Sources - ca.uky.edu · Keep appointments. l Understand that the depressed person may be...
Transcript of Sources - ca.uky.edu · Keep appointments. l Understand that the depressed person may be...
When SomeoneYou Love Is Experiencing Depression
Educational programs of Kentucky Cooperative Extension serve all peopleregardless of race, color, age, sex, religion, disability, or national origin.
Copyright © 2007 University of Kentucky and its licensors. All rights reserved.
Sources:l Beck,Aaron,andRush,JohnA.CognitiveTherapyof
Depression.NewYork,NewYork:GuilfordPress,1979.
l Burns,David.TheFeelingGoodHandbook.NewYork,NewYork:Plume,1990.
l Golant,Mitch,andGolant,Susan.WhattoDoWhenSomeoneYouLoveIsDepressed.NewYork,NewYork:HenryHoltCo.,1996.
l Mark,Francis.Depression:TheMoodDisease.Baltimore,Maryland:JohnsHopkinsUniversityPress,1990.
l McGrath,Ellen.TheCompleteIdiot’sGuidetoBeatingtheBlues.NewYork,NewYork:Macmillan,1998.
l Murray,Bob,andFortinberry,Alicia.CreatingOptimism:AProven,Seven-StepProgramforOvercomingDepression.NewYork,NewYork:McGraw-Hill,2004.
DougBurnham,MSWExtensionHealthSpecialistUKCooperativeExtensionHEELProgramUKCollegeofSocialWork
February2007
ForinformationonhealthissuesinKentucky,logonto:www.ca.uky.edu/heel
When Someone You Love Is Experiencing DepressionDepressionisnotjusta“blueperiod”:itisanillness.Itaffects
thebody,feelings,thoughts,andbehavior.Itisnotsomethingyoucan“justgetover.”Itisanillnessthatneedstreating.Youwouldnotexpectapersontobeableto“justgetover”diabetesorcancer.Thesameistruefordepression.Italsodoesnotmeanthatthepersonisweak,althoughsomemayviewitthatway. Fortunately,mostpeoplerespondwelltoacombinationofmedicationand“talk”therapy.Wehavelearnedalotaboutdepressionoverthepast20yearsandnewtreatmentshaveprovenverysuccessful.Wehavealsolearnedthatfullresultsfromtreatmentmaytakeseveralweeksormonths.Infact,forsomepeople,treatmentneedstogoonforalongtime,eventopreventnewoccurrencesofdepression.
What can you do to help?l Encourage the person to seek
treatmentfromaqualifiedmentalhealthprofessionalaswellasanattentivedoctor.Medicinealoneissometimestried,butitusuallyisnotenough.Ittakesbothmedicineandcounselingtobeeffective.
l Offer help in finding treatment and agree to go with the persontothefirstappointment.
l Encourage the person to follow through with treatment plans.Takemedicationasprescribed.Practicewhatispresentedintreatmentsessions.Keepappointments.
l Understandthatthe depressed personmaybeself-absorbed,irritable,rejecting,hostile,unabletoenjoyanything,onlyseeingthenegative;andmayfailtofollowthroughonthings.Thesearejustpartofthedepressionandmayhavelittleornothingtodowithyou.
l Learn about the symptomsandsignsofdepression.(Seesourcesbelow)
l Allow the person to have as much control as possible.(Depressedperson’sgenerallyfeelatotallackofcontrol.)Gentlyinsistonphysicalactivity.
è Offeropportunitiesforgettingoutofthehouse.
è Trytointerestthepersoninsomephysicalactivity.
è Providecompanionshipbutdonotexpectmuchinreturn(forawhile).
è Provideopportunitiesforsocialinteraction.
(Thepersonwillnot“feel”likedoinganyofthesethings.Thus,somegentleproddingmaybehelpful.)
l Avoid using alcohol or drugs with the person.Thiswillonlycontributetofurtherdepressionandcouldbedangerousincombinationwithmedication.
l Ask, very directly, what the person needs.Depressedindividualsmaynotbeabletorespond.Therefore,bereadytosuggestthingsyouarewillingtodo.Practicalassistanceis
usuallymostappreciated.Itwillhavethegreatestimpactifyoutakeonprojectstogether:
gettingthekidstoschoolordaycare,cleaningthehouse,doinglaundry,goingwiththemtothegrocery,etc.Ifthedepressedpersonlivesalone,
havingamealwithhimmaybehelpful.Manydepressedpeoplelosetheir
appetites–otherswithdepressionovereat.Havingsomeoneelsearoundformealsmighthelpthemtoeatinahealthyway.
l Do not make excuses for the person’s behavior.Eventhoughdepressed,heneedstotakeresponsibilityforwhathedoes.However,becarefulthatyoudonotaddtotheperson’sburdens.
l Be willing to listenbutdonottrytobeatherapistortosolvetheirproblems.
l Offer lots of reassurance –thingswillgetbetterwithtimeandtreatment.Oneofthemajorreactionstodepressionisthefeelingthatthingswillnevergetbetter.–“Thisisthewaythingswillalwaysbe.”Thisisnotrealbutitfeelsrealtosomeonewhoisdepressed.
l Do not deny the person’s feelingsbutbereadytosuggestdifferentinterpretationsorperspectivesofthings.Depressionaffectsthethoughtprocessandcontributestodistortedthinking.Supportivepeoplecanactasasortofrealitycheckforthedepressedlovedone.
l Take suicide comments very seriously.Ifyouthinkthedepressedpersonisthinkingofkillinghimself,askhimverydirectly.Youwillnotbeintroducingtheideaofsuicide.Assurehimthatsuicideisnotthebestalternative.Withtreatmentandtimehewillfeelbetter.Doyourbesttogethimtoprofessionalhelp.Contactemergencyhelpifneeded.
l Take care of yourself.Beingaroundadepressedpersonforlongperiodsoftimecanbeexhausting.Toomuchnegativetalkcanbegintomakeyoufeelalittledepressed.Takebreaks.Getlotsofphysicalactivity.Prepareandeathealthymeals.Get therightamountofsleep.Havefunand
laughalot.Usedailyinspirationalbooks,meditation,orprayer.
Spendsometimewithfriendsandfamilywhoarenotdepressed.Allowyourselftoenjoythebeautyofpeopleandthingsaroundyou.If
beingwithadepressedpersoniscausingyoutofeel“down”
andexhausted,seekguidanceforyourself.
l Asmuchaspossible,share the care-giving.Askdirectlyforassistancefromfamilymembersandfriends.Thismayrequirenegotiatingwiththedepressedpersonthelevelofinformationthatcanbeshared.Donottrytotakeoneverythingbyyourself.
l Recognize that your anger, frustrations, and helplessness are normal feelings.Youmightneedtotalkaboutthesefeelingswithfriendsoraprofessionalhealthprovider.
l Do not take the person’s depression personally.Heisnotdoinganythingtoyou.Heisstrugglingtomaintaincontroloverwhatheisthinking,feeling,anddoing.Youdidnotdoanythingtocausehisdepression.Letgoofanyguiltaboutthat.Youcannot“fix”anotherperson’sdepression.
l Remember that depression is a lot like other health problems that last a long time.Researchhasshownthatdepressiveperiodscanreoccurjustlikeflare-upsofhighbloodpressureorasthma.Bewatchful,andavoidthinkingthatithasallgoneawaywhensymptomsarereduced.Depressioncanreturnandtreatmentmayneedtobeinplaceformanymonthstokeepitatbay.