Parent & Family Magazine Volume 3/ Issue 2

The TCU Parent & Family Magazine is a publication from

Student Development Services in the Division of Student Affairs at

Texas Christian University.

2901 Stadium Drive Brown-Lupton University Union

Suite 2003 Fort Worth, TX 76129

www.parents.tcu.eduparents@tcu.edu

817-257-7855

TCU Mission:To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and

responsible citizens in the global community.

TCU Vision:To be a world-class, values-centered

university.

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November/December 2015Contents:

Kay’s ColumnA Message from the Director of Parent & Family Programs

Fall to Spring Room Change

7 Reasons To Tell Your Kid To Get Out Of Town

C/RAs are Important People

F.A.Q.TCU Families’ Most Frequently Asked Alcohol-Related Questions, Answered

Your Student, Transitioning Through College

Parent & Family MagazineGreetings!

As I write to you, your sons and daughters are in their last few days of classes, before finals be-gin. Their conversations are about how many exams each person has, which is the hardest, etc. Even the very ex-perienced students get butterflies this time of year!

Following finals most of our students will be leaving campus for part or all of the winter holiday (December 19 – January 10). University Offices will be closed beginning on December 24, 2015 and will reopen on Monday, January 4, 2016. (Anyone who has an emergency and needs to speak with a staff person during the holiday, may contact the Campus Police 24/7 at 817/257.7777.) Classes will begin for spring semester on Monday, January 11, 2016.

You will find very helpful information enclosed if your son/daughter is living on-campus and planning to make a change in his/her housing assignment. The details were sent to students several weeks ago, but we wanted you to know them, as well.

For students interested in a leadership position on campus, there are many!

•Resident Assistant (RA) applications are available now. The RA application deadline is January 15, 2016. More information about the position is included in the magazine.

•The deadline for submitting an applica-tion for Connections Mentor, Frog Camp Facilita-tor, and/or Frogs First Leader is January 19. In-formation about the position and the application can be located at www.sds.tcu.edu. Should your student have any problems with the application please contact the staff at sds@tcu.edu.

If your son/daughter talks about “taking a trip,” encourage him/her to check-out the TCU Outdoor Programs Center in the University Recreation

Department. Tobi Carter, a senior Journalism stu-dent has written an interesting article, “7 reasons to tell you kids to get out of town!” You will want to go!

Every two years TCU participates in the CORE Survey along with many other universities in the country. This information allows us to learn more about our students’ beliefs and behaviors re-garding the use of alcohol. In this article you will learn the answers to questions that you probably have wondered since your son/daughter started college.

If you are a novice at “welcoming your student home for the holidays,” please remember each of you may have different expectations about the holiday. Annie Bures has included some excellent advice in the First Year Experience column in the Transitions section of the magazine. Don’t miss it!

The winter holiday is a much-anticipated time for students, parents, and other family members. I promise you, your students are as thrilled to be home for the holidays as you are to have them there. Don’t let a few differences in expectations destroy a fabulous reunion.

Oh yes, since the break continues into January let me also remind you: If your son or daughter starts talking about “going home,” meaning “re-turning to campus,” please don’t get your feelings hurt. While students love their friends and will miss them over the break, never doubt that YOU are still their home. However, they are beginning to live the reality that one can have more than one physical and emotional home. When that son/daughter is 35 years old, with a spouse, five chil-dren, 4 dogs, a bird, and an iguana you will want that lesson to have been learned NOW!

For those students in their second year of college, we highly encourage the Sophomore Getaway. We like to describe it as Frog Camp for sophomores. It’s designed to be a spring board for the rest of their time at TCU and focuses on goal setting, resilience, mental toughness, building and main-taining friendships/relationships with time built in for relaxing, bonding, eating good food and spending time reflecting on the past and planning for the future. The cost is $175 and fee waivers

and sponsorship opportunities are available. Finances should absolutely not be a reason why a student misses out on this program! Have your student reach out for financial assistance: sds@tcu.edu.

Finally, for seniors transitioning to graduation, Chuck Dunning has included a great checklist of things to do. (For December grads, do not forget the Senior Toast on December 16!) The remain-ing topics address May 2016 graduates. Read and Get Involved!

If you are the family of the several hundred stu-dents who are graduating on December 19, 2015, we wish you and your student joy and happiness. Remember that you are all permanent members of the TCU family. Should your student need the services of the Center for Career and Professional Development, it is only a phone call or website away. Alumni, parents, and friends continue to participate in watch parties, attend games and other events throughout the country. I hope we see each other along the way!

Finally, I do hope that your family has a wonder-ful holiday together. This is a very special time of year. It is not about a big vacation. It is not about receiving everything on one’s list. It is not about having the most talked-about holiday party in town. It is about family and friends caring for one another. And it can be about taking time to remember those who have neither family nor friends, and in some cases, neither food nor shel-ter. It is about living in gratitude.

I am grateful to you and for you. TCU parents are the best!

Joy to you!

Go Frogs!

Kay Higgins, Ph.D. Associate Dean of Student Development Services and Director of Parent and Family Programs

Fall to Spring Room Change Info Previously Sent to Students

Your Fall room assignment and meal plan will automatically rollover to the Spring. If you wish to keep your current assignment and meal plan, there is nothing you need to do.

If you wish to request a room change for the Spring:• Email housing@tcu.edu with your name, TCU ID# and hall(s) request. All roommate requests must be mutual; therefore, we must receive an email from each of you.• We will notify you on/before Friday, December 11 if your request has been approved. • You will move to your new room between Saturday, December 19 and Monday, December 21 (If your room is available before this time, your Hall Director will notify you).• If you are moving to a Greek Chapter Facility, you will move on Saturday, December 19 and Sun day, December 20. (Winter Break Housing is not available in the Greek Chapter Facilities.) You can return to your room beginning at 9:00am on Saturday, January 9.• If you must leave before your new room is ready, you must check out of your Fall room and make arrangements for storage (a list of storage facilities can be found here: www.rlh.tcu.edu/local-storage.asp). • If these steps are not followed, you may lose your desired room and/or receive a fine.

If you wish to change your meal plan for the Spring:• Email housing@tcu.edu with your name, TCU ID# and meal plan selection.• Your Fall Campus Cash & Frog Bucks will rollover and then your new Spring balances will be used.

If you need Winter Break Housing:• There is no charge for Winter Break Housing; however, we ask that you register if you will be on-campus at any point during that time.• Winter Break Housing is not available in the Greek Chapter Facilities.• The registration link will be available on my.tcu.edu November 1 – 30 under Timely Links.

If you are not returning to TCU or you are participating in a Study Away program for Spring 2016:• Email housing@tcu.edu with your name, TCU ID# and reason for cancellation. • You must check out of your room before 10:00am (CST) on Saturday, December 19. • Students leaving belongings in the room after this date will be charged for Spring 2016 hous-ing.

If you are Graduating:• Email housing@tcu.edu with your name, TCU ID# and confirmation of your graduation. • You must check out of your room before 10:00am (CST) on Sunday, December 20. • Sign up in your hall office for a checkout appointment.

We hope you enjoy the remainder of your Fall semester. If you have questions about the Fall to Spring room change process you may visit our office, located in the garden level of Pamela & Edward Clark Hall in Worth Hills, or contact us at (817)257-7865 or housing@tcu.edu.

By Tobi Carter, Senior Journalism major Manager of Social Media and Marketing for the TCU Outdoor Center

Admit it: You want to tell your kids to get out of town. But at the same time, you want them to get out of town safely and have fun. Knowing college kids means that one of these things isn’t going to happen. What’s the best way to combine all the aspects? Going on a ski trip with the TCU Outdoor Center, of course!

The trip is from Jan. 4-9, 2016 in Angel Fire, New Mexico. The cost ranges anywhere from $485-850, depending on how many people decide they want to join the party. For this cost, students will receive transportation from TCU to Angel Fire, lodging, breakfast and dinner, and 3 lift tickets. Ski lessons and rentals are not included.

Here are 7 reasons why you should tell your kids to get out of town with the Outdoor Center:

1) They’ll get exercise.College kids aren’t known for their exceptional eating habits. However, skiing is a great way to burn some calories while having fun. Moderate downhill skiing burns about 400 calories per hour. Multiply that by the number of hours skiing and the number of days there and that’s a lot of calories.

2) They’ll make new friends.Cue the Girl Scouts song: “Make new friends, but keep the old.” The trip is for members of the TCU community to go out and enjoy nature while making new friends. TCU non-affiliates are also welcome at a little bit of a price increase. This is a great way for people to get to know each other, especially for the first-year students who still aren’t sure they are connected to the TCU community.

3) They’ll make new memories.Ski trip is seen as an essential of the college experience. What better way to enjoy college than to go skiing with some friends? And at the discounted price, it’s a bargain! Your son/daughter may not be the best skier there ever was, but he/she will definitely remember falling out of the ski lift and laugh at that moment.

7 Reasons to Tell Your Kids to Get Out of Town

4) They’ll won’t need their “summer bod”.As mentioned earlier, college kids don’t have healthy eating habits. Everything is caffeinated and sugary to help students stay up all night studying. However, kids don’t need their “summer bod” anymore because they’re wearing a ski suit. Who cares what the other person looks like? You don’t have to look cute. You just have to look warm.

5) There are no speed limits.Our motto at the Outdoor Center is “challenge by choice.” This means that the participants pushes themselves to their own limit and will not be forced by other participants or leaders to do any more than they can handle. Want to go down a black? Go for it! Want to stay on the bunny slope? Go for it! Participants can go at their own speed without fear that someone will judge them.

6) They’ll get to hang out with cool people.Our leaders are trained in Wilderness First Aid and CPR. Our leaders are also pretty cool - they like to hang out and do outdoorsy things. They are fully competent and will ensure that your student is having fun while staying safe at the same time. We’re like the moms of the group. We tell participants to put their gloves on and keep them on.

7) They’ll get to explore new places.Angel Fire, New Mexico is a beautiful place. It’s known for its vividly colored sunsets and ski slopes. Angel Fire is located in a valley about 8,400 feet above sea level. It’s located between the mountains of Mount Baldy and Wheeler Peak (the highest mountain in New Mexico). There will be an abundance of scenery to enjoy while exploring.

The deadline to sign up for this once-in-a-lifetime trip is Dec. 9 at 6 p.m. There is a $300 deposit due upon registration. Students can put the charge on their student account, a credit card or pay with cash.

Tell your kids to get out of town!

7 Reasons to Tell Your Kids to Get Out of Town

C/RAs are Important PeopleImani Wimberly, Moncrief Hall Director

Come in close, I’ve got a secret for you. We know the saying, “parents know best” isn’t just something you tell your student to get them to do chores. It’s a universal truth and we are banking on the fact that you again know best. Resident Assistants (RAs) are undergraduate leaders who are responsible for building relationships with students who live on campus. This position exists in on-campus Greek housing as well, these students are called Chapter Resident Assistants (CRAs). C/RAs create living environments that contribute to successful educational and residential experiences for students. If your student has the ability to communicate, em-braces responsibility, seeks ways to help others, and is familiar with TCU, then we urge you to urge him/her to apply to be a C/RA for the 2016-2017 school year. The position entails 15 hours of work a week and the compensation includes a room and a meal plan. If you think your student would excel in this position, please encourage him/her to apply- after all, you’re the parent and parents know best.

The application is due by January 15th and can be accessed through the Housing and Res-idence Life dropdown on the student’s my.tcu.edu (the exact same way he/she applied for housing).

F.A.Q.TCU families’ most frequently asked alcohol-related questions answered

By Tiara Nugent, Program Director of TCU’s The Bottom Line

Can Elizabeth Keen of NBC’s The Blacklist prove her innocence? Will Alex Parish live to uncover the master-mind behind the New York attack in Quantico? Do Grey’s Anatomy fans (bless their broken, faithful hearts) get to witness a Jolex wedding?

We might be waiting until January and February to find out the answers to television’s most riveting cliff-hangers, but fortunately your queries about alcohol and the collegiate life aren’t destined for delay. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, your frequently asked questions and answers.

Do all college students really drink? Popular stereotypes may portray every college student partying with copious amounts of alcohol, but the truth is that not all college students drink alcohol.

To determine current use among students, TCU collaborates with the CORE Institute of Southern Illinois Univer-sity Carbondale to biannually conduct an online survey measuring actual alcohol and other drug use as well as students’ attitudes and perceptions of use and consequences of use. Students’ participation in the survey is both voluntary and anonymous and their response generally aligns with national trends.

Courtesy of TCU’s 2015 CORE Survey, here are some statistics to show the reality of TCU’s alcohol use: • Approximately 75 percent of TCU students have used alcohol in the past month (60 percent of First- Year students have done so). • On average, over 60 percent of First-Year students drink less than five drinks per occasion. • The average number of drinks per week consumed by TCU students is four. (First-Year students’ average is 3.5 drinks per week). • One out of four (25 percent) TCU students (and 35 percent of First-Year students) would prefer NOT to have alcohol available at parties they attend. • Over 80 percent of TCU students choose not to drink and drive!

One in every four students doesn’t drink at all. So the notion that “everyone does it” and that “you have to drink to fit in” – well, we just squashed it.

What should my student do if he/she is concerned about a roommate’s use of alcohol?Anytime a student feels consistent concern for another student’s wellbeing, that concern should be shared. If your student comes to you worried about a roommate – or friend’s— use of alcohol, ask your student about spe-cific incidents that prompted the concern. This will help you gauge what is really going on and help your student organize his or her thoughts for a conversation with the person.

Encourage your student to talk to the roommate (or friend – we’ll use a roommate for an example) using the fol-lowing steps: • Set a time to sit and talk privately. The roommate might agree and sit down right away, or he or she might ask to schedule another time. Be flexible but remain firm that the talk needs to happen. • Convey concern for the roommate’s well-being with specific statements at the beginning of the con versation. For example, you might say “I want to talk to you because I am worried about you,” or “Your friendship and personal success means a lot to me. I don’t like to see what’s been happening lately. It scares me.”

• Discuss the negative consequences of your roommate’s drinking or drug use, re-emphasizing your concern. Use concrete examples from your list. You might say something like, “At the party Saturday night I was there watching while you threw up. Then next day you were too hung over to write your paper. It makes me sad that alcohol has affected your wellbeing.” • Restrict comments to what you feel and what you have experienced regarding your roommate’s be havior. Observations such as “Everyone’s scared for you,” or, “Mark thinks you have a real problem,” will probably lead to arguments about who “everyone” is or Mark’s problems and distract from the point of the conversation. • Encourage the roommate to consult with a professional to talk about his/her alcohol use. Give him/her contact information for TCU’s Alcohol & Drug Education department. You can offer to find out more about available resources or walk with him/her to an appointment.

If your student is still unsure if the concern is valid, still unsure of what to say, or feels the need to talk to someone on campus about how the roommate’s use may be affecting multiple lives, give a reminder that TCU’s Alcohol & Drug Education department is a resource for all. While some may think that a visit to Alcohol & Drug Education happens only as mandated by violation sanctions, students also visit the office to acquire support for an addiction or recovery, receive assistance with class projects and to discuss concerns about friends.

I’ve heard about some of your educational programs – they seem to actually give tips to drinking. Why are you encouraging students to drink when it’s illegal if they are under 21? TCU never encourages any student – of or below legal age – to drink alcohol. The legal age to buy and consume alcohol in Texas is 21 and university policies fully support that law.

At the same time, we understand from the data listed above that many of our students choose to drink anyway. Because our goal first and foremost is that students stay safe and because the university recognizes that stu-dents make their own decisions about alcohol and other drugs, TCU Alcohol & Drug Education conducts educa-tional programs in the residence halls, for student organizations and for the campus at-large that bust myths and present the facts of alcohol use as well as give tips on how, if a student is going to choose to drink, to drink re-sponsibly and safely. Through these programs, we hope to empower all our students to make the best decisions for their lives as well as be prepared to look out for the safety of others around them.

What’s the best thing I can do to support my student making responsible, healthy choices?As the holidays approach and you’re back under one roof with your student, be extra aware of your activities and the messages they may send. If you consume alcohol, set a good example and drink responsibly. If you serve it to guests this holiday season, encourage your guests to display responsible behavior as well. Never serve alco-hol to your student’s underage friends and be mindful of how your attitudes and behavior toward underage and binge drinking may influence your student. Also avoid making jokes about underage drinking or drunkenness, or otherwise showing indirect approval of underage and/or excessive alcohol use.

Most importantly, don’t let alcohol ever be a taboo subject. Check in with your student about what he/she may have seen or heard about alcohol this semester. Discuss his/her reaction to these incidents and encourage ques-tions. Avoid telling your student what to do or not do; instead, engage in discussions that assist your student in evaluating choices, risks, benefits and possible outcomes. Be sure to praise the smart decisions your student has made, and remind him/her that whether one room or ten states away, you are always there to talk.

Have another alcohol or drug-related question you would like answered here? Email Tiara at t.nugent@tcu.edu._________________________________________________________________________________________If you, your student or a friend needs help with alcohol or issues related to any other drug, reach out for help. TCU’s Alcohol & Drug Education staff is a resource on campus and may be reached by phone at 817.257.7100 or in office in the basement of Samuelson Hall.

Your Student, Transitioning Through CollegeStudent Development in the First, Middle, and Senior years at TCU

Class of 2019 The First–Year Experience TCU students are getting ready for a well-deserved break from school work this holiday season. A student’s first long break back home can be an exciting but uncertain time. Family members’ expectations of how their students will spend time over the holidays do not always match reality. Parents often feel frustrated when their students are out late or elect to spend time with high school friends over family. Balancing family tradition with new found independence can be challenging for first year students.

Here are a few simple tips for a seamless winter break:

• Let your student know of any obligations before he/she arrives home. Maybe it is a simple family dinner or an annual holiday party – just be sure to give him/her notice. TCU is teaching students to manage their schedules so let them continue to plan ahead over the holidays. Alerting students to events you expect them to attend while at home can help them to understand when it is appropriate to spend time away from the family and when it is not.

• Don’t forget to include your Horned Frog in family traditions—even the ones you think he or she may have outgrown. Students sometimes return home for the first time to find the lights are already strung or the tree is already up and decorated. This is a bit like coming home to find your bedroom has been turned into an office. Including your son or daughter in these traditions can help your student remember he/

she still has a place at home.

• Yes, grades are important, but don’t forget to talk to your student about how he/she is connecting to campus and getting involved. First year students may not be interested in having the “What is your major?” conversation with every extended family member or holiday guest. Help him/her navigate this situation by turning the conversation to other on-campus activities. Allow students to share how they have impacted the TCU community or how it has impacted them.

The best way to ensure a stress free holiday season is to keep an open dialogue and communicate your expectations with your student. Remember, he/she may even have some expectations for you! Keeping everyone in the conversation will help your family spend devoted time together without making your student feel stifled.

Class of 2018 & 2017The Sophomore & Junior–Year Experience

A great deal of attention is given to students in their first year of college, and for many good reasons. The adjustment to a new environment and college life can be quite challenging. But what about the second and third years of college? We sometimes refer to these as the “wandering years” of college. The newness and excitement of the first year gives way to the realities of majors, responsibilities, and, yes, the looming prospect of future employment in the “real world.”

In the middle years

of college, students are engaged in a process of exploration—specifically, moving from random exploration to a more narrow and focused exploration of options and opportunities (Schaller, 2005). Ideally, their attention is increasingly drawn to a smaller number of commitments that are congruent with who they understand themselves to be. Among the many developmental tasks in the middle years of college certainly include the following:

• deepening relationships with selected peers, staff, and faculty who accompany them on their journey; • discovering and naming what’s important to them and how that fits into an emerging identity;• wrestling with questions of purpose, passion, major, and career; • developing personal competence, a sense of autonomy, and becoming at home in the world.

In an attempt to help second-year students reflect on these areas of growth and effectively move through them, Student Development Services has created Sophomore Getaway. Sophomore Getaway is an off-campus retreat experience designed to help second-year students explore issues of purpose, identity, and life direction with peers and faculty/staff guides over a two-and-a-half day period. Personal reflection, small-group experiences, and large group teaching sessions form the backbone of this informal, yet intentional experience.

Below are relevant details about this great opportunity for your second-year student:

•Dates: January 16-18, 2016•Location: Camp Hoblitzelle in Midlothian, TX•Cost: $175 by check or credit/debit card online or cash (fee waivers of $100 available, students can also solicit sponsorships from organizations or departments on campus)•Registration and payments due

Annie Bures, Coordinator of the First Year Experience, Student Development Services

Keri Cyr, M.Ed., Director of the Sophomore & Junior Year Experience, Student Development Services

Class of 2016The Senior Year Experience

Putting the Spring in Seniors’ Steps

Seniors have a number of options to use the spring semester for completing the undergrad experience and preparing for the future.

One Million Reasons: This TCU Financial Literacy program is designed to help students understand basic money management skills such as budgeting, credit, investments, and debt. Spring semester programs include: Consumer Awareness & Bargains (Jan 27), Credit Bureaus & Insurance (Feb 10), Investments (Feb 24), and Retirement, Savings Plans & Real Estate (Mar 23). Learn more here: http://sds.tcu.edu/students/financial-literacy/

Last Lecture Series (Jan 28, Feb 11, Mar 1, Apr 14): Each month, seniors recognize and honor a professor they have selected to present lectures on a self-selected topic. After each lecture, the honored professor meets with students in a casual reception. All students are welcome to attend.

Senior Speak-Up (Apr 6): In this prestigious program, five seniors nominated by TCU faculty, staff, and peers provide presentations on topics of their choice. Because this program is also meant to bring together seniors and first-year students, presenters’ topics are also of interest and value to first-year students.

Senior Toast & Fiesta (Dec 16 for Fall Grads, May 4 for Spring Grads): A fun and very popular TCU tradition in which seniors have dinner with the Chancellor, receive a toast from him, and learn about programs and services for young alumni. Includes a huge selection of valuable door prizes!

Commencement (Dec 19 for fall, May 7 for spring): That long awaited and much anticipated moment! The best time for seniors to start getting prepared is now, and the best place is here: http://www.commencement.tcu.edu/

Get more information and see the entire Senior Must-Do List here: http://sds.tcu.edu/students/senior/senior-must-do-list/

For assistance with making the most of the senior year and accessing relevant resources on campus, your senior is welcome to contact Chuck Dunning at 817-257-5152, or c.dunning@tcu.edu.

Chuck Dunning, M.A., Director of the Senior Experience, Student Development Services

December 18, 2015•More information and sign up at www.sds.tcu.edu

Texas Christian University2800 South University Drive Fort Worth, TX 76129

www.tcu.edu

Our Mission: To educate individuals to think and act as ethical leaders and

responsible citizens in the global community.