Bell Chimes March 2003 - Page 1

SKITTLES & PRIZEGIVING

SATURDAY 29th MARCH

Food orders to David Bracey before 21st March !!

See back page

IN THIS

1 ANNUAL DINNER

2 RACING GOSSIP

FROM POND to PARADISE

3 GP14 A.G.M.

THE GP SKI TRIP

4 HOATHS HOGWASH

5 BALDRICK’S BANTER

FROM SHIP TO SHORE

6 SKITTLES & PRIZEGIVING

SAILING CALENDAR

issue

GP ANNUAL DINNER

7th December 2002

TTHHEE BBEELLLL CCHHIIMMEESS

GP14 POOLE YACHT CLUBGP14 POOLE YACHT CLUBGP14 POOLE YACHT CLUBGP14 POOLE YACHT CLUB

MARCH 2003MARCH 2003MARCH 2003MARCH 2003

Sue Southam asked Barbara Brann “Why do little boys whine?”. “That’s easy” she said “They’re practising to be men”

A guest list of 62 this time and to amuse them, modelling balloons with the usual toys and com-petitions going on. pictured below Our new Class Captain Philip Hoath taking his

vows

Are you

Overweight !Of course you are but what about your boat.

Join us at our

GP WEIGH INSunday 30

th March

From 11.30 a.m.

Numbers to PHILIP Please 01202 696847

• New sails - Lucky You

Bring them along to be measured

Bell Chimes March 2003 - Page 2

Don’t forget ! Stay tuned to our web site

www.poolegp14.co.uk

Also, we need your input

contact Den if you have any ideas.

01202 602038

den.valentine@btinternet.com

For the first time in a number of years we will be missing some of our well known fleet members who were very regular competitors, and winners, in our racing fleet. Firstly, good luck to Graham Wallen and Andy Cake on what I hope will be a short leave of absence (see Baldricks Banter), before they are back racing with us in a couple of years time. Peter Harlow, a veritable living legend of our GP14 fleet, has sold his boat to Stuart Cutler and will be sailing his Phantom in the handicap class. Colin Ching has also sold his boat (shared with Steve Frost) and bought a Scow to sail at Christchurch.

Racing Gossip

I was born in Parkstone and my first ex-perience of sailing was on the "Pond", Poole Park Lake, where my grandfather was in charge of boat hire. Not a very successful first venture as I recall, my dagger-board stuck in the mud. Some years later my father bought a cabin cruiser which was moored at Burseldon. This was in the early days of the yards around Southampton and the Solent be-fore the big marinas of today and some of the facilities were very primitive. Never the less, we had some very enjoy-able holidays cruising often over to Cowes and the Medina river. It was how-ever a slow boat and would just about sail if we were going with the tide. We sold that boat and bought a converted life-boat moored on the river at Christ-church. My only memories of that boat are of being stuck on sandbanks. Later when the family moved to Fowey, Corn-wall, I had my first taste of real sailing, crewing a Wayfarer in several Regatta's. I then moved to Wells and being land-locked I joined Chew Valley Lake Sailing Club. My first boat was a Mirror rescued

from the beach at Fowey. I then had a brief spell in a Laser before I bought a Heron which I raced at several champi-onships. Having out-grown the Heron, I moved into my present GP14 Hoath Robinson. During my time at Chew, I also crewed in a Nicholson 35 which was raced in the Bristol channel but had a summer mooring at Saltash. I had a grand time in "Shipshape" cruising often to Brittany, the Scilly Isles and Ireland and two trips across the Bay of Biscay to Spain. About five years ago I started cruising in Poole harbour with a friend from Chew. His old GP14 is a boat well suited to the job, having stowage space for a kettle, a stove and everything nec-essary for beach picnics. The first time we landed at Bramble Bush beach was very nostalgic as most of my childhood holidays were spent there. The rest you probably know, I am now into my third year at Poole Yacht Club. Racing and cruising in the Harbour is "Paradise". Like Michael Palin I have gone full circle.

Philip Hoath - Poole GP14 Class Captain - my C.V.

FROM POND TO PARADISE

“How can you tell when a man is well hung?” Celia wondered. Alison said ... “It’s when you can barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose”

Bell Chimes March 2003 - Page 3

I had only developed the merest hint of self impor-tance when after the AGM I asked John Ballinger’s opin-ion. (ok, I should know bet-ter). “The best er-um talk I’ve heard for a long time” he said. That was bad enough, but I know every time he sees me now it’ll be “So er-um Dave, how the jolly well er-um, are you?”. But apart from 157 Er-um’s the meeting was surprisingly successful. My pessimistic ap-proach to the huge commitment of holding the ‘GP14 Nationals’ in 2005 was completely demolished by the un-opposed vote in favour of the event being held at Poole Yacht Club. I know that everyone who voted will back up their votes by offering substantial help

and backing to Barry when the time comes. For such a large undertaking, planning will need to start in the

near future. It’s only two years away. Like everyone else who knows nothing of what he is talking about I’ll resort to a cliché. Many hands make light work.

The second blow to my pes-simism came shortly after. I still cannot believe we have proposed and seconded elected Class Captains up to the year 2007 ! Well done to all concerned and many

thanks to Barry for taking on what should be a very exciting year. No one will argue that he’s not the best man for the job. Finally, I hope to pro-vide a draft format for our ‘Round Brownsea Island Team Race’ in the near future and everyone will be in-vited to comment

along with the sailors from the Welsh Harp.

AGM - November 6th 2002

Your GP14 Committee for this season is :-

Class Captain Philip Hoath

Vice Captain David Bracey

Next Captain Andy Welch

Results Sec. Tony Moore

Social Sec. Anne Short

Treasurer David Bracey.

The minutes are on the notice board but please

do not remove them

After years of talking about it, we finally got it together and went skiing. In time honoured fashion we went for “cheap and cheerful”, but it proved to be pretty enjoyable. The spread of experience was fairly wide from Sue and I, veterans of 18 ski trips to Gemma, Andy, Matt and Sarah all on their first time. Hero of the week was Andy Welch, who on the last day skied from the summit back to the apartment non-stop. Very impressive for a first timer. He also collects the award for wipe-out of the week for his full som-ersault and head plant whilst avoiding shouting “SH*T” as is only too commonly heard these days. Next year we hope to go to a more mainstream resort where Martin Murphy can achieve the compul-sory Irish duty of talking to at least 50 perfect strangers every day. Only an

Irishman could complain that a ski resort is too un-crowded! Keep your eyes open for details of next years trip. Oh and Sarah's car was written off on the way home, but I promised not to mention that Stuart was driving at the time, so I won’t.

A.G.M.

Anne Short was overheard asking Serina “What would she call a handcuffed man?”, she laughed ……. “Trustworthy”

GP Ski Trip By Barry Southam

Bell Chimes March 2003 - Page 4

W e l c o m e t o Hoath’s Hogwash. It was clear that David Boulton, our bar steward for the 2002 GP14 Dinner could recog-nise real creative inspira-tion when he saw it. As a completely unbiased mem-ber of the winning “Modelling Balloon Con-struction Team”, I have to agree. The creation of the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe, under the guid-ance of project directors Barry Southam and Tony Moore, was a triumph of teamwork, teamwork that was equally evident on all the tables and equally evi-dent that the evening was enjoyed by one and all. Many thanks must go to Celia and Den and all that helped to make our Dinner the success it undoubt-edly was. For those of you who missed it, and for those of you who didn't but would like a second rendition , my after dinner speech is included in this edition of Bell Chimes. No, no only joking, but admit it you were worried. However, I would like to reiterate the main thrust of what I said :- The Poole GP14 Class - a fantastic fleet - it's success being all those who sail in it and make it what it is.

BOAT NEWS It was recently reported that Tupperware Parties are now a thing of the past. This news does not seem to have filtered through to the Poole GP14 fleet as we now have three more plastic boats join-ing us for the forthcoming season. Den Valentine has an immaculate nearly new one, Steve Brown bought a Red one that is now white, taking an awful amount of Tippex ! and Ian Wall's new boat has what he describes as a functional finish. Matt Valentine will now be helming Chuckie and a warm welcome is ex-tended to Bob Cox who takes over Voodini.

HOATH'S TRIANGLES Pythagoras had his theory of squaring the hypotenuse on his right angled trian-gles. When we race, the course often consists of a triangle in one form or an-other, usually with a first leg beat. Hoath's triangles have no parameters. My favourite triangle (so far), is :- Haven to Pottery Pier, behind Brownsea to Bram-ble Bush Bay then back to the Haven. The variations are limitless, South Deep is

on my list this year. If you have similar cruising aspirations, I would love to hear them.

PUSHBALL Pushball is a game invented by M.G. Crane in 1894. It is played by two teams of eleven each side on a field 140 yards long by 50 yards wide. The ball weighs 5o lbs and is 6 feet in diameter. The goal consists of two uprights 18 ft high and 20 ft apart with a cross bar 7 ft from the ground. Scoring occurs when the ball passes between the posts or over the crossbar. Could this be a new game for our picnic ? Well that’s all the hogwash for this edi-tion. For the hardy, Sunday handicap racing starts on 9th March. Our Skittles and Prizegiving evening is on 29th March and the first series of GP14 class racing be-gins on Monday 31st March. See you at the skittles or on the water. Philip Hoath

HOATH’S HOGWASH

Anne Knill pondered “How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”. “Three” explained Jan Hine “One to

screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the SCREWING part”

Bell Chimes March 2003 - Page 5

FROM SHIP TO SHORE by DAVID THOMPSON

Where exactly did those familiar phrases

come from??

Common phrases in every day use have a

theme, the sea. These few familiar sayings

all come from a nautical background

Nippers – Dates back to the days of

sail when the large and cumbersome

anchor warps would not fit around a

capstan. To overcome this a messen-

ger line (continuous loop of small

diameter rope) was wound around the

capstan and the anchor warp attached

to it to allow the anchor to be

weighed. The people doing this were

the powder monkeys (usually children)

and they would “nip” the two ropes to-

gether, hence NIPPERS.

Son of a gun – This alludes to the fact that when

ships were in port women were allowed on-board,

as you can imagine many children resulted from

this, usually born in the lower “gun deck” hence

son of a gun.

Let the cat out of the bag – The cat o’nine tails

was usually kept in a red silk bag, not being re-

moved until the punishment was about to be ad-

ministered. Another familiar saying “not enough

room to swing a cat” comes from the fact that ships

had very low deckheads (ceilings) and so punish-

ment was usually administered above decks.

Chock-a-Block, - Chock-a-block is an old Naval

expression, meaning "Complete" or "Full up". It

derives from the use of a hauling tackle - when the

two blocks of the purchase were touching each

other the lower one could obviously be hoisted no

further, and so the work was completed. Modern

slang has corrupted the expression to "Chocker",

meaning "Fed up".

Port and Starboard - In the earliest ships there

was no rudder and the ship was steered by a

"Steer-board" (large oar or sweep) sited

over the right-hand side of the stern;

hence that side of the ship came to be

known as the Starboard side. The other

side of the ship was in consequence

used for going alongside for embark-

ing or disembarking cargo through the

'load ports'; the left hand side of the

ship therefore became known as the

"Loadboard" side, then "Larboard". As

the use of this latter word inevitably

caused confusion with the word Starboard,

the word Port came to be used instead.

Skipper - This word comes from the Dutch Schip-

per, meaning "Captain". It is used, as slang, refer-

ring to the Commanding Officer.

Touch and Go - An expression commonly used

to mean uncertainty. It is of maritime origin and

refers to a ship touching the sea-bottom and then

slipping off.

Swinging the lead – To mean an easy job or do-

ing very little, comes from the days when a lead

line was used to measure the depth, the person on

the lead line had a relatively easy job compared to

his companions working the sails etc.

Unfor tunate ly two of our num-ber are having a mid-life crisis and have succumbed to the lure of something called a 59-er. This, I am told is a modern design in the style of a skiff. Please don’t correct me or elaborate on this as I am to-tally uninterested. I am more concerned with the sad state of mind which has overcome Andy Cake and Graham Wallen and cause them to desert the wonderful GP14. I should have noticed the early tell-tale signs, admiring the young ladies trapezing by on the 420’s, buying the latest fashion of brightly coloured sail-

ing gear etc. etc. Still I suppose if you race in a fleet of one you must win. Can I ask if any one else experiences similar feelings to please contact me, I can recommend an excellent psychologist.

BALDRICKS BANTER

Linda Carswell wanted to know why men whistled when they’re sitting on the toilet. “It’s obvious” said Maggs “It helps them remember which end they need to wipe”

Bell Chimes March 2003 - Page 6

The Hamworthy Club

Magna Road, Canford Magna

Saturday 29th March 2003 7.00 p.m.

Skittles £2 a head – Food must be ordered in advance

SEND NO MONEY

POST your order by 21st March to DAVID BRACEY

Sandy Lodge, 43 St. Osmunds Road

Lower Parkstone, Poole BH14 9JU Tel: (01202) 721555

FREE

RAFFLE PRIZES

GP14 SAILING CALENDAR 2003

March 31 Mon First Monday evening race – Start time 18.33 April 3 Thur First Thursday evening race – Start time 18.39 May 18 Sun Bar Buoy Race – Start time 10.57 June 15 Sun Round the Harbour Islands – Start time 10.57 June 22 Sun The Studland Race – Start time 10.57

JULY 5 Sat Poole Yacht Club Regatta – Please Enter ! JULY 6 Sun

July 13 Sun The Bournemouth Pier Race – Start time 10.57

JULY 19 SAT The Combined Dayboat Open and The Mirror Southern JULY 20 SUN Area Championship – GP officiating – All hands on deck!

AUG 2 SAT OUR GP14 OPEN WEEKEND – Please Enter ! AUG 3 SUN Team Racing on Saturday – 3 race OPEN - Sunday

Aug 10 Sun Multiclass Fun Race – Start time 10.57 Aug 24 Sun The Swanage Race – Start time 10.57 Aug 30 SAT The Wareham Race – Saturday – Start time 10.42

Sept 8 Mon Last Monday evening race Sept 11 Thur Last Thursday evening race Sat 20 Sept Lilliput Regatta – GP14 Open & Regatta week-end Sun 21 Sept Autumn series of 7 consecutive races – Start time 10.57 Sun 9 Nov Winter series of 6 consecutive Sundays – Start time 10.51 To be arranged – The GP Picnic today - Other races 10.54

GP14 Skittles EVENINGand

PRIZEGIVING for the 2002 season