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Stop fighting your thoughts – five simple ways in five minutes!
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Transcript of Stop fighting your thoughts – five simple ways in five minutes!
Stop fighting your thoughts –Five simple ways in five minutes
I know that feeling all too well: the one where you are trying to
deal with your negative thoughts and the more you try to ‘stay
positive’ the worse it is! Before you know it you’re in a black
mood and feeling low.
Can anything help shift these mind gremlins or are you
destined to fight them forever?
The good news is that there is a lot you can do to help yourself.
At first I was sceptical and went off in search of a magic pill or
potion that would just take the black feelings away – I was
constantly looking outside of myself for the answers. Then I
discovered hypnotherapy and from that I developed my interest
in meditation. This too became a passion; for the last 3 years I
have been learning more and more about how I can use
meditation practice in my life; I have noticed powerful and
profound results: I am calmer, less prone to stress and manage
to avoid the ‘black dog’ of low mood so that I only occasionally
have black moments whereas before my practice I would have
black months!
According to Jon KabatZinn, a scientist and meditation teacher
who developed MindfulnessBased Stress Reduction, there are
seven attitudes that form the foundation of mindfulness
practice: “non judging, patience, beginner’s mind, trust,
nonstriving, acceptance and letting go.”
I like to use the following within my meditation classes:
Patience: being patient toward yourself and your body when it
becomes restless during meditation; sending gratitude to your
body is a must – I often say this to clients who are looking to
shed weight, how do you expect your body to work with you if
you don’t thank it?
Being Present: paying attention to each moment and to your
breathing as though you’re doing it for the first time, so that
you’re curious and welcoming about what you are sensing.
Compassion: be kind to yourself: silence the inner critic and
have compassion for who you are. Basically, give yourself a
break, you are only human.
Acceptance: sometimes we run a film or soundtrack in our
head of how we would like things to be and then get upset or
agitated when life throws difficulties in our way. Accept the
things you can’t change and focus on the things you can be
responsible for.
Letting go: similar to acceptance not fighting or going after
something that comes into your awareness, not labelling a
thought as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
Do I have to meditate every day?
There is no rule that says you have to meditate every day
however I think many people find it a ‘need’ to rather than a
‘want’. I find that I get the best solutions to my problems and
issues when I have been in meditation even for five minutes,
this little break away from the world is worth the investment it
brings. The more you get re connected to your inner wisdom,
the more you will want to spend time in meditation whether
walking the dog or relaxing by the fire. Meditation is a bit like
taking a shower; you can’t just do it once and expect the results
to last!
Do I have to meditate in a dark room with a candle?
No candles required I promise! That said, you can meditate in a
nice bubble bath and have a fragrant candle on the side if that’s
your thing. Interestingly many clients I work with actually go out
for a walk listening to their guided meditation through
headphones – there is no ‘right’ way to find your inner peace
and relaxation.
If like me you enjoy a lie down on the sofa or upstairs in your
room away from the kids and the dogs (well sometimes the
dogs come too!) here are Five Easy to Use techniques to help
you to beat stress and feel much better in just five minutes,
mind you, I think you will love them so much you will want to
spend longer!
1. One Minute Breathing
This exercise can be done anywhere at any time, standing up or
sitting down. All you have to do is focus on your breath for just
one minute. Start by breathing in and out slowly, holding your
breath for a count of six once you’ve inhaled. Then breathe out
slowly, letting the breath flow effortlessly out back into the
atmosphere.
Naturally your mind will try and wander, just accept that it’s ok,
that is what minds were designed to do! Simply notice these
thoughts, let them be for what they are and return to watching
your breath.
Pay attention to your breath with your senses as it enters your
body and fills you with life, and then watch it work its way up
and out of your body as the energy moves out into the universe.
If you’re someone who thought they’d never be able to
meditate, guess what? You’re half way there already! If you
enjoyed one minute of this mindcalming exercise, why not try
five!
2. A Game of Fives
This is a mindful meditation practice you can do when you are
walking! All you have to do is take Five minutes and connect to
five things in your day that usually go unnoticed and
unappreciated. These could be things you hear, smell, feel or
see.
For example, might see the walls of your lounge, hear the birds
in the tree outside in the morning, feel your clothes on your
skin as you walk to work, or smell the flowers in the park, but
are you truly aware of these things and the connections they
have with the world?
– Are you aware of how these things really benefit your life and
the lives of others?
– Do you really know what these look and sound like?
– Have you ever noticed their finer, more intricate details?
– Have you thought about what life might be without these
things?
– Have you thought about how amazing these things are?
Let your creative mind explore the wonder, impact and
possibilities these usually unnoticed things; allow yourself to
fall awake into the world and fully experience the environment.
3. The Body Scan
Find a time and place where you will not be disturbed. In
class we will do around 5 10 minutes.
Turn off your mobile and congratulate yourself for making an
investment in your time; give yourself permission to ‘let go’
and ‘fall awake’.
Lying down on a mat or a firm bed, or sitting in a chair: let
your body relax into the floor, bed or chair, but maintaining an
‘alert’ position. You may want to get a blanket to cover
yourself with.
Relaxing your shoulders, take a few deep breaths, letting
your arms lie by your sides; gently closing your eyes.
Squeezing all your muscles as tightly as you can – your facial
muscles, eyes, mouth, hands, arms, abdomen, buttocks,
pelvic floor, your legs, feet and any other muscle you identify
– as tightly as you can – squeezing and relaxing.
Start at your feet, turning your attention to each bone you are
aware of, muscles, tendons; flexing and relaxing in turn;
wiggling toes and rotating ankles if required; simply being
aware of what you notice. What bodily sensations are there?
Tightness? Heat? Cold? Tingling?
Can you feel anything touching your feet?
Kindness – Curiosity – Compassion - Acceptance
Move on from your feet to your ankles, what can you feel? Do
you notice any other sensations? Try to avoid labelling
sensations as ‘good’ or ‘bad’
Allow yourself to be as curious as you can be about what is
there.
When you are ready move up to your calves – be curious
about each sensation. Thank your body.
When you are ready slowly move to each part in turn..knees,
thighs, pelvic area, buttocks, abdomen, chest and hands
(including your finger tips and thumbs) your arms, shoulders,
head finishing off with your jaw.
If your mind wanders during this exercise that’s fine –
there’s no need to judge or analyse, evaluate or beat
yourself up – just notice and gently bring your mind back
to the practice.
Congratulate yourself for noticing that your mind has
wandered – it is what minds do after all.
Just notice what you notice...without judgement...just be
curious. Notice what your conscious mind is producing in the
way of ‘story’:
“I knew I should have gone to the gym...” “I knew I should have
walked more today...”
“I wonder If I am relaxed enough...” “It’s not working...I’m too
tense...bored...worried about that other thing...”
“I thought I was tired...they’re working me too hard...I should
have said ‘no’ and meant it...” “
Why am I spending time doing this when there are jobs to be
done...” and on and on.
Just notice the soundtrack without becoming involved.
You may notice emotions carried in certain parts of your
body...just allow them to come and go, rise, shift and dissolve
or change and fade away.
When you are ready...come back into the room. Make notes if
you wish.
Close your eyes and visualize yourself at the beach, sitting
on the warm sands, with a refreshing sea breeze sprinkling
your whole body. You are safe and secure. You are watching
the waves drift in and out, over and over again. Each wave is
like your breath, rising up inside from deep within and then
releasing and returning out to sea.
What do you notice about the surface of the ocean? It’s
much like your life — some parts are rough, choppy, with
impending waves of uncertainty pounding away. Breathe in
these moments that are challenging and upsetting.
Remember that you have the stability and strength to
weather the storm, on the outbreath, breathe out anxiety
Notice what’s happening below the surface of the ocean? It
is calm and serene – you may notice your thoughts, like the
schools of fish darting to and fro – that’s fine, just let them.
Notice yourself feeling calmer as you absorb the essence
sunlight refracting through the aqua marine water,
transmitting warmth and radiance into the core of your being.
Depending on what life throws your way, you may be body
surfing or floating along on a sea of calm. Be mindful of the
journey, the highs and lows, the good times and the bad, the
joy and the pain. Move gently with each wave and drift with
the ocean swell.
When you’re ready, bring your attention back to where you
are.
4. Ocean of Tranquility
Take a breath in for the count of 4.
Close your eyes if you wish or gaze gently downwards.
Imagine your brain ‘dropping’ into just behind your belly
button.
Move your feet to hip width apart – notice how ‘long’ your
legs feel. Thank them for supporting you.
Imagine the colour red moving strongly down from your waist
through your thighs into your legs and down into your feet,
through the floor and down to the centre of the earth. Feel the
sense of ‘Groundedness’.
Imagine you connect to the greater wisdom of trees with
strong roots and the ability to weather storms; you are strong.
Hunch your shoulders then give them permission to just
relax. Move your jaw around so that it too relaxes.
Now imagine an Ultra Violet Light moving from your waist up
through the centre of your body, through your solar plexus,
up through your neck and your head – this beam of light
connecting you to the top of the Universe and the clear skies.
Feel the sense of ‘Openness’.
Now...tune in to your deeper self. Breathe in and tune into
what matters to you now in the moment. Focus on the centre
point of your breath.
Add some ‘energy cleaning movements’ if you feel so inclined
Imagine clearing toxic energies and being present.
Wiggle fingers and toes to break state & come back to room.
5. Grounding Technique
Move gently into a standing position.
From Chaos to Calm
Many people in the West think that meditation is weird or a waste
of time. Some think it is a practice done by religious fanatics and
those who have cut themselves off from normal society. Clients
who enjoy my mindfulness and meditation classes know how I
love the power of stories to heal and teach. My story is to show
you that meditation can be a part of normal life; to this end I
leave you with a lovely story told in the voice of Guptananda, an
old Indian Guru.
Mother’s Quiet Time
When I was a child and my father worked in the temple, my
mother, my brother, my sister and I would be at home. Mother
had several servants who helped with the work in the house
and garden, and who looked after the animals. Every day
mother would have a meeting with the servants before they
started their work. We children would still be in bed, but
sometimes if I got up early I would see them all sitting down
outside in our courtyard.
Mother would greet them all with “namaste” and bow her head
and they would also bow, then they would all sit in silence for a
few minutes. They would close their eyes and no one would
speak. The silent period would be ended with the ringing of a
little bell, which my mother always had with her. It was the
same bell she used to summon the servants when she needed
help. After ringing the bell my mother would tell each person
what she wanted him or her to do that day and would ask if
they had anything to say. Sometimes they brought up problems
they were having with some aspect of the work, but usually
they would just bow and smile and thank God for being healthy
and strong and for the gift of another new day. Thus it was in
our house, peaceful and contented.
However, one week when my mother’s sister came to stay I
remember Mother decided not to have the morning
meditations. Her sister was about to give birth and had come
to us for her confinement. Mother told the servants briefly what
to do at the beginning of each day and listened to their
problems, but had no quiet period before the start of the
working day.
What a terrible week that was! Everyone seemed to be
arguing with everyone else. Nothing was going right. My
mother forgot to buy the dahl (lentils) at the market so we all
had to eat nothing but chapatis (bread) and some tired
vegetables. Mother was so preoccupied with her sister that
she seemed to forget about us. This was to be my Aunt’s first
baby so this was a very big event for her. Meanwhile my
brother fell off the horse and broke his arm and my sister
nearly fell down the well! Two narrow planks of wood, which
had been carelessly placed over it, saved her. She was very
shocked. Mother blamed the servants for not covering the well
properly, but I knew it had been me. I was to blame. I had
been watering the animals, drawing the water up with a bucket
when Raja had bolted. I hastily threw two pieces of wood over
the brick work hole and chased after my horse. After several
days everyone was extremely irritable and exhausted and my
father couldn’t understand what had come over his family.
“Surely your sister is not so important that she be allowed to
upset all the family and servants with her new baby, which
isn’t even born yet?”
Then my mother explained how she had stopped organizing
a quiet period at the beginning of the day because of being
so busy.“Ah, I see the problem now,” said father.” Everyone
thinks they are so busy that they have no time to sit and
reflect on the day, on their work and on God’s gifts. Well
you see what happens when we don’t spare ourselves just
a few minutes of peace – we get chaos. Surely we can find
five or ten minutes at the beginning of the day to be calm
and thoughtful and to ask the Lord what it is that we need to
know and do each day?
In future let my family return to its previous ways and the
baby will be born into an atmosphere of calmness and
contentment rather than one of anger and chaos!”
I hope you have enjoyed the meditations outlined above
in this free collection; please sign up to my newsletter to
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events.
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