The Garden Party, Act I, Scene 2

8/8/2019 The Garden Party, Act I, Scene 2

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THE GARDEN PARTYCLERK: Or the programme of humorous stories from the

liquidation practice of Section 5 which have been writtendown and will be narrated by the Head of Section 5 -

SECRETARY: And in which you yourself can participate, proviyou have sent the exact text of your story together with a.).. health certificate and a permit from the Head of your Sec .to the Secretariat of Humour and to the Ideological: ' "v J Regulation Commission at die latest two mon s ore thedate of s gar en party.

CLERK: Provided you can obtain a permit from the Organizing! Committee, you may even dance - i.e. in the area of the, Dance Floor A - between 11.30 and 12p.m. Large DanceFloor A is reserved until 11.30 p.m. for the Liquidation

I Method Section, and between 12and 12.45 a.m. for thePeople's Commission and the Delimitation SubcommissionSECRETARY: If you are interested in making use of Aids to

Amusement, such as paper hats, gay papier-mache noses,etc., you may pick them up via the Head of your Section inthe Sectional Warehouse and then you may go and amuseyourself with them within the area of Small Dance Floor C.

CLERK: Of course you'll have to respect the queue which hasforming outside the Small Dance Floor C since earlyafternoon and which, I'm sorry to say, is inevitable in viewthe relatively large interest in Self-Entertainment with Aidsto Amusement, and the limited accommodation within thespace of Small Dance Floor C .. . . r - - -

SECRET ARY: !!!e sooner you start ueuing!l the sooner you get in.HUGO: Excuse me, but Small Dance oor IS c early smaller

than the Large Dance Floor A. Why not move Self-Entertainment with Aids to Amusement to large DanceFloor A and the dance of Sections to the Small Dance FloorC? Why stick one's nose into the hedge when even the robinsings alone? Check!(T he CLERK an d th e SECRET ARY exchan ge m e an in gfu lglances.)

SECRET ARY: At first glance there's logic in it -CLERK: Unfortunately, this kind of logic is merely formal-

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THE GARDEN PARTYI v: Moreover, the actual content of the suggestion

I Ilht' lO an ignorance of several basis principles. ' l0\1mean you'd approve if the dignified cou~?f our

ulen party were disrupted by some s?rt of dad~stIcI II1 Inwhich would certainly ensue if such an Important11I1 I it were junctional area as the Large Dance floor A. ' 1 1 tualiti ;lI HI be opened to unbridled inte ec nesr

I A V : Moreover, what makes you think that Large ~ance"HIl A is larger than Small Dance Floor C? Why deceive

I f ? . knur -Iy our colleagues of the Organizin~ CoIDmlt.tee . ewI w 1 1 why they restricted Self-Entertamment with Aids

III lI\usement precisely within the confines of Small DanceIIHI ,.I I ARV: You mean you don't trust the resolutions of theh uizing Committee? . . .

I (omposed of the leading officials of the L1qu1datIonHh .?IIARV: Old, experienced men..who long before you :w.er~-Iunwere devotedly liquidating? - - .I In conditions which your generation cannot even begin to\\ ine? ;l

I (/interS) Well, well, well! How are things at the entr~ce,11 ving fun? Conversation flowing? The garden party 1Sfory ryone!. Thank you. It's flowing-l'ARY: It's flowing- ,Well, that's good! It's really sort of pretty good that you re

h r on duty - go on, sit down - make yourselvesomfortable _ relax - undress, if you like - take off yourh s _ damn it, aren't you just among yourselves? We~,how did you like my inauguration speech? ~' eh? I ~ustve it a sort of human touch, you know, to liven, up things abit out here. Right down the popular level, wasn t 1t?Wellnow I wasn't putting it on, you know. It comes sort ofnam'rallY to me. In fact, I hate phrase-mongering and Iresolutely reject all sterile cant. That's the way I am. You

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THE GARDEN PARTYsee, I'm quite an ordinary chap made of flesh and bonesmilk and blood, in short - as they say - I'm one of youlon, if you have something to eat, eat! We don't want tobother about formalities, do we? You know, really, noforeign is human to me. I mean it! Well, never mind.thing, I've managed to establish this friendly, informalatmosphere among you. That's the way I am. Wherevercome there's lots of fun. Never mind. The LiquidationOffice is a useful institution with a complicated and aadministrative agenda. ut in spite of it, I'm SOrrY..o sa~you do sometimes slip into bureaucratIc practk"es. Sectiave1drea"dynotIC 1, Itwas discu a ve - and theresult is this garden party. But don't worry. Now - in thefirst stage - it's only a matter of letting your hair down inhuman sort of way, establishing among yourselves a nicewarm, human relationship and then frankly stopping to 'think how to ventilate the whole shop. Good gracious,chums, you really don't live like people, and that's a factIYou know a woman can become pregnant on the Moon?course she can. On the honeymoon! Damn it, aren't we allsons of one big mother? Oh well- I must run along now.Have to make sure that conversation in the whole area isflowing. Try and have some sort of fun here while I'm awa(Exits.)(A long pause.)

CLERK: Well, how are things at home? What about the childrenQuite a handful, eh?SECRET ARY: They aren't really - I haven't any - I haven't-CLERK: What? What's that? Aren't you married?SECRETARY: No, I'm not-No-Are you?CLERK: No - neither am 1-SECRET ARY: And what about the children?CLERK: Well- you know how it is - quite a handful- you know(Pause.) .SECRET ARY: Listen - Large Dance Floor. A - when we look at itfrom the distance of time -CLERK: Yes?

THE GARDEN PARTYin a certain sense really-

, ?I Auger than Small Dance Floor C -IIIIh ontext of the new historical situation, certainly.

1 ; They concealed it from us, didn't they?III n w let's not be afraid to say openly: if we move

1 1 1 .11 1 rtainment with Aids to Amusement to Large Dance1 1 . 11 A

1 v: We shall thus enable a greater number of employeesI. III[lain themselves with Aids to Amusement.

11 I y we no longer have to be afraid ofAids to Amusement!I v: Wait-isn't it just another mouse-trap?

I 1 your pardon!I 1AkV: I'm sorry. Large Dance Floor Aisindeedlarge! I. t 11\1[ the courage with which it has been revealed to us!

1 1 , h ware things at home? Whatabout the children?lil t a handful, eh?

I J. 11 I. use me, but in direct proportion to the amount byIlllh Large Dance Floor A is larger than Small Dance FloorI Ie number of employees who can .entertain themselves ,Ilhfunnynosesatoneandthesameume. He who fishes near ,[lntovy doesn't need to jump into the mulberry bush. Check!

II I So what? To say these things today is no sign of courage.I )lIn't you see that if we're going to repeat over and over the11 1 11 h for which the struggle has long ago been won, namelyI t the Large Dance Floor A is indeed large, we're onlyub titutingonehackn~ed braseforanother. No,no! Thepoint is that tod;y we need action, not words!

I I I 1'ARY: Precisely what I had in mind amoment ago -I .Enters) Well, well, well! Howarethingsattheentr~ce?I laving fun? Conversation flowing? The garden party ISforveryone!

I c . nARY: Thankyou,it'sflowing-I I I KK: It's flowing-I A I : Well, I'm glad to hear that! I see I've hit the nail on the ~ead

with my inaugurating. And why the hell not! I'm no beginnerat inaugurating.

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THE GARDEN PARTYSECRETARY: Do you often inaugurate?FALK: What a question! Good gracious, it's sort of my job!

all, I.' ex rt u tor of Parties ConferencesCelebrations. I work a~e Inauguration Service, Sec .

CLERK: As soon as you opened your mouth we knew you wreal expert.

FALK: I've had a long inaugurational practice and I specialize';Igarden parties. B~t I inaugurate from a sort of burning\ human need, not Just because it's my job.I SECRETARY: Are all inaugurators like you?FALK: I'~ afraid not. Th~re are two camps at the Inauguration. S~fV1ce:old dogmatic phrase-mongers, and we youngWith a sense of humour. You see, even we have our intproblems. How then could one expect you to be withoutthem! No, not every inaugurator has reached the level wwe'd like to see him. Not by a long shot!

CLERK: But you've reached the level where you'd like to seeyourself!

FALK: I'm trying to help my weaker colleagues, to show themway. But actually the main thing is that, in spite of all theInauguration Service as a whole s~s today in the foreof the sUJ,l-",-e for tbC.DCW a roach to man.

SECRET ARY:We'll have to learn a lot from you!CLERK: A lot!FALK: A lot! Have you read my booklet T ow a rd s t he P op ul ar / 1C ha ra cte r o f G ard en P artie s O rg an iz ed by our Institutions?,SECRET ARY: I was just about to - ICLERK: So was 1-FALK: Well! No wonder, chums! I mean, really, one must sort of

follow what's going on! That's the least one can do, damn it!t In my book I've developed the thesis that every garden party

\

ought before anything else to be a platform for a healthy,popular and at the same time well-disciplined entertainmentof all employees. As a matter of fact, your garden party hasall the earmarks of becoming such a platform.

SECRETARY: Thank you-CLERK: Thanks-

16

THE GARDEN PARTYr you, you know. We inaugurators like you

I 1111 11 th ers sort of off the tops of our heads, as is ."'1''''''''"' workers.hquidation officers like you inaugurators asI Villi If -\ At a certain stage it's really important that )1 1 11 ly say to one another that they're sort of people.

"nUlmJ", p 0 ress progresses and we mustn't get stuck with ~II1 It proclamanons. ou mow, always say man-I I I And so, in i l i e same way, you too - now let's not

I1 ,tIll open our trap and say it aloud - you too mustI I " , chums, life -life is a bloody marvellous thing. 1 1I IlI\! think? IIt

Bloody marvellous-1 1 1 1 ven a liquidation officer has a right to his slice of a .1 1 1 1 1 1 1 - I mean, you know - er - full life! And each one isIII d IIIhave a human defect. They sort of - you know-tllll 10 people. Iope that you - and you too - have someII,Ior other. If not, we'll never really sort of get alongI II f.That's a fact. I refuse to work with paper" 11 I ti ns. You may stake your life on that!

v: I have a defect-n h ve I. I'm obscene-

In what way?I'v a filthy picture at home-Io you? And what about you?I I ARY : SO do I . I ht's the spirit! Give it a go, chums, give it a go!. ....dness knows I hate them scrags that sticks their heads ID11UU l'It and when faced with problematicals such as, et s .sa,y,.aIt of emotional life! Now, take love, for example. Ain t it ahloody useful thing - so long as one knows how to latch on to1\ I Damn it, to catch hold of these things is after all a part ofworking with human material. As they say in my home town:atch a rabbit and you'll have it! Well, what do you say-TARY: Oh, we agree. Absolutely.

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THE GARDEN PARTYCLERK: Catch a rabbit and you'll have it!FALK: Oh well - I must run along now. Have to make sure

conversation in the whole area is flowing. Try and hasort of fun here while I'm away! (Erits.)(Pause.)

CLERK: Look-SECRET ARY: Yes?CLERK: Look - a sparrow! It's flying - moss blossoms _ mare a-humming - nature!SECRETARY: What?CLERK: I say, sparrows are flying - the boss mlossoms _ themeadows are a-humming_SECRETARY: Oh, I see - nature!CLERK: Yes. Well now. You have hair! It's pretty-gold_ .

buttercrumbs - I mean buttercups - and your nose is 1ikerose -I'm sorry - I mean like a forget-me-not _ white-SECRETARY: Look - a sparrow!

CLERK: What?SECRETARY: It's flying!CLERK: And you have breasts.SECRETARY: I know.CLER~: Two -like two -like two - two little founts _ (P ause.)

I m sorry - I mean footballs -like two footballs, that's wmeant to say - sorry-SECRETARY: That's all right - go on _CLERK: And your eyes are like two - two -like two footballs-Imean buttercups_SECRETARy: How are things at home?CLERK: Well, you know - nature - I mean forget-me-nots_SECRET ARY: How about the footballs? Quite a handful, eh?CLERK: Not really - they blossom - you know-SECRETARY: I see, you're not married!CLERK: I mean they're humming - No! Sparrows _ moss _ boss-

like ~o - ~o - To h~ll with it! I'd like to know who thoughup this stupid campaign! Catch a rabbit and you'll have it!Bloody fool!

SECRETARY: I beg your pardon!18

THE GARDEN PARTYI IV 'I he Large Dance Floor A is indeed large. IIa lour ge with which it has been revealed to us." I rrow I "I IIll ,but if an hour ago the Self-Entertainment with

11111 ment had been moved to Large Dance Floor'111I \I ould have been shorter by at least a hundredI 11w r going to repeat over and over the truth for

I I Iuggle has long ago been won, namely ~at theI) I1n" Floor A is indeed large, we're only going to

I!lttll' one hackneyed phrase for another. The point isI I w need action, not words! One should never fire aII 11111 into the nettles. Check!lido disagree! Most emphatically! There are ~_h 11 n ver become trite. And I shall never allow any_

III t I r to us as the truth that the Large Dance Floor AII Ie l l rge to be maliciously be~ttl~ ~y an~ references to'"1111 self-evidence. For nothing IS self-evident, so long

.1 1 I till lurks among us even one of those who wouldI I Ih) see us removed from every dance floor!

I I ly what I had in mind a while ago-I nt , wearing a ga y papier-mache nose) Well, well, ~ell!

things at the entrance? Having fun? Conversation1 1 \ 1 III? The garden party is for everyone!Ih nk you, it's flowing- A Y: It's flowing-11(1what are you talking about, eh?About love-W 11,that's lovely. Even love sort of belongs to.man. ~

th man oftoda has rich C l lin much, much ncher thanny preceding man! But that's exactly why we must e.d mned sure that our love doesn't go and. spill over a c~~ Iuptimum level of manageability. Otherwise our love might) and awake in people some temporary sadnesses as well. JI 'fARY: And these must be fundamentalIy.eradi~ted!

I I I :As long as the don't belong among onstructIvdnesses for we know those, too. We mustn proceed

mechanically, so we don't pour out the bath with the baby.19


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THE GARDEN PARTY1 I SECRET ARY: As long as the bath of constructive sadnesses d) t I conceal destructive ones as well, of course _CLERK: Regarding the question of sadness, I'm an optimist.SECRETARY: I, on the contrary, am an enemy of cheap op .FALK: I'm so glad you're discussing! Today we must discussl

while we're doing it we mustn't be afraid of contrary op'_Ev~ho's QQnest!Yinterested in Our common ca- o~ght to h . fr2!!!2ne to three contr~ qpinion.s _ asmcely put ill the r~solution of the 23rd InaugurationalConference. You know that a woman can get pregnant onMoon?

SECRET ARY: Yes, on the honeymoon.FALK: (Irritated) Jokes - jokes - nothing but jokes! Why don't

talk about art, for example? There you've jolly rich matfor discussion, all nice and ready. Good gracious you m~e haven't still got awhole damned heap ofb~g problill matters of art?

SECRETARY: I was just going to mention art-FALK: Art - that's what I call a f ighting word! I myself-sort of

pers~nally. - fancy art. I think of it as the spice of life. I thinkour tune directly calls for great dramaticals full of full-blheroes - for courageous, audacious painting oflandscapes_the contemporary spectator needs more and morecontemporary plays - the more contemporary, the better!ought to become an organic part of the life of each one of usSECRETARY: Absolutely! At the very next meeting of theDelimitation Subcommission I suppose to recite a few lyriepical verses!

HUGO: (To himself) 'Lyrico-epical verses' _FA~K: Mind you, it's good that you're inflamed by the question ofI art, but at the same time you mustn't SOrtof one-sidedly

Ioverrate art and so sink into unhealthy aestheticismprofoundly hostile to the spirit of our garden parties. As if we') didn't have in technology a whole damned heap of burningf problems.CLERK: I was just going to change the subject and mentiontechnology .

THE GARDEN PARTY1111 that's what I call a fighting word! You know, !11llIlI we're living in the century of technology - the {

"''''''''I-'Ih II phone-the magnet-not even GillVemon .I III III anything like this! -.- J

III I r ad Twenty Thousand Lea gues under th e Sea .III '1 1 able to read at even greater depths!I 1IIIIh discoveries of Captain Nemo. He hasn't got-

, 11I h hasn't! He hasn't got a clue - this Vemon-11 Ih (h overies of our captains of science. TechnologyI I 11' I . me an organic part of the life of each one of us-

" 1 1 1 1 1 Iy! At the very next meeting of the ':-iquidation1IIIltllllugy Section I'll suggest that we reconsider the"ihll of the chemification ofli uidation ~tU

, , , Jum tlf) 'The chemification of liquidation prac~,:,::11I1 you, it's good that you're inflamed by the question of

11I11I1l ) y but at the same time you mustn t sort of one-I ' "IV uve;"ate technology and so sink into ~rilous ., 1 11 I m which changes man into a mechanical cog m ~eI I 1 1 1 1 I nized world of a spiritless civilization. As if we didn'tI whole damned heap of burning problems in matters of

I1 II v: I was just going to change the subject and mentionI1 ' .'1

1 \ that's what I call a fighting word! The colleagues ill j11 11 I 'partment of Culture surely know very ~e~ why Iih v're planning to publish a decree about arusnc courage.1 1 ' 1 1 Ike effect already in the second quarter. .I I AR Y : Quite right! Art must provoke through audaciousI rimantation in form - Impressionism - that sort of

IllIng-11. Cl . (To himself) Impressionism- .

J It's good that you're inflamed. by the question of art. Butu shouldn't underrate technology-

J I : was just going to change the subject and mentiont hnology-: Technology - that's what I call a fighting word! The .colleagues of industry surely know very well why they're

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THE GARDEN PARTYplanning the introduction of IJlachines already in the nextquarter.

CLERK: Quite right! Technology must make use of the latestdiscoveries - the periodic table ofthe elements, forexample-

HUGO: ( To h im s el f) 'The periodic table of the elements'-FALK: It's good that you're inflamed by the question of

technology. But you shouldn't underrate art.SECRETARY: Art - that's what I call afighting word!FALK: It's good that you're inflamed by the question of art-CLERK: But you shouldn't underrate technology!SECRETARY: Technology - that's what I call a fighting word!CLERK: It's good that you're inflamed by the question oftechnology!SECRETARY: But you shouldn't underrate art!CLERK: Art - that's what I call a fightillg word!SECRETARY: It's good that you're infIalDedby the question ofart-FALK: Stop it, for God's sake! This way we'll never get along

together! If you mean to torpedo w e friendly atmosphereI'.ve ma.naged to create among yOUunder the guise of an opendiSCUSSIOn,and fUrthermore, to undermine the success ofour garden party - then there's no place for you in theclose-knit ranks of our collective! I won't stand for anyrowdyism here! If anybody starts a rumpus in this place I'llcatch hold of him with these two grabbers and send him outof here spinning like a top! Don't yoUdare come near meuntil you've made it up with one another in a human sort ofway! Hooligans!(The CLERK and the SECRETARY ba ck ou t i n t er r or . HUGO

[ softly_1, to hmuelf.)HUGO: Lyrico-:pi~ verses - chemification ofliquidation practice

- l.mpressIOIDsm - the periodic table of the elements +Iyrico-epical verses - chemification _

FALK: Hey, you! What do you think aboutall this?HUG?: Me? ~ell, at the beginning the argument was quite

interesnng, but then it got a bit out ofband, didn't it?22

THE GARDEN PARTYPau se ) I mean from the beginning a wrong perso.nal ton~

W is maintained, although throughout an interestIng topicalproblem was under discussion, wasn't it? ~Pause.) Of ~~urselin e may look at it from different angles, SIdes and ~s1Uons,hut at the same time one must never forget to consider all thePfOS and cons, must one? (Pause. ) In fact, they were bothort of right and sort of wrong - or rather, on the comrarv-I th were wrong and both were right, weren't they? I meanthey were, were they not? (Pau se .) Yes, I agree, they werenot, though I don't think they were. In fact, th~med to Mve for otte at in-theJuture arLand. -

l chnology will sort of harmoniously supplem~nt ~h ~~rthe Iyrico-epical verses Will e p ID e c eiillficau~~.

liquidation practice - the periodic ~bl~ of the elements w~h lp in the devetopmenroffmpressloms - ~rY-technologicarprodUct will be s~iall wired for the _reception ofaes eticOriin waves - the chimneys of theatomic power stauons will be decorated by our bestlandscape painters - there will be public reading roomstwenty thousand leagues under the sea - differentialequations will be written in verse - on the flat roofs ofyclotrons there will be small experimental theatres wheredifferential equations will be recited in a human sort of way.Righ ;l (FAL~ st a re s a t HUGO wh o fe ar fu ll y ta ~s O U ! h i s ~ f ic a~ca rd and show s it to him . FALK, m i st ak in g h IS a c n on , sh ow s hIScard to HUGO. T he n th ey b Olh ca lm d ow n.)

, A l.K : I like the way you speak. In a human sort of way. Andyou're with it! I like you, you know! You're a borninaugurator! Come on, tell me - when did you leave theteam?

IItlGO: I've always fancied inaugurating-I ALK: Goodness gracious, how did you get stuck in the

Liquidation Office? Some injustice from the p~t?IIUGO: Well, you know how it is, one gets blown this way and

that-IALK: Or an assignment, perhaps?

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THE GARDEN PARTYHUGO; We all have our assignments_FALK; Special field assignment, eh? That's it, isn't it? Pity, Iwasn't really in good form t9day!HUGO: You weren't too bad-FALK: ~ou're all right, you know. Now you mustn't think I'm

trymg to butter you up - that's not my way _ but I mustI've grown a soft spot in my heart for you _ I mean it!HUGO: Same here:

FALK: My name's Maxy Falk, Why don't you call me Maxy!HUGO: Why not, you old Falk, you!FALK: Listen, chum, what about a nice little chat straight fromthe heart?HUGO: Sort of man to man, Maxy?FALK: That's it! What about it?HUGO: Why not! As a matter of fact, all this time I've been

thinking how nice it'd be if Wetwo could have a sort of realman-to-man chat! (H e p uts on FALK's gay nose.) Well, how'sthe boss? Quite a handful, eh?

FALK: The skipper? Has his faults, you know, but does his shareYou'll find him at his desk even at this hour. HUGO: At night?FALK: What are you liquidating, in fact?HUGO: SOI could go and see him right now?FALK: Are you going to?HUGO: You mean I couldn't?FALK: Why not? By the way - what for?HUGO: Just like that - have a little chat - that's all.FALK: I see. I don't want to pry_HUGO: Pry away-FALK: May I?HUGO: Sure.FALK: Well-er-whatfor?HUGO: Just like that - have a little chat _ that's all.FALK: I see. I don't want to pry_HUGO: Pry away-FALK: May I?HUGO; Sure.

THE GARDEN PARTY1 1 r what for?

11 I I k that - have a little chat - that's all.11 rh Inauguration Service isn't perfect, we all ~o~

I I here were mistakes. Main thing, the whole affair willli t 11 the hands of a pro.

I I 11 he won't give me a hard time, will he?I II'of history is the dictate of history - he'll see that.I1 h Iater men have had to see it. f fijI 1111 lilyquite an ordinary chap, you know, ~ade 0 . es

11 I I III ) milk and blood - and also to me nothing foreign111111I10.II t you'll proceed with feeling - you do understand

"1'1 and that's damned good. } 1I III of course I hate phrase-mongerlngand.I.resolJJ.te_y_I 1 1 cant! cI IIIan it, clnu:n! You know me, don't you? . G :

11 I lid I haven't even mentioned them scrags that sucks (.1 1 r heads in the sand when faced with burningI'lIlhlcmaticals! .('v never been afraid of the truth! When the,cause IS atIlk all personal interests must go overboard.

I I I C l r '~ sure he'll meet me halfway. Damn it, aren't we allCIn of one big mother? .

I You bet! But you mustn't put us all, as they say, I-? one1 1 1 1 ket! Even in liquidating one must sort of appreciate thedifferences! Take a chap like me, for example-N . d M thing I've managed to create here aIIIC 0: evermm. am, I eallyort of friendly informal atmosphere - but now must r

run along! Don't worry, we're not seeing each ~ther for thelast time. Who knows, tomorrow I might be quite at homeamong you!

t AI.K: You'll be through with us in no time!1111 0: Well, that's that. Now try and have some sort of fun here

while I'm away! .I ALK: I see what you mean. These are tempestuous tlmes-

everything's on the move-HUGO: Do ha\1e a rest-

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THE GARDEN PARTYFALK: Everything's evolving at breakneck speed-HUGO: Calm down-FALK: What's new today will be old tomorrow-HUGO: Relax-FALK: We're searching for new paths-HUGO: Make yourself comfortable-FALK: Opening windows -HUGO: Undress, if you like-FALK: The ice is breaking - the thaw-HUGO: Take off your shoes-FALK: Yesterday the Inauguration Service was in the forefront,

tomorrow it'll bring up the bloody rear-HUGO: Have a nap, if you like! Even inaugurators are sort of m

damn it! As they say in my home town - catch a rabbit andyou'll have it. Check!(HUGO qu ic k ly l eav e s. FALK sits d ow n in d esp air. T he CLERKa nd th e SECRETARY gingerly t ;lpproach. P au se . T hen th e CLERs lo w ly b eg in s to d eliv er h is 'm e ss ag e'. FALK s i ts motionless ly,sta res ah ea d a nd ig no re s th em .)

U:RK: We've made up with one another now - we exchangedvari us facts from our private lives - we threw pine cones atach other - we tickled each other - nudged each other-tried to throw each other off balance - I pulled my colleaguethe Liquidation Secretary by the hair - my colleague theLiquidation Secretary bit me - but all just in fun, you know!Then we showed each other various peculiarities of ourpersons - we both found it very interesting - and we alsotouched each other - and, finally, we even called each otherby our first names a few times!

FALK: Shut up! Well, why are you staring at me? You think I careabout you! Not at all! Not in the least! You're nothing but airforme! You don't exist! I don't even see you! Well-goon!the Inauguration Service is being liquidated, so you'd betterbe there! You'd better not miss it! Hurry up!(FALK a ng rily sta lks o ut. T he CLERK s ta re s b la n kl y a fte r h im f ora w hile . T hen th e p en ny dro ps an d h e be gin s to p ace joyfu lly upa nd d ow n th e sta ge .)

26

THE GARDEN PARTY

1I y'. lever! They are clever! (Halts.) Now, llet's seeA11 S . be liquidated under etter ,IIIh ln8ugurauon ~rvlce ) Christ they're clever!11111 1 I 1 iter B? (Agatnpacal les . ~y to me now?Y' Sadly) Joe! Is that you cand, .' 'B glad it's all over! We must hurry an)h omeon. e

I Mi 1 W .mustn't be late!I I"I 1 I- ss. e. . kl sh e sta rts to Ward s th eli t I!CRETARY ~~gtns ro s~t ~~ to fol low. But beforeIt I 'h c~k, sm tltng happt!Y ,. runs on the stage,faceshtnJe "m e to le av e, Fa lk , f u rtOUS ,

I ".and shouts.) . tart liquidating, I'll beuu know what? By ~ebe~lne~ls (P uts h is to ng ue ou t a tI ' dl That's where I 11. .

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The Garden Party, Act I, Scene 2

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Transcript of The Garden Party, Act I, Scene 2