The Full Monty

12
Aſter years of speculations it has finally been confirmed. e ‘Mon- ster of Loch Ness’, also known as Nessie, is real. On September 17th researchers have managed to cap- ture the creature on one of the many webcams inside the lake. Af- ter a long hunt and a large dose of luck they successfully managed to put a tracking device on the crea- ture so they can follow it anywhere it goes. e lake will be closed for at least half a year, as further re- search has to be done. Due to this discovery the Loch Ness lake will be closed for at least half a year. Mandy Hoesen, a lo- cal police officer, states that large fences will be placed all around the lake. Anyone who trespasses, gets fined. is will have an enor- mous impact on the local town Dores, which relies mainly on its tourism. Wiebe Dankers, mayor said at the end. e discovery of Nessie also has a down side to it. e lake can turn into a Jurassic park-style attrac- tion, and we all know how that ended. e increasing number of tourist will also have a large im- pact on the local environment. Something Imke Cremers, a nature conservator, is very con- cerned about. Loch Ness is a cru- cial lake for the local wild life and also of course for Nessie itself. e lake can get contaminated and that could already be the end for Nessie. e question is: “Do we know anything more about Nessie now?”. Not really. All we know now is that it is real and people don’t have to be afraid of it. It hasn’t eaten anyone in the last 80 years, so why would it now? of Dores, said the number of tour- ists will grow with huge numbers now that the monster has been confirmed. To cope with all these visitors the people of Dores are planning to use the many mead- ows in the town as a campsite. During the press conference there was one question on everybody’s lips: ‘What is it?’ Is it a reptile, a ginormous fish or is it perhaps a mammal? Unfortunately Kevin Strongmann and Gina Poort- man, a Nessie-specialist and the representative of Nessie Hunt- ers, couldn’t answer any of those questions. e video isn’t enough evidence to define what kind of animal it is.ings like the size, age and gender still has to be de- terment. It can take days, or even years before we know any more about this creature. “It does look a bit like the pictures”, Strongmann By Rob Coenen

description

The free newspaper of the world made by: Jeroen Heessels, Rob Coenen, Tim Buiting, Dennis Vereijken, Olaf Bus and Ricardo Pluijmers.

Transcript of The Full Monty

Page 1: The Full Monty

After years of speculations it has finally been confirmed. The ‘Mon-ster of Loch Ness’, also known as Nessie, is real. On September 17th researchers have managed to cap-ture the creature on one of the many webcams inside the lake. Af-ter a long hunt and a large dose of luck they successfully managed to put a tracking device on the crea-ture so they can follow it anywhere it goes. The lake will be closed for at least half a year, as further re-search has to be done.Due to this discovery the Loch Ness lake will be closed for at least half a year. Mandy Hoesen, a lo-cal police officer, states that large fences will be placed all around the lake. Anyone who trespasses, gets fined. This will have an enor-mous impact on the local town Dores, which relies mainly on its tourism. Wiebe Dankers, mayor

said at the end.The discovery of Nessie also has a down side to it. The lake can turn into a Jurassic park-style attrac-tion, and we all know how that ended. The increasing number of tourist will also have a large im-pact on the local environment. Something Imke Cremers, a nature conservator, is very con-cerned about. Loch Ness is a cru-cial lake for the local wild life and also of course for Nessie itself. The lake can get contaminated and that could already be the end for Nessie.The question is: “Do we know anything more about Nessie now?”. Not really. All we know now is that it is real and people don’t have to be afraid of it. It hasn’t eaten anyone in the last 80 years, so why would it now?

of Dores, said the number of tour-ists will grow with huge numbers now that the monster has been confirmed. To cope with all these visitors the people of Dores are planning to use the many mead-ows in the town as a campsite.During the press conference there was one question on everybody’s lips: ‘What is it?’ Is it a reptile, a ginormous fish or is it perhaps a mammal? Unfortunately Kevin Strongmann and Gina Poort-man, a Nessie-specialist and the representative of Nessie Hunt-ers, couldn’t answer any of those questions. The video isn’t enough evidence to define what kind of animal it is.Things like the size, age and gender still has to be de-terment. It can take days, or even years before we know any more about this creature. “It does look a bit like the pictures”, Strongmann

By Rob Coenen

Page 2: The Full Monty

MASS MURDER ONFONTYS HOGESCHOLEN EINDHOVENOn Sunday the 30th of September, a message came on Twitter. An individ-ual is planning on taking a weapon to Fontys Hogeschool in Eindhoven with the intensions to make a mass murder. Why? No one knows. After the Tweet FHE planned a press conference.The press conference started off with Nady Egelmeers, the spokeswoman of the press conference. She intro-duced Marri de Kort a student at FHE and the first person who noticed the tweet. Tom van Herk the principal of FHE, police officer Joris Kersten and Joël Reaven, a psychologist.Marri told us she thought the whole thing was a joke so she didn’t took it very serious. Then she found out that it was an anonymous tweet and she got scared a bit. Marri send an email to the principal describing the situa-tion. Luckily she was smart enough not to tell the other students any-thing because she thought it would cause a lot of panic among them.Principal Tom van Herk took the situation seriously, of course he has to, as he is responsible for the se-cureness for teachers, students en

other visitors at FHE. ‘The teachers were informed and the security was sharpened’, told van Herk. ‘The moment we read the tweet, the alarm bells started to rankle’, says police officer Joris Kersten. ‘We are prepared for the worst, we are going to check bags on school and we are going to localise the IP-adres from the tweet.’ Psychologist Joël Raeven told us about people who post these kind of tweets. ‘There are people who are mad at the world, school or even teachers’, Raeven said. ‘What they don’t know is that the victims can have several problems like post mediated stress’. After the press conference there was time for some questions. A journalist asked why the principal didn’t closed the school. Van Herk responded : ‘We can’t be sure about anything, we don’t want to cause panic among the students. Maybe it is just a joke. ’To-gether with Kersten we made up a plan. If there is something going on that day, we are well prepared. So we can assure you everything is going to be allright.’

By Dennis Vereijken

Rain in the south-east willspread to the Midlands, east Walesand parts of south-westEngland later.Patchy rain formuch of Scotland. Elsewhere, mostly dry but fairly cloudy.

MAX:15 ° C

Rain in England and Wales will move away

north-eastwards leaving it dry with clear spells

later. Further rain in Scotland. Mostly dry

but cloudy in Northern Ireland

MIN:3 ° C

Page 3: The Full Monty

The worlds biggest meteorite was been found yesterday in the forests of Hampshire. This means a big impact in the world, but also for this peaceful city. ‘The fireball may have wreaked some devastation, but out of the short local chaos opportunities have already emerged’, smiles the mayor of South-ampton during the press conference.Ruby Cremers was the first witness of the impact during that night in the forest. ‘First I heard an unusual sound that took my attention and after that there was a big bang. Curiosity took a hold over me and I went looking for the cause of the noise. Finally stand-ing near the impact, I saw a huge cra-ter and a big, black-grey stone in the

middle of it. I didn’t knew what it was, but it definitely wasn’t from earth’, she says with firm eyes. ‘After I had called the police immediately, I was still full of adrenaline. I mean, who witnesses a meteor from space?’To complement what Ruby saw that night, astronomer Mark Huts gives an answer: ‘A meteorite is a natural object originating from outer space, that survives impact with the Earth’s surface. A meteorite’s size can range from small to extremely large’. He comes to a conclusion: ‘It’s special be-cause this one is so big. Usually they don’t get this far to Earth’. The investi-gation team spread the word that the asteroid came from the belt of Jupiter

and Mars. It is more than 4 billion years old.After Mr. Huts stated that it went with 18.000 km straight to our planet, geologist Levin reports it was a 2.5 on the Richter scale. ‘A small forest was damaged, but no one was hurt’, the police said. The officer continues: ‘All civilians were informed and calmed down after the happening. So there’s absolutely no worry for any worse case scenarios’. While investigation is still running, other people and organisations are trying to come up with a strategy to handle the upcom-ing measures. The head of the South-ampton Museum seems rather very amused: ‘We are excited with the dis

covery. We already had an asteroid in our collection, but we can now expand with the number one larg-est stone of the world. This means we need to close the museum for a while, but when it is done there will be a grand opening for all who wants to see it. Of course we need to adhere to the rules we set by the government and mayor. So until now this is the only information we are bringing out into the public’.‘Not only the museum, but the entire city will be lifted to a higher level. Being at the centre of world atten-tion means we have a lot of things to do’, answers the mayor. ‘Our total economic market will be aimed at this project. This stone will make our city grow, and thanks to that fact, we will put the profits into our other cul-tural backgrounds to make it a tour-ist attraction as best as we can. In the end, all citizens will benefit from this delight’. A young, local civilian ap-pends this thought: ‘It’s like the city wakened up since the quake. Every-body seems to be enjoying it, because nothing ever happens here. This is a memorable day for every one of us’.

By Ricardo Pluijmers

Movies. Good for students?As a student, you are always having a rough and hectic time. Always study-ing, with hardly having some hours free time. This in turn means less re-laxation. A good balance between work and relaxation would be great! Perhaps watching movies is something for you?

CreativityDoing a creative study? Try a movie that goes in different directions than mainstream moviemakers, such as Quentin Tarantino’s. Analyse the sen-tences that are being used or how the story is built up. What does it take to make such a perfect movie? Inspire yourself with new ideas and tech-niques. Who knows this will give you a boost while making difficult home-work.

Life lessonsThere are some days, when you’re completely lost within yourself.

Doesn’t matter, there’s enough mate-rial to lift yourself up out of thatempty void. A lot of movies are based on real life lessons. Go search for a movie that suits your mood! Get to know your main character and just watch how he finds solutions that you haven’t found yet. It will definitely save you a lot of time!

EnglishLast but not least, when you’re bad at English (and don’t want to put much effort in learning it), watch a real Eng-lish movie. As an amateur, you can ac-tivate an English dub or as an average learner you can watch without them. Make it as difficult as you want: try writing some difficult words you hear in the movie, and correct them later. This should at least give you a little progress, shouldn’t it? Relaxation and studying at the same time, it IS pos-sible!

Column written by Ricardo Pluijmers

Page 4: The Full Monty
Page 5: The Full Monty

HAREN, 7 sept 2012 – A fifteen-year-old girl from Haren, The Netherlands caused a lot of chaos after accidently inviting 400.000 people to her super sweet sixteen. She sent the invitations on Facebook with a ‘public’ status, so everyone was able to see and share it. At least 30 people were injured and the damage is over 1000.000 euros. As we all know, director Nima Nourizadeh re-leased the movie ‘Project X’ last year. This nick-name is also given to this unique, bizarre event. The party was promoted due a gigantic snowball-effect on different social media. The largest me-dium that spread the word was Facebook. The hosts of this big happening was a 21-year-old man from Christchurch, New Zealand. “A friendfrom Holland asked me to host this Facebook-

event, because the consequences of this enormous Super Sweet Sixteen was a much discussed topic in The Netherlands”, he explained. The girl who accidentily invited all those people didn’t respond to any questions from the press. We only know that she, her family and some other villagers fled to an unknown place. On the concerning evening, a few thousand people were misbehaving. Among them were not only young party animals, but also football hooligans from different Dutch clubs. They demolished cars, shops and various statues. The damage-count is well over 1000.0000 euros. Who is going to pay the compensation has not yet been decided. Poli-ticians and other governmental institutes

By Olaf Bus

The luck and look mix Column written by Olaf Bus

Screaming girls, complete cover video’s, remakes of his video clips, parody’s and much, much more. You may probably guess who I mean. The immense popular teenager Justin Bieber. His significant fame is a little bit too much if you ask me. There are so much singers and songwriters that are way better than this selfish 18-year-old boy. The worst thing about it is that it’s just the way he looks. I asked a Bieber-fan what she liked about him. ‘I don’t know, he’s just so sexy’, she explained. She couldn’t even sing two lines of his most popular song ‘Baby.’ If we take a look at his live performances and his improvisations on television shows, the results are just horrible. He doesn’t even sing clear and has absolutely no rhythm. He also plays guitar, drums and trum-pet. I cannot even begin to describe how that hurts my ears. The way he became famous is just a mix of luck and good looks. Usher’s record label asked him to perform for Usher and his managers. They gave Bieber a record deal imme-diately. Despite the enormous profit for his label, I wonder if Usher occasionally doubts about this contract. Justin not only fails at his music while performing live, he also fell from the stage a couple of times and he seems to misbehave while going out. Not so smart, Bieber!

Dennis Vereijken

Page 6: The Full Monty

Olaf Bus

Page 7: The Full Monty

We see them almost everywhere. At the trainstation, in the supermarket and even in museums. I’m not talking about elderly people who don’t know where they are, but I’m talking about the Quick Response-code. Also known as the QR-code. You know. It’s like a white square wich has a lot of little black squares in it. It’s that code you can ‘scan’ with you’re smartphone or tablet. A code we all want to scan, but no one ever dus. Why don’t we do this? Before I’m going to give you the answer to this question, it’s important to know some-thing about the history of this code. The QR-code first saw the daylight in 1994. A Japanese company (who else) invented the code to iden-tify auto parts. Soon people started to realise that this code had a lot more up its sleeve. What also caused a rise in popularity of this code is the fact that it’s completely free and for everyone available. Well then! Enough history lessons for today. Back to our main question. Why doesn’t anyone scan these codes nowa-days? I can be very short and clear about this: IT LOOKS STUPID! Who is seriously going to pick his smartphone out of his pocket to stand al alone in front of a poster to ‘scan’ it. Everyone will be looking at you as if you are delusional. You’re 3G mobile internet connection (if you even have one) is probably even too weak to load the page you just scanned. When you’re trying to

scan the code in a supermarket the em-ployees will think you’re one of them, so before you know it they’ll start to ask you if you can work an extra hour. And what about museums. Using your mobile device in a museum makes you look uninterested and bored. So that’s not an option.However, companies are still using them as if it’s their daily routine. In the contrary, the number of QR-codes used by compa-

nies is even increasing! Now-adays, you’ll even see posters which only contain a QR-code because it should wake attention. Well? Not really, it has been done hundreds of times so that doesn’t make it original anymore now does it? Also packages on prod-ucts contain our beloved QR-

codes. I’d rather read what’s in the peanut butter then having to scan a freaking code. It may sound a bit as if I’m tearing the QR-code apart, but I do see a vast amount of potential in it. The QR-code has to go back to the basics. It should be doing what it was been invented for. In hospitals the invento-ry of medicines will be a lot easier. The QR-code can also help the internal communi-cation in a company. For us consumers, it really gets useful when we can pay with our mobile devices. A code that can give you both information and allows you to pay the article at once will make the QR-code in-teresting again. The QR-code is dead, but it can simply rise from its own ashes.

Column written by Rob Coenen

A dying breed?Last Sunday, oktober 14 2012, it was there. There was a bird exhi-bition in the place where I walked trough my years of youth. A bird exhibition, a bird exhibition yes. I don’t get it. Why do you want to go to this kind of events? Yes I call It an event.My father is a lover of this flap-ping and squealing critters. And even I may, if father and mother are away on a holiday, can pro-vide this animals from fresh wa-ter and enough new seeds. I get a little bit of the charme of these critters. I even enjoyed it when I did my daily duty for them. When I was finished with filling up the water and the feeding-manger, the animals where flap-ping en squealing happy. They rushed to the water and seeds and started to eat and drink. I even started to recognise some squeaks after a while.Back to the event. The dy-ing breed. I had a conversation with an employee from Fitland (the place where the event took place). His task was to provide the people who came to the event from food en drinks. The story began with an description from

the people and what they were doing when they arrived.The conclusion was that the age wasn’t under 50, the mostly men were discussing tremendous about the colours of some birds, and that the group has an really big stomach. Grown up people who are making themselves mad about the ‘whiteness’ from some birds. People like you and me would say that al the birds are white over there, but the special-ist who are over there would give you a lesson in bird colours. You feel it coming, nobody thought the same about the bird who had won the show.

The part of the story what I re-membered the most is the part where the employee told me about the eating habits of the group. I would call it wolfing. The employee was at the super-market for the second time in 2 days. His stack of ‘kroketten and frikadellen’, where plundered . He was laughing about it him-self. 200 kroketten and frikadel-len, like it was nothing.

By Dennis Vereijken

£ 19,-

Rob Coenen

Page 8: The Full Monty

Tim Buiting

Page 9: The Full Monty

Doing some research in a virus, mutating around, when you suddenly might have created a globally, life threatening pathogen. What to do? Looking around suspiciously and destroy it before anyone noticed it? Or instead investi-gate it to prevail it from getting so dangerous? This is about the recently discovered version of the birdflu H5N1, which is unlike the conta-gious virus for birds, now also contagious for human.Great panic in the politics and directions, but it turned to be less dangerous than it really was. ‘Pandemic’ and ‘Could kill hundred-millions of people’. Ferrets were used for an investiga-tion of the virus but this model isn’t entirely trustworthy. Soms examples: the Mexican flu. Not a single ferret survived, while only 1 in 30.000 people died on this. Or the Spanish influenza, which killed all the ferrets as well,

like a bio-bomb. This is a great risk and so a substantial argument. To counter that it shouldn’t be publiced or be censored, but isn’t that against scientific publication rights? Or are these rights irrelevant, next to the catas-tropic consequences?It could be that it is better to do publice this kind of data, despite the publication rights. The reason is that people can start doing re-search for a possible vaccine, to prevail these consequences. A race between scientists and terrorists who is faster. Prevailing seems to be the best option. The damage is done, the ter-rorists are aware and probably have their own microbiologists in service to make their little mass destruction weapon. Its better to stop hesitating and start thinking about your vac-cin. They’ll find out anyway.

only caused death for 1 in 100 people. There are far more possibilities in the natural cir-cumstances of laboratory experiments than in the real world. That a virus can be contagious for human, doesn’t mean it immediately can cause entire epidemics.But what if such a virus is life threatening and causes those epidemics? What should happen with it? Infact, this dilemma has nothing to dowith the bird flue, this applies for all viruses. There are countless possible viruses that can mutate to the category ‘life threatening’, so countless possibilities for evil plans as well. And that is namely what people are afraid of.They fear that when information about a dan-gerous virus gets publicated, it might lead to dangerous biological weapons in hands of ter-rorists or other malicious people. Globally, this can have extremely harmful consequences,

By Tim Buiting

Page 10: The Full Monty

“When you are given responsibility, you become more responsible.”

By Jeroen Heessels

There has been a lot of specula-tion about whether it’s a good decision to change the mini-mum drinking age to eighteen. Despite all opposition, the gov-ernment has recently decided to enforce the law. “Most teenagers drink to re-lax, but this can very easily get out of hand”, Meaza Jabore, minister of health, welfare and sports explained. “The new law will hopefully change this.” Medical specialist Me-lissa agrees. “There are a lot of things influencing the effect alcohol has on teenagers; sex, bodyweight, mood, age, the amount you’ve eaten before-hand etcetera. When it comes to alcohol; the older, the bet-ter.” This may sound logical, but other parties strongly dis-agree. “When you are given responsibility, you become more responsible.” Thijs van Uden protested. “Lowering

the legal age for alcohol will only slow down teenagers who are growing up.” However, having been a heavy drinker for years, Van Uden can see reason in the new law. “When I was sixteen, I partied almost every night. I even poi-soned myself once by drink-ing too much. Maybe this law will change things for good.” When we asked him where his drinking problems began, Melanie Maas, Psychologist, shed some light on the matter. “Usually young people, even children, will start drinking out of curiosity. Or just to ‘be cool’. These things might lead to troubles with the kids’ school of at home. The new law will surely tackle these problems.”Predictions cannot yet be done, but soon we will all know how the changes effect the youth. Due this winter the new laws be enforced.

Music can’t be taughtMusicians are everywhere. When you enter a bus, you might sit next to one. The blue-eyed lady asking you to follow her to your table in a restaurant, could be a talented pianist. After paying a visit to your grandma in her elder house, a guitarist behind a desk might greet you on your way out. Music is spread out over the whole society and yet it is so easily looked over. My question is, can all these ‘musicians’ actually play mu-sic? Do the they just know how to play music, or do they understand it? Can music be taught?Firstly I must explain how I fit in this story. You see, I’m a eighteen year old student. Born and raised in Holland. And for quite some time now I’ve been playing various instruments and genres, just so I could try and under-stand music. I am self-taught, which made me very insightful (read: stub-born) and passionate. So some time ago, I visited a local school for music. For me it was a little slice of Heaven; everybody was enthu-siastic and I could relate to them all! I couldn’t wait to start my study there! But when I saw the subjects I was ought

to take next year, everything changed. “Note placement” for example, what the hell is that? Are they going to tell me where I should put which notes in MY music?! Then it isn’t my music anymore, is it?Well, this is where the stubborn part kicks in. The part where I realised that music is such a personal thing to have and an even more personal thing to ques-tion, that I started to doubt it’s education. So can it be taught?The answer is no. And I’ll explain why. Music for me is about sharing your feel-ings through an instrument. Playing these instruments you can learn from others. But to be a true musician you must not only master your instrument. You must also master your own emo-tions. To be a true musician is to feel. Not to know. That’s why music can’t be taught.

Column written by Jeroen Heessels

Jeroen Heessels

Page 11: The Full Monty

Column written by Tim Buiting

For those on the ground, visibility was down to 300m, or around 1,000 ft.But anyone for-tunate to be high up got an unforgettable view of Dubai in the fog. Luckily, there are lots of viewpoints in the desert kingdom, dominated by the 830m (2,700ft) Burj Khali-fa - world’s tallest building.The phenomenon is down to a seasonal mix of plunging temperatures and rising humidity. Only when the Sun rises to burn away the mist each day does the desert ap-pear clearly again. Everyone should have seen this once. And I, with my age of 19, have been al-lowed to see it. It’s beautiful, stunning, gor-geous; there are no words to describe the

beautiful view you see from the highest buildings of the city. Would you imagine how it looks like when whole Amsterdam is in the mist? We would all think that we’re ended up in the land of Tita Tovenaar and became angels from above. How funny would that be! However, this beautiful photo was shot by a German photographer Thom Rusingh.The 32-year-old man took the elevator to the top floor, walked through the outer and thought for a second he was in heaven. Af-ter he ‘revived’, he grapped his camera and shot this dream that (for him) came true.

He might be a magician?

MONTYKU Win £100 every day thefullmonty.co.uk/montyku

For your chance to win £100 today, complete this Montyku.

A winner will be selected at random from correct entries received.

For more details visit www.thefullmonty.co.uk

Page 12: The Full Monty