The God Idea

8/13/2019 The God Idea

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THE GOD IDEA



Cast of Characters

DAVID: Mid-50's. Atheist. Or at least,infatuated with the idea and readyto come out of the closet and sendit out into the world. Life hastaken its toll and faith has becomea hard concept to swallow.

JONATHAN: Mid-40's. A man of reason and greatcharm. Can sell you anything. Hasnot thought about God except whenit intersects his common ground andpragmatism. And it is just about

to happen.



--1

Scene

(A Public Park.)

Time

(Present time.)



ACT I

SCENE 1

SETTING: A PUBLIC PARK. As the audienceenters, the curtain is up. The stagis bare, except for BOX, which

serves as an impromptu podium.

AT RISE: As the house lights go down, DAVID,in a rumpled sweater and jeansnotices the podium. Unshaven andunkempt, he walks up to it, looksaround, and begins his diatribe toan imaginary audience of hundreds.

DAVIDDear friends. Lax Agnostics. Noncommital nonbelievers. Vaguedeists. The time has come! Time to declare our position, tohelp exorcise this debilitating curse that has plagued mankind

from the beginning of time!

(JONATHAN crosses upstage,wearing slacks and a nicedress shirt with a jacket,minding his own business,then stops to listen.)

DAVIDWe, who would be embarrassed to defend absurdities such as theVirgin birth, resurrection, and flying hot-dogs! It is time tocome out of the closet, you fence-sitters, and put an end to thisfarce once and for all -- God is dead! God has never existed and

never will. There is no God!

(Jonathan pockets his cellphone and starts clapping,slowly at first, thenvigorously.)

JONATHANBravo.

(David turns and noticeshim.)

DAVIDOh, thank you.

JONATHANIt was powerful. I like the chest resonance. You were alsogetting some of those head vibrations, the higher harmonic tones.Fabulous. Certainly got my attention. Could you please try thatlast word once again? God?



I-1-3

(David checks this guy out.Is he serious? He seemsnice and sincere enough.David turns to face thepublic again.)

DAVID

God!

JONATHANA little more open on the 'O', if you will, please.

DAVID(Focused)

God!

JONATHANGreat. Once more, get those head vibrations, the entire bodyinvolved.

DAVIDGOD!

JONATHANYou can stop now. I don't think HE is coming.

(David steps out of thepodium, menacing.)

DAVIDAre you pulling my leg?

(Jonathan immediately

produces a business cardand hands it to him.)

JONATHANAbsolutely not. I'm sorry. Jonathan Reese.

DAVID(examining card)

Who are you, some kind of personal trainer?

JONATHAN(laughs)

No, no. But I do recognize a good idea when I see one.

(David studies this guy fora second, attempts to returnthe card.)

DAVIDListen, buddy, I don't have any money. The recession took itall, can't you see?

(MORE)



I-1-4

DAVID (CONT'D)Those damn bastards on Wall Street fucked up this country prettygood. So, you can take your business elsewhere.

JONATHANFor you, I'll go pro bono. I'm here to help you.

DAVIDHelp me, how?

JONATHAN(hushed)

Take you to the next level. Don't get me wrong, you're doinggreat. We need to expand. Go pro. Make this idea so irresistibthat it would be a sin not to buy into it.

DAVIDWho are you, exactly?

JONATHAN

Have you heard of Pop cola?

DAVIDSure. Tastes like shit. Bad for your health. Insulin dischargeMay cause cancer--

JONATHAN--sells like hotcakes.

(David realizes something.)

DAVIDThat was you?

JONATHAN(nods modestly)

Miracle man, that's me. No pun intended. Also Frickas, LooneyBettys, the doll, and Prian Water--all me. I was the marketingmind behind those launches. I can sell anything and everythingabove and beyond this earth.

DAVID(intrigued)

So, you, uh, think it's a good idea?

JONATHANOh yeah. Highly contagious. Free. You don't need an office,land line, employees, or even a cell phone.

(mentioning the box on stage)A simple box will do. But we need to make it irresistible. Soirresistible that a person would have to be a fool not to buyinto it.

DAVIDOh?



I-1-5

(Jonathan pulls out a smallnotepad and a pencil.)

JONATHANListen to me, because I have been doing this for a living as farback as I can remember. Let's get back to basics here, alright?Number one, what are you trying to sell me?

DAVIDThere is no God.

JONATHAN(Making notes)

Great. And how much?

DAVIDFree.

JONATHANPerfect. What are the benefits?

(Jonathan stops, facingDavid, pencil poised.David stops, taken bysurprise.)

DAVIDBenefits?

JONATHANBenefits, you know. How would I be a better person after I boughthe idea? Try to create a mental picture in the mind of thesubject, as if he or she were already there, and how would his or

her life be so much better. For example, if I buy a Mercedes, Iam not buying a means of transportation. I am buying into alifestyle, safety, reliability, a certain social status. So if Ibuy into your idea, how would that make me better?

DAVIDI see, uh...

JONATHANYes?

DAVID

It... enfeebles intelligence!

JONATHAN--greater intellect.

DAVIDIt impedes self-understanding! Checks moral and intellectualprogress at the door!



I-1-6

JONATHANIncreased consciousness. Moral development.

DAVIDReligion is irrational, violent, intolerant, allied to racism andtribalism and bigotry!

JONATHANGreat! Go on, man. You're on a roll.

DAVIDNo more wars, no more fatwas, no more Jihad!

JONATHANPeace and prosperity.

DAVIDIt is contemptuous of women and coercive toward children. It isinvested in ignorance, against science and free inquiry, subsistilargely on fears and lies!

JONATHANNo Miracles!

DAVIDRight. No miracles.

JONATHANBy miracles, do you mean, uh--

DAVID--supernatural. Everything except in the phenomena that we don'tyet understand. No soul that outlasts the body!

JONATHANNo... Soul. Got it. I think I'm going to have a hard time withthat one, but I can manage.

DAVIDWe're just carbon atoms, and molecules, meandering about in achaotic universe with no sense of purpose.

JONATHANCarbons with no purpose. One hundred billion galaxies, with onehundred billion stars each, in the visible universe alone.

(beat)Man, that's more than all the grains of sand on planet earth.

DAVIDWhat's that?

JONATHANThe competition is going to question your product and attack itfrom every angle. It is my job to make sure we're ready.

(MORE)



I-1-7

JONATHAN (CONT'D)So, one hundred billion galaxies, with one hundred billion starseach, in the visible universe alone. How would you explain that?

DAVIDAll dumb matter. Pick up a rock, talk to it. Will it respond?

JONATHANGreat. No. Neither will my cat, but that's another story.(beat)

We need a slogan.

DAVID(promptly)

I got one!

JONATHANGo ahead.

DAVID

God is like rape.

(Jonathan stops taking notes.Just stands there, mouthagape)

JONATHANMan, I'm glad you don't work in advertising. Don't worry, I'llcome up with something.

(beat)Why don't we take it from the top?

(David clears his throat,

climbs the box.)

(Jonathan gives the 'goahead')

DAVIDDear friends, closet atheists!--

JONATHAN(interrupting)

-- Start with the benefits. Something like 'would you like tolive in a peaceful world, experience freedom like you never thoug

possible...'

DAVIDAh, ok.

(clears throat)Dear nonbelievers!

JONATHAN-- no, no. Too negative. Nonbelievers. Give us something tohope for, a vision of a better future.



I-1-8

(David looks fretted, butaccepts it as being partof development.)

(He looks ahead, is aboutto open his mouth, when...)

JONATHANDid you know that sixty billion neutrinos went through ourthumbnails every second we stood here talking?

DAVIDCome again?

JONATHANNeutrinos. Formed by nuclear reaction. Almost massless, theytravel the vast reaches of the universe, pass through our bodies,into the planet Earth, and come out at the other side, unscathed.

DAVID

So what's that got to do with anything?

JONATHANNot to mention a supernova explosion -- 100 billion times brightethan the sun. Can you fathom that? Did you know that 30 millionsupernovae happen every year? And listen to this: four billionyears ago, an object the size of planet Mars collided with theEarth, and the ensuing debris coalesced into the moon. The onlymoon in the solar system that perfectly eclipses the sun. I don'even want to go into pulsars and quasars and gamma ray bursts.I'll just cut to the chase.

(he's already pocketing hisnotepad and pencil.)

There's a problem with your idea.

DAVID(annoyed at this point)

What's that?

JONATHANCarbon.

DAVIDCarbon?

JONATHANYeah, carbon. The peculiar process of stellar alchemy by whichelemental carbon came to existence is so delicate and improbablethat the chances of finding such an atom through the forces ofnature alone would be minuscule. The only logical conclusionwould be that a superintellect must have meddled with chemistry,physics, and biology to make it even possible.

DAVIDThere's a probability.



I-1-9

JONATHANMinuscule. Besides, the laws of science display an order divine.And human consciousness is too remarkable to have evolved; ourmoral sense defies the selfish imperatives of nature. Not tomention metaphysical realization. Forget it.

(Jonathan starts leaving.)

DAVIDHey, come back here! I hired you!

JONATHANNo, you did not. I volunteered.

(David reaches for hiswallet.)

DAVIDOk, here's your money. How much do you want?

JONATHANI don't work for money alone. Besides, I don't think you believein miracles. It would be impossible to sell an idea to peoplewhom you obviously despise.

DAVIDYou entered a verbal agreement! You're liable!

JONATHANI don't recall. Besides, your idea is not original. We may runinto copyright issues. Sorry.

(David blocks his way,

menacing.)

DAVIDStep back, man. You'll stay here and work with me. Whether youlike it or not.

JONATHANSo, you want to fight now? How interesting, your own personalJihad.

DAVIDThat's right, Mr. Miracle man, I can sell anything. You're nothi

but a hack!

JONATHANAnd you're nothing but an idea stealer! A two-bit plagiarist!

(David tackles Jonathan.They roll on the floor,fight, a clumsy version ofjujitsu.)



I-1-10

DAVIDLoser!

JONATHANThief!

DAVID

Fake!

JONATHANYou can never disprove the existence of God by empirical meansalone!

DAVIDThe onus is on the believer! If I say I believe in the tooth-fairy, I have to prove it!

JONATHANYou don't believe your own ideas! When did you find it!?

DAVIDGo to hell!

JONATHANIdea stealer! When did you find it!?

DAVIDPiss off!

(Jonathan finally pins himto the ground, in a stranglehold.)

JONATHANWhen DID YOU FIND THE FREAKIN' IDEA!!???

DAVID(giving in)

FEBRUARY TWENTY-SEVEN, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN!

(Jonathan lets go. Theyboth sit on the ground,exhausted.)

(David brings his hand to

is face, trying to containthe surge of painfulmemories.)

DAVIDIt was on February 27, 2007, by the hands of a drunken truckdelivery driver. It was a rainy night. I had a late meeting.My wife and daughter were returning from my niece's birthday.

(MORE)



I-1-11

DAVID (CONT'D)The truck slammed into the sedan so hard it almost split it intwo. The paramedics said it was instant. The did not have achance to know what happened. They were not just my daughter andmy wife; they were my life. They were the reason behind everythiI ever did. My work, my company, every book I ever read; everystep I ever took; every single action led me to them. He had no

right. HE HAD NO RIGHT!

(David holds to his knees,seated, covers his face,unable to continue.)

JONATHANDo you love them?

DAVIDEvery single day of my life.

JONATHAN

There He is.

(Beat. Jonathan stands up.)

DAVIDHow did you know?

JONATHANLike you, I stole that idea too. It was a long time ago. Sorry,I can't help.

(Jonathan exits.)

(David sits alone, staringinto the void. Just himand the impromptu podium.)

(He stands. Starts to leave,looks at the podium. Takesa couple of steps towardit. Stares at it for abeat.)

(He looks out into theaudience and steps up.)

JONATHANDear friends, agnostics, nonbelievers, vague deists. The timehas come! Time for a revolution. Let us reach out to each otherto our friends, our neighbors, our brothers and sisters. Let usembrace the mystery, God, creator of the universe and of allthings, the supreme mind to which we shall all return...

(as the lights start to dim)...the alpha and the omega.



I-1-12

(BLACKOUT.)

The God Idea

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