNEWS


Politics & CrimeNEWS

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, June 7 meeting of

the Chattanooga City Council.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office,

the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

5. Ordinances - Final Reading: e) An ordinance amending Ordinance No. 12312 extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to change the effective date of annexation of certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City, to include certain parcels, known as Area 6A, adjacent to the western right-of-way of Highway 58 and Turkeyfoot Road within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chat-tanooga in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map.

This is one of several ordinances that are expand-ing the borders of the city, due to several recent court rulings and settlements. Also coming up for a final vote is Area 6B, adjacent to the west-ern right-of-way of Highway 58 and adjacent to the right-of-way for Hickory Valley Road and Area 6C, adjacent to the eastern and western rights-of-way of Highway 58 up to its inter-section with Harrison-Ooltewah Road, includ-ing portions of other streets named Bent Pine, Congress, Deerwood, Mahlon Clark, Church, Tyner, and Easter.

• If you are operating a meth lab in an apart-ment, it’s best not to have a loud party right next door. Especially if you are throwing the party. Three people were arrested in connec-tion with a working meth lab at an apartment complex in Hixson. Chattanooga police were called around 1 a.m. on a disorder call, but then noticed smoke coming from an adjacent apart-ment. In talking with the occupants of the first apartment, all admitted to having access to the apartment where the meth lab was working. They eventually admitted to operating the lab. The three suspects were arrested and charged with initiating manufacture of a meth lab and possession of drug paraphernalia.

• We’re still not sure why it happened, but a city police officer has some ’splaining to do after he struck and rolled a prisoner transport van. Traffic investigators were called out to an unusual traffic accident on Stein Drive last week. According to the investigating officers, a prisoner transport van carrying two U.S. Im-migration and Customs Enforcement agents and one prisoner was struck by a Chattanooga police patrol unit. The impact of the collision caused the van to roll over. All three occupants of the van were transported to a local hospi-

tal as a precaution due to the rollover; however, their injuries turned out to be minor. The officer was not injured in the incident, though he’s ob-viously going to be filling out a LOT of paperwork for some weeks to come.

• The large retail stores, especially Wal-mart, are enticing tar-gets for shoplifters. This is why they employ “loss prevention” employees and have dozens upon dozens of cameras in each store. Working off such tapes and witness accounts, they were able to give police vehicle and suspect infor-mation on a man who had been helping himself to unpaid-for merchandise at several of their stores in Georgia and Tennessee. So when a Soddy Daisy officer spotted the car, he turned on his blue lights…at which point the driver de-cided to try and make a run for it. Which didn’t work very well, as the car was quickly stopped and the driver, along with his two passengers, were taken into custody. The driver reportedly matched up with surveillance footage from a number of Walmarts, and further charges (be-yond all the traffic offenses) are pending.

• However, it’s not just the big stores that get targeted for “five-finger discounts”. But a man who decided to help himself to some free movies at a local used-book store at least made a bit more of an attempt than most shoplifters to hide his ill-gotten gains. An employee no-ticed a man taking several movies and then hid-ing them under his stroller-riding child. When confronted about the misplaced movies, the man began wrestling with the employee. An officer quickly arrived and subdued the man…and then to make matters worse, found mari-juana on him. The man ended up in the county lockup charged with theft under $500, disor-derly conduct and possession of a controlled substance. As for the movies, we just hope the cases were at least wiped down with a baby wipe before being put back on the shelves.


Be Good. Be Strong. These are words that my best friend Mary Firth lived by every day. During the past several years, these words have become a Firth family motto. Mary’s story is one of tragedy and sorrow—but also of strength and courage. She comes from an extraordinary family with parents that make you feel as if you’re one of their own, and sib-lings that you want to be a part of your family. The Firths have endured a harsh reality: Three of the five children were diagnosed with cancer. The three sib-lings passed away within three years of each other and all were under the age of 36; the most recent being Mary this past February. Mary was diagnosed with melanoma in 2006. I met

her not long after that, and we became fast friends. She endured a lot over the years, dealing with the death of two of her siblings, all the while fighting for her own life. It is a heart-wrenching road that I have followed along with her—but it has also created some of the best memories of my life.

The moment I met Mary I knew she was special. If you had met Mary you would have never known she had cancer. She was friendly, vibrant, warm and hi-larious; everything you look for in a friend. Through some of her darkest hours, Mary made time for friends and family. She still hit you with her sarcasm and wit

and could always put a smile on your face. Her strength and compassion were as awe-inspiring as her outlook on life with the cards she was dealt. She truly was a one-of-a-kind and rare friend; one that will never be re-placed in many hearts. My memories of Mary

will always be filled with lots of laughter and wine, dance parties, road trips singing karaoke to cheesy ’80s music, late-night talks, Irish coffees, making dinner, good-night text messages, friendship, love and much more. These memories of my friend have driven me to do my part in finding a cure for cancer. Mary always had a dream of starting a bike-ride

fundraiser in Chattanooga to raise money for cancer research. She was inspired by her sister Jennie, who has raised a substantial amount of money for advanced cancer research by run-ning in the Boston marathon with Dana Farber Cancer Institute for the past

three years. Some of Mary’s closest friends jumped on board with her vision and discussions began about creating this event. Unfortunately Mary passed away days after our initial meeting. As a group, we decided to continue making her dream a reality. We decided the name Ride For Life. Be Good. Be

Strong. was fitting and definitely would have had Mary’s approval. The bike ride will be held on June 4, 2011 on Signal Mountain with options of participating in either a 10-or a 25-mile bike ride. Supporters can also choose to be a virtual rider if they are unable to attend. All proceeds will go to Dana Farber Cancer Institute in hopes that advanced technology will one day save another friend’s life by find a cure for can-cer. Information on how to become a rider or donate can be found on our Facebook page or on www.bik-ereg.com.We ride not only for Mary and her siblings, but also

for all those who are loved and lost their lives to can-cer and for those still fighting today. Please support our cause by which so many are affected and help make Mary’s dream of one day curing cancer come true.

By Claire Horton, Pulse Contributing Writer

Finding a Way to Be Good, Be StrongBeyond The HeadlinesOPINION

“Mary always had a dream of starting a bike-ride fundraiser in Chattanooga to raise money for cancer research.”


If you’ve never heard firsthand any of the inspirational coming out stories that provide courage and strength for others to be who they are, without apology, without fear of God’s condemnation, and oftentimes without the support of loved ones, then you’re missing something powerful.

Coming out is no small feat. And it is certainly no small feat in the South. I recently had the privilege of hearing David Sedaris give a live reading from several of his works. David is a prolific humorist, NPR cult favorite and New York Times best-selling novelist. And David is an out, gay man. From the South. While he now lives mostly in England and until recently, France—two of a growing number of countries that have enacted historic legislature supportive of gay partnerships and GLBT rights—he understands and writes about his experiences growing up in the South with bittersweet tales that can have you tearing up one minute, and laughing out loud the next.

In the audience that evening I saw a man looking around at the crowd, and he said to a group of his friends, “I love this. Look…all my favorite Chattanooga people are here tonight!” And that resonated deeply with me. Because as I looked around, I saw this excited, eclectic, happy mix of folks—gay, non-gay, interracial couples, mixed-generation groups. In other words, all the colors of the rainbow. This is the kind of thing that does my heart good. It’s what I’m used to from other regions of the country where I’ve lived and is always a joyful and hopeful experience for me when it happens here.

People who come out aren’t always gay, you know. Parents also come out as having a gay son or daughter, and they themselves sometimes face rejection for loving and accepting their gay children unconditionally. Sometimes it’s the siblings. Sometimes the kids and adult children of gay parents who might face unspeakable cruelty in schools and among their “friends.” And also coming out are straight allies who, despite the potential rejection they may face in their own circles, believe that all human beings deserve to be treated equally, and all of

our Creator’s children are deserving of unconditional love. And because quite simply, the world is a richer, more colorful and vibrant place to live when we accept each other with open arms and open hearts, without condition, judgment, or fear. I mean, really, what is it we’re all so afraid of?

Consider this: statistics show that a kid who is merely perceived to be gay, whether he actually is or not, has a suicide rate three times higher than his classmates. Who would do that to a child?

The New York Times recently did a groundbreaking piece about young people’s coming out experiences. Most of the stories are from young adults and teens, and while some are positive and inspirational, most are heartbreaking. Consider these quotes from the youths interviewed for that article: “Every day feels like you are getting ready for war.” “My parents and grandparents have disowned me.” “This is no choice.” “I was the one who bullied him because I thought it helped me hide my own secret.” “I packed my bags in case I was going to be

evicted from my own home.” “I can’t wait for the day when one’s sexuality is not a burden.” “I knew I was going further than my bully ever would.” “He said, ‘I am your father first before I am a minister.’” “Being openly gay gives me the courage to overcome any fear.”

Those who come out, despite the obstacles, to live their lives genuinely and fully are nothing short of heroes to the young man in a small, conservative Midwestern town who is terrified of losing his parents’ love should he be honest with them. And to the young woman sitting among her deeply-rooted Southern congregation each Sunday, hearing her pastor’s words of damnation about those whom she knows, in her quiet, trembling heart, are her tribe. And so those coming out stories are hope. They are possibility. They are, quite literally, life-savers.

I spotted one of my favorite bumper stickers recently: “God Bless Everyone. No Exceptions.”

People who don’t accept and love someone just because they are gay or lesbian may have their reasons. Those who speak loudly against human rights have a lot to say. But they really aren’t saying all that much about gay people (or whatever oppressed minority pricks their ire). They are, however, telling quite a story about themselves.

Until next time: “One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.” — William Shakespeare

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his web site at www.DrRPH.com

Telling Our Rainbow Stories

Dr. Rick

Shrink RapOPINION

“I spotted one of my favorite bumper stickers recently: ‘God

Bless Everyone. No Exceptions.’”


The closet is open—but some still block the doorBeing Gay In ChattanoogaCOVER STORY

Out and About in Chattanooga

By David E. Bowen, Pulse Contributing Writer

When local lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender people are asked, “What’s it like to be gay in Chattanooga?”, the responses are as varied as the unique individuals who comprise our local LGBT community. Being gay in Chattanooga isn’t much different than being gay in many other small cities across America. An individual’s level of content-ment can be directly related to the acceptance they feel within the community—which is often connected to how involved they are in the local gay scene. Beyond that, there is still the struggle to find acceptance and tolerance. Popular televi-sion shows like Modern Family certainly expose more people to the fact that we’re all just people who are trying to live and love together in this big, crazy world.

“Within the last ten years, I do think things have simmered down in Chattanooga,” says Heather Grinder. “What I mean by simmered down is that it is not uncommon to see two girls or boys holding hands at a mall or at a festival or in public in gen-eral. There are always those people who are going to sneer but there are a lot of people who smile and are happy that we have the guts to do it!” Heather states that she is proud to be a lesbian and she does hold hands in public with her lover.


Being Gay In ChattanoogaCOVER STORY

“There is still a largely closeted gay population who wants change and wants these groups and organizations within the community but doesn’t want to put in the effort required to achieve it.”

Corey, a 32-year-old black, gay male who is partnered with a white man says that there is “still an atmosphere of nervousness being out in public” for him but that, “Society is some-what more accepting, more exposed now. It is more common now to see guys together, even hugging, talking more openly, not hiding so much.” Growing up, Corey said being gay in Chattanooga was just not tolerated, not in the family, not in school and not at work. He feels that 15 years ago, “out”gay life in Chat-tanooga was almost nonexistent. There was no one to talk to and gay men of color were very hard to find.

“I used to just want to get away,” he says, but now Corey is “proud of Chattanooga” and loves living here. “I love it; the clubs and restaurants are more gay-friendly. The gay community itself through various groups do public events like miniature golfing, attending mystery theatre or going out to eat in larger groups that allow gay men and women to get together and enjoy one another’s company.” He says there is still a small-town feeling in Chattanooga and sometimes they get stares but people don’t really say much to them. “Progress has been made; change is slow but constant.”

Not everyone would agree. “I would say that the Chat-tanooga community as a whole has not changed that much in the last few years,” says Rachel McDonald, “with the exception of the gay community events we attend, we are mostly looked down on and receive looks of dis-gust.” Rachel is a young, white woman who is partnered with a black woman and they have three biracial children, including an autistic son. “Most times we feel outcast here. Chattanooga is not as gay-friendly as I would like it to be.” Rachel and her partner are not as openly accepted as she had hoped they would be when she relocated her family here from rural Tennessee. “We simply love each other and have a happy family.

“Would I say that being gay in Chattanooga is harder than being gay in other parts of the country? I would say

yes. I know there are places out there much more ac-cepting because I have visited them, like Dallas and Key West. That gives me hope and inspiration that one day the entire country will be the same way and love us all for loving love and accept us for who we are.” Rachel feels it’s unfortunate how close-minded many Chattanooga resi-dents are to equal rights.

“For the most part, I feel like Chattanooga is in this ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ frame of mind,” observes Mike Kelly, who along with his partner Ardyce Mercier raise

their two daughters and is very socially and politically active within the community. “We have mixed feelings about what it is like to be gay in Chattanooga. It’s not easy, that’s for sure. Being out in Tennessee is even harder. It might be easier if we ignored the inequality in our city and especially in our state.

“I’d like to say things have changed, but with our new legislators, I think things have

stalled.” Mike feels that bills such as what he refers to as the “Special Access to Discriminate Act” (Act SB632/HB600) support his belief. This bill specifically over-turns Metro Nashville’s Contract Accountability Non-Discrimination Ordinance and prevents every city and county in Tennessee from passing similar laws protecting LGBT people from being fired strictly due to their sexual orientation or identity. “There are also bills proposed by our legislators that would encourage bullying and anti-LGBT behavior, primarily in grades K-8,” he says.

Heather Grinder says that “the hardest job to have and be gay is as a public servant,” citing teachers, firefighters, policemen and women as examples. “As long as it is kept quiet, parents are good with it. But if it becomes public knowledge, people act like they are afraid their kids will



‘catch something’ if they are around them. With leg-islation like the so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill which prohibits public servants from talking about homo-sexuality with kids through the eighth grade, Heather is concerned about kids not having someone to talk to when they need them. “More and more kids are com-ing out everyday. They are going to need someone that they can talk to. The rate of gay teen suicide is so high already.” She is not alone; there is great concern that these kinds of bills will only make matters worse. Heather feels there is a need for clubs or organizations for gay youth, such as those of-fered at many colleges.

SPECTRUM, the gay-straight alliance at University of Tennessee at Chattanooga is one such organization. Mike and Ardyce are both in-volved in volunteering for this group, as well as others.

As parents, taxpayers, homeowners and business own-ers, Mike and Ardyce are committed to making Chat-tanooga and Tennessee a better place to live for every-one. They are involved in their children’s school, their church, community projects and fundraisers, as well as within the LGBT community. They strongly feel that gay and straight people can both help fight for equal-

ity. Within their own family, they have taught their girls to be proud of their family and themselves and teach them tolerance, even against those who hate. Equality Everywhere Chattanooga is a newer organization that supports all local and area-wide LGBT community or-ganizations and is working hard to create a community center. Mike and Ardyce are also board members of Tennessee Valley Pride and co-chairs of the Tennessee

Equality Project for Hamilton and Bradley counties, a group that fights and speak out against anti-LGBT leg-islation and promotes positive bills.

Chattanooga’s gay community offers a thriving scene filled with widespread opportunities to interact in a va-riety of venues. While the three Chattanooga gay bars (Alan Gold’s, Chuck’s II and Images) offer social in-teraction and nightlife to the gay community, the city

is home to many other groups and organizations that bring gay men and women together for many other shared interests, from singing and acting to sports and religion and just plain old socializing.

“Chattanooga is 20 years behind more progressive, larger cities, which surprises me since Chattanooga is such a gay city,” says Jeremy, a 34-year-old single gay man who moved here in 2004 after frequenting the

city’s gay clubs in the mid-’90s. “While there has been a lot of progress made with various groups, and there are more social opportunities, I’m not sure the community has really come together strongly as a whole.” He feels there is still a lot of disengagement and not enough commitment within the gay community. “The political atmosphere here is maybe 10 years too

late. Change is slow; it’s hard to keep people interested and focused.”

Chuck Hill, president of Tennessee Valley Pride, an organization that is politically active in Chattanooga and keeps the gay community informed, explains that there is still a largely closeted gay population who “wants change and wants these groups and organizations within the community but doesn’t want to put in the effort

“What I mean by simmered down is that it is not uncommon to see two

girls or boys holding hands at a mall or at a festival or in public in general.”



required to achieve it.”Along with his partner Mario Forte, co-

founder of the Lookout Mountain Bears, a gay social group for men, Chuck has been instrumental in the creation and develop-ment of social clubs and organizations such as the bear group and the Greater Chat-tanooga Pride Softball Association, which sponsors two softball teams consisting of approximately 30 gay men and women. The traveling team took second place this year in Birmingham’s Southern Shootout Softball Tournament.

When Mario first moved to Chattanooga from Atlanta, he noticed there wasn’t a lot of gay life outside of the bars. Having belonged to a bear group in other places, he quickly realized the need for such a social group here, and the Lookout Bears were born. Ten-nessee Valley Pride had existed for years in name only until Hill became its president and started promoting the organization.

Additionally, he writes a quarterly newsletter, “The TVP Advocate”, which helps to keep the community informed about things happening around the area. Similarly, the cou-ple took some of their personal hobbies to the next level and created opportunities for other gay men and women to enjoy these activities with their fellow GLBT community. The result was the creation of The Tennessee Valley Pride Singers, Pride and Rainbow Bowling Leagues and the soft-ball association.

In 1998, the Bears hosted a bowling night that has today morphed into a gay bowling league that participates year round in Wednesday and Sunday night leagues at two dif-ferent Chattanooga bowling alleys. This is just one example of how gay men got together for a social evening and grew it into something embraced by the community as a whole. “The bowling alleys have been great. They welcomed our league and accommodated us as we grew and the one time we had an incident from someone in public, the manage-ment quickly stepped up and resolved the issue, making it known they would not tolerate and discrimination or ha-rassment,” says Mario.

Clearly, Chattanooga offers its gay community many dif-ferent outlets for those who want to be involved, improve their own lives and make a difference.

Being gay in Chattanooga offers lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgendered and questioning people many more options to be involved in their community than in the past. And most of the people I spoke with are more involved today, not just socially, but with their families, with their jobs, with their schools, with their churches and with one another. There is less of a stigma about being gay today compared to even five or 10 years ago and more and more gay men and women are comfortable with living their lives more openly.

Perhaps Rachel summed up the way most feel when she says, “My wish for Chattanooga is that people would under-stand that we are all humans. Whether we find love with the same sex, same race, opposite sex or an opposite race, we are all people seeking love and when we find it, it should be accepted.”

Chattanooga LGBT GroupsTennessee Valley Pride: www.tennesseevalleypride.comLookout Bears: www.lookoutbears.orgEquality Everywhere Chattanooga: www.facebook.com/Equality-Everywhere-ChattanoogaTennessee Equality Project, Hamilton and Bradley Counties: www.tnep.org/hamilton/bradleyUTC Gay/Straight Alliance (SPECTRUM): www.collegiatelink.net/organization/spectrumWatch UTC’s SPECTRUM’s contribution to the “It Gets Better” project at www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrwCVafkFfi

“There are also bills proposed by our [state] legislators that would encourage bullying and anti-LGBT behavior, primarily in grades K-8.”


Artist Jean Hess of Knoxville has curated a show of Knoxville artists that has been hung at the AVA Gallery on Frazier. I very much recommend attending the opening re-ception on Friday, June 3 from 5:30 to 8 p.m.

Collections offer rich artistic experiences, and I found it particularly heartening to discover the array of diverse styles and media offered by our Knoxville neighbors. I suspect that Lauren Goforth has been heroic in her effort to hang more than 40 pieces by 35 artists in AVA’s limited display space. Somehow these pieces have sufficient space to emerge into connection with viewers, and I found a subtle sense of con-tinuity among these works such that pieces are adjacent to others of stylistic harmony. Jerry Dale McFadden and Mark Bradley-Shoup also contributed to this show’s organization; props to all!

This show is named “Point Time” after Jean Hess’s piece, “Point-Time: Everyplace Everyone Has Ever Lived.” Her work faces those who enter the gallery, and the sense of universal-ity of this painting’s theme seems apt to introduce the diverse presentations of so many artists. Hess’s work (mixed media on wood), essentially a geometric abstract, shows a group of

small circles apparently connected by rods with a kind of rain-bow range of colors providing both tones and a sense of tex-ture. I was reminded of molecular structure; when a lady just entering the gallery remarked, “It’s like constellations.” Just so. This sort of concept cosmically embraces both the micro

and the macro levels, like chemical structure or the biologic struc-ture of vision.

With so many pieces on view, it’s not pos-sible to detail all the variations, outside of the sparseness of a cu-rator’s list, but I would like to discuss some of these works, especially since some exemplify important themes in contemporary art.

Let me begin with the stone. Alan Finch’s “Native Light” dwells in the tension of restraint. In Taos, where artists love to play with rocks, I repeatedly heard the injunction” “Let the stone find its own form.” In actual practice this process can take a long time. These words seemed to flow around this

harmonious whitish-yellow rock. A sense of restraint is required of the viewer, for this rock invites the tactile sense. Finch’s work on this rock is hardly minimal. Its face curves on all sides in graceful variation. Could more have been done? The question illustrates the dynamic form of this stone; this tension of sculpting and of holding back results in a splendid rock.

Goforth indicated “Dangled” by Althea Murphy. An astonishing lithograph in which many single strands convey the three-di-

mensional impression of human hair arranged in a braid, a curve suggestive of an artist’s smile.

Some of the works show great intricacy. Poised like a greeter stands “Tara” by Denise Stewart-Sanabria. The near-lifesize portrait of charcoal on plywood proves that photore-

alism still has potential. For a long time I have believed that any artist can achieve greatness in any medium. Visit AVA for a confirma-tion of this maxim.

David Wolff’s “Vio-let 2” exemplifies the ambition of abstraction to maintain visual en-gagement. This acrylic on canvas with its predominantly mauve forms intricately leads the eye from part to part in endless avidity.

On a formal level, Cindy Latham’s “Par-

ticle Burst” (ink and acrylic) has some elements in common with Hess’s work. Usually, art relates to science in a realistic manner. It’s refreshing to find an imaginative vision applied to difficult scientific concepts.

A video display working with multiple frames, “Finding Home” by Tinajero works with animate birds in an engross-ing presentation that processes ideas once associated with canvases into the more flexible electronic screen. What TV could be!

The exhibit’s largest piece flaunts the contemporary in-dustrial aesthetic with a happily valid satirical impulse. Bar-ron Hall’s “Gear Study 2.0 for Grandfather Clock” keeps its kinetic qualities in static tension with a woodchock brake.

Please tour this fine collection of fellow Tennesseans.

Our Artistic NeighborsFeatureARTS

By Michael Crumb, Pulse Arts Writer

“Collections offer rich artistic experiences, and I found it particularly heartening to discover the array of diverse styles and media offered by our Knoxville neighbors.”

“Point Time”AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave.(423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org


Arts & Events CalendarARTS

ThursdayArt + Issues: Gender6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.orgWine Tasting 101: Experience Oregon!6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 East 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.comBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. Mystery of the TV Talk Show7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. Chattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

FridayDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. “Serendipity” Exhibit Opening Reception5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214. www.intowngallery.com

“Point Time” Exhibit Opening Reception5:30 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282. www.avarts.orgDevChatt5:30 p.m. Main St. www.devchatt.orgDream Night5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322. www.chattzoo.orgBorn to be Wild 3D6 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org“Inside & Out” Exhibit Opening Reception6:30 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.comUltimate Wave Tahiti 3D7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgMystery of Flight 1387 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comLandry7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.comShort Attention Span Theatre: Speed Dating7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.comBorn to be Wild 3D8 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgChattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D9 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgStand Up Comedy: Vince Morris9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comChattanooga’s Soul Fridays10 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658.Female Impersonation ShowMidnight. Images Showbar, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

SaturdayRock and Ride Festival9 a.m. Mystery Dog Ranch, 975 Wooten Rd. hozhotherapeutic.org/RocknRideBrainerd Farmers Market10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.Chattanooga River Market10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.comDevChatt10:30 a.m. Main St. www.devchatt.orgArt till DarkNoon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.comGeorgia Winery Grill & ChillNoon. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pklwy., Ringggold. (706) 937-WINE. www.georgiawines.comRock City Summer Music SeriesNoon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675.

Short Attention Span Theatre: Speed Dating2 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.comMystery at the Nightmare Office Party5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. Born to be Wild 3D6 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgLookouts vs. Carolina Mudcats7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.comLandry7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.comBorn to be Wild 3D8 p.m. Imax Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org

Art + Issues: GenderDiscussion led by Dr. Heather Palmer based on current exhibit of work by Beverly Semmes.Free 6 p.m.Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View(423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org

Opening Reception for “Point Time”

New exhibit featuring a plethora of East Tennessee

artists. Free

5:30 - 8 p.m. (423) 265-4282.

www.avarts.org

THURSDAY FRIDAY


Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comUltimate Wave Tahiti 3D9 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.orgChattanooga Ghost Hunt9:30 p.m. Patten Chapel, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.comStand Up Comedy: Vince Morris10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.comFemale Impersonation ShowMidnight. Images Showbar, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

SundayDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comChattanooga Market11 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket.com

First Free SundayNoon. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.orgRock City Summer Music SeriesNoon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.comLookouts vs. Carolina Mudcats2:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.comShort Attention Span Theatre: Speed Dating6:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.comChattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

MondayLive Team Trivia6 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5840 Lake Resort Ter. (423) 870-0770. www.chattanoogatrivia.comBluff and Bridges Downtown Tour7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comLookouts vs. Carolina Mudcats7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.comChattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

TuesdaySongwriter’s Line-up7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.

Lookouts vs. Carolina Mudcats7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.comChattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

WednesdayDynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.comLookouts vs. Carolina Mudcats11:15 a.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.comMain Street Farmers Market4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.comChattanooga Ghost Tour8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Ongoing“Dinosaurs!”Chattanooga Zoo, 301 North Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322. www.chattzoo.orgChattanooga Fiber Arts Group ExhibitionNorth River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102. (423) 870-8924.“Between the States”Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.orgKunstmuseum Wolfsburg at the HunterHunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org

“Starcraft”Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.orgBob The Builder - Project: Build ItCreative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org“Old Houses and Courthouses”Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.“Unbound”River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com“Spring Salon in Color!”Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com“The Southern Way: Grits, Gals, and Glory”Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658.Denice Bizot ExhibitonPlanet Altered, 48 E. Main St. (423) 400-4100. www.planetaltered.com“Point Time”AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282. www.avarts.org

Arts & Events CalendarARTS

Short Attention Span Theatre: Speed Dating Ten 10-minute plays by ten authors.$102 p.m.Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Ave.(423) 987-5141.

LA Phil LIVELive broadcast of the LA

Philharmonic playing Brahms with conductor

Gustavo Dudamel.$20

5 p.m.Hamilton Place 10-17,

2000 Hamilton Place Blvd.(423) 855-5951. www.LAPhil.com

SATURDAY SUNDAY


“Bye bye baby…Don’t be long. I’ll worry about you…while you’re gone.” —”Worry About You”, by Ivy

Maggots. They have so many applications in my work

without my ever having to touch them, it’s really quite amazing. They were briefly made popular in the Ridley Scott film Gladiator in 2000 (“Leave them,” Maximus hears through a haze, “they will clean it, you will see…”), but like cops…even when they are at work, they can really make you wince.

Also like police work, I suppose it depends on the setting and the intent, but cops have control of neither so I don’t really think about it. Simple creatures doing far-reaching work.

The call was to check on a man’s well-being at the request of his granddaughter who hadn’t heard from her 82-year-old grandfather for more than a week.

We arrived to what anyone else would have assumed was an abandoned house, but after a few months (years, decades) in East Chattanooga, you knew better. We knocked on the door, but to no avail.

Given the nature of the call, we went a little further than the advocates of the Fourth Amendment would allow and actually knocked on the back door, then windows—and in a final act of jack-booted defiance we threw litigation to the wind and pulled a lawn chair up to a window to look inside.

That’s where we spotted Mr. X (for this story) on his bed, lifeless…save for his right foot. (More on that later.)

I called for EMS while my partner made his way to the front door, and we found it unlocked. Entry was made and we threaded our way through a 90-degree suburb of Hell to find Mr. X on his bed towards the back of the house.

“Disrepair” is how you describe a home that has been lived in but neglected; this house could only be fixed with gasoline and road flares. There was no power, running water,

or food in the residence; only a warm half-gallon jug of water near the front door and week-old bread on a table. The stains on the wall were organic, and any idea of plumbing was as laughable as air conditioning, differing only in that the air vents were plugged by old magazines, whereas the plumbing was choked by pounds of dried feces.

As for our subject: I call him “Mr. X” in this column not just for convenience, but

because he is apparently an “ex-human being”. Discarded. Forgotten.

I approached him as we entered his bedroom and he appeared almost desiccated, with dark parchment for skin, but his eyes were mercifully closed. I went to discern a pulse, and just as I reached him (legs hanging over the edge of his filth-covered bed), I felt the distinct soft, wet squish of a poorly placed step and looked down to find my right boot in a pile of maggots that had emerged from a pocket inside his right foot. Not a big pile, mind you—nothing bad, just a small one—but when it comes to maggots, I find that it never takes many to freak you out. (Well, when they’ve been living in an actual human corpse, anyway.)

I’m pushing my second decade on this job, and folks, when you hear the deceptively simple phrase, “I’ve seen some shit”...folks, I’ve seen it. Touched it. Fought it and been poked by it. But years of preparation aside, I still found myself looking at my feet considering what we in the business call “Freaking the F*%# Out” when, just as I was about to reach a decision, the corpse gasped for air in a scene straight out of the immortal 1995 movie SE7EN.

I’m going to pause here because at that exact second I did, in fact, “Freak the F*%# Out”. I heard music by Seal and Bob Dylan at different points and I’m pretty sure I was wearing a tarp and gliding over an island city in my mind when I came back to reality, and I’ll be damned if after all that trouble I was still by that bed. How incredibly inappropriate…but at least Mr. X was still alive.

I wish to give details from this point, but my recollection is embarrassingly hazy; that said…ambulances arrived. The house was condemned. Adult Protective Services were convened, and in the end, two things changed: Mr. X had his infected foot removed by surgery (as opposed to his entire leg or death, thanks to those ignorantly persistent creatures literally eating his infection), and he was ultimately deemed “Fit to Live Alone” despite this incident, because no matter how dangerous, he simply refused to live with family and the State couldn’t “kidnap” him into a nursing home, they felt, even to keep him alive.

There’s something wrong with “The System,” all right. There’s something wrong with having to worry about getting sued for forced entries even under these circumstances, and for what constitutes judging the ability to care for yourself, but more than that?

There is something really, really wrong with my right boot.And it’s keeping me awake.

The Discarded Man

Alex Teach

On The BeatOPINION

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, car-penter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

“There was no power, running water, or food in the residence; only a warm half-

gallon jug of water near the front door and week-old bread on a table.”


This weekend, get your bass fix at Nightmoves with one of the most intense live shows currently on tour. Deathface will be returning to 412 Market this Saturday to give you a dose of some vampire-friendly, industrial-fused bass music. Be sure to bring plenty of white Ts to this show because it gets messy! I got a chance to speak with Deathface (aka Johnny Love) about what he’s got going on during his 30-plus-stop tour.

Dave C: Just for people who are reading this article that don’t know about Deathface, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your music?

Johnny Love: My involvement in bass music started when I was in the electro group Guns N’ Bombs. I found that elec-tro had become very stagnant and it wasn’t exciting for me to play anymore. So, I started playing more bass-heavy stuff when baseline was just coming up. Dubstep now is completely different than it was four years ago.

DC: How would you describe your music to someone who has never listened to it before?

JL: I don’t listen to just one style of music, I try to meld together different genres of music. I try to put together in-dustrial influences and break core influences. Obviously it’s all 140 BPM and the same basic structure as dubstep, but I try not to do the same thing that everyone else is doing.

DC: How has the “Fall of Man” tour going? What have been some of your favorite stops?

JL: It’s been long. I’ve been touring non-stop for two months now and it keeps going longer. It’s good and I’m not

complaining because not many people get to do stuff like this. Sacramento was awe-some because the weekend before I was in San Francisco with my good friend Star Eyes. She was a drum-and-bass DJ, and now she’s a part of Trouble and Bass. We got re-ally drunk after “goth night” in San Francisco so she threw in this old drum-and-bass arena mix and it was all the hits from 10 years ago and people were going nuts saying, “Oh, man! Drum and bass is awesome!” So, the next night when I was in Sacramento I said I was going

to play some drum and bass. I had a couple drinks and said, “Let’s do this!” and I couldn’t even go back to (playing) dubstep because people were going nuts. San Diego was also awesome because we did a blood bath.

DC: What’s a blood bath?JL: The first time I got the idea it matched

perfectly with the Deathface imagery. I was in Milan, Italy a few years ago on the 30th

of July. There were these two girls who were super fun and all they did was travel across northern Italy going to all these parties. They came to see me play and they were friends with all the promoters. They said, “Hey! We’ve got this bottle of fake blood.” So we proceeded to throw them to everybody at the crowd in the middle of the set. It was really cool; there were videos from that show with people going nuts and do-ing a circle pit. Then I did it in Chicago with a theme party and got a good response, so I just started to do it at every show and it’s always really fun. Unless they aren’t ready for it and they’re wearing something nice and they cry like this

one girl in Atlanta.DC: You’re also

playing some festivals this summer, such as DexFest, with a bunch of producers from the Southeast. What have been some of your fa-vorite things about the Southeast?

JL: Well, I like the Southeast because I feel like it’s the next hub for the musical movement. I lived in Chicago before the

electroclash and after the electroclash and whenever, people would fly into Chicago people would say this is the best city ever. Then, after Chicago fell off I moved to Los Angeles. I moved into Los Angeles when electro was getting really big and then it kind of died down. Even though there is not one central point or one central city like Chicago was, there is a huge web of smaller cities.

I love playing Chattanooga, Wilmington, Nashville, and Charlotte. I haven’t had a chance to play a show in Alabama yet, but I will be down there soon after Dexfest and I can imagine it will be awesome. There is not one show I have been disappointed in when I run through the Southeast. There are a lot of really cool people, producers, promoters, and artists in the Southeast, which also makes me think that it’s the next hub for music.

“There are a lot of really cool people, producers, promoters, and artists in the Southeast, which also makes me think that it’s the next hub for music.”

Get Ready for the Blood BathFeatureMUSIC

By Dave C, Pulse Music Writer

Deathface at Nightmoves$10 (18-plus)10 p.m.Saturday, June 4412 MRKT Bassment www.Deathface.net


New Music ReviewsMUSIC

Kate BushDirector’s Cut(Fish People)

Derek BaileyMore 74(Incus)

“It left me com-pletely baffled,” wrote clarinetist Alex Ward, about his first exposure to the recordings of the late free-improv guitarist Derek Bai-ley. Ward’s notes are included in the

new CD More 74, which includes previously un-released recordings from same time Bailey’s 1974 album Lot 74 was recorded—which was the specific album that confused Ward. It is a totally under-standable reaction for those uninitiated with free improvisation—that is, improvising purposefully with no genre in mind. It can provoke anything from mild discomfort, furrowed brows and shrugs to more severe, ugly reactions. A glance at You-Tube videos of Bailey reveal user comments such as “Unlistenable” to “Learn how to play a f---ing song, grampa!”

The elements of popular music from which most listeners get enjoyment—melody, rhythmic repetition, catchiness—are conspicuously miss-ing from Bailey’s solo work. Ostensibly, it seems impenetrable and maddeningly difficult. Bailey has a different aim that might not be apparent, and Ward points out that Bailey is less concerned with the arrangement of specific pitches than with tim-bres, where the timbre is the quality of a note that helps give it character. As demonstrated on More 74, Bailey is a master of controlling timbre on the guitar, using harmonics, string-muffling, ghostly gliding, and behind-the-bridge plucks as part of his sound palette.

Most of More 74 features Bailey on electric gui-tar, using two volume pedals to provide a stereo ef-fect and the ability to acutely shape the attack and dissolve of his notes. Two probable early versions of the lengthy track “Lot 74” and likely the first version of “In Joke” are included, and the album is punctuated with some odd moments, such as the interrupting ring of a phone and Bailey’s mid-song response of “Wrong number!” to the caller. More 74 also features documentation of Bailey’s “19-string (approx)” acoustic guitar, which has extra strings and wires attached, akin to prepared-piano-esque alterations, marking a turn that he later abandoned, to focus on technique rather than such methods.

Without repetition, Bailey’s music demands concentration, and it’s like the aural equivalent of abstract impressionism; indeed, there is a peculiar type of enjoyment that can be obtained from the bumpy, unpredictable flow of notes, and Bailey has the remarkable ability to sustain his outpour-ings with a controlled disorder, which is not simply a random jumble.

Film is rife with various types of revisionism, be it historical (the fabricated Odessa Steps massacre sequence in The Battleship Potem-kin) or moral

(George Lucas’s “Greedo shot first” Star Wars nonsense), and the title of the latest album from the singular, gifted artist Kate Bush, Director’s Cut, is an acknowledgement of her own kind of revisionism. The album entirely consists of new versions of songs first heard on her 1989 album The Sensual World and The Red Shoes from 1993, and this type of move is rare for her, with few precedents; notably, in 1986, she re-recorded her early hit song “Wuthering Heights” with a more mature-sounding voice.

One key impetus for Director’s Cut was finally being granted permission from James Joyce’s estate to use excerpts from Ulysses; this had previously been denied for her song “The Sensu-al World”—which used adapted lines from Molly Bloom’s carnally charged, free-flowing solilo-quy. Now renamed “Flower of the Mountain,” the new version, although somewhat interesting to hear, makes it clear that Bush got it right the first time, having created her own compelling vocal rhythm and cadences of “Mmm, yes.”

All of the lead vocals and drums on Director’s Cut have been re-recorded while some tracks were retained from the original versions, and for those familiar with Bush’s work, it may be a puz-zling mix. Certain numbers simply didn’t need tinkering, such as “The Red Shoes” and “Never Be Mine,” while other less remarkable songs from Bush’s catalog, like “Song of Solomon” and “Top of the City,” aren’t elevated further in their new incarnations. The oddest entry is “Rubber-band Girl,” which is given a lukewarm earthy circa-1970 rock-combo treatment with bluesy harmonica. It’s perhaps telling that two of the three songs that were completely re-done are the highlights of the album—“Moments of Plea-sure” is pensive and sentimental with a stripped-down piano arrangement, and “This Woman’s Work” has ambient leanings and packs an emo-tional wallop. However, for the most part, al-though Director’s Cut isn’t unlistenable or bad, it just seems unnecessary, particularly for a for-ward-thinking artist like Bush who never seems to be short on ideas.


ThursdayBen Friberg Trio7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253.Close Your Eyes, Hundredth, Amity, Axiom7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.comDo Ya Hear We Punk Fest7:30 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemiaBlues Jam with Rick Rushing7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comSummer Hullender8 p.m. Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr. Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.comFried Chicken Trio8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5005. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Jimmy Harris8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Brian “Crunk Bones” Jones9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). www.facebook.com/theofficechattJill Andrews with Rayland Baxter9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

FridayJohnny Cash Tribute Band5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.www.choochoo.comDo Ya Hear We Punk Fest5 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Jimmy Harris6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.comWordfest - An Evening of Storytelling, Poetry, & Music6:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.comBen Friberg6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 East 11th Street. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.comBekka Bramlett w/ Sweet & Lowdown7 p.m. Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. www.nightfallchattanooga.comBetween Two Seas Farewell Show7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.comMost Important Band Ever8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com

Dana Rogers8 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.comMichael Allen9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). www.facebook.com/theofficechattStevie Monce9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.'www.myspace.com/jimstrikerSweet & Lowdown9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comThe Micks9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.comGirlz Girlz Girlz10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.comDavey Smith & Tim Starnes10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

SaturdayEric Nassau10 a.m. Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0698. New Binkley BrothersNoon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, GA. www.seerockcity.comJohnny Cash Tribute Band5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.www.choochoo.com

Jimmy Harris6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Do Ya Hear We Punk Fest7 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Café, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224.Lon Eldridge CD Release Party7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.comScott Warren and the Booze Mountaineers8 p.m. Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr. Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.comDanger Kitty8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.comDana and Susan Robinson8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960.

Jill Andrews with Rayland BaxterAndrews (formerly of everybodyfields) returns with her new band.$159 p.m.Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St.(423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Do Ya Hear We! Festival

Line-up features Bastard Kind, Very Very Sneaky,

Flies Around It, Sunshine SS, Aye Nako, Ghettobird, Shotwell, Honky Horn and

Bad Mouth, Zippers to Nowhere

$75 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.(423) 266-1400.

myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Concert Calendar MUSIC

THURSDAY FRIDAY


Huskey Burnette8 p.m. Snookers, 12130 Dayton Pk, Soddy Daisy, TN. (423) 451-7636.Dana Rogers8 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Foundation Band8 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898.Kathie Baillie8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.orgRyan Oyer9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). www.facebook.com/theofficechatt Funktastic 59 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. The Most Important Band in the World9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. 423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstrikerThe Micks9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com

Deathface at Nightmoves10 p.m. 412 MRKT, 412 Market St. www.deathface.netAllgood Music Company: Reunion Tour with Ridge Farm10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.comRoger Alan Wade10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.comMoonlight Bride, Constellations, Young Orchids10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

SundayNew Binkley BrothersNoon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mountain, GA. www.seerockcity.comHudson K12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket.comNate Currin2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. Jim Scott6 p.m. The Chattanooga Folk School, Unitarian Universalist Church, 3224 Navajo Dr. (423) 892-6237.Irish Music Session6:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.comDo Ya Hear We Punk Fest7 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Café, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224.

BJ Thomas and Billy Joe Royal7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 899-4990.Dark Horse Ten8 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Parkway. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com

MondayOld Time Jam Session7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.comBig Band Nite8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

TuesdayKieran Kane, David Francey & Lucas Kane7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.orgOpen Mic with Mike McDade8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.comKeep on Moving8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

WednesdayJimmy Harris6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Ben Friberg Trio7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com

Charley Yates7 p.m. Ari’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lake Resort Terrace, (423) 877-7068. www.chattanoogahasfun.comOpen Mic Night8 p.m. Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr. Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.comPrime Cut Trio8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.comThe Velvet Hand and Shutter9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Parkway. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.comJordan Hallquist with Ryan Oyer9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.comDJ ScubaSteve hosts Jenntastic Wednesdays - Open Mic/Karaoke/Poetry/Comedy/Local Music9 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695. www.holidaybowlbrainerd.com

Concert Calendar MUSIC

Moonlight Bride, Constellations, Young OrchidsThree great bands, one great night.$710 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Do Ya Hear We! Festival

Final day features 40-oz Folklore, Knifey Spoony,

Twat Sauce, Alligator, Street Legal, Rag Rage, RVIVR, Hidden Spots,

Shellshag.$7

6 p.m.Sluggo’s North,

501 Cherokee Blvd.(423) 752-5224.

SATURDAY SUNDAY


Great comedies don’t need sequels. The Big Lebowski 2: Electric Boogaloo would be terrible. I don’t need to know what the Dude is up to know, or see what Walter has made of himself in a post 9/11 world. Those characters existed pre-cisely when they needed to, told the story they needed to tell, and did so in an exceptionally funny way. There are countless sequels to great comedies that should never have been made. They all fail to recapture the magic of that first film. That magic exists in the chemistry of the film itself. Much like religious ritual, those that make sequels are trying to recreate an experience that is indescribable and impossibly elusive.

The key to a good sequel (if there is one) is have a con-tinuing storyline, one that extends beyond the typical two to two-and-a-half hour running time of a film. The “Lord of the Rings” and “Harry Potter” movies are good examples of this. Even though I’m tired of Harry and his wizarding friends, I can’t argue that they’re pretty good films. Better yet, if the story takes place in a relatively short period of time, film each chapter simultaneously in order to keep a similar tone throughout.

Sure, there are franchises that will break these rules and remain decent—“Indiana Jones” springs to mind—but gen-erally speaking, a long, consistent, overarching story will do the trick. The Hangover Part II is, by this measure, a terrible sequel. The Hangover ended exactly where it needed to end. It was perfect in its existence. “Part II” does nothing, adds nothing, and delivers nothing. Its existence is an example of everything that’s wrong with Hollywood.

The Hangover Part II is the exact same movie as Part I. The only difference is that the filmmakers changed locations and added some gratuitous filth. This time, Stu is getting married to a Thai girl in Thai-land. He invites his friends from the previous film, grudgingly includ-ing the manchild Alan (Zack Galafi-nakis) and his fiancée’s brother Teddy. After a pre-wedding bonfire on the beach, where the group shares one beer, they wake up in Bangkok with Teddy missing, a severed finger, and a monkey. They then retrace their steps while looking for their lost party member. There isn’t much else to say about

the plot or the film itself. It’s funny enough, in the same way that watching the first film for the second time at home might be, but there is a definite lack of heart.

The element of surprise is gone. We know what comes next, even if the details are slightly different. Given that surprise is such a critical element of humor, the comedy falls flat and the audience loses interest. I think that the film-

makers knew this. They didn’t make The Hangover Part II be-cause they felt there was more to the story. They made it to capitalize on the unexpected success of a great comedy. In order to compete with losing any semblance of an unforeseen consequence, the film has to resort to excessive transgender nudity and monkeys. Monkeys and ladyboys are universally funny, right?

The tragedy of this is that I feel that one of the greatest

comic actors I’ve seen in a long time has worn out his welcome. Zack Galifinakis is one of my favorite stand-up comedians. The man is simply fun-ny. But the more you repeat a joke or a style, the less funny it becomes. His characters in major comedies for the past few years are essentially the same: awkward,

petulant men stuck perpetually in a twisted childish fantasy-land. These characters are all equally funny, but at a certain point the joke wears thin. Galifinakis proved in It’s Kind of a Funny Story that he has range. Formula pays more. I can’t fault him, but I hope that he will branch out.

I can’t say that I hated The Hangover Part II. It was what I expected. What bothers me is that I’ve come to expect so little from my movie-going experiences. The films I want to see are released at film festivals, but never widely. Of course I’ll be able to see them eventually, on DVD, but I love going to the movie theater. I like sitting in dark screening rooms, ex-periencing movies with a receptive audience. My living room isn’t that nice. When I was younger, the movies were the best part of summer. I want to feel that excitement again. Sequels just don’t do it.

Film FeatureSCREEN

Hungover With SequelsBy John DeVore, Pulse Film Critic

“‘Part II’ does nothing, adds nothing, and delivers nothing. Its existence is an example of everything that’s wrong with Hollywood.”

The Hangover Part IIDirected by Todd PhillipsStarring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zack GalifinakisRated RRunning time: 1 hour, 42 minutes


Send Yourself To The Big HouseRiley's Spirits WithinWINE & SPIRITS

By Joshua Hurley, Riley's Wine & Spirits

This week, Riley’s Wine and Spirits is send-ing you to the Big House. Yeah, you know, the slammer, the clink. Why, you ask? Well, re-habilitation, of course. Hopefully the isolation and solace will free you from your old cork-sniffing snobbishness. This week’s Great Buy aims to cure you of that centuries-old habit. Great Buys are part of this weekly column in which Riley’s Wine and Spirits picks something special from the area’s favorite selection of adult beverages from around the world, then shares it with Chattanooga’s much-appreciat-ed readership of The Pulse. This week’s selec-tion is Big House Wines’ 3-liter eco-friendly wine cast.

The Big House Winery is located in Soledad, California, a small town in Monterey County and a stone’s throw away from the infamous Soledad Correctional Facility. This certainly helps to explain the winery’s pre-occupation with the prison themes found on its labels and its planned escape and liberation from every-day ball-and-chain wine choices. Big House Wines offer a truly unique New World wine-making style that utilizes Mediterranean-type grape varietals such as syrah, grenache, petit verdot, viognier, mourvadre, malbec and prim-otivo; all of which grow exceptionally well in California’s climate.

Along with Big House Winery’s innova-tive winemaking techniques is its trail-blazing, trend-setting approach to packaging. Nearly ten years ago Big House Wines introduced the screw cap, discarding the traditional cork clo-sure, much to many cork-sniffing wine snobs’ displeasure. Big House Wines just saw things a little differently, as corks eventually dry up and allow air to pass through into the wine. This is known as oxidation and spells total ruin for the victimized wine. With a screw top, your wine is 100 percent guaranteed fresh—and you’ll never need a corkscrew (and not have one) again.

Big House Wines are available in 3-liter size wine casks! Yes, wine snobs beware, eco-friendly greens rejoice—the pros far outnum-ber the cons. Wine in a box stays fresh for six weeks. The package is 100 percent biode-gradable. It’s socially sound—3 liters of wine is perfect for two to four people. Wow! What a deal! Three liters for the price of two 750mL glass bottles. Are you still not convinced? Maybe you should follow the twelve steps of

wine snob rehabilitation:1. Admit that you have no idea what you’re

talking about when it comes to wine.2. Believe that someone who knows more

about wine can help you restore your sanity.3. Make a decision to turn your “cork-sniff-

ing” life over to that person.4. Admit to everyone that sniffing bark in-

stead of wine was a stupid idea from the get go.

5. Promise to change and leave the cork be-hind.

6. Realize how silly it sounds when the cork industry claims that if we stop using corks cer-tain wildlife will disappear.

7. Start sniffing the original source of the aroma—the wine, not the cork.

8. Remember and feel for all of those peo-ple who laughed at you during your pompous cork-sniffing ceremony.

9. Try to always just reach for the glass, not the cork.

10. Spend quality time with your wine, not the cork.

11. Tell everyone your new discovery. Spread the news.

12. In case of relapse, repeat the steps.Big House Red 3-liter box: Expect a fruit

bomb with an explosion of berries. It starts with aromas of raspberries and blackberries and a little hint of spice and continues on the palate with flavors of cranberries, roses and rhubarb. The aftertaste or finish is sweet with a pleasing vanilla and dark cherry taste that’s simply unforgettable.

Big House White 3-liter box: This one is as fresh as springtime, with aromas of white flow-ers and lychee fruit that follow along with fla-vors of tropical fruits, dried apricot and white peaches and end with a zingy citrus aftertaste.

Unchained Naked Chardonnay 3-liter box: The Big House never wanted elitist-style va-rietals like chardonnay or cabernet sauvignon or the attitude that followed them. So they have stripped this chardonnay of its egotism by fermenting it in steel tanks and neutral oak barrels. This preserves the chardonnay’s true fruit characteristics of green apples, lemon, melon and pineapple, while saying goodbye to its usual pompous flavors of butter, cream, nuts and smoke.

Usual Suspect Cabernet Sauvignon 3-liter box: A cool fermented cab! A cab aged in neutral oak! An added touch of grenache to reach its fruit potential. Different indeed. A berry bursting cab, a true rebel.

Cardinal Zin Beastly Old Vines 3-liter box: So good it’s not a crime, it’s a sin (or zin, if you please). It’s easy to see (or taste) just why zin-fandel is the Big House’s favorite wine grape with its delicious, flavorful, berry structure and carefully balanced earth tones. They are grown on old vines (16-plus years old), which generally yield fewer grapes, but more flavor-ful ones. Cardinal Zinfandel contains intense flavors of blackberry with soft undertones of creamy oak, vanilla and dry herbs. The palate is full of fruit, but not heavy. This is one to worship.

The Birdman Pinot Grigio 3-liter box: A true Californian, far removed from his Italian brother, this pinot grigio contains all there is to love about California pinot grigio—flavorful, rich fruit. It has it all, but it’s still no punk, standing firm on its own ground while retain-ing flavors of grapefruit, honeydew, and melon, with a pleasing acidic finish.

Try the Big House 3-liter boxes at Riley’s for $18.31 plus tax, a $45 value!


We all love our stuff. Having what we need, and more importantly, what we don’t need is perhaps the true American dream. As the nation with enough disposable income to not only keep our country, but any foreign country willing to ship their goods to us, afloat, there’s nothing like our penchant for accumulating more crap than we’ll ever use. Ahhh, stuff!

Just as much as we love filling every square inch of our home’s storage spaces—and even off-site storage units—with jet skis, power tools, furniture, electronics and enough garments to clothe a small village, we also love to purge unwanted items from time to time. To make room for more new stuff, of course.

As one of the most charitable countries in the world, we are more than willing to help out a neighbor with the perfectly good stuff that’s lost its luster in our gluttonous minds. One reason why we may be so giving is that our lax tax laws enable just about anything we give away to be written so far off our personal ledgers that it’s a wonder anyone actually lines Uncle Sam’s pockets with greenbacks any more. Leave that to the upper one percent, right?

Personally, I don’t keep a lot of stuff on hand. Just what I need and actually use on a regular basis. In fact, my rule of thumb is that if I haven’t touched something—whether it’s a sweater or sofa—in a year’s time, it goes. But where it goes depends on what it is.

If it is something of value and/or potentially easy to ship, I first check its worthiness on eBay. This strange and often misunderstood online marketplace can be very profitable if you have the right goods. Over the years, I’ve figured out exactly what will and won’t sell on eBay.

Clothing is out, unless it’s name brand

outerwear or—believe it or not—used shoes. For some reason, there are millions of people willing to pay an average of $20 each for your worn-out Pumas. I don’t get it. Other items of potential profitability include designer furniture, cool knick-knacks, jewelry and portable electronics.

House furnishings, clothing and other day-to-day sundries are best exchanged for a tax-deductible receipt at Goodwill. From my experience it’s amazing what a tall kitchen garbage bag full of old sheets and towels can do for your annual income’s bottom, bottom line. Just ask any honest—I mean, good—accountant.

There’s nothing I enjoy more than filling up the truck bed with undesirables bound for Goodwill. In fact, recently I had the old truck strapped down with all kinds of yard sale leftovers headed for reuse by the less fortunate when

I was dropping off a young friend who was fortunate enough to be invited by the more fortunate for a day at the Chattanooga Golf & Country Club pool. However, the embarrassed look on her face when our Sanford & Son haul rumbled up to the pool entrance was definitely unfortunate.

Speaking of yard sales, they are truly a waste of time and can be embarrassing in their own right. “Just look at all the crap that used to be proudly displayed in that fine home? Wonder what’s still in there that’ll be out here next year? Geez.” Definitely not worth a day of finding and pricing stuff and then getting up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday—all for $60.

If unwanted items don’t fit within the above criteria for financial parlay, then there’s always the dump. A good trip to the dump is one of the most mind-cleansing activities one can perform from time to time. Whether it's old building materials or molded stuff once rotting in your basement, hauling a truckload of disgust to throw within a city-sanctioned waste removal container can be fun—as long as you have the right equipment, i.e.: work gloves. It’s amazing to me how anyone will pick up anything as long as there is a thin layer of leather between their bare hands and say, a dead rat.

The city dump definitely breeds a different breed of stuff collectors. The folks hanging around dumpsters aren’t there to help you unload. No, these people are there to see if they want what you don’t. If one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, then these pirates of procurement are just like the rest of us—in the market for the next best thing.

“From my experience, it’s amazing what a

tall kitchen garbage bag full of old sheets and towels can do for your annual income’s bottom, bottom line.”

One Man’s Trash, Another’s Treasure

Chuck Crowder

Life In The ‘NoogOPINION

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts.


Free Will AstrologyENTERTAINMENT

Solution To Last Week's Crossword

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the far northern reaches of Ilulissat, a town in Greenland, the sun sets for good on No-vember 29 every year and doesn’t rise again until January 13. Or at least that was the case until 2011. This year, to the shock of locals, sunlight broke over the horizon on Janu-ary 11—two days ahead of schedule. Though a few alarm-ists theorized that this disturbance in the age-old rhythm was due to a shift in the earth’s axis or rotation, scientists suggested that the cause was global warming: Melting ice has caused the horizon to sink. I expect something equally monumental to make an appearance in your world soon, Gemini. Can you handle an increased amount of light?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m not a big fan of the “No Pain, No Gain” school of thought. Personally, I have drummed up more marvels and wonders through the power of rowdy bliss than I have from hauling thousand-pound burdens across the wasteland. But I do recognize that in my own story as well as in others’, hardship can sometimes pro-voke inspiration. I think it may be one of those moments for you, Cancerian. Please accept this medicinal prod from the ancient Roman poet Horace: “Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents that in times of prosperity would have lain dormant.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his 1934 book Beyond the Mexi-can Bay, British author Aldous Huxley observed that “the natural rhythm of human life is routine punctuated by or-gies.” He was using the word “orgies” in its broadest sense -- not to refer to wild sex parties, but rather to cathartic eruptions of passion, uninhibited indulgence in revelry, and spirited rituals of relief and release. That’s the kind of orgy you’re due for, Leo. It’s high time to punctuate your rou-tine.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do,” wrote the essay-ist Walter Bagehot. Personally, I don’t think that’s the su-preme joy possible to a human being; but it definitely has a provocative appeal. May I recommend that you explore it in the coming weeks, Virgo? The astrological omens sug-gest you’re in an excellent position to succeed at an under-taking you’ve been told is unlikely or even impossible for you to accomplish.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When people unsubscribe from my newsletter, they’re asked to say why they’re leav-ing. In a recent note, a dissatisfied customer wrote, “Be-cause you are a crackhead who makes no sense. You sound like you write these horoscopes while you’re stoned on mushrooms.” For the record, I not only refrain from crack and magic mushrooms while crafting your oracles; I don’t partake of any intoxicants at any other time, either—not even beer or pot. I’m secretly a bit proud, however, that the irate ex-reader thinks my drug-free mind is so wild. In the coming week, Libra, I invite you to try an experiment inspired by this scenario: Without losing your mind, see if you can shed some of the habitual restrictions you allow to impinge on the free and creative play of your mind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The roots of big old trees are your power objects. I advise you to visualize them in your mind’s eye for a few minutes each day, maybe even go look at actual trees whose roots are showing above ground. Doing this will strengthen your resolve and increase your patience and help you find the deeper sources of nurturing you need. Another exercise that’s likely to energize you in just the right way is to picture yourself at age 77. I suggest you create a detailed vision of who you’ll be at that time. See yourself drinking a cup of tea as you gaze out over a verdant valley on a sunny afternoon in June. What are you wearing? What kind of tea is it? What birds do you see? What are your favorite memories of the last 30 years?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you’re a physicist or Wall Street broker, your assignment this week is to read

the poetry of Pablo Neruda (bit.ly/NerudaSongs). If you’re a kirtan-chanting yogini or the author of a New Age self-help newsletter, your task is to read up on the scientific method (bit.ly/ScienceMethod). If you’re white, be black, and vice versa. If you’re yellow, be violet, and if red, be green. If you’re a tight-fisted control freak, try being a laid-back connoisseur of the mellowest vibes imaginable—and vice versa. It’s Mix-It-Up Week, Sagittarius—a time to play with flipping and flopping your usual perspectives, roles, and angles.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Describing muckrak-ing journalist Peter Freyne, Senator Patrick Leahy said, “He knew the difference between healthy skepticism and hollow cynicism.” Mastering that distinction happens to be your next assignment, Capricorn. Can you distinguish between your tendency to make compulsive negative judg-ments and your skill at practicing thoughtful and compas-sionate discernment? My reading of the astrological omens suggests that you will have a successful week if you do. Not only that: The universe will conspire to bring you blessings you didn’t even realize you needed.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “There is time for work,” said fashion designer Coco Chanel, “and time for love. That leaves no other time.” I understand and sympathize with that perspective. But I’m going to beg you to make an exception to it in the coming weeks, Aquarius. In ad-dition to getting a healthy quota of work and love, please do your best to carve out a few hours specifically devoted to engaging in unadulterated, unapologetic, unbridled play —the kind of flat-out, free-form, full-tilt fun and games that has the effect of permanently increasing your levels of liberation.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Although I myself have an intimate ongoing relationship with the Divine Wow, it’s perfectly fine with me if other people don’t. Some of my best friends are atheists and agnostics. But I must admit that I laughed derisively when I heard that the supposed genius named Stephen Hawking declared, with the fanati-cal certainty of a religious fundamentalist, that heaven does not exist. How unscientific of him! The intellectually hon-est perspective is, of course, that there’s no way to know for sure about that possibility. I bring this up, Pisces, as an example of what not to do. It’s particularly important right now that you not be blinded by your theories about the way things work. If you put the emphasis on your raw ex-perience rather than your preconceived biases, you will be blessed with as much beauty and truth as you can handle.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The film The Men Who Stare at Goats tells the story of the U.S. army’s efforts to har-ness psychic powers for military purposes. It’s not entirely a work of the imagination. In fact, there’s substantial evi-dence that such a program actually existed. As the movie begins, a caption on the screen informs viewers that “More of this is true than you would believe.” I suspect there’ll be a comparable situation unfolding in your life in the coming weeks, Aries. As you experience a rather unusual departure from your regularly scheduled reality, fact and fiction may be deeply intertwined. Will you be able to tell them apart?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I dreamed you were a mem-ber of an indigenous tribe in what Westerners call New Guinea. You had recently begun to show unusual behav-ior that suggested you were developing enhanced cogni-tive abilities. You’d solved one of the tribe’s long-standing problems, were spontaneously spouting improvised poetry, and had been spotted outside late at night having animated conversations with the stars. Some of your friends and relatives were now referring to you by a new name that in your native tongue meant “the one who dances naked with the deities.” How would you interpret my dream, Taurus? I think it suggests you could be on the verge of growing an intriguing new capacity or two.


Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0522.

Jonesin' Crossword — "Now In 3-D!"ENTERTAINMENT

Across1 Did the crawl, say5 Rocky peak9 Slightly better than average14 Frat party wear15 Indie rock band ___ Kiley16 University of Maine city17 Oklahoma city18 “Apache (Jump ___)” (Sugar Hill Gang hit)19 Acronym used to pro-test environmental hazards nearby20 1997 Jennifer Jason Leigh adaptation of a Henry James novel--refilmed in 3-D?23 Author of one of the Gospels24 Village Voice theater awards25 Speaker in Cooper-stown27 Mo. with the 100th day of the year28 1501, in old Europe31 International treaty34 “___ ‘70s Show”

36 Org. headquartered in New York City38 1995 Chris O’Donnell/Minnie Driver romance--refilmed in 3-D?41 System with joysticks and paddles42 Reedy instrument43 Go orange?44 Lithuania, once: abbr.45 Director’s frantic cry47 Boston Marathon, e.g.49 Full of angst51 Coca-Cola brand of bottled water55 With “The,” 1978 horror mystery with John Huston--refilmed in 3-D?58 ___ Lama59 She-bears, in Seville60 “Aqualung” band Jethro ___61 Swelter62 “ER” star Noah63 Spot in the ocean64 Foul odor65 Thomas who drew Santa Claus66 Anjou, e.g.

Down1 Filling dishes2 Dominated in, as with a sport3 Gray Panthers fight it4 Character whose tag read “10/6”, with “The”5 Walter with a history of anchoring6 Decoding item7 Samuel on the Supreme Court8 Fully support, like a good friend9 Some Baroque works10 Toyota hybrid11 Bausch’s partner12 Cause to cease to exist, in olden times13 Meat-free substitute21 Oddly-sized, like cloth-ing: abbr.22 Little bite26 Dismisses, as an idea28 Wine list companion29 Clothes30 Part of MIT31 “The More You Know” spots, e.g.32 Units for lease, for

short33 Burn on the outside35 Wright-Patterson or Andrews: abbr.37 “Listen up, ‘cause this could be useful...”39 Alternative for those with dairy allergies40 Words that come before “go”46 Palindromic prime minister of Burma48 Prize “The Price Is Right” contestants freak out about49 “Hey, Soul Sister” band50 Class that requires little effort to pass52 Provide the laughs53 Wafer brand that goes with banana pudding54 Do-nothing55 “Why you little...” target, often56 “The Time Machine” race57 Buddies58 Aston Martin high-performance model


Dear Mexican, I’m new to the San Antonio area and

am enjoying exploring the many wonderful aspects of its history and culture. One thing has become incredibly bothersome to me, though: the plight of pet overpopulation. With so many resources that are available for spay/neuter assistance, I’m not certain as to why this continues to be a problem. I have been told that Hispanic men fear that the surgical procedure of neutering is an emasculating process. It is not. Perhaps one way of explaining this is if my husband found that he had testicular cancer and the only way for him to survive was to remove his testicles, he would have this done to save his life, and he would still be very much a man. Pardon me being crude, but balls do NOT define a man or a man’s dog. Spaying/neutering saves lives and makes for a healthier pet. — On Behalf of Those Without a Voice

Dear Gabacha,I completely agree, and it’s very appropriate you

write from San Antonio, formerly the dog- and cat-euthanizing capital of the United States, according to a 2006 San Antonio Express-News story. A 2010 Express-News story also offers an explanation for Mexicans’ reticence to tinker with their pets’ private parts, courtesy of America’s favorite Mexican (and former illegal immigrant), César Millán. “Being a Latino myself, I know that many times we learn at an early age that neutering or spaying a dog changes their state of mind,’ the Dog Whisperer told the Express-News while doing promotion for spay/

neutering awareness among local Mexis. “All my pack is spayed or neutered, and it doesn’t change anything. It actually enhances their ability to be social with other dogs. It decreases frustration. Marking (urinating to claim territory), which is a big

problem a lot of time for people, goes out of the behavior for dogs. So it’s a lot of great things I want to share.” The Mexican will only add it’s not a machismo thing, that pet overpopulation is common in all poor communities, and that the only social pathology Mexicans suffer from that comes directly from our culture and not other factors (class, geography, religion, etc.) is our irrational devotion to our perpetually underachieving Mexican soccer team.

Dear Mexican,Why did practically everybody’s Mexican great-

grandfather ride with Pancho Villa? And also knows where he buried his treasure? — My Abuelito Rode with Zapata, Too

Dear Wab,Same reason some gabachos say their great-

great grandmother was a Cherokee princess, and all Southerners claim their Confederate ancestors fought for state rights (help me with the proper term to describe this phenomenon besides “delusional,” historiadores). People love to identify with the romantic underdog, even if it stretches all logic of their own family tree. No Mexican would ever dare admit that their ancestors were hacendados—admitting your abuelitos opposed Villa and Zapata and left Mexico because they were members of the upper class is one of the douche-iest things a Mexican can do, and is as rare as a Mexican neighborhood without cars parked on the lawn.

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK: All you Mexis who, this week, will become the first in your family to graduate from high school, receive your bachelor’s degree, or earn a master’s or doctorate—congratulations! Ustedes are intellectual chinga tu madres to the Know Nothings who say education doesn’t matter to Mexicans. All this said, there ain’t enough of us achieving our accomplishments, so remember to tutor, mentor, and give back to your community—otherwise, our Reconquista is for naught.

Gustavo Arellano

Grandpa Rode With Pancho Villa (and Other Tales)Ask A MexicanOPINION

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at www.youtube.com/askamexicano!

“People love to identify with the romantic underdog, even if it stretches all logic of

their own family tree.”

The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 22

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